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1
00:00:01,063 --> 00:00:03,932
Movies in the '80s were really weird.
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00:00:03,999 --> 00:00:06,935
Greed was good, kids were unsupervised,
3
00:00:07,002 --> 00:00:10,005
and the science, questionable at best.
4
00:00:11,588 --> 00:00:13,757
And we all remember having this moment.
5
00:00:13,809 --> 00:00:16,127
You're casually watching
a movie with your parents,
6
00:00:16,174 --> 00:00:19,881
and out of nowhere, nudity.
7
00:00:19,948 --> 00:00:22,284
Now, Rainbow, it's important
we have a conversation
8
00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:23,733
about what's happening right now.
9
00:00:23,772 --> 00:00:27,358
Mm-hmm, movies perpetuate very
unrealistic images of bodies,
10
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,257
particularly women's breasts.
11
00:00:29,324 --> 00:00:32,065
You know, they often change
once you start breastfeeding.
12
00:00:32,128 --> 00:00:33,260
And sometimes just one.
13
00:00:33,323 --> 00:00:34,857
Okay, you explained that.
14
00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,566
Can we get back to the movie?
15
00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:39,669
Of course. I'm glad we shared
this moment together.
16
00:00:39,736 --> 00:00:40,937
Mm-hmm.
17
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:45,099
You know, the reason why we need
to have this conversation
18
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:49,240
is because Hollywood sex scenes
are... are rarely realistic.
19
00:00:49,318 --> 00:00:50,914
That's such a good point, Paul.
20
00:00:50,981 --> 00:00:53,416
For example, you never
see the man taking time
21
00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:56,186
to ask whether his partner's
enjoying themselves.
22
00:00:56,253 --> 00:00:57,420
Oh, that's right.
23
00:00:57,487 --> 00:00:59,889
Communication is very important
24
00:00:59,956 --> 00:01:02,292
for a healthy relationship
between lovers.
25
00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:04,294
Mm-hmm.
26
00:01:04,361 --> 00:01:06,630
Okay, we need to get this back
in 24 hours
27
00:01:06,696 --> 00:01:08,265
or else we have to pay another 5 bucks,
28
00:01:08,331 --> 00:01:10,934
so why don't we just
get back to it, okay?
29
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:12,202
- Of course.
- Mm-hmm.
30
00:01:12,269 --> 00:01:14,070
You know what?
31
00:01:14,137 --> 00:01:15,572
We should talk about contraception.
32
00:01:15,639 --> 00:01:17,807
- Oh, now's a good a time as any.
- Mm-hmm.
33
00:01:17,874 --> 00:01:19,542
- So, it's this little thing...
- Okay.
34
00:01:19,609 --> 00:01:22,946
Nowadays, my parents
would be called sex positive,
35
00:01:23,013 --> 00:01:24,648
but back then, they were called...
36
00:01:24,714 --> 00:01:26,850
Freakin' hippies! What are you doing?
37
00:01:27,951 --> 00:01:30,715
There are naked cans on TV.
38
00:01:31,621 --> 00:01:32,656
? In the mix ?
39
00:01:32,722 --> 00:01:35,125
? Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ?
40
00:01:35,191 --> 00:01:37,494
? But they can't stop us ?
41
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,829
? 'Cause we got a love ?
42
00:01:39,908 --> 00:01:41,876
? That keeps rising up ?
43
00:01:41,964 --> 00:01:43,199
? In the mix ?
44
00:01:43,283 --> 00:01:45,068
? Life turns around ?
45
00:01:45,135 --> 00:01:46,770
? 'Round and 'round it goes ?
46
00:01:46,836 --> 00:01:49,272
? Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ?
? Ooh, it's a mixed-up ?
47
00:01:49,339 --> 00:01:50,974
? And that's for sure ?
? Mixed-up ?
48
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:52,909
? In the mix ?
? Baby ?
49
00:01:52,968 --> 00:01:54,404
? We're gonna get by ?
50
00:01:54,429 --> 00:01:56,846
? We're gonna ?
