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Hi, I'm Jane McDonald.
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00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:04,980
Did someone mention cruise?
3
00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:09,100
I caught the cruising bug
more than 20 years ago
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00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:11,300
when I was working as a singer
on a ship.
5
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,820
See, when I were on the ships,
I had no window.
6
00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:17,780
I used to have to put the television
on to see what type of day it was.
7
00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:20,740
It's not just us Brits
who are crazy about cruising.
8
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Last year 25.8 million
holiday-makers worldwide
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choose to cruise.
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00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,780
There a cruise for everyone.
11
00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:30,060
There's quiet cruises,
there's party cruises,
12
00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:32,460
there's island cruises,
there's river cruises
13
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and I'm just going to carry on
cruising till I've found you
14
00:00:35,580 --> 00:00:37,580
your perfect cruise.
Try stopping me.
15
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,420
There's a cocktail bar over there.
16
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:43,820
I like big ships, small ships,
thin ships, fat ships,
17
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,020
friendships, relationships.
18
00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:47,460
I like all ships!
19
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,900
Now I'm off to waters unknown.
20
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:55,540
I'm treating myself to some cool
Scandi-style in the Baltic
21
00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:58,220
on this beauty, the Viking Sky.
22
00:00:58,220 --> 00:01:00,060
Welcome to my yacht.
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It's dead posh.
24
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It's full of surprises.
25
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All the cabins have a balcony,
and I do mean all of them.
26
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:08,820
Hello!
27
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,820
And there's even
real art everywhere.
28
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:13,380
It does look like Susan Boyle,
doesn't it?
29
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It's like being on a private yacht.
30
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,380
An Abramowitz-sized one.
31
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Cheers. Cheers.
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00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:23,340
And I've been
rooting in the cupboards
33
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and found some exciting new stuff
to show you.
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00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:27,780
Buzz!
SHE LAUGHS
35
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:38,260
Hej and velkommen til Kobenhavn.
36
00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:41,900
Which means ey up,
we're in Copenhagen.
37
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,780
And this is where my Baltic
adventure begins.
38
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It's the capital of Denmark
and I haven't been here
39
00:01:48,260 --> 00:01:51,220
for about 15 years.
Well, more like 20, actually.
40
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:54,220
Its most famous landmarks
are the Tivoli Gardens.
41
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This is them.
42
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,540
Hans Christian Andersen's house.
43
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This is it. And the Little Mermaid.
44
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There she is.
45
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:04,700
The Little Mermaid in Danish
is Lille Havfrue.
46
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You see, you're impressed now,
aren't you?
47
00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:09,500
So you should be.
48
00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:14,700
Well, my husband were Danish
so I had to say a few things
49
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like Jeg elsker dig,
which means I love you.
50
00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:19,660
And that were it, really.
51
00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:22,260
Tak, thank you.
52
00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:27,100
Rodgrod med flode,
which is a dessert.
53
00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:31,300
Don't really know why
I learned that.
54
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,900
But, em, that's a really difficult
one. Can you say that?
55
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:38,300
Rodgrod med flode -
it's very Flemish.
56
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It's a hard language to learn, and
I did learn it, about 17 years ago.
57
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:48,060
It took me a long time to learn
and very easy to forget.
58
00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:49,900
Very, very easy to forget.
59
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:51,780
Are you a fast learner, in general?
60
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,620
No.
61
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:55,820
It's typical Danish weather today.
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00:02:55,820 --> 00:02:59,580
With an average of 170 days of rain
per year in Copenhagen,
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00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,500
chances are you'll
cop for a wet one.
64
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,860
I've come prepared
and thought it only fitting
65
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:07,260
to wear one of Denmark's
most famous jumpers.
66
00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:10,940
I bet they all think
I'm from The Killing.
67
00:03:13,180 --> 00:03:14,740
Got the right jumper on.
68
00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:19,140
May I take a photo with you?
Of course. Thank you.
69
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:22,780
Thank you. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
70
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:25,140
You movie star, or...?
71
00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:27,660
Oh, yeah, big movie star.
72
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:30,060
Brilliant! I'm not.
73
00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:32,460
Have a nice day.
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00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:34,180
You too. Bye-bye.
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Bye. Thanks so much.
76
00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:37,180
Wonderful!
77
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:41,060
I think she thought I was
that Sofie Grabol from The Killing.
78
00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:43,220
Which, of course, I'm not.
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00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:47,260
I don't need to be a detective
to tell you
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00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:50,020
I've sniffed out another
Danish icon.
81
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,260
A hot dog stand.
82
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Come to Denmark, you have got
to have one of their hot dogs
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because they are the best ever.
84
00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:58,100
Hi. Hi.
85
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,380
Could I have the bestseller?
86
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,620
The Fransk hotdog?
87
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,180
What's the difference?
88
00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:06,940
The size. Oh, the size.
89
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:09,900
Of course.
Sometimes size doesn't matter.
90
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The small one.
91
00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:14,940
A Danish hotdog is like no other.
92
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:18,660
Yes, it's just a sausage in a bun
but it's got a remoulade sauce.
93
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,820
Sounds posh
but it's just mayonnaise,
94
00:04:20,820 --> 00:04:22,580
mustard and pickled cucumber.
95
00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:24,500
I'm going to let you have a taste
in a minute.
96
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,860
You can't have a taste
because you can't get through
97
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:30,020
the telly, but you can have the
taste and it's really, really nice.
98
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:33,020
Tusind tak. That's a sausage
with a message.
99
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:34,940
That sausage is saying, eat me.
100
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:38,980
Mm!
101
00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:43,300
Where are you from?
Are you from Denmark?
102
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,220
Yes. So, are you getting married?
103
00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:47,060
Of course you are.
104
00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:48,900
This is fantastic!
105
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THEY CHEER
106
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,340
Oh, well, good luck.
107
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:57,020
Bye. Farvel. Farvel!
108
00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:59,260
Oh, bless 'em.
109
00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:01,740
Oh, I hope she's as happy as
we all thought we were going to be.
110
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:09,740
There's still time
before our ship sails,
111
00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:11,180
so I've been told I have to
112
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:13,580
ring a man about a visit to
an unusual museum.
113
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Hello. Ah, hello! How are you?
Good, very good.
114
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Are you going to come visit me?
115
00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:24,260
Yes, I've been hearing
great things about your place.
116
00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:26,620
Can you tell me
about your museum, Samuel?
117
00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:31,580
There's a bunch of failed products
you can look at and learn from.
118
00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:38,060
Failed? Failed products, yes.
OK. Is this interesting?
119
00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:41,820
It's really interesting.
It's only a short drive. OK.
120
00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:46,740
And you'll see some more of
beautiful Scandinavia on your way.
121
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Give me a call when you get closer
to the museum and I'll guide you.
122
00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:52,220
Right. Sound good? I'm on my way.
123
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:54,740
Just stay where you are! OK.
124
00:05:54,740 --> 00:05:57,420
Right. Let's get a car.
125
00:05:57,420 --> 00:06:00,140
Yup. Yup.
126
00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:01,580
Bye!
127
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:06,980
Hello!
128
00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:08,740
Are you there?
129
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:11,660
It's not working. I've lost him.
130
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:12,980
I don't where I'm going.
131
00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:14,940
Oh!
132
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:17,900
Oh. Oh.
133
00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:19,820
SHE LAUGHS
134
00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:21,980
ROBOTIC VOICE ON PHONE
135
00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:24,500
That sounded like a Dalek.
136
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,700
Well, this is a different way
of doing things.
137
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:29,460
I've no idea where
we're meant to be going,
138
00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:31,580
and we've been driving for ages!
139
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:35,860
Where the heck are we going?
140
00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,940
Are you in a different country?
141
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:41,460
Yeah, I'm in Sweden.
You didn't know that? You what?!
142
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:43,660
I'm in Sweden. Not in Denmark.
143
00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:46,740
We're off to chuffin' Sweden.
I didn't know that.
144
00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:52,540
Well, this had
better be worth seeing.
145
00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:55,660
But thankfully we're finally here...
Ah!
146
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..I think.
147
00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:00,340
Hi. Welcome!
Oh, let me come out and greet you.
148
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,660
Oh, I've just broken your foot.
Come on.
149
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:04,420
All right. Thank you.
150
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:10,580
OK. So, where do we go? So this is
the Museum of Failure.
151
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:14,500
Failure? Yeah. OK. It's all these
innovations that in some way failed.
152
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,780
OK. So, they haven't been
a commercial success,
153
00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:22,700
or they're dangerous, or somehow
it's a failure. It's basically crap?
154
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,980
Come on, let's have a look.
Right, let's have a look.
155
00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:29,700
This is a pop-up book that
I found of the Millennium Dome.
156
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I put in the category
building failures.
157
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,340
Oh, it certainly did
fail as a building, yeah.
158
00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,100
I haven't been there myself.
159
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:39,140
I need to go there, as the curator
of the Museum of Failures.
160
00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:40,700
That's not a bad idea, is it?
161
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:46,060
Yes, you should go, as the building
is now a successful concert venue.
162
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,820
It's a snail hat. Would
you like to try it?
163
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:51,100
It's a hat? Yeah.
164
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:54,780
Too much hair! Hang on a minute.
165
00:07:54,780 --> 00:07:57,860
Come on. There you go. It doesn't
look like a snail, does it?
166
00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:59,780
No, it doesn't.
167
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,420
Beautiful! Beautiful.
168
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,740
What do you guys think?
Is this a look?
169
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:07,100
It's a good job this isn't
Catchphrase. Put it back down.
170
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:10,380
And there's more!
Plastic bicycle, Swedish failure.
171
00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:11,900
Yeah, it looks quite good.
172
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,140
But it's not what we're
going to look at.
173
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:16,220
Samuel has been very successful
174
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,980
at collecting items
that never really took off.
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THEY LAUGH
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00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:24,020
Oh, my goodness. Rejuvenique.
177
00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,220
Do you know who this is?
178
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:28,580
Linda Evans! Yeah, yeah.
Dynasty. Yeah.
179
00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:33,620
If you buy this mask, use it for 15
minutes a day for three months...
180
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:37,060
Yeah, OK. ..you'll be
as beautiful as she is - was.
181
00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:39,340
Was? Was. I don't know if
she's still alive.
182
00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:41,740
So what do you do with it?
183
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:45,020
It vibrates? Oh, my God!
That's got pins in it.
184
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,900
OK, so what it does is
it gives your face...
185
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:52,780
You strap it onto your head and it
gives your face electric shocks.
186
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:55,580
Right... You're joking.
