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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:03,533 (gunfire) (man, filtered voice) Rogue 7-1-9, 2 00:00:03,534 --> 00:00:05,044 we got three bogeys in an S.U.V. I need an R.P.G. A.S.A.P. Copy? 3 00:00:05,036 --> 00:00:07,536 (engine roars) ROGUE 7-1-9, DO YOU COPY? 4 00:00:07,538 --> 00:00:09,178 (man) You like frag grenades, you little bitch? 5 00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:10,680 KENNY, FOCUS! 6 00:00:10,681 --> 00:00:12,641 THIS FRENCH KID KEEPS CALLING ME NAMES. 7 00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:14,723 Craig, how do you say "Your mother" in French? 8 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,185 WELL, IT DEPENDS ON THE CONTEXT. 9 00:00:16,187 --> 00:00:17,187 CRAIG. 10 00:00:17,188 --> 00:00:18,548 OH, UM,VOTRE MERE. 11 00:00:18,549 --> 00:00:21,449 VOTRE MERE, YOU LITTLE BAGUETTE! (laughs) 12 00:00:21,452 --> 00:00:23,292 (gunfire continues) OKAY, I GOT THEIR FLAG. KENNY, GRAB THE SNIPER RIFLE 13 00:00:23,294 --> 00:00:25,034 AND COVER ME FROM THE WATER TOWER. 14 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,025 If these guys light me up, you gotta pick up the flag. 15 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,196 ROGER. 16 00:00:27,198 --> 00:00:29,158 CRAIG, PROTECT THE BASE! GOT IT. 17 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,200 I'M RUNNING! YOU ARE RUNNING. 18 00:00:30,201 --> 00:00:32,161 I'M RUNNING! I AM KILLING. 19 00:00:32,163 --> 00:00:33,533 LOOK OUT! ON THE LEFT! ON THE LEFT! WATCH MY FLANK! 20 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,214 GO, WILL. GO, GO, GO, GO! GO, GO, GO. 21 00:00:35,206 --> 00:00:37,036 YES! YES! GO, GO, GO! 22 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,367 YES! YES! AAH! 23 00:00:38,369 --> 00:00:39,739 YES! WHO'S THE MAN?! 24 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,510 YOU'RE... THE... MAN! YOU ARE DEFINITELY THE MAN. 25 00:00:42,513 --> 00:00:44,653 I AM THE MAN! I'M THEMAN! 26 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,145 (gunfire continues) (woman) WILL! THE KIDS ARE SLEEPING! 27 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,348 SORRY, HONEY. 28 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,319 (gunfire continues, shots ricochet) 29 00:00:50,321 --> 00:00:52,321 (whispers) I'M THE MAN! 30 00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:54,363 (whispers) YEAH, YOU ARE! (whispers) ARE YOU IN TROUBLE? 31 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,555 ♪♪♪ 32 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,127 MM. Hey, Will, 33 00:00:59,130 --> 00:01:01,760 HOW DID YOU GET THERESA TO BE COOL WITH YOU PLAYING TONIGHT? 34 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:05,202 I JUST ASKED HER IN THE RIGHT WAY. 35 00:01:05,196 --> 00:01:08,136 YOU WANNA HAVE SEX? 36 00:01:08,139 --> 00:01:09,439 GETTING GAME TIME'S EASY. 37 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,740 IT'S NATHAN'S BIRTHDAY GIFT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT. 38 00:01:11,742 --> 00:01:13,502 I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU GET A KID TURNING 13 39 00:01:13,504 --> 00:01:15,154 THAT SAYS, "I'M A MAN"? 40 00:01:15,146 --> 00:01:17,076 HOW ABOUT A COUPLE OF HOOKERS? 41 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,207 OOH! OR A TRASH BAG FULL OF CHICKEN WINGS? 42 00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:20,610 GET HIM A JOURNAL. 43 00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:22,251 A JOURNAL? A JOURNAL. 44 00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:24,793 YEAH, UH, 13 CAN BE A VERY CONFUSING AGE. 45 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,115 A JOURNAL IS A GREAT PLACE TO PUT ALL YOUR THOUGHTS 46 00:01:27,118 --> 00:01:29,418 AND DREAMS AND POETRY AND-- 47 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,120 YOU KNOW, ANOTHER GOOD PLACE TO PUT ALL THOSE THINGS 48 00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:32,492 IS IN YOUR UTERUS. 49 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:33,663 (gunfire) 50 00:01:33,664 --> 00:01:35,204 YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. I DON'T CARE. 51 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,466 GET HIM A TRASH BAG FULL OF HOOKERS. 52 00:01:36,467 --> 00:01:39,127 CRAIG,WHAT'S WRONG? 53 00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:41,330 I SAW LISA TODAY. 54 00:01:41,332 --> 00:01:42,572 AND I'M GETTING MARRIED THIS SATURDAY, 55 00:01:42,573 --> 00:01:44,813 AND I JUST FELT LIKE I HAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 56 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,505 REMEMBER SOPHOMORE YEAR 57 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,137 WHEN YOU WOULD COME TO MY DORM WITH YOUR GUITAR 58 00:01:48,139 --> 00:01:49,739 AND SING "BROWN EYED GIRL"? 59 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:54,592 YOU HAD THAT BEARD, THAT SEXY BEARD. 60 00:01:57,148 --> 00:02:00,218 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? THAT WAS A CRY FOR HELP, YES? 61 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,191 Right? 62 00:02:01,192 --> 00:02:03,152 YEAH, IT WAS A CRY FOR HELP. 63 00:02:03,154 --> 00:02:06,604 NO! THAT GIRL IS A NUT, CRAIG, AND I KNOW ABOUT NUTTY GIRLS. 64 00:02:06,597 --> 00:02:08,127 I USED TO BE MARRIED TO ONE. 65 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,758 YEAH, SPEAKING OF NUTTY GIRLS YOU USED TO BE MARRIED TO, 66 00:02:10,761 --> 00:02:13,301 BRENDA IS GONNA BE AT NATHAN'S PARTY ON SATURDAY. 67 00:02:13,304 --> 00:02:14,514 WHAT?! 68 00:02:14,505 --> 00:02:15,805 NO. NO WAY. 69 00:02:15,806 --> 00:02:17,806 (sets down controller) 70 00:02:17,808 --> 00:02:19,538 (beep) 71 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:22,210 (telephone rings) 72 00:02:22,213 --> 00:02:24,183 TELL MY SISTER TO PICK UP THE PHONE. (ring 73 00:02:24,175 --> 00:02:25,315 THERESA, IT'S KENNY! 74 00:02:25,316 --> 00:02:27,276 (ring) (Theresa) TELL HIM I'M SLEEPING. 