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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,612 You know the Neil thing? I reckon you probably need to tool up. 2 00:00:04,664 --> 00:00:07,104 [Richard] Go and put the security cameras up quickly. 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,770 Izzy, this is Richard, 4 00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:11,221 -an online therapist that I see... -Yeah, nice to meet you. 5 00:00:11,287 --> 00:00:13,627 There's a thing that's worse. I killed someone. 6 00:00:13,717 --> 00:00:15,917 -I'm sorry I can't go through with the vasectomy. -[Screams in pain] 7 00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:18,440 -I love Starsky and Hutch. -Isn't it the best show ever? 8 00:00:18,543 --> 00:00:20,973 -Are you for real? -Waka taka, waka taka, waka taka. 9 00:00:21,039 --> 00:00:24,809 -I just want you to come and see me. -I will, Mum, I will. 10 00:00:24,867 --> 00:00:26,267 You come back now. 11 00:00:27,363 --> 00:00:29,363 -Okay, fine. I... -Okay, thank you. 12 00:00:37,081 --> 00:00:38,781 [Doorbell rings] 13 00:00:38,846 --> 00:00:40,046 Door. 14 00:00:49,563 --> 00:00:50,703 Izzy! 15 00:00:50,728 --> 00:00:51,968 -Morning. -[Woman] Hey. 16 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:07,370 Ah, wow, what is this? 17 00:01:09,832 --> 00:01:11,402 -Fuck off. -[Chuckles] 18 00:01:26,873 --> 00:01:28,843 -[Both giggling] -It's crazy. 19 00:01:36,659 --> 00:01:37,859 [Grunts in pain] 20 00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:42,517 [Doorbell ringing] 21 00:01:46,943 --> 00:01:49,313 -[Doorbell ringing] -Uh, morning. 22 00:01:50,538 --> 00:01:52,238 [Sighs] 23 00:01:55,929 --> 00:01:57,759 Hi, Jon. 24 00:01:57,792 --> 00:02:01,102 Finally. Honestly, Richard, you want a job done, you do it yourself. 25 00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,394 Mummy, Jonny's here. 26 00:02:03,484 --> 00:02:05,224 -Mum! -[Woman] Jon-Jon! 27 00:02:05,315 --> 00:02:07,175 Oh, darling... 28 00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:13,846 It's so good. What... Where you going? 29 00:02:13,935 --> 00:02:16,165 Jesus, Richard. Trunky want a bun? 30 00:02:22,655 --> 00:02:24,195 -Richard -Yeah what? 31 00:02:24,253 --> 00:02:26,423 -I've just been given it some serious thought. -Right. 32 00:02:26,483 --> 00:02:28,683 I think Neil is gonna hurt you. I think he is gonna hurt you bad. 33 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:31,253 I think he's gonna torture you. I think he's really gonna cut you up. 34 00:02:31,309 --> 00:02:33,109 He is gonna cut off your balls. 35 00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:36,106 I'm gonna get your gonads and your penis in a box sent to me. 36 00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:38,074 Pete... 37 00:02:38,132 --> 00:02:40,962 Have you sorted out the gear for the party tonight? 38 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,901 Leave it to me. It's fine, okay? 39 00:02:42,924 --> 00:02:44,264 -You haven't got long. -Listen, 40 00:02:44,322 --> 00:02:46,062 I've been going through playlists. 41 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,930 Thinking about you know, what goes with what, what comes next. 42 00:02:48,949 --> 00:02:50,919 -It's not that easy being a DJ. -Really? 43 00:02:50,979 --> 00:02:52,289 -Take it from me. -Right. 44 00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,184 -I've had lots of experience. -Yeah. 45 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,748 We could start with a kind of Groove Armada kind of thing. 46 00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:59,610 -Right. -And then go into, sort of, some minimal kind of techno. 47 00:02:59,699 --> 00:03:02,599 -What's minimal techno? -We might highlight with a bit of Ace of Base. 48 00:03:02,694 --> 00:03:04,594 that'll be the peak, and then we'll come back down again, 49 00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:07,785 with Kruder & Dorfmeister or something like that, I don't know. 50 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,990 -Play some Fleetwood Mac for me. -Oh, Christ! 51 00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:11,617 What's wrong with Fleetwood Mac? They are brilliant. 52 00:03:11,648 --> 00:03:13,548 They're one of the biggest selling bands of all time. 53 00:03:13,612 --> 00:03:15,652 I think we can be a little bit more edgy than Fleetwood Mac. 54 00:03:15,675 --> 00:03:18,015 -Toto? -Oh... 55 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:21,902 Now we're talking. Where would we be without Toto. 56 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,110 Do they wanna do the dignity thing in Switzerland? 57 00:03:25,195 --> 00:03:28,525 Well I haven't looked into it but I do know they do it in Switzerland. 