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1
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:04,787
So yeah, I'm throwing
a Cat-A-Versary party,
2
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:07,442
because the café's been
open a year, can you believe it?
3
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,139
It's a fundraiser
for the Humane Society.
4
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,401
There'll be cats in costumes
5
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,099
and a photo booth
and kettle corn.
6
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:14,492
Kettle corn? You should have led
with that. I'm in.
7
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,625
Great. So, uh...
8
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,061
how's tall and grumpy doing?
9
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,845
Oh, he's a pure delight
around me,
10
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,586
but when I mentioned you
earlier,
11
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,588
he clenched his fist so hard
he broke the soda gun.
12
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,243
Well, I am undeterred.
13
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:32,075
Hey, Max, I-I'd love to see you
at my Cat-A-Versary party.
14
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:38,212
Uh, Carter's gonna be there,
my mom's coming.
15
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,257
She's auditioning
for the musical Cats
16
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:41,911
at the community theater,
so she's been spending
17
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,696
a lot of time at the café
to research cat behavior.
18
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:47,612
Here's your coffee, Mother.
19
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,487
Look, I get that you're
still upset with me
20
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,358
for reaching out
to your ex-girlfriend
21
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,360
while on sleeping medication
not prescribed to me, but--
22
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,493
Oh, men's room? Ha.
23
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:01,452
Still undeterred.
24
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:04,281
Deterred.
Definitely deterred.
25
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,634
-Wow, that looks amazing.
-Thanks.
26
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:12,420
I've been doing squats.
27
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:15,771
Katharine, please help me
get this feline off my lap.
28
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:18,513
Oh, Mr. Mousekers never
falls asleep in someone's lap.
29
00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:20,167
Well, he's been here
quite a while, and now
30
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:21,516
I have to use the ladies' room,
and his weight
31
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,692
is pressing on my bladder.
32
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,041
Please don't bring up
his weight.
33
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,391
He just got his confidence
back up.
34
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,654
Mr. Mousekers...
35
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:32,483
Uh-oh.
36
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,789
What's wrong?
37
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:36,270
-Mommy?
-Yes?
38
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:41,144
-I don't think Mr. Mousekers
is sleeping. -Oh...
39
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,625
Well, I hate to be
the bearer of bad news,
40
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,801
but the oven just crapped out.
41
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:48,673
I mean, honestly,
can you think of anything worse
42
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:52,155
to happen before our
Cat-A-Versary party?
43
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,854
♪
44
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:03,340
Kat, he was old,
but you gave him a great life.
45
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,081
Every time he would lay
on your laptop,
46
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,214
you would just stop working
so he could sleep there.
47
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,346
PHIL: And then you bought him
his own computer
48
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,739
so he could lay right by you.
49
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,523
Which I'd like to call dibs on.
50
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,700
Not the time.
51
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,702
I just have that same
heavy feeling in my heart
52
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,922
that I had when my dad died.
53
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,880
And, disturbing coincidence,
they both died
54
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:23,491
on top of my mother.
55
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:28,191
Well, just remind yourself
it's a cat and not a person.
56
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,671
Uh-oh.
57
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,371
Yeah, I know it's a cat
and not a person.
58
00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:35,938
A cat that I loved very deeply.
59
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,940
The first cat I rescued.
60
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,203
The only cat who knew how
to pee on a potty.
61
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,944
And do you know who
taught him to do that?
62
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:44,251
No one. He learned just by
observing human behavior.
63
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,991
He was that smart.
64
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,951
Okay, I'm sorry.
That came out wrong.
65
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:51,693
I'm just-- I'm gonna go upstairs
for a little bit.
66
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:54,739
Alone.
67
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,787
Randi, I'm having Mr. Mousekers
cremated.
68
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,616
[whispering]:
Can you pick up his ashes later today?
69
00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,531
There's nothing I'd rather do.
70
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:06,447
Well, there are some things,
but once again, not the time.
71
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,318
And I'm gonna cancel the party.
72
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:10,277
I don't even care
if I don't get my deposit back
73
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,540
on that ice cat sculpture.
74
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,803
I didn't want
to burst her bubble,
75
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:17,414
but I'm the one
who taught that cat to pee
76
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,677
on the terlet.
77
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,858
Ooh, this is a nice surprise.
78
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,730
A hot chick and a gift?
79
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:30,993
A hot chick, yes.
Gift, no.
80
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,603
These are Mr. Mousekers' ashes.
81
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,170
The pet crematorium is
only two blocks away,
82
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,954
so I figured I'd stop by.
