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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,298 Promo. Let's do a promo. 2 00:00:04,364 --> 00:00:06,164 Welcome to your, er, first therapy session. 3 00:00:06,195 --> 00:00:08,195 When I was about 15 I had sex with my mum. 4 00:00:08,292 --> 00:00:10,992 Why haven't you got a vasectomy? I mean how many times have we been faffing around? 5 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:12,430 Please get a vasectomy. 6 00:00:12,518 --> 00:00:14,418 This is the situation. Mum needs somewhere to live. 7 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,915 RICHARD: So what are we going to do? 8 00:00:15,979 --> 00:00:17,139 Why doesn't she just come and live with Richard... 9 00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:18,850 -Yup. -...for now. 10 00:00:18,907 --> 00:00:20,377 -It's Issy. She's got relationship problems again... -Oh. 11 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,237 Tell Mum I can't get involved in Issy's dramas. 12 00:00:22,268 --> 00:00:23,568 Have you ever cared for anyone before? 13 00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,272 Yes, I care about a lot of people. 14 00:00:25,363 --> 00:00:27,263 -You've got the job! -Great! 15 00:00:28,025 --> 00:00:29,435 PETE: Action! 16 00:00:30,221 --> 00:00:32,251 Hello, I'm Richard Pitt. 17 00:00:32,284 --> 00:00:34,614 -I'm a qualified therapist specializing in a wide... -JOSE: [On video call] Mr Pitt? 18 00:00:34,681 --> 00:00:35,681 Mr Pitt? 19 00:00:35,779 --> 00:00:37,009 Where is that coming from? Oh. 20 00:00:37,076 --> 00:00:38,376 -JOSE: [Screaming] Mr Pitt? -Oh. Yes? 21 00:00:38,442 --> 00:00:40,312 -Mr Pitt? -RICHARD: Yes, Jose? 22 00:00:40,338 --> 00:00:42,138 -Yeah, he can't hear you. -He can't hear me. 23 00:00:42,235 --> 00:00:44,005 -Erm, press that button... -Right. 24 00:00:44,065 --> 00:00:45,335 -Or else he won't... -I've got it. 25 00:00:45,430 --> 00:00:47,330 -Are you having a baby? -No! No, no, it's, er... 26 00:00:47,427 --> 00:00:49,157 My mum's moving in and we need this to keep an eye on her... 27 00:00:49,256 --> 00:00:50,696 PETE: Your mum's moving in here? RICHARD: Yes. 28 00:00:50,721 --> 00:00:52,261 -Does Karen know? -No. 29 00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:54,558 -[Scoffs] -It's not helpful, Pete! It's not helpful. 30 00:00:54,647 --> 00:00:57,647 Yeah, Jose? Jose? I think he's turned it off. 31 00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:59,579 Mr Pitt, I'm trying to talk to you 32 00:00:59,639 --> 00:01:01,379 -but you have to press the button, okay? -Yeah, I know that now. 33 00:01:01,469 --> 00:01:02,769 -Yeah. -JOSE: Okay. I'm going to see if it 34 00:01:02,866 --> 00:01:04,606 works through the house 35 00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:07,557 -So just let me know if you can hear me, okay? -Okay, all right. 36 00:01:07,593 --> 00:01:10,423 -JOSE: [Shouting] Mr Pitt, can you hear me? -Well, of course I can hear you! 37 00:01:10,521 --> 00:01:11,731 -You're right there! -[Buzzer sounding] 38 00:01:11,785 --> 00:01:13,225 PETE: We're okay. Good. 39 00:01:13,316 --> 00:01:15,746 -Hello? -Hi, it's Paulie Jones, estate agent. 40 00:01:15,812 --> 00:01:17,942 I'm here for the valuation. 41 00:01:19,938 --> 00:01:21,838 Hi! Could you not be an estate agent? 42 00:01:21,934 --> 00:01:24,264 I don't want them to know. Can you say you're an interior designer? 43 00:01:24,331 --> 00:01:25,631 -Yeah. -Er, yeah, all right. [laughs] 44 00:01:25,662 --> 00:01:27,562 -And as quick as you can? -Yeah. 45 00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:29,465 -Just need to get some videos, some photos. -JOSE: Mr Pitt! Can you hear me? 46 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,596 -[Mobile ringing] -I am on the first floor! 47 00:01:31,652 --> 00:01:33,052 -Er... -JOSE: Mr Pitt! 48 00:01:33,082 --> 00:01:34,312 -Hey, man! -Just one second, I'm... 49 00:01:34,414 --> 00:01:36,284 -PAULIE: Here we go... -Yes, I can, Jose! 50 00:01:36,311 --> 00:01:39,251 -Okay, great! -Can you stop shouting! Who are you? 51 00:01:39,306 --> 00:01:41,736 Issy? Finally, you're up! You've got to clear out of that room. 52 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,605 -RICHARD: Your grandmother's moving into it. -ABS: Who's he? 53 00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:45,465 -What's he doing? -Oh, he's not doing anything. 54 00:01:45,529 --> 00:01:47,229 -Coming through. -ISSY: Dad, are you joking? 55 00:01:47,292 --> 00:01:48,862 What do you mean that she's moving into my room? 56 00:01:48,923 --> 00:01:50,253 Mr Pitt, can you hear me? 57 00:01:50,321 --> 00:01:52,091 RICHARD: Yes, I can hear you. Ricky! 58 00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:53,480 -Get up! -ISSY: Dad! Explain to me, 59 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:55,178 -she's moving into my room? -PAULIE: Gracious, 60 00:01:55,279 --> 00:01:56,649 -with Scandinavian touches. -RICHARD: I can't explain... 61 00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:58,340 Come in here, I've got to test this baby monitor. 62 00:01:58,373 --> 00:01:59,473 -Baby monitor? What baby monitor? -ABS: Hello? 63 00:01:59,538 --> 00:02:00,808 -What? -Hello? 64 00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,503 -What do you want, Abs? -ABS: Hey, yeah... 65 00:02:02,566 --> 00:02:04,266 I was wondering what you were thinking of wearing to karaoke later. 66 00:02:04,331 --> 00:02:05,961 I was thinking we could do fancy dress. What do you think? 67 00:02:05,994 --> 00:02:07,894 -No, I don't... I've got to go! -ABS: Richard! Richard... 68 00:02:07,957 --> 00:02:10,197 Okay, you're grandmother's not very well, so she's going to move in here 69 00:02:10,288 --> 00:02:11,958 -and she is going to stay in your room... -Why... 70 00:02:12,017 --> 00:02:13,017 -Mr Pitt? -Yes! 71 00:02:13,082 --> 00:02:14,322 This is complete shit! 72 00:02:14,381 --> 00:02:15,941 Where am I supposed to stay then? 73 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,210 Well, you spend most of your time sleeping at Zahra's. 74 00:02:17,309 --> 00:02:18,709 -Stay there. -ZAHRA: Sleeping at mine? 75 00:02:18,773 --> 00:02:20,043 What is he talking about? 76 00:02:20,137 --> 00:02:21,637 Dad! 77 00:02:21,668 --> 00:02:23,438 -RICHARD: What did I say? -She hasn't been sleeping at Zahra's! 78 00:02:23,465 --> 00:02:25,135 -She's been sleeping with her tutor! -Why didn't you tell me? 79 00:02:25,196 --> 00:02:26,226 I did tell you! 80 00:02:26,261 --> 00:02:28,791 -Why are you filming this, Pete? -It works! 81 00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:30,656 Pete, turn that off! 82 00:02:30,753 --> 00:02:33,123 [theme music playing] 83 00:02:36,076 --> 00:02:37,506 -[video call beeps] -I'm here now... 84 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,944 Quick! Quick, very much quick, because I am at work. 85 00:02:40,037 --> 00:02:42,277 So, let's go, go, go. I'll kick off, shall I? 86 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:43,500 Obviously, Nigel has been 87 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:46,237 popping himself into other people's cubby holes. 