58 00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:30,092 But they may do it in Germany, 59 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,530 'Cause you see I don't want to go 60 00:03:31,617 --> 00:03:33,447 and die in dignity if I don't have to. 61 00:03:33,515 --> 00:03:34,815 -No. -You know what I mean? 62 00:03:34,879 --> 00:03:36,709 I don't want to say, "Yes, okay..." 63 00:03:36,743 --> 00:03:38,613 [both] "I'm going to go and die." 64 00:03:38,674 --> 00:03:40,374 And then the doctors suddenly say, 65 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,041 -"Actually, ooh... Whoops." -Ooh... 66 00:03:42,102 --> 00:03:44,302 -You know, you weren't that bad. -You've turned the corner, yes. 67 00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:45,825 -You know what I mean? -Yes. 68 00:03:45,896 --> 00:03:47,566 -I couldn't bear that. -No. 69 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:52,460 -Whereas, you know, maybe in Dubai, it's not so final. -No. 70 00:03:52,519 --> 00:03:54,519 [Video call ringing] 71 00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:56,913 -Richard, I can't talk right now... -No I need to talk to you. 72 00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:59,080 -I need to... I need to... -I'll call you when I get back... 73 00:03:59,143 --> 00:04:01,413 The best man on the whole world. 74 00:04:01,439 --> 00:04:03,539 -Now, Richard... -Werner, now is not the time... 75 00:04:03,602 --> 00:04:06,142 It does me much pain to say you this now 76 00:04:06,199 --> 00:04:08,409 and I know for you this is very tragic... 77 00:04:08,429 --> 00:04:10,129 -It's not the time. -Karen and me, 78 00:04:10,192 --> 00:04:12,992 -we have a massive relation to each other. -No, you don't. 79 00:04:13,055 --> 00:04:15,755 You know we are very much in love in each other. 80 00:04:15,817 --> 00:04:17,847 -You are not in love with each other, Werner. -No, we are. 81 00:04:17,881 --> 00:04:19,611 -I know this is hard. -It's not hard, 82 00:04:19,678 --> 00:04:21,648 -it's not just true. -No... 83 00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,405 I know you feel like this. 84 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,312 -Can I, can we just talk? -[Karen] It's very busy here, darling. 85 00:04:25,369 --> 00:04:27,879 -At the moment, it's quite stressful. -Yeah, it's very... 86 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,840 Busy with the business of loving each other. 87 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,895 -Werner, can I say something to you? This is... -Yeah. 88 00:04:32,925 --> 00:04:34,725 -...unbelievably... -Yeah... 89 00:04:34,823 --> 00:04:37,123 -...inappropriate. It is... -I know it's very sad for you. 90 00:04:37,219 --> 00:04:39,419 -I don't phone your wife... -It's very, very sad, 91 00:04:39,482 --> 00:04:41,682 -and say, "Hey, I pumped a massive log into my pants!" -I know, listen I get a text. 92 00:04:41,744 --> 00:04:44,584 -Yeah, fine, I don't phone your wife and say... -[Mobile phone beeps] 93 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,410 -Shit. Fuck me. -I'd suck the teats of a pig! 94 00:04:46,504 --> 00:04:48,674 In my fucking own shoes. 95 00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:51,961 What is wrong with him? 96 00:04:51,996 --> 00:04:53,526 Something happened, I don't know what it was about. 97 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,193 Okay, listen, Karen. 98 00:04:55,291 --> 00:04:56,991 -I know you don't have long. I need to tell you... -I... 99 00:04:57,022 --> 00:04:58,692 I didn't go through with it. The vasectomy, I didn't do it. 100 00:04:58,752 --> 00:05:00,822 -I'm sorry. I'm saying sorry... -Oh, for goodness' sake... 101 00:05:00,916 --> 00:05:02,546 The one thing I needed you to do. 102 00:05:02,613 --> 00:05:04,513 I know, I know. I waxed everything 103 00:05:04,577 --> 00:05:06,407 I was gonna do it, have a look at that. 104 00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:07,971 I mean I... 105 00:05:08,804 --> 00:05:10,434 Oh... Oh... Oh... 106 00:05:10,468 --> 00:05:12,338 That is something I will never unsee 107 00:05:12,398 --> 00:05:14,098 -I'm so sorry. -Look... 108 00:05:14,196 --> 00:05:16,466 When I get home we'll rebook the appointment and we'll go together. 109 00:05:16,492 --> 00:05:19,162 All right? Maybe it wasn't a good idea to... 110 00:05:19,222 --> 00:05:21,292 Excuse me, what are you doing? 111 00:05:21,384 --> 00:05:23,184 [Richard] Who's that? [Karen] That's mine. That's my laptop. 112 00:05:23,249 --> 00:05:24,519 [Richard] Hey, hey, hey, put that down! 113 00:05:24,613 --> 00:05:26,273 -Put that down, please. -Put that down. Hello... 114 00:05:26,311 --> 00:05:28,011 -What are you... -Hey... What? 115 00:05:29,406 --> 00:05:33,746 [boy] "The church of scientology." 116 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:36,336 -You're gonna join that? -I think so. 117 00:05:36,429 --> 00:05:38,669 -Get the fuck out. -Ah... Hmm.. 118 00:05:38,726 --> 00:05:40,266 [Both laughing] 119 00:05:41,554 --> 00:05:43,724 -Let's get some other suggestions. -Uh.. Join... 120 00:05:44,983 --> 00:05:46,683 The Army. 121 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,987 -I mean like... -Have a look. 122 00:05:49,077 --> 00:05:50,377 Yeah, let's do it. 123 00:05:51,207 --> 00:05:53,167 [Mobile phone beeping] 124 00:06:02,389 --> 00:06:05,419 [Video call ringing] 125 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:08,222 Richard, Hi. [Exhales] 126 00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:09,818 How are you today? 127 00:06:09,846 --> 00:06:11,286 [Stammers] Yeah, not, not, not, not terribly well. 128 00:06:11,376 --> 00:06:15,006 -Oh. -I found a message on Izzy's phone, 129 00:06:15,071 --> 00:06:16,601 um, from someone, saying, 130 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,768 -"I lick you forever." -Oh, no. 131 00:06:18,832 --> 00:06:20,602 And I don't know if it was, "I like you forever," 132 00:06:20,662 --> 00:06:23,022 -or it was actually just misspelled. -Oh, Nathan, I'm so sorry 133 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,091 -to hear that. -And it's probably just like slang... 