No, I'm not joking.
187
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:58,020
You're going to try it, yeah?
188
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:00,500
So you put that on.
189
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:04,540
This is... Just relax. Relax. OK?
190
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:07,100
Yeah. I'll control this.
191
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,060
OK. OK.
192
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:11,660
So, are you ready? Yeah.
193
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:15,860
OK. Is it going to hurt me?
It's not... I don't...
194
00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:17,220
I mean... I don't know.
195
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:19,220
OK.
196
00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:21,700
Oh! Hey! Oh, my God.
197
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:23,740
No... Can you feel it?
198
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:26,860
Yeah. I can feel that, yeah.
All right, let's turn it up a bit.
199
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:31,580
Buzz!
SHE LAUGHS
200
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:39,420
Oh, my God! That's not right.
201
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:42,580
I can't see why
this didn't take off! Really?
202
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:44,860
So lovely to meet you.
You take care.
203
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,980
Good luck with it all.
Thank you.
204
00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:56,580
Coming up,
I settle into my new surroundings...
205
00:09:58,060 --> 00:10:00,140
Oh, wow.
206
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:04,780
Well, if this is what having money
is all about, I want some!
207
00:10:04,780 --> 00:10:07,180
Because this is just
a different world.
208
00:10:12,950 --> 00:10:15,470
I'm cruising around the Nordics
209
00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:18,310
and we're about to board our ship.
210
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:20,910
Oh, wow! Look at this.
211
00:10:20,910 --> 00:10:23,550
This is a lot bigger than I thought.
212
00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:25,670
Oh, it's nice, isn't it? Look!
213
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:29,710
I don't know why,
but I thought it was a lot smaller.
214
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:30,750
Shall we cross over?
215
00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:35,030
And here she is.
216
00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:36,990
My home for the next week.
217
00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:41,070
If she were a movie star,
she'd be Scarlett Johansson.
218
00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:43,390
That's how gorgeous she is.
219
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:44,550
Look at that.
220
00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:50,190
Do you know, every time you turn up
to a cruise ship,
221
00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:51,550
it takes your breath away.
222
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:53,470
You just get excited.
223
00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:55,670
I've got that excited feeling again
in my stomach
224
00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:58,030
thinking I'm going to be on there
for seven whole days.
225
00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:05,190
Hi. What's your name?
226
00:11:05,190 --> 00:11:06,390
Patrick.
227
00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:08,430
You, Patrick, me, Jane.
228
00:11:08,430 --> 00:11:09,910
HE TARZAN YELLS
229
00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:11,310
SHE LAUGHS
230
00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:13,910
It's going to be fun. Already,
I've only just come up to the ship,
231
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:16,870
and there's people shouting at us.
Isn't it wonderful? Come on.
232
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:24,870
She's got 900 passengers on board
and I'm the last to join,
233
00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:26,750
so now it's 901.
234
00:11:28,150 --> 00:11:29,990
We're setting off to Copenhagen,
235
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,950
sailing through the land of
the Vikings and across the Baltic
236
00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:37,630
to Tallinn in Estonia. Next,
into Russia and St Petersburg.
237
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:41,870
From there, back into the Baltic
and Helsinki, capital of Finland,
238
00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:44,470
and then off to Scandinavia
and Stockholm.
239
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:47,310
Mamma mia, I'll need a lie down
after all that.
240
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:53,790
Right.
241
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:55,030
Ah. Hello. Hello.
242
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:56,710
Welcome aboard. Thank you very much.
243
00:11:58,110 --> 00:12:00,550
This is only Viking Sky's
fifth cruise
244
00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:03,910
and everything inside
is box fresh and brand-new.
245
00:12:03,910 --> 00:12:06,230
Oh, wow.
246
00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:08,230
Have a look at this. Come here.
247
00:12:09,790 --> 00:12:11,470
Look at these pictures
and everything.
248
00:12:13,670 --> 00:12:18,110
I don't think I've ever, ever seen
a ship like this, ever.
249
00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:31,670
This is what they call
the Tree Of Life.
250
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:34,710
The Tree Of Life?
Can I just hug a tree?
251
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,990
I need to hug the Tree Of Life!
HE LAUGHS
252
00:12:38,030 --> 00:12:39,750
Oh! Everything is set up.
253
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,950
Look at that!
Actually, you are going to sit
254
00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:45,390
in this chair like a princess
or a queen.
255
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:48,950
Right! It's so comfortable.
256
00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:51,110
Oh, that is really comfortable!
Yes, it is.
257
00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:53,070
Oh, wow. This is fab.
258
00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:55,550
So, listen,
has this just been put on for me?
259
00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:58,990
Is this so quiet just because I'm...
260
00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:01,070
No, ma'am. No?
261
00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:02,910
This is every day
we have on the ship.
262
00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:07,670
And that's the reason why
most of the guests really enjoy it,
263
00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:10,590
because they want to enjoy
and relax on their cruise.
264
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:14,270
That is the only difference
we have from the other cruises.
265
00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:17,190
Because they come here, they do
their thing -
266
00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:19,070
reading and just relaxing.
267
00:13:19,070 --> 00:13:20,790
Sounds like there won't be
268
00:13:20,790 --> 00:13:23,190
any karaoke nights on this cruise
any time soon,
269
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:26,390
but that suits me fine -
nice and relaxing.
270
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:29,310
This is the most exciting bit
271
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:31,670
because I'm going to see
where my room is.
272
00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:33,070
Come on, come in.
273
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:37,550
It's like a millionaire's house,
isn't it?
274
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:41,270
This is what you see on the telly in
Grand Designs and stuff like that.
275
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:48,510
Jane, welcome to your room.
Thank you.
276
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:56,150
Oh, my goodness me!
277
00:13:56,150 --> 00:13:58,590
It's bigger than my house.
278
00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:00,910
Look at this. I've got a sofa.
279
00:14:02,830 --> 00:14:05,110
Oh, my God! I've got a suite.
280
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,670
Oh, I've got an iPad for this.
281
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:17,350
Look at this. Day dim.
282
00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:22,750
There's, like, big tellies
everywhere.
283
00:14:24,510 --> 00:14:26,150
I love a bathroom.
284
00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:27,790
I've got a sauna.
285
00:14:27,790 --> 00:14:28,910
SHE GASPS
286
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:32,590
Look at this!
287
00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:35,950
You can sit there in the nuddy
and nobody can see you.
288
00:14:37,270 --> 00:14:39,750
Mind you, I'm in the owner's suite.
289
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,550
The owner's suite!
290
00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:44,430
I hope he doesn't want to come on.
291
00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:46,510
Oh, wow.
292
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:50,750
Well, if this is what having money
is all about, I want some!
293
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:53,310
Because this is just
a different world.
294
00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:59,350
I've just found out the word Viking
means to travel on water.
295
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:02,830
Well, these guys have nailed it
and I'm Viking round the Baltic.
296
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:03,910
Lucky me.
297
00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:07,070
Oh!
298
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,670
Oh!
299
00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:14,510
Look! Oh, you will not see me
for the rest of the cruise now.
300
00:15:17,510 --> 00:15:19,950
I would like to say,
301
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:22,310
cheers, welcome aboard.
302
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:29,030
Oh, that didn't even
touch the sides, did it!?
303
00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:31,430
Well, I can't stay here all day
living the dream.
304
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,710
It's time to explore.
305
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:34,950
I'm off.
306
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:41,510
Hi. Hello.
307
00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:44,470
Oh, this is lovely.
308
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:45,990
It's not like a ship.
309
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:48,470
It's like a very posh hotel.
310
00:15:48,470 --> 00:15:50,670
It's beautifully architected.
311
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:52,550
Is that a word? Architected?
312
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:57,830
It's been beautifully designed.
313
00:15:57,830 --> 00:15:59,390
We'll use that.
314
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,590
Can you believe
that I'm in the Baltics?
315
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:06,990
I think we must be doing something
right because every time we go
316
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:09,750
on a ship, we get beautiful weather.
317
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:11,510
Oh, wow!
318
00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:13,310
This is a bit fab, isn't it?
319
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:22,830
Hello! Welcome to my yacht.
320
00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:29,350
Something I've noticed is everywhere
you look, you can see the sea.
321
00:16:29,350 --> 00:16:30,790
Don't laugh.
322
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:31,990
Some ships I've been on,
323
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:35,430
you need a telescope to get
a glimpse of a wave anywhere.
324
00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:36,710
Not this one.
325
00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:49,630
Right, there's something
I need to do.
326
00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:51,590
Hi-ho! Oh!
327
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:55,550
What are you doing here?
I've got no make-up on or anything.
328
00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:59,150
Right, hang on a minute.
I need to find the launderette.
329
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:00,230
Laundrette.
330
00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:02,030
Yes, that's right.
I did say launderette.
331
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,590
Hello.
332
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,230
It's what sea days are for.
333
00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:06,750
Relaxing and washing your smalls.
334
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,190
So how do we use these, then?
335
00:17:08,190 --> 00:17:11,510
Ah, well, the directions
are not easy to follow.
336
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:15,070
OK. Oh, no! They are written by
some engineer, not by a woman.
337
00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:17,030
So, preparing laundry.
Load laundry.
338
00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:18,790
Close the door.
Choose the programme.
339
00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:20,950
Choose the temperature.
Choose the spin speed.
340
00:17:20,950 --> 00:17:23,110
Choose... Flipping Nora.
341
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,270
Dee, can you give me a lesson?
342
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:27,110
I could give you a wonderful lesson.
343
00:17:27,110 --> 00:17:31,630
It's nice to just come down and be
normal. And everybody's normal,
344
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:34,670
aren't they? Cos we all do
our own washing.
345
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:37,030
Now, I was on a world cruise.
346
00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:40,910
There was a woman and she used
to put out of order on a dryer.
347
00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:42,390
Yeah!
348
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:45,430
So this lady always had a washer
and always had a dryer
349
00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:48,430
because she used to just come in
and...
350
00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:50,790
I know where
the out of order sign is.
351
00:17:50,790 --> 00:17:53,110
Do you? But I'm not telling you.
352
00:17:53,110 --> 00:17:54,270
THEY LAUGH
353
00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:57,310
It can get actually quite heated
when you can't get a washer
354
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:01,590
and somebody comes in and just whips
it, which happens quite a lot.
355
00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:03,310
Et voila.
356
00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:06,430
Oh, my God!
357
00:18:06,430 --> 00:18:08,630
Well, you all know the secret now.
358
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,990
Right, Dee.
Oh, she's put some more in.