83
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,043
You didn't figure you should
leave those in the car?
84
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:40,655
No way! What if
his cat ghost got out
85
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,178
and started haunting my car,
86
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,354
changing my radio presets
to smooth jazz?
87
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:47,183
Great, now I'm thinking
about a dead cat
88
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,750
more than I'm thinking about
stuff that we're not
89
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,273
supposed to talk about
in front of our friends.
90
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,319
So you're complaining that
I stopped by?
91
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,973
Get in here with your dead cat.
92
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,979
I came up to bring you
some dinner
93
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,504
and to tell you I think you
should go ahead with the party.
94
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:08,117
Oh, I can't.
I've suffered a great loss.
95
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,380
I'm also still really upset
that Oscar
96
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:13,514
felt the need to point out
that animals are not people.
97
00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:15,864
I mean, obviously,
if my house was burning down,
98
00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:17,605
and I could only grab
the baby or the cat,
99
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,041
you know what I'd do.
100
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,217
-Grab the baby?
-What baby, Phil?!
101
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,524
The imaginary baby?
102
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:26,309
No, I'd grab the real cats.
All of them.
103
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,181
Okay, I know you're in mourning,
but where I come from,
104
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:33,142
even a funeral is a big party
to celebrate someone's life.
105
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,796
You know, connect with
each other
106
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,407
over memories of the one
we lost.
107
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:40,802
In my family,
we called them "fun-erals,"
108
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,847
Fun-erals?
109
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,719
Yeah, we'd all get together,
eat food,
110
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:47,852
we'd sing hymns with
the Crumpler Bluegrass Band.
111
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:51,682
Well, that's nice, Phil,
but I just--
112
00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:54,424
-I don't think I'm there yet.
-Oh.
113
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:57,993
Also, your relentless positivity
is annoying me a little bit.
114
00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,821
Well, roger that.
115
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,563
I'll check on you tomorrow.
116
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,872
-[knock on door]
-Still open, Phil.
117
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,700
MAX:
Hey.
118
00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:13,182
Hey...
119
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:20,102
Heard about Mr. Mousekers.
120
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:24,541
Remember when my dog Winston
died back in college?
121
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,065
We stayed up all night
and told Winston stories.
122
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,329
I remember we polished off
a bottle of bourbon,
123
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:32,593
and I fell asleep with my legs
sticking out of your doggy door
124
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,072
because I was so hot.
125
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,466
Well, I'm here to
return the favor.
126
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,207
-Oh.
-It's the good stuff.
127
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:41,079
Don't mention it to Carter.
I told him I dropped it.
128
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,649
And then he jumped up
on the couch
129
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,390
and dropped that little
felt mouse in my lap.
130
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,479
And I was actually having
a crappy day and I thought,
131
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:52,134
"Thanks, dude, that helps."
[chuckles]
132
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:54,005
He did that to me once
with a real mouse
133
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,920
with its head chewed off.
134
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,618
I thought, well,
it's the thought that counts.
135
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:01,839
Well, chewed mice aside,
sometimes I think animals are
136
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,493
better than people.
137
00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:06,322
Or at least easier
to get along with.
138
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,805
I wish a million times over
139
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,850
that I hadn't contacted
Brigitte.
140
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:16,027
She forwarded me
the e-mail you sent her.
141
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:18,421
It was actually very
complimentary.
142
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:21,119
Some of it was... [laughs]
143
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,513
...was in Old English.
144
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,080
You kept saying
I was "a truepenny"
145
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:26,821
and "straight-fingered."
146
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:28,823
I was so out of it.
147
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,347
I even sent an e-mail
to the government
148
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,306
asking for jury duty.
149
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,917
Luckily it didn't go through
150
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,572
'cause I had just typed in,
"To Government."
151
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,096
[both laugh]
152
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:44,752
Hey, at least now I know
where Brigitte stands.
153
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,884
And it is kind of freeing.
154
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:50,453
That's exactly how I felt
when you rejected me. Free!
155
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,803
Well, let me know if you ever
need me to reject you again.
156
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:55,371
Yeah, I don't think I'll ever
need you to do that again,
157
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,112
but thanks for the offer.
158
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,375
You know I'm kidding, right?
159
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,985
Of course I know you're kidding.
160
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,205
It's what we do.
We kid.
161
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,690
Wow, it is late.
162
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:10,952
I should-I should probably go.
163
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,127
Yeah, me, too.
164
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,302
Uh, you live here.
165
00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:14,869
Yeah, that sounds about right.