75 00:02:27,278 --> 00:02:28,578 TELL HER I CAN HEAR HER. 76 00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:30,919 I FEEL LIKE LISA WANTS ME TO REACH OUT TO HER. 77 00:02:30,921 --> 00:02:33,321 FINE. I'LL JUST CALL HER CELL. (beep) 78 00:02:33,324 --> 00:02:34,494 YEAH, I'LL CALL HER CELL. 79 00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:36,425 GUYS, COME ON. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE COVERING ME. 80 00:02:36,427 --> 00:02:38,427 (gunfire) Guys, my flank! My--man down! 81 00:02:38,429 --> 00:02:40,259 Man down! HI, LISA. UM... 82 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,791 (man screams) THANK YOU. 83 00:02:41,792 --> 00:02:43,292 IF YOU DON'T WANNA CALL ME BACK, DON'T CALL ME BACK. 84 00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:45,844 BUT IF YOU DO WANNA CALL ME BACK, THEN DO CALL ME BACK. 85 00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:51,400 NATHAN, COME DOWNSTAIRS, PLEASE! 86 00:02:51,402 --> 00:02:52,642 HONEY, WILL YOU OPEN THIS FOR ME? 87 00:02:52,643 --> 00:02:53,803 YEAH. 88 00:02:53,804 --> 00:02:55,354 OOH. 89 00:02:55,346 --> 00:02:58,346 THIS IS A JOB... (click) 90 00:02:58,349 --> 00:03:00,879 FOR THE OLD MOHASKA! OLD MOHASKA! 91 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,251 HERE WE GO. 92 00:03:02,253 --> 00:03:04,323 (gasps) 93 00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:07,355 "ASSAULT OF THE DEAD TWO"! THAT'S AWESOME! THANKS. MWAH. 94 00:03:07,358 --> 00:03:09,718 IT'S NOT FOR YOU. IT'S FOR NATHAN'S BIRTHDAY. 95 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,260 BUT THIS VIDEO GAME IS VIOLENT AND SCARY. 96 00:03:13,264 --> 00:03:14,604 YEAH. 97 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:15,765 IT SAYS RIGHT HERE ON THE BOX-- "AGES 17 AND OLDER." 98 00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:17,296 OH, REALLY? 99 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,198 THIS WOULD'VE BEEN A GREAT THING FOR ME TO GET HIM. 100 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,528 SO PUT BOTH OF OUR NAMES ON IT. 101 00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:22,230 NO, NO. I NEED TO GET HIM SOMETHING JUST FROM ME. 102 00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:23,833 FATHER TO SON. 103 00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:26,284 SOMETHING THAT SAYS, "I KNOW YOU'RE A MAN NOW 104 00:03:26,277 --> 00:03:29,307 BECAUSE I, TOO, AM A MAN." 105 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,740 UGH. WE NEED MORE HAZELNUT CREAMER. 106 00:03:30,741 --> 00:03:33,211 AND NEXT TIME, CAN YOU GET THE NONDAIRY STUFF? 107 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,353 I'M SORRY, HONEY, 108 00:03:34,345 --> 00:03:36,785 BUT YOUR GRANDFATHER FOUGHT IN WORLD WAR II, 109 00:03:36,787 --> 00:03:38,587 YOUR FATHER FOUGHT IN VIETNAM, 110 00:03:38,589 --> 00:03:42,289 BUT YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND USE POMEGRANATE BODY WASH. 111 00:03:42,293 --> 00:03:44,803 ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT A MAN? 112 00:03:44,795 --> 00:03:47,795 YOU ARE MAN... ISH? 113 00:03:47,798 --> 00:03:50,598 NO, "MANNISH" IS WHAT YOUR COUSIN STACEY IS. 114 00:03:50,601 --> 00:03:52,831 I AMALLMAN, 115 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:56,443 AND IT IS MY JOB AS HIS FATHER TO MAKE NATHAN A MAN. 116 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,337 DAD! GUESS WHAT. 117 00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:00,569 SAMANTHA GUNNER JUST CALLED, AND SHE SAID THAT SHE'S... 118 00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:03,241 (high-pitched singsong voice) COMING TO MY PARTY TOMORROW! 119 00:04:04,715 --> 00:04:06,645 IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS. MM-HMM. 120 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,247 (normal voice) THAT GIRL IS A FIRECRACKER, DAD. 121 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,418 WHAT DO I DO? 122 00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:10,580 LOOK... 123 00:04:10,581 --> 00:04:12,381 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BOUNCE HOUSE AT THE PARTY-- 124 00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:14,333 YOU KNOW, FOR LUCY'S FRIENDS. 125 00:04:14,325 --> 00:04:16,785 A BOUNCE HOUSE IS LIKE A 12-YEAR-OLD'S BACHELOR PAD-- 126 00:04:16,787 --> 00:04:19,427 EVERYTHING'S SOFT, THE LIGHTING'S EXOTIC. 127 00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:20,630 RIGHT. MM. 128 00:04:20,631 --> 00:04:22,391 HEY! (closes door) 129 00:04:22,393 --> 00:04:25,043 BRENDA CAN'T COME TO NATHAN'S PARTY TOMORROW. 130 00:04:25,035 --> 00:04:26,835 OKAY, T.? WE'RE DIVORCED. 131 00:04:26,837 --> 00:04:28,367 I KNOW YOU'RE DIVORCED, 132 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,699 BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT LIKE AN ADULT. 133 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,400 SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND. YEAH, WELL, UM, I'M YOUR BROTHER, 134 00:04:32,403 --> 00:04:33,473 AND BRENDA CAN'T COME TO THE-- 135 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,414 (Will) HEY! DA DA DA DA! USE THE SUBSTITUTE, PLEASE. 136 00:04:35,406 --> 00:04:37,376 WHAT? I KNOW THE RULES. 137 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,348 I WAS GONNA SAY "FLUFFIN'." 138 00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:42,450 CAN'T COME TO THE FLUFFIN' PARTY. 139 00:04:42,453 --> 00:04:44,723 BRENDA IS NO LONGER A PART OF THIS FAMILY. 140 00:04:44,715 --> 00:04:45,885 (singsongy) HELLO! 141 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,056 (Lucy) AUNT BRENDA! 142 00:04:47,057 --> 00:04:50,487 (normal voice) HI, EVERYBODY. 143 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,661 AND KENNY. 144 00:04:51,662 --> 00:04:53,422 BRENDA, LISTEN. 145 00:04:53,424 --> 00:04:54,574 TOMORROW IS NATHAN'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, 146 00:04:54,565 --> 00:04:56,495 AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SET SOME BOUNDARIES. 147 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,367 I AGREE. YOU SHOULDN'T BE THERE. 148 00:04:59,370 --> 00:05:01,300 (chuckles) VERYFUNNY. 