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1
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♪ Hump me, fuck me ♪
2
00:00:06,925 --> 00:00:08,592
♪ Daddy, better make me choke ♪
3
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,425
♪ You better ♪
♪ Hump me, fuck me ♪
4
00:00:11,508 --> 00:00:13,217
♪ My tunnel loves to deep throat ♪
5
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,550
♪ It do ♪
♪ Lick, lick, lick, lick ♪
6
00:00:15,633 --> 00:00:18,092
♪ I lick it ♪
♪ I wanna eat your dick ♪
7
00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:20,583
♪ I do ♪
♪ But I can't fuck up my nails ♪
8
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:23,875
♪ I can't ♪
♪ So I'mma pick it up with chopsticks ♪
9
00:00:23,967 --> 00:00:26,342
♪ Mouth wide open, mouth wide open ♪
10
00:00:26,425 --> 00:00:30,050
♪ Mouth wide
open like I was at the dentist ♪
11
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:31,675
So, does anybody think
maybe we should involve
12
00:00:31,734 --> 00:00:32,757
any kind of adult?
13
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,836
Most adults I can think of would
actually just make this worse.
14
00:00:34,914 --> 00:00:37,217
I think we just have to pull
a Greta Thunberg and step up.
15
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,467
Oh, my God. Greta Thunberg is so funny.
16
00:00:39,550 --> 00:00:42,842
Just like how she says
everything really deadpan.
17
00:00:42,925 --> 00:00:46,092
Isn't that because she's autistic?
18
00:00:46,175 --> 00:00:47,883
Oh.
19
00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:55,550
Thanks for letting us come.
20
00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:59,508
- It's really nice of you to be so nice.
- Yeah, no, of course.
21
00:01:07,592 --> 00:01:09,383
You ready?
22
00:01:15,282 --> 00:01:18,403
23
00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:25,800
But why San Francisco?
24
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And to spend money on a hotel
where it's freezing.
25
00:01:28,217 --> 00:01:29,383
It's not freezing.
26
00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:31,883
It's for a field trip for a club I'm in.
27
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What club?
28
00:01:33,842 --> 00:01:35,133
Hello? What club?
29
00:01:35,217 --> 00:01:36,717
- Film club.
- Film club?
30
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,467
That's a new one.
I mean, is there anything else
31
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I should know about my daughter
before I come home?
32
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Ay, cabrona, ¿no le dijiste?
33
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You're gonna be a grandmother.
34
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Oh, my God. Stop.
35
00:01:49,383 --> 00:01:50,883
She's kidding. Stop.
36
00:01:50,967 --> 00:01:53,008
If you do that to me again...
37
00:01:54,401 --> 00:01:56,568
Oh, look at that ugly thing.
38
00:01:56,675 --> 00:01:58,008
Calm down. It's just a hat.
39
00:01:58,092 --> 00:02:00,217
Hey, mira, maybe your rich friends
40
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:01,967
at film club talk
to their mothers that way,
41
00:02:02,050 --> 00:02:04,258
but you're not gonna talk
to me that way, okay?
42
00:02:04,342 --> 00:02:06,717
Not everyone gets to go to a good school
43
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,633
and to go to special field trips.
44
00:02:08,717 --> 00:02:10,217
You could be cleaning houses
45
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,550
or doing all kinds of work
that you would hate.
46
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,842
Sorry, Mami.
47
00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:16,342
I'm sorry too, mija.
48
00:02:16,425 --> 00:02:17,883
I just miss you.
49
00:02:17,967 --> 00:02:19,258
And I want you to know that I love you.
50
00:02:19,342 --> 00:02:21,800
I love you, too, and I miss you, too.
51
00:02:21,883 --> 00:02:23,175
And that's a boys' hat.
52
00:02:23,258 --> 00:02:25,175
So tell your tia
that clothes is one area
53
00:02:25,258 --> 00:02:27,300
that I expect
a little bit more from her.
54
00:02:27,382 --> 00:02:28,799
I can't fix all your damage.
55
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,508
- What do you expect?
- When I get home...
56
00:02:30,592 --> 00:02:32,008
and the lawyer says it'll be soon...
57
00:02:32,092 --> 00:02:33,717
there's gonna be some real changes.
58
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,342
Like, big changes, okay?
59
00:02:35,425 --> 00:02:38,342
Mamita, I got to go, okay?
60
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,342
I love you.
61
00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:44,675
No. No, no, no. No, stop
sign, stop sign, stop sign!
62
00:02:44,758 --> 00:02:46,633
- I know.
- Cripes.
63
00:02:46,717 --> 00:02:47,883
You have got to stop doing that.
64
00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,383
- Doing what?
- Stopping like that.
65
00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,717
How am I stopping?
66
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,175
Like you're not going to.
67
00:02:53,258 --> 00:02:55,217
- Except I did.
- You did, yes, at the end.
68
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,217
- You are so stressful.
- It is so soft. I die.
69
00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,592
I use Sleek & Shine leave-in.
70
00:02:59,675 --> 00:03:01,050
My hand is orgasming.
71
00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:03,175
All right, c-can you maybe
not right now while I'm driving?
72
00:03:03,258 --> 00:03:04,648
- Naomi, focus.
- Yeah, rude.
73
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,092
- Do you hear your son in the back?
- How is it you two
74
00:03:06,175 --> 00:03:07,717
can be so sweet to
each other one minute,
75
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,050
and then a split second later,
76
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:11,584
- you're biting each other's heads off?
- You're changing the subject
77
00:03:11,678 --> 00:03:13,300
because you obviously do hear him.
78
00:03:13,375 --> 00:03:14,443
You just don't care
'cause it's with a girl.
79
00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:16,163
- I am tired of this.
- Mom, can she focus on driving,
80
00:03:16,187 --> 00:03:18,802
- so we don't die.
- Shut the bleeping fuck...
81
00:03:18,827 --> 00:03:22,724
- Naomi!
- Oh!
82
00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:24,823
Get out. I'm driving.
83
00:03:35,717 --> 00:03:37,425
- Naomi.
- What?
84
00:03:42,342 --> 00:03:45,050
Be careful this weekend,
and look out for your brother.
85
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:46,592
Why is that my responsibility?
86
00:03:46,675 --> 00:03:49,092
Because you are a very
responsible person,
87
00:03:49,175 --> 00:03:50,300
and I trust you.