166
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,830
All right, I just need to grab
one part out of the truck
167
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:22,267
-and you will be good to go.
-Will I?
168
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,618
'Cause you've been working
on that oven for five hours.
169
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,315
I'm beginning to think
you're the one
170
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:27,925
missing a part, Ray.
171
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,797
Hey, ovens are like women.
172
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,190
You can't always get 'em to cook
when you want 'em to.
173
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,802
I bet your wife loves
crawling into bed with you
174
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:36,847
after you make comments
like that.
175
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:39,154
Joke's on you, I'm divorced.
176
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:41,983
Hey, Phil. Oh, Ray,
is the oven working?
177
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,028
No, but Ray is working
my nerves.
178
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:46,161
Don't listen to this
little doughboy.
179
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,206
Thems are fighting words, Ray!
180
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,513
No, these are fighting words.
I don't think your mama used
181
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:51,906
enough yeast when she made you,
182
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,603
'cause you never finished
rising.
183
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,910
Don't you talk about
my mama's yeast!
184
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,302
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa!
185
00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:59,174
Gentlemen, we could all be dead
186
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,132
in someone's lap tomorrow;
let's not fight.
187
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,483
Ray, can you fix the oven
by tomorrow?
188
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,441
I can fix it before that
as long as doughboy stays
189
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,095
in his can.
190
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:10,272
-Hey, leave Phil alone.
-Yeah, leave Phil alone!!
191
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,361
I have such a crush on him.
192
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:14,668
What? You were just fighting
with him.
193
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:17,192
Yeah, fighting my feelings
for him.
194
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:19,107
I don't know what is
going on, Kat,
195
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:21,022
but when he showed up
to fix that oven,
196
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:24,852
something deep inside of me said
we were meant to be together.
197
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:29,291
I'm very interested,
very invested,
198
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,598
but can we table that for now?
199
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,774
Sure.
200
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:36,646
I came in to tell you
that the party is back on.
201
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,387
But I'm changing it
to a fun-eral.
202
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,650
You were right.
Loss can connect people.
203
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,217
It got me and Max
talking again.
204
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,306
I am so happy to hear that.
205
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:47,657
Maybe if I dust my banjo off,
I can get you and Max to sing
206
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:50,399
some of my favorite hymns
at the fun-eral.
207
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,183
I would be honored.
208
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,794
All right, I'm gonna go
to the craft store
209
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,447
and get some supplies
for a memorial board.
210
00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,319
I might even pick up
a new 3-D jigsaw puzzle
211
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:59,582
'cause I've been through a lot
and I think I deserve it.
212
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:02,019
Randi, did you get
Mr. Mousekers' ashes?
213
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:04,979
Yeah, I got 'em.
I got 'em.
214
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,589
Are you sure?
'Cause you said that like
215
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:07,590
maybe you don'’t got 'em.
216
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,157
I said, yeah, I got 'em,
217
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,985
and then I repeated
"I got 'em"
218
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:14,554
upstairs in my purse, 'cause
that's where I got 'em at.
219
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:17,774
Okay, great. Uh, Phil, get her
up to speed on the fun-eral.
220
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:22,039
If it's a fun funeral,
I'm up to speed.
221
00:09:23,954 --> 00:09:26,653
Hey, I think I left my box
of cat ashes
222
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,480
at your house last night.
223
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,613
Yeah, you did, which explains
why Mr. Mousekers was
224
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,615
a fortune-teller
in my dream last night.
225
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:35,444
He told me I was good in bed.
What do you think?
226
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,359
Tell me you brought
that damn box.
227
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,839
Hang tight.
228
00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:42,016
-Uh-oh.
-What?
229
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,800
Don't be mad,
the box is in the car.
230
00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:45,280
Okay, so just go get it.
231
00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:46,847
Here's where the mad part
comes in.
232
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:49,066
When I say "the" car,
I don't mean my car.
233
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,852
See, my car's in the shop, so I
took a ride service to work,
234
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:54,768
so it's in that car.
235
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,683
Ask me if you're good
in bed again.
236
00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:58,772
I don'’t want to.
237
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,822
I am doing my best
with this tiny oven,
238
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,607
but it's like trying
to paint a barn
239
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:08,738
with a Q-tip.
240
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,177
-Hey, is, uh, Kat home?
-Hey, Oscar.
241
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,832
-No, she's still out shopping
for the fun-eral. -I came by
242
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,878
to apologize for the thing
I said earlier
243
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,314
about cats not being people.