359
00:18:11,990 --> 00:18:13,630
Right, I need the out of order sign.
360
00:18:13,630 --> 00:18:16,350
Get the sign up.
Need to get the sign.
361
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,950
I need to do what that lady did
and get that sign out.
362
00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:21,310
I've missed my slot. I'm so sorry.
363
00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:25,670
Up here, we're 1,000 miles
north-east of Wakefield
364
00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:28,910
and let me tell you, the sunsets
alone are worth the trip.
365
00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:33,070
I mean, this isn't even one of
the special ones, but look at that.
366
00:18:35,110 --> 00:18:36,430
And if that's not enough,
367
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:39,070
the launderette's empty
and I can dry me smalls.
368
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:40,430
Magic.
369
00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:45,190
We've crossed the Baltic on our way
to Tallinn, capital of Estonia.
370
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:47,390
It sounds like my kind of place.
371
00:18:47,390 --> 00:18:51,950
It's hosted Eurovision and at its
heart is a fairy tale medieval town.
372
00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,670
What's not to love?
373
00:18:56,830 --> 00:19:00,830
This is a destination cruise where
you go to all these amazing places
374
00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:03,150
where it's all laid on for you,
375
00:19:03,150 --> 00:19:06,790
which is really good because
that's all-inclusive in the price.
376
00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:09,150
So you can have a look
377
00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:11,910
and pick something that
you really think,
378
00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:14,110
oh, I wouldn't mind doing that.
379
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:16,830
Instead of taking a chance
where you're paying for it,
380
00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:20,790
you would take a chance
when you're not.
381
00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:23,270
Is that just me being tight?
382
00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:25,070
But it's probably
true of most people
383
00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:27,830
because we don't like wasting money,
do we?
384
00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:33,670
SHE HUMS A TUNE
Hi!
385
00:19:33,670 --> 00:19:35,870
Excuse me,
is this where I book an excursion?
386
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,670
It is, yes. What can we
help you with?
387
00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:42,750
Erm, I've got...
I fancy doing something like a walk
388
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,350
or a bike ride or something.
389
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,230
We've got lots of options.
If you take a seat,
390
00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:49,990
we can go through more details.
Yeah. Can we do that? Course we can!
391
00:19:49,990 --> 00:19:52,190
I want to see the real... You know,
392
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:56,470
I don't want to go on a high street
and see McDonald's and Zara.
393
00:19:56,470 --> 00:19:58,390
Tomorrow, we're going to be
in Estonia,
394
00:19:58,390 --> 00:19:59,950
we're going to be in Tallinn.
Uh-huh.
395
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:03,830
And it's really a medieval town that
you're going to go and see,
396
00:20:03,830 --> 00:20:06,190
with steep spires
and little cobbled streets,
397
00:20:06,190 --> 00:20:08,390
with a wonderful little square.
Uh-huh.
398
00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:11,590
You can really get
the real, true feeling. You can have
399
00:20:11,590 --> 00:20:15,390
honey beer and some wonderful
cuisine as well. I'm sold.
400
00:20:15,390 --> 00:20:18,190
I'm going on that one.
Where are you from, by the way?
401
00:20:18,190 --> 00:20:20,510
I'm from Dewsbury.
Dewsbury, Yorkshire? Yes.
402
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,430
BRASS BAND PLAYS
You are joking me!?
403
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,870
Just right in the town centre,
near the train station.
404
00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:27,430
You're from Dewsbury in Yorkshire?
Yes, I am.
405
00:20:27,430 --> 00:20:29,750
I'm, like, seven miles
down the road, in Wakefield.
406
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,350
Yeah, my mum and dad's is in Ossett,
so just between them.
407
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:34,510
Oh, my God.
Ossett there, bus it back!
408
00:20:34,510 --> 00:20:36,910
My auntie lives in Ossett. Really?
409
00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:39,710
Yeah. We're probably related,
you know. Possibly, yes.
410
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,870
So, how long have you been on here?
411
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:43,710
Just over a year now.
412
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,430
It's gone very quick. Yeah.
413
00:20:45,430 --> 00:20:48,470
Slightly different from Dewsbury,
do you think?
414
00:20:48,470 --> 00:20:51,310
A tad, yes. A little bit different
than Dewsbury, yes!
415
00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:52,750
Thank you. No, thanks a lot.
416
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:55,750
It's lovely to meet you,
and I've had a right reminisce. Yes!
417
00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:56,830
We'll be going...
418
00:20:56,830 --> 00:21:00,270
SHE HUMS THE HOVIS ADVERT THEME
..underneath.
419
00:21:00,270 --> 00:21:02,070
What a small world!
420
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:03,990
You never know
who you're going to meet
421
00:21:03,990 --> 00:21:05,550
in the middle of the Baltic Sea.
422
00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:15,270
We've arrived in Tallinn, a very
popular tourist stop in Estonia.
423
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:18,990
Just over 430,000 people live here,
424
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:22,230
but every year they can expect to
receive over 4 million visitors.
425
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:28,750
Wow, looks like they're
all here now, if I'm honest.
426
00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:32,150
Hello. Yeah. We were just going to
go off and have a wander.
427
00:21:32,150 --> 00:21:34,630
Of course. Do you recommend anywhere
that we should see?
428
00:21:34,630 --> 00:21:37,750
Yes, of course. The view platform,
I think it's a must,
429
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,390
because there you can see
the whole view of the town.
430
00:21:40,390 --> 00:21:42,030
And that's up there, is it?
431
00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:43,830
That way and then right? Yeah.
432
00:21:47,630 --> 00:21:49,190
What a beautiful day.
433
00:21:51,190 --> 00:21:54,430
I'm in Estonia,
434
00:21:54,430 --> 00:21:56,430
I've ditched the crew.
435
00:21:56,430 --> 00:21:58,550
It's just me and you.
436
00:22:08,230 --> 00:22:10,550
So, I've been told to...
437
00:22:10,550 --> 00:22:14,990
come up here and see this...
438
00:22:14,990 --> 00:22:16,590
amazing view.
439
00:22:16,590 --> 00:22:19,190
Get ready to be amazed.
440
00:22:19,190 --> 00:22:21,190
Is that it?
441
00:22:23,430 --> 00:22:24,750
I mean,
442
00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,870
no disrespect but...
443
00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:31,190
..looks like Wakefield.
444
00:22:31,190 --> 00:22:33,310
Do you think that's pretty?
445
00:22:34,630 --> 00:22:36,350
Yes. I live here.
446
00:22:36,350 --> 00:22:37,710
It's a nice view.
447
00:22:37,710 --> 00:22:41,230
It's an old part of town
from the first Estonian Republic.
448
00:22:41,230 --> 00:22:43,550
It's not doing it for me. I'd like
a better view than that.
449
00:22:43,550 --> 00:22:44,710
OK. Is that all right?
450
00:22:44,710 --> 00:22:46,590
Let's go to old part of town.
451
00:22:46,590 --> 00:22:48,270
Old part?
Oh, are you coming with me?
452
00:22:48,270 --> 00:22:49,790
Yeah. What's your name?
453
00:22:49,790 --> 00:22:51,150
Sergei. Sergei?
454
00:22:51,150 --> 00:22:53,270
Yeah. I'm Jane,
very pleased to meet you.
455
00:22:56,950 --> 00:22:58,510
I'm now going down the ginnel
456
00:22:58,510 --> 00:23:01,270
with a strange man
I've just picked up in Estonia.
457
00:23:01,270 --> 00:23:03,430
PHONE RINGS
458
00:23:05,070 --> 00:23:06,350
SHE CHUCKLES
459
00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:08,030
Sergei?
460
00:23:08,030 --> 00:23:11,350
Oh, now he's on his phone,
but this looks more like it.
461
00:23:14,230 --> 00:23:18,030
It's lovely. Feels like I'm in
Beauty And The Beast.
462
00:23:22,910 --> 00:23:25,390
Hang on a minute. I recognise him.
463
00:23:25,390 --> 00:23:26,670
Are you Patrick?
464
00:23:26,670 --> 00:23:28,350
HE TARZAN YELLS
465
00:23:28,350 --> 00:23:30,310
SHE LAUGHS
Hello.
466
00:23:30,310 --> 00:23:32,790
I couldn't resist you when you said,
"I'm Jane!"
467
00:23:32,790 --> 00:23:34,350
Oh, that is so good!
468
00:23:34,350 --> 00:23:35,750
How are you? I'm great.
469
00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:37,430
Nice to meet you in the flesh,
finally.
470
00:23:37,430 --> 00:23:39,150
Have a great day.
Lovely to meet you.
471
00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:41,030
Bye, Jane. Bye!
472
00:23:41,030 --> 00:23:43,190
I've found me Patrick.
473
00:23:43,190 --> 00:23:45,510
Such a sweet man.
474
00:23:46,750 --> 00:23:50,190
Tallinn certainly caters for all
the tourists that come every year...
475
00:23:51,990 --> 00:23:55,430
..and you're never far from
a food stall if you fancy a nibble.
476
00:24:02,070 --> 00:24:05,110
The old walled town
is a UNESCO heritage site...
477
00:24:06,910 --> 00:24:10,310
..with a photo opportunity
around every corner.
478
00:24:13,710 --> 00:24:17,430
Coming up, we arrive
in St Petersburg in Russia,
479
00:24:17,430 --> 00:24:21,110
where I get to meet some of
its distinguished furry residents.
480
00:24:21,110 --> 00:24:23,750
How do you say,
"Here, pussy, pussy?"
481
00:24:23,750 --> 00:24:25,430
Ks-ks-ks-ks. Ks-ks-ks?
482
00:24:25,430 --> 00:24:26,830
That's in Russian, is it?
483
00:24:26,830 --> 00:24:28,990
It's Russian for calling a cat. Yes.
484
00:24:28,990 --> 00:24:30,710
"Ks-ks-ks."
485
00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:32,950
Aw, look at you!
486
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,800
I'm cruising round the Nordics,
487
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,840
and all this sea air
is making me peckish.
488
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,000
I know just what I want,
and I know where to get it.
489
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,720
So this is the highlight
of most cruises.
490
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,320
It's called afternoon tea.
491
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,480
Hi. Hi! Hello. How are you?
Come and sit with us.
492
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,160
Can I. Yes, please. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
493
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,120
I'll be on my way. OK.
Right, I'm on my way.
494
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:19,120
See? A stranger's a friend
you just haven't met yet.
495
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:22,040
Hi, Jane. Lovely to see you.
Good to see you.
496
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,360
Mwah! Mwah!
497
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:27,120
This is Terri and Stuart. Hi, Terry.