149 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,001 SO TOMORROW AT THE PARTY-- THE ONE I'M COMING TO? 150 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,814 NO. TOMORROW-- WHEN I COME TO THE PARTY? 151 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,976 NO, YOU'RE NOT-- GONNA MISS THAT PARTY? 152 00:05:07,978 --> 00:05:09,478 UGH! 153 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:10,980 IT IS SO CUTE THE WAY YOU TWO FINISH EACH OTHER'S SENTENCES. 154 00:05:10,981 --> 00:05:12,711 KENNY, CAN I HAVE A MINUTE? 155 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,423 (mutters) 156 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,015 (Will) AHEM. (Kenny groans) 157 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,686 (sighs) 158 00:05:17,688 --> 00:05:19,318 I SWEAR, WILL, SHE'S JUST DOING THIS TO GET ARISEOUT OF ME. 159 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,589 YEAH, WELL, IT'S WORKING. 160 00:05:20,591 --> 00:05:22,821 IF YOU FREAK OUT, SHE WINS. 161 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,703 I MEAN, YOU GOTTA PLAY IT COOL, MAN. 162 00:05:24,695 --> 00:05:26,595 I MEAN, JUST THINK OF THE COOLEST GUY YOU CAN THINK OF 163 00:05:26,597 --> 00:05:27,757 AND ACT LIKE HIM. 164 00:05:27,758 --> 00:05:29,328 LIKE, WHO'S THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD? 165 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,459 TOBEY MAGUIRE. 166 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,842 UH--UH, YEAH. UH, ALL RIGHT. OKAY. SURE. FINE. 167 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,035 TOBEY MAGUIRE. 168 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,466 SO JUST ASK YOURSELF, "WHAT WOULD TOBEY MAGUIRE DO?" 169 00:05:39,470 --> 00:05:41,440 RIGHT. 170 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,512 W.W.T.M.D.? 171 00:05:43,514 --> 00:05:44,484 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 172 00:05:44,475 --> 00:05:45,645 GOOD. 173 00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,476 (laughs) 174 00:05:47,478 --> 00:05:49,348 HEY, B. 175 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,479 IT'S TOTALLY COOL. YOU CAN COME TO THE PARTY. 176 00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:55,734 I'M BRINGING A DATE. 177 00:05:55,726 --> 00:05:57,726 WHAT?!NO! 178 00:05:57,728 --> 00:06:00,128 ABSOLUTELY NOT. THAT'S IT. 179 00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:01,790 WILL, YOU'RE THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE. 180 00:06:01,792 --> 00:06:03,462 YOU TELL HER SHE CANNOT COME TO THIS PARTY. 181 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,074 (sighs) OKAY. BRENDA... 182 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:10,868 UH, THE PARTY STARTS AT 2:00, AND DRESS IS CASUAL. 183 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,553 THIS IS TOTALLY FLUFFED UP. 184 00:06:21,852 --> 00:06:23,812 (telephone ringing in distance) 185 00:06:23,814 --> 00:06:25,494 (knocks on door) 186 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,656 MM. JEEZ. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BOSS. 187 00:06:27,658 --> 00:06:29,418 WHAT, YOU LOOKING AT PORN? 188 00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,660 NO, I WAS LOOKING FOR A GIFT FOR NATHAN. 189 00:06:31,662 --> 00:06:34,902 SO FAR, ALL I FOUND ARE A SHOTGUN, A RUBBER RAFT, 190 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,725 SOME GUY ON craigslist WHO'S SELLING AN ALLIGATOR. 191 00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:39,128 MAN, YOU GET HIM ANY OF THOSE THINGS AND A BEER, 192 00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:40,669 HE'LL BE VERY HAPPY. 193 00:06:40,671 --> 00:06:42,601 WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 194 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,913 I FINISHED MY ROUTE EARLY. LET'S GO GET LUNCH. 195 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,035 IT'S 10:15. 196 00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:47,436 NORMALLY, I WORK A LOT LONGER, 197 00:06:47,438 --> 00:06:49,938 BUT THIS NEW PRODUCT, FLAXIDORAL... 198 00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:51,610 (thud) NOT A BIG HIT. 199 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,042 WHAT DOES IT DO? 200 00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:54,793 FLAXIDORAL PROVIDES RELIEF 201 00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:58,615 FOR BACTERIAL INFECTIONS OF THE SKIN AND SOFT TISSUE. 202 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,449 SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE PANIC ATTACKS, LOOSE STOOL, 203 00:07:01,452 --> 00:07:02,622 NO STOOL. 204 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,023 IT'S ALWAYS STOOL, ISN'T IT? 205 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,834 HEY. 206 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:06,856 ♪ BLITZCRAIG! ♪ 207 00:07:06,857 --> 00:07:09,027 IT'S THE ROBERTSON CLAIM. MM. 208 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,429 MR. ROSS SAYS WE'RE NOT PAYING IT. 209 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,730 IN FACT, WE'RE NOT PAYING ANYTHING TODAY. 210 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:12,802 THERE WAS A MEMO. 211 00:07:12,803 --> 00:07:14,033 THAT'S RIDICULOUS. THEY CANCELED-- 212 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,644 WAIT. THERE'S MORE. 213 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,666 LISA DIDN'T CALL ME BACK LAST NIGHT. 214 00:07:17,668 --> 00:07:20,138 SO... I'M GUESSING YOU CALLED... 215 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,140 MM. 216 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,711 SIX TIMES? 217 00:07:22,713 --> 00:07:25,023 ONCE... AT FIRST. 218 00:07:25,015 --> 00:07:26,815 AND THEN ONCE AGAIN, SO TWICE. 219 00:07:26,817 --> 00:07:27,977 (mouths word) 220 00:07:27,978 --> 00:07:29,548 AT FIRST, AND THEN WELL, 221 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,080 YEAH, SIX--SIX TIMES. (Kenny and Will) SIX TIMES. 