244
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,837
The florist
was also pretty pissed
245
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,752
when I told her the story,
so apparently,
246
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,275
I've really hit a nerve here.
247
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:25,973
Well, if it makes you feel
any better,
248
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,409
she's gonna be way more pissed
249
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,106
when she finds out
I'm responsible
250
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:31,413
for Mr. Mousekers' ashes
being left in a car service
251
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,545
and the driver's
not texting me back.
252
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,678
[laughs] Oh, that is way worse
than my thing.
253
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,114
Thanks for taking the heat off.
254
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:40,552
[banjo playing]
255
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:46,428
Sounds like a 12-fingered angel
is playing my banjo.
256
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:47,821
Huh, Tucks?
257
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,698
[laughs]:
I'll be damned, Ray.
258
00:10:55,742 --> 00:11:00,137
You're like one of them idiots
who can do one amazing thing.
259
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:01,922
This your banjo?
260
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:05,839
Yeah. But run your fingers up
and down it all you want.
261
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,710
Excuse me?
262
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,494
Oh, nothing.
263
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:14,325
Aren't those flowers
Oscar brought you nice?
264
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,762
Honestly, I've never been much
of a "flowers as a gift"
265
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,285
type of person.
266
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:19,853
It's just another thing
to watch die.
267
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:22,551
Damn, you're kind of bitchy
when your cat dies.
268
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:25,423
You know what doesn't die?
That bourbon Max brought me.
269
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,904
Uh-oh. What's your point?
270
00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:30,777
I'm just saying
that it's interesting
271
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:34,345
to compare the way Oscar handled
this tragic event in my life
272
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,043
to the way Max has handled it.
273
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,566
No, no, no, no, no.
274
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,481
You cannot compare
Oscar and Max like that.
275
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,222
Max is not your boyfriend,
276
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,267
and by his own admission,
never will be.
277
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,400
I know,
but there was this moment
278
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,402
when Max and I were
talking last night
279
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:50,448
that I thought
maybe he was gonna kiss me.
280
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:53,408
You thought I was gonna kiss you
last margarita night.
281
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,975
You leaned in.
282
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:59,196
Kat, grief makes people
feel confusing things.
283
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,939
You have to calm yourself,
close your eyes
284
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,854
and focus on the guy
you're getting naked with.
285
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:07,857
[chuckles]
I can do that.
286
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,775
Uh, Wyatt, this is
a memorial board for the pets
287
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,385
who have left us too soon.
288
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,865
That's a human.
289
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:18,912
It's my grandma.
Her name was Lassie.
290
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,785
Here are the words to the hymn
in case you get choked up
291
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,221
and don't remember them.
292
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:26,223
Oh, I'm done being sad, Phil.
293
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,269
I mean,
look how well this is going.
294
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,227
Everyone loves
the memorial board.
295
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:32,752
Lot more iguanas
than I thought there would be.
296
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:35,624
-Yes. Must have been
that cold snap. -[chuckles]
297
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,452
[phone chimes]
298
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:39,280
Oh, no.
299
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:42,413
Oscar's gonna be late
'cause he has a work thing?
300
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,372
[groans] I mean,
who's gonna squeeze my hand
301
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,200
before I recite my poem?
302
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,941
You know,
I'm still annoyed at him,
303
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,812
but I'm not above using him
for physical comfort.
304
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:53,033
Well, I can do it, but it ends
with the hand squeeze.
305
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,382
[laughs softly]
306
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:57,211
-Hello, Katharine.
-Oh, Mother.
307
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,995
Geez. You scared me.
308
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,215
You look just like
Mr. Mousekers.
309
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:02,651
He was my inspiration.
310
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,131
It was easy since I can't get
311
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:06,481
his dead little face
out of my head.
312
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,918
You know,
I felt a bit traumatized,
313
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,051
since he died right in my lap.
314
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,096
I felt like maybe
he was tagging me.
315
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,316
"Hey, lady, you're next."
316
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,058
It crossed my mind as well.
317
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:21,235
Then, while I was belting out
"Memory" at my audition,
318
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:23,106
I had another thought.
319
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,675
Maybe Mr. Mousekers was
looking for a-a special place
320
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:27,850
to cross over.
321
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,722
Maybe he came to me for comfort.
322
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,855
He trusted me.
323
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,509
That's beautiful.
324
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:36,119
Yes, that's what they said
at the audition.
325
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,904
They cast me on the spot.
326
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:39,949
Not the role I auditioned for--
it was too young--
327
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,646
but I still get to crawl around
328
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,170
and interact with the audience
before the show.
