All language subtitles for Hang Ups s01e02.ennng

I've had a call
from the hospital.

It's about your mother.

-Oh.
-She's had a fall.

-Oh.
-Off the wagon.

Do you not know
why I'm calling you?

Do you not know
what danger you're in, mate?

Absolutely no question.
You're getting your money.

Promo! Let's do a promo.

PETE: You come
into the website immediately.

"Richard Pitt. Therapy."

-Have you ever
had therapy? -No.

-Do you want some?
-We'll do it one day.

-Okay.
-And then, if not,

I'll come around
and stick needles in your eyes.

Okay, um, I'm nervous,

but I think
you are gonna like this.

-Okay.
-I put a lot of work into it.

Um, sit back, relax, enjoy.

[Hardcore music plays]

[Screams]

-Pete?
-Yeah?

-I have to be honest.
-Please do.

That is unbelievably shit.

Pete, that is
so wide off the mark.

I don't even know
where to begin.

Some of these people
are in a really difficult place

and that would
push them over the edge.

Can you do it again?
But different and better.

[Sighing] Honestly,
I'm rushed off my feet here.

Yeah, you need to remember
Ricky's birthday, darling.

Oh, yeah.
You gonna be 15 soon, Ricky.

-Sixteen!
-Sixteen.

-Ask him what he wants to do?
-What'd you want for your... what'd you want to do?

-Basketball tickets.
-Basketball tickets.

-Great idea!
You sort that out, okay? -Yeah, but what we actually need

is food. That's the
only thing that matters. I feel like I can't even cope.

-Why hasn't he gone to the shop?
-He doesn't care. That's what...

Hey, this isn't
a food bank, okay? Why don't you eat at Zahra's?

You two are here all the time!

I mean,
how is that even relevant? Pete is here the whole time.

Yeah, well,
I'm not shagging Pete, am I?

I don't even know
what he means by that. It's just so offensive.

-Izzy, darling...
-I just can't.

-Can you just call me, please?
-Yes, of course.

-The drama!
-Listen, she's probably hungry.

-You've got to feed
the children, Richard, okay? -I will.

-I really need some food.
-Okay, all right.

-Hello, Liam.
-He is so weird.

-He's a darling.
Leave him alone. -Where are my festival tickets?

Festival tickets,
are we okay with that?

-Yes, you sort that out.
-All right.

-I'll speak to you later.
-I'll talk to you later.

Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum!

[Laptop rings]

Hi, sis. You are harder
to get a hold of than Tracey Evans' dentists!

[Typing]

-What are you doing now?
-I'm just writing. I'm trying to write.

Oh, you're trying to write.
What are you writing?

It's my novel.
You know I'm writing a novel.

You've probably forgotten
or don't really care.

Okay,
I'm the bearer of bad news.

RICHARD: Mum has had
a catastrophic relapse and is in hospital.

I'm sorry
to have to tell you that.

Yeah, and?
And what?

And she is gonna be
discharged shortly

and she is gonna
have to come and live with...

I mean, one of us,
but you, I thought you would be the one.

Sorry, I'm not quite sure
how you got to that.

You've got space.
I don't.

I haven't got space, Richard.

You know I've only got
a two-bedroom house,

and Chrissy lives
in the other room. We don't have space.

Could Chrissy not
stay in a different room?

No.

That's the room she rents.
She lives in the room.

Like, why would she
stay in a different room?

-Yeah, why would she?
-I don't know what you're getting at, Richard.

-No, I don't have the space.
-Don't you?

You live in
a kind of UN building...

Yeah, we do, and we've got
42 refugees staying here.

Have you seen how many
children are in this house?

I thought you wanted
to adopt, anyway.

No, not a 70-year old woman.

Okay, as far as I can see,

it's really
quite straightforward.

She wants to kill herself.
I'm happy to drive her to Switzerland,

and we can
get it done professionally.

Can I just stop you there?
Because your compassion is just overwhelming me.