Really nice to meet you. Stuart.
498
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,600
And it's full, apparently.
499
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,520
The ship is full,
but there's never anybody about.
500
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:38,360
There's no lines except for at
the gelato bar. Oh, the gelato bar!
501
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:41,520
That's about six deep. I'd better
not go anywhere near that.
502
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,840
I think they're going to have to get
a hoist or a crane to get me off.
503
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,880
Terri might have to dash off
due to the fact
504
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,000
that she's waiting for a machine
in the laundry.
505
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,880
And we were just talking
about that yesterday, and she says,
506
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,280
"I will have to leave
afternoon tea..." Yeah, I have my...
507
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,160
"..to get the laundry!"
It's on a timer.
508
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,360
It's all... You put it on a timer.
Yeah.
509
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:06,000
And then you've got to go get it,
or it may be gone!
510
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,080
This was fun. I'll see you.
Thank you.
511
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,560
Thank you, enjoy your tea.
Thank you very much.
512
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,640
It's full steam ahead
as we leave Estonia,
513
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,360
and sail to St Petersburg
for two days, and Russia with love.
514
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,280
I'm in Russia!
515
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,800
I'm very excited,
cos I've never been here.
516
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,120
It's something... Look, I nearly
walked through the window then!
517
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,560
It's quite cold. It's quite nippy.
518
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,760
But the Russians
are made of hard stuff.
519
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,120
I bet she hasn't got a vest on
or anything!
520
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:16,360
I'm supposed to know something about
it, but as usual I've known nothing.
521
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,960
So I've looked it up
and it says the Hermitage is huge.
522
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:25,160
It has 1,057 rooms,
117 staircases...
523
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:26,520
CYCLIST SHOUTS
Morning.
524
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,600
SKATER YELLS
Ey-up!
525
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,120
I just want to go
and punch their lights out!
526
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,600
SHE LAUGHS
527
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,280
And they say, to get around
all the exhibits in the Hermitage,
528
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:43,400
you will need to spend 11 years
of your life and walk 22km.
529
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,640
Well, I can't stay that long -
the ship goes tomorrow!
530
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:52,120
But I have got enough time to meet a
lady that works here at the palace.
531
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:56,560
Maria's the PR lady for the cats
that live here. Who knew?
532
00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,440
Maria? Yes. Hi, I'm Jane.
Jane, glad to see you.
533
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,320
I'm sorry, the time is not the best
534
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,680
because we have
just a few cats in the yard,
535
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,720
but we will try to find for you.
536
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,920
OK. There's no cats!
No, just a few! Well...
537
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,240
There's only a few cats.
538
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,320
Has she got a name? Sometimes.
539
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,600
Sometimes? Yes.
540
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,240
So she's got a name?
The name - Kleopa. Kleopa?
541
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,440
Kleopa, da. From Cleopatra. Ah.
542
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:27,880
Kleopa! Ks-ks-ks!
543
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:33,120
Kleopa! No, I'm sorry. No, we will
try a little bit more inside.
544
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:36,960
She's like, "I ain't speaking to
you. You don't speak my language."
545
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,400
Oh, there's another one.
JANE CLICKS HER TONGUE
546
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,440
Downstairs, there is,
so-called, the cats' house.
547
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:48,680
And you will see the long,
long corridor coming in the mansion.
548
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,960
So we'll start our walk
from that corridor. Good.
549
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,520
SHE MOUTHS: I've got no idea.
550
00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,440
I've just been told that in every
metal door there's a cat flap,
551
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,440
and this sign says, "It's cold,
552
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:10,040
"can you please close the door
to keep everybody warm, and cats!"
553
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,240
I might have just
made a few words up there,
554
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,520
but that's basically
what that poster says.
555
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,320
But I love the fact there's
a cat flap in every single door.
556
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,600
It must be freezing!
557
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,720
Right, in we go.
558
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,560
Cats have lived
at the Hermitage since 1745,
559
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,520
when Empress Elizabeth decreed
that they live in the cellars.
560
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,400
They protected the artworks
from mice and rats.
561
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,640
The paintings are long gone,
but the cats are still here.
562
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,120
So how many cats
are there down here?
563
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,920
About 50 cats,
because their territory is huge.
564
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:48,920
But cats prefer to live
in the palace
565
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,200
with small prides and families.
566
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:57,320
And this territory,
it's enough for 50 or maybe...
567
00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,760
Between 50 and 70 cats.
No more. No more?
568
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,600
Of course, it doesn't look
very attractive, but...
569
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,920
Well, no, it's the cats' bed,
isn't it?
570
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:12,160
I mean, to be quite honest, Maria...
Yeah? ..my bed looks similar.
571
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,400
"Be careful. Danger, cats!"
572
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,320
Are they dangerous, cats?
573
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,800
No, it's for the drivers. Mm.
574
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,760
And this is our private
and modest cats' house.
575
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,560
Upstairs and outside,
it's all glitzy and gold.
576
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,160
Down here,
where the pussy posse hang out,
577
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,320
things are a bit more down-home.
578
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,680
How do you say, "Here, pussy pussy?"
579
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,160
Ks-ks-ks. "Ks-ks-ks"?
That's in Russian, is it?
580
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:44,400
It's K and S. It's Russian
for calling a cat - ks-ks-ks. Yes.
581
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,200
Aw, look at you!
582
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,840
I have got a connection with cats,
because I was in Cats in Blackpool,
583
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:55,080
and I'm sure there's
an old Griz down here somewhere.
584
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,080
There'll be
a Grizabella somewhere.
585
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:58,760
Look at this one, such a flirt!
586
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,280
You're such a flirt, you are.
587
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,560
Look, yeah.
588
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,040
That's Rum Tum Tugger,
without a doubt.
589
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,960
Sometimes this looks
like something between a house
590
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:11,880
for the homeless children
and a house for old people. Yes.
591
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,520
And...
592
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,120
Oh!
593
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:22,080
..you see? The dark basement...
Oh, my goodness me.
594
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,400
Look at that. To this. Yeah. Wow!
595
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,840
It's like Nadia!
596
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,040
You just come out of the wardrobe
into something like this.
597
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:32,520
It's like a different country.
598
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,120
CAMERA MAN: I reckon it's a bit
like NARNIA. I meant that!
599
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:36,840
It's like Narnia.
600
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:41,640
You come out of something which is
really dim and dark and...
601
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,880
And then - whoof! - Opulence.
602
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,280
Wow. Look at that.
603
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:50,600
So lovely. Yeah.
Thank you. Thank you.
604
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,880
Thank you, lovely to meet you. yes.
Hope to see you soon. I hope so.
605
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:55,880
Bye. Bye.
606
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,080
Everything here is monumental.
607
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,560
The scale is just...
well, off the scale.
608
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,280
There's gold everywhere
on the buildings,
609
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,480
but the most in-your-face
thing I've seen is this,
610
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,560
the Church of the Spilled Blood.
611
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,080
It's like a cross between a church
and a cake.
612
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,680
It's unbelievable. Look at that.
613
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:21,120
I would never have come to Russia
in a million years,
614
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,840
because of my perception of it.
615
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,400
And I would have missed
this unbelievable beauty.
616
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,360
And I've got to age now where
I don't want to sit at a pool
617
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,720
and drink a pina colada every day.
618
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,320
I want to get out
and see a bit of the world.
619
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,920
That's just what I think personally,
anyway. I could be wrong.
620
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,160
You might still want to sit
and have a pina colada at a pool!
621
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:48,320
I don't blame you.
622
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,120
Actually, I want to do that as well.
623
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,120
I love the fact that you can
just have a vehicle and have a shop.
624
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,840
A meat shop. Nice!
625
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,360
I live in little bubble,
in my own little world...
626
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:10,920
..where everything...
627
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:16,120
I just surround myself with
what I want to surround myself with.
628
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,880
And I never sort of venture out.
629
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,080
So this is...is good for me.
630
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,840
Although I think
I'm going on holiday,
631
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,880
I'm learning about
cultures, languages,
632
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,840
you know,
all different walks of life.
633
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,840
And I think
that's a wonderful thing,
634
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,800
and I can't believe it's taken me
till I'm in my 50s to do that.
635
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,800
Ha! That's amazing.
636
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,480
I love the fact that this lady's
been to MGM Grand in Las Vegas.
637
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,520
SHE CHUCKLES
638
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,680
You see, that's how I see Russia.
639
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,200
That's my perception of Russia.
640
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,400
A box with a bit of thing on it,
selling two pairs of trousers.
641
00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,400
That's it.
642
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,200
Certainly was
my perception of Russia.
643
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:04,600
It isn't now.
644
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,320
Ooh, I feel quite at home
wondering round.
645
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,040
So much so I'm going
to tackle the lingo
646
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,440
with the help
of the latest technology.
647
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:17,400
I've... I've got this new-fangled
phone which is absolutely brilliant,
648
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,160
and I've got a translator
from Russian into English.
649
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,400
You see, you don't
even need to have...
650
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,240
..have anybody
to interpret any more,
651
00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,400
so I'm just going to see
what type of...
652
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,240
"A goldfish"?
653
00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:33,120
A gol...? No, I can't have that.
654
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,560
It says "damn".
655
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,760
"Sweet damn with condensed milk."
656
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,000
SHE CHUCKLES
657
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,960
So I'm going to do that one.
I'm going to go for the first one.
658
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,200
Excuse me, how do I say this?
659
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,720
Sgushchennym.
660
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:45,960
Sorry?
661
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,560
Sgushchennym. "Sgush-shon-nem"?
662
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,400
Sgushchennym. "Scoosh-onnem".
663
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,840
Sgushchennoye is condensed milk. OK.
664
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,000
Sg... Sgushchennym.
665
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,160
Sgushchennym. Sgushchennym.
666
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:57,760
Sgushchennym?
667
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,200
OK, so having a friendly
Russian interpreter close by
668
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,400
does help as well.
669
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,720
Yes. How do I say yes? Da.
670
00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:05,800
Da. Da.
671
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,400
Right, I'm hungry. I'm hungry now.
672
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:14,000
I am hungry. Mind you,
condensed milk, what was I thinking?
673
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,840
Condensed milk pancake
is a first for me.
674
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,760
I think I liked just saying
Gooshenoy moloko.
675
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,880
I don't know what it's going
to taste like.
676
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,640
Mm. Oh, that is lovely.
677
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,200
That is dancing across my tongue.
678
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:38,960
Oh, that's lovely.
679
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,880
Time to head back to the ship,
and I think the crew must have
680
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,000
caught wind of the fact that
I like a bit of a boogie.