? On our own, side by side ?
51
00:01:56,913 --> 00:01:59,582
? Love's all we need to be free ?
? Lo-o-o-ve is all ?
52
00:01:59,649 --> 00:02:01,818
? I got you, you got me ?
53
00:02:01,885 --> 00:02:04,120
? Yaaaaay us! ?
54
00:02:04,187 --> 00:02:05,989
? I-I-In the mix ?
55
00:02:06,056 --> 00:02:08,825
? Yaaaaay us! ?
56
00:02:08,892 --> 00:02:11,261
? I-I-In the mix-ish ?
57
00:02:11,370 --> 00:02:12,804
Dad, come on.
58
00:02:12,829 --> 00:02:14,531
We're in the middle of
a sex talk with Rainbow.
59
00:02:14,597 --> 00:02:16,866
Here's all you need. Rainbow,
don't even think about sex
60
00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:18,101
till you're out of college and I'm dead.
61
00:02:18,168 --> 00:02:20,103
Yep, there it is.
Same sex talk he gave me.
62
00:02:20,170 --> 00:02:22,172
Harrison, we're trying
to raise a daughter
63
00:02:22,238 --> 00:02:24,374
who is confident, in control,
64
00:02:24,441 --> 00:02:27,677
and comfortable communicating
anything to us.
65
00:02:27,744 --> 00:02:30,993
The human body is nothing
to be ashamed of.
66
00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:32,449
- Oh.
- Yeah, Dad,
67
00:02:32,515 --> 00:02:34,184
it was just a couple of nipples.
68
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:35,385
Everybody has them.
69
00:02:35,452 --> 00:02:37,454
Rainbow, everybody has them.
70
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,156
I have nipples, your mother has nipples,
71
00:02:40,223 --> 00:02:42,058
your grandad has nipples.
72
00:02:42,125 --> 00:02:45,061
My friend Griff has... at least one.
73
00:02:45,127 --> 00:02:47,162
Aunt Dee-Dee has nipples.
74
00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:49,165
What? It was cold outside.
75
00:02:49,232 --> 00:02:50,667
Aunt Dee-Dee, let me get your bag.
76
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,571
Did Rainbow just steal my stuff?
77
00:02:54,637 --> 00:02:56,139
Joke's on you.
78
00:02:56,206 --> 00:02:58,708
That's a bag of trash from my car.
79
00:02:58,775 --> 00:03:01,044
Why is there a naked lady on the TV?
80
00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:06,499
Totally.
81
00:03:06,558 --> 00:03:08,026
What's wrong with you?
82
00:03:08,101 --> 00:03:10,537
Can't you see Alvin and I
are trying to kick it?
83
00:03:10,603 --> 00:03:12,205
You're harshing our vibe.
84
00:03:12,272 --> 00:03:13,873
You don't want to go in there.
85
00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:15,775
Mom and Dad gave me
the most awkward talk
86
00:03:15,842 --> 00:03:17,977
just because a topless lady was on TV.
87
00:03:18,044 --> 00:03:19,713
Wait, she had no top?
88
00:03:19,779 --> 00:03:21,214
She was just legs?
89
00:03:21,281 --> 00:03:23,216
No, she was naked.
90
00:03:23,283 --> 00:03:24,439
Whoa.
91
00:03:24,464 --> 00:03:27,509
Ugh, gross.
92
00:03:27,612 --> 00:03:30,182
Have you ever seen a naked lady?
93
00:03:30,256 --> 00:03:31,725
Have you?
94
00:03:31,791 --> 00:03:34,627
Uh... yeah.
95
00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:36,396
But just to make sure,
96
00:03:36,463 --> 00:03:37,731
we should try to see one,
97
00:03:37,797 --> 00:03:38,965
just to refresh our memories.
98
00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:40,867
Totally.
99
00:03:42,820 --> 00:03:46,506
There's no better
time for a refreshing shower
100
00:03:46,573 --> 00:03:48,789
than Morning Dawn.