134 00:06:25,122 --> 00:06:26,682 That is, what a... 135 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,320 -It is awful, isn't it? -What a... 136 00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:30,220 -What a... -I thought maybe I was overreacting. 137 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:33,250 No. You are not overreacting at all. That sounds pretty damning to me. 138 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,250 What I can see, though, is a person who is incredibly anxious. 139 00:06:36,305 --> 00:06:37,975 If you are feeling like this, 140 00:06:38,036 --> 00:06:41,006 then it's a good chance that there is a manipulation going on, 141 00:06:41,098 --> 00:06:42,668 an emotional manipulation. 142 00:06:42,729 --> 00:06:45,529 -Do you think she wanted me to see that message? -Well... 143 00:06:45,592 --> 00:06:47,492 On some level, possibly, yeah. 144 00:06:47,555 --> 00:06:50,085 But you met... You met her. She is very sweet. 145 00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:51,820 I don't know her from a hole in the road, 146 00:06:51,915 --> 00:06:55,415 but she struck me, I have to be honest, as a little manipulative, 147 00:06:55,510 --> 00:06:57,610 a little scheming, a little controlling. 148 00:06:57,639 --> 00:07:01,009 And, I think, the time has come maybe, to try... 149 00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:02,863 to try, 150 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:06,075 life apart from this woman. 151 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,093 You cry, if you wanna cry, you cry. 152 00:07:09,188 --> 00:07:11,628 -I've been such a fool. -I know, you have. 153 00:07:13,315 --> 00:07:16,185 -Why would she do this? -Because she's so young. 154 00:07:16,245 --> 00:07:18,045 -She's so young. -My God, she's young. 155 00:07:18,108 --> 00:07:21,308 -She is so young. -Disgustingly, wrongly young. 156 00:07:21,404 --> 00:07:23,134 -What shall I do? -You have to end it. 157 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,144 -I can't. I can't. -I know. 158 00:07:25,197 --> 00:07:27,907 -Just write a text. You don't even have to say it. -I can't write a text. 159 00:07:27,927 --> 00:07:31,567 Let me help you to be free of it. 160 00:07:31,622 --> 00:07:32,692 -Okay. -Okay? 161 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,523 Pick up your phone. Pick up your phone. 162 00:07:34,551 --> 00:07:37,081 Okay. Go to text messages. 163 00:07:37,146 --> 00:07:39,886 Click on Izzy, and this is what you are going to say. 164 00:07:40,608 --> 00:07:41,978 "It's over..." 165 00:07:43,270 --> 00:07:46,410 Do it. "It's over, I'm sorry. 166 00:07:47,897 --> 00:07:50,637 "We can't see each other again. 167 00:07:50,726 --> 00:07:52,086 -"Ever." -[Crying] Oh... 168 00:07:52,156 --> 00:07:54,596 -Send it, send it, send it... -[Groaning] 169 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,920 -Send it, send it, send it. -[Crying] Argh! 170 00:07:56,983 --> 00:07:59,613 -It's sent, it's sent. -Good, good, good. 171 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,646 It's sent. 172 00:08:02,841 --> 00:08:04,211 [Izzy screams] 173 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,800 -[Shrieks] -[Door slams] 174 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,504 [Chuckles] that worked. 175 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,600 [Video call ringing] 176 00:08:14,657 --> 00:08:16,487 -Ryan. -Hi, Richard. How you doing? 177 00:08:16,587 --> 00:08:18,687 Yeah, great. Listen, I've just had my house valued, 178 00:08:18,717 --> 00:08:20,847 and it's worth a lot more than I thought it was originally. 179 00:08:20,913 --> 00:08:23,853 -And what I love you to do is remortgage for me. -Ah, why? 180 00:08:23,909 --> 00:08:27,109 Because I need to do some things with the money. 181 00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:28,967 Your wife is on the mortgage, isn't she? 182 00:08:29,068 --> 00:08:30,878 Yeah, well we own the house together. 183 00:08:30,932 --> 00:08:32,772 -Um, so we are gonna need... -Yeah. 184 00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:34,662 ...her permission as well. 185 00:08:34,726 --> 00:08:38,156 Ryan, I don't wanna tell her because it's a surprise for her birthday. 186 00:08:39,785 --> 00:08:41,185 Do you know how to do her signature? 187 00:08:42,181 --> 00:08:43,221 Yeah. 188 00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:46,976 We could do that. 189 00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:50,905 [Pen scribbling] 190 00:08:54,995 --> 00:08:56,195 Sort of like that? 191 00:08:57,025 --> 00:08:58,465 You're a fucking genius. 192 00:08:58,556 --> 00:09:01,156 Fill out the form now, fill it out, send it off. 193 00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:02,820 -Send it off. -How old are you? 194 00:09:03,683 --> 00:09:05,543 Forty-four. How old are you? 195 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:08,653 -Oh, I see, for the form, sorry. -Forty-four. 196 00:09:08,675 --> 00:09:09,875 -Right. -Okay. 197 00:09:09,906 --> 00:09:11,846 So, next question, gender? 