681
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,560
What a welcome.
682
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,240
CHEERING
683
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,400
UP TEMPO JAZZ
684
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:14,520
Not just for me, though.
685
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,320
Everyone gets this kind of welcome.
686
00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:22,480
Well, after all that excitement,
it's time to get my head down
687
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,400
and dream of new adventures
in St Petersburg tomorrow.
688
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,080
KNOCK AT DOOR
689
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:33,400
What's all the racket?
690
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,360
Good morning. How are we?
691
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,880
How are you?
692
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:39,720
Oh, I'm just in heaven!
693
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,960
We're still in St Petersburg
and there's a lot to do
694
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,720
but I'm not budging
until I've had my breakfast.
695
00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:49,800
How do you think your diet is going
to go on the ship? My diet?
696
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,080
It's gone through the roof,
hasn't it?
697
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:56,760
You can diet all year but when you
come on a cruise, chill out, man.
698
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:03,000
Special occasions like cruising,
Christmas, birthdays,
699
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:07,080
Easter, any holiday, really.
700
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,480
Life is too short to be
for ever on a diet.
701
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:11,960
I'm having a waffle.
702
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:22,240
Thank you so very much. How
beautifully served is that?
703
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,120
It's like a piece of art.
704
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,920
I don't even want to eat it.
I am lying.
705
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,520
I really want to eat it!
706
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:33,960
So, how do you normally
have waffles?
707
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,360
Do you have them a lot thicker?
Yes. These are nice and thin.
708
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,840
I like them because they're thin.
Yeah. Half the guilt.
709
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,800
Half the guilt!
THEY LAUGH
710
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,160
Yesterday I followed
the tourist trail
711
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,440
but today I'm exploring a
different sort of St Petersburg,
712
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,280
the one the St Petersburgers know,
713
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,400
and first off,
I'm going underground.
714
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,360
Oh, blimey.
This is a bit posh for a tube.
715
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,520
Looks like Caesar's Palace.
716
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:05,800
What do I do, get a ticket?
717
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:10,800
Insert your card? No?
718
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,720
Ah, that's a bank.
I think that's a cash machine.
719
00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:14,120
Yeah, it is!
720
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:20,600
In Soviet Russia even the metro
was used as propaganda.
721
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,040
Yes, it was mass
transport for the masses,
722
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,680
but why shouldn't stations
be like the palaces above ground?
723
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,280
Here, there are wide,
sweeping staircases,
724
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,440
marble and grandeur everywhere.
725
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:32,880
It looks like John Lewis's!
726
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,920
I can't believe this is the tube.
727
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,000
I mean, look at this,
728
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,840
there are more chandeliers
than in Liberace's living room,
729
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,480
and that's saying something.
730
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,600
You've got crystal columns
at the tube station.
731
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:45,960
Only in Russia!
732
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:50,280
Every day more than 2.5 million
St Petersburgers use the metro
733
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,160
and all journeys cost less than 65p.
734
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,840
The stations may be different
735
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,400
but travelling underground
is much the same as anywhere else.
736
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,520
People don't talk much on the tube
in England either.
737
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,080
Wooooo!
738
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:06,920
Even the escalator's
the poshest I've ever seen.
739
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,600
Coming up, Hello Dolly...
740
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,240
They are more Russian than caviar
741
00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:18,400
and easier to keep
on the mantelpiece,
742
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,800
especially when they look like this!
743
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,600
Aww. These are fabulous.
744
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,560
Look, I've got my own Russian doll!
745
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:25,720
JANE LAUGHS
746
00:39:31,230 --> 00:39:33,430
I'm on a cruise round the Baltic Sea
747
00:39:33,430 --> 00:39:37,190
and we're on the second day of our
stopover in St Petersburg, Russia.
748
00:39:39,310 --> 00:39:41,910
Now, when I think of Russia
I tend to think of bears...
749
00:39:44,270 --> 00:39:45,630
Dancing Cossacks...
750
00:39:46,870 --> 00:39:48,550
..and, of course, Russian dolls.
751
00:39:49,830 --> 00:39:52,790
Now, I've never been a fan of dolls,
not even as a child,
752
00:39:52,790 --> 00:39:55,790
but I've been convinced that this
dolls house is worth a visit.
753
00:39:57,710 --> 00:40:00,590
Woohoo! Look at this!
754
00:40:00,590 --> 00:40:02,510
Oh, my goodness me.
755
00:40:02,510 --> 00:40:05,270
I want to show you the biggest
Matryoshka what we have.
756
00:40:05,270 --> 00:40:08,070
What is the story
behind a Russian doll?
757
00:40:08,070 --> 00:40:10,390
Why are they so popular?
758
00:40:11,630 --> 00:40:14,630
Because of the symbol of family.
759
00:40:14,630 --> 00:40:16,990
You can see the inside,
30 pieces inside.
760
00:40:16,990 --> 00:40:19,590
30?! 30, yeah.
Whoa, that's a big family.
761
00:40:21,470 --> 00:40:25,710
You can see that there are
only the woman's faces. Yeah...
762
00:40:25,710 --> 00:40:28,430
The madre, the most...
..important.
763
00:40:28,430 --> 00:40:30,190
Important in the family.
764
00:40:30,190 --> 00:40:33,270
Is that what you think in Russia,
that women are the most important?
765
00:40:33,270 --> 00:40:35,270
Yes. I like that.
766
00:40:35,270 --> 00:40:36,590
How much is that?
767
00:40:36,590 --> 00:40:38,550
So, this is, er...
768
00:40:38,550 --> 00:40:41,230
400,000 roubles.
769
00:40:41,230 --> 00:40:43,990
400,000 roubles?!
770
00:40:43,990 --> 00:40:45,670
How much is that in pounds?
771
00:40:45,670 --> 00:40:47,510
5,600.
772
00:40:47,510 --> 00:40:51,030
5628 quid for a doll?! Yeah.
773
00:40:51,030 --> 00:40:52,950
Well, 30 of them.
774
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:55,230
These dolls are all hand painted
775
00:40:55,230 --> 00:40:57,310
and each tells a different story.
776
00:40:57,310 --> 00:41:00,190
High-end matrushkas
are prized by collectors,
777
00:41:00,190 --> 00:41:02,390
including sentimental oligarchs,
778
00:41:02,390 --> 00:41:05,470
who have been known to commission
dolls studded with jewels
779
00:41:05,470 --> 00:41:06,990
that cost millions of dollars,
780
00:41:06,990 --> 00:41:09,190
so these are really
a bit of a bargain.
781
00:41:09,190 --> 00:41:11,110
You can see why they're worth
such a lot of money.
782
00:41:13,230 --> 00:41:14,830
It's still a lot of money
for a doll.
783
00:41:16,270 --> 00:41:17,630
So, on the inside...
784
00:41:17,630 --> 00:41:19,390
Oh!
DOLL SMASHES
785
00:41:19,390 --> 00:41:21,870
Eeeek! That was not me.
That was not me.
786
00:41:21,870 --> 00:41:24,070
It's me, it's me, it's me.
JANE LAUGHS
787
00:41:24,070 --> 00:41:26,390
I'm honestly not
sure about these dolls.
788
00:41:26,390 --> 00:41:29,390
I love a knick-knack like anyone
else but these are halfway between
789
00:41:29,390 --> 00:41:32,070
knick-knack and art
and you know me and art.
790
00:41:33,830 --> 00:41:38,750
Well, for me this has been an
education because I had no idea that
791
00:41:38,750 --> 00:41:42,790
the dolls had a real meaning
about family and the mother,
792
00:41:42,790 --> 00:41:45,310
being such an important part,
793
00:41:45,310 --> 00:41:50,150
so I've learned a lot today
about Matroyshka.
794
00:41:50,150 --> 00:41:52,870
And that's the thing,
it's about family,
795
00:41:52,870 --> 00:41:55,230
and she's the boss of it all,
so, yeah,
796
00:41:55,230 --> 00:41:56,990
I can see the meaning behind it now
797
00:41:56,990 --> 00:41:58,790
and it's a very important message.
798
00:42:01,150 --> 00:42:03,470
Celebrity dolls, now you're talking.
799
00:42:03,470 --> 00:42:05,310
Wow, presidents.
800
00:42:05,310 --> 00:42:06,430
Oh!
801
00:42:08,470 --> 00:42:10,990
That looks like me!
802
00:42:10,990 --> 00:42:13,510
That actually looks like me.
803
00:42:13,510 --> 00:42:16,110
Anthony, could you let me
have a look at this one?
804
00:42:17,470 --> 00:42:19,030
That's definitely me.
805
00:42:19,030 --> 00:42:21,470
Oh, my God, all of a sudden
I really like these!
806
00:42:23,790 --> 00:42:26,430
Oh! Oh, these are fabulous.
807
00:42:26,430 --> 00:42:28,910
Look, I've got my own Russian doll.
808
00:42:28,910 --> 00:42:32,150
Matrushka. Matrushka McDonald!
809
00:42:34,390 --> 00:42:37,990
So, how on Earth did this happen?
810
00:42:37,990 --> 00:42:39,510
HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
811
00:42:44,470 --> 00:42:46,350
Did you know?
812
00:42:47,510 --> 00:42:48,990
It's you!
It's me!
813
00:42:54,510 --> 00:42:55,830
This is wonderful.
814
00:42:55,830 --> 00:42:57,350
HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
815
00:42:57,350 --> 00:42:59,230
I'm surprised. I'm surprised, yeah.
816
00:42:59,230 --> 00:43:01,390
It's really nice.
My hair was a lot lighter.
817
00:43:01,390 --> 00:43:03,190
Obviously, I'm much younger.
818
00:43:03,190 --> 00:43:07,430
You're beautiful
and natural than matrushkas.
819
00:43:07,430 --> 00:43:08,790
Did you hear that?
820
00:43:08,790 --> 00:43:11,190
You got that on camera
that he says I'm much more beautiful
821
00:43:11,190 --> 00:43:13,190
in the flesh?
822
00:43:13,190 --> 00:43:14,350
It's all I'm going to say.
823
00:43:14,350 --> 00:43:16,470
I think I need a hug.
Anthony, thank you so much.
824
00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:20,190
Oh, I love my job.
825
00:43:20,190 --> 00:43:22,030
I know when to quit,
826
00:43:22,030 --> 00:43:24,510
and nothing's going to top
my Matrushka moment
827
00:43:24,510 --> 00:43:27,430
so I think it's time to say,
"Proshay St Petersburg,"
828
00:43:27,430 --> 00:43:29,110
that's Russian for arrivederci.