101
00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:52,479
She's naked, but I bet
she could be more naked.
102
00:03:52,545 --> 00:03:55,248
Yeah, they always cut them off
at the shoulders.
103
00:03:55,315 --> 00:03:57,650
We need a bigger TV.
104
00:03:59,152 --> 00:04:01,087
I bet we can see on my dad's TV.
105
00:04:01,154 --> 00:04:02,255
It's huge!
106
00:04:02,322 --> 00:04:04,124
Let's go!
107
00:04:05,725 --> 00:04:07,761
So, you're teaching your daughter
108
00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:09,596
to have a positive understanding of sex?
109
00:04:09,662 --> 00:04:10,748
Okay.
110
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:13,600
What, do you want me to give her
the sex talk Mama gave us?
111
00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:15,535
She just threw me
a sanitary belt and yelled,
112
00:04:15,602 --> 00:04:17,203
"Don't get pregnant!"
113
00:04:17,270 --> 00:04:18,405
But did you get pregnant?
114
00:04:18,471 --> 00:04:21,541
No, but the more strict she was,
the more you snuck out,
115
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:23,510
and I was stuck having to lie for you.
116
00:04:23,576 --> 00:04:26,246
Are you joking? Mama slowed me down.
117
00:04:26,312 --> 00:04:28,748
Do you know how much more
trouble I would've gotten into
118
00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:31,217
if I didn't have to leave
Teddy Pendergrass' tour bus
119
00:04:31,284 --> 00:04:32,619
before dinner?
120
00:04:32,685 --> 00:04:34,220
She still never talked to us,
121
00:04:34,287 --> 00:04:36,089
and that's why I didn't feel like
122
00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:38,261
I could go to her with real questions.
123
00:04:38,317 --> 00:04:40,752
Yeah, and we don't want Rainbow
to ever feel that way.
124
00:04:40,827 --> 00:04:42,262
Oh, feelings.
125
00:04:42,329 --> 00:04:45,765
This commie nonsense is why kids
can't work in factories anymore.
126
00:04:45,832 --> 00:04:47,634
Dad, if we don't teach Rainbow
127
00:04:47,701 --> 00:04:49,669
to be comfortable with
this stuff, who will?
128
00:04:49,736 --> 00:04:51,504
It's not like she's gonna
learn it in school.
129
00:04:51,571 --> 00:04:53,273
I should know.
130
00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:58,611
"So, if you have premarital sex,
you can catch communism"?
131
00:04:58,678 --> 00:05:00,113
What kind of health book is this?
132
00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:02,148
It's called "The Joy of Abstinence."
133
00:05:02,215 --> 00:05:04,117
"Once you're married in the eyes
of the Lord,
134
00:05:04,184 --> 00:05:07,020
you can begin thinking about sex.
135
00:05:07,087 --> 00:05:09,189
And, boys, you get two cheatsies"?
136
00:05:09,255 --> 00:05:10,557
Oh, come on.
137
00:05:10,623 --> 00:05:11,858
If we don't do something,
138
00:05:11,925 --> 00:05:13,393
Rainbow will have hangups for life.
139
00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:14,994
Good! We need hangups.
140
00:05:15,061 --> 00:05:16,196
Hangups are the only thing
141
00:05:16,262 --> 00:05:19,199
preventing the world from
becoming perverts, one and all.
142
00:05:19,265 --> 00:05:22,068
While the adults were
having a pervert summit,
143
00:05:22,135 --> 00:05:24,070
I had more important things
to worry about.
144
00:05:24,137 --> 00:05:26,873
So, what's the latest with Brandon?
145
00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:29,309
Brandon was my crush
from the Pizza Palace.
146
00:05:36,116 --> 00:05:38,051
He's coming over to study tomorrow,
147
00:05:38,118 --> 00:05:40,053
but I don't know if he likes me back.
148
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,188
So I think I'm just gonna ask him out.
149
00:05:42,255 --> 00:05:43,557
But you're the girl.
