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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:04,508
-Are you in a relationship
at the moment? -Yeah, she's one of my students.
2
00:00:04,564 --> 00:00:06,004
-What was her name again?
-Izzy.
3
00:00:06,061 --> 00:00:07,631
-Did you set that up?
-Yeah, I did.
4
00:00:07,726 --> 00:00:08,826
Any resolution, mate?
5
00:00:08,924 --> 00:00:10,094
This is the situation.
6
00:00:10,155 --> 00:00:12,085
My mother, she's moving in here.
7
00:00:12,152 --> 00:00:13,922
-Ricky.
-Mom.
8
00:00:13,984 --> 00:00:15,754
-RICHARD: You should
get a vasectomy. -Okay.
9
00:00:15,814 --> 00:00:16,944
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
10
00:00:17,012 --> 00:00:18,582
You get one, pretending
you're me.
11
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,403
Do you not know why
I'm calling you?
12
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,070
There's absolutely no question
that you're getting your money.
13
00:00:23,170 --> 00:00:24,240
-Cry.
-No.
14
00:00:24,268 --> 00:00:25,878
-Cry.
-No.
15
00:00:25,932 --> 00:00:27,172
Good.
16
00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:29,170
-We are carrying on with this?
-I can't.
17
00:00:29,227 --> 00:00:32,057
Turn your back on me,
I'll fucking kill you mate. Do you get the message?
18
00:00:42,674 --> 00:00:45,204
[CAR TRUNK OPENS]
19
00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:51,263
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
20
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:57,722
[DOG YELPING]
21
00:01:02,378 --> 00:01:04,618
[DOG SQUEALS]
22
00:01:17,954 --> 00:01:20,064
Hello?
23
00:01:20,085 --> 00:01:22,255
[CAR TRUNK OPENS]
24
00:01:25,444 --> 00:01:27,414
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
25
00:01:29,604 --> 00:01:32,044
Look. Dad of the year.
26
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,300
-Ah, Mr. Pitt!
-Oh, uh, yes. Yeah.
27
00:01:34,331 --> 00:01:38,801
Listen, there is a dead dog in
the car. Could you bring it in and make sure nobody sees it?
28
00:01:38,857 --> 00:01:40,627
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
29
00:01:40,688 --> 00:01:42,458
Ugh. I feel sick.
30
00:01:42,518 --> 00:01:44,118
Yeah, not as sick as me.
31
00:01:44,149 --> 00:01:46,159
Nevermind,
nuts cut off later.
32
00:01:46,247 --> 00:01:48,547
Richard, don't
make this about you.
33
00:01:49,475 --> 00:01:50,545
Well that bit is.
34
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,380
I've got to fire eighty-six
people today.
35
00:01:52,470 --> 00:01:54,600
-Yeah.
-So, I'm not looking forward to my day either.
36
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,600
Good Morning, Crayon.
37
00:01:56,697 --> 00:01:59,467
-Hello, it's uh, Karen.
-What?
38
00:01:59,527 --> 00:02:01,897
-Karen.
-Oh, whatever you like.
39
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,386
Nice to see you.
40
00:02:03,421 --> 00:02:06,131
Nice morning. How long are you
planning on staying?
41
00:02:06,182 --> 00:02:09,422
Uh, that's entirely
up to little Richard.
42
00:02:10,411 --> 00:02:12,251
Fantastic.
43
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:15,471
-Remember Ricky's birthday.
-Yes. Ricky's Birthday. Of course, I'll see you later.
44
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:19,679
I can see her panty line. You
should tell her.
45
00:02:19,762 --> 00:02:23,592
-You alright?
-Darling, Richard.
46
00:02:23,657 --> 00:02:25,897
My special boy.
47
00:02:25,953 --> 00:02:28,263
Look at you.
48
00:02:28,284 --> 00:02:30,784
I'm very grateful to you.
49
00:02:32,011 --> 00:02:34,141
I like to be near you, you see?
50
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,511
Oh, me too.
51
00:02:35,606 --> 00:02:37,206
The only thing is,
52
00:02:37,271 --> 00:02:42,341
I wish you wouldn't speak
so badly about me to your father.
53
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,329
-What?
-Because you see,
54
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,590
it means he doesn't speak to me.
55
00:02:46,689 --> 00:02:48,559
And, I then think to myself,
56
00:02:48,653 --> 00:02:53,923
maybe it was because you
wouldn't take the breast when you were a baby.
57
00:02:53,978 --> 00:02:56,778
And I think that's what put
your father off me.
58
00:02:56,807 --> 00:02:59,977
Really and truly,
it is your fault.
59
00:03:04,363 --> 00:03:06,333
RICHARD: Oh, yes.
60
00:03:06,393 --> 00:03:08,403
Oh, I'll bring you some
breakfast up.
61
00:03:08,424 --> 00:03:13,094
-No, I'll come back down again.
-No, I'll bring it up. I'll bring it up.
62
00:03:16,079 --> 00:03:17,849
Sorry about that.
63
00:03:17,876 --> 00:03:20,486
Can you pump her full of drugs
and knock her out for the rest of the day?