Richard, you're the one
who's getting involved in it. You're the one who, like, cares.

I'm asking one thing.

Please be on a conference call
with our brother.

Sorry, why you getting
Jon on the phone?

What's he got to do
with anything?

Isn't he just shooting people
in Iraq or something?

Say no more. Say no more.

-I'll see you.
I'll see you at 3:00. -I'm not gonna be there at 3:00.

-I'll see you at 3:00.
-I'm not gonna be there.

-I'm not gonna be there.
-At 3:00.

[Ringing]

Hello?

Hello, Martin. I'm Richard.

RICHARD: Hello? Hello?

Can you hear me?

-I'm not deaf.
-All right, sorry.

I just noticed the hearing aid.

-They're not working ones.
-Okay.

It stops people talking to you.

Because they think you're deaf?

Pardon?

Because they think you're deaf?

-Sorry, I can't hear you.
Just give me a sec. -All right.

-What?
-You don't want to talk to people in the restaurant?

People don't have to talk to me.
I don't like it when they talk to me.

It's unnecessary.
I don't require it.

I assume this therapy must be
a little problematic for you?

I'm not at
my most comfortable, no.

And what was it that took you
out of your comfort zone today?

-They have problems upstairs
with staffing. -Yeah.

So I'm having to
move upstairs to greet the patrons at the door.

Or I will lose my job.

-And you are understandably
very anxious about that.

-I have a system...
-Mmm.

-in the cloak room and it works.
-Mmm-hmm.

People come and go
with as little fuss as possible,

and that works.

If they come,
and they want a chat, and they want to be friendly,

I shut them down.

I shut them down.

Yeah.

So, what I'd like to
offer you today is maybe a coping mechanism

for your stint
as maître d' later on.

Well, I need something.

Otherwise,
I'm gonna lose this job.

I would suggest
a form of what I would call "quiet disguise".

Just for today, maybe wear
a cravat or a big flower,

or a pair of glasses.

Or another pair of glasses.

-Like a fancy dress.
-Yes.

Like Michael Jackson had
a sequined glove, or a monkey, or a thing on his face.

Could I be Spiderman?

Well, would the restaurant
go for that?

[Sighs] They might notice.

Then say
that Spiderman is undercover.

-Go as Undercover Spiderman?
-Yeah.

Exactly.

-Sit there.
-Yeah.

-Sit there.
-Yeah.

-But, you know...
-You, sit there.

Yeah, but gently, mostly.

[Groaning]

Yeah, yeah,
but gently, gently.

-Sit there!
-Yeah, Martin...

-Sit there!
-I think they know where to sit now.

Hi, Richard.

Karen, I need to talk to you
about my mother.

-Yeah, I'm so super horny...
-RICHARD: Can I speak to you...

-that you must speak with me.
I like this very much. -Hi, Werner.

Hello, hello.

-Now, Karen, if you let us five.
-Yes.

Let us five,
this is all I demand. Uh, Abs?

-Okay, yes sir.
-You are still here?

No, I'm...
I'm gone, sir.

I must speak
with my friend, Richard.

-Hello!
-Werner.

I'm so sorry
that I'm make them away.

I'm just trying to speak
to Karen about something very important.

Yeah, but I'm telling you
about this very important work that she makes here with me.

-Okay.
-Because, you know, Gene Flicks...

-Yeah.
-Yeah, we are selling the company to the Chinese

because they make
much better factories as us.

Well, I can talk all day
about this, but unfortunately...

Well, I want
a little bit of therapy.

Can I tell you a story
from before a long time?

Is it a short story?

I was a little boy
in the east of Germany,

and I come from school-time
with a little friend for me.

And my mother, she is there.

And she say, "Hello, hello."
And my mother, she is...

only the breasts.

She don't have a blouse on her,
she don't have breast holders,

she is only the breasts
and she is smoking.

And I am so shock.

I look at my friend next to me,

and he makes already
the hangman in his pants,

and you know,
he go in the bathroom,

yeah, his hand
is probably 200 kilometer.