88 00:02:46,293 --> 00:02:48,863 That's, obviously, the main agenda, I'm assuming, for today. 89 00:02:48,922 --> 00:02:50,152 Meaning Nigel has been... 90 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,163 Popping himself in other people's cubby holes. 91 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:53,750 I mean, you know, the thing is... 92 00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:55,480 -[can popping open] -...I'm very liberal. 93 00:02:55,544 --> 00:02:56,944 All holes are goals 94 00:02:57,042 --> 00:02:58,982 and I... I understand that. 95 00:02:59,039 --> 00:03:00,879 However, we do have our 96 00:03:00,935 --> 00:03:03,745 public image to think of and obviously, being in PR, I'm well aware that 97 00:03:03,763 --> 00:03:07,333 it's manageable but I think if you're entering so many cubby holes it's very difficult to 98 00:03:07,391 --> 00:03:10,591 cover one's trail, as it very much were. 99 00:03:10,686 --> 00:03:12,026 Fiona, can I ask what you're drinking? 100 00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:14,854 -It's just a very little gin and tonic. -Ah. 101 00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,914 Erm, alcohol in a session is very much 102 00:03:16,975 --> 00:03:18,645 -a no-no... -Well, I have the constitution of a... 103 00:03:18,738 --> 00:03:20,838 Of a small, Welsh pit pony 104 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,638 and I think I shall be fine. 105 00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:24,936 -[Inhales] -Now, shall we quickly get on with the matters in hand? 106 00:03:24,995 --> 00:03:27,865 So, the right, honourable Nigel is having an affair? 107 00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:30,960 Well, supposedly there is a front-runner. 108 00:03:31,018 --> 00:03:32,588 And the front-runner is Robin. 109 00:03:32,649 --> 00:03:34,589 -Robin? -Nigel's PA. 110 00:03:34,645 --> 00:03:36,775 A young, young man in his prime. 111 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:40,112 Vigorous, youthful, muscles like a hard paddle. 112 00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:43,273 Smooth-grained and soft to the touch. 113 00:03:43,297 --> 00:03:46,837 His thick hair, it's lustrous and shiny and 114 00:03:46,891 --> 00:03:49,061 I shouldn't wonder it smells of raspberries. 115 00:03:49,122 --> 00:03:51,862 So, you're ambivalent about Nigel sleeping with a man? 116 00:03:51,917 --> 00:03:54,257 Look, as I've said, a few drinks go down, 117 00:03:54,313 --> 00:03:56,143 the blood all engorges the penis 118 00:03:56,176 --> 00:03:59,586 and they find themselves balls deep in a cubby hole. 119 00:03:59,604 --> 00:04:01,344 Is it something to worry about? 120 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:02,567 No. 121 00:04:02,598 --> 00:04:04,768 Do we just need to manage it? Hell yes. 122 00:04:04,795 --> 00:04:07,555 And that's the worry, is it? That this will come out? 123 00:04:07,590 --> 00:04:10,420 -That he's having an affair with somebody or... -Yeah, I do see a little bit 124 00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:13,228 of management being needed in terms of 125 00:04:13,247 --> 00:04:14,817 the cubby hole situation. 126 00:04:14,911 --> 00:04:18,351 I'm quite happy to stand by a nice gate somewhere in Surrey 127 00:04:18,405 --> 00:04:19,805 and look a little bit mournful. 128 00:04:19,836 --> 00:04:22,266 It's my duty, as the spouse of a parliamentary member. 129 00:04:22,365 --> 00:04:26,875 And I think if we can contain this, I don't see there's really a problem. 130 00:04:26,958 --> 00:04:29,358 [Video call ringing] 131 00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:32,290 -[Video call beeps] -Hello! Erm, how are you? You must be Nathan. 132 00:04:32,349 --> 00:04:34,889 -Hi, Richard. -What brings you to therapy today? 133 00:04:34,978 --> 00:04:38,278 Well, I got an email for like an introductory offer, 134 00:04:38,305 --> 00:04:40,065 -I suppose? -Yeah. 135 00:04:40,102 --> 00:04:42,232 NATHAN: Well, I thought I'd follow up, just because, why not? 136 00:04:42,298 --> 00:04:44,398 RICHARD: Sure. 137 00:04:44,461 --> 00:04:46,891 Er, well, tell me a bit about yourself. What's, er... What should I know about you? 138 00:04:46,925 --> 00:04:48,625 Er, so I'm a 31-year-old. 139 00:04:48,687 --> 00:04:51,157 Er, I'm a digital media, er, lecturer. 140 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,710 I live in West London. 141 00:04:52,748 --> 00:04:54,148 -Er... -Are you in a relationship at the moment? 142 00:04:54,245 --> 00:04:56,845 I am. I'm a few months into a new... 143 00:04:56,908 --> 00:05:00,478 -Yeah, relationship, I suppose you could call it. -Yeah. Well, that's wonderful! 144 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:03,574 -Er, someone you met at work? -Er, yeah, she... She... 145 00:05:03,662 --> 00:05:05,802 To be honest, she's one of my students, actually. 146 00:05:05,893 --> 00:05:08,023 But, I mean, you said your "students", we're not talking... 147 00:05:08,122 --> 00:05:10,392 -No, oh, God no, she's 19 years old. -Oh, 19! Fine. 148 00:05:10,418 --> 00:05:13,428 -Oh, you lucky bastard! -[Cackles] 149 00:05:13,512 --> 00:05:15,842 -Nineteen. And you're 31? -Well... 150 00:05:15,942 --> 00:05:17,612 It's perfectly acceptable. 151 00:05:17,638 --> 00:05:20,678 She's an adult, and we all need to try and be open-minded. 152 00:05:20,768 --> 00:05:24,078 Exactly. So, for example, the first time I saw Issy in class 153 00:05:24,128 --> 00:05:27,398 I thought she was one of those problem kids who I can't get them to concentrate, 154 00:05:27,456 --> 00:05:29,426 and how am I going to engage with her? 155 00:05:29,453 --> 00:05:32,093 What was the... What was the name again? 156 00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:34,218 Issy... Isabelle. 157 00:05:35,409 --> 00:05:38,219 -What college was this? -Er, at Hampton College. 158 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,411 It's funny because actually, we talked about this recently. 159 00:05:40,467 --> 00:05:43,507 Teenagers, they're so experimental, and she herself... -Yeah, Nathan! 160 00:05:43,596 --> 00:05:47,036 When you just said "teenager" it did alter my perception 161 00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:49,129 of what is going on here. "Teenager"! 162 00:05:49,153 --> 00:05:50,963 -Issy is a fully-formed adult. -Yeah... 163 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,557 -And when I say "fully-formed", I mean... -She may seem fully-formed 164 00:05:53,579 --> 00:05:55,749 but she's actually 19 and 19 is young. 165 00:05:55,842 --> 00:05:59,482 I'll bet if you look back at photos of you when you were 19, you'd go, "My God! [Laughs] 166 00:05:59,535 --> 00:06:01,275 "I thought I was so old 167 00:06:01,332 --> 00:06:03,562 "but I was literally a child." 168 00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,196 You seem a little uneasy 169 00:06:05,259 --> 00:06:07,899 about the relationship, which is fine but maybe we should talk... 170 00:06:07,954 --> 00:06:09,884 -Yeah. -More about it. Do you have any other... 