222 00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:32,451 (sighs deeply) 223 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,562 WHOA, MISTER. 224 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:35,855 YOU GROWING A BEARD? 225 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,656 NO, I FORGOT TO SHAVE. 226 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,058 DIDN'T LISA USED TO LIKE YOU WITH A LITTLE... 227 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,589 WHO KNOWS? I DON'T KNOW? WHAT IF SHE DID? 228 00:07:40,591 --> 00:07:42,061 IT'S NOT WHY I'M DOING IT. 229 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,642 NO. NO, I WON'T HAVE THIS. 230 00:07:44,635 --> 00:07:46,995 A BEARD ISMYTHING. YOU UNDERSTAND ME? 231 00:07:46,997 --> 00:07:48,597 I MUST INSIST THAT YOU SHAVE IT. 232 00:07:48,599 --> 00:07:49,739 (scoffs) I'M SORRY, KENNY, 233 00:07:49,740 --> 00:07:52,070 BUT A PERSON CANNOT OWN A BEARD. YOU SHAVE IT! 234 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,552 THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT! 235 00:07:54,545 --> 00:07:56,745 I GOT IT, THE PERFECT GIFT FOR NATHAN. 236 00:07:56,747 --> 00:07:57,907 YOU GOING WITH THE ALLIGATOR? 237 00:07:57,908 --> 00:07:59,178 I THOUGHT WE WERE GRABBING LUNCH. 238 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,979 DO YOU GUYS WEAR WATCHES? IT'S 10:15. 239 00:08:05,956 --> 00:08:07,886 SO COME ON. TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT HIM. IS IT A TRAMPOLINE? 240 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,588 (scoffs) A TRAMPOLINE? WE'LL BE LUCKY 241 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,490 IF HE DOESN'T BREAK HIS LEG IN THE BOUNCE HOUSE. 242 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,121 OOH! IS IT THOSE MARACAS HE'S BEEN WANTING? 243 00:08:13,123 --> 00:08:16,173 YEAH, BECAUSE, UH, NOTHING SAYS "MAN" LIKE MARACAS. 244 00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:17,966 AND THEN SHE STARTED REMINISCING 245 00:08:17,968 --> 00:08:19,728 ABOUT HOW I USED TO SING "BROWN EYED GIRL" 246 00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:21,000 IN HER DORM ROOM. 247 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,601 OHH. I LOVE THAT SONG. 248 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,643 SHE'S GETTING MARRIEDTODAY, 249 00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:26,105 AND I DON'T THINK SHE REALLY WANTS TO. 250 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,906 THAT'S WHY SHE NEEDED TO SEE ME. 251 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,108 MM. SO DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO SOMETHING? 252 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,680 SHE WANTS ME TO DO SOMETHING, RIGHT? I SHOULD DO SOMETHING. 253 00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:34,512 I SHOULD REACH OUT AND I SHOULD DO SOMETHING. 254 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,654 NO, CRAIG, I TOLD YOU. 255 00:08:35,646 --> 00:08:37,646 SHE'S JUST FEELING NOSTALGIC. THAT'S ALL. 256 00:08:37,648 --> 00:08:40,848 OH, I TOTALLY DISAGREE. SHE WANTS YOU YOU COME AFTER HER. 257 00:08:40,851 --> 00:08:42,691 YOU THINK? (Will, Theresa, and Kenny) NO! 258 00:08:42,693 --> 00:08:44,123 YOU NUT BAG. TOTALLY, CRAIG. 259 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,264 I MEAN, THIS GIRL IS YOUR SOUL MATE. 260 00:08:46,256 --> 00:08:47,826 YOU CAN'T LET HER GET AWAY. 261 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,998 I MEAN, ONCE YOU REALIZE THAT SOMEONE IS YOUR SOUL MATE, 262 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,160 IT'S FOREVER. 263 00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:52,531 (scoffs) 264 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,112 YOU SAIDIWAS YOUR SOUL MATE. 265 00:08:55,105 --> 00:08:58,165 MYSOUL MATE WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE, 266 00:08:58,168 --> 00:09:01,208 AND HE'S BRINGING LEMON BARS. 267 00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:02,811 OKAY. 268 00:09:02,813 --> 00:09:04,883 I CAN'T PROMISE THAT THIS LITTLE BIRTHDAY PARTY 269 00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:06,715 ISN'T GONNA TURN INTO AN ALL-OUT BLOODBATH! 270 00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:09,617 WAIT. HEY, HEY, HEY. W.W.T.M.D. 271 00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:10,620 RIGHT. OKAY? 272 00:09:10,621 --> 00:09:11,721 YOU'RE IN CHARGE. 273 00:09:11,722 --> 00:09:13,952 YES. (sighs) THANK YOU. I'M IN CHARGE. RIGHT. 274 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:16,894 THIS GUY'S JUST SOME LOSER. HE'S NO THREAT TO ME. 275 00:09:16,887 --> 00:09:18,657 YEAH. HE'S NOBODY. HE'S NOTHING. 276 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,729 HE'S... AN UNDERWEAR MODEL. 277 00:09:20,731 --> 00:09:21,761 HI, FOLKS. 278 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,832 THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 279 00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:26,674 BREND HAS TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT ALL OF YOU. 280 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,797 YOU MUST BE THERESA. 281 00:09:27,798 --> 00:09:29,968 OH. (giggles) OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. 282 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,240 THERE'S THE BIRTHDAY BOY! 283 00:09:31,241 --> 00:09:32,301 THANKS! 284 00:09:32,302 --> 00:09:35,112 YOU MUST BE WILL, MAN OF THE HOUSE. 285 00:09:35,105 --> 00:09:37,205 IT'S A PLEASURE. HELLO. 286 00:09:39,109 --> 00:09:41,809 AND YOU MUST BE KEN. 287 00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:44,282 THERE'S NO NEED FOR THIS TO BE AWKWARD FOR US. 288 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,224 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I RESPECT YOU. 289 00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:49,256 YOU AND BREND ARE CONNECTED. I GET THAT. 290 00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:51,919 SO IF WE NEED TO CLEAR THE AIR, THEN I SAY LET'S DO IT. 291 00:09:51,922 --> 00:09:56,332 AND THEN... LET'S GROW TO BE CLOSE FRIENDS. 