64
00:03:20,506 --> 00:03:21,876
Yes.
65
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,243
-Yes?
-Yeah.
66
00:03:25,299 --> 00:03:27,299
-Okay.
-Good.
67
00:03:27,396 --> 00:03:29,696
I have one question.
When am I going to get paid?
68
00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:30,925
You'll get paid soon.
69
00:03:30,991 --> 00:03:32,531
And the money you borrowed for
the...
70
00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,758
Shopping, I'll pay you that
back soon. Yeah, don't worry.
71
00:03:40,509 --> 00:03:42,479
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
72
00:03:42,539 --> 00:03:44,109
-[VIDEO CALL BEEPS]
-Hello.
73
00:03:44,171 --> 00:03:46,131
-Richard, hi. Thank you for
seeing me again. -Not at all.
74
00:03:46,168 --> 00:03:48,568
I've been thinking a lot about
what we were talking about last time.
75
00:03:48,664 --> 00:03:50,964
Oh, did you split up with her?
76
00:03:50,994 --> 00:03:53,194
No, quite the opposite actually.
77
00:03:53,224 --> 00:03:56,964
But I feel that, to have a real
conversation, you'd probably need a bit more background.
78
00:03:56,985 --> 00:03:59,955
When I was a little younger,
I spent six months in Monrovia,
79
00:04:00,014 --> 00:04:02,944
in Liberia, working at the
Liberian Clown Institute.
80
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:06,479
Okay, if I could just stop you
for one second. That's all terrific. Um,
81
00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:08,840
I mean I have been doing
a little bit of research on my own, I have to say,
82
00:04:08,935 --> 00:04:11,875
and I thought maybe, I'm the
prude here.
83
00:04:11,963 --> 00:04:14,993
Maybe there is nothing wrong
with a much older man,
84
00:04:15,058 --> 00:04:19,098
-sleeping with his student.
-IZZY: Have you seen my headphones?
85
00:04:19,152 --> 00:04:21,692
Yeah, I think, they are not
on the couch.
86
00:04:21,781 --> 00:04:24,481
Sorry, Izzy, I'm just actually,
um,
87
00:04:24,511 --> 00:04:27,471
This is, uh, Izzy.
88
00:04:27,506 --> 00:04:31,606
Izzy, this is Richard. This is
my online therapist, I see sometimes.
89
00:04:31,666 --> 00:04:33,136
You're seeing a therapist?
90
00:04:33,164 --> 00:04:36,104
Yeah, we just talk
about general issues.
91
00:04:36,127 --> 00:04:40,367
Nice to meet you and nice to put
a face to all those stories I've been hearing.
92
00:04:40,387 --> 00:04:44,157
-Nice to meet you.
-Richard, hold on for one second?
93
00:04:44,182 --> 00:04:45,782
They're just behind the couch.
94
00:04:47,377 --> 00:04:50,547
Izzy, how nice to talk to you.
95
00:04:50,605 --> 00:04:53,645
-The fuck are you doing?
-What the fuck are you doing?
96
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:57,003
-Are they not in the bedroom?
-Um, I don't know.
97
00:04:57,029 --> 00:05:01,369
-Izzy?
-Yeah, I think they might be in the bathroom.
98
00:05:01,422 --> 00:05:04,662
-Bathroom?
-Yeah.
99
00:05:04,717 --> 00:05:06,757
-What the fuck are you doing?
-Don't make me come down there.
100
00:05:06,814 --> 00:05:09,454
-Are you trying to pop into
my fucking life. -You get out of there.
101
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,887
-You've been talking to him.
-He's your teacher. Think about that.
102
00:05:11,941 --> 00:05:13,411
-It's immoral.
-Me? What the fuck is your problem?
103
00:05:13,471 --> 00:05:15,701
It's not my problem.
104
00:05:15,801 --> 00:05:18,511
-They weren't in the bathroom.
-Of course, they were.
105
00:05:18,596 --> 00:05:22,726
Silly me. It was really lovely
to meet you, Richard.
106
00:05:22,825 --> 00:05:25,035
-Lovely to meet you too.
Is it Izzy? -Yes.
107
00:05:25,087 --> 00:05:27,627
-Thank you. Yes.
-Lovely to meet you, young Izzy.
108
00:05:27,683 --> 00:05:29,623
Thank you for all of your input.
And I'm sure
109
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,150
that soon enough with your
fantastic work and,
110
00:05:32,243 --> 00:05:35,043
my support, Nathan will be in a
really healthy place.
111
00:05:35,106 --> 00:05:36,636
Yeah, sure, and Nathan,
112
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,370
Yeah, there we go.
113
00:05:40,398 --> 00:05:43,198
Nathan, all your secrets are
safe with me.
114
00:05:43,294 --> 00:05:47,104
-Nice to meet you.
-Bye.
115
00:05:49,285 --> 00:05:50,485
[MOBILE RINGING]
116
00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:53,579
Hey, how you doing? You okay?
117
00:05:53,611 --> 00:05:57,241
As you can imagine, it's a laugh
a minute, we are thrilled,
118
00:05:57,339 --> 00:05:59,879
to have this very special guest
staying with us.