88
00:03:50,383 --> 00:03:51,633
Excuse me.
89
00:03:51,717 --> 00:03:52,967
Should I rethink my decision
to let you go
90
00:03:53,050 --> 00:03:54,217
on this trip with your friends?
91
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,307
As far as I can tell,
92
00:03:55,393 --> 00:03:56,883
you barely even attend
meetings for this group.
93
00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:58,800
Fine, let him go with all the gay kids.
94
00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:00,209
I hope they make him really gay
95
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:01,758
and that he comes home
with a pierced ear.
96
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,550
It's my understanding that
there will be plenty
97
00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:05,467
of heterosexual children there.
98
00:04:05,550 --> 00:04:08,758
That is what I was told.
Was I misinformed?
99
00:04:08,842 --> 00:04:10,675
Honey, look, I know it's hard.
100
00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:13,217
And I do, I appreciate that, you know,
101
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,883
you might be feeling left out right now
102
00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:17,008
because your brother's
dating your best friend.
103
00:04:17,092 --> 00:04:18,675
- They're not dating.
- Yes, they are.
104
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,013
- They're definitely dating.
- Not really. No.
105
00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:21,341
- Yes, they definitely are.
- Not really.
106
00:04:21,412 --> 00:04:22,896
- They definitely are.
- They're not dating.
107
00:04:22,982 --> 00:04:26,773
Look, I see what's going on, okay?
108
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,425
I hear the sexy talk,
109
00:04:28,508 --> 00:04:31,070
which I'm not crazy about, okay?
110
00:04:31,124 --> 00:04:32,541
Obviously.
111
00:04:32,758 --> 00:04:35,717
But I'm looking on the
Mr. Brightside of it, you know?
112
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,800
I think maybe Nathan's finally
figured out what he wants.
113
00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:40,592
So just watch out for him.
114
00:04:40,675 --> 00:04:42,300
So you want him to hook up with Arianna
115
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,550
so you can think that
he's not the gay part of bi.
116
00:04:44,633 --> 00:04:46,592
You just don't want him
to hook up too much.
117
00:04:46,675 --> 00:04:48,925
I mean, you know, uh,
118
00:04:49,008 --> 00:04:51,092
those aren't the exact words
I would've chosen.
119
00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:53,342
It is literally so unfair.
120
00:04:53,425 --> 00:04:55,550
You wanting them to hook up
when you know you'd chew me
121
00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:58,008
for the same exact thing,
it is so hypocritical.
122
00:04:58,092 --> 00:05:00,217
- It is not hypocritical.
- How?
123
00:05:00,292 --> 00:05:03,058
Because I don't need
to explain it, okay?
124
00:05:03,138 --> 00:05:04,371
God is my judge here.
125
00:05:04,448 --> 00:05:05,573
I wish you could hear yourself
right now.
126
00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:07,473
- You'd hate it. Can I go now?
- You know what?
127
00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:10,258
I do hear myself... all the time.
128
00:05:10,342 --> 00:05:12,508
And you know what else? I do hate it.
129
00:05:12,592 --> 00:05:13,550
And guess what else.
130
00:05:13,633 --> 00:05:14,800
There's another thing.
131
00:05:14,883 --> 00:05:16,800
I'm the parent!
132
00:05:23,592 --> 00:05:25,550
Look at her.
133
00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:27,342
Your girlfriend looks like
she's Pocahontas modeling
134
00:05:27,425 --> 00:05:29,008
for Teen Vogue.
135
00:05:29,092 --> 00:05:31,175
I bet this whole trip is so you
can get in her pants, huh?
136
00:05:31,258 --> 00:05:32,800
She's not my girlfriend.
137
00:05:32,883 --> 00:05:35,508
As of and since when, bitch?
138
00:05:37,217 --> 00:05:40,175
No, no, no, do not let
your mother get in your head.
139
00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:42,800
How? Just, like, how?
140
00:05:42,883 --> 00:05:45,425
She's gonna come back,
and it's gonna suck.
141
00:05:45,508 --> 00:05:47,092
It just is.
142
00:05:47,175 --> 00:05:49,675
Even today, even when she's not here
143
00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:51,675
she has to control everything.
144
00:05:51,758 --> 00:05:54,800
How am I supposed to live
my life when she comes back?
145
00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:56,758
Why would I even go down this road
146
00:05:56,842 --> 00:05:58,342
when it literally just can't happen?
147
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,967
Okay, chula, I'm getting
very impatient with you.
148
00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:04,217
If you want to go out there
and be unhappy
149
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:06,758
because you're scared
of getting what you want,
150
00:06:06,842 --> 00:06:09,758
be my guest.
151
00:06:09,842 --> 00:06:10,967
Share these.
152
00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:12,050
Okay?
153
00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,467
I love you. Now, get out.
154
00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:17,467
I need to get Angel's truck back to him.
155
00:06:17,550 --> 00:06:20,758
Have fun on your boring field trip.
156
00:06:20,842 --> 00:06:22,258
If you end up at Twin Peaks Tavern
157
00:06:22,342 --> 00:06:24,425
and meet a bouncer named Ken,
158
00:06:24,508 --> 00:06:26,425
tell him he can suck my clit.
159
00:06:28,967 --> 00:06:31,092
Aww, I wanted to say hi to Ana.
160
00:06:31,117 --> 00:06:32,150
Sorry.
161
00:06:32,175 --> 00:06:33,192
Are you okay?
162
00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:35,092
You seem kind of somber.
163
00:06:35,175 --> 00:06:37,258
Mm, family shit.
164
00:06:37,342 --> 00:06:38,592
Oh.
165
00:06:38,675 --> 00:06:41,425
- Is everything...
- I don't...
166
00:06:41,508 --> 00:06:43,383
I don't really want to get into it.
167
00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:44,800
Sorry.
168
00:06:44,883 --> 00:06:46,300
Okay.
169
00:06:46,383 --> 00:06:48,425
Be discreet.
170
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,717
Vanessa-Lynn Dolorian?
171
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:51,967
That sounds so fake.
172
00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:53,550
Kelsey Johnston?
173
00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:54,758
Kelsey?
174
00:06:54,842 --> 00:06:56,800
Not even, like, Lopez or something?
175
00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,508
Babies, come here.
176
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,633
Come here, come here.