From then on,
I am the kid with the only-the-breast mama.

I don't know
what you say to this but...

Karen, she is to me,
a little bit,

a little bit only the breasts.

RICHARD: Wow.

Well, Werner, I...

Could you get Karen
to just give me a call?

-Yeah.
-Would that be okay? Thank you.

-I'll do that
-All right. Thank you. Bye now.

[Ringing]

Fuck!

-Richard.
-Jon?

What do you want?

-Mum's been in hospital.
-Oh, fuck she's a cold one.

-She's not dead.
-Oh, good.

We need to decide
what to do with our mother

because she can't live
on her own any more.

Oh, for fucks sake, Richard,
just strap on a pair if you can't grow them!

Here we go again!

Jonny, can you get
the football from next door?

Jonny, can you go
to the Toya concert with me?

You enjoyed that Toya concert!

It was all right,
but not a patch on Blondie.

Can you come here
today at 3 o'clock?

Can I fuck?

You, me and Katherine,
we need to decide what to do

-and we're gonna call you...
-Listen!

Katherine's got no room?

I'm in the middle
of fucking nowhere.

-You have a huge house.
Deal with it! -I can't. I can't!

-I can't.
-Incoming!

[Explosion]

[Clamouring]

[Indistinct screams]

I've got to go.
I'll try and leave my laptop on for you.

[Static sounds]

[Indistinct]

[Beep]

Hello, darling.
Sorry I missed you.

I'm on lunch
and Werner's out of the office.

So, uh, just to say I miss you
and I'm sorry I'm not around again tonight.

I know how hard it is
with the kids.

Keep trying and um,
yeah, I'll be home.

I don't know when,
but I'll be home.

And I love you.

[Ringing]

-Neil, hello.
-Hello.

Welcome to your
first therapy session.

I'm looking forward to this.
I think we're gonna have a...

a cracking time.

So, let's just begin if I may.
Just tell me a little bit about your family.

When I was about 15,
I'd sex with my mum.

-Just been out drinking,
you know. -Who? You?

-Yeah, both of us, yeah.
-Yeah.

Did you have
brothers and sisters?

I do, yeah. I mean,
we're very close in age.

Lots of cousins.
I used to have sex with my cousins as well.

Well, it sounded like
you all kept very busy.

Then there's my stepdad as well.

-Okay.
-Well, he was weak.

-You sense that,
don't you, when you're a kid? -Yeah.

So I started
to poison him a bit.

Grinding up painkillers
and putting it in his tea and stuff like that.

-How's he now?
-I didn't kill him.

-No, no, no. I was just...
-But I did dose him with rat poison once.

-Right.
-He had a seizure, but they knew it was me.

They found me.
So I accused him of fiddling with me.

-Had he been fiddling?
-No, no, no.

-Right.
-But that's how I got out of it.

That's how I discovered
I'm quite a good liar.

Right. Were you happy
with your own company?

Yeah. I'm still like that now.

You like to be on your own?

When I spoke to you, first time,
I instantly wanted to

go around and break your legs.

-Right. Yeah.
-But I didn't.

I took loads of coke
and went to a strip club.

So that chilled me out a bit.

I just got to say thank you.

You've been
very honest with me. You've been very open.

I used to take
nude pictures of me uncle.

Right. Can we
look at that next time?

Not the pictures,
but just the topic.

Thank you.
Thank you for your honesty. That was a terrific session.

I'll make a note of it,
so we can adjust my debt to you accordingly.

And let's get together
very soon for the next session.

-All right.
-Cheers, Neil. Bye.

Fuck!

Oh, shit.

[Gunshot]

[Video game sounds]

[Ringing]

Hello?

-Hi.
-Hi!

-Hello.
-Is it Jane Ross?

-Yes, Jane.
-Hi.

-I see,
is that a cot behind you? -Yes.

Yeah, yeah, I have a...

Oh, wow.

-Oh, my goodness.
-Quite a lot of baby in there.