119
00:05:59,969 --> 00:06:03,339
Things are really hard with
my book. I'm feeling really...
120
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,227
-Our Mother.
-...stressed about it.
121
00:06:05,327 --> 00:06:08,967
'Cause I kinda knew what I was
doing before and now I'm completely lost.
122
00:06:09,022 --> 00:06:11,822
Can I just stop you there?
'Cause I've just realized something really important.
123
00:06:11,852 --> 00:06:13,592
I don't care about your book.
124
00:06:13,649 --> 00:06:16,709
I just realized that, because,
our mother has not been very well.
125
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,480
So, perhaps, we could talk
about her.
126
00:06:18,507 --> 00:06:20,337
-I just asked you how she was.
-RICHARD: No, you didn't.
127
00:06:20,438 --> 00:06:23,708
I'm sorry, all I heard was,
a book, my book, my book, my big hairy book.
128
00:06:23,734 --> 00:06:27,664
-I just wanted to say that I'm
finding it hard and... -Are you, are you?
129
00:06:27,728 --> 00:06:29,898
[MOCKS] Is it hard?
130
00:06:29,925 --> 00:06:32,225
Wee, wee, wee.
131
00:06:32,287 --> 00:06:35,927
-Is this what you say to people
who... -[MOCKS]
132
00:06:35,949 --> 00:06:38,449
You're kind of like
a psychopath. Do you know that?
133
00:06:38,511 --> 00:06:41,011
You're kind of an emotional
psychopath.
134
00:06:41,108 --> 00:06:43,008
You do that to me,
it's really...
135
00:06:43,105 --> 00:06:45,275
I just don't want this,
136
00:06:45,334 --> 00:06:47,974
to be thing that sabotages
my novel.
137
00:06:47,998 --> 00:06:51,538
'Cause I don't want this whole
thing with mum and you... -Oh, Mum?
138
00:06:51,593 --> 00:06:55,263
Yes. Mum. I knew there was
something going on in our family.
139
00:06:55,352 --> 00:06:57,022
-Yeah, okay, bye now.
-[VIDEO CALL BEEPS]
140
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,860
-Dad!
-What?
141
00:06:58,947 --> 00:07:03,017
-Those tickets have gone like
half the price they were. -Let's buy...
142
00:07:03,041 --> 00:07:07,811
-Yeah, buy them now.
-I'll tell you what, why don't you have a party?
143
00:07:07,868 --> 00:07:10,238
-Oh God.
-Have a party, it'll be more fun.
144
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:13,634
-You could bring a bottle.
It'll be a lot more cheaper. -[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
145
00:07:13,693 --> 00:07:16,663
I've got a call coming through.
Off you go.
146
00:07:17,853 --> 00:07:20,653
-Go on.
-I don't want a party.
147
00:07:21,847 --> 00:07:23,557
So ungrateful. Quick!
148
00:07:23,645 --> 00:07:26,045
[RINGING CONTINUES]
149
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:28,140
[VIDEO CALL BEEPS]
150
00:07:28,237 --> 00:07:29,707
-Hi, Dad.
-Morning, Richard.
151
00:07:29,736 --> 00:07:31,936
-How was your weekend?
-Really really good.
152
00:07:31,965 --> 00:07:33,565
I feel about ten years younger.
153
00:07:33,663 --> 00:07:35,863
I'm astonished that I
haven't done it before.
154
00:07:35,926 --> 00:07:39,726
-What? South of France?
-No, had the kind of weekend that I've just had.
155
00:07:39,787 --> 00:07:40,917
Lively, was it?
156
00:07:40,985 --> 00:07:43,485
It was very lively, indeed.
157
00:07:43,548 --> 00:07:45,518
Did you go and see any...
158
00:07:45,578 --> 00:07:49,418
-Museums or...
-No. When two people want to get to know each other well,
159
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,210
I don't think they do it
by walking around museums.
160
00:07:52,301 --> 00:07:54,371
What's she like?
-I first met her...
161
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,802
She was a jurer in the chambers
I was in at the time.
162
00:07:57,827 --> 00:08:02,267
-You know, circumstances
happen and... -She approached the bench.
163
00:08:02,287 --> 00:08:05,697
-Yes, you could say that.
-How old is she, your girlfriend?
164
00:08:05,782 --> 00:08:07,212
Similar age to you actually.
165
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:10,319
-I'm forty-four. Is she...
-Bit younger.
166
00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:12,068
Wow. Good work.
167
00:08:12,172 --> 00:08:14,512
-Good work?
-I mean, you know, if you can get it.
168
00:08:14,602 --> 00:08:16,432
Well done. Congratulations.
169
00:08:16,499 --> 00:08:17,699
-Hmm.
-Hurray.
170
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:20,700
I'm of the opinion that none
of these things matter.
171
00:08:20,726 --> 00:08:22,296
Really? Is that your philosophy?
172
00:08:22,324 --> 00:08:25,464
We, in the judiciary, contrary
to what you might think,
173
00:08:25,519 --> 00:08:29,889
it is incumbent on us to be
quite liberal in our thinking.