329
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,693
[laughs softly]
330
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:48,436
So, you're more
of a dog person, huh?
331
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:49,959
Yeah, I guess so.
332
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:52,962
Hmm. You had a dog,
you act like a dog.
333
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,660
Are you being funny or mean?
What's happening?
334
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,445
What's happening is
you're showing up
335
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,882
at my girl Kat's place
with your booze and your hair
336
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:02,189
and your big old teeth
and confusing her,
337
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:03,886
making her think
you're gonna kiss her.
338
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:06,106
-Did she say that?
-CARTER: Randi.
339
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,890
I need to talk to you.
340
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:10,893
E-Excuse me. Carter and I
have never spoken privately,
341
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,852
so this must be important.
342
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,766
Stay, dog.
343
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:19,075
The ashes are two hours away.
344
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:21,469
Says traffic's real bad
on the highway.
345
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,036
Well, then text him back
and tell him
346
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:25,212
a real man would be
driving on the grass.
347
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:27,605
It's all good. I got us covered.
348
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,825
We'll tell Kat
the ashes are in here.
349
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,697
That looks like it was
painted by a child.
350
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,569
Well, C.J. made it for me
for Father's Day.
351
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,310
I even filled it with rice
so the weight would be right.
352
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,399
-[rice shaking]
-This sounds like rice.
353
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,967
Well, you only thinking about
rice 'cause I said it was rice.
354
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:43,534
Hey, Randi, I'm about
to start the memorial.
355
00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:45,058
I need Mr. Mousekers' ashes.
356
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,103
Makes sense.
357
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:50,063
Uh, can I have them?
358
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:52,674
Of course.
359
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:55,068
They said not to shake it,
out of respect.
360
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,548
Uh, this is not the box
that I ordered.
361
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,550
I ordered a-a pretty one
made of walnut
362
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,944
with a plaque
and little paw prints.
363
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,772
Well, they said
this was the temporary one,
364
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,426
because the nice one
takes a while.
365
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,689
Yeah, because there's
a walnut wood shortage.
366
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:11,127
Makes you think,
we really only have one Earth.
367
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,091
I'd like to thank you all
for coming here today
368
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:21,833
to celebrate the furry friends
we've loved and lost.
369
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:25,359
Oh, uh, quick announcement,
I did extend the kettle corn guy
370
00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:26,969
for another 30 minutes.
371
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,015
Thank you, sir.
No need for pushing.
372
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,191
It's just sweet popcorn.
373
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:36,544
Um, I've written a poem
to honor my cat Mr. Mousekers,
374
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:39,460
whose passing inspired
this beautiful gathering.
375
00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:46,336
"God, feed my cat
smoked salmon up there
376
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,904
"and take him on long drives,
377
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,167
"and tell him
just how great he was
378
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:52,734
"in all of his nine lives.
379
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,737
"Make the days
real bright for him
380
00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:58,044
"so he can lie out in the sun.
381
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,654
"Oh, and get a laser pointer.
382
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,351
"He thinks that's really fun.
383
00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:03,571
"If you lose him,
don't be frightened.
384
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:06,269
"He's probably in a drawer.
385
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,184
"Or sitting in a box somewhere.
386
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:10,273
"He thinks that's
what they're for.
387
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,535
Love you, Lassie.
388
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:16,845
"I know you're awfully busy
and have many pets to love,
389
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,760
"but tell mine that I miss him
390
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:21,328
-and give him an extra hug."
-[applause]
391
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,507
All right, now I'd like
to invite some friends
392
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,770
to join me up here
and liven things up
393
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,076
-a little bit.
-[banjo playing]
394
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,078
♪ Some glad morning♪
395
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,558
♪ When this life is over♪
396
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:38,867
♪ I'll fly away♪
397
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:43,219
♪ To the home
on God's celestial shore♪
398
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:47,267
♪ I'll fly away♪
399
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:51,619
♪ I'll fly away, oh, Glory♪
400
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:55,057
♪ I'll fly away♪
401
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,799
-♪ In the morning♪
-♪ When I die♪
402
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,541
♪ Hallelujah, by and by♪
403
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:04,414
♪ I'll fly away♪
404
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:07,330
♪ When the shadows...♪
405
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:08,897
Can you believe
she owns this place
406
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,551
andhas a cute young boyfriend?
407
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,292
I didn't think those two things
could coexist,
408
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,076
but I'm happy
to be proven wrong.
409
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,340
Put a cork in it, cat lady.