292 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,169 WHATEVER, DUDE. (sighs) 293 00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:03,631 (children laughing) 294 00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:04,944 GOOD JOB. 295 00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:08,707 YOU'RE HANDLING THIS WELL. 296 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,709 OF COURSE I AM. I'M AN ADULT. 297 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:11,941 AH! (groans) 298 00:10:11,942 --> 00:10:13,112 THAT'S GOOD. I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D BE INTIMIDATED 299 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,223 BECAUSE HE'S SO TALL AND HANDSOME. 300 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,646 OH, HE'S GOOD AT BASKETBALL. I'M GOOD AT BASKETBALL. 301 00:10:18,649 --> 00:10:19,819 HE'S BETTER. 302 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:20,820 OHH! (chuckles) 303 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,791 GRANT! 304 00:10:23,954 --> 00:10:25,734 THROW ME THE PILL. 305 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,896 LITTLE ONE-ON-ONE. MM! 306 00:10:26,897 --> 00:10:28,157 OH, I'M SORRY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. 307 00:10:28,158 --> 00:10:29,998 BEAT IT. 308 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,337 WE'LL GO WITH SHIRTS AND SKINS. 309 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,138 THAT WAY, THERE'S NO CONFUSION ABOUT WHO'S ON WHAT TEAM. 310 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,846 (Kenny) THAT WAS A FOUL. I'M NOT GONNA CALL IT... 311 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,349 YOU'RE RIDICULOUS, YOU KNOW THAT? 312 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,880 'CAUSE I'M COOL LIKE THAT. WHAT? WHAT AM I DOING? 313 00:10:51,882 --> 00:10:53,852 B., I HAVE KNOWN YOU SINCE THE NINTH GRADE, 314 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:54,994 AND EVEN THEN YOU WERE PLAYING THESE STUPID GAMES, 315 00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,385 TRYING TO MAKE MY BROTHER CRAZY. 316 00:10:56,386 --> 00:10:58,726 OH, THERESA. (Kenny) IT'S ME. 317 00:10:58,729 --> 00:11:00,959 NO, GRANT'S A PART OF MY LIFE NOW. (ball hits backboard) 318 00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,291 THIS ISN'T ABOUT MAKING KENNY JEALOUS. 319 00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:04,192 IT'S ABOUT ME MOVING ON 320 00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:05,804 AND FINDING A FUTURE WITH THIS GUY. 321 00:11:05,796 --> 00:11:08,396 (panting) THAT'S TRAVELING, AND ALSO YOU HURT ME. 322 00:11:08,398 --> 00:11:09,768 REALLY? 323 00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:12,100 WHAT'S HIS LAST NAME? 324 00:11:12,102 --> 00:11:13,142 PLEASE. 325 00:11:13,143 --> 00:11:14,913 DOES HE EVEN NEED ONE? 326 00:11:14,905 --> 00:11:16,845 THAT'S NOT FAIR. HE'S CHEATING. I'M OUTTA HERE. 327 00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:19,147 KENNY? KENNY! WHERE YOU GOING? 328 00:11:19,149 --> 00:11:21,809 AND PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON! 329 00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:24,412 IS IT A SLINGSHOT? NOPE. 330 00:11:24,414 --> 00:11:26,464 IS IT A CHEMISTRY SET? YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GUESS. 331 00:11:26,456 --> 00:11:28,886 IT'S SOMETHING THAT ONLY A FATHER WOULD GIVE HIS SON, 332 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,959 SOMETHING THAT ONLY I WOULD GIVE NATHAN. 333 00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:35,432 DAD, GRANT GAVE ME A SHAVING KIT! 334 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,829 IS IT A SHAVING KIT? 335 00:11:40,831 --> 00:11:41,871 A SHAVING KIT. 336 00:11:41,872 --> 00:11:44,702 WHO GIVES A SHAVING KIT TO A KID HE'S NEVER MET? 337 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,314 A TOUCHY-FEELY JACKASS, THAT'S WHO. 338 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,307 OKAY, WE'RE GONNA HIT THE MALL. KENNY, I NEED YOU IN DVDs. 339 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,879 LOOK FOR CLASSICS, 340 00:11:50,881 --> 00:11:53,141 ANYTHING THAT SPEAKS TO A BOY'S TRANSITION TO MANHOOD. 341 00:11:53,143 --> 00:11:54,713 NOTHING WITH BRENDAN FRASER. 342 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,854 DUH. 343 00:11:55,846 --> 00:11:57,916 CRAIG, YOU AND I WILL HIT, UH, MUSIC, GADGETS. 344 00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,988 (crying) 345 00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:01,990 (turns off engine) 346 00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:04,292 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 347 00:12:04,294 --> 00:12:06,804 I CAN'T TAKE IT. I NEED CLOSURE. 348 00:12:06,797 --> 00:12:08,427 WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 349 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,728 CLOSURE! I NEED CLOSURE! 350 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,900 YOU NEED TO CLOSURE VAGINA. 351 00:12:12,903 --> 00:12:14,913 (panting) 352 00:12:14,905 --> 00:12:16,235 IS THAT LISA'S CHURCH? 353 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,936 I NEED TO SEE HER. OH, MY GOD. 354 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:18,908 OKAY, IF I JUST SEE HER GETTING MARRIED, 355 00:12:18,909 --> 00:12:20,739 THEN MAYBE I WILL HAVE CLOSURE. 356 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,970 CRAIG, IF I'M NOT HOME TO CUT THE CAKE IN 30 MINUTES, 357 00:12:21,972 --> 00:12:23,512 THERESA'S GONNA KILL ME. 358 00:12:23,513 --> 00:12:26,023 I KNOW. IT'LL TAKE TWO SECONDS. I-I JUST--I NEED TO SEE HER. 359 00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:31,776 OKAY, FINE. GO. GO. JUST... GO. GET YOUR--YOUR CLOSURE. 360 00:12:31,782 --> 00:12:34,122 (sighs) 361 00:12:34,124 --> 00:12:35,834 WHAT KIND OF A CAKE ARE WE HAVING? 362 00:12:35,826 --> 00:12:36,956 IT'S FOR THE KIDS, KENNY. 363 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,127 OKAY. 364 00:12:38,128 --> 00:12:40,828 OH, FLUFF ME! HE'S GOT HIS GUITAR! 