174
00:08:29,946 --> 00:08:32,986
Well, we've all seen those films
like Scandal and stuff.
175
00:08:33,007 --> 00:08:36,977
You lot are always at swingers
parties and, I don't know, lying on the floor
176
00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,411
in a nappy
pretending to be a baby while,
177
00:08:39,498 --> 00:08:43,398
some hooker breastfeeds you.
I mean isn't that what all judges are up to?
178
00:08:43,492 --> 00:08:45,192
In a word, no.
179
00:08:45,289 --> 00:08:48,959
One of them will spend their
weekends being shat on by dwarves.
180
00:08:49,017 --> 00:08:51,857
-What?
-One of them will.
181
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:54,016
[INDISTINCT YELLING]
182
00:08:54,775 --> 00:08:57,885
Oye. Come here.
183
00:08:58,736 --> 00:09:00,246
Hurry up!
184
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,066
Crying out loud.
185
00:09:03,562 --> 00:09:05,462
Noise.
186
00:09:05,493 --> 00:09:07,223
You two ever eat at home?
187
00:09:07,291 --> 00:09:08,691
You know, your home?
188
00:09:08,721 --> 00:09:10,631
Ricky, when's your birthday?
189
00:09:10,685 --> 00:09:12,285
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
190
00:09:12,316 --> 00:09:14,316
-Tomorrow.
-Tomorrow!
191
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,916
I've gotta sort something out
for you, otherwise your mum will kill me.
192
00:09:18,007 --> 00:09:19,707
-And because I love you.
-[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
193
00:09:19,738 --> 00:09:21,538
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
194
00:09:21,635 --> 00:09:25,575
Hello, so on the vasectomy
front, I have convinced my friend, Pete,
195
00:09:25,629 --> 00:09:27,769
to go in my place.
196
00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:31,503
And he is going to go this
afternoon. And I know I should probably feel bad about that,
197
00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:36,594
but, I can't because I'm just
so relieved, that I've managed to dodge this bullet.
198
00:09:37,545 --> 00:09:38,815
Mmm-hmm.
199
00:09:38,909 --> 00:09:40,609
That's it? Mmm-hmm?
200
00:09:40,641 --> 00:09:42,641
You've won. You've won
the vasectomy,
201
00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:46,147
and you've won against
your father. Which is a great victory for you.
202
00:09:46,199 --> 00:09:47,839
Be grateful for that.
203
00:09:48,562 --> 00:09:50,232
How are you?
204
00:09:50,327 --> 00:09:51,467
You look shaken.
205
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:52,658
May I say?
206
00:09:52,756 --> 00:09:54,556
I've got no control
over anything.
207
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,780
-It's all chaos.
-What?
208
00:09:56,849 --> 00:09:58,649
How long have you felt
like this?
209
00:09:58,747 --> 00:10:00,457
This is my issue, not yours.
210
00:10:00,477 --> 00:10:03,077
-It's become mine...
-Let's talk about your vasectomy.
211
00:10:03,174 --> 00:10:05,074
I don't want to talk about my
vasectomy.
212
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:08,505
I wanna talk about you and why
you're floating away from me.
213
00:10:08,532 --> 00:10:11,102
Think of me as a piece of shit
just floating away.
214
00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:13,506
On a shit tide.
In an ocean of shit.
215
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:17,025
-Really?
-And I'm just one more stool floating away.
216
00:10:17,087 --> 00:10:19,387
-Floating?
-I'm sunk hook, line, and sinker.
217
00:10:19,483 --> 00:10:21,483
Okay, we need
to talk about this.
218
00:10:21,546 --> 00:10:23,516
I don't need you and you don't
need me.
219
00:10:23,543 --> 00:10:26,343
What happened to revere
the rectum? That was your gift to me.
220
00:10:26,373 --> 00:10:31,773
Bob Dylan said this, "Take care
of your memories, because you cannot relive them".
221
00:10:32,596 --> 00:10:33,796
Right.
222
00:10:35,824 --> 00:10:37,194
[VIDEO CALL BEEPS]
223
00:10:38,587 --> 00:10:40,057
RICHARD: [WHISPERS] Jose?
224
00:10:41,416 --> 00:10:42,956
Jose?
225
00:10:50,071 --> 00:10:51,431
Is everything okay?
226
00:10:51,468 --> 00:10:53,668
Yes. Everything is quite fine.
227
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,633
She's just a little bit windy.
228
00:10:57,659 --> 00:10:59,099
Where's the dog?
229
00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:01,024
I left it with Liam.
230
00:11:01,087 --> 00:11:02,487
What?
231
00:11:02,519 --> 00:11:04,789
I left it with Liam.
232
00:11:13,568 --> 00:11:15,938
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
233
00:11:16,032 --> 00:11:17,672
-Hi.
-Hi.
234
00:11:17,729 --> 00:11:19,569
-Oh my god, you look great.
-So did you.
235
00:11:19,659 --> 00:11:21,159
Oh, thank you.
236
00:11:21,191 --> 00:11:23,901
-So, if we could pick up where
we left off. -Yeah.
237
00:11:23,953 --> 00:11:26,523
Your parents committed suicide
together. -Mmm-hmm.
