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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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- Okay, who's on the call?
4
00:00:10,006 --> 00:00:11,160
- This is Chuck from messaging.
5
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,693
- Barry from AD.
6
00:00:12,693 --> 00:00:14,433
- This is
Johnson from networking.
7
00:00:14,433 --> 00:00:16,083
- Enough with the introductions.
8
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:17,566
What's the status?
9
00:00:17,566 --> 00:00:19,001
- I don't think it's networks.
10
00:00:19,001 --> 00:00:20,192
- It's not the firewall.
11
00:00:20,192 --> 00:00:22,483
- It's not the application.
12
00:00:22,483 --> 00:00:25,059
- You guys done throwing
each other under the bus?
13
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:27,518
- I'm not
throwing anyone anywhere.
14
00:00:27,518 --> 00:00:29,006
It's not the application.
15
00:00:29,006 --> 00:00:32,190
- Chuck, do you know who I am?
16
00:00:32,190 --> 00:00:33,872
- Ah.
17
00:00:33,872 --> 00:00:35,073
- I'm Jordan Mackenzie,
18
00:00:35,073 --> 00:00:36,362
fucking department head.
19
00:00:36,362 --> 00:00:38,096
You're a contractor, right?
20
00:00:38,096 --> 00:00:39,464
- Ah, yes.
21
00:00:39,464 --> 00:00:41,924
- You know I can have your ass
escorted out of this building
22
00:00:41,924 --> 00:00:42,924
in a minute.
23
00:00:45,138 --> 00:00:46,638
Who the fuck was that?
24
00:00:46,638 --> 00:00:48,341
- Jordan.
25
00:00:48,341 --> 00:00:49,809
Do you know who this is?
26
00:00:49,809 --> 00:00:50,717
- No.
27
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,717
- Then fuck you.
28
00:00:53,986 --> 00:00:54,819
- Randy Wolf
29
00:00:54,819 --> 00:00:56,032
has left the call.
30
00:00:56,032 --> 00:00:59,065
- Who the fuck is Randy Wolf?
31
00:01:18,684 --> 00:01:20,536
♫ On the sides
32
00:01:20,536 --> 00:01:23,669
♫ Of the deepest pockets
33
00:01:23,669 --> 00:01:25,926
♫ Well for a while
34
00:01:25,926 --> 00:01:29,041
♫ Until you get what you wanted
35
00:01:29,041 --> 00:01:32,623
♫ And there's nobody quite like you
36
00:01:32,623 --> 00:01:35,377
♫ To run the old machines and
37
00:01:35,377 --> 00:01:38,215
♫ Prey on weaker types to make
38
00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:41,550
♫ All of what you've imagined
39
00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:44,007
♫ All the way
40
00:01:44,007 --> 00:01:47,323
♫ You would have to go
41
00:01:47,323 --> 00:01:49,884
♫ All the way
42
00:01:49,884 --> 00:01:53,051
♫ To create your show
43
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:32,859
- Ah, no, no,
44
00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:36,436
no.
45
00:02:37,831 --> 00:02:38,664
Nope.
46
00:02:47,929 --> 00:02:48,762
You delf.
47
00:02:55,832 --> 00:02:57,222
Hi Kevin,
48
00:02:57,222 --> 00:02:58,472
how's it going?
49
00:03:02,477 --> 00:03:05,394
No, sir, I actually have today off.
50
00:03:13,372 --> 00:03:14,547
No sir, I don't,
51
00:03:14,547 --> 00:03:15,380
no, I don't
52
00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:17,880
know who would have done that.
53
00:03:19,431 --> 00:03:20,751
No, I'm sorry sir,
54
00:03:20,751 --> 00:03:21,788
isn't,
55
00:03:21,788 --> 00:03:23,571
isn't Richard there right now?
56
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:24,404
Can't?
57
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:26,138
He's not.
58
00:03:27,435 --> 00:03:28,268
Okay.
59
00:03:32,309 --> 00:03:33,309
Yeah.
60
00:03:33,309 --> 00:03:34,612
Yes sir.
61
00:03:34,612 --> 00:03:37,270
Okay, sir, yes I understand.
62
00:03:37,270 --> 00:03:38,425
Yeah, well just til noon,
63
00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:42,047
and then Richard's going to be there.
64
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,448
Okay, just til noon.
65
00:03:43,448 --> 00:03:44,505
Alright.
66
00:03:44,505 --> 00:03:46,033
Well,
67
00:03:46,033 --> 00:03:47,039
yes sir,
68
00:03:47,039 --> 00:03:51,132
it's gonna take me a
second to get ready, but.
69
00:03:51,132 --> 00:03:52,571
Hello?
70
00:04:12,137 --> 00:04:17,039
♫ So big bright and full of light a
71
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:21,465
♫ Dream that I had punctured night and
72
00:04:21,465 --> 00:04:25,632
♫ Peeled back black so I could see
73
00:04:34,554 --> 00:04:35,561
- Dan.
74
00:04:35,561 --> 00:04:36,394
Dan.
75
00:04:42,585 --> 00:04:45,168
♫ Just to live
76
00:04:51,056 --> 00:04:53,639
♫ Just to live
77
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,051
♫ Just to
78
00:05:12,671 --> 00:05:14,489
- You know you're gonna
get slammed, right?
79
00:05:14,489 --> 00:05:16,031
- Yep.
80
00:05:16,031 --> 00:05:17,205
- Stam, D M, right.
81
00:05:17,205 --> 00:05:18,485
- Yeah.
82
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,972
- People are gonna freak.
83
00:05:19,972 --> 00:05:21,391
- Thanks Jackie,
84
00:05:21,391 --> 00:05:22,473
I got it.
85
00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:23,615
- You're the techie, right?
86
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,895
Dude.
87
00:05:24,895 --> 00:05:26,351
My shit's gone.
88
00:05:26,351 --> 00:05:27,940
- And what shit would that be?
89
00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:29,099
- Everything.
90
00:05:29,099 --> 00:05:30,703
- Yeah, okay.
91
00:05:30,703 --> 00:05:31,903
We're working on it.
92
00:05:31,903 --> 00:05:33,201
- You're working on it?
93
00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:34,585
I have some important pics on here.
94
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,079
- How important can a picture be?
95
00:05:37,079 --> 00:05:38,579
Don't answer that.
96
00:05:39,481 --> 00:05:40,484
- What's going on?
97
00:05:40,484 --> 00:05:42,345
- Someone jacked up MDM last night?
98
00:05:42,345 --> 00:05:43,785
- What's MDM?
99
00:05:43,785 --> 00:05:45,559
- Mobile device management.
100
00:05:45,559 --> 00:05:46,884
- Alright, look.
101
00:05:46,884 --> 00:05:49,124
- Are you the one who manages the phones?
102
00:05:49,124 --> 00:05:50,121
- No.
103
00:05:50,121 --> 00:05:51,124
Not really.
104
00:05:51,124 --> 00:05:52,121
Not even supposed to be here today.
105
00:05:52,121 --> 00:05:53,444
- Well all my shit is gone.
106
00:05:54,927 --> 00:05:56,279
- Laugh it up fuzzball.
107
00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:57,112
- Hey Dan?
108
00:05:58,482 --> 00:05:59,481
- What?
109
00:05:59,481 --> 00:06:00,463
- My phone.
110
00:06:00,463 --> 00:06:01,785
- Yes.
111
00:06:01,785 --> 00:06:02,820
- It's acting weird.
112
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:03,823
- Yeah.
113
00:06:03,823 --> 00:06:05,323
Ow, what the fuck?
114
00:06:06,281 --> 00:06:07,423
- Out.
115
00:06:07,423 --> 00:06:08,425
Out.
116
00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:09,258
Out.
117
00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:13,225
Now, unlike the rest of you leaches,
118
00:06:13,225 --> 00:06:15,801
I actually have an appointment
119
00:06:15,801 --> 00:06:17,865
scheduled with my resource, Dan.
120
00:06:17,865 --> 00:06:19,818
Do any of you have a
121
00:06:19,818 --> 00:06:20,981
open ticket?
122
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:21,814
- No.
123
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,280
- Have any of you contacted the help desk
124
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,463
to obtain said ticket?
125
00:06:26,463 --> 00:06:27,296
- No.
126
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,222
- The please excuse us.
127
00:06:38,927 --> 00:06:39,844
You owe me.
128
00:06:40,927 --> 00:06:41,760
- Yeah.
129
00:06:44,649 --> 00:06:47,482
Why do I think it came at a price?
130
00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:49,871
- Will you fix my phone?
131
00:06:49,871 --> 00:06:51,288
- See, I knew it.
132
00:06:54,421 --> 00:06:55,428
This is huge.
133
00:06:55,428 --> 00:06:56,261
- So what?
134
00:06:57,468 --> 00:06:58,729
Why were late today?
135
00:06:58,729 --> 00:06:59,929
- I wasn't late.
136
00:06:59,929 --> 00:07:01,188
I had the day off
137
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,929
and they called me back in.
138
00:07:03,929 --> 00:07:05,846
- The day off for what?
139
00:07:07,444 --> 00:07:08,277
- Just,
140
00:07:09,631 --> 00:07:10,714
I don't know,
141
00:07:11,668 --> 00:07:13,247
it's really none of your business.
142
00:07:13,247 --> 00:07:14,831
- I'm not an idiot.
143
00:07:14,831 --> 00:07:16,751
I know Madden was midnight
pickup last night.
144
00:07:16,751 --> 00:07:19,929
There's more to life than video games Dan.
145
00:07:19,929 --> 00:07:21,156
- Okay, is there?
146
00:07:21,156 --> 00:07:22,756
Is there really?
147
00:07:22,756 --> 00:07:23,753
- Okay.
148
00:07:23,753 --> 00:07:25,673
So I was going through the
project appointment plan.
149
00:07:25,673 --> 00:07:26,863
- Okay, you know, here we go,
150
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:27,924
I told you.
151
00:07:27,924 --> 00:07:28,939
- I know.
152
00:07:28,939 --> 00:07:29,944
I know.
153
00:07:29,944 --> 00:07:30,943
I know you said no weeknights, okay.
154
00:07:30,943 --> 00:07:31,945
- I'd rather do weeknights than weekends.
155
00:07:31,945 --> 00:07:32,943
- I know but I have you for weeknights
156
00:07:32,943 --> 00:07:34,337
and weekends.
157
00:07:34,337 --> 00:07:35,537
It's an aggressive deployment.
158
00:07:35,537 --> 00:07:36,541
You can sleep when it's over.
159
00:07:36,541 --> 00:07:37,778
Take all the comp time you want.
160
00:07:37,778 --> 00:07:40,120
Just like last time.
161
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,524
- Yeah, because last time,
162
00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:42,905
let's see,
163
00:07:42,905 --> 00:07:44,765
I had a whole Monday
164
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:47,103
after two 60 hour weeks
165
00:07:47,103 --> 00:07:48,264
that you scheduled.
166
00:07:48,264 --> 00:07:49,847
- Hadn't you heard?
167
00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:53,668
- No, heard what?
168
00:07:53,668 --> 00:07:55,148
- Well after we're done,
169
00:07:55,148 --> 00:07:56,233
they're going to evaluate us
170
00:07:56,233 --> 00:07:57,273
and you know, if,
171
00:07:57,273 --> 00:07:59,273
- What, if what already.
172
00:08:00,553 --> 00:08:01,876
- They might not renew our option here.
173
00:08:01,876 --> 00:08:04,209
We all might be out of jobs.
174
00:08:10,715 --> 00:08:11,548
- Fuck.
175
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:15,540
God, fuck.
176
00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:17,097
I just customized a new car.
177
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,660
- Yeah, well we all
have the same contract.
178
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,020
How do you think I feel with a new condo?
179
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:23,817
So, I just need you to work one weekend.
180
00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:26,359
I'll make it worth your while.
181
00:08:26,359 --> 00:08:27,609
- No, hey, hey,
182
00:08:29,456 --> 00:08:30,959
we said we'd keep it professional here.
183
00:08:30,959 --> 00:08:32,079
- Great.
184
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,081
- Please.
185
00:08:33,081 --> 00:08:34,180
- Sorry.
186
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,177
Okay.
187
00:08:35,177 --> 00:08:36,521
So, just fix this thing.
188
00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:37,538
- Yeah, I fixed it.
189
00:08:37,538 --> 00:08:38,533
- And we can both be
on our merry way, okay.
190
00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:39,540
- Let me just get this back in.
191
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,900
- Do you clean this?
192
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,020
- Yes, I clean it.
193
00:09:00,020 --> 00:09:01,907
Would you hurry up please?
194
00:09:01,907 --> 00:09:04,829
I'm very sorry you feel that way.
195
00:09:04,829 --> 00:09:06,717
I just need you to fix this
196
00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:07,550
so I can go do my work, okay.
197
00:09:07,550 --> 00:09:08,383
- I'm done, I'm done.
198
00:09:08,383 --> 00:09:09,216
- It's not that big either.
199
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,657
My little brother didn't
have a problem with it.
200
00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:13,324
He's played with it all weekend.
201
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,975
- Hey Danny boy,
202
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,995
is that the new Nokia model?
203
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:22,238
- Nope.
204
00:09:22,238 --> 00:09:23,240
- Cause you know
205
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,678
Rob and I, we get dibs
on all new equipment.
206
00:09:25,678 --> 00:09:26,873
- Why?
207
00:09:26,873 --> 00:09:28,956
- Because we're FTE baby.
208
00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:36,591
So Dan,
209
00:09:39,576 --> 00:09:41,678
where are the new tablets?
210
00:09:41,678 --> 00:09:44,520
- I don't provision devices.
211
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,019
Randy does.
212
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,920
- Well Randy's not fucking
here right now, is he?
213
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,659
You didn't see Randy did you?
214
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:52,899
- The bastard's always late.
215
00:09:52,899 --> 00:09:54,066
He'll be here.
216
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,016
- He comes in at lunch,
217
00:09:57,016 --> 00:09:58,840
then he takes his lunch.
218
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,323
- Fucker.
219
00:10:00,323 --> 00:10:01,331
Like you said,
220
00:10:01,331 --> 00:10:03,102
F-T-E.
221
00:10:11,603 --> 00:10:12,600
- Hey.
222
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,110
- Hey.
223
00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:15,120
- This guy here yet?
224
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,117
- No.
225
00:10:16,117 --> 00:10:17,240
I've checked a couple
of times this morning.
226
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,073
- Slacker.
227
00:10:19,478 --> 00:10:20,728
- I know right.
228
00:10:21,681 --> 00:10:23,200
- What's your name?
229
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,222
- Alana.
230
00:10:24,222 --> 00:10:25,224
- Yeah.
231
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:26,721
I can read.
232
00:10:26,721 --> 00:10:27,806
Are you new here?
233
00:10:27,806 --> 00:10:29,123
- Yeah, I'm here to pick up my laptop.
234
00:10:29,123 --> 00:10:32,483
- I bet your laptop's not ready yet.
235
00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:33,726
- It better be.
236
00:10:33,726 --> 00:10:36,216
I want to get to work right away.
237
00:10:36,216 --> 00:10:38,049
- Definitely new here.
238
00:10:45,218 --> 00:10:46,757
- Yeah, well it looks like I'm gonna have
239
00:10:46,757 --> 00:10:49,336
a longer than lunch to slack off, right.
240
00:10:49,336 --> 00:10:51,102
- What the fuck are you talking about?
241
00:10:51,102 --> 00:10:52,798
- A contract.
242
00:10:52,798 --> 00:10:54,881
- They'll renew you guys.
243
00:10:56,702 --> 00:10:58,474
It'll be too disruptive.
244
00:10:58,474 --> 00:11:00,242
You're essential.
245
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,283
- Yeah.
246
00:11:01,283 --> 00:11:03,448
Don't know about that.
247
00:11:03,448 --> 00:11:04,522
- What are people gonna do
248
00:11:04,522 --> 00:11:06,168
when they can't log in and get to
249
00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:07,805
facial book?
250
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:09,833
- Yeah.
251
00:11:12,379 --> 00:11:14,712
Yeah, speaking of essential.
252
00:11:18,398 --> 00:11:19,560
I got to listen to that guy
253
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,139
spoil Game of Thrones three times a day
254
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,722
every freaking day.
255
00:11:23,779 --> 00:11:24,782
- You really got to see this series.
256
00:11:24,782 --> 00:11:25,779
It's on HBO.
257
00:11:25,779 --> 00:11:26,836
It's called Game of Thrones.
258
00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:27,838
Awesome.
259
00:11:27,838 --> 00:11:28,830
There's this little dwarf character.
260
00:11:28,830 --> 00:11:29,832
He's like the hero of the show.
261
00:11:29,832 --> 00:11:31,310
But there's a really great character.
262
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,936
And she's like this white hair.
263
00:11:32,936 --> 00:11:34,603
- Victim number two.
264
00:11:37,672 --> 00:11:39,324
- Gabe.
265
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,157
- What?
266
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:40,990
Oh.
267
00:11:40,990 --> 00:11:43,823
- Where are my TPS reports?
268
00:11:48,347 --> 00:11:49,264
- Hey Jake.
269
00:11:50,328 --> 00:11:51,328
Jake, he's--
270
00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:54,763
Guess what, Jake is looking for you.
271
00:11:54,763 --> 00:11:56,096
- Who isn't man.
272
00:11:58,736 --> 00:12:00,835
- Okay, well just go ahead
and make yourself comfortable.
273
00:12:00,835 --> 00:12:03,099
It's not like you're late
for work or anything.
274
00:12:03,099 --> 00:12:04,101
- What are you talking about?
275
00:12:04,101 --> 00:12:05,099
I've been working.
276
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,101
I have all my calls forwarded
277
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,099
over to my cell.
278
00:12:07,099 --> 00:12:08,096
- Yeah, I called your cell this morning.
279
00:12:08,096 --> 00:12:09,061
You didn't pick up.
280
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,083
- Yeah, I said I had them forwarded.
281
00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:11,099
I didn't say I actually answered them.
282
00:12:11,099 --> 00:12:13,456
- What's with the shirt?
283
00:12:13,456 --> 00:12:15,696
- What are you talking about?
284
00:12:15,696 --> 00:12:16,699
It's fuchsia.
285
00:12:16,699 --> 00:12:17,819
It's like a fashion,
286
00:12:17,819 --> 00:12:19,019
it's a fashion statement.
287
00:12:19,019 --> 00:12:21,355
- Did it come with a purse?
288
00:12:21,355 --> 00:12:24,716
- What are you so attitude about?
289
00:12:24,716 --> 00:12:26,096
Oh shit, that's right.