365 00:12:40,831 --> 00:12:42,061 (tuning guitar) 366 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,972 (man) AND AS THESE TWO HEARTS WANDER THROUGH THIS WORLD, 367 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,865 MAY THEY EACH FIND THE COMFORT OF GOD'S ETERNAL LOVE. 368 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,068 (strums chord) 369 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:52,939 ♪ HEY, WHERE DID WE GO ♪ 370 00:12:52,943 --> 00:12:56,283 ♪ DAYS WHEN THE RAINS CAME? ♪ 371 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,776 ♪ DOWN IN THE HOLLOW ♪ 372 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,979 ♪ PLAYING A NEW GAME ♪ 373 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:07,124 ♪ LAUGHIN' AND A-RUNNIN', HEY, HEY ♪ 374 00:13:07,117 --> 00:13:10,957 ♪ SKIPPIN' AND A-JUMPIN' ♪ 375 00:13:10,961 --> 00:13:13,421 ♪ IN THE MISTY MORNIN' FOG ♪ 376 00:13:13,423 --> 00:13:17,403 ♪ WITH OUR HEARTS THUMPIN' ♪ 377 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,967 ♪ AND YOU ♪ 378 00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:22,230 ♪ MY BROWN EYED GIRL ♪ 379 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,475 ♪ YOU MY ♪ 380 00:13:28,478 --> 00:13:31,508 ♪ BROWN EYED GIRL ♪ 381 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,411 (Van Morrison) ♪ DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN ♪ 382 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,323 (Will) GO! GO, GO! GO, GO, GO! 383 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,015 COME ON. 384 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,047 HOW DID I SOUND? COME ON! 385 00:13:39,049 --> 00:13:41,049 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA TI DA ♪ 386 00:13:41,051 --> 00:13:42,921 ♪ JUST LIKE THAT ♪ 387 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,933 ♪ SHA-LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪ 388 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,195 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA TI DA ♪ 389 00:13:46,196 --> 00:13:47,526 GO! COME ON! 390 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,357 AAH! 391 00:13:49,359 --> 00:13:51,029 (Kenny groans) COME ON! (panting) WILL? WILL, THE DOORS. CAN'T OPEN. 392 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,001 WILL, OPEN THE DOORS! AAH! 393 00:13:53,003 --> 00:13:56,273 GO, GO, GO, GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! (starts engine, tires peal) 394 00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:58,936 YOU'RE DEAD! 395 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,423 ♪ SHA-LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-- ♪ 396 00:14:05,415 --> 00:14:06,845 KENNY! KENNY! 397 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:07,946 CATCHY TUNE. 398 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,118 THAT ACTUALLY JUST HAPPENED. 399 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,120 YOU ACTUALLY JUST CRASHED THAT WEDDING WITH A GUITAR. 400 00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:14,483 I MEAN, WHO DOES THAT? 401 00:14:14,484 --> 00:14:16,464 BRENDA SAID LISA WANTED ME TO STOP IT! 402 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,026 OH, YOU LISTEN TO BRENDA? 403 00:14:18,028 --> 00:14:21,028 WELL, NEED I REMIND YOU, THIS IS A WOMAN WHO MARRIED KENNY. 404 00:14:21,031 --> 00:14:26,301 ♪ SHA-LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, DA DOO-- ♪ 405 00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:29,066 (voice breaks) I LOVE HER, WILL. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. 406 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,439 YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVES HER? 407 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,140 THE GUY FOLLOWING US 408 00:14:32,142 --> 00:14:34,302 IN THE BLACK LIMOUSINE WITH THE CANS TIED TO IT. 409 00:14:34,304 --> 00:14:37,154 OH! OH, MY GOD! 410 00:14:37,147 --> 00:14:39,977 PILATES CHANGED MY LIFE, LADIES. 411 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,510 I SLEEP BETTER, I HAVE MORE ENERGY AT THE OFFICE... 412 00:14:42,512 --> 00:14:44,082 AND IN THE BEDROOM. 413 00:14:45,115 --> 00:14:48,015 (laughs) NO, I'M KIDDING. 414 00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:50,018 OR AM I? 415 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,990 (tires screech) 416 00:14:56,566 --> 00:14:58,366 (Will) OKAY, EVERYBODY! 417 00:14:58,368 --> 00:15:00,298 WE'RE GONNA CUT THE CAKE, SO LET'S GET IN THE HOUSE. 418 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,500 WE GOT A SITUATION OVER HERE! 419 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,201 NO, NO, NO. THERE'S NO SITUATION. 420 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:06,043 WE JUST NEED EVERYBODY IN THE HOUSE. EVERYONE... 421 00:15:06,036 --> 00:15:07,206 DAD, DAD. GO IN THE HOUSE. 422 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,277 SAMANTHA NEEDS THIS TAG CUT OFF HER CAP. 423 00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:10,479 USE THE OLD MOHASKA. 424 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,080 THAT'S MY DAD'S KNIFE. (click) 425 00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:14,082 THANKS, MR. KEEN. 426 00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:15,054 (click) 427 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,145 SO NATHAN TELLS ME YOU SELL INSURANCE. 428 00:15:16,146 --> 00:15:17,916 UH, YES, I DO. I DO. 429 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,547 BUT RIGHT NOW WE'RE GONNA GO IN THE HOUSE. OKAY. OH, OKAY. 430 00:15:19,549 --> 00:15:21,049 YEAH. 431 00:15:21,051 --> 00:15:22,221 HONEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 432 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,392 NOTHING. EVERYTHING'S FINE. 433 00:15:23,393 --> 00:15:25,663 (brakes screech, crash) 434 00:15:27,097 --> 00:15:29,997 OKAY, LET'S CUT THE CAKE. 435 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,130 (sighs) WHAT... 436 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,461 ALL RIGHT, COME ON. 437 00:15:32,462 --> 00:15:35,042 THEY... IT'S ALL RIGHT. 