238
00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:32,023
Your sister is in a coma after
being attacked by an army in the Congo.
239
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,378
-You're eight months pregnant.
-Sure am.
240
00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:38,974
And the father of your child's,
you are...
241
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,761
not in contact with any more.
-No.
242
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:45,227
-That's quite a list.
-Oh, yeah, and my dog has just gone missing too.
243
00:11:45,255 --> 00:11:47,025
And your dog's gone missing?
244
00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:49,893
-Rolf?
-Rolf's just probably gone for a little walkies.
245
00:11:49,982 --> 00:11:52,082
Would you remind me what
Rolf looks like please?
246
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:55,315
Oh, yeah. Aww, so sweet of you.
247
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:57,276
Um, it's here actually.
248
00:11:59,699 --> 00:12:01,499
[WHISPERS] Oh my God!
249
00:12:01,531 --> 00:12:05,471
It's okay, don't worry. My God,
that is so sweet of you.
250
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,855
It's okay. Oh my God.
251
00:12:07,922 --> 00:12:10,322
You're just the sweetest,
aren't you? What a lucky wife you have.
252
00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:12,558
Could we talk about your
dead parents?
253
00:12:12,580 --> 00:12:15,380
Um, yeah.
254
00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:18,346
-I was at work and I got a call,
-Yeah. Mmm.
255
00:12:18,372 --> 00:12:20,702
-from my sister.
-How did she give the news?
256
00:12:20,769 --> 00:12:24,869
Well, there's this sort of
history with us where she would say things to me like,
257
00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:26,800
"Mum and Dad are dead."
258
00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:30,397
And I'll be like, "Oh my God,
they're dead, they're dead, oh my God, oh my God."
259
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,188
And she'll be like "Gotcha!".
260
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:35,248
And I'll be like, "Oh, okay.
261
00:12:35,347 --> 00:12:37,617
Great that they're okay.
That's a good joke."
262
00:12:37,644 --> 00:12:41,944
So, when she did phone
and say about mum and dad, I thought it was a joke.
263
00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:45,334
It was only when she and I went
to the morgue, up to that point, I thought...
264
00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:48,269
we were going blah...
[CHUCKLES]
265
00:12:48,294 --> 00:12:53,604
So when I pulled the sheets up,
I was like, this is a good one.
266
00:12:53,654 --> 00:12:58,524
Um, and then there they were.
And, um,
267
00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:00,843
It was definitely them.
They were definitely dead.
268
00:13:00,909 --> 00:13:02,879
You couldn't fully distinguish
their features but,
269
00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:05,976
there were a few things my mum
had on her.
270
00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:08,838
I knew it was definitely them
and it wasn't a joke.
271
00:13:08,897 --> 00:13:11,367
That was shock number two.
272
00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:15,561
Okay. Here's the address.
273
00:13:15,654 --> 00:13:18,594
Just leave it outside the house.
Make sure nobody sees you.
274
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,876
Okay?
275
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,010
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
276
00:13:28,768 --> 00:13:32,668
Hello, Neil.
Is that a "drink" drink?
277
00:13:32,762 --> 00:13:34,262
I'm just going back over...
278
00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:37,025
all that stuff...
279
00:13:37,055 --> 00:13:39,085
-Yeah.
-All those things
280
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:42,426
-we talked about that are done.
-Yeah.
281
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,247
I think I'm gonna puke.
282
00:13:44,278 --> 00:13:45,978
Just thinking about my life.
283
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,412
I'm gonna puke...
284
00:13:47,474 --> 00:13:48,644
emotion.
285
00:13:48,672 --> 00:13:52,742
Like being in a deep fat fryer.
My brain's chips.
286
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,072
What it is, you're
processing a lot of stuff that you buried.
287
00:13:56,094 --> 00:13:58,434
There's a thing that's worse.
288
00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:03,325
-Yeah, I killed someone.
I killed someone. -You what?
289
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,076
Good.
290
00:14:07,144 --> 00:14:08,914
-Good?
-Good that you could say it.
291
00:14:08,942 --> 00:14:10,282
Not good that you killed
someone.
292
00:14:10,339 --> 00:14:12,549
Pushed the bloke off
a balcony in the city.
293
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:15,170
Yeah, he died.
Bloke was pissing me off.
294
00:14:15,198 --> 00:14:18,268
I know. How do you feel
about that now?
295
00:14:18,327 --> 00:14:19,997
That's the thing. I don't care.
296
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,325
-At all?
-Nope.
297
00:14:21,390 --> 00:14:24,230
-Any feelings one way or
the other? -No.
298
00:14:24,718 --> 00:14:25,978
Joy?
299
00:14:26,016 --> 00:14:27,816
Kinda got away with it.
300
00:14:27,847 --> 00:14:29,017
[VIDEO CALL BEEPS]
301
00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:32,478
-You know the needle thing?
-Yeah.
302
00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:33,613
I've been thinking...
303
00:14:33,638 --> 00:14:35,608
I reckon you probably need
to tool up.
304
00:14:35,635 --> 00:14:38,635
Don't wanna worry you,
could get heavy. Just protect yourself.