198 00:09:15,232 --> 00:09:18,342 -Income? -My income, or my wife's and my income? 199 00:09:18,426 --> 00:09:20,026 I need yours and I need hers 200 00:09:20,090 --> 00:09:21,730 and then I need you to add them up. 201 00:09:21,821 --> 00:09:24,521 Her's is $90,000 a year. 202 00:09:24,617 --> 00:09:26,717 And mine is $9,000 a year. 203 00:09:28,478 --> 00:09:31,448 -So, let me just get a calculator here. -[Exhales] 204 00:09:31,507 --> 00:09:32,977 Sorry, one second. 205 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,542 Nine, 206 00:09:34,569 --> 00:09:37,509 -zero, zero, zero, plus... -You're gonna add those together? 207 00:09:37,564 --> 00:09:39,904 Nine, zero, zero, zero... 208 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,970 It goes, oh sorry now I... Yeah 99, 209 00:09:43,555 --> 00:09:44,785 99,000. 210 00:09:46,651 --> 00:09:48,851 -Oh, no. -What? 211 00:09:49,513 --> 00:09:51,353 It says, um... 212 00:09:51,411 --> 00:09:54,221 If you made... If you think you've made any spelling mistakes 213 00:09:54,239 --> 00:09:58,879 or you have not used block capitals. 214 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,502 Then you have to... Have to do this again. 215 00:10:02,759 --> 00:10:04,899 [Video call ringing] 216 00:10:06,321 --> 00:10:08,091 -Hello. -Hey, man. 217 00:10:08,185 --> 00:10:09,985 -How are you? -I'm good. How are you? 218 00:10:10,049 --> 00:10:11,679 One sec, just hold on a sec. 219 00:10:14,708 --> 00:10:16,108 Ready for this? 220 00:10:16,705 --> 00:10:19,345 [Piano playing] 221 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,738 Oh, my god! 222 00:10:21,764 --> 00:10:24,704 You are... No way. 223 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,335 Dude, oh, my god. 224 00:10:27,356 --> 00:10:29,586 [Both laughing] 225 00:10:29,685 --> 00:10:32,255 [Clapping] Are you for real? 226 00:10:32,315 --> 00:10:34,385 Yo, that was tight! 227 00:10:34,411 --> 00:10:35,551 -Oh, my God. -How good was that? 228 00:10:35,577 --> 00:10:36,947 How long that take you learn? 229 00:10:36,975 --> 00:10:38,575 I knew you'd be the only person to appreciate that. 230 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,612 Yeah, I appreciate that to fuck! 231 00:10:40,702 --> 00:10:42,802 -Oh my god. [Laughing] -I have got a lot of grief of my family for play that 232 00:10:42,832 --> 00:10:44,102 -so much. -No way. Oh, my god. 233 00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:45,934 Your family need to get with it, bro. 234 00:10:45,994 --> 00:10:47,564 -That was great. -Thank you. 235 00:10:47,625 --> 00:10:51,065 -[Laughing] -Um, so tell me you know, how are things? 236 00:10:51,153 --> 00:10:53,023 Yeah, man, things are good, you know. 237 00:10:53,051 --> 00:10:54,481 I've been thinking, 238 00:10:54,581 --> 00:10:57,091 maybe it's a good idea if I find my dad. 239 00:10:58,542 --> 00:11:01,082 -That's very interesting. -I just think if I find him... 240 00:11:01,171 --> 00:11:03,471 -Mmm-hmm. -If I, I mean if I go and I say, 241 00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:04,867 -"Look, here I am." -Mmm-hmm. 242 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,300 "I'm your son." What I hope is that 243 00:11:07,329 --> 00:11:09,669 he'll be as excited as I am. 244 00:11:10,424 --> 00:11:12,054 But even if he's not, 245 00:11:12,122 --> 00:11:14,492 at least I'll know. Do you know what I mean? 246 00:11:14,518 --> 00:11:17,118 I think it's a very exciting prospect 247 00:11:17,214 --> 00:11:18,514 -You're excited by it? -Sure. 248 00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:20,374 I'm excited for you and the prospect of you 249 00:11:20,476 --> 00:11:24,086 finding your father, but do you know even where to begin, to look? 250 00:11:24,735 --> 00:11:26,375 Yeah. I know where he is. 251 00:11:27,066 --> 00:11:27,896 Wow. 252 00:11:27,965 --> 00:11:30,665 Listen, dude, like, thank you. 253 00:11:30,726 --> 00:11:32,296 -You're welcome. -Without you, 254 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,968 none of this would be happening, okay? 255 00:11:33,989 --> 00:11:35,789 All right, well, listen, good luck. 256 00:11:35,819 --> 00:11:36,989 Thank you, man. 257 00:11:37,084 --> 00:11:38,754 I love, can I just say that, I love the shirts. 258 00:11:38,815 --> 00:11:40,615 Oh, dude. Thank you very much. 259 00:11:40,711 --> 00:11:42,611 I thought you were, uh, 260 00:11:42,708 --> 00:11:45,208 sorry, it was stupid. I thought you were gonna say I love you. [Chuckles] 261 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,838 [Chuckles nervously] 262 00:11:46,936 --> 00:11:50,136 But not in a weird way, just kind of like, in a 263 00:11:50,197 --> 00:11:51,567 family kind of way, you know? 264 00:11:57,087 --> 00:11:59,087 Oh, right, I'm fine. 265 00:11:59,183 --> 00:12:00,983 I was actually, um... 266 00:12:01,048 --> 00:12:03,048 I was actually thinking of joining the Army. 267 00:12:03,078 --> 00:12:04,378 -Good idea. -Yeah. 268 00:12:04,442 --> 00:12:06,442 Grandpa Jeremy did it, I did it. 269 00:12:06,506 --> 00:12:08,676 -That's what I thought. I thought that maybe... -Family tradition. 