Original subtitles

(cuckoo chimes)

(upbeat music)

(phone rings)

- [Secretary] As per your instructions, Mr. C

we have tracked down

the happiest place in the known universe.

I have just emailed a photo of it to you.

- The happiest place hm?

Well not for long.

(humming)

- Who says doing chores can't be fun?

(clock ticking)

(alarm blares) (yelling)

(grunting)

(choral music)

- Wow, my favorite breakfast!

- Mine too, thanks Gummy.

- Something tells me today is gonna be...

- [Both] An incredibly happy day!

- Well, that makes it unanimous.

Tadah, 'cause I'm feeling happy happy happy too!

- Well I feel crabby.

Maybe even crabbier than usual.

- [Secretary] You wanted to be annoyed by me sir?

- Yes.

(cuckoo chimes)

It's time to announce the contest.

- Enchanted, your ladyship.

How's our budget working out Harry?

- Well, by my latest calculations

we've got enough to last forever.

As long as we don't buy anything,

do anything, or go anywhere.

(gasps)

- Does that mean my yacht and new set

of solid gold nunchucks are out?

- They do say the best things in life are free.

- I'm not even sure we can afford those.

- Oh man, I wish there was some way

we could get our paws on some moolah.

- [Reporter] And the contest winner

will receive a prize of one gajillion smackers!

(cash register dings)

- Oops, sorry.

- Turn it back on! - Turn it back on!

- Turn it back on! - Turn it back on!

- [Both] Turn it back on!

- [Reporter] I'll repeat, today eccentric sourpuss

bajillionaire Grumpy McCrab

who's been trying for years to make fun illegal

announced a contest with whoever can last longest

without singing, dancing, laughing, or smiling,

taking home a grand prize of one gajilliion smackers!

(cash register dings)

- A gajillion!

- [Reporter] Having identified the happiest corner

of the known universe with the help

of his extremely annoying secretary,

the contest will be restricted

to one single apartment building.

- Hey guys!

That's our apartment building!

Yep.

- So, to recap, the contest winner

will be whoever lasts longest without singing,

dancing, laughing, or smiling.

- Oops.

Top gum, I love contests!

(crashing)

(chuckles)

Hey, let's all do a song and dance

to celebrate our partnership that's sure to win.

- Gummy, if we did a dance to celebrate winning,

then we'd automatically lose.

- But we'd still have fun dancing, right?

- Contestants, welcome to the first annual crab-a-thon.

Now I can tell you all from years of personal experience

that being crabby has many advantages.

You don't waste time having fun,

friends don't drop by uninvited or invited

come to think of it, and you

get to spend a lot of great alone time,

especially on holidays and on your birthday.

- Those were advantages?

- So, like the little birdy says,

let the contest begin and may the crabbiest one win!

- Actually, the little birdy said cuckoo cuckoo!

(laughs)

- First one eliminated!

(upbeat music)

♪ You may be happy but don't show it ♪

♪ Better hold that love or you'll blow it ♪

♪ Don't crack a smile or you're losing the game ♪

♪ These are the rules what a shame ♪

♪ Don't tell a joke and don't giggle ♪

♪ Don't act out funny and don't wiggle ♪

♪ I'm trying hard to keep a serious face ♪

♪ So I can win the first place ♪

♪ Don't haha the rules are the rules ♪

♪ Don't laugh don't smile you got to stay cool ♪

♪ Don't haha the rules are the rules ♪

♪ Don't haha hahahahaha ♪

(phone rings)

- [Secretary] How's the contest going

your supreme crabbiness?

- So far seven have been eliminated

which leaves five left.

And frankly I'm surprised that perky little green bear

is still in the running.

- [Reporter] And as the crabathon enters its next stage,

five remaining contestants are proving

that when it comes to being crabby,

these sourpusses have got what it takes.

- Man, this crabby stuff is tougher than I thought.

- Look, maybe we have to be all sour and gloomy

out in public, but there's no stopping us from smiling

and laughing and dancing a little in private.

- What in private?

(cameras whirring)

- You know, this having no fun

really isn't any fun at all.

- And as the crabathon moves into the final stage grump-off,

five poor contestants remain.

(laughs)

- Yay, I made it to the finals!

- Another one eliminated!

- Well darn and double darn!

- [Reporter] And with only four contestants left,

the contest moves into its climactic big grump-off!

(upbeat music)

(laughs)

- Out out out!

And since our last three survivors

have entered the competition as a team,

we have a winner!

- [All] Yay!

- Well I feel crabby, maybe even crabbier than usual.

So, to recap, the contest winner

will be whoever lasts longest without singing,

dancing, laughing, or smiling.

(humming)

Hey, this feels kinda nice!

- Well if you really like that,

something tells me you're going to love this!

♪ Oh I'm a gummy bear yes I'm a gummy bear ♪

♪ Oh I'm a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear ♪

♪ I'm a ♪