171 00:06:09,951 --> 00:06:11,821 -If you like, look at the website. -[stammers] 172 00:06:11,882 --> 00:06:13,252 That would be terrific. Thanks so much for calling, Nathan. 173 00:06:13,345 --> 00:06:14,945 -Have a good day. -[Video call disconnects] 174 00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:16,780 [Phone ringing] 175 00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:18,007 [Ringtone sounding] 176 00:06:19,735 --> 00:06:20,735 Shit! 177 00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:24,270 Hey, oi! Hey, hey, hey! 178 00:06:25,392 --> 00:06:26,562 Did you set that up? 179 00:06:26,623 --> 00:06:28,233 -I didn't! -Ricky! 180 00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,084 -Yeah, I did. -You did! 181 00:06:30,184 --> 00:06:31,354 Do you realise how unethical that is? 182 00:06:31,415 --> 00:06:32,685 Yeah, Dad, but I tried telling you! 183 00:06:32,713 --> 00:06:34,583 You've put me in a really difficult position. 184 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:35,874 You... You could have just come clean. 185 00:06:35,908 --> 00:06:37,308 [Imitating mockingly] 186 00:06:38,071 --> 00:06:40,071 I'll deal with it. 187 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,730 Let's hope he doesn't call again. 188 00:06:41,832 --> 00:06:43,742 -[Video call ringing] -Shut up! 189 00:06:46,024 --> 00:06:47,254 -[Video call beeps] -Hi! 190 00:06:47,322 --> 00:06:48,822 -Hi. -Is Mum there yet? 191 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,216 -No. -Okay. 192 00:06:50,283 --> 00:06:52,053 -So, when's she coming. -Later. Tonight... 193 00:06:52,114 --> 00:06:54,354 -[Mutters] -So what kind of stuff have you got to do for mum now? 194 00:06:54,444 --> 00:06:55,874 Are you... Are you kind of going to be... 195 00:06:55,941 --> 00:06:57,781 Does she... How does she go to the toilet and stuff? 196 00:06:57,838 --> 00:06:59,378 Is she, like, able to just... 197 00:06:59,468 --> 00:07:01,168 I mean, does she have to wear a nappy or anything like that? 198 00:07:01,199 --> 00:07:02,769 -She's not an invalid, she's just... -Okay. 199 00:07:02,796 --> 00:07:04,366 She's just... I've just got to keep her away from the pub. 200 00:07:04,394 --> 00:07:05,794 -Okay, well that's... -I mean, I have 201 00:07:05,891 --> 00:07:07,961 hired a carer... 202 00:07:07,988 --> 00:07:09,958 -Good. -Who is quite expensive. 203 00:07:09,984 --> 00:07:12,124 -Well, it's good. I mean, it's really good. -No, you're welcome. 204 00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:14,020 -It's really good. I've had a... -You're welcome. 205 00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:15,610 -...really productive day, just writing. -Oh, good. I'm glad you have. 206 00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:16,778 -Yeah. -I feel like I've made a really... 207 00:07:16,806 --> 00:07:17,946 A kind of big breakthrough 208 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,374 -in terms of just... -You find a pen? 209 00:07:21,465 --> 00:07:23,035 -Sorry, that was sarcastic... -Yeah. 210 00:07:23,128 --> 00:07:24,868 -And I'm glad you had a breakthrough. -Thanks. 211 00:07:24,959 --> 00:07:27,019 Er, and I've really got to get back to it, so I can't really stay 212 00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,455 talking, talking, talking for long, but, like, erm... 213 00:07:29,552 --> 00:07:31,092 Good luck, and everything. And well done. 214 00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:32,981 -Yeah. -And you know, like, 215 00:07:33,045 --> 00:07:34,785 -I mean, you know... -Okay, go back in your little Tupperware box, 216 00:07:34,843 --> 00:07:35,873 -seal up the edges... -Is that what... 217 00:07:35,907 --> 00:07:37,207 -Don't let the world in. -Yeah. 218 00:07:37,271 --> 00:07:38,641 -That's fine. -You don't know anything... 219 00:07:38,702 --> 00:07:40,602 -We won't infect your world... -...about my life. 220 00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:42,466 ...with our actual real-life issues. -And if you just need any, 221 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,196 -you know, if you ever need anyone to come... -We'll leave you 222 00:07:44,259 --> 00:07:46,329 -pristine. -...like help or babysit or anything, 223 00:07:46,423 --> 00:07:48,023 -don't call me. -I kind of knew that. 224 00:07:48,086 --> 00:07:49,816 -Okay, bye. I hate you! -I hate you too! 225 00:07:49,883 --> 00:07:51,153 -I hate you. Bye! -Bye! 226 00:07:51,249 --> 00:07:52,949 -[Video call hangs up] -[Video call ringing] 227 00:07:53,943 --> 00:07:55,143 -Hey! -[Club music playing] 228 00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:56,874 -Ah, Abs. -How are you doing, Richard? 229 00:07:56,938 --> 00:07:59,538 -What are you doing? -I'm just getting a couple extra reps ins. 230 00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:00,767 What... What'd you want? 231 00:08:00,799 --> 00:08:02,769 Congratulations on the vasectomy. 232 00:08:02,861 --> 00:08:05,461 I've booked you in for Monday afternoon. 233 00:08:05,524 --> 00:08:06,924 So Monday afternoon is V-day. 234 00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:08,888 You're... Why are you booking my vasectomy? 235 00:08:08,951 --> 00:08:12,951 At 3:00 today, you've got a phone consultation with the urologist. 236 00:08:13,011 --> 00:08:15,041 She's the best ball doctor in the business. 237 00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:17,850 It's going to be off the chain! 238 00:08:17,903 --> 00:08:19,173 Okay, dude. Peace. 239 00:08:19,235 --> 00:08:20,765 -Peace. -[Video call hangs up] 240 00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:20,861 -[Video call ringing] -[Video call beeps] 241 00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:24,872 -[Video call ringing] -[Video call beeps] 242 00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:26,258 -Richard -Hi, Dad. 243 00:08:26,356 --> 00:08:27,856 What can I do for you? 244 00:08:27,953 --> 00:08:29,653 I'm just ringing to say that I've... I've... I'm going to take Mum in 245 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:32,150 -and it's all sorted and she's going to move in here. -I know. 246 00:08:32,213 --> 00:08:33,253 You've told me. 247 00:08:33,278 --> 00:08:34,878 I only need to be told something once. 248 00:08:34,908 --> 00:08:36,678 Yeah, erm, the other thing was... 249 00:08:36,772 --> 00:08:39,042 -Erm, this is a bit delicate because... -Don't waffle, Richard. 250 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,300 -I'm sorry. I... -Straight to the point. 251 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,603 Okay, you're... You're going to die. 252 00:08:42,662 --> 00:08:44,692 I know. Sorry, I'm just trying to get straight to the point. 