270 00:12:08,703 --> 00:12:10,543 Yeah. Give me some advice or... 271 00:12:10,633 --> 00:12:12,933 If you think you're gonna joining the Army, you gotta tidy this room up. 272 00:12:12,963 --> 00:12:14,463 Yeah, yeah. 273 00:12:14,527 --> 00:12:17,727 This would not pass inspection, let me tell you now. 274 00:12:17,756 --> 00:12:20,086 Smells a bit spunky too, got to say. 275 00:12:20,152 --> 00:12:22,282 Mmm-hmm, yeah. 276 00:12:23,347 --> 00:12:24,687 Did you, like... 277 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,415 What kind of experience did you have in the Army? 278 00:12:27,507 --> 00:12:30,147 And what was like the scariest thing that you ever saw? 279 00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:34,780 -I saw a dog shit up a wall once, which was very unusual. -You saw what? 280 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:38,937 An explosion went off, a roadside explosion and a dog just shat... 281 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:41,930 -[Chuckles] That's... -Up a wall... 282 00:12:41,986 --> 00:12:44,956 -Unusual? -That can't be the scariest thing. 283 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,454 -Like that... -Just... 284 00:12:46,478 --> 00:12:49,448 Two days ago, I lost a buddy. 285 00:12:50,939 --> 00:12:53,249 An explosion happened and... 286 00:12:53,268 --> 00:12:54,668 He bled out in front of me. 287 00:12:56,197 --> 00:12:57,667 I mean, I tried to stuff what was there 288 00:12:57,695 --> 00:12:59,665 -into the wound, but... -Yeah. 289 00:12:59,692 --> 00:13:01,622 It wasn't stopping for anything. 290 00:13:01,689 --> 00:13:05,329 [Inhales] And he cried like a baby, I slapped him. 291 00:13:05,949 --> 00:13:07,849 And... 292 00:13:07,914 --> 00:13:10,514 "Pull yourself together," but he couldn't because he... 293 00:13:10,543 --> 00:13:12,573 He was almost in two separate parts. 294 00:13:13,871 --> 00:13:14,941 Yeah. 295 00:13:14,969 --> 00:13:17,539 [Video call ringing] 296 00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:19,702 -Richard. -Ya, Hello, Neil. Hi, hi... 297 00:13:19,762 --> 00:13:21,332 -Did a bit of thinking. -Oh, yeah? 298 00:13:21,359 --> 00:13:23,159 Yeah, I think I've realised 299 00:13:23,256 --> 00:13:25,396 what the real issue is here. 300 00:13:25,452 --> 00:13:28,522 -Okay. -And that is that I've told you 301 00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,283 about what I did. 302 00:13:30,345 --> 00:13:34,185 Oh... You don't need to worry, cause this is, these are confidential. 303 00:13:34,206 --> 00:13:38,376 That just might be, but that information still exists in your head. 304 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,540 -That's where it's... -It's just that you can see my problem, can't you? 305 00:13:41,596 --> 00:13:44,666 -Well... -I've got to get that out of your head. 306 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:47,988 I mean there's only one way I can think of to do that. 307 00:13:48,053 --> 00:13:49,893 -It's gone. -It's not. 308 00:13:49,983 --> 00:13:51,343 -What's not? -It's still in there. 309 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:54,013 It's not... Look you told me, yes, you told me. 310 00:13:54,076 --> 00:13:56,676 And, yes, I know and I will never reveal it. 311 00:13:56,773 --> 00:13:58,443 That's the first thing you need to remember. 312 00:13:58,503 --> 00:14:00,733 I'm just sorry. 313 00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:03,443 -That's understandable. -Sorry for your kids, really. 314 00:14:03,496 --> 00:14:05,196 -No, Neil... -I'm sorry, mate. 315 00:14:05,259 --> 00:14:07,059 Neil, you don't need to feel that way. 316 00:14:07,124 --> 00:14:09,524 What you've done is you opened up and now you feeling vulnerable. 317 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:11,620 -Do you know what? -I know, I know. Look, I can see 318 00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:12,783 this is difficult for you. 319 00:14:12,881 --> 00:14:14,751 It's difficult for all of us, Neil. 320 00:14:14,845 --> 00:14:16,915 Shit happens, don't it? 321 00:14:16,942 --> 00:14:18,312 -So... -No, no, wait, wait... 322 00:14:18,339 --> 00:14:20,779 No wait, wait, wait, Neil. No, wait, please... 323 00:14:20,803 --> 00:14:22,343 -See you later. -Neil, no, wait... 324 00:14:23,765 --> 00:14:24,965 Neil! 325 00:14:26,361 --> 00:14:27,421 Neil! 326 00:14:28,392 --> 00:14:29,962 -Pete, I need a gun. -What? 327 00:14:29,989 --> 00:14:31,589 -I need a gun. -Why? 328 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,590 I'm worried, he is gonna find me and come and get me. 329 00:14:33,617 --> 00:14:34,917 -Neil? -Yes. 330 00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:37,212 -Shh... -We need to get onto... 331 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,677 -The dark web. -What's the dark web? 332 00:14:40,773 --> 00:14:42,173 Shh... 333 00:14:42,236 --> 00:14:43,836 You don't talk about... [Softly] The dark web. 334 00:14:43,934 --> 00:14:45,274 You're talking about it now. 335 00:14:45,366 --> 00:14:48,236 We have to think about ways of getting to the... 336 00:14:48,261 --> 00:14:50,231 We have to start off with innocent things. 337 00:14:50,258 --> 00:14:53,068 Get on the web looking for staplers or cushions or something. 338 00:14:53,087 --> 00:14:55,017 If you go on there looking for those things, 339 00:14:55,084 --> 00:14:57,724 you can find certain codes that lead you through pages 340 00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,513 -and that will get you onto the other side. -What are you talking about? 