-So is that cot for that baby?
-Hopefully, yeah.

-You don't have...
-No, no. I don't have any more. No, this is my first.

I thought you might be
the person who witnesses my waters breaking and has to

come and take me
to the hospital.

Because I haven't got
anyone else to do that.

You're on your own.
Is that what you're saying?

I think in life, we're never
really on our own, even if we're on our own.

-But are you on your own?
-I have a dog. I have a dog.

-Oh, you have a dog.
-And the father of the baby

was just this guy
I was at work with.

Sadly, he had to go.
He was transferred to Portsmouth, so...

Which I know isn't too far,
but he felt it was too far, so.

I'm completely happy
and really excited about doing it all on my own.

Great.

So, are your parents
excited about the baby?

Um, I'm sure they would be.

They unfortunately
are not with us any more.

They passed away together
about five years ago.

-They passed away together?
-It was really lovely.

It was a beautiful story really.
And they just thought, you know,

"We're on a cliff.
Let's go for it."

-They jumped off
a cliff together? -Yeah.

Sweet.

How have you and the rest
of your family dealt with that?

-Um...
-Is there a "rest of your family"?

-Yes, I've got a sister.
-Oh, great. Great.

-Are you close?
-Yeah, we're very close.

I see her every day
at the moment.

So yeah, we're great.

She's into the baby?

-Well, she doesn't really
know about it yet. -She doesn't know?

-Somewhere in there,
she knows about the baby. -Why? Where is she?

She is in a coma.

She's in a coma?

Um, she was
attacked in the Congo...

Um, by a rebel army.

-She was attacked by an army?
-She's absolutely fine. She's just in a coma.

That's not technically,
absolutely fine.

Three of her friends died.
So, compared to them, she's absolutely fine.

I suppose that's what I mean.

Do you mind if we do a
little bit of word association?

-Oh, my God, I love words.
-First thing that comes into your head.

-Okay, yeah, yeah, amazing.
-Yeah.

So, um...

-Tree.
-Abandonment.

-Car.
-Leave.

-Pineapple.
-Grief.

-Wall.
-Everywhere.

-Grave.
-Deep.

Tears.

Coming.

-Cry.
-No.

-Now.
-No.

-Cry.
-No.

-Now. Cry.
-No. No.

Good.

That's good.

Uh...

so, more sessions?

There are places that people go,
and it's specifically for...

-[Ringing]
-...alcohol abusers,

who don't know,
and who can no longer think.

You're late.

Yeah, that's because
somebody didn't turn up quite on time.

-Any resolution made?
-No.

This is the situation.

Mum needs
somewhere to live.

I can't afford to have her here.
So, what are we gonna do?

Who has a spare bedroom
and lives nearby?

-Ah, point.
-KATHERINE: She hates me.

She hates me.
If she wanted to live with me, she would have asked.

She didn't ask
to live with any of us.

Yeah, I think she wants
to live with you, mate.

Why can't she live
with you, daddy pig?

Have a wit, will ya?
Look where I am.

-Where are you?
-I can't say.

-What's he doing?
-I have no idea.

Why don't we phone back
when the farmer takes away the food bucket?

All right.

-Someone's gonna
have to clear that up. -Get on with it.

Okay, this is why she does not
wanna come and live with me.

MOTHER: You're spiteful,
you're cowardly, you're nasty.

-You don't care about me.
-Fair enough.

You never have.
You resented me from your first breath.

-That's true.
-That is true.

I don't know
how you sleep at night.

How do you sleep at night?
How will you sleep at night

-if you don't take her in?
-Why would I take her in, Richard?

-Yeah, Richard, come on.
-She's our mother, that's why!

-She's your mother as well.
-Look, just take her, Richard,

-and stop
this fucking pretence. -What pretence?

That you've no money.
That you can't have her there.

-I can't take her in.
-Is this about the breastfeeding?

-What breastfeeding?
-That you weren't breastfed and I was.

You were breastfed
till you were six.