253 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,931 You're going to die and I just wondered if you though of inheritance tax. 254 00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:49,249 Inheritance tax, Dad. 255 00:08:49,318 --> 00:08:52,018 If you gift your children your property now, 256 00:08:52,078 --> 00:08:53,648 then there's no inheritance tax to pay. 257 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:54,970 -I know. -And that would really, 258 00:08:55,074 --> 00:08:58,314 really help me and John and Katherine because 259 00:08:58,336 --> 00:09:00,606 it would really financially benefit us. 260 00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:02,960 [Inhales sharply] Richard. 261 00:09:03,061 --> 00:09:04,461 -Yeah? -Who says I've 262 00:09:04,525 --> 00:09:06,095 stopped having children. 263 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,621 Think about that. Bye! 264 00:09:08,718 --> 00:09:10,628 -[Video call hangs up] -[Video call ringing] 265 00:09:10,715 --> 00:09:12,545 -[Video call beeps] -Er, 266 00:09:12,611 --> 00:09:14,041 thank you for taking this call. 267 00:09:14,142 --> 00:09:16,342 I'm calling because of something my father just said to me 268 00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:18,745 and I really need to speak to you about it. 269 00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:21,071 He said, and I quote, 270 00:09:21,165 --> 00:09:23,775 "Who says I've stopped having children?" 271 00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:27,464 Did you feel like Pinocchio? Did you want to be 272 00:09:27,553 --> 00:09:29,683 turned from a puppet into a real boy 273 00:09:29,782 --> 00:09:31,992 and had Geppetto's real love for you? 274 00:09:32,046 --> 00:09:34,286 Yes. Yes, I do. I do, I feel wooden. 275 00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:35,408 I feel... 276 00:09:35,473 --> 00:09:36,673 I don't feel real. 277 00:09:36,771 --> 00:09:39,241 He's doing something that I've been asked to 278 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,530 give up. My wife wants me to have a vasectomy. 279 00:09:41,630 --> 00:09:43,670 She's asking me to lose the power 280 00:09:43,692 --> 00:09:45,732 to have children, and just at that moment, 281 00:09:45,756 --> 00:09:47,156 and I don't think this is a coincidence, 282 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,324 just at that moment he threatens to have more. 283 00:09:50,348 --> 00:09:52,548 You're imagining a collusion between 284 00:09:52,644 --> 00:09:55,544 what your father is doing spermatically 285 00:09:55,572 --> 00:09:57,242 with what your wife has in mind 286 00:09:57,304 --> 00:09:58,874 and they're not the same thing. 287 00:09:58,934 --> 00:10:00,804 Part of me understands yes, we don't want to have a child, 288 00:10:00,898 --> 00:10:02,908 that'd be about an absolutely nightmare. 289 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,260 And we wouldn't be bound by contraception... 290 00:10:05,323 --> 00:10:08,323 Is this because she's refusing to use contraception, 291 00:10:08,385 --> 00:10:10,425 -or you don't want to use a condom or both? -[Sighs] 292 00:10:10,514 --> 00:10:12,114 Well, I mean, I do use condoms. 293 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,189 But time is money. 294 00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:14,810 She's, you know... 295 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,110 -And yet you are the conqueror in the bed. -RICHARD: Yeah. 296 00:10:17,170 --> 00:10:18,200 Well, how long will that last? 297 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,070 As a man, 298 00:10:20,165 --> 00:10:22,365 once I've procreated, 299 00:10:22,427 --> 00:10:23,667 what does she need me for? 300 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,490 Well, first and foremost you are 301 00:10:26,587 --> 00:10:29,227 essentially, a very anal being. 302 00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:30,250 That's true. 303 00:10:30,348 --> 00:10:31,788 That requires no vasectomy. 304 00:10:31,846 --> 00:10:33,686 -That is true. -Victory. 305 00:10:34,673 --> 00:10:36,103 -Everybody wins. -RICHARD: Yeah. 306 00:10:36,204 --> 00:10:38,414 I'm not going to be reduced. 307 00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:39,907 Good. That's what you've arrived at. 308 00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:42,302 -I'm not going to be... -Snipped. 309 00:10:42,328 --> 00:10:43,838 -Snipped. -E-mail her assistant 310 00:10:43,892 --> 00:10:45,392 and say, "Fuck that, I'm not doing it". 311 00:10:45,456 --> 00:10:46,456 Yeah, I'm not going to have it. 312 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,851 Revere the rectum. 313 00:10:47,919 --> 00:10:50,059 -Yes! Thank you so much! -[Video call disconnects] 314 00:10:50,115 --> 00:10:51,555 [Video call ringing] 315 00:10:51,645 --> 00:10:52,745 -Hi, Neil. -Richard. 316 00:10:52,844 --> 00:10:54,444 -Hey, how are you? -I can't wait 317 00:10:54,507 --> 00:10:56,667 to get going in this next session, mate, to be honest. 318 00:10:56,736 --> 00:10:58,776 -Oh, good. -I've thought of nothing else since last time. 319 00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:01,674 What... What particularly did, er, did it throw off for you? 320 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,958 Like, I never thought of anything before 321 00:11:04,058 --> 00:11:05,898 and, like, I realised, "Oh, yeah"... 322 00:11:05,955 --> 00:11:08,595 -Oh, okay. -"...that's why I'm like that." 323 00:11:08,616 --> 00:11:12,226 So... So let's talk, maybe, about the world of work for you 324 00:11:12,244 --> 00:11:13,944 and how that's been. 325 00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,608 Did you go and do any training? Did you get some qualifications or... 326 00:11:16,636 --> 00:11:19,206 Sort of did various jobs. 327 00:11:19,232 --> 00:11:20,632 [Stammers] The sort of things, like, 328 00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:22,333 nobbling horses, 329 00:11:22,394 --> 00:11:25,164 you know, break into a stable and dose a horse up with something. 330 00:11:25,222 --> 00:11:27,562 And from there I thought, "I'm going to make money". 331 00:11:27,618 --> 00:11:30,248 So I went to London to try and get into, er, 332 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,480 -you know, into banking. -Okay. 333 00:11:32,509 --> 00:11:34,049 You know, it was bullshitting, really... 334 00:11:34,074 --> 00:11:36,274 -Yeah. -I used to pretend I was a trader. 335 00:11:36,370 --> 00:11:38,940 -Right. -I used to get my sister into 336 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:42,103 be an escort, and now I have meetings with these clients 337 00:11:42,128 --> 00:11:43,638 from Singapore, places like that. 338 00:11:43,691 --> 00:11:46,091 Just bullshit, base... I've always been good at that. 339 00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:47,491 You got your sister to be an escort? 340 00:11:47,518 --> 00:11:49,718 Yeah, well she had never been to London before. 341 00:11:49,815 --> 00:11:51,055 Oh, okay. 342 00:11:51,113 --> 00:11:53,123 Yeah, from there I got into doing a bit of trading 343 00:11:53,142 --> 00:11:54,572 and, this will surprise you... 344 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:57,383 -Will it? -The thing I liked most about trading 345 00:11:57,468 --> 00:11:59,598 was the physicality of it. 346 00:11:59,699 --> 00:12:02,809 -How do you mean? -Because I became a derivatives trader... 