341 00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:03,009 Think about something like, I don't know... 342 00:15:03,072 --> 00:15:05,202 Antique cups, jubilee mugs. 343 00:15:05,269 --> 00:15:07,839 I don't know something that you want look for on the... 344 00:15:08,564 --> 00:15:09,904 All right, jubilee mugs. 345 00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:12,699 Antique jubilee mugs from 1977. 346 00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:14,158 [Tapping keys] 347 00:15:14,256 --> 00:15:16,996 -Bring up images. -[Typing] Yes. 348 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:20,014 Is there one with the Queen upside down? 349 00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:23,750 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah! 350 00:15:23,774 --> 00:15:25,444 Right, okay, click on that image. 351 00:15:25,538 --> 00:15:26,978 -Right. -Careful. 352 00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:29,603 -It says good condition, $4.99. -Okay, what else? 353 00:15:29,632 --> 00:15:31,792 The seller's got a 96% rating. 354 00:15:31,829 --> 00:15:33,459 -Double click on that. -[Mouse clicks] 355 00:15:33,559 --> 00:15:35,129 They are in Orpington. 356 00:15:35,191 --> 00:15:37,021 -We're getting there. -Where are we getting? 357 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:41,030 -It's a gateway, like Bishop's Stortford, they're gateways. -What, to Kent? 358 00:15:41,047 --> 00:15:44,447 To the dark web. Will you please stop making me say it all the time? 359 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:48,213 -Is the town name in highlights? -Yeah. 360 00:15:48,271 --> 00:15:50,071 -Click on it. -[Mouse clicks] 361 00:15:50,169 --> 00:15:52,909 -What comes up? -The Wikipedia page for Orpington. 362 00:15:52,996 --> 00:15:54,696 -Go to maps. -Yes. 363 00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:56,137 Find a war memorial. 364 00:15:56,225 --> 00:16:00,825 We're looking for something like Terry Godington or... 365 00:16:00,885 --> 00:16:02,915 -Louie Cypher. -[Bangs table] 366 00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:05,983 You don't know what you are doing, do you? 367 00:16:06,078 --> 00:16:08,748 Just find a name that looks religiously suspicious. 368 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,540 -Okay, I found a name. -What does it say? 369 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,770 -Arthur Bishop. -Might work. 370 00:16:12,866 --> 00:16:15,336 -Right. -Anything? 371 00:16:15,363 --> 00:16:19,033 -He's from Orpington. -Oh, my God, really? 372 00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:22,135 -Okay, send me the link. -[Typing] 373 00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:26,152 This is dangerous stuff, Richard. 374 00:16:26,214 --> 00:16:28,444 What, we might end up with a mug we don't want. 375 00:16:28,543 --> 00:16:30,183 -[Video call ringing] -Fucking hell. Fucking hell! 376 00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:32,778 -Oh, Hello. -Richard, I need you to help me. 377 00:16:32,836 --> 00:16:34,406 -Fiona. -I feel very, very, very anxious. 378 00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:37,774 -Right. -You may have seen we had a bit of a press debacle. 379 00:16:37,829 --> 00:16:39,039 I am very squeezed in, Richard. 380 00:16:39,061 --> 00:16:41,061 -I got to manage the PR on this. -Yeah. 381 00:16:41,092 --> 00:16:43,632 And Nigel is drinking all the time, he's drunk and I'm having to drag him up. 382 00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:45,453 And that's why we're doing the photo session again, Richard 383 00:16:45,484 --> 00:16:47,214 -because he couldn't stand up properly. -Yeah. 384 00:16:47,282 --> 00:16:48,782 -Robin's gone to Kuta Beach! -Kuta beach? 385 00:16:48,845 --> 00:16:50,845 -Kuta beach in Bali. -Nigel's lover? 386 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,316 -Right. -Spending all of our money. 387 00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:53,710 -Oh, your money? -Sitting in little beach bars, 388 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,505 probably sucking of all kinds of natives. 389 00:16:55,602 --> 00:16:57,802 -What I wanna say is... -This is the moment when you give me the help, 390 00:16:57,865 --> 00:17:00,135 the advice, the what I am fucking paying you for. 391 00:17:00,163 --> 00:17:02,073 This is it, Pitt! 392 00:17:02,126 --> 00:17:03,866 I understand that you're angry. 393 00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:05,962 I understand that you're going through a very difficult time 394 00:17:05,987 --> 00:17:09,357 And it's absolutely valid that you're feeling the way you are feeling. 395 00:17:09,381 --> 00:17:12,881 Yes, well that's all well and good is it? But what are you going to do about it? 396 00:17:12,943 --> 00:17:15,073 It's okay to be vulnerable, Fiona. 397 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:16,870 No feeling lasts forever. 398 00:17:16,937 --> 00:17:19,407 And it's human to feel vulnerable, 399 00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:21,433 -It's human to feel weak. -Yes. 400 00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:24,200 It's human to feel out of control. 