150
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,910
I'm gonna have my auntie pray
for you with your fast behind.
151
00:05:46,973 --> 00:05:48,608
I'm not fast.
152
00:05:48,683 --> 00:05:50,919
My parents said that all young
women should be in control.
153
00:05:50,978 --> 00:05:53,847
No offense, Rainbow,
but your parents are freaks.
154
00:05:53,922 --> 00:05:54,956
Mm-hmm.
155
00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:57,092
Yeah, haven't you ever seen a love story
156
00:05:57,159 --> 00:05:59,694
like "Pretty in Pink"
or "Weird Science"?
157
00:05:59,761 --> 00:06:03,765
You have to act coy
and make the boy ask you out.
158
00:06:03,832 --> 00:06:05,834
Okay, how do I do that?
159
00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:08,170
Laugh at his jokes
even if they're not funny.
160
00:06:08,236 --> 00:06:10,805
Yeah, and boys like it
when you're really clumsy,
161
00:06:10,872 --> 00:06:12,974
especially when you're carrying
a stack of papers.
162
00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:15,777
Yeah, if you drop them,
he'll help you pick them up,
163
00:06:15,844 --> 00:06:18,313
you'll lock eyes, and he'll kiss you.
164
00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:20,348
Aww, kiss him in the rain.
165
00:06:20,415 --> 00:06:22,050
You just got your hair under control.
166
00:06:22,117 --> 00:06:23,351
Don't kiss him in the rain.
167
00:06:23,418 --> 00:06:24,619
Okay, is that all?
168
00:06:24,686 --> 00:06:25,654
Just make sure
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00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,989
there's nothing embarrassing
in your room.
170
00:06:36,631 --> 00:06:38,033
Yeah, there isn't,
171
00:06:38,099 --> 00:06:40,702
but I'll double check just to make sure.
172
00:06:43,071 --> 00:06:46,808
So, his name is Pierre,
he's 6'3", Haitian,
173
00:06:46,875 --> 00:06:49,477
and he's got big feet,
so you know what that means.
174
00:06:49,544 --> 00:06:50,679
He got a big...
175
00:06:50,745 --> 00:06:52,547
A big what?
176
00:06:52,614 --> 00:06:54,916
Why don't you tell her, guys?
177
00:06:54,983 --> 00:06:57,986
Feels like a great opportunity
to be really honest
178
00:06:58,053 --> 00:07:02,691
and empower her with stereotypes
about tall Haitians.
179
00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:03,892
Big shoes.
180
00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:04,893
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
181
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:05,894
Big, big shoes.
182
00:07:05,961 --> 00:07:08,562
Here's a sticker book!
183
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:09,888
Go play.
184
00:07:09,913 --> 00:07:10,914
Go play.
185
00:07:10,939 --> 00:07:13,368
I see what you're doing, but okay.
186
00:07:14,736 --> 00:07:17,105
Aha, I knew you all
weren't as open-minded
187
00:07:17,172 --> 00:07:19,407
about S-E-X as you claim to be.
188
00:07:19,474 --> 00:07:21,409
Look, you can act like
you're not like Mama,
189
00:07:21,476 --> 00:07:23,545
but the truth is
you are exactly like Mama.
190
00:07:23,612 --> 00:07:24,679
No, I'm not.
191
00:07:25,981 --> 00:07:27,215
That's for me. I'll get it.
192
00:07:27,282 --> 00:07:29,084
Nobody else get it.
193
00:07:29,150 --> 00:07:32,220
We totally believe in being open-minded,
194
00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:34,022
and when Santamonica is older,
195
00:07:34,089 --> 00:07:36,591
we will tell her exactly
what we told Rainbow.
196
00:07:36,658 --> 00:07:38,426
And that's what we're trying to
talk you out of
197
00:07:38,493 --> 00:07:40,228
'cause it's weird.
198
00:07:40,295 --> 00:07:41,963
Everyone, this is Brandon.
199
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,132
Oh, Brandon.