-No.
-You once told me to bugger off while you were being breastfed.

Now, if a child
can tell you to bugger off,

it should not be
suckling at a teat.

Okay, is there
a compromise to be had here?

Why doesn't she just come
and live with Richard, you know, for now.

-That's not a compromise.
-For now.

-Come on, Rich.
-I think we're on one side for this one.

-I can't.
-Come on, Dicky.

Richard, look at me.
Look at me, look at me!

I'm looking at you,
you big, fucking donkey.

I love you. I think
you're doing us a huge favour.

It won't be forgotten.
And when I get a chance,

I'll pay you back.

So, sorted?
Can I go now?

All right, Jon.
Nice to see you.

-You, too.
-You two are so...

-Okay, bye. Yeah.
-Hopefully see you soon.

Hello, it's Adam?
Is it Adam?

Uh, yeah, hello.

So, I'm looking
for a carer for my mother,

and I'm wondering
if you could tell me a bit about yourself.

-Well, I got lots of experience
with caring for people. -Okay.

I mean, like,
I've cared for my mum. My poor mum, when she was ill.

-How is she now?
-She died.

Right.

-She's not infirm or anything...
-Yeah.

It's more like,
we need a minder almost.

-Yeah.
-Because she has a little bit of an issue with alcohol.

Yeah, so do I.

I've got another job.
I think I'll see about working in a bar.

So you're just after
a job, really.

It's not a vocation, caring.

It's just for the money.

It's like caring, you know,

because you're looking out
for punters as you're giving them pints.

Yeah.

I'm driven, I'm very caring.
I'm all for being bubbly.

Bubbly and chatty.
Larger than life sort of character, me.

-Yeah.
-Friendly.

I've got a job.

I'll be in touch.

Because I think
you've got a lot of great qualities, clearly.

And thank you so much
for taking the time.

Thank you, thank you.
Have a good day.

Yeah, cheers.

-Hello?
-Hello, Mr. Pitt?

My name is Jose Duran.

-I am responsible, reliable.
I have never been in jail. -Good, good, good.

Have you ever cared
for anyone before?

Yes, I care about
a lot of people.

-You've got the job.
-Oh, great!

-When? Great.
-Tomorrow?

-It is a live-in position, yeah?
-Live-in, yeah.

-Live-in.
-Great, great.

-Okay, I've got to go.
-Talk to you tomorrow?

-I'll email you some stuff.
-Oh, brilliant.

-And so, I buy the ticket
and you will reimburse me? -Yeah, buy it. Buy it.

-Buy a ticket.
Bye. I've got to go. -See you tomorrow.

-Bye.
-Okay, bye.

[Ringing]

WERNER: Ah, ah, ah...

Ya, hello.

Oh, did I call a wrong number?

No, it's me.
It's Werner.

You don't know me?

I do. It's just that
I thought I phoned Karen.

You are very beautiful
as always, Richard.

And so,
it does me a lot of pain

-to say you this now,
but we have situation... -Okay.

Very bad.
Karen is uh, I have the nose full

of the steam.

And because I follow her
in the bathroom,

suddenly this is not good.

Yeah, she say something to me
and it's for me a hammer.

And so I call a friend for me.
He's not a friend.

He's a Russian.
He's a psychopath, a killer.

And he make her away.
And I say that's good.

-You killed her on the toilet.
-No, we've kidnapped her.

-Hi, Richie.
-And she is in a bag,

and we have the cameras,
but you must pay.

Okay. I'll pay.

-So that we don't make...
-Of course I'll pay. I love her. I need to talk to you, Karen.

-Do you want it...
-RICHARD: Privately.

Make yourself free.

No, I mean, can we talk?

-I'll call back then.
-RICHARD: Okay, fine.

Mr. Pitt, before you go,
how excited are you about karaoke night?

-I couldn't be more excited.
-I'm sure it's gonna be amazing.

-Okay.
-Take a video.

-See you. Have fun.
-I'll see a video of that.