305
00:14:38,664 --> 00:14:42,034
That's ridiculous. Group
therapy, let's make it about bereavement.
306
00:14:42,058 --> 00:14:44,258
A lot of people go through that,
it could be really good money spent on.
307
00:14:44,289 --> 00:14:47,719
And masturbation, a lot
of people go through without masturbating too much.
308
00:14:47,817 --> 00:14:49,387
Make it about that.
309
00:14:49,448 --> 00:14:52,048
-Is this about your vasectomy?
-What?
310
00:14:52,077 --> 00:14:54,947
You're doing a really good
thing. You're taking control of your body...
311
00:14:55,039 --> 00:14:57,549
Yeah, I'm thinking I don't
maybe need to do.
312
00:14:57,635 --> 00:15:00,105
And you lied to a doctor.
313
00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:03,175
And if you're caught, you'll go
to prison.
314
00:15:06,456 --> 00:15:08,956
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
315
00:15:12,348 --> 00:15:17,348
I've heard from a little birdie,
that you have some return clients.
316
00:15:17,373 --> 00:15:19,243
Yes, yes. I have.
317
00:15:19,337 --> 00:15:25,007
I'm very flattered, really. The
people enjoy my therapy and so they come back...
318
00:15:25,094 --> 00:15:27,164
For an unfinished business?
319
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,996
-To drink at that well again.
-That's great news.
320
00:15:29,022 --> 00:15:32,192
-Yes it is, thank you.
-Honestly, I can put it in your report.
321
00:15:32,218 --> 00:15:34,078
-How's it going?
-I'm killing it.
322
00:15:34,181 --> 00:15:37,051
I'm literally, you know,
destroying it. I'm murdering it.
323
00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:39,446
Interesting choice of verbs.
324
00:15:39,507 --> 00:15:42,317
-Yeah, well, you know...
-Do you think you're fucking it up?
325
00:15:42,403 --> 00:15:45,263
-No I'm crushing it.
-[CHUCKLES] I was just joking.
326
00:15:45,299 --> 00:15:48,069
-Okay.
-But yeah, I think keep going with those clients.
327
00:15:48,094 --> 00:15:50,494
Great, I'm just looking
at my diary...
328
00:15:50,524 --> 00:15:53,124
Oh, I've got someone phoning
from America, actually.
329
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,120
He phones in the middle of
a nightmare, that's how keen he is.
330
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:58,060
Why's he calling someone in the
middle of the night, a British therapist?
331
00:15:58,112 --> 00:16:00,952
Maybe, my reputation has
travelled the globe.
332
00:16:00,975 --> 00:16:02,185
No.
333
00:16:02,273 --> 00:16:04,633
-Oh.
-Don't be ridiculous.
334
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:07,302
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
335
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:09,066
-[BEEPS]
-Hello.
336
00:16:09,129 --> 00:16:10,159
Hey!
337
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,402
Jackson, how are you?
338
00:16:11,493 --> 00:16:12,623
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good.
339
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:14,363
Tell me what brings you
to therapy?
340
00:16:14,388 --> 00:16:16,128
Other than my mom, um,
341
00:16:16,186 --> 00:16:18,786
-And so we're like... Yeah.
-Just the two of you?
342
00:16:18,814 --> 00:16:20,984
-So, it's been like that for...
-All my life.
343
00:16:21,011 --> 00:16:24,151
-So, did you ever know
your father? -Um, I...
344
00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:27,140
Never knew him.
345
00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:29,772
How do you feel about
not knowing your father?
346
00:16:29,832 --> 00:16:33,172
-Have you seen that
documentary, Twinsters ? - Twinsters...
347
00:16:33,227 --> 00:16:34,457
What's it about?
348
00:16:34,491 --> 00:16:37,261
So, basically, there are these
two identical twins.
349
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,417
-They've never met.
-Right. Yeah.
350
00:16:39,451 --> 00:16:43,921
-But they always knew that they
were both missing something. -Do you have that
351
00:16:44,012 --> 00:16:46,512
fantasy there's a twin out
there somewhere who's...
352
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:49,447
Not my twin, my dad.
353
00:16:49,503 --> 00:16:54,143
Yeah. You know, I used to have
a fantasy as well that my parents weren't my real parents.
354
00:16:54,229 --> 00:16:58,799
And that Paul Michael Glaser
from Starsky & Hutch was really my dad.
355
00:16:58,889 --> 00:17:01,659
My god, dude, I love
Starsky & Hutch .
356
00:17:01,717 --> 00:17:04,047
-Isn't it the best show ever?
-Are you for real?
357
00:17:04,114 --> 00:17:07,414
-I love that show.
-Oh my God, it was so good.
358
00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:11,219
- Starsky & Hutch was ninety-two
episodes of perfection. -Oh my God!
359
00:17:11,304 --> 00:17:15,034
-Do you know what, David Soul
lives in London! -No way!
360
00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:17,941
Everytime I go out shopping, I
think, maybe today I'm gonna see him.
361
00:17:17,994 --> 00:17:20,034
I just have this image that he's
gonna look across me and go,
362
00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:22,024
-"You're, you're the one I've
been missing" -You!