290
00:12:26,096 --> 00:12:28,036
It's your day off.
291
00:12:28,036 --> 00:12:28,869
I forgot.
292
00:12:29,856 --> 00:12:30,859
You got dicked man,
293
00:12:30,859 --> 00:12:32,219
what's Richard's excuse this time?
294
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,905
- Want to know what he said to me?
295
00:12:35,947 --> 00:12:36,953
- Actually no.
296
00:12:36,953 --> 00:12:37,963
Hold that thought.
297
00:12:37,963 --> 00:12:38,965
I got to take this call.
298
00:12:38,965 --> 00:12:39,963
I'm sure it's very important.
299
00:12:39,963 --> 00:12:40,796
How.
300
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:43,054
How.
301
00:12:43,959 --> 00:12:45,982
Yes, it's a traditional
native American greeting.
302
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,503
Yes, I'm in America.
303
00:12:47,503 --> 00:12:51,336
Yes, but they outsource
the IT to the Indians.
304
00:12:56,325 --> 00:12:57,627
Okay.
305
00:12:57,627 --> 00:12:58,848
You say email not working.
306
00:12:58,848 --> 00:13:02,098
You send message via US Postal Service.
307
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:04,700
Namaste.
308
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,909
- God, it's amazing the
shit you FTEs get away with.
309
00:13:17,648 --> 00:13:18,742
Can you please leave me alone.
310
00:13:18,742 --> 00:13:20,641
I'm trying to figure out
what the heck happened here.
311
00:13:20,641 --> 00:13:21,623
- What's going on buddy?
312
00:13:21,623 --> 00:13:23,387
- Well I'm trying to figure out
313
00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:24,507
what the fuck happened to MDM.
314
00:13:24,507 --> 00:13:26,706
Someone jacked it up last night.
315
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:27,539
- Uh oh.
316
00:13:29,269 --> 00:13:30,436
- Uh oh, what?
317
00:13:31,467 --> 00:13:33,050
- No, it's nothing.
318
00:13:36,363 --> 00:13:38,448
Okay, first you tell me what's going on.
319
00:13:38,448 --> 00:13:40,411
And then I'll tell you what I did.
320
00:13:40,411 --> 00:13:41,426
- Okay, well I'll tell you
321
00:13:41,426 --> 00:13:42,425
that they were lined up outside the door
322
00:13:42,425 --> 00:13:43,408
like an Apple Store,
323
00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:44,555
trying to figure out what
was wrong with their phones.
324
00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:46,795
- Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
325
00:13:46,795 --> 00:13:48,545
So what happened was,
326
00:13:49,381 --> 00:13:50,714
I was wiping it.
327
00:13:51,819 --> 00:13:52,800
- Oh, my--
328
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:53,941
- No, no, no, it was just one phone.
329
00:13:53,941 --> 00:13:55,195
- Randy.
330
00:13:55,195 --> 00:13:56,555
- It was supposed to be one phone.
331
00:13:56,555 --> 00:13:57,792
I think I might of accidentally
332
00:13:57,792 --> 00:13:59,195
selected and entire container.
333
00:13:59,195 --> 00:14:00,209
- Oh, you think?
334
00:14:00,209 --> 00:14:01,209
Maybe it was an entire container
335
00:14:01,209 --> 00:14:02,208
that we're looking at right now.
336
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,211
- Come on man, you know,
337
00:14:03,211 --> 00:14:04,867
like the database thing confuses me.
338
00:14:04,867 --> 00:14:06,339
We need a good database administrator.
339
00:14:06,339 --> 00:14:07,323
- Okay.
340
00:14:07,323 --> 00:14:08,784
Can you quit deflecting.
341
00:14:08,784 --> 00:14:09,800
- I'm not deflecting.
342
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,023
It was the fucking database.
343
00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:12,325
- You know, I am so sick and tired
344
00:14:12,325 --> 00:14:13,644
of cleaning up after your shit.
345
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,768
- Yeah, but you're so good at it.
346
00:14:14,768 --> 00:14:16,344
- This is your--
347
00:14:16,344 --> 00:14:18,106
God damn it Randy.
348
00:14:18,106 --> 00:14:19,109
- Shalom.
349
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,091
- Nice blouse.
350
00:14:20,091 --> 00:14:21,093
I have one just like it.
351
00:14:21,093 --> 00:14:22,395
- This is not a blouse.
352
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,061
This is a man's shirt.
353
00:14:25,061 --> 00:14:27,604
- I hear you can read
other people's email.
354
00:14:27,604 --> 00:14:28,937
- Kind of, yeah.
355
00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:31,041
Yeah.
356
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,021
- Excuse me.
357
00:14:37,021 --> 00:14:37,854
- You.
358
00:14:39,543 --> 00:14:40,587
- Oh yeah.
359
00:14:40,587 --> 00:14:42,267
I told you your laptop's not ready yet.
360
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:43,488
- Well I can't do anything without it.
361
00:14:43,488 --> 00:14:45,144
- You can hang out with me
362
00:14:45,144 --> 00:14:46,144
while I work on it.
363
00:14:46,144 --> 00:14:47,845
- I got things to do.
364
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,727
- Yeah, but you just said
you can't do any of them
365
00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:51,394
without your laptop.
366
00:14:55,943 --> 00:14:56,944
Pop a squat.
367
00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:59,605
That chair's got your name on it.
368
00:14:59,605 --> 00:15:00,965
- Okay, so,
369
00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:03,371
so he's influencing
everyone to pick his friend,
370
00:15:03,371 --> 00:15:04,525
as you say,
371
00:15:04,525 --> 00:15:06,032
and then he gives,
372
00:15:06,032 --> 00:15:07,021
he gives
373
00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,193
front of the contract,
374
00:15:08,193 --> 00:15:09,110
which is a,
375
00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:11,813
conflict of interest.
- Conflict of interest.
376
00:15:11,813 --> 00:15:13,035
- Okay, okay.
377
00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:14,053
Alright, yeah.
378
00:15:14,053 --> 00:15:14,886
Got it.
379
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:21,333
- Can you check real quick?
380
00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:22,336
- Yeah, yeah.
381
00:15:22,336 --> 00:15:23,696
Okay.
382
00:15:23,696 --> 00:15:27,874
Well, we have some things
that we need to fill out.
383
00:15:27,874 --> 00:15:28,875
Appropriate security,
384
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:29,877
they need to involve--
385
00:15:29,877 --> 00:15:30,952
- All of the forms that you need,
386
00:15:30,952 --> 00:15:33,296
I just need to confirm it first.
387
00:15:33,296 --> 00:15:34,533
- Okay.
388
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,267
Right, but,
389
00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:38,283
if it's not confirmed then,
390
00:15:38,283 --> 00:15:39,627
we just violated
391
00:15:39,627 --> 00:15:42,885
several policies that corporate
security has in place.
392
00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:44,405
Actually, they require me--
393
00:15:44,405 --> 00:15:45,488
- Dan, right?
394
00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:49,158
- Yeah.
395
00:15:52,205 --> 00:15:53,538
- Dan, Dan, Dan.
396
00:15:55,365 --> 00:15:57,523
You're on the Delta contract, right?
397
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:58,356
- Yeah.
398
00:16:02,392 --> 00:16:03,592
I'm sorry, what's that,
399
00:16:03,592 --> 00:16:05,899
I don't know what that look is for.
400
00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:08,235
- How they treat your team.
401
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:11,035
You guys don't even have medical.
402
00:16:11,035 --> 00:16:12,517
Your BFF Randy
403
00:16:12,517 --> 00:16:14,622
used to be a contractor.
404
00:16:14,622 --> 00:16:17,163
I made his position FTE.
405
00:16:17,163 --> 00:16:18,171
- I'm sorry, are you suggesting?
406
00:16:18,171 --> 00:16:21,754
- Yes, I'm suggesting
you being a made man.
407
00:16:24,869 --> 00:16:26,892
- Well do you guys have an opening?
408
00:16:26,892 --> 00:16:28,572
- Well, if my boss is in the wrong,
409
00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:29,739
then we might.
410
00:16:32,268 --> 00:16:33,101
Look,
411
00:16:34,588 --> 00:16:35,588
no more ops,
412
00:16:36,652 --> 00:16:38,546
no more long hours,
413
00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:39,879
no more on call.
414
00:16:41,831 --> 00:16:44,164
And, you would be long term.
415
00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:50,626
Are you familiar with the expression
416
00:16:50,626 --> 00:16:51,626
tit for tat?
417
00:17:02,215 --> 00:17:03,218
- Can you believe that
418
00:17:03,218 --> 00:17:07,385
some dudes still don't know
about private browsing?
419
00:17:08,938 --> 00:17:12,551
Believe it or not, this is
like the best part of my day.
420
00:17:12,551 --> 00:17:14,116
People surfing and downloading habits
421
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,674
really say a lot about who
they are as people, you know.
422
00:17:16,674 --> 00:17:19,338
Like you say Asian fetish,
423
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:20,666
nobody's gonna accuse this guy
424
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,628
of being anti- slant eye.
425
00:17:22,628 --> 00:17:25,226
- Isn't that a little inappropriate?
426
00:17:25,226 --> 00:17:26,506
- Yeah, it's totally inappropriate.
427
00:17:26,506 --> 00:17:28,426
Inspiration for masturbation
428
00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:31,086
should never come from the
color of someone's skin.
429
00:17:31,086 --> 00:17:33,087
- No, I don't think you understand.
430
00:17:33,087 --> 00:17:34,420
- Whoa, jackpot.
431
00:17:35,476 --> 00:17:36,494
God.
432
00:17:36,494 --> 00:17:38,698
This guy's such a fucking perv.
433
00:17:38,698 --> 00:17:40,712
Hold on, hold on.
434
00:17:40,712 --> 00:17:41,716
Check it out.
435
00:17:41,716 --> 00:17:43,674
Saigon sphincters dot com
436
00:17:43,674 --> 00:17:44,756
tasty taints,
437
00:17:44,756 --> 00:17:46,231
crouching tiger hidden t-bag.
438
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,814
I spot a brown eye,
439
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,063
stinky rice dot TV.
440
00:17:50,063 --> 00:17:52,539
Chinese fingering trap dot com.
441
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:53,786
Genghis Cock,
442
00:17:53,786 --> 00:17:55,179
come plow chicken,
443
00:17:55,179 --> 00:17:57,258
bang cock banging cocks,
444
00:17:57,258 --> 00:17:58,536
Tokyo drip dot com,
445
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,115
cockzilla.
446
00:18:00,115 --> 00:18:02,180
Majestic sluts dot net
447
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:03,877
exclusive camel toes
448
00:18:03,877 --> 00:18:05,238
jizz guzzler.
449
00:18:05,238 --> 00:18:07,076
This guy searched craigslist
450
00:18:07,076 --> 00:18:09,242
for meat curtains in the for sale section.
451
00:18:09,242 --> 00:18:12,374
You should probably wash this laptop,
452
00:18:12,374 --> 00:18:13,642
like wipe it down.
453
00:18:13,642 --> 00:18:14,892
I touched this.
454
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,799
- Yo, Jack Ryan.
455
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:22,863
Kathy did some paperwork for you.
456
00:18:22,863 --> 00:18:24,420
- Hmm.
457
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,253
No shit.
458
00:18:26,122 --> 00:18:27,114
- You know you have to take a poly
459
00:18:27,114 --> 00:18:28,553
for the security clearance.
460
00:18:28,553 --> 00:18:29,386
- A poly?
461
00:18:30,618 --> 00:18:31,615
- So anyways,
462
00:18:31,615 --> 00:18:35,722
and investigator will be in
contact with you shortly.
463
00:18:35,722 --> 00:18:36,724
- Okay, hey,
464
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:37,724
thanks guys.
465
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:05,817
- What the?
466
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:16,860
Hey man,
467
00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:17,693
did you,
468
00:19:20,204 --> 00:19:22,059
did you take your drug test?
469
00:19:22,059 --> 00:19:23,062
- Yeah.
470
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:26,210
Already took care of it, why?
471
00:19:26,210 --> 00:19:27,710
- I mean like why?
472
00:19:28,711 --> 00:19:29,544
Why, like,
473
00:19:30,788 --> 00:19:31,789
what happened?
474
00:19:31,789 --> 00:19:33,206
Like how'd it go?
475
00:19:34,829 --> 00:19:35,911
- Honestly,
476
00:19:35,911 --> 00:19:39,250
it's kind of a pain in the ass.
477
00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:41,750
But it's only once a year, so,
478
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:46,212
you got something to worry about?
479
00:19:46,212 --> 00:19:47,730
- No man.
480
00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:49,897
- Then suck it up big man.
481
00:19:51,493 --> 00:19:54,576
- I like it when you call me big man.
482
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:57,947
- You're welcome.
483
00:19:58,969 --> 00:20:00,469
- Oh, yeast chips.
484
00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:04,283
Oh.
485
00:20:08,984 --> 00:20:11,234
- Look at this fucking guy.
486
00:20:12,784 --> 00:20:15,980
Who reads the newspaper at work?
487
00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:17,381
I mean who reads the
newspaper at all actually?
488
00:20:17,381 --> 00:20:18,214
Hey.
489
00:20:19,482 --> 00:20:21,402
Why don't you go back to your fucking desk
490
00:20:21,402 --> 00:20:22,598
and look at CNN.com?
491
00:20:22,598 --> 00:20:24,341
It's less blatant asshole.
492
00:20:24,341 --> 00:20:25,497
- I'm no my break.
493
00:20:25,497 --> 00:20:26,796
- What's your rate?
494
00:20:26,796 --> 00:20:28,640
Five dollars a minute?
495
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,498
So the tax payers of this great nation
496
00:20:30,498 --> 00:20:33,125
have just spent $50 for you to
497
00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:36,875
sit here and read the
fucking sports section?
498
00:20:38,224 --> 00:20:39,724
Ah, fuck that guy.
499
00:20:41,285 --> 00:20:43,501
Hey, I heard you might
be moving on up buddy.
500
00:20:43,501 --> 00:20:44,334
- What?
501
00:20:45,264 --> 00:20:46,522
- No.
502
00:20:46,522 --> 00:20:49,184
I mean it's probably not gonna happen.
503
00:20:49,184 --> 00:20:52,224
- Oh, no, Jake said that
they were already scheduling
504
00:20:52,224 --> 00:20:53,242
your poly man.
505
00:20:53,242 --> 00:20:54,261
- What?
506
00:20:54,261 --> 00:20:55,402
- No, Kathy just said that
507
00:20:55,402 --> 00:20:56,602
- Kathy?
508
00:20:56,602 --> 00:20:57,841
That bitch.
509
00:20:57,841 --> 00:20:58,842
- She's not a bitch.
510
00:20:58,842 --> 00:20:59,845
- She's manipulative.
511
00:20:59,845 --> 00:21:01,482
Don't trust her promises.
512
00:21:01,482 --> 00:21:02,577
I could have worked for her too,
513
00:21:02,577 --> 00:21:05,040
but I didn't want to kiss her ass, so.
514
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,061
- Oh, that's so unfortunate.
515
00:21:07,061 --> 00:21:08,144
Your mouth, her ass,
516
00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:09,525
my little filmmaking.
517
00:21:09,525 --> 00:21:10,522
- Oh my god.
518
00:21:10,522 --> 00:21:11,520
- No, no, no,
519
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,517
we can call it
520
00:21:12,517 --> 00:21:14,112
Gab Analysis,
521
00:21:14,112 --> 00:21:15,836
or Market Penetration.
522
00:21:15,836 --> 00:21:17,263
- Shut the fuck up.
523
00:21:17,263 --> 00:21:19,482
- Look, it's probably safer
for me up there anyway.
524
00:21:19,482 --> 00:21:20,522
- Yeah, exactly.
525
00:21:20,522 --> 00:21:22,000
You just run for the life vest
526
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,021
and leave the rest of us
to drown in the water.
527
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,104
- Wait, wait, wait.
528
00:21:25,104 --> 00:21:26,202
Safer, life vest?
529
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,701
What are you talking about?
530
00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:31,365
- They might not renew our contract.
531
00:21:31,365 --> 00:21:33,620
- You guys are essential, okay.
532
00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:34,602
They touch you,
533
00:21:34,602 --> 00:21:35,824
their technical support
would get hit so bad,
534
00:21:35,824 --> 00:21:37,221
I promise you,
535
00:21:37,221 --> 00:21:39,861
they'll never complain again.
536
00:21:39,861 --> 00:21:41,322
- Well I guess then they'd just be left
537
00:21:41,322 --> 00:21:42,704
with your 15 minutes of work
538
00:21:42,704 --> 00:21:43,701
that you put in
539
00:21:43,701 --> 00:21:44,704
between your two hour lunch break
540
00:21:44,704 --> 00:21:46,869
and your suspiciously
long bathroom breaks.
541
00:21:46,869 --> 00:21:48,208
- Vera, that was his
Goodfella's impression.
542
00:21:48,208 --> 00:21:52,187
- I'd tell you the truth if I
thought you'd could handle it.
543
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:53,152
- Yeah, here we go.
544
00:21:53,152 --> 00:21:54,150
- Okay.
545
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:55,153
Go on, tell me the truth.
546
00:21:55,153 --> 00:21:56,214
- We live in a world
547
00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:57,777
with firewalls,
548
00:21:57,777 --> 00:22:00,097
and those firewalls need to be guarded.
549
00:22:00,097 --> 00:22:01,083
Who's gonna do it?
550
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:02,385
You?
551
00:22:02,385 --> 00:22:03,926
You Timothy Weinberg?
552
00:22:03,926 --> 00:22:04,843
- Weinberg?
553
00:22:06,550 --> 00:22:07,515
- Let it go Timmy,
554
00:22:07,515 --> 00:22:08,699
he's on a roll.
555
00:22:08,699 --> 00:22:09,862
- I have a greater responsibility
556
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:12,216
than you can possibly fathom.
557
00:22:12,216 --> 00:22:13,220
You have the luxury
558
00:22:13,220 --> 00:22:15,439
of not knowing what I know.
559
00:22:15,439 --> 00:22:16,561
That my work hours
560
00:22:16,561 --> 00:22:17,723
and social habits,
561
00:22:17,723 --> 00:22:19,745
while unconventional
and somewhat offensive,
562
00:22:19,745 --> 00:22:21,799
probably saved lives.
563
00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:23,563
That my existence,
564
00:22:23,563 --> 00:22:27,665
while grotesque and
incomprehensible to you,
565
00:22:27,665 --> 00:22:28,665
saves lives.