200
00:07:44,199 --> 00:07:45,567
Nice to meet you.
201
00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,102
- I'm Mrs. Johnson.
- Nice to meet you.
202
00:07:47,168 --> 00:07:48,270
Hey, Brandon.
203
00:07:48,336 --> 00:07:49,404
Hi, Mr. Johnson.
204
00:07:49,471 --> 00:07:51,473
Oh, no, just call me Paul.
205
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:52,574
Call me Paul.
206
00:07:52,641 --> 00:07:53,608
Good to see you again.
207
00:07:53,675 --> 00:07:55,522
Yeah. Can I grab you something to eat?
208
00:07:55,547 --> 00:07:56,815
I-I know you're growing.
209
00:07:56,866 --> 00:07:58,201
You know, I was always hungry
at your age.
210
00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:01,437
Your... Your body is changing,
but that is natural and normal.
211
00:08:01,504 --> 00:08:03,539
We should probably get to studying.
212
00:08:03,606 --> 00:08:04,774
You want to head to my room?
213
00:08:04,841 --> 00:08:07,276
Your room? Alone?
214
00:08:09,011 --> 00:08:11,481
Yeah, that's where my desk is.
215
00:08:11,547 --> 00:08:15,618
And Micaela's gonna come over
later probably, too, so...
216
00:08:15,685 --> 00:08:17,553
- Okay.
- Great.
217
00:08:20,397 --> 00:08:22,032
Yeah.
218
00:08:23,159 --> 00:08:24,560
Was that a door closing?
219
00:08:24,627 --> 00:08:27,142
Uh-oh, the fox is in the henhouse.
220
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,931
Are you telling me you are
really comfortable
221
00:08:28,998 --> 00:08:30,967
with what is going on right now?
222
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:35,771
They probably just need some...
some peace and quiet, right?
223
00:08:35,838 --> 00:08:36,939
Definitely.
224
00:08:37,006 --> 00:08:39,909
Yeah, because Rainbow does
make good choices, right?
225
00:08:39,976 --> 00:08:41,410
Of course.
226
00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:42,812
Why are you saying true statements
227
00:08:42,879 --> 00:08:44,013
in the form of a question?
228
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,815
- Must be the lawyer in me.
- Oh.
229
00:08:45,882 --> 00:08:48,084
But I'm totally fine with
everything happening here.
230
00:08:48,151 --> 00:08:49,952
Totally fine.
231
00:08:53,589 --> 00:08:55,691
I never spanked you enough.
232
00:08:55,758 --> 00:08:56,826
Yeah.
233
00:08:56,893 --> 00:08:57,894
Okay.
234
00:09:01,781 --> 00:09:03,283
So you really okay with Rainbow
235
00:09:03,349 --> 00:09:06,319
being in her bedroom with a boy
with the door closed?
236
00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:07,779
Yeah, of course.
237
00:09:07,854 --> 00:09:08,988
Is that why you lurking in the hallway
238
00:09:09,055 --> 00:09:11,357
folding the same sweatshirt
over and over again?
239
00:09:11,424 --> 00:09:12,892
No, I just can't get it right
240
00:09:12,959 --> 00:09:15,195
and it's a very important
sweatshirt to me.
241
00:09:15,261 --> 00:09:17,730
Listen, you should throw it away
because it's hideous.
242
00:09:17,797 --> 00:09:19,199
Now, be honest.
243
00:09:19,265 --> 00:09:21,668
Are you actually 100% okay with this?
244
00:09:21,734 --> 00:09:23,336
Yes! 100%.
245
00:09:23,403 --> 00:09:25,371
Oh, I can sharpen that pencil for you.
246
00:09:25,438 --> 00:09:28,041
Well, maybe 99%.
247
00:09:28,107 --> 00:09:29,409
Okay.
248
00:09:29,476 --> 00:09:32,245
To be honest, it's one thing
talking to Rainbow about sex,
249
00:09:32,312 --> 00:09:34,747
but having her in there
with a boy and the door closed?