363
00:17:22,121 --> 00:17:25,891
-It's me and you, let's go.
-Let's go together, fight crimes.
364
00:17:25,982 --> 00:17:27,622
You're the one I've been
missing, dude. You!
365
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,086
That's exactly what I would say.
366
00:17:29,177 --> 00:17:30,837
No, I'm saying that to you.
That's what I'm saying.
367
00:17:30,942 --> 00:17:33,052
Oh, right. Well, thank you
very much.
368
00:17:33,071 --> 00:17:37,441
There could be Starsky, and you
could be mini-Starsky, and I could be like mini-mini-Starsky.
369
00:17:37,464 --> 00:17:39,904
-I've got curly dark hair
as well. -You do.
370
00:17:39,994 --> 00:17:44,934
-Different vibe, but...
-This is gonna sound weird but, we haven't met before, have we?
371
00:17:45,021 --> 00:17:48,521
-Me and you?
-You know you meet someone, sometimes you think...
372
00:17:48,615 --> 00:17:50,955
You know, there's something
about you so familiar...
373
00:17:53,508 --> 00:17:57,108
-Yo, someone's just come in
to the store, um... -Oh, okay...
374
00:17:57,135 --> 00:18:01,305
-I gotta go. I'm so sorry.
-Yeah, sure. All right!
375
00:18:01,362 --> 00:18:04,332
Waka-taka, waka-taka, waka-taka.
376
00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:07,367
-I'm so sorry, I gotta go. I'll
see you later. -That's all right, Jackson.
377
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:11,587
Okay, Dexy, play Starsky & Hutch
Theme two.
378
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:16,790
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
379
00:18:19,535 --> 00:18:21,435
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
380
00:18:21,532 --> 00:18:25,002
[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
381
00:18:25,027 --> 00:18:26,667
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
382
00:18:26,759 --> 00:18:28,289
[MOANS]
383
00:18:28,389 --> 00:18:31,029
[VIDEO CALL BEEPS]
384
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:35,083
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
385
00:18:35,112 --> 00:18:36,982
FYI, Richard,
386
00:18:37,043 --> 00:18:40,313
Mum's settled happily
in Portugal, I've sent her two thousand pounds.
387
00:18:40,404 --> 00:18:42,244
-No. No.
-Yes. Yes.
388
00:18:42,301 --> 00:18:45,241
She's upstairs, I'm looking
at her now, on my baby monitor.
389
00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:46,967
For fuck's sake.
390
00:18:47,061 --> 00:18:49,331
Get off, I need to speak to her.
391
00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:53,264
[TEXT MESSAGE BEEP]
392
00:18:57,179 --> 00:19:01,109
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
393
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,573
[WHISPERS] My God!
394
00:19:04,335 --> 00:19:08,135
[NEIL ON PHONE]
Don't fucking ignore me,you bastard.
395
00:19:08,197 --> 00:19:10,897
Answer my calls!
396
00:19:12,423 --> 00:19:14,423
PETE: Oh my God,what're you gonna do?
397
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,190
RICHARD: We've gotta makethis place more secure!
398
00:19:16,218 --> 00:19:18,488
Go and put the security cameras
up. Quickly!
399
00:19:33,325 --> 00:19:35,295
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
400
00:19:35,822 --> 00:19:37,182
John, John!
401
00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:39,153
Hi mummy, not John, John. John.
402
00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:41,090
-What?
-What's going on, Mum?
403
00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:44,914
Are you grifting me? Are you
riding me? I don't care about the money.
404
00:19:44,942 --> 00:19:47,142
-The money doesn't mean
anything. -Okay.
405
00:19:47,238 --> 00:19:48,638
So, it was a little white lie.
406
00:19:48,703 --> 00:19:51,573
You don't understand, this is
much more serious.
407
00:19:51,665 --> 00:19:53,965
You know I've been to the
doctors, you know I haven't been very well.
408
00:19:53,995 --> 00:19:55,195
Don't say it mum.
409
00:19:55,292 --> 00:19:57,562
Actually, I haven't told you all
the truth.
410
00:19:57,590 --> 00:20:01,320
-Oh God, Mum, it's terminal.
-Wait, John.
411
00:20:01,383 --> 00:20:03,923
I need you to, I need you to be
strong.
412
00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:07,320
-Okay, I'm here, Mum.
-Okay, I just want you to come and see me.
413
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,904
Before it's too late.
414
00:20:08,972 --> 00:20:12,272
-I will.
-I don't know how long I've got, nobody else knows.
415
00:20:12,367 --> 00:20:15,437
I haven't told anybody else.
Stop it.
416
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:17,630
Now, listen, you've gotta
be strong for me.
417
00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:20,790
-I've got it, Mum. I've got
a contact in Dubai. -Dubai?
418
00:20:20,855 --> 00:20:23,895
They've got a beautiful hospice
shaped like a palm tree.
419
00:20:23,984 --> 00:20:25,654
That sounds lovely, Darling.
But...
420
00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:29,322
I do happen to know that it's
a dry country.
421
00:20:29,408 --> 00:20:34,078
Only in public. In private, you
can drink till your back teeth float.