566
00:22:30,340 --> 00:22:31,787
You don't want the truth
567
00:22:31,787 --> 00:22:33,965
cause deep down in a place you
don't talk about at parties,
568
00:22:33,965 --> 00:22:36,449
you want me on that call.
569
00:22:36,449 --> 00:22:38,287
You need me on that call.
570
00:22:38,287 --> 00:22:39,704
We use words like
571
00:22:40,987 --> 00:22:42,347
user error
572
00:22:42,347 --> 00:22:43,547
and reboot
573
00:22:43,547 --> 00:22:46,166
and please try that again.
574
00:22:46,166 --> 00:22:48,086
We use these words as a backbone
575
00:22:48,086 --> 00:22:50,006
to a life spent helping morons.
576
00:22:50,006 --> 00:22:52,339
You use them as a punchline.
577
00:22:53,985 --> 00:22:55,140
I have neither the time
578
00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:57,670
nor the inclination to explain myself
579
00:22:57,670 --> 00:22:59,851
to a user that rises and sleeps
580
00:22:59,851 --> 00:23:02,065
under the blanket of the
service that I provide
581
00:23:02,065 --> 00:23:03,518
and the questions the means
582
00:23:03,518 --> 00:23:05,542
by which I provide it.
583
00:23:05,542 --> 00:23:07,401
I'd rather you just said thank you
584
00:23:07,401 --> 00:23:09,151
and went on your way.
585
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,913
- He does a great Rachael McAdams.
586
00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:31,768
- Hey, you hear for your drug test?
587
00:23:31,768 --> 00:23:32,685
Come on in.
588
00:23:55,326 --> 00:23:56,769
- I really don't understand
589
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:59,771
why the test needed to
be administered this way.
590
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,408
- Why?
591
00:24:01,408 --> 00:24:02,741
Are you nervous?
592
00:24:04,235 --> 00:24:05,254
- Well I'm not comfortable,
if that's what you mean.
593
00:24:05,254 --> 00:24:07,899
- You're being overdramatic.
594
00:24:07,899 --> 00:24:09,615
Think of me as
595
00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:10,758
a passive participant
596
00:24:10,758 --> 00:24:13,675
to something you probably do daily.
597
00:24:16,894 --> 00:24:18,654
- I guess metaphorically speaking,
598
00:24:18,654 --> 00:24:22,801
the government's been
doing this to me for years.
599
00:24:22,801 --> 00:24:24,939
Ironically, I always thought drugs
600
00:24:24,939 --> 00:24:28,856
would be a prerequisite
for this sort of thing.
601
00:24:37,750 --> 00:24:38,870
- Whoa, dude what the fuck?
602
00:24:41,611 --> 00:24:43,089
- When you pointed at your crotch,
603
00:24:43,089 --> 00:24:45,696
I thought you meant urine.
604
00:24:45,696 --> 00:24:46,694
- It's not that funny, okay.
605
00:24:46,694 --> 00:24:48,096
I'm traumatized.
606
00:24:48,096 --> 00:24:49,537
I might never be able to go the bathroom
607
00:24:49,537 --> 00:24:50,895
in this building again.
608
00:24:50,895 --> 00:24:52,358
- Good, the test was annual.
609
00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:53,421
Annual, typo.
610
00:24:53,421 --> 00:24:55,878
- Yeah, I see that Sherlock, thank you.
611
00:24:55,878 --> 00:24:57,074
- Get over it.
612
00:24:57,074 --> 00:24:58,075
It's over now.
613
00:24:58,075 --> 00:24:58,908
Forget it.
614
00:25:00,196 --> 00:25:02,417
- This really upsets me man.
615
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,449
- Yeah, you're so sensitive.
616
00:25:07,057 --> 00:25:08,097
- Do you know what the worst part is?
617
00:25:08,097 --> 00:25:09,094
- What?
618
00:25:09,094 --> 00:25:10,235
- How quickly I submitted
to another man's request
619
00:25:10,235 --> 00:25:11,798
to insert something into my anus.
620
00:25:11,798 --> 00:25:13,014
- Okay, technically, he
never made that request.
621
00:25:13,014 --> 00:25:15,396
You, you just ran with it on your own.
622
00:25:15,396 --> 00:25:16,396
- Oh my god.
623
00:25:18,591 --> 00:25:21,841
Do I have latent homosexual tendencies?
624
00:25:23,224 --> 00:25:24,206
I think I might be gay.
625
00:25:24,206 --> 00:25:25,270
- Okay, you're not gay.
626
00:25:25,270 --> 00:25:26,289
- You don't know I'm not gay.
627
00:25:26,289 --> 00:25:28,598
You don't know that about me.
628
00:25:28,598 --> 00:25:29,601
You just said it yourself,
629
00:25:29,601 --> 00:25:31,217
I'm too sensitive.
630
00:25:31,217 --> 00:25:32,697
What's gayer than being too sensitive?
631
00:25:32,697 --> 00:25:34,598
I'll tell you what,
632
00:25:34,598 --> 00:25:36,182
flashing your corn hole
633
00:25:36,182 --> 00:25:38,598
at the first mocha skinned
guy you see in the bathroom.
634
00:25:38,598 --> 00:25:39,761
That's what.
635
00:25:39,761 --> 00:25:41,179
- Yeah.
636
00:25:41,179 --> 00:25:43,179
Yeah, that's pretty gay.
637
00:25:45,099 --> 00:25:46,260
That shirt didn't help.
638
00:25:55,499 --> 00:25:58,166
- Why can't I just use my phone?
639
00:25:59,921 --> 00:26:03,403
So which one's better than the other?
640
00:26:03,403 --> 00:26:05,881
I heard this one's better.
641
00:26:05,881 --> 00:26:07,302
- Uh huh.
642
00:26:07,302 --> 00:26:09,257
- How about this one?
643
00:26:09,257 --> 00:26:10,340
- Yeah, sure.
644
00:26:11,723 --> 00:26:13,890
- Aren't you tech support?
645
00:26:14,961 --> 00:26:17,219
- I don't know what I am anymore.
646
00:26:17,219 --> 00:26:20,321
- Well how about you
support me in this decision?
647
00:26:20,321 --> 00:26:22,683
- I just did.
648
00:26:22,683 --> 00:26:25,003
- You said both were
better than the other.
649
00:26:25,003 --> 00:26:25,836
- Uh huh.
650
00:26:26,747 --> 00:26:28,305
Yeah, that one's got a smaller screen,
651
00:26:28,305 --> 00:26:30,448
so it sucks for games and porn.
652
00:26:30,448 --> 00:26:32,369
And that one's more secure
653
00:26:32,369 --> 00:26:35,073
so you won't really get
any good games and porn.
654
00:26:35,073 --> 00:26:37,809
- Well that was helpful.
655
00:26:49,001 --> 00:26:52,334
- Ah, I hadn't had one of these in ages.
656
00:26:55,381 --> 00:26:57,345
- By ages she means this morning.
657
00:26:57,345 --> 00:26:58,885
- Yeah, well I mean
obese have such a skewed
658
00:26:58,885 --> 00:27:00,407
perception of time and space
659
00:27:00,407 --> 00:27:02,980
when it comes to food.
660
00:27:02,980 --> 00:27:04,884
Yeah, no, I believe that
the acceptable wait time
661
00:27:04,884 --> 00:27:06,706
between meals is inversely proportional
662
00:27:06,706 --> 00:27:08,125
to someone's waistline.
663
00:27:08,125 --> 00:27:09,207
I mean you take you for example,
664
00:27:09,207 --> 00:27:11,703
back in the day, I'm sure
she had a 32 inch waistline
665
00:27:11,703 --> 00:27:12,706
at which point,
666
00:27:12,706 --> 00:27:14,007
a four to six hour window,
667
00:27:14,007 --> 00:27:15,859
perfectly acceptable between meals.
668
00:27:15,859 --> 00:27:16,983
- And now?
669
00:27:16,983 --> 00:27:18,083
- Now,
670
00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:20,423
having achieved Optimus Prime's waistline,
671
00:27:20,423 --> 00:27:22,706
I give her two hours,
672
00:27:22,706 --> 00:27:26,727
three tops before she
resorts to cannabism.
673
00:27:26,727 --> 00:27:28,105
- Did you see that look she gave us?
674
00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:29,287
- Yeah.
675
00:27:29,287 --> 00:27:31,047
I mean people do that
to smokers, you know.
676
00:27:31,047 --> 00:27:32,380
- It's bullshit.
677
00:27:33,325 --> 00:27:34,855
- They're just on a
suicidal, glutinous path
678
00:27:34,855 --> 00:27:36,732
and every single double
cheeseburger she inhales
679
00:27:36,732 --> 00:27:38,331
and no one fucking flinches.
680
00:27:38,331 --> 00:27:39,751
We light up and everyone looks like
681
00:27:39,751 --> 00:27:44,151
we just clubbed the last
goddamned seal on earth.
682
00:27:44,151 --> 00:27:44,984
- It's not fair.
683
00:27:44,984 --> 00:27:45,817
- Yeah.
684
00:27:47,825 --> 00:27:49,442
- Ah, shit, here we go.
685
00:27:49,442 --> 00:27:50,643
- Oh no.
686
00:27:50,643 --> 00:27:51,640
- Hey.
687
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:52,643
Guys.
688
00:27:52,643 --> 00:27:53,640
- No.
689
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:54,600
Go away.
690
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:55,640
Get the fuck out of here.
691
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:56,723
Get out.
692
00:27:56,723 --> 00:27:58,099
Go away.
693
00:27:58,099 --> 00:27:59,134
- I was just wondering.
694
00:27:59,134 --> 00:28:00,259
- You know when we're
out here we're on break.
695
00:28:00,259 --> 00:28:02,099
Right Carter?
696
00:28:02,099 --> 00:28:02,932
- No.
697
00:28:07,126 --> 00:28:07,959
See ya.
698
00:28:10,547 --> 00:28:12,000
See what I have to deal with?
699
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:15,384
- I deal with just as many idiots.
700
00:28:15,384 --> 00:28:17,384
- I don't think so man.
701
00:28:17,384 --> 00:28:18,480
I don't think you do.
- Yeah.
702
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,624
- I think I deal with more idiots.
703
00:28:19,624 --> 00:28:22,067
- You're like enough for like 50 idiots.
704
00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:24,264
- There's too many idiots in the world.
705
00:28:30,723 --> 00:28:31,843
- Randy, my buddy.
706
00:28:31,843 --> 00:28:32,676
Hey man.
707
00:28:33,725 --> 00:28:35,163
hey, I was wondering
708
00:28:35,163 --> 00:28:36,463
what do I do
709
00:28:36,463 --> 00:28:38,283
when I find a wallet, boom
710
00:28:38,283 --> 00:28:39,944
to a minimize the latency
of World of Warcraft?
711
00:28:39,944 --> 00:28:40,777
Hey Randy?
712
00:28:43,384 --> 00:28:44,652
Randy?
713
00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:51,000
- As you can see,
714
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,181
the numbers are not bad.
715
00:28:53,181 --> 00:28:54,931
But we can do better.
716
00:28:55,843 --> 00:28:57,520
We're not slacking on our SLAs,
717
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,784
which is a good thing.
718
00:28:59,784 --> 00:29:02,365
But there's always room for improvement.
719
00:29:02,365 --> 00:29:04,627
If there aren't any more questions.
720
00:29:04,627 --> 00:29:06,127
- Yes Bob,
721
00:29:07,043 --> 00:29:09,221
I was wondering if you
could go over the metrics
722
00:29:09,221 --> 00:29:11,283
for performance in Q two?
723
00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:12,285
- Ah.
724
00:29:12,285 --> 00:29:14,584
- Yes, thank you for reminding me.
725
00:29:14,584 --> 00:29:16,021
So let's talk a bit
726
00:29:16,021 --> 00:29:18,719
about how we got there,
727
00:29:18,719 --> 00:29:20,339
where we are.
728
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:26,599
- I set up Twitter
729
00:29:26,599 --> 00:29:27,779
to sync with my Facebook,
730
00:29:27,779 --> 00:29:29,096
that way when I tweet,
731
00:29:29,096 --> 00:29:30,680
it goes automatically to Facebook
732
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:31,999
but there's latency.
733
00:29:31,999 --> 00:29:33,717
It takes a least five minutes to show up.
734
00:29:33,717 --> 00:29:35,384
Is that our network?
735
00:29:36,699 --> 00:29:40,032
Is there anything you can do about that?
736
00:29:44,221 --> 00:29:45,138
Nice shirt.
737
00:29:49,544 --> 00:29:51,160
- So what's got these things slow?
738
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,163
I don't know,
739
00:29:52,163 --> 00:29:53,544
it's been slower than yesterday.
740
00:29:53,544 --> 00:29:54,888
Anyone on the call have any ideas?
741
00:29:54,888 --> 00:29:57,768
- Okay, what are you clicking on?
742
00:29:57,768 --> 00:29:59,368
- I don't know.
743
00:29:59,368 --> 00:30:01,848
- What are you doing on the website?
744
00:30:01,848 --> 00:30:03,241
Give me something.
745
00:30:03,241 --> 00:30:05,251
- I don't know, it's just slow.
746
00:30:05,251 --> 00:30:06,749
The whole thing is slow.
747
00:30:06,749 --> 00:30:07,971
- Okay, slow to,
748
00:30:07,971 --> 00:30:09,989
slow to load the home page?
749
00:30:09,989 --> 00:30:11,468
- No, homepage is fine.
750
00:30:11,468 --> 00:30:13,301
I'm looking at it now.
751
00:30:14,584 --> 00:30:17,432
- How do you know that it's slow?
752
00:30:17,432 --> 00:30:19,192
- I don't know.
753
00:30:22,627 --> 00:30:23,594
- I'm telling you,
754
00:30:23,594 --> 00:30:24,653
everything is locked up.
755
00:30:24,653 --> 00:30:26,573
Nothing's happening.
756
00:30:26,573 --> 00:30:27,930
- Timmy.
757
00:30:27,930 --> 00:30:28,936
Timmy.
758
00:30:28,936 --> 00:30:30,135
Timmy.
759
00:30:30,135 --> 00:30:31,096
Listen to me,
760
00:30:31,096 --> 00:30:32,232
not a touch screen buddy.
761
00:30:32,232 --> 00:30:33,972
Use the mouse.
762
00:30:33,972 --> 00:30:35,240
- I clicked on something
763
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:36,781
and it took me to a porn site.
764
00:30:36,781 --> 00:30:38,364
It was an accident.
765
00:30:39,746 --> 00:30:42,544
I don't want to get into any trouble.
766
00:30:42,544 --> 00:30:44,323
- Is it true that you can
see the pictures on my phone?
767
00:30:44,323 --> 00:30:46,643
- So I'm at the computer,
768
00:30:46,643 --> 00:30:48,502
minding my own business,
769
00:30:48,502 --> 00:30:51,987
and the weirdest thing happened again.
770
00:30:51,987 --> 00:30:52,820
Porn site.
771
00:30:54,067 --> 00:30:57,400
- Is it true that you can read my email?
772
00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:00,638
- Is it true you can access my webcam
773
00:31:00,638 --> 00:31:03,259
without me knowing it?
774
00:31:03,259 --> 00:31:06,164
- The weirdest thing just happened again.
775
00:31:18,705 --> 00:31:19,846
- Oh no, no, no,
776
00:31:19,846 --> 00:31:22,429
you fucking son of a bitch, no.
777
00:31:26,945 --> 00:31:28,385
No Richard, you fucking pick up.
778
00:31:28,385 --> 00:31:29,686
You pick up you fucking,
779
00:31:29,686 --> 00:31:30,865
fucking voicemail,
780
00:31:30,865 --> 00:31:31,867
goddamn it.
781
00:31:31,867 --> 00:31:32,881
Richard,
782
00:31:32,881 --> 00:31:34,383
Richard, I got a fucking text
message you son of a bitch.
783
00:31:34,383 --> 00:31:36,523
You fucking son of a bitch,
784
00:31:36,523 --> 00:31:37,356
I know you didn't go anywhere
785
00:31:37,356 --> 00:31:38,560
or you missed a fucking flight.
786
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:39,910
Huh?
787
00:31:39,910 --> 00:31:41,379
How do you even know I got your text.
788
00:31:41,379 --> 00:31:42,381
You can't just send a text
789
00:31:42,381 --> 00:31:43,354
and think that
790
00:31:43,354 --> 00:31:44,187
you're in the fucking clear.
791
00:31:44,187 --> 00:31:45,030
How do you know you I got it?
792
00:31:45,030 --> 00:31:45,863
Huh?
793
00:31:49,707 --> 00:31:50,540
Aside from the fact
that I fucking mentioned
794
00:31:50,540 --> 00:31:51,531
that I got it,
795
00:31:51,531 --> 00:31:52,463
how do you fucking know that I got it?
796
00:31:52,463 --> 00:31:53,296
You fuck,
797
00:31:53,296 --> 00:31:54,129
you know, fuck you.
798
00:31:54,129 --> 00:31:54,970
Fuck you, fuck you.
799
00:31:54,970 --> 00:31:55,803
Thanks Richard.
800
00:31:55,803 --> 00:31:56,636
You dick.
801
00:32:00,685 --> 00:32:02,750
- You know, you just
can't slam phones down
802
00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:04,715
the same way anymore.
803
00:32:04,715 --> 00:32:06,770
First you have to like hit
the button to turn it off
804
00:32:06,770 --> 00:32:08,158
and then,
805
00:32:08,158 --> 00:32:09,248
and slam it down I guess,
806
00:32:09,248 --> 00:32:10,081
but then you're like,
807
00:32:10,081 --> 00:32:12,748
hey, shit did I crack my screen?
808
00:32:14,415 --> 00:32:17,415
Hey man, why don't you just go home?
809
00:32:20,414 --> 00:32:21,247
- I could.
810
00:32:23,247 --> 00:32:24,707
- Ah, you're full of shit.
811
00:32:24,707 --> 00:32:26,063
We both know you're a boy scout.
812
00:32:26,063 --> 00:32:26,896
- Yeah.
813
00:32:28,517 --> 00:32:29,699
And what would you know
about responsibility?
814
00:32:29,699 --> 00:32:32,532
- I know that no one here has any.
815
00:32:37,481 --> 00:32:38,484
- I keep making the wrong moves
816
00:32:38,484 --> 00:32:41,234
with this contract situation man.
817
00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:45,171
It sucks, I should be home right now.
818
00:32:45,171 --> 00:32:47,838
- Playing Madden or jerking off?
819
00:32:49,291 --> 00:32:50,791
- Probably Madden.
820
00:32:52,254 --> 00:32:55,177
But I'd probably rub
one out during halftime.