829
00:43:31,230 --> 00:43:34,070
Viewers of a nervous disposition
look away now.
830
00:43:35,470 --> 00:43:37,830
Actually, that's not a look
for camera, is it?
831
00:43:39,510 --> 00:43:41,550
That's not a look
for the viewers to see me in.
832
00:43:41,550 --> 00:43:43,470
They're used to seeing me
looking glamorous.
833
00:43:43,470 --> 00:43:45,110
Look, these need to be in
834
00:43:45,110 --> 00:43:48,390
because these lovely rollers
heat up in this.
835
00:43:48,390 --> 00:43:50,470
It's like a microwave for rollers,
836
00:43:50,470 --> 00:43:53,190
and they're absolutely brilliant
but they burn my lugs,
837
00:43:53,190 --> 00:43:55,430
so I've got to put these in.
838
00:43:55,430 --> 00:43:57,270
It's a look, isn't it?
839
00:43:57,270 --> 00:43:59,270
This is all my secrets going now.
840
00:43:59,270 --> 00:44:00,950
My heated rollers...
841
00:44:00,950 --> 00:44:03,110
Mind you, they must know
it's not natural.
842
00:44:03,110 --> 00:44:04,470
It's not natural here.
843
00:44:05,750 --> 00:44:06,910
No.
844
00:44:09,270 --> 00:44:10,750
This room's a mess.
845
00:44:11,910 --> 00:44:15,790
I've been invited
to Sandra and Robert's
846
00:44:15,790 --> 00:44:20,630
for a glass of champagne but there's
only two champagne glasses
847
00:44:20,630 --> 00:44:23,870
in their cabin, so you've got
to bring your own glass.
848
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,950
Are you sure? Yes, it's fine.
Thank you so much. Nice to see you.
849
00:44:26,950 --> 00:44:28,230
You're very welcome.
850
00:44:29,990 --> 00:44:33,750
I love this room. Welcome to
our cabin. It's gorgeous, isn't it?
851
00:44:33,750 --> 00:44:35,670
It is. Oh, it's so tidy.
852
00:44:37,150 --> 00:44:38,510
Good, ready to go.
853
00:44:40,550 --> 00:44:42,430
Do you know them? Yes.
854
00:44:45,950 --> 00:44:47,870
Can I just go for the lobster,
please?
855
00:44:53,790 --> 00:44:55,430
ALL: Cheers!
856
00:45:04,910 --> 00:45:06,310
From St Petersburg,
857
00:45:06,310 --> 00:45:09,350
it is a quick sail to Helsinki,
capital of Finland.
858
00:45:09,350 --> 00:45:12,270
I have no idea what to expect,
but bring it on.
859
00:45:14,950 --> 00:45:17,670
Helsinki is the largest
city in Finland
860
00:45:17,670 --> 00:45:22,190
and is made up of small islands
and green urban areas.
861
00:45:22,190 --> 00:45:25,430
It's easy to get around, with
a great public transport system,
862
00:45:25,430 --> 00:45:28,510
but you know me -
I love to explore by foot.
863
00:45:31,510 --> 00:45:33,110
Hey. Where you going?
864
00:45:33,110 --> 00:45:35,110
I'm going to Helsinki.
I'm in Finland.
865
00:45:35,110 --> 00:45:38,190
I'm going to Helsinki,
in the town centre!
866
00:45:40,350 --> 00:45:43,070
Sun's shining again. Fantastic.
867
00:45:43,070 --> 00:45:47,390
Disrobed. I haven't got my vest on
today, so that's a big plus for me.
868
00:45:47,390 --> 00:45:50,030
Why are you so excited about
going through this adventure?
869
00:45:50,030 --> 00:45:51,870
Because I'm going for an adventure!
870
00:45:51,870 --> 00:45:55,390
Don't forget an adventure is just
an experience you haven't had yet.
871
00:45:55,390 --> 00:45:56,390
Oh, yes!
872
00:45:59,110 --> 00:46:03,350
A cruise is like being
on a magic carpet ride,
873
00:46:03,350 --> 00:46:05,310
because you get on board,
you unpack,
874
00:46:05,310 --> 00:46:07,870
and then you think,
"I want to be in Copenhagen."
875
00:46:07,870 --> 00:46:10,390
Whoosh! It takes you there,
and then you think,
876
00:46:10,390 --> 00:46:13,790
"I want to be in St Petersburg,"
and it goes, "Whoosh!"
877
00:46:13,790 --> 00:46:14,910
And you're there.
878
00:46:14,910 --> 00:46:18,230
And then you want to be in Helsinki,
and it's, "Whoosh!"
879
00:46:18,230 --> 00:46:19,550
and you're there.
880
00:46:19,550 --> 00:46:21,990
How fab is that?
We're on a magic carpet ride.
881
00:46:24,150 --> 00:46:25,510
What's that?
882
00:46:25,510 --> 00:46:28,310
It's a man on a bike pushing a shop.
883
00:46:28,310 --> 00:46:30,750
That's one thing I've
seen on this trip.
884
00:46:30,750 --> 00:46:33,390
There's a lot of people
who drive to work,
885
00:46:33,390 --> 00:46:37,070
and then on whatever they've
driven to work, there's a shop!
886
00:46:37,070 --> 00:46:41,750
So there's a lot of cars with...
You know, that have shops.
887
00:46:41,750 --> 00:46:47,830
This is obviously a coffee
shop on a bike.
888
00:46:47,830 --> 00:46:49,430
It's nice, isn't it?
889
00:46:50,510 --> 00:46:53,750
Saves rent, rates.
890
00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:55,510
Hi.
891
00:46:55,510 --> 00:46:58,910
Been weird, because every
single weather forecast
892
00:46:58,910 --> 00:47:04,030
that we've had this week
has forecast rain and snow
893
00:47:04,030 --> 00:47:07,430
and all things really bad weather,
894
00:47:07,430 --> 00:47:10,710
and we only had one rainy day,
didn't we?
895
00:47:10,710 --> 00:47:11,830
When we arrived.
896
00:47:14,030 --> 00:47:16,470
HORN BEEPS
Ooh!
897
00:47:16,470 --> 00:47:17,790
God, that...
898
00:47:17,790 --> 00:47:20,390
That were a bit spooky,
that, actually.
899
00:47:23,110 --> 00:47:27,430
I must admit, there's some
beautiful people over here.
900
00:47:27,430 --> 00:47:29,790
Really stunning looking people.
901
00:47:29,790 --> 00:47:33,030
And I'd love to just sit
and people watch all day.
902
00:47:33,030 --> 00:47:37,190
I love just sitting down in a cafe
and watching the world go by.
903
00:47:42,190 --> 00:47:44,630
Well, I love sitting
and having a coffee,
904
00:47:44,630 --> 00:47:49,190
and every coffee tastes
different in every place,
905
00:47:50,510 --> 00:47:52,910
and this one is lovely.
906
00:47:54,590 --> 00:47:57,350
I don't like it too strong, because
I can't blink for ten minutes
907
00:47:57,350 --> 00:47:59,270
when I've had a strong coffee.
908
00:47:59,270 --> 00:48:02,390
But this one is really nice.
One shot. Nice.
909
00:48:02,390 --> 00:48:05,470
And you can watch the world go by.
910
00:48:05,470 --> 00:48:09,350
And I think a lot of people
tend to do too much.
911
00:48:09,350 --> 00:48:14,790
You know, you can have as much
enjoyment just sat watching the day.
912
00:48:20,510 --> 00:48:25,390
Coming up, I discover that Finnish
design is not all that it seems.
913
00:48:25,390 --> 00:48:30,310
The original paintings are done by
a Finnish bear. A real live bear?
914
00:48:30,310 --> 00:48:31,710
A real live bear.
915
00:48:38,820 --> 00:48:40,140
Morning.
916
00:48:40,140 --> 00:48:41,660
I'm cruising the Baltics,
917
00:48:41,660 --> 00:48:45,140
and today we're in Helsinki,
the capital of Finland.
918
00:48:49,020 --> 00:48:51,580
There's lots of things to see here,
919
00:48:51,580 --> 00:48:54,540
including the Kamppi
Chapel of Silence,
920
00:48:54,540 --> 00:48:56,820
a peaceful sanctuary
in the heart of the city.
921
00:49:00,820 --> 00:49:02,900
Take a ferry to Suomenlinna,
922
00:49:02,900 --> 00:49:08,180
a little island where you can
visit an 18th-century fortress.
923
00:49:08,180 --> 00:49:10,860
Or you could get stuck in
to some Baltic herring.
924
00:49:10,860 --> 00:49:15,460
It is very popular here
on top of some rye bread.
925
00:49:15,460 --> 00:49:19,220
Plus, Finland has a great reputation
in the design world.
926
00:49:19,220 --> 00:49:23,260
Anyone or anything can become
a design icon here.
927
00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:26,300
Jutta creates her own designs
from photographs
928
00:49:26,300 --> 00:49:28,300
and sells them here in her shop.
929
00:49:28,300 --> 00:49:31,020
Hello, can I come in? Hello!
Yeah, surely. Thank you.
930
00:49:31,020 --> 00:49:33,780
Hello, I'm Jane, by the way.
Hi, I'm Jutta. Welcome.
931
00:49:33,780 --> 00:49:37,180
Jutta. Jutta, yes. Jutta.
I love this.
932
00:49:37,180 --> 00:49:40,620
I've noticed that Helsinki
is all designer.
933
00:49:40,620 --> 00:49:44,060
It's got lots of little boutique
places, like yourself.
934
00:49:44,060 --> 00:49:45,780
Why do you think that is?
935
00:49:45,780 --> 00:49:49,780
I think that we inhale
the design when we're young,
936
00:49:49,780 --> 00:49:52,860
because our houses,
937
00:49:52,860 --> 00:49:56,660
no matter if it's a little bit
not so well-off family,
938
00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:59,140
we have design items at home.
939
00:49:59,140 --> 00:50:01,620
Glassware and things like that.
940
00:50:01,620 --> 00:50:04,260
So you're very good at DIY.
941
00:50:04,260 --> 00:50:06,940
Do it yourself. Yes. Yeah?
Yes. Yes, we are.
942
00:50:06,940 --> 00:50:11,540
And there's a lot of handicraft
shops around and so on, so it's...
943
00:50:11,540 --> 00:50:14,780
In-built. It's in-built, yes.
Do you learn it at school?
944
00:50:14,780 --> 00:50:18,780
I don't know what it's called in
English. The, like, building.