Get on, get on, get on.
177
00:07:00,717 --> 00:07:01,883
Okay, after bed check,
178
00:07:01,967 --> 00:07:03,717
we are individually meeting at BART
179
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,508
by the hotel,
then heading to the Mission.
180
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,008
There are a bunch of bars down there
181
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:08,342
that my cousin says are super cool,
182
00:07:08,425 --> 00:07:11,758
so we'll have our
"Girls Gone Wild" moment,
183
00:07:11,842 --> 00:07:14,550
and then hopefully
not get mugged and murdered,
184
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,967
and be back by 2:30. Boom.
185
00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:21,133
And, J, you are our Jesus
for getting these.
186
00:07:21,217 --> 00:07:23,258
Tigers, everybody, gather.
187
00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:25,717
Let's focus up. Come on.
188
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,633
All right. There you go.
189
00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:29,467
Don't leave anything behind.
190
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,800
San Francisco.
191
00:07:31,883 --> 00:07:33,675
Here we come, huh?
192
00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:35,967
All right, claws up.
193
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:38,092
Look at him. He just drops everything.
194
00:07:38,175 --> 00:07:40,342
I love it. All right, big day, folks.
195
00:07:40,425 --> 00:07:42,175
We are taking this bus to San Fran
196
00:07:42,258 --> 00:07:46,258
to see our very special
screening of "Paris Is Burning"
197
00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:49,008
and a Q&A with
Jennie Livingston herself.
198
00:07:49,092 --> 00:07:51,967
Now, we're gonna stop for lunch,
and after that we might even
199
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:54,508
get to visit a place
next door called Ostrichville.
200
00:07:54,592 --> 00:07:57,508
Guys, it is a huge
privilege to be doing this.
201
00:07:57,592 --> 00:07:59,008
Okay, if we want to do it every year,
202
00:07:59,092 --> 00:08:00,508
we need to be adults today,
203
00:08:00,592 --> 00:08:05,508
meaning no homicides, no
robberies, no armed batteries.
204
00:08:05,592 --> 00:08:07,133
- What about arson?
- Arson is okay.
205
00:08:07,217 --> 00:08:09,800
You can do a little bit
of arson, as a treat.
206
00:08:09,883 --> 00:08:11,967
So, uh, no crimes except arson.
207
00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,383
Um, listen to each other.
208
00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:15,842
Listen to Mrs. C and me
209
00:08:15,917 --> 00:08:18,604
and, basically,
don't be fucking assholes. Okay?
210
00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:21,717
We promise not to be fucking assholes.
211
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,883
Oh, and no sneaking out.
212
00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:25,508
Nothing that's gonna get you hurt or me
213
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,758
in trouble with your parents.
214
00:08:26,842 --> 00:08:28,883
So what should we name the bus?
215
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,550
Miss Bus.
216
00:08:30,633 --> 00:08:32,133
Ooh, she's a lady.
217
00:08:32,217 --> 00:08:33,592
Oh, my God. Wait, wait.
218
00:08:33,675 --> 00:08:35,217
The bussy.
219
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:37,967
Everyone, get inside this bussy.
220
00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:40,300
Wow, 15 of us in 1 bussy.
221
00:08:40,383 --> 00:08:42,550
- That's a wide open bussy.
- You're insane.
222
00:08:42,633 --> 00:08:45,397
- I hope this bussy doesn't stink.
- What's a bussy?
223
00:08:45,398 --> 00:08:46,883
- And we're done with this.
- I've never heard that expression.
224
00:08:46,908 --> 00:08:47,942
Okay, let's go.
225
00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:49,508
- Seniority.
- Juniority.
226
00:08:49,592 --> 00:08:52,342
Juniority gets back seats.
227
00:08:52,425 --> 00:08:53,925
- Freshmen up front.
- Come on, let's go.
228
00:08:54,008 --> 00:08:57,800
Let's make this easy on us.
229
00:08:57,883 --> 00:08:59,758
Be cool.
230
00:09:02,383 --> 00:09:04,050
Sit with us. We need a bodyguard
231
00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:06,425
against my literal evil twin.
232
00:09:06,508 --> 00:09:08,675
Okay.
233
00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:10,967
Stuff your stuff way back in there,
234
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,425
way back in the bussy.
235
00:09:16,592 --> 00:09:19,925
See, I told you it'd fit.
236
00:09:20,008 --> 00:09:23,758
All right, looks like we are
all inside the bussy.
237
00:09:23,842 --> 00:09:26,425
Let's go.
238
00:09:26,508 --> 00:09:28,842
♪ Girl ♪
239
00:09:31,175 --> 00:09:34,425
♪ If they don't know your worth ♪
240
00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:40,467
♪ Tell 'em you're my girl ♪
241
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,425
♪ And anything you want is yours ♪
242
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:50,383
♪ Mm, yo ♪
243
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:54,758
♪ Passion burning ♪
244
00:09:55,717 --> 00:10:01,217
♪ Causing rapture of laughter ♪
245
00:10:03,717 --> 00:10:05,967
♪ Pressure building ♪
246
00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:08,592
Hey, Kelsey.
247
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:09,842
Don't remind me.
248
00:10:09,925 --> 00:10:12,300
Bitch, don't even. Look at this.
249
00:10:12,383 --> 00:10:13,967
Matt Schwartz.
250
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,592
Are you fucking kidding me?
251
00:10:15,675 --> 00:10:18,675
But it's also like, when life
gives you a white name,
252
00:10:18,758 --> 00:10:23,550
you sneak out,
and you go to the fucking club.
253
00:10:23,633 --> 00:10:27,467
And you're gonna be grinding with Riley.
254
00:10:27,550 --> 00:10:29,008
And I'm literally wet,
255
00:10:29,092 --> 00:10:31,633
thinking about you guys
sharing a bed after.
256
00:10:31,717 --> 00:10:33,675
I mean, no pressure or anything.
257
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,508
No, just, like,
if you don't get pussy tonight,
258
00:10:35,592 --> 00:10:37,175
you deserve eternal shame.
259
00:10:40,342 --> 00:10:42,758
You okay?
260
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,467
'Cause, like, at least you got
261
00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:47,383
a lover you can bone if you wanted.
262
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:48,675
Wait.
263
00:10:48,758 --> 00:10:51,342
Are you into someone?