347 00:12:02,893 --> 00:12:04,323 -Right. -...and it makes 348 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,390 such a difference 349 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,920 if you add a level of threat and violence to the interaction. 350 00:12:08,983 --> 00:12:11,383 -I see. -This is where I came into my own, you know? 351 00:12:11,478 --> 00:12:12,518 RICHARD: Right. And... 352 00:12:12,577 --> 00:12:14,807 And now you're in the loan... 353 00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:16,406 -You're a loan-arranger. -Yeah. 354 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,306 What set of skills do you have there that's... 355 00:12:18,366 --> 00:12:19,736 -That's helpful? -Oh, I'm good at maths. 356 00:12:19,798 --> 00:12:21,658 -Right. -Oh, and some weaponry. 357 00:12:21,761 --> 00:12:23,931 -Do you... -You've got to be threatening, even without weaponry. 358 00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:26,660 -Do you enjoy that side of it? -It feels brilliant. 359 00:12:26,686 --> 00:12:29,026 Like, you know when you get someone by the neck? 360 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:32,189 -Tell me. -And then you squeeze their neck so hard 361 00:12:32,243 --> 00:12:34,283 that their eyes start to bulge out a bit? 362 00:12:34,373 --> 00:12:36,203 Then they shit themselves, do you know that? 363 00:12:36,269 --> 00:12:37,469 What, that's pleasurable? 364 00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:39,261 -So that... Yeah. -You enjoy that feeling? 365 00:12:39,297 --> 00:12:42,427 -Yeah. -RICHARD: The thing is, Neil, 366 00:12:42,493 --> 00:12:44,293 I'm starting to feel a little bit out of my depth here. 367 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,059 No, no, no, no. This is normal stuff. 368 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,920 -Well, I'm not sure just talking to me... -Shut up! 369 00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:49,350 -I'm not sure just... -Shut up! 370 00:12:49,448 --> 00:12:50,608 -I can't. -We are carrying on with this! 371 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:52,249 I can't carry on with it, Neil. I can't. 372 00:12:52,309 --> 00:12:53,379 I don't know what I'm doing with... 373 00:12:53,474 --> 00:12:54,944 We are going on with this! 374 00:12:54,971 --> 00:12:56,541 -[Stammers] -NEIL: Well fucking carry on with it! 375 00:12:56,636 --> 00:12:58,476 Turn your back on me I'll fucking come around there 376 00:12:58,533 --> 00:12:59,673 and fucking kill you, mate! 377 00:12:59,731 --> 00:13:01,391 -Do you get the message? -I can't... 378 00:13:01,495 --> 00:13:02,905 -I just... -See, you got me going there. 379 00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:04,758 -I don't want to get you going. -I didn't enjoy that. 380 00:13:04,789 --> 00:13:06,349 -Didn't you? -I need it. You need to carry on with this. 381 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,716 -You need to carry on with this, mate. -Okay. 382 00:13:07,784 --> 00:13:09,384 Fucking hell! Why are you doing this to me? 383 00:13:09,481 --> 00:13:10,981 -I'm not doing anything to you. -Fuck! 384 00:13:11,011 --> 00:13:12,541 Let me... Let me... Let me lay out where I think we are. 385 00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:13,809 All right, all right! 386 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,580 -Keep going. I'll take some money off. -Yes? 387 00:13:15,604 --> 00:13:17,144 -I'll take some money off the debt. -We'll, carry on. 388 00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:18,601 I'll take some money off their debt, just carry on! 389 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:20,562 -Okay, thanks, Neil. -[Groaning and screaming] 390 00:13:20,629 --> 00:13:22,129 [Video call disconnects] 391 00:13:26,952 --> 00:13:28,052 [Keyboard clicking] 392 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,084 [Footsteps approaching] 393 00:13:33,174 --> 00:13:34,274 MAN: [On video] A vasectomy is male... 394 00:13:34,373 --> 00:13:35,773 -Erm... -MAN: ...sterilization. 395 00:13:35,837 --> 00:13:38,667 RICHARD: Vasectomies. PETE: What the fucking hell? 396 00:13:38,698 --> 00:13:39,698 -Oh! -Oh! 397 00:13:39,796 --> 00:13:41,126 -Jesus! -Whoa. 398 00:13:41,227 --> 00:13:42,837 PETE: Why the hell are you watching this? 399 00:13:42,891 --> 00:13:44,331 RICHARD: Karen's making me have one. 400 00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,083 Why, because you don't want to have any more children? 401 00:13:46,119 --> 00:13:47,949 Er... We're not going to have children anyway. 402 00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:50,559 - Not at our age. -PETE: Because Wendy's desperate to get pregnant. 403 00:13:50,645 --> 00:13:52,775 And she's naked, back home, just waiting. 404 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,174 That's just two percent of lust. 405 00:13:54,272 --> 00:13:55,572 Too much information. 406 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:56,940 PETE: I probably should get one of these. 407 00:13:57,534 --> 00:13:58,874 Christ! 408 00:13:58,931 --> 00:14:00,101 Yeah. 409 00:14:00,895 --> 00:14:02,135 -You should. -Huh? 410 00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:03,398 You should get a vasectomy. 411 00:14:03,491 --> 00:14:04,921 Oh, you're joking. No. 412 00:14:04,954 --> 00:14:06,794 RICHARD: And if you get one pretending you're me, 413 00:14:06,885 --> 00:14:08,985 then Karen's medical insurance will pay for it. 414 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,484 -MAN: [On video] ...sperm to clear out. -Okay. 415 00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:11,545 -Yeah? Yeah? -Yeah. Yeah. 416 00:14:11,577 --> 00:14:12,647 -Yeah? Yeah? -Yeah. Yeah. 417 00:14:12,741 --> 00:14:14,241 [Video call ringing] 418 00:14:14,339 --> 00:14:15,539 -[Video call beeps] -Er, hello. 419 00:14:15,603 --> 00:14:17,203 -Er, hi. -Mr Pitt. 420 00:14:17,301 --> 00:14:19,141 Yes, this is... Well, I'm not Mr Pitt, this is Mr Pitt here. 421 00:14:19,197 --> 00:14:20,537 -Sit down, Mr Pitt. Sit down. -PETE: No, I just... 422 00:14:20,595 --> 00:14:22,025 -No, I can't. -Mr Pitt? 423 00:14:22,059 --> 00:14:23,599 PETE: I can't do it. 424 00:14:23,623 --> 00:14:25,123 -I'm Dr Mandal. -Good. 425 00:14:25,187 --> 00:14:27,087 I'll be performing your vasectomy. 426 00:14:27,184 --> 00:14:30,454 -Okay. -Can I just confirm some details with you? 427 00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:33,508 -Yeah. -Okay, full name including any middle names? 428 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,806 -Er, Richard... -RICHARD: [Whispers] James. 429 00:14:35,869 --> 00:14:37,569 ...James Pitt. 430 00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:40,433 Any health problems, or are you on a medication at the moment? 431 00:14:40,494 --> 00:14:42,734 -Any allergies? -[Whispering] I'm not going to do anything? 432 00:14:43,855 --> 00:14:45,485 -Sorry? -No. 433 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,920 Okay. Are you aware of what the procedure entails? 