250
00:09:34,814 --> 00:09:36,749
The rubber is hitting the road,
251
00:09:36,816 --> 00:09:38,318
and I'm starting to question myself.
252
00:09:38,384 --> 00:09:40,153
You better hope that's all
the rubber's hitting.
253
00:09:40,220 --> 00:09:42,188
- Ooh!
- I mean this with love,
254
00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:45,225
but I am not ready
for more Black grandkids.
255
00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:46,893
You've got to do something.
256
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,994
Come on, Alicia.
257
00:09:48,061 --> 00:09:49,596
I know part of you wants to go in there
258
00:09:49,662 --> 00:09:52,065
and do exactly what Mama
would've done to us...
259
00:09:52,131 --> 00:09:53,533
kick the door down and scream,
260
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,034
"Don't bring no babies up
in this house."
261
00:09:55,101 --> 00:09:57,237
So bad.
262
00:09:57,303 --> 00:09:59,372
But what Mama did messed us up,
263
00:09:59,439 --> 00:10:02,609
so I'm not going to do anything
crazy because I trust Rainbow,
264
00:10:02,675 --> 00:10:04,344
and this is what Paul and I are doing.
265
00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:07,247
Okay, you have to say that
because you are married,
266
00:10:07,313 --> 00:10:09,949
but I am not married,
so if you want me to be involved
267
00:10:10,016 --> 00:10:13,753
without betraying your marriage
vow, don't blink.
268
00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,755
Don't blink? What kind of
a signal system is that?
269
00:10:15,822 --> 00:10:17,524
You don't have to be here,
you know that, right?
270
00:10:17,590 --> 00:10:18,858
I don't know if you guys realize,
271
00:10:18,925 --> 00:10:21,961
but you're kind of hovering
outside Rainbow's door.
272
00:10:22,028 --> 00:10:24,464
What?
273
00:10:24,530 --> 00:10:25,899
Forgot this is her door.
274
00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:27,200
This is Rainbow's room.
275
00:10:27,267 --> 00:10:29,535
Oh. Give her some space.
276
00:10:29,602 --> 00:10:30,937
Okay.
277
00:10:35,808 --> 00:10:37,277
We got you, girl.
278
00:10:37,343 --> 00:10:39,879
Oh, yeah, we got you, girl.
279
00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:41,481
You don't get to say that.
280
00:10:41,548 --> 00:10:44,415
Johan and Alvin's boob quest took them
281
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,793
- to the biggest TV they could find.
- No. No, no.
282
00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:48,821
We might even be able to see her wiener.
283
00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:50,456
Girls don't have wieners.
284
00:10:50,523 --> 00:10:52,892
Their butt wraps all the way
to the front.
285
00:10:52,959 --> 00:10:54,160
Whoa.
286
00:10:54,227 --> 00:10:57,096
Alvin. What are you doing here?
287
00:10:57,163 --> 00:10:59,799
My visitation weekend's not until...
288
00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:01,401
the weekend.
289
00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:05,238
Uh, I snuck over here to show
Johan your cool hangout room.
290
00:11:05,305 --> 00:11:07,573
- Oh.
- Yeah, his dad's poor.
291
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:08,641
So poor.
292
00:11:08,708 --> 00:11:10,677
Well, you guys want some milk chocolates
293
00:11:10,743 --> 00:11:11,978
while you're watching the boob tube?
294
00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:15,815
Uh, sure, but, uh,
Johan can't have candy.
295
00:11:15,882 --> 00:11:19,819
Yeah, I can only have
Asian pears and jackfruit.
296
00:11:19,886 --> 00:11:23,256
Well, sounds like I'm making
a trip to the ethnic aisle.
297
00:11:25,758 --> 00:11:27,026
He's gone, come on!
298
00:11:27,093 --> 00:11:28,795
Come on.
299
00:11:28,861 --> 00:11:30,196
It's on, it's on!
300
00:11:30,263 --> 00:11:32,107
There's no better time
301
00:11:32,131 --> 00:11:34,200
- for a refreshing shower...