821
00:32:55,177 --> 00:32:56,174
- And just like that,
822
00:32:56,174 --> 00:32:57,177
time for lunch.
823
00:32:57,177 --> 00:32:58,158
I'm thinking Chinese.
824
00:32:58,158 --> 00:32:59,156
- Chinese again.
825
00:32:59,156 --> 00:33:00,158
Yeah.
826
00:33:00,158 --> 00:33:01,156
Third time this week.
827
00:33:01,156 --> 00:33:02,377
You got here like an hour ago dude.
828
00:33:02,377 --> 00:33:03,596
- Well I'm sorry,
829
00:33:03,596 --> 00:33:04,594
I'm sorry.
830
00:33:04,594 --> 00:33:06,356
Maybe exposing my butthole
831
00:33:06,356 --> 00:33:08,137
to a strange dude in the restroom
832
00:33:08,137 --> 00:33:10,716
has increased my appetite.
833
00:33:10,716 --> 00:33:11,694
Do you want to eat
834
00:33:11,694 --> 00:33:15,027
or do you want to analyze my time sheet?
835
00:33:16,452 --> 00:33:17,285
Come on.
836
00:33:20,116 --> 00:33:20,949
Come on.
837
00:33:32,734 --> 00:33:34,871
Did you see Kathy's ass today?
838
00:33:34,871 --> 00:33:37,173
- Yeah, I make it a point
to see that ass every day.
839
00:33:37,173 --> 00:33:39,673
It's part of my daily routine.
840
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:44,276
I bet her dingle berries
taste like skittles.
841
00:33:44,276 --> 00:33:45,854
- I don't know if I'd go that far.
842
00:33:45,854 --> 00:33:48,104
- I'd probably go that far.
843
00:33:49,572 --> 00:33:50,772
I was thinking about something.
844
00:33:50,772 --> 00:33:51,892
- Yeah, let me have it man.
845
00:33:51,892 --> 00:33:53,472
- You know how in Monopoly
846
00:33:53,472 --> 00:33:56,313
they've got that get
out of jail free card?
847
00:33:56,313 --> 00:33:57,556
- Yeah.
848
00:33:57,556 --> 00:33:58,708
- Imagine
849
00:33:58,708 --> 00:33:59,774
if you will,
850
00:33:59,774 --> 00:34:01,270
if you were suddenly issued
851
00:34:01,270 --> 00:34:03,770
a get into vajayjay free card.
852
00:34:06,109 --> 00:34:08,713
It's the vajaja voucher.
853
00:34:08,713 --> 00:34:09,929
A vajayjay voucher,
854
00:34:09,929 --> 00:34:11,348
if you will.
855
00:34:11,348 --> 00:34:12,670
- You mean like a gift
certificate for sex?
856
00:34:12,670 --> 00:34:13,753
- No exactly.
857
00:34:15,650 --> 00:34:16,928
Okay, no here, imagine this.
858
00:34:16,928 --> 00:34:19,172
You have a one time voucher
859
00:34:19,172 --> 00:34:21,407
that would obligate the
woman of your choosing
860
00:34:21,407 --> 00:34:23,157
to have sex with you.
861
00:34:24,057 --> 00:34:27,156
And she has to accommodate your request.
862
00:34:27,156 --> 00:34:28,836
So what do you think?
863
00:34:28,836 --> 00:34:30,878
- I find your erotic and
somewhat disturbing fantasy
864
00:34:30,878 --> 00:34:32,295
oddly intriguing.
865
00:34:34,077 --> 00:34:36,156
What about her marital status?
866
00:34:36,156 --> 00:34:37,153
- Irrelevant.
867
00:34:37,153 --> 00:34:38,158
- Age?
868
00:34:38,158 --> 00:34:39,155
- Usual restrictions.
869
00:34:39,155 --> 00:34:40,158
- Friends, coworkers,
870
00:34:40,158 --> 00:34:41,156
second cousins?
871
00:34:41,156 --> 00:34:42,297
- Yes, yes, gross but yes.
872
00:34:42,297 --> 00:34:43,977
- Domestic only, or
internationally accepted?
873
00:34:43,977 --> 00:34:46,014
- Domestic only.
874
00:34:46,014 --> 00:34:49,374
Some conservative regions of the world
875
00:34:49,374 --> 00:34:51,078
place too strict a penalty
when it comes to sex.
876
00:34:51,078 --> 00:34:53,564
And others just see it as a way of life.
877
00:34:53,564 --> 00:34:56,505
- Right, cause that would
make this unrealistic?
878
00:34:56,505 --> 00:34:57,838
- Yeah, shut up.
879
00:34:58,804 --> 00:35:00,388
Even hypothetical sexual scenarios
880
00:35:00,388 --> 00:35:01,888
need restrictions.
881
00:35:03,323 --> 00:35:06,148
It's the boundaries that
make them more tangible.
882
00:35:06,148 --> 00:35:08,846
There has to be a catch.
883
00:35:08,846 --> 00:35:09,844
- So what's the catch?
884
00:35:09,844 --> 00:35:12,254
- You only get one.
885
00:35:12,254 --> 00:35:14,254
So you got to bust nut wisely.
886
00:35:14,254 --> 00:35:18,421
- Any special considerations
made if she's menstruating?
887
00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:21,662
What about if she's a hermaphrodite?
888
00:35:21,662 --> 00:35:22,660
I think the presence of a dick
889
00:35:22,660 --> 00:35:24,096
should nullify the transaction.
890
00:35:24,096 --> 00:35:25,263
- No do overs.
891
00:35:26,420 --> 00:35:27,753
- That's brutal.
892
00:35:28,761 --> 00:35:30,428
- That's cool, yeah.
893
00:35:33,161 --> 00:35:35,411
- Did she just smile at me?
894
00:35:38,682 --> 00:35:39,695
- I think it was more like
895
00:35:39,695 --> 00:35:40,739
one of those,
896
00:35:40,739 --> 00:35:44,906
I'm glad you're all the way
over there kind of looks.
897
00:35:46,116 --> 00:35:47,854
Hey your rape card would
come in handy here.
898
00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:49,353
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
899
00:35:49,353 --> 00:35:52,217
Who said anything about rape?
900
00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:53,753
This place is always packed.
901
00:35:53,753 --> 00:35:55,170
It's just coffee.
902
00:35:56,170 --> 00:35:59,577
You know crack dealers don't
get this kind of loyalty.
903
00:35:59,577 --> 00:36:02,073
- Well, it was just coffee,
904
00:36:02,073 --> 00:36:03,156
15 years ago.
905
00:36:05,213 --> 00:36:07,212
Now it's headquarters for
the environmentally conscious
906
00:36:07,212 --> 00:36:09,321
left leaning, European
car driving douchebags
907
00:36:09,321 --> 00:36:11,145
who think they have sophisticated taste
908
00:36:11,145 --> 00:36:13,326
cause they overpaid for a
bunch of ground up coffee beans
909
00:36:13,326 --> 00:36:15,273
that were hand picked
in inhuman conditions
910
00:36:15,273 --> 00:36:16,701
by underprivileged children
911
00:36:16,701 --> 00:36:18,084
who's life expectancy is comparable
912
00:36:18,084 --> 00:36:20,283
to the warranty of an iPad.
913
00:36:20,283 --> 00:36:21,280
Which coincidentally,
914
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:22,942
is manufactured on another continent
915
00:36:22,942 --> 00:36:25,166
by underprivileged children
916
00:36:25,166 --> 00:36:28,345
under even less humane conditions.
917
00:36:28,345 --> 00:36:30,928
- So, what does that make them?
918
00:36:32,681 --> 00:36:35,181
- Well I told you, douchebags.
919
00:36:36,365 --> 00:36:38,503
- So we're douchebags?
920
00:36:38,503 --> 00:36:39,949
- Oh no, we have to
work our way up to that.
921
00:36:39,949 --> 00:36:42,391
I'd say in the coffee house
922
00:36:42,391 --> 00:36:43,924
central class structure,
923
00:36:43,924 --> 00:36:45,170
we fall somewhere between
924
00:36:45,170 --> 00:36:46,989
local grad students who for some reason
925
00:36:46,989 --> 00:36:48,727
find the distractions
of a packed coffee house
926
00:36:48,727 --> 00:36:50,228
to be the ideal study setting
927
00:36:50,228 --> 00:36:52,269
and dirty gophers over there
928
00:36:52,269 --> 00:36:53,309
hiding behind their laptops.
929
00:36:53,309 --> 00:36:55,223
- I don't know what dirty gopher is.
930
00:36:55,223 --> 00:36:56,056
- Oh yeah,
931
00:36:56,963 --> 00:36:58,622
a dirty gopher is a man
932
00:36:58,622 --> 00:37:00,578
who seeks out a strategic
seating arrangement
933
00:37:00,578 --> 00:37:02,055
in close proximity
934
00:37:02,055 --> 00:37:03,047
to an attractive woman
935
00:37:03,047 --> 00:37:04,063
with the hopes that
936
00:37:04,063 --> 00:37:05,063
said attractive woman will inadvertently
937
00:37:05,063 --> 00:37:07,847
give him a glimpse of her panties.
938
00:37:07,847 --> 00:37:09,047
Which by the way pales in comparison
939
00:37:09,047 --> 00:37:10,807
to the images these
idiots could be looking at
940
00:37:10,807 --> 00:37:12,205
on those rectangular shaped
things in front of them
941
00:37:12,205 --> 00:37:13,806
currently serving as pathetic camouflage.
942
00:37:13,806 --> 00:37:15,207
- I don't know at that.
943
00:37:15,207 --> 00:37:16,782
So, take a look at that guy.
944
00:37:16,782 --> 00:37:18,567
He's just kind of
minding his own business.
945
00:37:18,567 --> 00:37:20,400
- No, no, wait for it.
946
00:37:26,029 --> 00:37:27,085
See.
947
00:37:27,085 --> 00:37:28,546
Just like gophers.
948
00:37:28,546 --> 00:37:30,231
- The fuck?
949
00:37:30,231 --> 00:37:31,613
- Yeah, this game of peekaboo
950
00:37:31,613 --> 00:37:33,031
became an instinctual part of our genders
951
00:37:33,031 --> 00:37:34,685
shortly after Eve started
wearing a fig leaf.
952
00:37:34,685 --> 00:37:37,703
Before that whole apple biting incident,
953
00:37:37,703 --> 00:37:39,485
we were sort of indifferent
to the womanly parts.
954
00:37:39,485 --> 00:37:41,789
Now, even centuries later,
955
00:37:41,789 --> 00:37:43,629
we start as little boys in middle school
956
00:37:43,629 --> 00:37:45,047
accidentally dropping our pencils,
957
00:37:45,047 --> 00:37:46,365
and eventually
958
00:37:46,365 --> 00:37:47,963
many of us carry this
time honored tradition
959
00:37:47,963 --> 00:37:49,880
on well into adulthood.
960
00:37:51,004 --> 00:37:52,754
Here comes round two.
961
00:38:00,471 --> 00:38:03,138
- What the hell, that's amazing.
962
00:38:05,911 --> 00:38:06,989
- Hey, I wonder if any of those guys
963
00:38:06,989 --> 00:38:10,406
can help us out with our database issues.
964
00:38:12,071 --> 00:38:13,591
- That's wrong.
965
00:38:13,591 --> 00:38:15,010
- What?
966
00:38:57,118 --> 00:38:57,951
Gentlemen,
967
00:38:58,823 --> 00:38:59,821
hi.
968
00:38:59,821 --> 00:39:00,823
I was hoping maybe you can help me
969
00:39:00,823 --> 00:39:03,282
with a technology related issue.
970
00:39:03,282 --> 00:39:04,765
- What makes you think we
can help you with that?
971
00:39:04,765 --> 00:39:06,103
- What makes me think?
972
00:39:06,103 --> 00:39:08,658
How about 400 plus hours
of tech support calls
973
00:39:08,658 --> 00:39:11,341
to the entire cast of Slumdog Millionaire?
974
00:39:11,341 --> 00:39:13,101
- Is there something we can help you with?
975
00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:14,121
- Yeah.
976
00:39:14,121 --> 00:39:15,098
I need a database administrator.
977
00:39:15,098 --> 00:39:16,646
You guys in?
978
00:39:16,646 --> 00:39:18,045
- So we are to your technology needs
979
00:39:18,045 --> 00:39:20,466
what Mexicans are to your landscaping?
980
00:39:20,466 --> 00:39:23,346
Should we hop in the back
of your pickup truck?
981
00:39:23,346 --> 00:39:24,343
- Don't be ridiculous man,
982
00:39:24,343 --> 00:39:25,623
just catch a lift with one
of your cab driver buddies.
983
00:39:25,623 --> 00:39:27,105
- Hey what the fuck is that man?
984
00:39:27,105 --> 00:39:27,938
- That's enough, that's enough.
985
00:39:27,938 --> 00:39:28,771
Let's go, let's go buddy.
986
00:39:28,771 --> 00:39:29,681
Come on.
987
00:39:29,681 --> 00:39:32,848
- I didn't say anything wrong.
988
00:39:35,995 --> 00:39:37,277
- Oh Kathy, I really need to sign those--
989
00:39:37,277 --> 00:39:38,274
- Vera.
990
00:39:38,274 --> 00:39:39,810
- I've sent you like 10 emails today.
991
00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:41,213
- Oh, well you can just
bring them on by the office.
992
00:39:41,213 --> 00:39:43,912
- Okay, or you can stop by and--
993
00:39:43,912 --> 00:39:44,978
- These earrings are so adorable.
994
00:39:44,978 --> 00:39:45,811
Where'd you get them?
995
00:39:45,811 --> 00:39:46,644
- Thanks, I got them online
996
00:39:46,644 --> 00:39:47,477
from one those like charity websites.
997
00:39:47,477 --> 00:39:50,375
All the proceeds go to
help save the pandas.
998
00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:51,391
And who doesn't like pandas, right?
999
00:39:51,391 --> 00:39:52,695
- Cute.
1000
00:39:52,695 --> 00:39:54,695
- It is, so, the papers.
1001
00:39:55,815 --> 00:39:57,735
Really important.
1002
00:39:57,735 --> 00:39:59,197
Just drop by before two today,
1003
00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:00,455
and we'll get it all done,
1004
00:40:00,455 --> 00:40:01,458
and I'll be out of your hair.
1005
00:40:01,458 --> 00:40:02,695
- Bring them on over to my office.
1006
00:40:02,695 --> 00:40:03,698
- Or also that.
1007
00:40:03,698 --> 00:40:04,716
Okay.
1008
00:40:04,716 --> 00:40:05,718
Well I'm gonna go.
1009
00:40:05,718 --> 00:40:06,717
- Great.
- Let's do lunch sometime.
1010
00:40:06,717 --> 00:40:07,719
It's been forever.
- yeah, sure.
1011
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:08,839
- Your life.
1012
00:40:08,839 --> 00:40:10,018
- Definitely, okay.
1013
00:40:10,018 --> 00:40:10,851
- Bye.
1014
00:40:13,118 --> 00:40:14,201
What a bitch.
1015
00:40:16,143 --> 00:40:17,517
- Those are the ugliest f-ing earrings
1016
00:40:17,517 --> 00:40:18,767
I've ever seen.
1017
00:40:21,249 --> 00:40:23,248
- You know what, that was
really embarrassing, okay.
1018
00:40:23,248 --> 00:40:26,531
I don't need you to pull me
out of every social situation.
1019
00:40:26,531 --> 00:40:28,081
- Me?
1020
00:40:28,081 --> 00:40:31,420
I am amazed that you've
gotten this far in life
1021
00:40:31,420 --> 00:40:34,028
without being curb stomped.
1022
00:40:34,028 --> 00:40:35,773
- You know, you don't understand me.
1023
00:40:35,773 --> 00:40:37,180
You're supposed to be my friend.
1024
00:40:37,180 --> 00:40:38,166
I thought we were cool.
1025
00:40:38,166 --> 00:40:39,852
- You're treating me like I'm short round.
1026
00:40:39,852 --> 00:40:40,685
- Well.
1027
00:40:43,436 --> 00:40:44,716
What do you want from me?
1028
00:40:44,716 --> 00:40:47,225
I call it how I see it man.
1029
00:40:47,225 --> 00:40:48,062
- Okay, this is,
1030
00:40:48,062 --> 00:40:49,305
this is what?
1031
00:40:49,305 --> 00:40:52,055
Does anything actually phase you?
1032
00:40:53,350 --> 00:40:54,665
- Ah,
1033
00:40:54,665 --> 00:40:55,593
- I'm serious, like,
1034
00:40:55,593 --> 00:40:56,601
to pull the kind of shit that you do
1035
00:40:56,601 --> 00:40:59,182
and have not gotten your ass beat,
1036
00:40:59,182 --> 00:41:00,729
you're either a complete genius,
1037
00:41:00,729 --> 00:41:03,301
or the most blessed fucking idiot
1038
00:41:03,301 --> 00:41:05,540
without absolutely no fear.
1039
00:41:05,540 --> 00:41:06,628
What are you afraid of?
1040
00:41:06,628 --> 00:41:07,993
- I am six foot five,
1041
00:41:07,993 --> 00:41:10,014
235 pounds and there's two of me.
1042
00:41:10,014 --> 00:41:10,857
- No, I'm serious.
1043
00:41:10,857 --> 00:41:12,537
What are you actually afraid of in life?
1044
00:41:12,537 --> 00:41:13,787
- I don't know.
1045
00:41:17,854 --> 00:41:19,012
I'm afraid of black women and gay men.
1046
00:41:19,012 --> 00:41:20,429
- Seriously dude.
1047
00:41:22,820 --> 00:41:23,824
- No, yeah.
1048
00:41:23,824 --> 00:41:25,327
Have you ever seen a
black woman get angry?
1049
00:41:25,327 --> 00:41:26,244
It's crazy.
1050
00:41:28,188 --> 00:41:29,178
And gay men, when they get angry,
1051
00:41:29,178 --> 00:41:31,880
they turn into black women.
1052
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,337
- God, it just doesn't
fucking stop with you.
1053
00:41:33,337 --> 00:41:34,730
- Look man.
1054
00:41:34,730 --> 00:41:35,563
You drive.
1055
00:41:36,937 --> 00:41:37,982
I don't feel like it.
1056
00:41:37,982 --> 00:41:38,982
- Seriously?
1057
00:41:40,580 --> 00:41:42,585
- It's crazy to me that
things like that still happen.
1058
00:41:42,585 --> 00:41:44,457
- Crazy, it's not even actually crazy.
1059
00:41:44,457 --> 00:41:46,068
It's pretty shocking to me.