434 00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:50,653 Just 435 00:14:50,711 --> 00:14:51,981 tie it up and 436 00:14:53,307 --> 00:14:54,307 hope for the best. 437 00:14:54,338 --> 00:14:55,938 Erm, we can discuss that 438 00:14:56,035 --> 00:14:57,335 when you're in the clinic. 439 00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:59,543 -Yeah. -But we advise that you refrain from 440 00:14:59,562 --> 00:15:00,932 sexual intercourse 441 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,560 -or masturbation for... -Oh. Really? 442 00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:06,790 Er, yeah. From ten to 15 days after the procedure. 443 00:15:06,884 --> 00:15:07,884 Fucking hell! 444 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,348 Is that going to be a problem? 445 00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:11,920 Sexual intercourse... Ooph. But 446 00:15:11,975 --> 00:15:15,145 masturbation, that's quite a big deal in our house. 447 00:15:15,203 --> 00:15:16,803 -[Chuckles heartily] -Yeah. 448 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,840 Are you aware that you'll need to wax in advance? 449 00:15:18,929 --> 00:15:20,859 -[Richard chuckling softly] -Is that... [Clears throat] 450 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,430 -Are you all right? -Yeah. 451 00:15:22,524 --> 00:15:23,524 Okay. 452 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,859 So, erm, if you're happy 453 00:15:24,953 --> 00:15:26,953 then we will see each other in the surgery. 454 00:15:27,016 --> 00:15:28,546 -Thank you. -All right, then. 455 00:15:28,613 --> 00:15:30,183 -[Video call disconnects] -You made me! 456 00:15:30,245 --> 00:15:31,345 You made me do it! 457 00:15:31,409 --> 00:15:32,849 -You've done it now. -This always happens! 458 00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:34,176 -You made me! -You're in. You're locked in. 459 00:15:34,238 --> 00:15:35,198 -You've got to go. -You can't do this again! 460 00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:36,640 You're locked in. 461 00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:38,267 It's like that time you made me nick from the corner shop. 462 00:15:38,364 --> 00:15:39,604 -You made me do it! -[Video call ringing] 463 00:15:39,662 --> 00:15:41,062 -You're locked in! -And I had to... 464 00:15:41,093 --> 00:15:42,863 -I can't do it! -You can. You're going to have to. 465 00:15:42,889 --> 00:15:44,689 PETE: You... RICHARD: Go on. Go and shave them. Wax them. 466 00:15:44,786 --> 00:15:46,356 -You made me! -Uh-huh. 467 00:15:46,451 --> 00:15:48,021 -PETE: The blood is on your hands! -[Video call beeps] 468 00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,117 -Alison. -Richard. 469 00:15:50,145 --> 00:15:51,905 It's been eight weeks since our last session. 470 00:15:51,975 --> 00:15:53,545 It's... It's nine, actually. 471 00:15:53,638 --> 00:15:55,768 -[Paper crinkles] -Because there were the group sessions 472 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,937 -and then I spoke to you last week. -RICHARD: Right. 473 00:15:58,032 --> 00:15:59,802 So her death 474 00:15:59,895 --> 00:16:01,395 -twenty years ago... -Twenty years. 475 00:16:01,492 --> 00:16:04,362 -...is still very foreground for you? -Of course. 476 00:16:04,388 --> 00:16:07,288 -Yeah. -It seems to keep being reinvented, Richard. 477 00:16:07,349 --> 00:16:10,719 -In your mind, or, or... -I think in the collective consciousness, actually. 478 00:16:10,776 --> 00:16:12,716 -Mmm. -And you can see from her funeral 479 00:16:12,773 --> 00:16:15,573 just all of the different people who turned up and 480 00:16:15,602 --> 00:16:17,642 everyone's got different perspectives of her. 481 00:16:17,731 --> 00:16:19,001 -Mmm. -She loved people. 482 00:16:19,029 --> 00:16:20,129 You could see that she... 483 00:16:20,194 --> 00:16:22,624 -Her face lit up... -In public, she did. 484 00:16:22,722 --> 00:16:24,722 Well, in private there wouldn't have been any people, 485 00:16:24,786 --> 00:16:26,056 so I don't quite know what you mean. 486 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,021 I think what I'm trying to say is, 487 00:16:28,048 --> 00:16:31,048 is that we don't know what goes on in the minds of strangers. 488 00:16:31,076 --> 00:16:32,446 Diana isn't a stranger. 489 00:16:32,506 --> 00:16:34,876 -Well, in many ways, Alison, she is. -No. 490 00:16:34,903 --> 00:16:36,973 But in... In... Yeah, she is. 491 00:16:37,033 --> 00:16:38,203 She was our friend. 492 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,834 Yeah, no, I mean, she obviously struck a cord 493 00:16:39,861 --> 00:16:41,661 in many people, and in you, 494 00:16:41,691 --> 00:16:43,231 and that cord has been ringing 495 00:16:43,288 --> 00:16:45,088 -for the last 20 years. -Yeah. 496 00:16:45,152 --> 00:16:47,722 And I think the key, Alison, and we've talked about this many times, 497 00:16:47,815 --> 00:16:50,855 is finding out what it was in your life 498 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:51,920 at that time... 499 00:16:51,941 --> 00:16:53,741 You keep talking about this, Richard, 500 00:16:53,770 --> 00:16:56,180 and I don't know what you mean, really. -She is your life. 501 00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:58,727 And what I want to achieve is that your life 502 00:16:59,328 --> 00:17:00,458 is you. 503 00:17:00,526 --> 00:17:02,956 But everyone has parts of their lives 504 00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,755 to do with other people. 505 00:17:04,787 --> 00:17:06,887 -I mean, you're married, aren't you? -Yes, but I've met my wife. 506 00:17:06,949 --> 00:17:08,579 We've been in the same room together. 507 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,779 -[Sighs] -Did Lady Diana know who you were? 508 00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:13,210 I don't know, Richard! Just... You're gloating, 509 00:17:13,305 --> 00:17:14,835 and I don't accept it! 510 00:17:14,935 --> 00:17:17,105 -I'm not gloating. -About having met your wife. 511 00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:19,005 I'm not gloating, Alison, 512 00:17:19,062 --> 00:17:20,562 -I just want you to move on... -And I didn't want to marry Diana anyway. 513 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:21,825 Well, I'm not suggesting you should marry Diana, 514 00:17:21,924 --> 00:17:23,464 -I'm suggesting... -Well, good. 515 00:17:23,554 --> 00:17:25,684 But Diana didn't have a fucking clue who you were! 516 00:17:25,784 --> 00:17:27,484 She doesn't know who you are. 517 00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:29,821 -You're trying to suggest that she didn't care, Richard! -Yes! 518 00:17:29,845 --> 00:17:31,415 -And she did care! -That's exactly what I'm 519 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,881 -trying to suggest! -She cared about all of us! 520 00:17:32,972 --> 00:17:34,602 -No, she didn't! -Have you seen the footage? 