945
00:50:18,780 --> 00:50:22,340
Architecture, woodwork...
Woodwork. Woodwork, yes.
946
00:50:22,340 --> 00:50:25,220
Yes, so we change, like...
947
00:50:25,220 --> 00:50:27,860
We'll do both males and females.
948
00:50:27,860 --> 00:50:30,820
At least they did a long time ago
when I was in school.
949
00:50:30,820 --> 00:50:33,300
I have no idea what they do now.
You don't look old enough.
950
00:50:36,260 --> 00:50:39,140
So show me around.
And this is all your photographs?
951
00:50:39,140 --> 00:50:42,180
This is all my photographs.
I do the design myself.
952
00:50:42,180 --> 00:50:47,420
This is actually taken from
my shop door. Really? Yes.
953
00:50:47,420 --> 00:50:51,340
Here is something really,
really new. Yeah. This is...
954
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:56,940
The original paintings are done
by a Finnish bear called Juuso.
955
00:50:56,940 --> 00:50:59,660
A real bear? A living...
Real, living bear.
956
00:50:59,660 --> 00:51:03,420
Not like Bear Grylls.
More like Yogi Bear.
957
00:51:03,420 --> 00:51:07,580
This is a real, living bear.
A real live bear? A real live bear.
958
00:51:09,540 --> 00:51:13,780
How does he paint? He doesn't
have a brush. He uses his paws.
959
00:51:13,780 --> 00:51:19,020
You can see... That's a paw.
Claws. Claws, yeah. And hair.
960
00:51:19,020 --> 00:51:22,780
But I haven't yet gotten
to meet Juuso,
961
00:51:22,780 --> 00:51:25,740
but I will definitely go
and meet Juuso this summer,
962
00:51:25,740 --> 00:51:27,900
and I've heard that
I'm going to be...
963
00:51:27,900 --> 00:51:29,340
Because I really want to kiss Juuso,
964
00:51:29,340 --> 00:51:31,860
and I wanted to get a picture
of me and Juuso kissing,
965
00:51:31,860 --> 00:51:33,340
so that's going to be really cool.
966
00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:34,620
He might bite your head off.
967
00:51:34,620 --> 00:51:37,460
Have you not seen that film
with Brad Pitt? Which one?
968
00:51:37,460 --> 00:51:39,860
The one where he gets
mauled by a bear.
969
00:51:39,860 --> 00:51:42,060
ASIDE: Leonardo DiCaprio.
Leo DiCaprio. I meant him.
970
00:51:42,060 --> 00:51:45,260
Have you not seen the film
with Leonardo DiCaprio?
971
00:51:45,260 --> 00:51:49,980
No. Where it's got a bear.
I don't think so. No?
972
00:51:49,980 --> 00:51:53,140
I wouldn't watch it just
before you go, all right?
973
00:51:53,140 --> 00:51:55,980
I admire you so much
for kissing a bear.
974
00:51:55,980 --> 00:51:59,140
But then again, you're selling
his art, so why not?
975
00:51:59,140 --> 00:52:01,500
I'm sure they'll both
grin and bear it.
976
00:52:02,980 --> 00:52:05,620
Oh, I do like that.
That's shadows of twigs.
977
00:52:05,620 --> 00:52:08,860
LOUD CLATTERING
Whoops! That's all right.
978
00:52:08,860 --> 00:52:10,780
Thank you.
979
00:52:10,780 --> 00:52:14,100
I can't believe I've just spent
300 quid on cushion covers.
980
00:52:14,100 --> 00:52:17,660
But they are beautiful,
and worth every penny.
981
00:52:17,660 --> 00:52:19,940
Ed, they are worth every penny.
982
00:52:19,940 --> 00:52:20,940
Don't worry.
983
00:52:32,500 --> 00:52:35,980
This place is flipping fantastic.
984
00:52:35,980 --> 00:52:38,340
You see, for two pins today,
985
00:52:38,340 --> 00:52:41,660
I would have just stayed on
the ship cos it's that beautiful,
986
00:52:41,660 --> 00:52:44,620
put my feet up,
had a couple of cakes,
987
00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:47,260
cup of tea and just chilled out.
988
00:52:47,260 --> 00:52:49,420
But look what I would have missed!
989
00:52:49,420 --> 00:52:51,060
Just look at all this.
990
00:52:51,060 --> 00:52:55,260
Everywhere you look,
once again, is a postcard.
991
00:52:55,260 --> 00:52:57,860
It's gorgeous.
992
00:52:57,860 --> 00:52:59,700
JANE SINGS ROCKY THEME TUNE
993
00:53:04,700 --> 00:53:07,620
SHE LAUGHS
994
00:53:10,220 --> 00:53:12,100
I need to walk around.
995
00:53:12,100 --> 00:53:13,540
I need to walk round the ship.
996
00:53:23,660 --> 00:53:25,940
I am running like a du...
SHE LAUGHS
997
00:53:29,260 --> 00:53:31,500
Well, the crew didn't
seem to get the memo
998
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,820
that this is a lazy,
relaxing cruise,
999
00:53:33,820 --> 00:53:36,060
so that's exactly what
I'm going to do.
1000
00:53:36,060 --> 00:53:39,500
Mrs McDonald.
Yeah... Ooh. Yes?
1001
00:53:39,500 --> 00:53:41,460
Whenever you're ready. Ooh.
1002
00:53:41,460 --> 00:53:43,620
Ooh, that were a bit
authoritative, weren't it?
1003
00:53:43,620 --> 00:53:45,980
Right, I'm going in. Woo!
1004
00:53:45,980 --> 00:53:48,900
So you ready for a massage?
I am, I am. Very good.
1005
00:53:48,900 --> 00:53:52,020
So what's the difference between
a Swedish one and a normal one?
1006
00:53:52,020 --> 00:53:54,780
Well, a Swedish massage,
we use the different techniques.
1007
00:53:54,780 --> 00:53:59,460
So we have the effleurage,
petrissage, and frictions.
1008
00:53:59,460 --> 00:54:03,700
We're going to go this way.
This is my treatment room. OK.
1009
00:54:03,700 --> 00:54:06,900
Welcome. You can go straight ahead.
Oh, this is nice.
1010
00:54:11,780 --> 00:54:13,660
Take one Jane McDonald
1011
00:54:13,660 --> 00:54:17,820
and leave in capable hands of
Nordic masseur for one hour.
1012
00:54:20,180 --> 00:54:22,820
Mrs McDonald, how do you feel?
1013
00:54:22,820 --> 00:54:25,340
A bit drained. Yeah?
Thank you very much.
1014
00:54:25,340 --> 00:54:28,860
Aw, I hope you liked it.
I did. Every bit.
1015
00:54:28,860 --> 00:54:31,260
Very good, very good.
Thank you. See you later.
1016
00:54:31,260 --> 00:54:33,540
See you around, all right?
See you around.
1017
00:54:33,540 --> 00:54:36,620
And then do not disturb
for the rest of the day.
1018
00:54:36,620 --> 00:54:38,260
Thank you and goodnight.
1019
00:54:40,060 --> 00:54:43,420
Coming up, I talk to a tree, so...
1020
00:54:43,420 --> 00:54:45,420
SHE SNEEZES
Excuse me.
1021
00:54:45,420 --> 00:54:48,060
That'll teach me to go
around sniffing trees.
1022
00:54:48,060 --> 00:54:52,140
And I fulfil a lifetime ambition
and join a supergroup!
1023
00:54:52,140 --> 00:54:56,780
Ho-ho! Oh, my God. I'm going to be
the fifth member of ABBA. Woo!
1024
00:54:56,780 --> 00:54:57,780
CHEERING
1025
00:55:03,260 --> 00:55:05,740
I'm in the Baltic on the Viking Sky.
1026
00:55:05,740 --> 00:55:08,380
A week of cruising luxury
is coming to an end,
1027
00:55:08,380 --> 00:55:10,580
and I wish it could go on forever.
1028
00:55:10,580 --> 00:55:13,180
Do you know, I love this
part of the world.
1029
00:55:13,180 --> 00:55:17,020
And that seagull's been
with us all that time.
1030
00:55:17,020 --> 00:55:20,820
There are more than 30,000 islands
in the Swedish archipelago,
1031
00:55:20,820 --> 00:55:22,340
and we're sailing pass loads of them
1032
00:55:22,340 --> 00:55:23,780
as we head into Stockholm,
1033
00:55:23,780 --> 00:55:25,380
our final destination.
1034
00:55:28,140 --> 00:55:29,180
Hello!
1035
00:55:29,180 --> 00:55:31,980
SHIP BLOWS HORN
1036
00:55:31,980 --> 00:55:34,180
It's going to take us
an hour to get there,
1037
00:55:34,180 --> 00:55:37,620
which means just enough time for an
outing with the camera on my stick.
1038
00:55:39,980 --> 00:55:42,420
I've been on this ship now
for quite a few days.
1039
00:55:42,420 --> 00:55:43,740
I still get lost.
1040
00:55:44,780 --> 00:55:47,900
Something you will always do.
1041
00:55:47,900 --> 00:55:49,380
Listen, tip as well -
1042
00:55:49,380 --> 00:55:51,140
always find out where
your loos are...
1043
00:55:52,900 --> 00:55:55,060
..because you never know.
1044
00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:56,100
I can hear a bird.
1045
00:55:56,100 --> 00:55:59,140
BIRDS CHIRP
1046
00:55:59,140 --> 00:56:01,340
Ah.
1047
00:56:01,340 --> 00:56:04,100
I like the birds going in the
background. That's nice, isn't it?
1048
00:56:04,100 --> 00:56:07,940
Suppose it feels like you're doing
your ablutions in the woods.
1049
00:56:07,940 --> 00:56:09,820
Like the bears do.
1050
00:56:09,820 --> 00:56:11,420
Look at this tree.
1051
00:56:11,420 --> 00:56:13,900
My God, it smells like Christmas.
1052
00:56:13,900 --> 00:56:15,460
That's got to be a fake.
1053
00:56:15,460 --> 00:56:17,660
Do they come and spray it everyday?
1054
00:56:17,660 --> 00:56:19,500
Or is it real?
1055
00:56:19,500 --> 00:56:20,980
It's probably real.
1056
00:56:20,980 --> 00:56:22,900
See, we live in such
a fake world, don't we?
1057
00:56:22,900 --> 00:56:24,860
We think everything's fake.
1058
00:56:24,860 --> 00:56:26,100
SHE SNEEZES
1059
00:56:26,100 --> 00:56:29,460
Excuse me. That'll teach me
to go around sniffing trees.