1060
00:41:46,068 --> 00:41:47,982
- It's so much more than shocking.
1061
00:41:47,982 --> 00:41:49,588
- Hey, anybody know databases,
1062
00:41:49,588 --> 00:41:51,578
hop in back, it's good pay.
1063
00:41:51,578 --> 00:41:53,742
- Nice blouse asshole.
1064
00:42:00,898 --> 00:42:01,731
- Daniel?
1065
00:42:04,649 --> 00:42:05,545
- Dan.
1066
00:42:05,545 --> 00:42:06,446
- Okay, Dan,
1067
00:42:06,446 --> 00:42:08,363
I'm here for your poly.
1068
00:42:09,434 --> 00:42:11,033
- Oh, okay, yeah, right.
1069
00:42:11,033 --> 00:42:12,609
Okay, I was
1070
00:42:12,609 --> 00:42:13,593
warned about,
1071
00:42:13,593 --> 00:42:14,438
told about you guys.
1072
00:42:14,438 --> 00:42:15,993
- Just to be clear,
1073
00:42:15,993 --> 00:42:17,332
this is a life cell poly,
1074
00:42:17,332 --> 00:42:18,724
which means
1075
00:42:18,724 --> 00:42:20,078
some questions may seem evasive,
1076
00:42:20,078 --> 00:42:22,414
but I assure you they serve a purpose.
1077
00:42:22,414 --> 00:42:25,700
So, let's start with baseline.
1078
00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:27,426
State your full name.
1079
00:42:27,426 --> 00:42:29,684
- Daniel Shumaker.
1080
00:42:29,684 --> 00:42:30,582
- Date of birth?
1081
00:42:30,582 --> 00:42:32,415
- September 7th, 1987.
1082
00:42:33,614 --> 00:42:35,678
- What is your job title?
1083
00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:37,595
- I am a systems admin.
1084
00:42:39,577 --> 00:42:40,948
- Have you ever engaged in any unlawful
1085
00:42:40,948 --> 00:42:42,441
or unethical activities
1086
00:42:42,441 --> 00:42:44,212
in your place of work?
1087
00:42:44,212 --> 00:42:45,620
- No.
1088
00:42:46,846 --> 00:42:47,768
Oh, I'm sorry.
1089
00:42:47,768 --> 00:42:50,009
What was the beep for?
1090
00:42:50,009 --> 00:42:51,401
- It's okay.
1091
00:42:51,401 --> 00:42:52,445
- Does that mean,
1092
00:42:52,445 --> 00:42:53,606
does that mean I'm lying?
1093
00:42:53,606 --> 00:42:54,832
- No, everyone gets
dinged on that question.
1094
00:42:54,832 --> 00:42:57,577
But we'll come back to ethics later.
1095
00:42:57,577 --> 00:43:00,340
Are you now, or have
you ever been affiliated
1096
00:43:00,340 --> 00:43:02,036
with any groups or organizations
1097
00:43:02,036 --> 00:43:05,316
that have ill will toward
the United States government?
1098
00:43:05,316 --> 00:43:06,149
- No.
1099
00:43:09,092 --> 00:43:10,404
- Do you now or have you ever engaged in
1100
00:43:10,404 --> 00:43:12,571
any homosexual activities?
1101
00:43:13,899 --> 00:43:16,427
- Ah, I saw Magic Mike in 3D.
1102
00:43:16,427 --> 00:43:18,158
I don't think that makes me gay.
1103
00:43:19,822 --> 00:43:20,655
- Okay.
1104
00:43:21,780 --> 00:43:23,540
Do you now, or have you ever
had thoughts or fantasies
1105
00:43:23,540 --> 00:43:25,817
involving rape or violence?
1106
00:43:25,817 --> 00:43:26,665
- No.
1107
00:43:29,998 --> 00:43:30,836
Okay, no.
1108
00:43:30,836 --> 00:43:33,028
Not, not intentionally.
1109
00:43:33,028 --> 00:43:34,778
- I don't understand.
1110
00:43:37,054 --> 00:43:38,750
- Well you know how in Monopoly,
1111
00:43:38,750 --> 00:43:41,012
you know, they've got this
get out of jail free card?
1112
00:43:41,012 --> 00:43:42,932
So you know, I just thought it'd be funny
1113
00:43:42,932 --> 00:43:45,086
if there was like this get
into vajayvaj free card.
1114
00:43:45,086 --> 00:43:45,919
- A what?
1115
00:43:47,156 --> 00:43:49,396
- I'm sorry, is there anyway
that we can just kind of
1116
00:43:49,396 --> 00:43:50,660
come back to
1117
00:43:50,660 --> 00:43:53,604
the rape thing another time?
1118
00:43:53,604 --> 00:43:54,437
- Okay.
1119
00:43:59,016 --> 00:44:00,368
Have you ever engaged in any sexual
1120
00:44:00,368 --> 00:44:02,512
our lewd acts in the office?
1121
00:44:02,512 --> 00:44:03,345
- No.
1122
00:44:04,206 --> 00:44:05,039
Maybe a little bit.
1123
00:44:05,039 --> 00:44:05,872
- Explain.
1124
00:44:06,921 --> 00:44:09,438
- I diddled my project
manager a few times.
1125
00:44:09,438 --> 00:44:10,313
That's it.
1126
00:44:11,188 --> 00:44:12,046
Fuck.
1127
00:44:12,046 --> 00:44:12,879
And I
1128
00:44:14,494 --> 00:44:16,660
masturbated in the Enterprise office.
1129
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:18,932
I masturbated right in that chair.
1130
00:44:19,881 --> 00:44:20,825
and in Kathy's office,
1131
00:44:20,825 --> 00:44:22,942
and the fourth floor conference rooms,
1132
00:44:22,942 --> 00:44:24,521
and I tried the server room,
1133
00:44:24,521 --> 00:44:27,097
but it's a little too cold.
1134
00:44:27,097 --> 00:44:30,601
- Do you realize how creepy you are?
1135
00:44:30,601 --> 00:44:31,434
- Nope.
1136
00:44:36,276 --> 00:44:37,758
Oh, hi.
1137
00:44:37,758 --> 00:44:38,591
Hi.
1138
00:44:39,486 --> 00:44:40,782
You are with Kathy's team, so,
1139
00:44:40,782 --> 00:44:43,188
I mean you guys must know each other?
1140
00:44:43,188 --> 00:44:44,782
- Can you come to the data center?
1141
00:44:44,782 --> 00:44:47,979
- Okay, would you like me to come
1142
00:44:47,979 --> 00:44:49,374
cause I do the systems.
1143
00:44:49,374 --> 00:44:50,207
- No need.
1144
00:44:53,801 --> 00:44:55,589
- I'll tell you what,
1145
00:44:55,589 --> 00:44:57,374
we'll give you a call if
there's a semen shortage
1146
00:44:57,374 --> 00:44:59,207
on any of the servers.
1147
00:45:09,460 --> 00:45:11,545
- I think it went okay.
1148
00:45:23,824 --> 00:45:25,433
Who's that?
1149
00:45:25,433 --> 00:45:27,999
- Oh, it's Amanda from marketing.
1150
00:45:27,999 --> 00:45:31,466
- I didn't know Amanda
was your Facebook buddy.
1151
00:45:31,466 --> 00:45:34,184
- Who said anything about Facebook?
1152
00:45:34,184 --> 00:45:36,330
- Where'd you get those pictures from?
1153
00:45:36,330 --> 00:45:37,163
- Ah,
1154
00:45:39,263 --> 00:45:41,130
- Do I want to know?
1155
00:45:41,130 --> 00:45:41,963
- What?
1156
00:45:43,202 --> 00:45:44,035
- Why?
1157
00:45:49,573 --> 00:45:50,406
Holy shit.
1158
00:45:52,195 --> 00:45:53,808
- It's good to be the admin.
1159
00:45:53,808 --> 00:45:56,047
- What are you doing?
1160
00:45:56,047 --> 00:45:57,434
- I have,
1161
00:45:57,434 --> 00:46:00,042
I have admin privileges on
everyone's work computer, right.
1162
00:46:00,042 --> 00:46:04,015
But they should only
keep work stuff on there.
1163
00:46:04,015 --> 00:46:05,973
Just because you have a
folder called my pictures
1164
00:46:05,973 --> 00:46:07,475
doesn't mean you should load it up
1165
00:46:07,475 --> 00:46:09,695
with your very, very
private vacation photos.
1166
00:46:09,695 --> 00:46:11,413
- Okay, close that, now.
1167
00:46:11,413 --> 00:46:12,901
- Why?
1168
00:46:12,901 --> 00:46:14,168
- It's wrong.
1169
00:46:14,168 --> 00:46:15,962
- Says the guy who wants a rape voucher.
1170
00:46:15,962 --> 00:46:17,130
- Can you stop calling it that.
1171
00:46:17,130 --> 00:46:18,490
Look, just because you got,
1172
00:46:18,490 --> 00:46:20,213
because you can access people's files
1173
00:46:20,213 --> 00:46:21,269
without them knowing,
1174
00:46:21,269 --> 00:46:22,687
doesn't mean that you can
snoop around like that.
1175
00:46:22,687 --> 00:46:23,909
I mean,
1176
00:46:23,909 --> 00:46:26,026
you should be using,
1177
00:46:26,026 --> 00:46:27,946
using admin privileges for
1178
00:46:27,946 --> 00:46:30,575
troubleshooting workstations.
1179
00:46:30,575 --> 00:46:31,994
- I am troubleshooting.
1180
00:46:31,994 --> 00:46:32,837
She submitted a ticket.
1181
00:46:32,837 --> 00:46:34,554
Said her computer's running slow.
1182
00:46:34,554 --> 00:46:35,781
Maybe it's running slow because
1183
00:46:35,781 --> 00:46:37,712
she's running out of disc space.
1184
00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:39,082
Maybe she's running out of space
1185
00:46:39,082 --> 00:46:40,613
because she doesn't realize
1186
00:46:40,613 --> 00:46:44,661
the file size of her
enormous titties in RAW.
1187
00:46:44,661 --> 00:46:45,835
- Yeah.
1188
00:46:45,835 --> 00:46:47,098
Just be professional.
1189
00:46:47,098 --> 00:46:48,949
That's all I'm saying.
1190
00:46:48,949 --> 00:46:50,175
- Professional's a lost art
1191
00:46:50,175 --> 00:46:52,799
in this consumer driven world.
1192
00:46:52,799 --> 00:46:55,045
- I don't even know what that means.
1193
00:46:55,045 --> 00:46:57,748
- It means everything's so
fucking casual these days,
1194
00:46:57,748 --> 00:46:59,402
business casual.
1195
00:46:59,402 --> 00:47:01,406
B-Y-O-D.
1196
00:47:01,406 --> 00:47:03,551
I want my iPhone to connect to my work,
1197
00:47:03,551 --> 00:47:05,471
and I want my necklace to connect to my
1198
00:47:05,471 --> 00:47:06,970
corporate resources.
1199
00:47:06,970 --> 00:47:09,165
Like that's so fucking secure.
1200
00:47:09,165 --> 00:47:11,605
The line between work and play
1201
00:47:11,605 --> 00:47:14,326
is like so blurry when
it comes to technology.
1202
00:47:14,326 --> 00:47:15,909
No doubt these fuckers
can be super productive
1203
00:47:15,909 --> 00:47:17,399
when they're checking social media
1204
00:47:17,399 --> 00:47:18,831
every 15 minutes.
1205
00:47:18,831 --> 00:47:19,855
So excuse me,
1206
00:47:19,855 --> 00:47:22,335
excuse me captain America.
1207
00:47:22,335 --> 00:47:24,762
These fuckers are too stupid to realize
1208
00:47:24,762 --> 00:47:26,581
that every time they sync
their phone to their desktop
1209
00:47:26,581 --> 00:47:29,831
it also copies over their sexting pics.
1210
00:47:30,901 --> 00:47:32,151
Check this out.
1211
00:47:35,381 --> 00:47:36,381
Look at her.
1212
00:47:39,242 --> 00:47:40,825
She's so beautiful.
1213
00:47:42,122 --> 00:47:43,631
- What is that?
1214
00:47:43,631 --> 00:47:44,757
- Oh, that's her webcam.
1215
00:47:44,757 --> 00:47:46,005
- Oh, that's live,
1216
00:47:46,005 --> 00:47:46,863
right now?
1217
00:47:46,863 --> 00:47:47,696
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1218
00:47:47,696 --> 00:47:48,858
All I did was--
1219
00:47:48,858 --> 00:47:49,695
- No.
1220
00:47:49,695 --> 00:47:50,549
I don't want to hear how you do it.
1221
00:47:50,549 --> 00:47:54,716
- Alright, what if I printed
out a peeping tom voucher?
1222
00:47:56,122 --> 00:47:57,013
Shit, Fredo, what's up?
1223
00:47:57,013 --> 00:47:59,156
- My daughter's in trouble.
1224
00:47:59,156 --> 00:48:00,154
- What?
1225
00:48:00,154 --> 00:48:02,237
- She's stuck in Nigeria.
1226
00:48:03,690 --> 00:48:06,666
- Have you tried calling your daughter?
1227
00:48:06,666 --> 00:48:07,499
- No.
1228
00:48:12,426 --> 00:48:13,676
- There you go.
1229
00:48:25,087 --> 00:48:26,650
- Hello?
1230
00:48:26,650 --> 00:48:27,631
- Betty, honey.
1231
00:48:27,631 --> 00:48:28,798
- Dad?
1232
00:48:29,855 --> 00:48:31,322
- Are you okay?
1233
00:48:31,322 --> 00:48:32,223
- What?
1234
00:48:32,223 --> 00:48:33,576
- Where are you?
1235
00:48:33,576 --> 00:48:35,578
- At work.
1236
00:48:35,578 --> 00:48:37,797
- When did you get a job in Nigeria?
1237
00:48:37,797 --> 00:48:39,781
- Jesus, really?
1238
00:48:39,781 --> 00:48:41,941
- I got your email.
1239
00:48:41,941 --> 00:48:43,338
- What email?
1240
00:48:43,338 --> 00:48:44,904
Dad are you okay?
1241
00:48:44,904 --> 00:48:45,786
- Hey, Betty.
1242
00:48:45,786 --> 00:48:46,879
Your dad's fine.
1243
00:48:46,879 --> 00:48:48,863
Okay, he just sent some
money to a stranger
1244
00:48:48,863 --> 00:48:51,189
for a plane ticket to escape
blood diamond runners.
1245
00:48:51,189 --> 00:48:52,959
I'm gonna go clean up his computer,
1246
00:48:52,959 --> 00:48:54,826
and he's gonna call AMEX.
1247
00:48:54,826 --> 00:48:56,378
But everything's cool, okay.
1248
00:48:56,378 --> 00:48:57,247
- Okay.
1249
00:48:57,247 --> 00:48:58,093
- Say bye Freddy.
1250
00:48:58,093 --> 00:48:59,176
- Bye Freddy.
1251
00:49:06,026 --> 00:49:07,333
- I'm pretty sure we each get our own.
1252
00:49:07,333 --> 00:49:08,207
- No way man,
1253
00:49:08,207 --> 00:49:09,162
they're just gonna give us a huge one
1254
00:49:09,162 --> 00:49:10,300
and we're gonna have to share it.
1255
00:49:10,300 --> 00:49:11,311
- Well here he is.
1256
00:49:11,311 --> 00:49:12,895
Let's just ask him.
1257
00:49:12,895 --> 00:49:14,122
- Ah, can I help you guys?
1258
00:49:14,122 --> 00:49:16,058
- Maybe you can help us settle something.
1259
00:49:16,058 --> 00:49:19,342
How many clouds are we buying?
1260
00:49:19,342 --> 00:49:20,869
You know, the clouds.
1261
00:49:20,869 --> 00:49:22,842
How many are we purchasing?
1262
00:49:22,842 --> 00:49:25,775
And please tell me we each get our own.
1263
00:49:25,775 --> 00:49:26,773
- Cloud?
1264
00:49:26,773 --> 00:49:28,606
Oh, bless your hearts.
1265
00:49:29,461 --> 00:49:31,909
Okay, cloud services.
1266
00:49:31,909 --> 00:49:33,642
I don't know if you guys know exactly--
1267
00:49:33,642 --> 00:49:34,986
- Time out.
1268
00:49:34,986 --> 00:49:37,736
Where is it physically right now?
1269
00:49:39,557 --> 00:49:40,462
I mean is it where I think it is?
1270
00:49:40,462 --> 00:49:42,046
- It's not in the clouds.
1271
00:49:42,046 --> 00:49:43,048
- Well not anymore.
1272
00:49:43,048 --> 00:49:43,881
Right.
1273
00:49:43,881 --> 00:49:46,059
Thanks a lot Al Queda.
1274
00:49:46,059 --> 00:49:47,489
- Okay.
1275
00:49:47,489 --> 00:49:48,336
Cloud--
1276
00:49:48,336 --> 00:49:49,236
- Do you think I can see one.
1277
00:49:49,236 --> 00:49:50,454
Cause I'd really like to see one.
1278
00:49:50,454 --> 00:49:51,321
- Me too.
1279
00:49:51,321 --> 00:49:53,142
I would really like an orange one as well.
1280
00:49:53,142 --> 00:49:55,632
Definitely an orange one.
1281
00:49:55,632 --> 00:49:56,715
- Yeah, I like where his head is at
1282
00:49:56,715 --> 00:49:59,312
because I don't want to
confuse mine with his.
1283
00:49:59,312 --> 00:50:01,019
So I was gonna go with
something like metallic blue,
1284
00:50:01,019 --> 00:50:02,955
you know, a little bit more subtle,
1285
00:50:02,955 --> 00:50:05,243
nothing over the top.
1286
00:50:05,243 --> 00:50:06,102
- Yeah, alright, so.
1287
00:50:06,102 --> 00:50:07,664
Metallic blue.
1288
00:50:07,664 --> 00:50:08,497
Orange.
1289
00:50:09,558 --> 00:50:11,414
Just make sure you
don't pour water on them
1290
00:50:11,414 --> 00:50:13,184
cause they will multiply.
1291
00:50:13,184 --> 00:50:14,246
I'm sorry.
1292
00:50:14,246 --> 00:50:15,936
I don't know what any of this is about.
1293
00:50:15,936 --> 00:50:18,795
Is that why you guys came to my office?
1294
00:50:18,795 --> 00:50:19,734
- Oh, not at all.
1295
00:50:19,734 --> 00:50:20,763
We're actually here to ask you
1296
00:50:20,763 --> 00:50:21,632
about your SOPs
1297
00:50:21,632 --> 00:50:24,470
as they pertain to the
privacy act of 1974?