264
00:10:51,425 --> 00:10:53,508
- Always.
- Who?
265
00:10:53,592 --> 00:11:00,425
Just this guy from Grindr
who's older and bad for me.
266
00:11:00,508 --> 00:11:03,342
How much older?
267
00:11:03,425 --> 00:11:04,467
30.
268
00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:09,050
So, like, statutory vibes or whatever.
269
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:12,508
But it's just unfair 'cause,
like, I'm fine, you know?
270
00:11:12,592 --> 00:11:13,925
I can handle my shit.
271
00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,633
Like, it makes no sense
that it's rape now...
272
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:19,258
sorry... but in a year it's fine.
273
00:11:19,342 --> 00:11:21,383
Whatever.
274
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,217
I'm gonna find a new man
at the club tonight
275
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:26,050
and the pheromones will be off the chain
276
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,175
and he's gonna be obsessed with me,
277
00:11:28,258 --> 00:11:30,467
and I'm gonna forget about this.
278
00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:33,050
Ew, listen to me.
279
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,592
I'm not judging.
280
00:11:34,675 --> 00:11:37,925
Oh, you would be if I told you
the whole story.
281
00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:39,175
Well, now you have to tell me.
282
00:11:39,258 --> 00:11:41,717
No, I can't, I can't, I can't.
283
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,383
Anyways, I deleted the app.
284
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:44,592
Sorry, molesters.
285
00:11:44,675 --> 00:11:46,758
Chester the molester.
286
00:11:46,842 --> 00:11:47,883
Stop.
287
00:11:47,967 --> 00:11:50,675
I dare you to keep calling me that.
288
00:11:50,758 --> 00:11:51,758
Fuck me up.
289
00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:54,092
Have you pet his hair before?
290
00:11:54,175 --> 00:11:55,967
Try it. You'll cum.
291
00:11:55,992 --> 00:11:57,025
No, thank you.
292
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,758
Is September 8th a Virgo?
293
00:11:59,842 --> 00:12:01,758
What's your sign for real?
294
00:12:01,783 --> 00:12:03,717
- Um, Libra.
- Nice.
295
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:04,967
Wait, do we have to know our signs?
296
00:12:05,050 --> 00:12:06,592
Yes, we do have to know our signs.
297
00:12:06,675 --> 00:12:09,675
My friends got asked this
question, and they did not know.
298
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:12,550
They just froze,
and they were like, "Bye.
299
00:12:12,633 --> 00:12:14,633
We're gonna call the cops,
and we're gonna take your shit."
300
00:12:14,658 --> 00:12:18,029
- Fuck. Okay, I'm Scott...
- Yeah.
301
00:12:18,568 --> 00:12:20,558
- ...something from somewhere.
- Oh, God.
302
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,633
- Stop it.
- I'm Melanie Swanson.
303
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,792
You are going to get us so narc'd.
304
00:12:24,883 --> 00:12:27,342
Also, you look the youngest,
so if we get carded,
305
00:12:27,425 --> 00:12:29,133
that's already on you.
306
00:12:29,217 --> 00:12:31,467
Wait, isn't Delilah
also Melanie Swanson?
307
00:12:31,492 --> 00:12:32,526
Are you fucking kidding me?
308
00:12:32,573 --> 00:12:34,792
- Oh, my God.
- I do not look the youngest.
309
00:12:34,883 --> 00:12:36,784
- Yes, you do.
- Oh, baby, no.
310
00:12:36,863 --> 00:12:38,446
With this skin?
311
00:12:38,529 --> 00:12:40,237
Be happy.
312
00:12:47,383 --> 00:12:50,753
Is that the lady that whispers
in German and cuts up sand?
313
00:12:50,815 --> 00:12:52,925
@elisa-underscore-crinkles?
314
00:12:53,008 --> 00:12:54,592
- Do you follow her?
- I'm obsessed.
315
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,466
Have you seen the ones where
they scoop the purple sand?
316
00:12:57,550 --> 00:13:00,175
What? No, show me.
317
00:13:04,508 --> 00:13:06,633
Ah. God, I wish they'd stop soon.
318
00:13:06,717 --> 00:13:09,425
I have to pee so bad.
319
00:13:09,508 --> 00:13:11,633
Oh, why is this so satisfying?
320
00:13:11,717 --> 00:13:14,675
I know. I legit thought
I was the only person
321
00:13:14,758 --> 00:13:16,258
who liked this stuff.
322
00:13:16,342 --> 00:13:19,300
Besides, like, the 20 million viewers.
323
00:13:21,554 --> 00:13:23,304
Rude.
324
00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:32,503
What the hell?
325
00:13:32,592 --> 00:13:34,633
Was that you guys?
326
00:13:34,717 --> 00:13:36,175
I was like, "What the hell?"
327
00:13:38,925 --> 00:13:39,842
You guys want some?
328
00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:41,008
- Unh-unh.
- Ew.
329
00:13:41,092 --> 00:13:42,342
♪ Hit that pose, take that flick ♪
330
00:13:42,425 --> 00:13:45,800
- ♪ Check your angle, post that shit ♪
- Oh, my God. This fucking song!
331
00:13:45,883 --> 00:13:47,612
Just bury me right now!