438 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,436 (glass shatters) 439 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,107 BRING OUT THE BROWN EYED GIRL! 440 00:15:39,109 --> 00:15:40,969 THIS IS BAD. 441 00:15:40,971 --> 00:15:43,071 NO, THIS VERY BAD. 442 00:15:43,073 --> 00:15:44,713 CAN YOU SEE IF HE'S WEARING A WEDDING RING? 443 00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:48,154 'CAUSE IF HE'S NOT, LISA'S STILL SINGLE. 444 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,648 THIS IS EXCITING. 445 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,119 ARE YOU INSANE? 446 00:15:52,122 --> 00:15:54,152 WILL, SWEETHEART, WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW? 447 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,464 WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW. 448 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,186 CRAIG, GO OUT AND GIVE YOURSELF UP. 449 00:15:59,189 --> 00:16:02,429 UH, NO, THANK YOU, KENNY. I'M CALLING THE POLICE. 450 00:16:02,432 --> 00:16:04,162 (dialing) DAD? 451 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,269 UM, HELLO. WE HAVE A BIT OF A SITUATION HERE. 452 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,241 MY-- NO. 453 00:16:13,243 --> 00:16:15,453 (cell phone clatters) WE'RE NOT CALLING THE POLICE. 454 00:16:15,445 --> 00:16:17,245 YOU THINK OUR FATHERS WOULD'VE CALLED THE POLICE? 455 00:16:17,247 --> 00:16:19,277 NO. THEY WOULD BE OUT ON THE LAWN RIGHT NOW. 456 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,509 THEY WOULDN'T BE SINGING IN CHURCHES 457 00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:23,080 OR--OR SEARCHING FOR SPECIAL BIRTHDAY GIFTS. 458 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,423 THEY WERE MEN,REALMEN-- 459 00:16:25,415 --> 00:16:28,185 NOT THE OVER-EVOLVED GENERATION OF PANTYWAISTS 460 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,988 THAT WE'VE BECOME. 461 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,219 IT'S TIME TO MAN UP! 462 00:16:31,221 --> 00:16:32,361 CRAIG? 463 00:16:32,362 --> 00:16:34,162 IF I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR LISA, I'LL FIGHT FOR LISA. 464 00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:36,174 GOOD. KENNY? 465 00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:38,466 I AM TOBEY FLUFFIN' MAGUIRE. 466 00:16:38,468 --> 00:16:39,768 WHAT? 467 00:16:39,769 --> 00:16:42,169 OKAY, CRAIG, STAY ON THE PORCH, KEEP AN EYE ON THE LIMO. 468 00:16:42,172 --> 00:16:44,732 KENNY, GO THROUGH THE GARAGE, GET NATHAN'S HOCKEY STICK, 469 00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:46,544 AND COVER MY FLANK ON THE DRIVEWAY. 470 00:16:46,536 --> 00:16:48,076 AYE, AYE, SKIPPER. GOOD. 471 00:16:48,078 --> 00:16:49,208 WHAT DO I DO, WILL? 472 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,639 NO. NO! WILL, HE IS NOT ON THIS TEAM. 473 00:16:51,641 --> 00:16:53,581 KENNY, IS THIS ABOUT THE BASKETBALL GAME? 474 00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,523 JUST STAY ON THE PORCH WITH CRAIG. 475 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,645 DON'T WORRY. 476 00:16:56,646 --> 00:16:59,146 I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING COOL. 477 00:16:59,149 --> 00:17:02,219 NO, NO, GRANT, DON'T DO ANYTHING. I GET IT. 478 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,622 NO, DON'T "GET" ANYTHING. THERE'S NOTHING TO GET. 479 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,034 (whispers) GOT IT. 480 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:12,160 ALL RIGHT. 481 00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:18,707 HEY, FELLAS. 482 00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:20,468 (wind whistles, bird cries) 483 00:17:20,470 --> 00:17:22,610 MIND PUTTING UP THE FLAG ON THE MAILBOX? 484 00:17:22,612 --> 00:17:24,212 I GOT A LETTER GOING OUT. 485 00:17:24,214 --> 00:17:25,654 WE WANT HIM. 486 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,048 YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM. 487 00:17:32,482 --> 00:17:34,622 HOCKEY STICK. HOCKEY STICK. 488 00:17:34,624 --> 00:17:36,334 HOCKEY STICK. HOCKEY-- 489 00:17:36,326 --> 00:17:38,256 HOW DO THEY FIND ANYTHING IN THIS MESS?! 490 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:41,058 LOOK, UH, 491 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,090 YOU GUYS--YOU GUYS DON'T WANNA DO THIS, ALL RIGHT? 492 00:17:44,094 --> 00:17:45,344 (bird cries) 493 00:17:48,138 --> 00:17:50,098 (slapping pogo stick) 494 00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,500 YOU NEED TO CLEAN YOUR GARAGE. 495 00:17:52,502 --> 00:17:55,612 HE RUINED MY WEDDING, AND WE'RE GONNA KICK HIS ASS! 496 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,546 CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT. 497 00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:07,694 BARRACUDA! 498 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,687 UHH! OH! 499 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:10,859 OH! 500 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,760 (Grant grunting, punches landing) 501 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,666 DUDE! (Craig and Kenny laugh) 502 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:19,197 THAT WAS INTENSE. 503 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,599 DUDE, YOU WERE LIKE A JEDI KNIGHT... 504 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,530 WITH A POGO STICK. 505 00:18:22,532 --> 00:18:25,642 AND YOU WERE FREAKING EVERYBODY OUT WITH THAT NEW BEARD. 506 00:18:25,635 --> 00:18:26,775 (laughs) 507 00:18:26,776 --> 00:18:27,836 I'M GONNA SHAVE IT. 508 00:18:27,837 --> 00:18:29,207 DAMN STRAIGHT. 509 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,479 OUR FATHERS WOULD BE PROUD. 510 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,140 TOBEY MAGUIRE WOULD BE PROUD. 511 00:18:33,143 --> 00:18:35,423 WELL, I'LL REMIND YOU GUYS THAT GRANT WAS THE ONLY ONE 512 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,885 WHO ACTUALLY GOT INTO A FIGHT TONIGHT. 