1298
00:50:24,470 --> 00:50:27,424
- And also, have you been the
admin on duty all day today?
1299
00:50:27,424 --> 00:50:28,341
- Ah, yeah.
1300
00:50:37,270 --> 00:50:38,635
Hey, Kathy.
1301
00:50:38,635 --> 00:50:39,885
- Knock, knock.
1302
00:50:42,272 --> 00:50:45,062
Why are you out of breath?
1303
00:50:45,062 --> 00:50:47,078
- I wanted to mention I'm out of breath.
1304
00:50:47,078 --> 00:50:49,376
- You should cut back on the smokes.
1305
00:50:49,376 --> 00:50:50,656
- I should cut out the smoking.
1306
00:50:50,656 --> 00:50:52,187
Quick question.
1307
00:50:52,187 --> 00:50:53,872
Who was that in my office?
1308
00:50:53,872 --> 00:50:55,163
- Corp Sec.
1309
00:50:55,163 --> 00:50:57,286
- Corporate Security.
1310
00:50:57,286 --> 00:50:58,119
What for?
1311
00:51:00,805 --> 00:51:02,582
- For your screening for your position.
1312
00:51:02,582 --> 00:51:05,419
- Well I thought all
I needed was the poly.
1313
00:51:05,419 --> 00:51:06,419
- What poly?
1314
00:51:07,759 --> 00:51:09,259
- That poly interview.
1315
00:51:09,259 --> 00:51:12,320
- You don't need a poly for this.
1316
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:14,066
- Then who was Carla?
1317
00:51:14,066 --> 00:51:17,483
- I don't know what you're talking about.
1318
00:51:20,278 --> 00:51:21,867
- God, those little fuckers.
1319
00:51:21,867 --> 00:51:23,078
- Excuse me?
1320
00:51:23,078 --> 00:51:24,838
- You know, I am so sorry
for coming into your room
1321
00:51:24,838 --> 00:51:26,421
and just being all,
1322
00:51:28,742 --> 00:51:30,918
- Did you find that email?
1323
00:51:30,918 --> 00:51:31,816
- Oh yeah.
1324
00:51:31,816 --> 00:51:32,733
About that.
1325
00:51:34,155 --> 00:51:35,696
About that.
1326
00:51:35,696 --> 00:51:37,196
I started looking.
1327
00:51:45,382 --> 00:51:46,379
I really don't know.
1328
00:51:46,379 --> 00:51:47,464
- You don't know?
1329
00:51:47,464 --> 00:51:48,642
- Well I don't know dates.
1330
00:51:48,642 --> 00:51:49,627
- Dates?
1331
00:51:49,627 --> 00:51:51,275
- Yeah, I need dates.
1332
00:51:51,275 --> 00:51:52,108
Dates.
1333
00:51:56,449 --> 00:51:57,282
A date?
1334
00:51:58,582 --> 00:51:59,415
Okay.
1335
00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:04,256
Would you like me to take you on a date?
1336
00:52:04,256 --> 00:52:05,089
- What?
1337
00:52:07,260 --> 00:52:08,129
No.
1338
00:52:08,129 --> 00:52:09,062
- Okay.
1339
00:52:09,062 --> 00:52:11,718
Okay, sorry, I'm just
miscommunicating with.
1340
00:52:11,718 --> 00:52:12,551
Sorry.
1341
00:52:14,130 --> 00:52:15,297
Go team, yeah.
1342
00:52:34,305 --> 00:52:35,587
- What?
1343
00:52:35,587 --> 00:52:37,425
- What are you watching?
1344
00:52:37,425 --> 00:52:39,468
- Oh, I'm just watching a tutorial
1345
00:52:39,468 --> 00:52:41,388
on how to install something
1346
00:52:41,388 --> 00:52:43,228
I want to install later.
1347
00:52:43,228 --> 00:52:44,061
- Really?
1348
00:52:45,121 --> 00:52:46,166
- Yeah.
1349
00:52:46,166 --> 00:52:47,857
The guy's about to insert his disc.
1350
00:52:47,857 --> 00:52:49,357
- I am sure he is.
1351
00:52:53,891 --> 00:52:54,808
- Hi Kathy.
1352
00:52:55,657 --> 00:52:56,497
- Oh, hey Raj.
1353
00:52:56,497 --> 00:52:59,860
Did you ever figure out
that guy's email thing?
1354
00:52:59,860 --> 00:53:01,254
I mean I tried everything man.
1355
00:53:01,254 --> 00:53:03,116
It's definitely not his client.
1356
00:53:03,116 --> 00:53:05,798
- Yeah, it was a bad load balancer.
1357
00:53:05,798 --> 00:53:07,715
- Good, you're amazing.
1358
00:53:14,390 --> 00:53:16,307
- I'll come back later.
1359
00:53:19,148 --> 00:53:21,315
- That boy's wicked smart.
1360
00:53:24,105 --> 00:53:25,516
Kasey Affleck, nevermind.
1361
00:53:25,516 --> 00:53:27,169
But he actually is super smart.
1362
00:53:27,169 --> 00:53:28,002
- Oh yeah?
1363
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,841
- Yeah, he went to IIT.
1364
00:53:30,841 --> 00:53:32,837
- Don't you mean ITT?
1365
00:53:32,837 --> 00:53:33,958
- No, no,
1366
00:53:33,958 --> 00:53:35,110
Indian Institutes of Technology.
1367
00:53:35,110 --> 00:53:37,974
It's like harder to get into than MIT.
1368
00:53:37,974 --> 00:53:39,873
- Isn't that in India?
1369
00:53:39,873 --> 00:53:41,873
- Yeah, did you see Raj?
1370
00:53:43,142 --> 00:53:45,725
Does he look like Sitting Bull?
1371
00:53:48,218 --> 00:53:52,301
Anyway, that's the kind
of guy I want on my team.
1372
00:53:58,422 --> 00:54:00,625
- Can I have my coffee now?
1373
00:54:00,625 --> 00:54:01,505
- Oh, yeah, sure.
1374
00:54:01,505 --> 00:54:04,005
I don't like coffee, go ahead.
1375
00:54:23,862 --> 00:54:24,945
- Hiya buddy.
1376
00:54:26,332 --> 00:54:27,365
- How's it going?
1377
00:54:27,365 --> 00:54:29,212
- Whatcha doing?
1378
00:54:29,212 --> 00:54:31,370
- Oh, just looking at some tickets.
1379
00:54:31,370 --> 00:54:32,537
- Tickets, hm?
1380
00:54:33,836 --> 00:54:35,419
I saw that alt tab.
1381
00:54:36,278 --> 00:54:38,593
- Okay, I may have been
looking at a little you porn.
1382
00:54:38,593 --> 00:54:39,921
- Bullshit.
1383
00:54:39,921 --> 00:54:41,588
You never hide porn.
1384
00:54:52,709 --> 00:54:53,542
- Don't.
1385
00:54:56,273 --> 00:54:57,831
Don't.
1386
00:54:57,831 --> 00:54:58,664
Don't.
1387
00:54:59,683 --> 00:55:00,783
Stop it, stop.
1388
00:55:00,783 --> 00:55:01,616
- Tell me.
- Stop it.
1389
00:55:01,616 --> 00:55:02,449
- Tell me.
- Stop it.
1390
00:55:02,449 --> 00:55:03,282
- Tell me.
1391
00:55:03,282 --> 00:55:04,782
- Oh my god, okay.
1392
00:55:06,957 --> 00:55:09,482
I was researching latent
homosexual tendencies.
1393
00:55:09,482 --> 00:55:10,315
- Oh my god.
1394
00:55:10,315 --> 00:55:12,549
You are unbelievable.
1395
00:55:12,549 --> 00:55:15,189
- See, I knew you wouldn't understand.
1396
00:55:15,189 --> 00:55:18,837
My people have been through
decades of persecution, okay.
1397
00:55:18,837 --> 00:55:20,474
I could use a little bit
more support on this.
1398
00:55:20,474 --> 00:55:21,333
- Your people?
1399
00:55:21,333 --> 00:55:22,166
- Yeah.
1400
00:55:24,101 --> 00:55:25,344
- Every few months you conjure up
1401
00:55:25,344 --> 00:55:26,576
some baseless,
1402
00:55:26,576 --> 00:55:28,961
life altering emergency.
1403
00:55:28,961 --> 00:55:30,550
You notice that?
1404
00:55:30,550 --> 00:55:31,383
Hmm?
1405
00:55:32,271 --> 00:55:33,440
Last January
1406
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,754
when you thought you
had testicular cancer.
1407
00:55:35,754 --> 00:55:37,504
You had the whole office
taking up collections
1408
00:55:37,504 --> 00:55:40,378
on your anticipated medical expenses.
1409
00:55:40,378 --> 00:55:41,768
You couldn't stop going on about how
1410
00:55:41,768 --> 00:55:43,587
you're gonna be Randy one ball.
1411
00:55:43,587 --> 00:55:44,762
- I felt a bump.
1412
00:55:44,762 --> 00:55:45,872
- Yeah, that was a pimple.
1413
00:55:45,872 --> 00:55:47,674
- Yeah, thanks for
checking that out for me.
1414
00:55:47,674 --> 00:55:50,784
- Yeah, that wasn't
high on my bucket list.
1415
00:55:50,784 --> 00:55:51,617
- Sorry.
1416
00:55:52,624 --> 00:55:54,849
- You confused caffeine induced jitters
1417
00:55:54,849 --> 00:55:56,037
with Parkinson's.
1418
00:55:56,037 --> 00:55:57,210
- I had the shakes.
1419
00:55:57,210 --> 00:55:58,320
- Yeah, well five cups of coffee
1420
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,229
is gonna do that to you buddy.
1421
00:56:00,229 --> 00:56:01,351
Remember that soup only diet?
1422
00:56:01,351 --> 00:56:06,277
You had nothing but alphabet
soup for three weeks.
1423
00:56:06,277 --> 00:56:07,568
You have a bad habit of
not flushing the toilet.
1424
00:56:07,568 --> 00:56:08,810
I went into the stall one time.
1425
00:56:08,810 --> 00:56:09,733
I swear to god,
1426
00:56:09,733 --> 00:56:10,725
it looked like you gave birth
1427
00:56:10,725 --> 00:56:13,024
to a Charles Dickens' novel.
1428
00:56:13,024 --> 00:56:14,645
- Those were the worst of times.
1429
00:56:14,645 --> 00:56:17,562
- You make them the worst of times.
1430
00:56:18,570 --> 00:56:20,266
- And now because of one misunderstanding
1431
00:56:20,266 --> 00:56:21,168
in the men's room,
1432
00:56:21,168 --> 00:56:22,368
you are preparing for a life
1433
00:56:22,368 --> 00:56:23,785
of bone munching.
1434
00:56:26,234 --> 00:56:27,877
Here's a dose of reality.
1435
00:56:27,877 --> 00:56:29,056
You are not gay.
1436
00:56:29,056 --> 00:56:30,533
You are far from being gay.
1437
00:56:30,533 --> 00:56:31,920
Because every homosexual man that I know
1438
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:32,901
has cultural awareness,
1439
00:56:32,901 --> 00:56:33,734
social grace,
1440
00:56:33,734 --> 00:56:34,613
is in shape.
1441
00:56:34,613 --> 00:56:36,624
You couldn't entice Andy Dick on Viagra
1442
00:56:36,624 --> 00:56:39,200
with that battleship you call an ass.
1443
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:40,693
For better, for worse,
1444
00:56:40,693 --> 00:56:43,680
you're just a heterosexual
middle class man
1445
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,513
with a serious case of homophobia.
1446
00:56:47,690 --> 00:56:49,338
- So mean.
1447
00:56:49,338 --> 00:56:50,517
- I'm sorry.
1448
00:56:50,517 --> 00:56:51,767
That was rough.
1449
00:56:53,499 --> 00:56:55,328
Can we move past this now?
1450
00:56:55,328 --> 00:56:56,701
Can we talk about my problems?
1451
00:56:56,701 --> 00:56:58,893
- I'd love to talk about your problems.
1452
00:56:58,893 --> 00:57:01,491
Your problems are awesome.
1453
00:57:01,491 --> 00:57:03,491
Favorite part of my day.
1454
00:57:06,483 --> 00:57:07,816
- Well, I think,
1455
00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:10,243
I may have,
1456
00:57:10,243 --> 00:57:11,641
may have,
1457
00:57:11,641 --> 00:57:13,752
screwed up my security screening.
1458
00:57:13,752 --> 00:57:15,510
- Your poly?
1459
00:57:15,510 --> 00:57:17,315
- That was a fake poly.
1460
00:57:17,315 --> 00:57:19,821
- Wouldn't get your hopes
up about that job buddy.
1461
00:57:19,821 --> 00:57:21,960
- What do you mean?
1462
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:23,843
- Well rumor has it
that Kathy's pushing HR
1463
00:57:23,843 --> 00:57:25,843
to make an offer to Raj.
1464
00:57:26,787 --> 00:57:28,286
- Roger Smith?
1465
00:57:28,286 --> 00:57:30,227
- No, no, no, Raj.
1466
00:57:30,227 --> 00:57:32,310
Short for Rajar Babananu.
1467
00:57:33,275 --> 00:57:34,179
Rajar Baba
1468
00:57:34,179 --> 00:57:35,429
yeah, whatever.
1469
00:57:55,656 --> 00:57:56,632
- Can I help you?
1470
00:57:56,632 --> 00:57:57,752
- Yeah.
1471
00:57:57,752 --> 00:57:59,160
Quick question.
1472
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:02,707
Why did you give Raj the job instead of me
1473
00:58:02,707 --> 00:58:04,397
when I have been here
1474
00:58:04,397 --> 00:58:05,480
just as long?
1475
00:58:06,489 --> 00:58:07,322
- It's like having one of those
1476
00:58:07,322 --> 00:58:09,288
smart outsource people local.
1477
00:58:09,288 --> 00:58:10,749
- Really?
1478
00:58:10,749 --> 00:58:13,555
- Plus, your poly wasn't great either.
1479
00:58:15,476 --> 00:58:16,309
- Okay.
1480
00:58:16,309 --> 00:58:17,779
A fake poly.
1481
00:58:17,779 --> 00:58:21,528
- Yes, but your answers
were still suspect.
1482
00:58:21,528 --> 00:58:22,803
Corp Sec talked to Carla
1483
00:58:22,803 --> 00:58:24,957
and their audit's corroborated.
1484
00:58:24,957 --> 00:58:26,124
- What audits?
1485
00:58:27,922 --> 00:58:30,173
- Well, that you access
other people's information
1486
00:58:30,173 --> 00:58:32,173
without proper protocol.
1487
00:58:33,085 --> 00:58:34,855
- No, what information.
1488
00:58:34,855 --> 00:58:36,813
- Like other people's inboxes.
1489
00:58:36,813 --> 00:58:39,715
- Damn, you told me to do that.
1490
00:58:39,715 --> 00:58:41,162
- It's part of your screening,
1491
00:58:41,162 --> 00:58:42,499
for the position.
1492
00:58:42,499 --> 00:58:43,491
- Bullshit.
1493
00:58:43,491 --> 00:58:44,324
- Careful.
1494
00:58:46,365 --> 00:58:48,948
- I don't fucking believe this.
1495
00:58:50,595 --> 00:58:52,605
What do you know about our contract?
1496
00:58:52,605 --> 00:58:54,797
- They may renew it.
1497
00:58:54,797 --> 00:58:55,960
- Oh, they may
1498
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,483
renew it?
1499
00:58:57,483 --> 00:58:59,099
- Maybe.
1500
00:58:59,099 --> 00:59:00,280
Is that better?
1501
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:01,299
- Alright, all this
1502
00:59:01,299 --> 00:59:03,032
is bullshit.
1503
00:59:03,032 --> 00:59:03,865
- You know,
1504
00:59:03,865 --> 00:59:06,176
we could argue this all
the way up the food chain,
1505
00:59:06,176 --> 00:59:07,957
or you might want to chock this up to
1506
00:59:07,957 --> 00:59:09,624
try again next time.
1507
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:12,125
But if you burn a bridge,
1508
00:59:12,125 --> 00:59:15,528
there definitely won't be a contract.
1509
00:59:15,528 --> 00:59:16,824
- We take it to the top,
1510
00:59:16,824 --> 00:59:18,061
it's your word
1511
00:59:18,061 --> 00:59:19,144
against mine.
1512
00:59:20,352 --> 00:59:22,935
- Do you really want to battle?
1513
00:59:23,982 --> 00:59:25,732
Besides, you like me.
1514
00:59:26,703 --> 00:59:28,856
You gawk at my ass.
1515
00:59:28,856 --> 00:59:29,689
- Yeah.
1516
00:59:31,027 --> 00:59:34,168
I just didn't think it'd
actually shit on me.
1517
00:59:34,168 --> 00:59:35,085
- Cheer up.
1518
00:59:36,408 --> 00:59:39,825
I'll make it up to you one of these days.
1519
00:59:49,133 --> 00:59:49,966
- No, no.
1520
00:59:52,739 --> 00:59:55,933
No, you make it up to me today.
1521
00:59:55,933 --> 00:59:56,766
- Okay.
1522
00:59:58,115 --> 01:00:00,531
How about a juicy steak from Morton's.
1523
01:00:00,531 --> 01:00:03,603
And a mocha frappuccio from Starbucks.
1524
01:00:03,603 --> 01:00:04,701
You like those.
1525
01:00:04,701 --> 01:00:06,787
And a friendly hug
1526
01:00:06,787 --> 01:00:09,987
that lasts up to but
not beyond 10 seconds.
1527
01:00:09,987 --> 01:00:12,200
- Okay, how about we
skip all of that bullshit
1528
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:13,853
and you literally provide me
1529
01:00:13,853 --> 01:00:15,075
with your part
1530
01:00:15,075 --> 01:00:17,492
of the tit for tat agreement.
1531
01:00:21,483 --> 01:00:22,983
- You little perv.
1532
01:00:24,090 --> 01:00:25,286
Are you serious?
1533
01:00:25,286 --> 01:00:27,036
- You bet your balls.
1534
01:00:28,306 --> 01:00:29,312
- For how long?
1535
01:00:29,312 --> 01:00:32,229
- I don't know, mere seconds.
1536
01:00:32,229 --> 01:00:33,488
I mean my phone's in my pocket so,
1537
01:00:33,488 --> 01:00:34,849
no sneaky pics.
1538
01:00:34,849 --> 01:00:37,770
- I think I'd rather keep my dignity
1539
01:00:37,770 --> 01:00:40,069
and just sit with you at Starbucks.