332
00:13:47,698 --> 00:13:49,467
♪ Hit that pose, take that flick ♪
333
00:13:49,550 --> 00:13:51,217
♪ Check your angle, post that shit ♪
334
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,967
♪ Hit that pose, take that flick ♪
335
00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:55,092
♪ Check your angle, post that shit ♪
336
00:13:55,175 --> 00:13:57,050
♪ My bitch will get on the ground ♪
337
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,717
♪ Just to make sure the light is found ♪
338
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,425
♪ The way she make them angles hit ♪
339
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:02,008
♪ She like Bill Cunningham
with that shit ♪
340
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:03,467
♪ I mean that shot ♪
341
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:05,217
♪ Richard Avedon,
to make me look like a don ♪
342
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,592
♪ I got so many pieces,
bitch, why not? ♪
343
00:14:07,675 --> 00:14:09,425
♪ Have me a photo shoot
right on the block ♪
344
00:14:09,508 --> 00:14:11,050
♪ I put two lanes on gridlock ♪
345
00:14:11,133 --> 00:14:12,925
♪ So I could sit in a fierce squat ♪
346
00:14:13,008 --> 00:14:14,842
♪ Spent big money on a wristwatch ♪
347
00:14:14,925 --> 00:14:16,717
♪ I like to own tip-top ♪
348
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,217
♪ Catch me in McAir, click ♪
349
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:20,133
♪ The only make two pairs, click ♪
350
00:14:20,217 --> 00:14:22,133
♪ Get into this hair, click ♪
351
00:14:22,217 --> 00:14:24,008
♪ I'm Herb Ritts with the shit ♪
352
00:14:24,092 --> 00:14:25,779
♪ Go on, Diddy, crop that bitch ♪
353
00:14:25,857 --> 00:14:27,550
♪ Annie Leibovitz ♪
354
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:29,217
♪ Go on, Diddy, crop that bitch ♪
355
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,133
♪ I'm Herb Ritts with the shit ♪
356
00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:32,481
♪ Go on, Diddy, crop that bitch ♪
357
00:14:32,543 --> 00:14:36,217
- ♪ All through the town ♪
- ♪ Annie Leibovitz ♪
358
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:40,342
♪ The skanks on the
bussy go pound, pound, pound ♪
359
00:14:40,425 --> 00:14:42,300
♪ Pound, pound, pound ♪
360
00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:43,758
♪ Pound, pound, pound ♪
361
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:48,092
♪ The skanks on the bussy
go pound, pound, pound ♪
362
00:14:48,175 --> 00:14:51,467
♪ All through the town ♪
363
00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,758
♪ Go pound, pound, pound ♪
364
00:14:53,842 --> 00:14:57,008
♪ All through the town ♪
365
00:14:57,092 --> 00:15:01,675
Chiquita, hey, want to try some fruit?
366
00:15:01,758 --> 00:15:03,258
Why do you hate delicious fruit?
367
00:15:03,342 --> 00:15:04,925
Did a strawberry kill your father?
368
00:15:07,476 --> 00:15:08,925
Sonrisa bonita.
369
00:15:08,957 --> 00:15:11,578
No me gusta, pero gracias.
370
00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:12,929
Oh, ¿eres Méxicana?
371
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,500
Pienso que eres Francesa o Cubana.
372
00:15:14,555 --> 00:15:16,472
¿Cubana?
373
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:19,008
Chicana to the core, fool.
374
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:21,633
Lo siento mucho. Perdoname.
375
00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:24,209
- ¿De dónde eres?
- Yo soy de aquí.
376
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,133
Pero mi mamá es de Guadalajara.
377
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:29,217
Yo también. Hace cuatro años
en la universidad.
378
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:30,967
Estudiando como vender fruta.
379
00:15:32,342 --> 00:15:33,717
Vuelve después de comer, y te daré
380
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,342
el precio especial para tapatíos.
381
00:15:39,932 --> 00:15:41,581
Yo, MAGA alert.
382
00:15:41,651 --> 00:15:43,633
I repeat, MAGA alert.
383
00:15:43,717 --> 00:15:45,467
Shutting down all queer activity.
384
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:47,008
So this is the day I get murdered.
385
00:15:47,092 --> 00:15:49,425
Of everyone here, you're the one
who's gonna say that?
386
00:15:49,508 --> 00:15:50,758
I hope you're right, though.
387
00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:53,300
Go tell that guy you're bi.
388
00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:55,258
Why don't you go tell him
you're a virgin?
389
00:16:15,258 --> 00:16:16,842
Can I help you with something?
390
00:16:16,925 --> 00:16:19,008
You guys photographers?
391
00:16:19,092 --> 00:16:20,758
Fashion bloggers?
392
00:16:20,842 --> 00:16:22,717
'Cause I can't think of any other
appropriate reason for you
393
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,300
to take pictures of my kids right now.
394
00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:31,467
Okay, here we go.
395
00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:34,300
That's it. Plenty of room.
396
00:16:34,383 --> 00:16:36,092
Uh-oh.
397
00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:41,675
I have a feeling I'm about
to be a bad girl.
398
00:16:41,758 --> 00:16:44,592
It all looks too good. I'm doing it.
399
00:16:44,675 --> 00:16:47,925
Just don't tell Mrs. Culpepper.
400
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:51,717
Is she married?
Or is this a third-person thing?
401
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,633
Married.
402
00:16:53,717 --> 00:16:55,550
But if you're bad, I will tell on you.
403
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:57,050
I would not.
404
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:58,675
Oh, please. You would...
405
00:16:58,758 --> 00:17:01,133
You would absolutely fuck your clone.
406
00:17:01,217 --> 00:17:03,967
Not only that, actually,
you would film it
407
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,508
and then jerk off to it later.
408
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,133
Okay, you're totally right.
I would fuck my clone.
409
00:17:07,217 --> 00:17:08,592
At first, I thought I would, too,
410
00:17:08,675 --> 00:17:10,258
but I think if my pussy tastes weird
411
00:17:10,342 --> 00:17:12,300
- I'd rather not know.
- Wait, how about this one?
412
00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:14,715
Would you rather have sex
with your boyfriend
413
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,092
in your dad's body
414
00:17:16,175 --> 00:17:19,342
or have sex with your dad
in your boyfriend's body?
415
00:17:19,425 --> 00:17:21,300
- I love the Internet.
- Oh, God.
416
00:17:21,383 --> 00:17:24,092
I guess maybe Dad in boyfriend's body.
417
00:17:24,175 --> 00:17:25,633
'Cause, like, if it looked
like my boyfriend,
418
00:17:25,717 --> 00:17:27,133
I could just tell myself
that it's him, and, like,
419
00:17:27,217 --> 00:17:28,467
I don't know, fuck him
real quick, you know?
420
00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:30,258
What if he moves like your father?
421
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:31,967
What if he smells like your father?
422
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:34,329
You came to that conclusion
way too easily.
423
00:17:34,399 --> 00:17:36,508
- What about you?
- It's different for me.
424
00:17:36,592 --> 00:17:38,692
- Which dad?
- Does it matter?
425
00:17:38,717 --> 00:17:40,008
Is there one you'd rather have sex with?
426
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:41,508
Well, bitch, would you rather bottom
427
00:17:41,592 --> 00:17:43,092
for your dad or eat your mom's coochie?
428
00:17:43,175 --> 00:17:46,592
- Ugh, stop. I'm gonna gag.
- Yeah, on your dad's dick.