422
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:35,642
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
423
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,500
Hello?
424
00:20:37,530 --> 00:20:41,930
Yeah, Richard. Hello, you're
super beautiful and I'm so sorry that I derange you,
425
00:20:42,023 --> 00:20:43,463
but Karen, she's by you
in the house?
426
00:20:43,521 --> 00:20:45,891
No, no, she's not here, she's
at the London office.
427
00:20:45,917 --> 00:20:48,247
-I think she's firing people
today. -No, she's not.
428
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:50,343
Oh, she's here. She is here.
429
00:20:50,445 --> 00:20:55,155
What? Where do you stay? Huh?
430
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,070
-Where do you stay?
-Hi, Bennett.
431
00:20:57,134 --> 00:20:58,774
You must come back now
in Zurich.
432
00:20:58,832 --> 00:21:01,772
In Zurich? I just came back from
the office in London.
433
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:08,004
We have regular sized problems
but soon it is almost gigantish.
434
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,188
Okay? So please come back
in Zurich now.
435
00:21:10,215 --> 00:21:13,285
I just came back now. I've got
a hospital appointment.
436
00:21:13,377 --> 00:21:15,747
-I can come to Zurich
first thing in the morning. -What?
437
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,437
You come tomorrow?
438
00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:21,977
All of the world's jumps
with his asshole in my face.
439
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:27,230
If you do not want my asshole
jumps in your face, you come back now.
440
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,627
-Okay then.
-Okay, thank you.
441
00:21:30,685 --> 00:21:33,425
-Okay, Bennett, we'll sort
that out. -That's very nice, thank you.
442
00:21:33,481 --> 00:21:34,941
Okay, bye now.
443
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:38,054
Oh, God. I'm so sorry that
I can't be there for your vasectomy.
444
00:21:38,106 --> 00:21:40,546
-Are you gonna be okay?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
445
00:21:40,636 --> 00:21:42,036
You're so brave.
446
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,530
What did I do to deserve you?
447
00:21:43,632 --> 00:21:45,672
-I don't know, you better go.
-[CHUCKLES]
448
00:21:45,728 --> 00:21:47,688
Can you tell Izzy I'm sorry I
didn't get to speak to her, I miss her,
449
00:21:47,759 --> 00:21:49,799
and wish Ricky Happy Birthday
for me, okay?
450
00:21:49,889 --> 00:21:51,619
-Okay.
-And, thank you.
451
00:21:51,719 --> 00:21:53,519
You're amazing.
452
00:21:54,515 --> 00:21:57,585
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
453
00:21:58,576 --> 00:22:00,106
Hello?
454
00:22:00,173 --> 00:22:01,943
[SOBS HEAVILY]
Um, hi.
455
00:22:02,004 --> 00:22:04,874
[CRIES]
Sorry, sorry, um,
456
00:22:04,966 --> 00:22:07,066
I'm really sorry, I mean, um,
457
00:22:07,163 --> 00:22:10,533
My front door had a dead dog.
458
00:22:10,591 --> 00:22:13,491
-There's a dead dog on...
-Oh, no!
459
00:22:13,587 --> 00:22:14,887
In front of my house.
460
00:22:14,984 --> 00:22:17,354
-Your dog!
-No, he's not even my dog.
461
00:22:17,415 --> 00:22:20,685
-He's not your dog?
-He's just a dead dog. Why would somebody do that to me?
462
00:22:20,776 --> 00:22:24,876
What kind of person would
do that? What are they trying to do to me?
463
00:22:24,904 --> 00:22:30,704
-Who would do that?
-He's just a dead dog on my front door step.
464
00:22:30,728 --> 00:22:35,728
-But you're having a
breakthrough here, emotionally. -I don't like it.
465
00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:40,054
-But it's good you're feeling
this way. -I don't like it.
466
00:22:40,114 --> 00:22:42,714
-It's right to feel...
-Is it okay?
467
00:22:42,743 --> 00:22:46,383
It's appropriate, you're doing
the right thing and I'll speak to you soon.
468
00:22:46,472 --> 00:22:47,742
Okay.
469
00:22:49,268 --> 00:22:51,178
[VIDEO CALL RINGING]
470
00:22:51,198 --> 00:22:55,098
JOSE: Karen would never know you
didn't have a vasectomy.
471
00:22:55,159 --> 00:22:57,159
Whoa, that was a good one.
472
00:22:57,189 --> 00:23:00,729
Turn around, I need to get into
the back.
473
00:23:00,783 --> 00:23:02,953
[VIDEO CALL RINGING CONTINUES]
474
00:23:05,377 --> 00:23:06,847
-Hello!
-Richard!
475
00:23:06,941 --> 00:23:09,811
-Pete!
-I'm sorry, I can't go through with it.
476
00:23:09,837 --> 00:23:11,707
[YELLS] What?
477
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,240
I can see your asshole
perfectly now.
478
00:23:17,702 --> 00:23:19,302
[CRIES IN PAIN]
479
00:23:19,303 --> 00:23:21,573
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
480
00:23:21,623 --> 00:23:26,173
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