1540
01:00:40,069 --> 01:00:41,409
- Ah, sit with me at Starbucks, okay.
1541
01:00:41,409 --> 01:00:43,508
Well you'd be surprised at
how much of your dignity
1542
01:00:43,508 --> 01:00:47,091
you can loose by just
sitting at Starbucks.
1543
01:00:49,904 --> 01:00:51,392
You can think about this as
1544
01:00:51,392 --> 01:00:53,475
my parting severance pay.
1545
01:00:56,210 --> 01:00:57,043
- Fine.
1546
01:00:59,754 --> 01:01:02,096
But this fulfills my obligation.
1547
01:01:02,096 --> 01:01:02,929
- Fine.
1548
01:01:04,334 --> 01:01:06,757
You can stay seated.
1549
01:01:06,757 --> 01:01:08,924
I can see right from here.
1550
01:01:24,554 --> 01:01:25,797
- Son of a bitch man,
1551
01:01:25,797 --> 01:01:27,237
you're too quick.
1552
01:01:27,237 --> 01:01:28,904
- You didn't get it?
1553
01:01:31,674 --> 01:01:33,056
- Psych.
1554
01:01:33,056 --> 01:01:35,720
I remoted in her cam before
you were even in her office.
1555
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:37,818
- Oh my god you majestic pink wookie.
1556
01:01:37,818 --> 01:01:39,461
- Woo.
1557
01:01:39,461 --> 01:01:41,802
- Oh, look at your faces.
1558
01:01:41,802 --> 01:01:43,802
You guys need to stop
watching so much porn at work.
1559
01:01:43,802 --> 01:01:46,962
- Oh, we've never looked at porn at work.
1560
01:01:46,962 --> 01:01:48,129
- Come on man.
1561
01:01:49,722 --> 01:01:51,122
- Well anyway.
1562
01:01:51,122 --> 01:01:52,506
I just came to tell you, Dan,
1563
01:01:52,506 --> 01:01:54,125
that I managed to get most of your work
1564
01:01:54,125 --> 01:01:55,125
on the project reassigned.
1565
01:01:55,125 --> 01:01:56,368
- Okay, um,
1566
01:01:56,368 --> 01:01:58,701
yeah, quick part about that.
1567
01:02:00,444 --> 01:02:02,684
I didn't get the job.
1568
01:02:02,684 --> 01:02:03,697
So.
1569
01:02:03,697 --> 01:02:05,198
- Oh.
1570
01:02:05,198 --> 01:02:06,560
- Anyways.
1571
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:09,949
- Well, I still reassigned
most of your work.
1572
01:02:09,949 --> 01:02:11,290
- Okay.
1573
01:02:11,290 --> 01:02:14,186
So what do you want me to do?
1574
01:02:14,186 --> 01:02:15,770
- I don't know.
1575
01:02:15,770 --> 01:02:17,973
I could give you some work
on my next project maybe.
1576
01:02:17,973 --> 01:02:20,015
- But if I'm not working now?
1577
01:02:20,015 --> 01:02:21,855
- Maybe you shouldn't have
tried to find another job.
1578
01:02:21,855 --> 01:02:22,772
- The fuck?
1579
01:02:23,653 --> 01:02:24,655
That's not fair.
1580
01:02:24,655 --> 01:02:26,048
- Oh, really.
1581
01:02:26,048 --> 01:02:27,114
This is coming from the man
1582
01:02:27,114 --> 01:02:28,655
who invented the rape card.
1583
01:02:28,655 --> 01:02:29,711
Oh no, no,
1584
01:02:29,711 --> 01:02:31,317
the vajayjay voucher,
1585
01:02:31,317 --> 01:02:32,394
get into vajayjay voucher.
1586
01:02:32,394 --> 01:02:34,095
You really want to talk about what's fair?
1587
01:02:34,095 --> 01:02:35,839
Yeah Dan, I heard about
your stupid little fantasy.
1588
01:02:35,839 --> 01:02:37,141
- Okay, it's not rape.
1589
01:02:37,141 --> 01:02:38,778
It's merely a voucher
1590
01:02:38,778 --> 01:02:40,100
that would legally,
1591
01:02:40,100 --> 01:02:41,621
it's legally obligate the woman.
1592
01:02:41,621 --> 01:02:42,639
- What?
1593
01:02:42,639 --> 01:02:43,637
You sound like a congressman.
1594
01:02:43,637 --> 01:02:45,039
- To be fair, it's just one rape.
1595
01:02:45,039 --> 01:02:46,694
You only get one rape.
1596
01:02:46,694 --> 01:02:47,692
- Oh great.
1597
01:02:47,692 --> 01:02:48,735
- It's not rape
1598
01:02:48,735 --> 01:02:50,157
- Great.
1599
01:02:50,157 --> 01:02:51,554
It's just one rape.
1600
01:02:51,554 --> 01:02:52,559
- It's not rape.
1601
01:02:52,559 --> 01:02:53,557
- And who's gonna be the lucky recipient
1602
01:02:53,557 --> 01:02:54,639
of your voucher?
1603
01:02:54,639 --> 01:02:55,637
Oh, no, no, no,
1604
01:02:55,637 --> 01:02:56,639
let me guess,
1605
01:02:56,639 --> 01:02:57,637
Kathy?
1606
01:02:57,637 --> 01:02:58,639
- Oh.
1607
01:02:58,639 --> 01:02:59,637
- Yeah, that manipulative bitch
1608
01:02:59,637 --> 01:03:00,837
wouldn't let you within 20 miles
1609
01:03:00,837 --> 01:03:01,935
of her nether regions.
1610
01:03:01,935 --> 01:03:03,637
- Her northern hills
aren't so restrictive.
1611
01:03:03,637 --> 01:03:05,855
- Who said anything about Kathy?
1612
01:03:05,855 --> 01:03:07,615
- And how would you feel anyway
1613
01:03:07,615 --> 01:03:08,618
if it was reversed?
1614
01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:09,679
Like what if I had
1615
01:03:09,679 --> 01:03:11,474
a get dick card or something
1616
01:03:11,474 --> 01:03:12,778
and all I had to do
1617
01:03:12,778 --> 01:03:14,033
is show it to some guy,
1618
01:03:14,033 --> 01:03:15,615
and he's obligated to do me.
1619
01:03:15,615 --> 01:03:16,735
- Yeah, that's a great idea.
1620
01:03:16,735 --> 01:03:17,738
That would totally work.
1621
01:03:17,738 --> 01:03:18,735
Get dick card.
1622
01:03:18,735 --> 01:03:20,537
- Yeah, no, you don't need one of those.
1623
01:03:20,537 --> 01:03:21,925
You have boobs, so it's all good.
1624
01:03:21,925 --> 01:03:23,066
- I'm sorry,
1625
01:03:23,066 --> 01:03:24,069
hold on.
1626
01:03:24,069 --> 01:03:25,066
What does any of this have to do with me
1627
01:03:25,066 --> 01:03:26,106
trying to improve my job status?
1628
01:03:26,106 --> 01:03:26,939
- It's--
1629
01:03:29,356 --> 01:03:30,362
- Maybe I did what I did because
1630
01:03:30,362 --> 01:03:31,487
nobody else in this office
is looking out for my career.
1631
01:03:31,487 --> 01:03:33,567
- Oh, what is that supposed to mean?
1632
01:03:33,567 --> 01:03:35,165
- It means that you like
to keep me like a prisoner
1633
01:03:35,165 --> 01:03:36,248
in isolation.
1634
01:03:39,743 --> 01:03:42,501
You know that I do good work.
1635
01:03:42,501 --> 01:03:44,061
If you don't want me to branch out
1636
01:03:44,061 --> 01:03:45,420
for fear that someone is just gonna
1637
01:03:45,420 --> 01:03:48,087
poach on your precious resource.
1638
01:03:50,077 --> 01:03:51,082
- If you want to see other people,
1639
01:03:51,082 --> 01:03:52,261
you can just say it.
1640
01:03:52,261 --> 01:03:54,463
- Ah, yeah, I did.
1641
01:03:54,463 --> 01:03:56,202
That's what this morning was all about.
1642
01:03:56,202 --> 01:03:58,421
Seeing what's on the other side.
1643
01:03:58,421 --> 01:04:00,238
- And now you just expect
us all to welcome you back
1644
01:04:00,238 --> 01:04:01,488
with open arms?
1645
01:04:16,062 --> 01:04:17,143
- Dude, you've been looking
at Facebook for like
1646
01:04:17,143 --> 01:04:18,060
20 minutes.
1647
01:04:19,866 --> 01:04:21,366
You hate Facebook.
1648
01:04:25,573 --> 01:04:27,189
All you're doing is looking
at pictures of Vera.
1649
01:04:27,189 --> 01:04:30,022
Why don't you just go talk to her.
1650
01:04:34,442 --> 01:04:35,525
What's wrong?
1651
01:04:39,888 --> 01:04:40,721
- Nothing.
1652
01:04:43,349 --> 01:04:45,267
No, I'm happy, really.
1653
01:04:45,267 --> 01:04:49,061
I'm about to have all
day to do what I want.
1654
01:04:49,061 --> 01:04:50,501
- That again?
1655
01:04:50,501 --> 01:04:52,064
Dude, they're gonna renew
your contract, okay.
1656
01:04:52,064 --> 01:04:53,941
But if you hate it here so much,
1657
01:04:53,941 --> 01:04:55,685
why don't you just quit?
1658
01:04:55,685 --> 01:04:58,318
- Cause I'd have to go find another job.
1659
01:04:58,318 --> 01:04:59,398
- So.
1660
01:04:59,398 --> 01:05:00,818
You're a techie.
1661
01:05:00,818 --> 01:05:02,318
The market's good.
1662
01:05:03,424 --> 01:05:04,523
- I think I proved today
1663
01:05:04,523 --> 01:05:06,856
that I don't interview well.
1664
01:05:07,963 --> 01:05:10,083
- Look man, it's not a
Miss America Q and A, okay.
1665
01:05:10,083 --> 01:05:12,507
They're gonna ask you if
you know how to configure
1666
01:05:12,507 --> 01:05:14,165
a cloud and they're
gonna stick you in a room
1667
01:05:14,165 --> 01:05:15,163
with a bunch of douchebags
1668
01:05:15,163 --> 01:05:17,163
that look just like you.
1669
01:05:18,824 --> 01:05:20,123
Look, I thought you stayed here
1670
01:05:20,123 --> 01:05:21,904
because you are comfortable,
1671
01:05:21,904 --> 01:05:23,083
a lifer,
1672
01:05:23,083 --> 01:05:24,107
but today,
1673
01:05:24,107 --> 01:05:26,885
I saw you go for something.
1674
01:05:26,885 --> 01:05:29,067
There's hope for you.
1675
01:05:29,067 --> 01:05:30,064
- It doesn't matter.
1676
01:05:30,064 --> 01:05:31,483
Vera's gonna make my life a living hell
1677
01:05:31,483 --> 01:05:32,549
if I stay on this floor.
1678
01:05:32,549 --> 01:05:33,568
- Just go talk to her man.
1679
01:05:33,568 --> 01:05:35,653
She doesn't care about you and your job.
1680
01:05:35,653 --> 01:05:37,825
She cares about you and Kathy.
1681
01:05:37,825 --> 01:05:39,509
- There is no me and Kathy.
1682
01:05:39,509 --> 01:05:40,744
- There sure as shit isn't any more.
1683
01:05:40,744 --> 01:05:43,661
But you know you were going for it.
1684
01:05:44,965 --> 01:05:46,704
You stay with Vera because she's a nice,
1685
01:05:46,704 --> 01:05:48,347
reliable Toyota, okay.
1686
01:05:48,347 --> 01:05:50,083
You wanted to go for a spin
1687
01:05:50,083 --> 01:05:51,416
in the Mercedes.
1688
01:05:53,232 --> 01:05:54,075
If your settling for Vera,
1689
01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:57,111
then you need to let her go.
1690
01:05:57,111 --> 01:05:59,317
It's not fair to treat her like that.
1691
01:06:13,835 --> 01:06:14,668
- Yo.
1692
01:06:15,909 --> 01:06:19,159
Want to grab nine holes and some brews?
1693
01:06:20,205 --> 01:06:21,467
- What?
1694
01:06:21,467 --> 01:06:22,731
- You know, tee time at four,
1695
01:06:22,731 --> 01:06:23,829
happy hour at six.
1696
01:06:23,829 --> 01:06:25,627
- Yeah, cause I'm not FTE,
1697
01:06:25,627 --> 01:06:28,331
I can't leave early, yay.
1698
01:06:28,331 --> 01:06:29,568
- Okay, okay, we get it.
1699
01:06:29,568 --> 01:06:30,629
We get it.
1700
01:06:30,629 --> 01:06:31,691
You're mad at us,
1701
01:06:31,691 --> 01:06:32,672
but you got to admit,
1702
01:06:32,672 --> 01:06:34,069
that fake poly thing was funny as shit.
1703
01:06:34,069 --> 01:06:35,072
You know Carla and I,
1704
01:06:35,072 --> 01:06:36,128
we go way back.
1705
01:06:36,128 --> 01:06:37,128
She had fun.
1706
01:06:38,351 --> 01:06:39,989
Peewee Herman ain't got nothing on you.
1707
01:06:39,989 --> 01:06:41,189
- Enough.
1708
01:06:41,189 --> 01:06:42,192
Enough guys.
1709
01:06:42,192 --> 01:06:43,189
I mean you guys had your fun.
1710
01:06:43,189 --> 01:06:44,171
- Oh, come on man.
1711
01:06:44,171 --> 01:06:45,173
No hard feelings.
1712
01:06:45,173 --> 01:06:46,271
- You know, this is bullying.
1713
01:06:46,271 --> 01:06:48,955
I could report you guys to HR.
1714
01:06:48,955 --> 01:06:50,117
- HR, HR.
1715
01:06:50,117 --> 01:06:51,573
Remind me,
1716
01:06:51,573 --> 01:06:53,157
is HR one of the
1717
01:06:53,157 --> 01:06:54,176
parts of the building
1718
01:06:54,176 --> 01:06:55,452
where you yanked your meat?
1719
01:06:55,452 --> 01:06:56,715
- You know, because of your little prank,
1720
01:06:56,715 --> 01:06:58,656
no project manager in their right mind
1721
01:06:58,656 --> 01:07:01,557
is going to put me on their team now.
1722
01:07:01,557 --> 01:07:03,890
- See, I didn't realize we
were playing for the Dolphins.
1723
01:07:03,890 --> 01:07:05,877
You know, talk to your coach about it.
1724
01:07:05,877 --> 01:07:06,875
- Yeah, I might.
1725
01:07:06,875 --> 01:07:08,597
- I'm sure she'll take great care of you.
1726
01:07:08,597 --> 01:07:12,741
- Okay, I actually have no
idea what you're talking about.
1727
01:07:12,741 --> 01:07:13,824
- Your coach.
1728
01:07:15,099 --> 01:07:16,101
- Who?
1729
01:07:16,101 --> 01:07:17,099
- Vera.
1730
01:07:17,099 --> 01:07:18,101
- What are you guys talking about?
1731
01:07:18,101 --> 01:07:19,099
- She's your supervisor.
1732
01:07:19,099 --> 01:07:20,516
- No, she is not.
1733
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:25,787
- Look, you wanted to work for Kathy.
1734
01:07:25,787 --> 01:07:27,403
I get it, she's got great tits.
1735
01:07:27,403 --> 01:07:29,061
But would you trust her?
1736
01:07:29,061 --> 01:07:29,894
Exactly.
1737
01:07:31,365 --> 01:07:33,605
Vera, she's got nothing but
good things to say about you.
1738
01:07:33,605 --> 01:07:35,841
I've seen her defend your ass
1739
01:07:35,841 --> 01:07:38,507
when you're not even around.
1740
01:07:38,507 --> 01:07:40,368
She really cares about you man.
1741
01:07:40,368 --> 01:07:41,368
That's rare.
1742
01:07:42,768 --> 01:07:43,813
Besides, you must be doing something
1743
01:07:43,813 --> 01:07:44,870
to get that kind of treatment.
1744
01:07:44,870 --> 01:07:46,011
Uh huh.
1745
01:07:46,011 --> 01:07:47,093
You know what I'm saying?
1746
01:07:47,093 --> 01:07:49,856
I know you wanted to be FTE like us,
1747
01:07:49,856 --> 01:07:53,395
but really, it's all of the bullshit
1748
01:07:53,395 --> 01:07:55,616
with even more bureaucracy.
1749
01:07:55,616 --> 01:07:58,236
We've even got our own Gabe.
1750
01:07:58,236 --> 01:08:00,500
- Hey, did you see the Game
of Thrones episode last night?
1751
01:08:00,500 --> 01:08:03,061
- Yeah, I don't really watch that show
1752
01:08:03,061 --> 01:08:05,478
with all the houses and shit.
1753
01:08:07,382 --> 01:08:09,159
- I'll break it down
1754
01:08:09,159 --> 01:08:10,659
so you can get it.
1755
01:08:12,956 --> 01:08:16,206
We'll start with the mother of dragons.
1756
01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:19,052
- Yeah.
1757
01:08:21,260 --> 01:08:22,881
If it makes you feel any better,
1758
01:08:22,881 --> 01:08:26,737
we just heard that they'll renew you guys.
1759
01:08:26,737 --> 01:08:29,237
You keep the lights on for us.
1760
01:08:30,263 --> 01:08:32,241
You want me on your wall.
1761
01:08:32,241 --> 01:08:34,324
You need me on that wall.
1762
01:08:38,444 --> 01:08:39,481
Yeah.
1763
01:08:39,481 --> 01:08:42,465
- I'd rather you just say thank you.
1764
01:08:42,465 --> 01:08:43,298
- Bam.
1765
01:08:45,484 --> 01:08:47,031
But don't you go thinking
that we're peers now
1766
01:08:47,031 --> 01:08:48,606
or nothing, okay.
1767
01:08:48,606 --> 01:08:49,607
- What?
1768
01:08:49,607 --> 01:08:51,431
- We get to go golfing now.
1769
01:08:51,431 --> 01:08:53,628
- Yeah, and you guys just invited me.
1770
01:08:53,628 --> 01:08:54,711
- Oh, oh, no.
1771
01:08:57,508 --> 01:08:58,807
Why, it's not,
1772
01:08:58,807 --> 01:09:01,390
it's not even five o'clock yet.
1773
01:09:02,529 --> 01:09:03,527
Damn.
1774
01:09:03,527 --> 01:09:05,304
Sucks for you.