429
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,541
- No, that's not what I'm saying.
- We're not saying you're not people.
430
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:50,050
I'm not saying freshmen aren't people.
431
00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:51,425
I'm just saying, like,
when I was a freshman,
432
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:52,992
I was so fucking naive.
433
00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:54,842
- Oh, so naive.
- Like, I'm surprised an upperclassmen
434
00:17:54,867 --> 00:17:56,159
didn't straight-up murder me.
435
00:17:56,204 --> 00:17:57,434
- They should've just ended my life.
- Same.
436
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:58,967
If I had advice for you,
437
00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:02,092
it would probably be to respect
your elders, basically.
438
00:18:02,175 --> 00:18:03,592
Like, the juniors. Just, like, give them
439
00:18:03,675 --> 00:18:05,217
your place in line,
don't be in their way,
440
00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:06,800
or, like, if you get nachos at nutrition
441
00:18:06,883 --> 00:18:09,050
and a senior wants them,
just give them your nachos.
442
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:10,133
Or buy them nachos.
443
00:18:10,217 --> 00:18:11,383
Which is not hazing, by the way.
444
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:13,925
It's more of a circle-of-life thing.
445
00:18:14,008 --> 00:18:18,925
You're only sophomores, right?
446
00:18:19,008 --> 00:18:21,133
I don't get what you're saying.
447
00:18:21,217 --> 00:18:22,967
What? Were you ever a stoner?
448
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:25,675
Mnh-mnh. You know you can't ask me that.
449
00:18:25,758 --> 00:18:26,925
That's a yes.
450
00:18:27,008 --> 00:18:28,967
Okay, so, fine,
what can we ask you then?
451
00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:30,967
If it's boring, you can ask it.
452
00:18:30,992 --> 00:18:32,550
- If it's boring.
- Okay.
453
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,925
When did you know
454
00:18:35,008 --> 00:18:38,842
you wanted to be a guidance counselor?
455
00:18:38,925 --> 00:18:41,217
- But for real, when did you?
- Uh, for real, for real?
456
00:18:41,242 --> 00:18:42,784
You think you can just
waltz all up in here
457
00:18:42,883 --> 00:18:45,300
like Little Miss Social Worker
and give us nothing?
458
00:18:45,383 --> 00:18:46,758
The nerve of you.
459
00:18:46,842 --> 00:18:48,675
I mean, you be extracting
vulnerable stories from us
460
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:50,717
like you Mariah with the prosthetic nose
461
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,925
and we all Gabourey Sidibe.
462
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,800
This is all based on a novel
"Push" by Sapphire,
463
00:18:55,883 --> 00:18:58,217
which, for some reason,
is included in the title.
464
00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,925
It's already a long title.
465
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,967
Why did they need to include
that part, too?
466
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:04,258
You crack me up.
467
00:19:04,342 --> 00:19:06,175
I'll be here all day.
468
00:19:07,550 --> 00:19:11,508
Ah. Regresaste.
469
00:19:11,592 --> 00:19:13,842
¿Ya me perdonaste, chiquita?
470
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:21,217
Quería ver si ustedes quieren agua.
471
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:22,425
Hace mucho calor.
472
00:19:22,508 --> 00:19:24,508
No necesitamos agua.
473
00:19:26,217 --> 00:19:28,550
También tengo pan dulce.
474
00:19:28,633 --> 00:19:30,883
¿No te vas a comer esto?
475
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:35,717
Me llamo Greta.
476
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,550
Arturo. Mucho gusto.
477
00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:44,467
Voy a un paseo
con el grupo de mi escuela.
478
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,050
Ah, qué fancy.
479
00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:48,172
Field trip.
480
00:19:48,218 --> 00:19:50,008
Eres como mi mamá.
481
00:19:50,092 --> 00:19:51,823
Qué bueno, ¿no?
482
00:19:53,633 --> 00:19:56,153
Hey! iQuieren pan dulce!
483
00:19:56,178 --> 00:19:57,685
Gracias, señora.
484
00:19:59,383 --> 00:20:06,675
♪ I wonder what
the future holds for me ♪
485
00:20:08,334 --> 00:20:12,534
♪ I wonder if you'll always love me ♪
486
00:20:12,675 --> 00:20:14,092
Whereas, in Holland,
487
00:20:14,128 --> 00:20:15,675
monks made crude ale.
488
00:20:15,758 --> 00:20:18,592
Okay, if that doesn't tell you
about the US versus Europe,
489
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,925
I don't know what does, because
that's the way you do it.
490
00:20:22,008 --> 00:20:24,383
We have a great life here.
491
00:20:24,467 --> 00:20:30,675
♪ I wonder what
the future holds for me ♪
492
00:20:32,508 --> 00:20:40,258
♪ You said you would always be true ♪
493
00:20:40,342 --> 00:20:48,550
♪ And that you would
never make me blue ♪
494
00:20:48,633 --> 00:20:52,050
♪ Now you tell me lies ♪
495
00:20:52,133 --> 00:20:55,664
♪ So many alibis ♪
496
00:20:58,050 --> 00:21:00,342
This is porn.
497
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,800
Why can't these really be my ass?
498
00:21:02,883 --> 00:21:05,300
Can I get a close-up of you
with one of these shirts?
499
00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:07,425
Yes, yes.
500
00:21:09,057 --> 00:21:12,424
Mm.
501
00:21:15,252 --> 00:21:16,633
Aww.
502
00:21:16,717 --> 00:21:18,633
Ew, I look like I'm 10.
503
00:21:18,717 --> 00:21:20,383
Can I please keep it? Just for me?
504
00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:22,258
I promise I won't show it.
505
00:21:26,675 --> 00:21:28,967
Sorry I was weird this morning.
506
00:21:29,050 --> 00:21:30,467
Oh, no, th-that's fine. It's okay.
507
00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:32,342
It's just my mom.
508
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:36,217
Like, just everything
that's going on right now.
509
00:21:38,342 --> 00:21:40,133
I kind of get it.
510
00:21:46,758 --> 00:21:48,675
Aren't they beautiful?
511
00:21:48,758 --> 00:21:51,383
Not only are these birds
the world's fastest animal
512
00:21:51,467 --> 00:21:54,633
on two legs, they're the only
birds that have a bladder.
513
00:21:54,717 --> 00:21:56,008
Other birds don't have bladders?