401 00:17:24,226 --> 00:17:25,526 It's okay. 402 00:17:25,590 --> 00:17:27,530 -Gonna... Gonna face the Press. -Yeah. 403 00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:29,517 -I'm gonna say you... -Yeah. 404 00:17:29,584 --> 00:17:30,754 -...see me... -Yeah. 405 00:17:30,815 --> 00:17:32,885 -Fiona fucking Bellingham. -Yeah. 406 00:17:32,979 --> 00:17:35,379 -I'm gonna to Nigel, "Fuck off." -Right. 407 00:17:35,442 --> 00:17:39,082 I'm gonna come out, I'm gonna say, "Do you want a piece of me? 408 00:17:39,169 --> 00:17:41,069 "You peasants!" 409 00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:43,266 -Yeah. -You're a fucking genius, Richard. 410 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,433 I have to admit, I had my doubts when I first saw you in your shitty little house. 411 00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:50,292 But you've resurrected a supreme Fiona Bellingham from the ashes. 412 00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:51,726 I am your phoenix, Richard. 413 00:17:51,818 --> 00:17:53,448 Well done, you have done very well. 414 00:17:53,514 --> 00:17:55,244 That's very kind of you. I don't wanna talk about me, though. 415 00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:57,682 What I would like to talk about, money for the sessions. 416 00:17:57,708 --> 00:18:01,718 Still doesn't seem to have arrived in my bank account. 417 00:18:01,735 --> 00:18:03,535 -Fucking Robin. -Robin's taken... 418 00:18:03,632 --> 00:18:05,402 And he is spending it like nobody's business but... 419 00:18:05,496 --> 00:18:07,696 Do you know what? There is something more important than money, Richard, 420 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,330 -and that's honour. -Yeah. 421 00:18:09,358 --> 00:18:12,198 And I think we can join hands, can we not, across the divide 422 00:18:12,286 --> 00:18:14,216 and say we stand shoulder to shoulder, 423 00:18:14,316 --> 00:18:17,586 that you've helped someone far superior to you in every way, 424 00:18:17,611 --> 00:18:18,781 and it just goes to show you 425 00:18:18,810 --> 00:18:20,610 that people like you can do it. 426 00:18:27,463 --> 00:18:29,433 -Richard. -Yes. 427 00:18:29,527 --> 00:18:32,667 Richard, I don't know if genius is too strong a word, but I'm gonna use it. 428 00:18:32,756 --> 00:18:36,696 -You are a genius. -So everything's worked out, for the best? 429 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,713 Better than I could've ever dreamed of. 430 00:18:38,814 --> 00:18:40,684 And the more I think back on all our talks, 431 00:18:40,777 --> 00:18:43,217 you've masterminded the whole thing from day one. 432 00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:47,242 I mean you obviously understood that Izzy would come by to collect stuff, 433 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,740 and I would end up talking to her about my emotional debt 434 00:18:50,828 --> 00:18:52,728 -about all these experiences. -Right. 435 00:18:52,825 --> 00:18:55,925 And as soon as I started talking to her about these things. 436 00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,960 It was like this veil lifted from her eyes. 437 00:18:58,050 --> 00:18:59,780 And we looked at each other and we thought, 438 00:18:59,882 --> 00:19:01,952 not only should we not be breaking up, 439 00:19:02,044 --> 00:19:03,744 we can never be apart. 440 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,336 Of course, we can't. 441 00:19:05,373 --> 00:19:08,573 I feel, only now, divesting myself of this 442 00:19:08,968 --> 00:19:10,368 crap! 443 00:19:10,465 --> 00:19:13,175 -And now I am free, and I am a man. -Okay. 444 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:16,164 I am gonna to do something now that I don't do with many 445 00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:18,260 -of my clients. -Please. 446 00:19:18,353 --> 00:19:21,023 I would like to give you, 447 00:19:21,115 --> 00:19:22,755 an old-fashioned, 448 00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:25,413 one-on-one, in person, 449 00:19:25,442 --> 00:19:27,642 therapy session. Are you up for that? 450 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,405 -Absolutely. -Great. 451 00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:35,762 What I suggest, uh, is you come here tomorrow at 2:30... 452 00:19:35,827 --> 00:19:39,667 -[Laughing] -And let's talk face to face. 453 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,591 -Richard I can't tell... -I want to introduce you 454 00:19:43,681 --> 00:19:45,621 to a couple of concepts. 455 00:19:45,678 --> 00:19:47,438 [Video call ringing] 456 00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,648 -Werner. -Hello, Richard. 457 00:19:50,705 --> 00:19:54,875 -Are you all right? -Yeah, I am, to you, a very thankful person, 458 00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:56,771 that you answer me. 459 00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:59,261 -Where are you? -[Sighs] 460 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,694 So I am by the police, 461 00:20:01,754 --> 00:20:03,254 in, in Zurich. 462 00:20:03,318 --> 00:20:05,148 -Why? -Gene Flicks... 463 00:20:05,215 --> 00:20:07,285 You know, the deal with his... 464 00:20:07,345 --> 00:20:09,175 Yeah, is gone in the trousers. 465 00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:11,276 There was a journalist. 466 00:20:11,339 --> 00:20:13,579 He make very difficult questions. 