I'm trying to listen.
410
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,690
♪ I'll fly away♪
411
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:24,478
♪ Oh, Glory, I'll fly away♪
412
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,219
♪ In the morning♪
413
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:30,484
♪ When I die,
Hallelujah, by and by♪
414
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:33,008
♪ I'll fly away.♪
415
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,883
Kat, guess what?
416
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:42,365
I asked Ray to form a bluegrass
band with me and he said yes.
417
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:45,542
Oh, so your feeling was right.
You were meant to be together.
418
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,023
Just, in a band,
not in holy matrimony.
419
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,939
Yeah, but I can still live
with hope in my heart.
420
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:53,507
[chuckles]
421
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:55,509
Hey. I loved your poem.
422
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,206
I bet Mr. Mousekers and Winston
423
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,730
are probably smiling
down on us right now.
424
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,689
Mr. Mousekers was never
really one for smiling.
425
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,430
When he was happy,
he'd-he'd look past you
426
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:05,649
and rub his butt
up against your arm.
427
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,782
-I had an ex who did that.
-Julia.
428
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:11,002
-Sophomore year.
-[both laugh]
429
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:14,702
Kat, I-I, uh, feel like
I need to tell you something.
430
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,226
Um, come here.
431
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,751
-Are you mad at me again?
-No.
432
00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,144
Is it 'cause I was pitchy
during the singing?
433
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:23,885
-Mm, no.
-Sometimes I get pitchy
434
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,191
-'cause I'm caught up
in my spoons. -No. No.
435
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,410
No, I just, I want to...
436
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:28,890
I just want
to clear up something
437
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:29,934
about the other night
when I came over.
438
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:33,242
The reason Brigitte broke up
with me in the first place
439
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:36,593
is because she never felt like
I was all in.
440
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:39,161
And she was right. I always felt
like something was missing.
441
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:43,687
And what was missing was
a-a real friendship with her.
442
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,428
Like the one we have.
443
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:48,649
So...
444
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,346
if you felt like I wanted
to kiss you the other night,
445
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,348
it's because I did.
446
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:59,573
Did you know this
and you never said anything?
447
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:02,924
I like to keep things
mysterious and suspenseful.
448
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:07,755
Look, I know this is bad timing,
'cause you're dating somebody,
449
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:10,018
but if there's one thing
I learned from you,
450
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:12,194
is that it's better
to make a bold move.
451
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:17,547
So, this is my bold move.
452
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,333
Wow.
[laughs]
453
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,423
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
454
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:25,033
Well, you were right.
455
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:28,341
-Your timing is, like, ugh.
-Way off, I know.
456
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,777
Um, yeah.
457
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,213
Okay, well, I'm gonna go, uh,
458
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,606
splash some cold water
on my face.
459
00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:34,347
And I'm gonna go
reapply my deodorant,
460
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:37,001
like, uh, like, a lot of it.
461
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,004
Oh.
462
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:42,050
Mr. Mousekers!
463
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,095
Is this-- Is this rice?
464
00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:46,489
I can explain.
465
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:50,624
Y-You know how in the Bible,
things turn into other things?
466
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,322
I believe we have a miracle
on our hands.
467
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,455
Randi, what is going on?
468
00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:59,459
Okay, see, after I picked up
Mr. Mousekers' ashes,
469
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:02,331
I accidentally left them
in a car service.
470
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:05,160
And by the time I contacted
the driver, he was in Chicago,
471
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,988
ironically,
to comfort his mother,
472
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:09,208
who had just lost her cat.
473
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,122
You can't make this stuff up.
474
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:12,907
RANDI:
And I didn't have time
475
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,865
to drop everything
and go to Chicago.
476
00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:16,824
So where is Mr. Mousekers now?
477
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,391
OSCAR:
He's right here.
478
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:23,352
You didn't have to work late?
479
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:26,877
You went all the way to Chicago
for Mr. Mousekers?
480
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:30,359
If something is important
to you, it's important to me.
481
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,322
Do I smell kettle corn?
482
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,671
I haven't eaten in, like,
ten hours.
483
00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:39,847
[laughs]:
Yeah. Go get some.
484
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:43,198
Katharine, this cat and I
both dipped our paws
485
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,375
into the shrimp cocktail
at the same time.
486
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,247
I think I've found my soul mate.
487
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:51,554
[laughs]:
Oh. Good for you, Mother.
488
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:01,521
That makes one of us.
489
00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:04,567
♪
490
00:21:04,617 --> 00:21:09,167
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