521 00:17:34,669 --> 00:17:36,269 She cared about people she met! -She held that man's hand 522 00:17:36,366 --> 00:17:38,206 without a glove on and he had AIDS! 523 00:17:38,263 --> 00:17:40,473 -She... -Do you realise how unprecedented that was? 524 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:43,462 No, I'm saying that you are... You are sheltering from your life 525 00:17:43,487 --> 00:17:45,257 under a Diana-shaped rock. 526 00:17:45,284 --> 00:17:46,724 What do you think you're doing? 527 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,316 I'm trying to grab you by your ankle 528 00:17:49,344 --> 00:17:50,904 and yank you out of there. 529 00:17:51,009 --> 00:17:52,849 What should be important to me? 530 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:53,906 You. 531 00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:56,934 I don't want to betray her. 532 00:17:58,030 --> 00:17:59,940 [Mobile ringing] 533 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,060 -RICHARD: Hey, you've landed. -Hi. Sorry, traffic was terrible. 534 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,793 -Right, you'll be home soon? -I'll be back soon. 535 00:18:03,887 --> 00:18:06,587 -RICHARD: Okay, how was Zurich? -It's been a complete nightmare. 536 00:18:06,616 --> 00:18:08,316 -Oh, no! -The company, it's in such trouble. 537 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,679 -Really? -I've got to make 538 00:18:09,744 --> 00:18:11,474 so many redundancies on Monday, I'm dreading it. 539 00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:13,910 -Oh... -So, I don't know where that's going to leave us. 540 00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:15,330 Can you take the bridge? 541 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,400 Heard Vernon was talking about your company. 542 00:18:16,498 --> 00:18:17,998 He thinks it's really a grower. 543 00:18:18,029 --> 00:18:19,529 -Well, I mean, it's going great... -So I thought, 544 00:18:19,594 --> 00:18:20,754 maybe I should think about having a year off, 545 00:18:20,825 --> 00:18:21,965 or just a bit of a break 546 00:18:22,023 --> 00:18:23,163 -and... -Yeah, eventually. 547 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,020 And you bring the money in, and... 548 00:18:25,052 --> 00:18:26,782 -Eventually that... That... -You'll be the breadwinner and I'll just... 549 00:18:26,849 --> 00:18:28,379 -We can definitely talk about that. -I'm sorry, darling. 550 00:18:28,445 --> 00:18:29,645 -[Mobile ringing] -The London office is calling. 551 00:18:29,677 --> 00:18:30,637 -But don't... But don't... -I've got to go. 552 00:18:30,675 --> 00:18:31,435 No, I've got to speak... 553 00:18:31,506 --> 00:18:33,206 TERRY: [On voice call] Hello? 554 00:18:33,270 --> 00:18:34,840 -RICHARD: Is that Terry? -I haven't done anything like this before. 555 00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:36,308 Right. What brings you to therapy today, er, Terry? 556 00:18:36,398 --> 00:18:38,868 -Well, it's money problems. -RICHARD: Is it? 557 00:18:38,928 --> 00:18:40,228 It's just, erm, 558 00:18:40,292 --> 00:18:42,132 completely taken over me life. 559 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,852 Yes, I... I... Well. 560 00:18:43,886 --> 00:18:46,296 It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 561 00:18:46,348 --> 00:18:47,488 -Yeah. -TERRY: It all started 562 00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:50,084 about 18 months ago, I suppose. 563 00:18:50,109 --> 00:18:51,919 I got a phone call from this lady. 564 00:18:51,939 --> 00:18:54,339 She said, "You've won..." She said, 565 00:18:54,435 --> 00:18:59,175 "One hundred and forty-eight point-two million pounds 566 00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,260 "on the Euro lottery". 567 00:19:01,323 --> 00:19:03,153 Just like that. 568 00:19:03,253 --> 00:19:04,753 What... Did you lose the money? 569 00:19:04,818 --> 00:19:08,188 You'd think, wouldn't you, that money would make you happy. 570 00:19:08,212 --> 00:19:11,082 -Yeah. -Well, I haven't been happy since I won this bloody money. 571 00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:12,980 -Oh. -You know, I've got all this 572 00:19:13,004 --> 00:19:14,634 just dangling about the place. 573 00:19:14,734 --> 00:19:15,844 It means nothing. 574 00:19:15,932 --> 00:19:17,632 -[Sighs] -It means absolutely nothing. 575 00:19:17,729 --> 00:19:18,859 -RICHARD: Don't do that, Terry. 576 00:19:18,961 --> 00:19:20,431 -This is a curse, this stuff. -Yeah. 577 00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,229 -I wake up every morning... -Oh, God. 578 00:19:22,321 --> 00:19:23,761 Just it's... You know. 579 00:19:23,819 --> 00:19:27,359 -It just gets me down. -Yeah. 580 00:19:27,413 --> 00:19:30,613 [Stammering] I don't know what you can do to help me. 581 00:19:30,642 --> 00:19:33,182 I think I might have to top myself, you know, Richard? 582 00:19:33,237 --> 00:19:35,197 I... I... I understand how difficult this must be for you. 583 00:19:35,266 --> 00:19:38,636 You have an issue that most people would look at and say, 584 00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:42,291 -"Oh, my God. That is the answer to all my problems". -Yeah. 585 00:19:42,388 --> 00:19:43,688 You know, we all have money problems. 586 00:19:43,785 --> 00:19:45,425 You have too much, I have, er... 587 00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:48,853 Er, a mother who's sick and needs round-the-clock care. 588 00:19:48,911 --> 00:19:50,511 All right, then. 589 00:19:50,541 --> 00:19:52,911 My daughter is, er... She's ran up a lot of student debts, 590 00:19:52,937 --> 00:19:54,537 -Huge debts... -Ah, really? 591 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,838 Yeah, I mean, nothing 110 grand wouldn't knock a hole in. 592 00:19:56,897 --> 00:19:58,167 But, you know... 593 00:19:58,261 --> 00:20:00,731 -Er... -That's not your problem, Terry. 594 00:20:00,757 --> 00:20:02,297 Nope. 595 00:20:02,355 --> 00:20:05,295 So I wouldn't, er, I wouldn't, erm, burden you with it 596 00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:06,780 because this is your time, not mine. 597 00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,424 Oh, you've got a lot on your plate. 598 00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,811 I have, Terry. I have. 599 00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:11,978 -Of course, the simplest thing would be... -Yeah. 600 00:20:12,038 --> 00:20:13,838 -If I gave you... -Yeah. 601 00:20:13,935 --> 00:20:15,705 ...twenty million pounds, 602 00:20:15,766 --> 00:20:19,036 I supposed you think, you know, all your problems would be over. 603 00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:21,666 But... [Groans] I wouldn't. I'll tell you, 604 00:20:21,756 --> 00:20:23,386 it's a mad's game, being rich. 605 00:20:23,419 --> 00:20:25,259 -Right. -TERRY: So... [Muttering] 606 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,850 That's the... That's the end of it. 607 00:20:26,947 --> 00:20:28,247 -Right. -TERRY: Well, 608 00:20:28,278 --> 00:20:29,438 -you've been very helpful. -[Dejected] Yeah. 609 00:20:29,543 --> 00:20:30,883 TERRY: I'm very grateful. 