1775
01:09:05,304 --> 01:09:06,305
What was I thinking?
1776
01:09:06,305 --> 01:09:08,183
Later techie.
1777
01:09:08,183 --> 01:09:09,181
But hang in there,
1778
01:09:09,181 --> 01:09:11,249
and something will open up soon.
1779
01:09:11,249 --> 01:09:12,247
- Yeah.
1780
01:09:12,247 --> 01:09:15,465
Yeah, maybe one day I'll
be just as lucky as Randy.
1781
01:09:15,465 --> 01:09:16,548
- That Randy.
1782
01:09:26,449 --> 01:09:29,009
- Randy has loose lips.
1783
01:09:29,009 --> 01:09:30,689
He already told Vera about
your little meeting with Kathy
1784
01:09:30,689 --> 01:09:34,022
and did Raj a solid by recommending him.
1785
01:10:10,571 --> 01:10:12,238
- Yo, what's up man?
1786
01:10:14,951 --> 01:10:16,151
Yo man, let's go.
1787
01:10:16,151 --> 01:10:17,318
Get some food.
1788
01:10:18,449 --> 01:10:19,532
Me so hungry.
1789
01:10:22,989 --> 01:10:26,239
That is an unnecessarily menacing look.
1790
01:10:29,790 --> 01:10:32,287
- Why did you tell Vera
1791
01:10:32,287 --> 01:10:35,120
about my job interview with Kathy?
1792
01:10:36,890 --> 01:10:38,473
- I didn't do that.
1793
01:10:42,833 --> 01:10:44,332
- Please don't do that again.
1794
01:10:44,332 --> 01:10:45,165
- Why
1795
01:10:46,012 --> 01:10:49,132
did you tell Kathy to hire Raj
1796
01:10:49,132 --> 01:10:50,299
instead of me?
1797
01:10:53,351 --> 01:10:54,343
- That's not what happened.
1798
01:10:54,343 --> 01:10:57,176
that's not how it happened at all.
1799
01:10:59,367 --> 01:11:01,404
I don't understand your aggression.
1800
01:11:01,404 --> 01:11:03,047
- Why Randy?
1801
01:11:03,047 --> 01:11:05,185
- It's cause I didn't want you
to move to Kathy's floor man.
1802
01:11:05,185 --> 01:11:09,352
We wouldn't be able to
hang out as much and stuff.
1803
01:11:14,347 --> 01:11:16,412
- You son of a bitch.
1804
01:11:16,412 --> 01:11:18,332
- Oh fuck.
1805
01:11:21,068 --> 01:11:22,092
- Why are you always
1806
01:11:22,092 --> 01:11:23,052
try to extinguish
1807
01:11:23,052 --> 01:11:25,867
my plans to do anything?
1808
01:11:34,327 --> 01:11:37,994
♫ Eyes, those searing eyes
1809
01:11:40,529 --> 01:11:43,329
♫ That tear us apart
1810
01:11:43,329 --> 01:11:45,912
♫ Limb by limb
1811
01:11:47,009 --> 01:11:51,176
♫ And thighs, those slender thighs
1812
01:11:53,687 --> 01:11:57,854
♫ Wrapped so tightly around
what they expect to win
1813
01:12:00,848 --> 01:12:04,732
♫ And though the time has gone
1814
01:12:04,732 --> 01:12:08,311
♫ You know you can't be wrong
1815
01:12:08,311 --> 01:12:10,845
- You're making me do this.
1816
01:12:10,845 --> 01:12:12,928
You're making me do this.
1817
01:12:16,946 --> 01:12:19,345
You brought this on yourself.
1818
01:12:19,345 --> 01:12:21,178
- Oh, god, fuck Randy.
1819
01:12:23,111 --> 01:12:25,048
Shit, what the fuck did
you spray in my eyes Randy?
1820
01:12:25,048 --> 01:12:27,465
- It's just breath spray man,
1821
01:12:28,418 --> 01:12:29,741
spearmint.
1822
01:12:29,741 --> 01:12:30,857
It's sugarfree.
1823
01:12:30,857 --> 01:12:31,978
You'll be okay.
1824
01:12:31,978 --> 01:12:32,811
- God.
1825
01:12:36,029 --> 01:12:37,837
I don't understand man.
1826
01:12:37,837 --> 01:12:38,813
- I smoke cigarettes man.
1827
01:12:38,813 --> 01:12:40,833
You got to keep it fresh.
1828
01:12:40,833 --> 01:12:44,514
- I don't understand what
the hell got into you.
1829
01:12:44,514 --> 01:12:46,787
- I'm doing you a favor man.
1830
01:12:46,787 --> 01:12:47,620
- A favor?
1831
01:12:48,605 --> 01:12:49,438
- Yeah.
1832
01:12:54,672 --> 01:12:57,589
- I don't want you to be stuck man.
1833
01:12:58,449 --> 01:13:00,666
- Well what if I want that?
1834
01:13:00,666 --> 01:13:01,666
- You don't.
1835
01:13:05,246 --> 01:13:08,246
- Why are you okay with being stuck?
1836
01:13:10,068 --> 01:13:14,068
- I guess you just kind
of accept it eventually.
1837
01:13:15,107 --> 01:13:18,524
I'm a generic person in an error message.
1838
01:13:21,032 --> 01:13:23,087
File not found.
1839
01:13:23,087 --> 01:13:25,709
Contact your systems administrator.
1840
01:13:25,709 --> 01:13:27,709
- But you're good at it.
1841
01:13:32,025 --> 01:13:33,533
- Remember that time we
told them it'd take us
1842
01:13:33,533 --> 01:13:36,616
two days to migrate those accounts.
1843
01:13:36,616 --> 01:13:39,366
- We wrote a script in two hours.
1844
01:13:40,338 --> 01:13:41,976
Played World of Warcraft for the rest
1845
01:13:41,976 --> 01:13:42,809
of the 46.
1846
01:13:44,237 --> 01:13:47,026
- We're good at our jobs man.
1847
01:13:47,026 --> 01:13:49,374
- Yeah, we're good at avoiding hard work.
1848
01:13:49,374 --> 01:13:50,207
- Exactly.
1849
01:13:53,082 --> 01:13:56,024
So maybe you don't hate your job so much.
1850
01:13:56,024 --> 01:13:57,024
- It's just,
1851
01:13:58,020 --> 01:13:59,981
it's just lacking.
1852
01:13:59,981 --> 01:14:03,160
- What's lacking is your social life man.
1853
01:14:03,160 --> 01:14:06,061
Why didn't you go golfing
with Jake and Rob?
1854
01:14:06,061 --> 01:14:07,538
- I don't know how to play golf.
1855
01:14:07,538 --> 01:14:09,121
- Who gives a shit?
1856
01:14:09,960 --> 01:14:12,210
See you miss the point man.
1857
01:14:13,150 --> 01:14:14,477
It's not about
1858
01:14:14,477 --> 01:14:17,682
doing what comes easy all the time,
1859
01:14:17,682 --> 01:14:20,418
doing what's comfortable doing.
1860
01:14:20,418 --> 01:14:22,141
It's about trying new things.
1861
01:14:22,141 --> 01:14:24,503
It's about getting out there.
1862
01:14:24,503 --> 01:14:28,336
It's about doing what
makes you uncomfortable.
1863
01:14:30,002 --> 01:14:31,666
It's like having a girlfriend man.
1864
01:14:31,666 --> 01:14:34,385
Do a whole bunch of shit
you don't want to do,
1865
01:14:34,385 --> 01:14:36,218
but you do it for her.
1866
01:14:40,685 --> 01:14:43,518
- I'm sorry I hit you in the nuts.
1867
01:14:45,022 --> 01:14:46,904
- It's okay buddy.
1868
01:14:46,904 --> 01:14:48,404
I'll get you back.
1869
01:14:55,528 --> 01:14:56,361
- Fuck.
1870
01:15:05,472 --> 01:15:07,197
- I'll do weekends.
1871
01:15:07,197 --> 01:15:08,030
- What?
1872
01:15:09,357 --> 01:15:12,776
- Well you need somebody
to do weekends, right.
1873
01:15:12,776 --> 01:15:13,938
- Yeah, but.
1874
01:15:13,938 --> 01:15:15,521
- So, I'll do them.
1875
01:15:17,656 --> 01:15:19,412
You know, for the team.
1876
01:15:19,412 --> 01:15:20,456
- Okay.
1877
01:15:20,456 --> 01:15:21,289
Fine.
1878
01:15:26,861 --> 01:15:28,994
- So you want dinner?
1879
01:15:28,994 --> 01:15:30,489
- Just dinner?
1880
01:15:30,489 --> 01:15:32,760
I think you owe me so much
more than just dinner.
1881
01:15:32,760 --> 01:15:34,162
- Oh, okay.
1882
01:15:34,162 --> 01:15:37,160
So, what did you have in mind?
1883
01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:40,196
- Well, I do have a
few vouchers of my own.
1884
01:15:40,196 --> 01:15:41,602
- Oh, really?
1885
01:15:41,602 --> 01:15:42,786
- I think we'll get started
1886
01:15:42,786 --> 01:15:44,168
with a go fuck yourself voucher.
1887
01:15:44,168 --> 01:15:45,186
- Okay,
1888
01:15:45,186 --> 01:15:47,106
- Followed by a carry my
purse around the mall voucher.
1889
01:15:47,106 --> 01:15:47,939
- Yeah.
1890
01:15:48,850 --> 01:15:50,008
Yeah, I deserve that.
1891
01:15:50,008 --> 01:15:51,675
So what do you want?
1892
01:15:52,745 --> 01:15:54,207
It's my treat.
1893
01:15:54,207 --> 01:15:55,040
- Sushi.
1894
01:15:59,384 --> 01:16:00,217
- Okay.
1895
01:16:01,165 --> 01:16:02,168
Well, we'll hit the pharmacy,
1896
01:16:02,168 --> 01:16:04,360
see what they have for high
mercury levels and salmonella.
1897
01:16:04,360 --> 01:16:05,928
- I also have an entire bag
1898
01:16:05,928 --> 01:16:07,528
that's full of no sarcasm vouchers.
1899
01:16:07,528 --> 01:16:08,546
- Okay.
1900
01:16:08,546 --> 01:16:09,786
But I think we really do
need to hit the pharmacy.
1901
01:16:09,786 --> 01:16:11,149
- Okay.
1902
01:16:11,149 --> 01:16:12,445
- I think the insides
of my eyes are bleeding.
1903
01:16:12,445 --> 01:16:15,373
- Okay, then we should
probably do that first.
1904
01:16:15,373 --> 01:16:16,770
- Yeah.
- Alright, let's go.
1905
01:16:26,610 --> 01:16:28,210
So, did you hear?
1906
01:16:28,210 --> 01:16:29,043
- What?
1907
01:16:30,472 --> 01:16:32,130
- They renewed our contract.
1908
01:16:32,130 --> 01:16:33,453
- Yeah.
1909
01:16:33,453 --> 01:16:36,573
- We're essential, you moron.
1910
01:16:36,573 --> 01:16:37,823
- Yeah, I know.
1911
01:16:38,696 --> 01:16:40,113
- No, you didn't.
1912
01:16:41,794 --> 01:16:43,037
- No, I had no idea.
1913
01:16:43,037 --> 01:16:44,594
- You're such a dumbass.
1914
01:16:44,594 --> 01:16:45,427
- Yeah.
1915
01:16:47,298 --> 01:16:48,965
- And I'm essential.
1916
01:16:50,157 --> 01:16:51,452
- Whatever.
1917
01:16:51,452 --> 01:16:52,634
It just means you have to come in
1918
01:16:52,634 --> 01:16:55,967
and make sure everyone's shit's working.
1919
01:17:03,945 --> 01:17:05,028
- Oh god, oh.
1920
01:17:06,509 --> 01:17:07,592
Oh, you shit.
1921
01:17:14,365 --> 01:17:15,368
- Hey guys.
1922
01:17:15,368 --> 01:17:16,365
- What's up Freddy?
1923
01:17:16,365 --> 01:17:17,405
- Hey, I just wanted to
say thanks for everything.
1924
01:17:17,405 --> 01:17:19,624
I'm about to head over to HR.
1925
01:17:19,624 --> 01:17:21,965
I got some great news.
1926
01:17:21,965 --> 01:17:25,089
I just won the Jamaican lottery.
1927
01:17:30,237 --> 01:17:32,153
Seven million bucks,
1928
01:17:32,153 --> 01:17:34,579
and a new Mercedes Benz.
1929
01:17:39,573 --> 01:17:41,336
It's weird, because first they said
1930
01:17:41,336 --> 01:17:45,736
it's a prize and then they
say it's in inheritance, so.
1931
01:17:45,736 --> 01:17:46,739
It's a little strange,
1932
01:17:46,739 --> 01:17:48,797
but seven million bucks, man.
1933
01:17:48,797 --> 01:17:49,837
- So it's just a Jamaican typo.
1934
01:17:55,379 --> 01:17:56,600
- I just wanted to thank
you guys for everything
1935
01:17:56,600 --> 01:18:00,419
before I tell HR to kiss my black ass.
1936
01:18:06,380 --> 01:18:07,581
- Does the email perhaps ask for
1937
01:18:07,581 --> 01:18:09,664
any personal information?
1938
01:18:10,723 --> 01:18:11,715
- It did.
1939
01:18:11,715 --> 01:18:13,011
I gave them my
1940
01:18:13,011 --> 01:18:15,428
information and sent a check.
1941
01:18:20,169 --> 01:18:22,570
Yeah, I think this one's legit
1942
01:18:22,570 --> 01:18:24,370
cause it's on my iPhone.
1943
01:18:24,370 --> 01:18:25,474
You can read it.
1944
01:18:30,871 --> 01:18:31,874
See, it's--
1945
01:18:31,874 --> 01:18:32,707
- Yeah.
1946
01:18:34,893 --> 01:18:37,226
They spelled Mercedes wrong.
1947
01:18:43,213 --> 01:18:44,573
Why don't you wait til the check comes
1948
01:18:44,573 --> 01:18:46,482
before you quit your job.
1949
01:18:46,482 --> 01:18:47,982
What do you think?
1950
01:18:50,173 --> 01:18:51,794
- Should I wait?
1951
01:18:51,794 --> 01:18:53,152
- Yeah, just wait.
1952
01:18:53,152 --> 01:18:54,374
- We'll keep it a surprise.
1953
01:18:54,374 --> 01:18:55,415
- Yeah, we won't tell anyone.
1954
01:18:55,415 --> 01:18:56,890
We'll throw you a big going
away party and everything.
1955
01:18:56,890 --> 01:18:57,723
- Okay.
1956
01:18:59,472 --> 01:19:00,471
Thanks guys.
1957
01:19:00,471 --> 01:19:02,221
- No leave that here.
1958
01:19:05,954 --> 01:19:06,787
- Thanks.
1959
01:19:09,954 --> 01:19:11,169
- We'll get him a new laptop.
1960
01:19:11,169 --> 01:19:13,336
This one smells like shit.
1961
01:19:14,807 --> 01:19:16,613
Anyway, Jessie Eisenberg.
1962
01:19:16,613 --> 01:19:18,446
Fucking hate that guy.
1963
01:19:23,975 --> 01:19:25,293
- I saw Magic Mike in 3D.
1964
01:19:25,293 --> 01:19:27,960
I don't think that makes me gay.
1965
01:19:28,831 --> 01:19:29,829
I eat,
1966
01:19:29,829 --> 01:19:30,935
I drink bubble tea.
1967
01:19:30,935 --> 01:19:32,631
I put moisturizer on before I go to bed.
1968
01:19:32,631 --> 01:19:34,055
I shop at H&M.
1969
01:19:34,055 --> 01:19:35,373
Cried during the Notebook.
1970
01:19:35,373 --> 01:19:36,591
I shape my eyebrows.
1971
01:19:36,591 --> 01:19:38,205
Saw One Direction live.
1972
01:19:38,205 --> 01:19:39,572
I own a Dirty Dancing poster.
1973
01:19:39,572 --> 01:19:41,771
I own on bluray and DVD.
1974
01:19:41,771 --> 01:19:44,274
I highlighted my copy
of Fifty Shades of Gray.
1975
01:19:44,274 --> 01:19:45,714
I own a glass dildo.
1976
01:19:45,714 --> 01:19:48,390
- Asians Gasians dot com,
1977
01:19:48,390 --> 01:19:49,689
boobies, boobies, boobies, boobies
1978
01:19:49,689 --> 01:19:51,852
boobies, boobies,
boobies, boobies dot org.
1979
01:19:51,852 --> 01:19:54,258
Two girls with one chapstick.
1980
01:19:54,258 --> 01:19:56,637
Hungry, hungry beavers dot com.
1981
01:19:56,637 --> 01:19:58,355
Memoirs of a gasian.
1982
01:19:58,355 --> 01:20:00,573
Asians eating Asians.
1983
01:20:00,573 --> 01:20:02,114
Me cum long time.
1984
01:20:02,114 --> 01:20:03,754
Easy cum easy blow.
1985
01:20:03,754 --> 01:20:05,778
It just keeps going.
1986
01:20:05,778 --> 01:20:08,503
♫ We're all deserving of
the light within our blood
1987
01:20:08,503 --> 01:20:11,670
♫ Come out of hiding
1988
01:20:16,084 --> 01:20:20,251
♫ Come on and shine like
the sun that you are
1989
01:20:22,132 --> 01:20:26,299
♫ Come on and break your fears a
1990
01:20:27,897 --> 01:20:30,814
♫ Break them apart
1991
01:20:36,544 --> 01:20:40,711
♫ I wanna know what drives our world
1992
01:20:41,631 --> 01:20:45,548
♫ I wanna turn the gears below
1993
01:20:47,471 --> 01:20:51,638
♫ Nothing greater than sharin' our mind
1994
01:20:52,969 --> 01:20:57,136
♫ Keep on makin' our own paradigm
1995
01:20:58,351 --> 01:21:01,518
♫ Come out of hiding
1996
01:21:05,172 --> 01:21:09,339
♫ Come on and shine like
the sun that you are
1997
01:21:10,948 --> 01:21:15,115
♫ Come on and break your fears a
1998
01:21:17,012 --> 01:21:20,095
♫ Only to rise above
1999
01:22:00,906 --> 01:22:04,073
♫ Come out of hiding
2000
01:22:05,824 --> 01:22:09,991
♫ Come on and shine like
the sun that you are
2001
01:22:11,543 --> 01:22:15,710
♫ Come on and break your fears a
2002
01:22:18,002 --> 01:22:20,919
♫ Break them apart
123075
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