513 00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:39,247 THAT'S WHY HE WAS THE ONLY ONE ARRESTED 514 00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:40,449 WHEN THE COPS SHOWED UP. 515 00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:43,620 UH, NO. UH, GRANT WAS ARRESTED BECAUSE HE LOST HIS COOL. 516 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,233 MM-HMM. WE WERE ROCK STEADY. 517 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,795 YO, ROCK STEADY, GRAB YOUR KEYS. WE'RE GOIN'. 518 00:18:47,797 --> 00:18:50,357 YES, MILADY, IWILLTAKE YOU HOME. 519 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,360 (singsongy) HELLO! 520 00:18:52,362 --> 00:18:53,702 (laughs) OH, NO, MY LIEGE. 521 00:18:53,703 --> 00:18:55,373 YOU'RE TAKING ME TO THE POLICE STATION 522 00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:56,665 TO BAIL OUT GRANT. 523 00:18:56,666 --> 00:18:59,366 WHAT?!NO. NO WAY. 524 00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:02,539 AND BRING YOUR A.T.M. CARD. WE NEED BAIL MONEY. 525 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:06,482 FINE! BUT I'M NOT TAKING OUT ANY MORE THAN $300! (door opens) 526 00:19:08,518 --> 00:19:09,878 (door closes) 527 00:19:09,879 --> 00:19:12,349 YOU THINK LISA MIGHT BE UPSET ABOUT WHAT I DID TODAY? 528 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:13,922 YOU MEAN THAT YOU DESTROYED HER WEDDING, 529 00:19:13,923 --> 00:19:15,733 RUINED THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF HER LIFE, 530 00:19:15,725 --> 00:19:18,455 AND EMBARRASSED HER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SHE LOVES? 531 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,288 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. 532 00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:21,430 HONEY, LISTEN-- 533 00:19:21,431 --> 00:19:23,191 I KNOW, I KNOW. 534 00:19:23,193 --> 00:19:25,403 I SHOULD CALL HER. 535 00:19:25,395 --> 00:19:26,535 (chuckles) 536 00:19:28,438 --> 00:19:31,268 DID YOU HAVE A GOOD BIRTHDAY? 537 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,571 IT WASTHEBEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 538 00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:34,843 THE PARTY, THE FIGHT... 539 00:19:34,844 --> 00:19:36,454 GUESS WHAT. 540 00:19:36,446 --> 00:19:38,346 I KISSED SAMANTHA IN THE BOUNCE HOUSE. 541 00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:40,308 THAT'S GREAT. 542 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,622 LOOK, UM, ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT... 543 00:19:45,615 --> 00:19:47,415 I WANTED TO GET YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL. 544 00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:49,487 OH, YEAH. I KNOW. MOM GAVE IT TO ME, AND I LOVE IT. 545 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,919 I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S VIOLENT AND SCARY, 546 00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:53,421 BUT I THINK I'M OLD ENOUGH FOR IT NOW. 547 00:19:55,425 --> 00:19:58,195 (speaks indistinctly) 548 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,297 (sighs) 549 00:20:03,473 --> 00:20:06,543 I THINK YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH FOR SOMETHING ELSE NOW, TOO. 550 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,209 ARE YOU SERIOUS? THE OLD MOHASKA? 551 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,611 EVERY MAN SHOULD HAVE ONE. 552 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,423 THANKS, DAD! 553 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,585 (chuckles) 554 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,418 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NATE. 555 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,496 OH, I KNOW. I'M A FANTASTIC FATHER. 556 00:20:29,499 --> 00:20:30,899 IT WAS THE PERFECT GIFT. 557 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:33,660 YOU JUST GAVE A 13-YEAR-OLD BOY A RAZOR-SHARP KNIFE. 558 00:20:33,663 --> 00:20:37,513 THERESA, MY FATHER GAVE ME THAT KNIFE WHEN I WAS NATHAN'S AGE. 559 00:20:37,507 --> 00:20:39,867 I'VE HAD IT FOR 20 YEARS, AND I HAVE NEVER EVEN HAD-- 560 00:20:39,869 --> 00:20:41,339 (Nathan) OW! 561 00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,611 MOMMY! I'M BLEEDING! 562 00:20:43,613 --> 00:20:46,523 UN-FLUFFIN'-BELIEVABLE. 563 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,980 (gunfire) MAN, GRANT REALLY TOOK IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL 564 00:20:51,981 --> 00:20:53,521 WITH THAT BARRACUDA THING. (laughs) 565 00:20:53,523 --> 00:20:54,653 Apparently, the key to summoning up your courage 566 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:57,564 IS YELLING OUT THE NAME OF SOME RANDOM FISH. 567 00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,427 ORANGE ROUGHY! 568 00:20:59,429 --> 00:21:00,989 MAHIMAHI! 569 00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:02,690 MACKEREL! 570 00:21:02,692 --> 00:21:04,732 STURGEON! 571 00:21:04,734 --> 00:21:06,604 COME ON, CRAIG. GET IN ON THIS WASTE OF TIME. 572 00:21:06,596 --> 00:21:07,936 NAH, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD. 573 00:21:07,937 --> 00:21:09,997 CRAIG. COME ON. 574 00:21:09,999 --> 00:21:11,669 Come on, say a fish. 575 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,301 CRAIG, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. 576 00:21:13,303 --> 00:21:15,453 JUST SAY A FISH. You know you want to, Craig! 577 00:21:15,445 --> 00:21:17,375 Come on, Craig! Say a fish. 578 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,777 COME ON, CRAIG! THAT'S AN ORDER! You know you want to. Name a fish. 579 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,508 Do it! 580 00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:21,850 DOLPHIN! 581 00:21:21,851 --> 00:21:22,951 YEAH! Yeah! 582 00:21:22,952 --> 00:21:25,592 (laughs) 583 00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:26,555 DOLPHIN'S NOT A FISH. 584 00:21:26,556 --> 00:21:32,416 IT'S A MAMMAL. YOU LOSE. 41282

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