514
00:21:56,092 --> 00:21:57,342
No, they have cloacas.
515
00:21:57,425 --> 00:21:59,633
Yeah, it's an all-purpose hole
is what that is.
516
00:21:59,717 --> 00:22:00,675
Goals.
517
00:22:00,758 --> 00:22:03,633
Ooh, grab your neck. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
518
00:22:03,717 --> 00:22:05,800
Strangle.
519
00:22:08,648 --> 00:22:09,857
What are you doing?
520
00:22:10,939 --> 00:22:14,350
- Stop.
- Ow, bit my face.
521
00:22:14,425 --> 00:22:16,008
She bring it to you every ball.
522
00:22:16,092 --> 00:22:18,550
Why y'all gagging, though?
523
00:22:18,633 --> 00:22:19,842
Ooh, bitch, what?
524
00:22:19,925 --> 00:22:21,717
Ooh, she really did that.
525
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,008
Ooh, she did that, though.
526
00:22:25,092 --> 00:22:27,550
Hey, ladies and gentlemen, no horseplay.
527
00:22:27,633 --> 00:22:29,383
No. No. Oh, come on.
528
00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:30,717
You messed with the wrong dude.
529
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,133
- Come on, guys.
- Hey.
530
00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:34,050
Oh, come on. All right, all right,
that's enough.
531
00:22:34,133 --> 00:22:35,633
Attention, Tigers!
532
00:22:35,717 --> 00:22:36,675
Claws up.
533
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:38,367
Aah! Oh, shit!
534
00:22:38,392 --> 00:22:39,967
- Oh.
- Motherfucker!
535
00:22:40,050 --> 00:22:41,175
Okay, okay.
536
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,211
- Is it bleeding?
- Uh, yes.
537
00:22:43,256 --> 00:22:45,820
- Squeeze it, squeeze it. It's all good.
- Shit. Cocksucker.
538
00:22:45,875 --> 00:22:53,508
♪ Back in the city, I'm just
another girl in a sweater ♪
539
00:22:53,592 --> 00:22:57,425
♪ Been waiting for regret to hit me ♪
540
00:22:57,508 --> 00:22:59,592
♪ Some kind of reckoning ♪
541
00:22:59,675 --> 00:23:01,967
I feel like this trip would've
gone so much faster
542
00:23:02,050 --> 00:23:04,758
if you were sitting
with me the whole time.
543
00:23:04,842 --> 00:23:06,883
Me, too.
544
00:23:06,967 --> 00:23:09,217
I hope they put us
in the same room tonight.
545
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:15,217
♪ Back in the city, I'm just
another girl in a sweater ♪
546
00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:17,133
♪ Perpetual novice ♪
547
00:23:17,217 --> 00:23:21,092
Do you know that feeling
when a song is, like,
548
00:23:21,175 --> 00:23:25,217
not just speaking to you
but it, like, is you?
549
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:27,050
Definitely.
550
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,633
Can I play something for you?
551
00:23:31,717 --> 00:23:37,145
♪ Who is the you who I sing towhen the house is empty? ♪
552
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:41,633
♪ You open the door to another
door, to another door ♪
553
00:23:41,717 --> 00:23:44,800
♪ To another door, to another door ♪
554
00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:52,425
♪ And I'm running through to you ♪
555
00:23:52,508 --> 00:23:55,758
♪ You open the door to another
door, to another door ♪
556
00:23:55,842 --> 00:24:00,342
♪ To another door, to another door ♪
557
00:24:00,425 --> 00:24:08,800
♪ And I'm running through to you ♪
558
00:24:11,425 --> 00:24:13,967
- Wait, who's that?
- ♪ And we're waking up sore and dizzy ♪
559
00:24:14,050 --> 00:24:15,050
No one.
560
00:24:15,133 --> 00:24:18,592
♪ From a 10-year concussion ♪
561
00:24:18,675 --> 00:24:23,008
♪ And the rainfall makes you miss me ♪
562
00:24:23,092 --> 00:24:24,795
You're good.
563
00:24:24,857 --> 00:24:26,175
Huh?
564
00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:27,925
Didn't realize until two minutes ago
565
00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:30,342
that you completely
got out of telling us
566
00:24:30,425 --> 00:24:32,493
why you became a counselor.
567
00:24:32,542 --> 00:24:34,417
Mm. Did I?
568
00:24:34,454 --> 00:24:36,883
You did. Yes.
569
00:24:36,967 --> 00:24:41,258
Got to respect the skill,
but people demand answers.
570
00:24:41,342 --> 00:24:45,508
Oh, well, at the risk
of disappointing the people,
571
00:24:45,592 --> 00:24:47,592
I, uh...
572
00:24:47,675 --> 00:24:49,342
I never wanted to be a counselor.
573
00:24:49,425 --> 00:24:51,050
What did you want to be?
574
00:24:51,133 --> 00:24:52,258
An architect.
575
00:24:52,342 --> 00:24:56,175
Only, I... I can't draw... at all...
576
00:24:56,258 --> 00:24:58,842
and, um, all my ideas
were for things like, uh...
577
00:24:58,925 --> 00:25:00,342
like circular houses
578
00:25:00,425 --> 00:25:03,717
or, I don't know, domed garages,
you know, underground cities.
579
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,800
- And what's wrong with that?
- I forget.
580
00:25:05,883 --> 00:25:07,592
But a lot. A lot.
581
00:25:07,675 --> 00:25:10,342
And the whole time I was taking,
um, sociology and volunteering
582
00:25:10,425 --> 00:25:13,175
at a middle school,
and during that time,
583
00:25:13,258 --> 00:25:16,217
I did not want to bang my head
against a wall,
584
00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:18,592
so here I am.
585
00:25:18,675 --> 00:25:21,675
"Condragulations.
You're a winner, baby."
586
00:25:25,175 --> 00:25:29,008
Ugh, oh, ibuprofen time.
587
00:25:31,133 --> 00:25:33,758
You guys want to play
"Never Have I Ever"?
588
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:35,133
- Yes.
- I guess.
589
00:25:35,209 --> 00:25:37,584
- All right, five fingers.
- Wait, wait, wait.
590
00:25:37,675 --> 00:25:39,550
Can we do the rule
where you have to say "ding"
591
00:25:39,633 --> 00:25:42,508
when you put your finger down
so you can't be sneaky?