610 00:20:30,973 --> 00:20:32,403 -[Groans] -RICHARD: Okay. Okay. 611 00:20:32,438 --> 00:20:33,838 -[Terry groaning] -I mean, you could... 612 00:20:33,868 --> 00:20:35,068 -Are you all right? -TERRY: God. 613 00:20:35,166 --> 00:20:36,606 [Muttering indistinctly] 614 00:20:36,664 --> 00:20:38,704 -Terry? -[Gurgling] God! 615 00:20:38,793 --> 00:20:40,093 -[Muttering] -Terry? 616 00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:41,491 -Terry, can you hear me? -[Muttering indistinctly] 617 00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:42,823 -Just get it... -I don't know what I can... 618 00:20:42,886 --> 00:20:43,986 Terry! 619 00:20:44,051 --> 00:20:45,151 -Terry? -[Terry thuds to floor] 620 00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:46,120 Terry? 621 00:20:46,215 --> 00:20:48,085 Don't die on me, Terry! 622 00:20:48,111 --> 00:20:49,911 -Oh, for the love of... -[Groaning] 623 00:20:49,941 --> 00:20:51,571 -Oh! Oh, Jesus, Terry! -Oh, God. 624 00:20:51,671 --> 00:20:54,041 -Trapped wind. -RICHARD: Oh, my goodness gracious me. 625 00:20:54,101 --> 00:20:56,331 -[Exhales sharply] -For a moment there I was really worried that something 626 00:20:56,364 --> 00:20:57,664 -had happened to you. -I'm all right. 627 00:20:57,728 --> 00:20:58,798 Erm... 628 00:20:58,893 --> 00:21:00,533 Have you made a will? 629 00:21:00,557 --> 00:21:01,727 [Voice call disconnects] 630 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:03,953 Darling? 631 00:21:04,816 --> 00:21:06,356 -Hey, oh! -Ah! 632 00:21:06,381 --> 00:21:08,081 Oh, it is so good to see you. 633 00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:09,714 Great to see you. How was your trip? 634 00:21:09,775 --> 00:21:11,985 -Oh, it's been awful. -Has it? 635 00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:13,407 -Yeah, how are you? -Oh, no! 636 00:21:13,502 --> 00:21:14,802 -Yeah, I'm good. -How's it going? 637 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:15,969 -It's going great. -Yeah? 638 00:21:15,997 --> 00:21:17,037 -Mmm-hmm. -The kids all right? 639 00:21:17,129 --> 00:21:18,599 -The kids are great. -Great! 640 00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,560 [Kids screaming and arguing] 641 00:21:20,623 --> 00:21:22,763 ZAHRA: Do you even care about me? This is not an open relationship, is it? 642 00:21:22,819 --> 00:21:24,459 [Stifles laughter] 643 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:25,780 -Exciting. -[Door banging] 644 00:21:25,814 --> 00:21:27,014 -You know what that's about? -Not really. 645 00:21:27,046 --> 00:21:28,416 Ah, Mr Pitt. 646 00:21:28,444 --> 00:21:29,684 She left a message. 647 00:21:29,774 --> 00:21:31,644 She's just about to arrive. 648 00:21:32,836 --> 00:21:34,366 Who the fuck is that? 649 00:21:34,434 --> 00:21:35,604 That's Jose. 650 00:21:35,665 --> 00:21:37,465 He's going to be looking after 651 00:21:37,561 --> 00:21:38,701 my mother, who is 652 00:21:40,324 --> 00:21:41,334 moving in. 653 00:21:42,287 --> 00:21:43,187 She's what? 654 00:21:43,252 --> 00:21:45,122 -[Buzzer sounding] -That's her now. 655 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:47,710 [Buzzer sounding] 656 00:21:48,476 --> 00:21:50,206 -Ricky! -Mom! 657 00:21:50,273 --> 00:21:52,513 It's always much further than I think. 658 00:21:52,536 --> 00:21:54,636 I've completely run out of money. 659 00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:56,130 Taxi's still going. 660 00:21:56,164 --> 00:21:57,424 -Have you got any spare cash? -Don't do this to me. 661 00:21:57,495 --> 00:21:59,535 -Hello, Candace. -It's Karen. 662 00:21:59,557 --> 00:22:00,557 -MAGGIE: Mmm, ah, no. -Erm... 663 00:22:00,656 --> 00:22:01,696 Hello, Mum. 664 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:02,894 Oh, darling! [Laughs] 665 00:22:02,951 --> 00:22:04,721 Richard, I'm going to be upstairs, I think. 666 00:22:04,749 --> 00:22:06,359 Erm, Maggie, unfortunately... 667 00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:08,020 -MAGGIE: What? -...I'd love to have you to stay, 668 00:22:08,111 --> 00:22:09,471 -Hmm? -KAREN: But we just don't have any room. 669 00:22:09,541 --> 00:22:10,541 -Oh, well, we'll have to... -And... 670 00:22:10,573 --> 00:22:11,643 It's all been arranged already. 671 00:22:11,737 --> 00:22:13,537 -Exactly. -No, I can't cope... 672 00:22:13,601 --> 00:22:15,371 -I can't cope... -Do you know what I really wouldn't mind? A cup of tea. 673 00:22:15,398 --> 00:22:16,638 A cup of tea. Good idea. 674 00:22:16,728 --> 00:22:18,328 -Richard, can we have a word? -No sugar. 675 00:22:18,393 --> 00:22:19,953 Thanks awfully. Oh, hello. 676 00:22:20,556 --> 00:22:21,966 Er, I'm ready. 677 00:22:22,020 --> 00:22:23,660 -Great, this is Jose. He's a... -Yes, I know Jose. 678 00:22:23,751 --> 00:22:25,381 He's going to be moving in. 679 00:22:25,414 --> 00:22:27,044 MAGGIE: Oh, Good. RICHARD: He'll be staying in the office... 680 00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:29,346 -Ooh. -...and Mum will be sleeping in Issy's room. 681 00:22:29,407 --> 00:22:31,407 And you've talked to Issy about that, have you? 682 00:22:31,438 --> 00:22:33,238 -Yes, Issy's going to be moving in with Zahra. -[Issy screaming upstairs] 683 00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:34,908 -[Issy screams] -ZAHRA: That's it, I'm done. 684 00:22:34,998 --> 00:22:37,058 I can't believe you cheated on me! 685 00:22:37,095 --> 00:22:39,425 -ISSY: I didn't! -I just can't believe you anymore! 686 00:22:39,490 --> 00:22:41,060 [Zahra sobbing] 687 00:22:44,516 --> 00:22:45,686 The minute they sort that out. 688 00:22:45,714 --> 00:22:48,084 Yeah. So I'm going upstairs... 689 00:22:48,110 --> 00:22:49,680 -No. No, you're not. -[Mobile ringing] 690 00:22:49,707 --> 00:22:51,147 -What... -Oh! 691 00:22:51,238 --> 00:22:52,468 -I've got all my luggage outside. -It's Abs! 692 00:22:52,503 --> 00:22:53,533 -Abs? -Hey, Abs. 693 00:22:53,567 --> 00:22:54,767 -Mr P! -RICHARD: Hi. 694 00:22:54,865 --> 00:22:55,895 -It's Abs. -Are you ready for some karaoke? 695 00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:57,500 -I am. Say hello to Abs. -Oh... 696 00:22:57,527 --> 00:22:58,537 -Abs, he'll be out in a minute. -Hello, Abs. 697 00:22:58,592 --> 00:22:59,932 Hey, guys! 698 00:22:59,957 --> 00:23:01,497 -KAREN: I need to talk... -Well, I'll leave you two 699 00:23:01,553 --> 00:23:03,153 -to catch up. -No, no, no, no, no. Richard! 700 00:23:03,185 --> 00:23:04,745 Richard! 701 00:23:04,816 --> 00:23:06,586 ABS: Mr P, I've got six hours booked, 702 00:23:06,612 --> 00:23:08,552 -how are you feeling? -Like a cock in a blender. 703 00:23:08,575 --> 00:23:10,375 Ha-ha! I like your style. 704 00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:12,382 Look, I don't want to rush you, but I booked the platinum suite. 705 00:23:12,435 --> 00:23:13,535 It's not cheap. 706 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,170 There better be booze. 707 00:23:18,901 --> 00:23:20,101 [Theme music playing] 708 00:23:20,151 --> 00:23:24,701 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 56066

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