-Bye.
-Take a video.

[Ringing]

Neil? Neil, hello.

I haven't got long,
but I just wanted to call you because I've been thinking about

-the session.
-Right.

-It was great.
-Really?

I talked my mouth off to you.
I'm surprised at how good it was.

-because it's really
opened me eyes. -Oh, Neil.

I just wanna say thanks, mate.

Hey, my pleasure.

I was thinking about
all the money you owe me and the situation we're in.

-Right.
-You know, that money hanging over...

This... It changes things,
doesn't it?

-It does. It does.
-It's something I really realised, too.

It's hanging over
the whole process.

-It really is.
-Yeah, it is.

And it's making me
feel awkward not knowing.

-And it's making you
feel awkward. -It is.

What's important
in this situation is that we have a good relationship.

-Yes!
-that is not clouded by things like money.

That's right.

And so,
I've been thinking about that.

I've come to a decision.
It's quite a difficult one.

But I've come to the decision
that I think you should just pay me back in full right away.

Just so we don't have
that burden hanging over us.

But, I've got to go.
Listen, ta-da.

[Beeps]

[Ringing]

Thank you
for taking this call.

I'm sorry,
this is out of the blue.

-I've done something
really stupid. -Bob Dylan.

"You cannot be wise
and in love at the same time."

Right. Thank you.

Are you in love?

Yeah. I love my wife.

-But?
-No, I try to compete with her.

I try to be a success
to prove my worth.

Do you conquer her vulva?

I'm all over her vulva.

Tongue or penis, or both?

-Whatever's at hand.
-Hand?

-Third option.
-You know, whatever it takes to show her that I love her.

That's very healthy, Richard.

That area is in a good place.

And actually,
thinking about it makes me feel pretty good.

So, in the bed,
you feel that you've got balloons sized testicles,

and an enormous phallus.

Is that the contradiction
that we're talking about here?

Yes, I think that's it.
I think you've hit it on the head.

My bed is my domain.
In bed, I'm Aslan in Narnia.

-Mmm-hmm.
-In the world,

-I'm...
-Rumpelstiltskin.

-Yeah.
-Height impaired, powerless, and very, very angry.

Yeah.

You feel in your family

-that you're surrounded
by a giant of a father... -Yeah.

-A monstrous giant
of a brother. -And I am...

the angry little troll.

David and Goliath, you will win.
You will win.

'Cause as Mahatma Gandhi said,

"First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you, then they fight you,

"and then you win."

And you are winning,
by talking about it.

[Sniffling]

You feel you've been
emotionally butt-fucked by your entire family.

Yeah, yeah,
since the age of six.

-This is an
incredible breakthrough. -It is.

The first time
you have broken down like this.

-Yeah. Yeah.
-In many, many years.

That's a very good thing.

Embrace it.

Thank you.

As Taylor Swift said,
"Shake it off."

Shake it off.

I'm gonna take Mum in,
and it's all sorted.

-She's gonna move in here.
-I know.

-Ricky!
-Mum!

-You're the whole package,
aren't you? -Please stop thanking me.

-It's embarrassing now.
-I don't mean it.

-I've got all this
and it means nothing. -[Groaning]

-Who says
I've stopped having children? -RICHARD: Vasectomies.

Oh, Jesus!

You're trying to suggest
that she didn't care, Richard.

Nigel has been
popping himself into other people's cubby holes.

Well, first and foremost,
you are a very anal being.

♪ 'Cause the players gonna
play, play, play, play, play ♪

♪ And the haters gonna
hate, hate, hate, hate, hate ♪

♪ Baby, I'm just gonna shake
shake, shake, shake, shake ♪

♪ I shake it off
I shake it off ♪

♪ Heartbreakers gonna break
break, break, break, break ♪

♪ And the fakers gonna
fake, fake, fake, fake, fake ♪

♪ Baby, I'm just gonna shake
shake, shake, shake, shake ♪

♪ I shake it off
I shake it off ♪

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