1060
00:56:29,460 --> 00:56:34,460
Everywhere you look,
there's amazing pieces of art.
1061
00:56:34,460 --> 00:56:37,940
See, to me, that just looks like
a very young Susan Boyle.
1062
00:56:37,940 --> 00:56:41,340
It does look like Susan Boyle,
doesn't it?
1063
00:56:41,340 --> 00:56:43,580
Well, you've had another
tour of the ship.
1064
00:56:43,580 --> 00:56:45,260
It's fabulous!
1065
00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:48,340
TANNOY: Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen.
1066
00:56:48,340 --> 00:56:51,020
We hope you enjoyed this beautiful
sailing as we made our way
1067
00:56:51,020 --> 00:56:53,420
through the spectacular
archipelago this morning.
1068
00:56:53,420 --> 00:56:55,100
We are currently
repositioning the ship
1069
00:56:55,100 --> 00:56:57,980
to dock alongside Stadsgarden Pier.
1070
00:56:57,980 --> 00:57:00,140
Ta-ra! Welcome to Sweden. Thank you.
1071
00:57:01,940 --> 00:57:03,940
Aw, look at this day!
1072
00:57:09,060 --> 00:57:10,780
We've arrived in Stockholm,
1073
00:57:10,780 --> 00:57:13,180
and it's easy to see why
this has been nicknamed
1074
00:57:13,180 --> 00:57:15,540
the Venice of the North.
1075
00:57:15,540 --> 00:57:16,900
There's water everywhere.
1076
00:57:23,780 --> 00:57:26,140
Stockholm may be
the capital of Sweden
1077
00:57:26,140 --> 00:57:28,540
and one of the most beautiful
cities in the Baltic,
1078
00:57:28,540 --> 00:57:31,460
but, for me, there's only
one thing to do today.
1079
00:57:31,460 --> 00:57:34,700
No, it's not a trip to IKEA
to eat meatballs.
1080
00:57:34,700 --> 00:57:38,380
I'm going to pay homage to Sweden's
greatest ever export.
1081
00:57:38,380 --> 00:57:41,300
Something that quite literally
changed my life.
1082
00:57:41,300 --> 00:57:43,140
And, no, not a Volvo.
1083
00:57:45,060 --> 00:57:48,460
We are at the ABBA museum. Yes!
1084
00:58:00,660 --> 00:58:02,860
SHE GIGGLES
1085
00:58:02,860 --> 00:58:04,900
Look at this!
1086
00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:07,660
ABBA! ABBA!
1087
00:58:07,660 --> 00:58:09,300
ABBA!
1088
00:58:09,300 --> 00:58:11,460
That's such a great logo.
1089
00:58:12,740 --> 00:58:15,580
I didn't think I would
be this excited,
1090
00:58:15,580 --> 00:58:19,340
but I'm really excited, Ingmarie.
You are, for real! I am.
1091
00:58:21,380 --> 00:58:25,460
This is a little exhibition about
the Eurovision Song Contest.
1092
00:58:25,460 --> 00:58:29,780
1974, Waterloo. Those outfits.
So this is the original outfit.
1093
00:58:29,780 --> 00:58:31,980
Oh, my goodness me.
1094
00:58:31,980 --> 00:58:35,260
I can't believe I'm looking
at the very outfits
1095
00:58:35,260 --> 00:58:38,300
that I watched them win in.
1096
00:58:38,300 --> 00:58:41,140
Ingmarie is the director
of the ABBA museum,
1097
00:58:41,140 --> 00:58:44,100
but started working with
the band in the 1970s -
1098
00:58:44,100 --> 00:58:46,660
hair, make-up and wardrobe.
1099
00:58:46,660 --> 00:58:48,500
This is me. Oh, look at you!
1100
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:52,740
On the tour in '79 doing
the washing... Aw, love.
1101
00:58:52,740 --> 00:58:55,060
..between the truck and the post.
1102
00:58:55,060 --> 00:58:56,780
I think it's great
that you made it work.
1103
00:58:56,780 --> 00:59:00,780
You've made it work.
That's all you need to do.
1104
00:59:00,780 --> 00:59:04,620
And you'd think a band as famous
as ABBA would be happy on tour.
1105
00:59:04,620 --> 00:59:07,700
To be really honest, they didn't
like touring that much.
1106
00:59:07,700 --> 00:59:10,660
Frida loved to be onstage, yes.
1107
00:59:10,660 --> 00:59:15,100
She was quite shy in front
of people offstage.
1108
00:59:15,100 --> 00:59:17,700
I know that Benny
wasn't keen on touring,
1109
00:59:17,700 --> 00:59:21,020
because he was such a perfectionist
when it comes to music,
1110
00:59:21,020 --> 00:59:26,180
so if something sounds like this on
a record, it has to sound like that.
1111
00:59:30,380 --> 00:59:32,060
Who was the funniest out of them?
1112
00:59:32,060 --> 00:59:35,060
Mm, I would say Bjorn. Mm!
1113
00:59:35,060 --> 00:59:39,580
Comes as a surprise,
because he's not the funny guy
1114
00:59:39,580 --> 00:59:42,020
when it comes to interviews
and stuff like that,
1115
00:59:42,020 --> 00:59:45,820
but he's extremely funny
off-cam or offstage.
1116
00:59:45,820 --> 00:59:50,020
Frida was very funny as well.
She and her crazy laugh.
1117
00:59:50,020 --> 00:59:51,660
Sounds like a mule.
1118
00:59:51,660 --> 00:59:54,140
That on a tour bus
can be really annoying.
1119
00:59:54,140 --> 00:59:55,660
You know what I mean? Can't it?
1120
00:59:55,660 --> 00:59:58,860
Oh, look, look, look.
It's the bench. The very bench.
1121
00:59:58,860 --> 01:00:01,060
Is that really the very bench
that they sat on?
1122
01:00:01,060 --> 01:00:04,340
No, it's not. Oh, it's not, no.
But it looks like it!
1123
01:00:04,340 --> 01:00:07,380
You're supposed to sit there
in between Agnetha and Frida.
1124
01:00:07,380 --> 01:00:08,540
OK, can I sit?
1125
01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:14,820
That is amazing, thank you.
1126
01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:18,060
Oh, wow. What a great thing to do.
1127
01:00:18,060 --> 01:00:19,220
Look at that.
1128
01:00:25,540 --> 01:00:27,620
You ready for the stage now?
1129
01:00:27,620 --> 01:00:29,860
I can do it? You can be
the fifth member.
1130
01:00:29,860 --> 01:00:31,260
SHE SHRIEKS
1131
01:00:31,260 --> 01:00:34,300
Oh, my God, I'm going to be
the fifth member of ABBA!
1132
01:00:39,780 --> 01:00:43,340
Absolutely elated. Puffed out.
1133
01:00:43,340 --> 01:00:44,940
Taken back nostalgically.
1134
01:00:47,140 --> 01:00:51,420
When you hear all those amazing
songs, see how it was all made.
1135
01:00:51,420 --> 01:00:52,820
You could practically touch it.
1136
01:00:52,820 --> 01:00:56,340
You actually feel as if ABBA
are here. It's bizarre.
1137
01:00:56,340 --> 01:00:59,180
Whoa, look at that suit.
1138
01:00:59,180 --> 01:01:03,420
Fabulous. What a great time
I've had here. Thank you.
1139
01:01:03,420 --> 01:01:07,420
Well, not many people can say that
they've sang on stage with ABBA.
1140
01:01:07,420 --> 01:01:10,060
I'll treasure that memory forever.
1141
01:01:10,060 --> 01:01:12,060
DISTANT: Oh, it's the best ever!
1142
01:01:12,060 --> 01:01:15,180
MUSIC: The Winner Takes It All
by ABBA
1143
01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:20,060
I've loved every destination
on this cruise.
1144
01:01:20,060 --> 01:01:22,220
Never would have been something
I would have picked
1145
01:01:22,220 --> 01:01:24,460
in a million years.
1146
01:01:24,460 --> 01:01:27,460
I've been so shocked
at how lovely it is,
1147
01:01:27,460 --> 01:01:29,780
and how really I haven't explored
1148
01:01:29,780 --> 01:01:32,820
this wonderful world
that we live in.
1149
01:01:32,820 --> 01:01:34,540
I would definitely come back.
1150
01:01:34,540 --> 01:01:35,620
Without a doubt.
1151
01:01:39,700 --> 01:01:43,300
# I don't want to talk
1152
01:01:43,300 --> 01:01:47,500
# About things we've gone through
1153
01:01:47,500 --> 01:01:50,660
# Though it's hurting me
1154
01:01:50,660 --> 01:01:53,620
# Now it's history
1155
01:01:55,300 --> 01:01:59,140
# I've played all my cards
1156
01:01:59,140 --> 01:02:02,900
# And that's what you've done, too
1157
01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:06,540
# Nothing more to say
1158
01:02:06,540 --> 01:02:10,380
# No more ace to play
1159
01:02:10,380 --> 01:02:14,460
# The winner takes it all
1160
01:02:14,460 --> 01:02:18,340
# The loser standing small
1161
01:02:18,340 --> 01:02:22,100
# Beside the victory
1162
01:02:22,100 --> 01:02:26,180
# That's her destiny
1163
01:02:26,180 --> 01:02:30,060
# But tell me, does she kiss
1164
01:02:30,060 --> 01:02:33,900
# Like I used to kiss you?
1165
01:02:33,900 --> 01:02:37,780
# Does it feel the same
1166
01:02:37,780 --> 01:02:41,580
# When she calls your name?
1167
01:02:41,580 --> 01:02:45,420
# Somewhere deep inside
1168
01:02:45,420 --> 01:02:49,220
# You must know I miss you
1169
01:02:49,220 --> 01:02:52,820
# But what can I say?
1170
01:02:52,820 --> 01:02:56,620
# Rules must be obeyed
1171
01:02:56,620 --> 01:03:00,500
# The judges will decide
1172
01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:04,380
# The likes of me abide
1173
01:03:04,380 --> 01:03:08,340
# Spectators of the show
1174
01:03:08,340 --> 01:03:11,900
# Always staying low
1175
01:03:11,900 --> 01:03:15,580
# The game is on again
1176
01:03:15,580 --> 01:03:19,540
# A lover or a friend?
1177
01:03:19,540 --> 01:03:23,420
# A big thing or a small?
1178
01:03:23,420 --> 01:03:28,300
# The winner takes it all! #
1179
01:03:33,660 --> 01:03:34,660
What?
1180
01:03:38,020 --> 01:03:41,140
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