467 00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:14,833 "What is going on? 468 00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:18,574 "What makes Werner Lienhard with all this money?" 469 00:20:18,596 --> 00:20:21,056 -Can I please tell you? -Oh... 470 00:20:21,158 --> 00:20:24,628 -Werner, is this the time for... -Maybe for me very important. 471 00:20:24,719 --> 00:20:27,389 All this time I see that Karen, 472 00:20:27,449 --> 00:20:32,259 -she want only to make fun with my genital... -Yeah... 473 00:20:32,307 --> 00:20:34,477 -Is not true. Is not true. -There's been a lot of that. 474 00:20:34,505 --> 00:20:37,475 -She doesn't wanna have fun with your genitals. -No, she is... 475 00:20:38,298 --> 00:20:40,698 The most fantastish dame. 476 00:20:40,729 --> 00:20:43,269 And you are very lucky man. 477 00:20:43,824 --> 00:20:44,954 Are you okay? 478 00:20:45,055 --> 00:20:48,055 Well I've watched many prison movies. 479 00:20:48,117 --> 00:20:51,257 For example, you know Shawshake Redemptions, 480 00:20:51,312 --> 00:20:54,752 and so I don't, I don't have a shower. 481 00:20:54,774 --> 00:20:56,144 The sisters... 482 00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:59,171 They are one after another upside your asshole. 483 00:20:59,266 --> 00:21:01,366 -All right, I'll... -I love you? 484 00:21:04,326 --> 00:21:06,166 -Richard. Richard. -Abs. 485 00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:07,990 -Where are you? -[Gasping] I'm in a hospital. 486 00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:09,790 -What? Are you all right? -Karen's collapsed. 487 00:21:09,818 --> 00:21:12,948 -What? -It's okay, it's okay, it's fine. It's fine, it's okay. 488 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,140 -It's just nervous exhaustion. -Where is she? 489 00:21:15,209 --> 00:21:16,609 She is just here, look. 490 00:21:16,641 --> 00:21:19,041 -Put her on. -No, she can't. She's passed out. 491 00:21:19,136 --> 00:21:21,436 Look, she's fine. Look, I just need to talk to you for a minute. 492 00:21:21,468 --> 00:21:23,168 What do you... What do you mean she's passed out? 493 00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,370 Richard, please just focus on me for a minute. 494 00:21:25,428 --> 00:21:27,388 No, I will not focus on you, Abs. 495 00:21:27,459 --> 00:21:29,859 -[Crying] I don't know who I am. -Abs. 496 00:21:29,954 --> 00:21:32,824 Pass me to a doctor. 497 00:21:32,850 --> 00:21:34,310 Where are you, Abs? 498 00:21:34,414 --> 00:21:36,724 Freezenburg Municipal Hospital in Zurich. 499 00:21:36,810 --> 00:21:39,640 -Freezenburg... -Please, I just need some advice. 500 00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:41,903 -Please. I can't deal all this. -Abs, Abs, Abs listen to me. 501 00:21:41,936 --> 00:21:44,496 -You have to, you have to look after my wife... -[Crying] I can't, I can't... 502 00:21:44,598 --> 00:21:45,868 [Call drops] 503 00:21:46,695 --> 00:21:49,095 [Video call ringing] 504 00:21:49,125 --> 00:21:50,895 Hello, listen, I am in big trouble. 505 00:21:50,923 --> 00:21:52,393 I've come to the end of my lollipop, Richard 506 00:21:52,487 --> 00:21:55,157 -What? -Yes, I'm done with analysis therapy... 507 00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:57,192 -No... -Psychodynamics, everything. 508 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,580 -No you're not. -I am done because I don't really believe... 509 00:22:02,538 --> 00:22:04,168 Any of this does any good. 510 00:22:04,203 --> 00:22:05,833 I'm here to tell you that is not true, 511 00:22:05,933 --> 00:22:07,973 because you have achieved an enormous amount with me. 512 00:22:07,997 --> 00:22:12,207 I have a much better relationship with my anus and with every anus out there. 513 00:22:12,257 --> 00:22:13,997 I want you to be... 514 00:22:14,020 --> 00:22:16,720 -released. -I reject the release. I reject it. 515 00:22:16,783 --> 00:22:18,983 I'm not having it. 516 00:22:19,013 --> 00:22:22,043 The thing is, I haven't been strictly honest with you. 517 00:22:22,075 --> 00:22:25,035 I have a serious problem. A man... 518 00:22:25,104 --> 00:22:28,874 A violent man, who I owe a huge amount of money to... 519 00:22:28,898 --> 00:22:32,068 I've lied to my wife, I've lied to you, I've lied to my family, I've lied to... 520 00:22:32,127 --> 00:22:34,497 -Shall I be more honest with you? -Yes. 521 00:22:34,590 --> 00:22:36,790 You bore the shit out of me. 522 00:22:36,853 --> 00:22:39,823 -What? -You bore me shitless. 523 00:22:39,881 --> 00:22:44,111 You wallow in an oceanic shitfest of failure. 524 00:22:44,209 --> 00:22:46,349 -So? -That's your default mode, 525 00:22:46,372 --> 00:22:50,112 to be the victim, floating around in an ocean of your own shit. 526 00:22:50,134 --> 00:22:53,204 I don't need the shit. I want the shit, 527 00:22:53,295 --> 00:22:55,365 because I thought you wanted my shit. 528 00:22:55,391 --> 00:22:58,891 You liked the shit and you listened to my shit. 529 00:22:58,952 --> 00:23:01,122 I am signing off, Richard, 530 00:23:01,183 --> 00:23:03,353 with a quote, as is my wont. 531 00:23:04,976 --> 00:23:05,986 You 532 00:23:07,307 --> 00:23:08,577 are the horror. 533 00:23:09,637 --> 00:23:11,267 The horror! 534 00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:13,806 The horror! 535 00:23:13,856 --> 00:23:18,406 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42118

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