592
00:25:42,592 --> 00:25:43,675
Ooh, fuck yeah.
593
00:25:43,758 --> 00:25:45,479
Oh, that's hot when you say that.
594
00:25:45,534 --> 00:25:47,495
- "Fuck yeah"?
- Yeah.
595
00:25:47,577 --> 00:25:49,452
Fuck yeah.
596
00:25:49,526 --> 00:25:50,717
Fuck yeah.
597
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,508
- Oh, my God.
- I'll go.
598
00:25:52,592 --> 00:25:54,800
Uh, never have I ever said "I love you"
599
00:25:54,883 --> 00:25:56,258
in a romantic context.
600
00:25:56,318 --> 00:25:59,162
Wait, have I ever said it? I must've.
601
00:25:59,257 --> 00:26:02,591
Um, now it's Cooper's turn.
602
00:26:02,638 --> 00:26:06,925
Um, never have I ever...
603
00:26:07,008 --> 00:26:09,467
uh... uh...
604
00:26:09,550 --> 00:26:10,925
I don't know. I can't think of one.
605
00:26:11,008 --> 00:26:12,758
Just think, like,
what have you never done?
606
00:26:12,842 --> 00:26:19,550
Okay, um, never have I ever
tried to suck my own dick.
607
00:26:19,575 --> 00:26:20,668
- Ding.
- Checks out.
608
00:26:20,693 --> 00:26:22,092
Do you always have to take it
to a bitchy place?
609
00:26:22,117 --> 00:26:23,218
Chill. I'm just saying
610
00:26:23,243 --> 00:26:25,422
you trying to suck yourself off
checks out.
611
00:26:25,447 --> 00:26:30,258
So, uh, what's on the horizon
for you after La Palma Cypress?
612
00:26:30,342 --> 00:26:31,800
Too many things.
613
00:26:31,883 --> 00:26:34,800
Um, living in London maybe.
614
00:26:34,883 --> 00:26:38,258
Or Milan or Paris.
615
00:26:38,342 --> 00:26:41,342
I-I-I don't know.
I just kinda, like, feel London.
616
00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:45,467
And I kind of think
I might study psychology.
617
00:26:45,550 --> 00:26:47,217
I could see that for you.
618
00:26:47,300 --> 00:26:48,842
Because of all the mind games I play?
619
00:26:48,925 --> 00:26:50,758
Because you're perceptive.
620
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,467
Um, but I can't just, like,
give up being into fashion
621
00:26:55,550 --> 00:26:57,633
so I don't know.
622
00:26:57,717 --> 00:27:00,550
Uh, I might study art
or literature and be, like,
623
00:27:00,633 --> 00:27:02,675
that suburban gay.
624
00:27:02,758 --> 00:27:06,342
But then there's just, like,
a lazy, dark part of me
625
00:27:06,425 --> 00:27:07,842
that just wants to say, "Fuck it all,"
626
00:27:07,925 --> 00:27:09,508
and just, like, be an influencer
627
00:27:09,592 --> 00:27:11,133
'cause I know I could do it
with both eyes closed.
628
00:27:11,217 --> 00:27:14,508
So literary artist, psychologist, uh,
629
00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:18,425
suburban gay influencer... in London.
630
00:27:18,508 --> 00:27:20,550
You about to tell me I can't.
631
00:27:20,633 --> 00:27:23,467
I was about to praise your vision.
632
00:27:23,550 --> 00:27:25,217
My closeted self was so inside-the-box,
633
00:27:25,300 --> 00:27:27,092
I was designing the blueprints
for the box.
634
00:27:27,175 --> 00:27:28,883
You sad, sad Millennial.
635
00:27:28,967 --> 00:27:30,342
Put it on my tombstone.
636
00:27:30,425 --> 00:27:31,842
Okay, here's one.
637
00:27:31,925 --> 00:27:34,008
Never have I ever,
638
00:27:34,092 --> 00:27:36,092
oh, gotten period stains
on my pants while rock climbing.
639
00:27:36,166 --> 00:27:38,339
- Seriously?
- Yeah. Anyone? Anybody?
640
00:27:38,385 --> 00:27:40,812
- No?
- Ding. All right, I'll go next.
641
00:27:40,873 --> 00:27:43,623
Never have I ever had
a JoJo Siwa sweatshirt
642
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,342
two years ago when I was 14.
643
00:27:46,925 --> 00:27:48,383
Are you gonna say "ding"?
644
00:27:48,467 --> 00:27:49,717
- Ding.
- Never have I ever...
645
00:27:49,742 --> 00:27:51,050
Never have I ever shown my vagina to
646
00:27:51,133 --> 00:27:52,342
- the mailman when we were kids.
- Why?
647
00:27:52,408 --> 00:27:53,450
- What?
- Never have I ever hooked up
648
00:27:53,479 --> 00:27:54,937
with my sister's childhood best friend
649
00:27:54,962 --> 00:27:57,196
'cause I think with my tiny dick
instead of my tiny brain.
650
00:27:57,258 --> 00:27:58,272
Okay, that's kind of mean.
651
00:27:58,297 --> 00:27:59,624
Never have I crashed into a garbage can
652
00:27:59,649 --> 00:28:01,383
'cause I can't fucking drive
and started sobbing
653
00:28:01,467 --> 00:28:02,800
in the car literally this morning.
654
00:28:02,883 --> 00:28:06,508
Never have I ever gotten cum in my eye.
655
00:28:06,592 --> 00:28:09,258
- What?
- Wait. Wait.
656
00:28:09,342 --> 00:28:12,217
Wait, Nathan, so, was it
yours or someone else's?
657
00:28:12,300 --> 00:28:17,175
And by my 40s, I'mma have a full
London townhouse and all that.
658
00:28:17,258 --> 00:28:19,717
Butler, coat of arms.
659
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,008
How old are you now? 17?
660
00:28:22,092 --> 00:28:25,050
Not for much longer, but yeah.
661
00:28:25,133 --> 00:28:26,717
Just 'cause, you know, how kids
want to pretend
662
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:31,175
they're older,
get away with things, you know?
663
00:28:35,217 --> 00:28:37,925
Is everyone okay? Is anyone hurt?
664
00:28:38,991 --> 00:28:42,366
Can you all please check on each other?
49249
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