- I still can't see it.
302
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:36,336
- It should've worked.
- ...than Morning Dawn.
303
00:11:36,402 --> 00:11:37,937
What happened?
304
00:11:38,004 --> 00:11:40,106
We're never going to become men.
305
00:11:40,173 --> 00:11:42,875
Or are we?
306
00:11:48,781 --> 00:11:51,351
I had a boy in my room.
307
00:11:51,417 --> 00:11:52,819
Now all I had to do
308
00:11:52,885 --> 00:11:55,822
was figure out a way
to get him to ask me out.
309
00:11:55,888 --> 00:11:57,857
Thanks for helping me
study for the math test.
310
00:11:57,924 --> 00:11:59,892
I'm really trying to get my grades up.
311
00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:02,362
Sure.
312
00:12:02,428 --> 00:12:03,630
Do you like baseball?
313
00:12:03,696 --> 00:12:04,998
Huh?
314
00:12:05,064 --> 00:12:07,367
Oh. Oh, yeah, this is
my brother's shirt.
315
00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:08,701
He plays on the team.
316
00:12:08,768 --> 00:12:11,371
Oh, well, I've always wanted
to go to one of their games.
317
00:12:11,437 --> 00:12:15,742
With another person,
because I've never been to one.
318
00:12:15,808 --> 00:12:17,977
Oh. Hi.
319
00:12:18,044 --> 00:12:19,646
I hope I'm interrupting something.
320
00:12:19,712 --> 00:12:20,913
I made you guys some snacks.
321
00:12:20,980 --> 00:12:22,515
Oh, great. Thanks, Aunt Dee-Dee.
322
00:12:22,582 --> 00:12:24,050
Bye.
323
00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:25,985
Hey, I fight little kids.
324
00:12:26,052 --> 00:12:27,053
Go, go.
325
00:12:28,221 --> 00:12:29,422
Sorry about that.
326
00:12:29,489 --> 00:12:30,690
Where were we?
327
00:12:30,757 --> 00:12:33,192
Right, baseball. Love baseball.
328
00:12:34,594 --> 00:12:36,162
Hey!
329
00:12:40,091 --> 00:12:42,535
- Grandad, what are you doing?
- Ah, don't mind me.
330
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,839
I'm just making the most use
of my billable hours.
331
00:12:44,902 --> 00:12:46,037
And this is the point where
332
00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:49,674
I normally warn people
I'm friends with the D.A.
333
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,243
Okay.
334
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,245
Let's just get back to studying.
335
00:12:54,312 --> 00:12:55,913
After two disruptions,
336
00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:59,917
I knew I needed to pull out
all the rom-com tricks.
337
00:12:59,984 --> 00:13:01,519
Oopsie!
338
00:13:01,586 --> 00:13:03,354
I'm so clumsy.
339
00:13:03,421 --> 00:13:06,057
I dropped my calendar which
shows all of my availabilities.
340
00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:10,728
It was working.
341
00:13:10,795 --> 00:13:13,197
It was really working.
342
00:13:13,264 --> 00:13:15,199
I have a very important question.
343
00:13:15,266 --> 00:13:18,035
How tall am I?
344
00:13:18,102 --> 00:13:20,371
W-What? How should we know?
345
00:13:20,438 --> 00:13:21,873
Let's measure.
346
00:13:21,939 --> 00:13:23,875
O-Okay.
347
00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:26,878
Maybe I should study at my house.
348
00:13:26,944 --> 00:13:27,845
Bye-bye!
349
00:13:27,912 --> 00:13:29,680
No, no, no, no, no! Everything's fine!
350
00:13:29,747 --> 00:13:30,915
Santi, get out of here.
351
00:13:30,982 --> 00:13:33,017
But if I don't stay in here
for at least 10 minutes,
352
00:13:33,084 --> 00:13:35,720
I don't get my six bucks
from Aunt Dee-Dee.
353
00:13:36,754 --> 00:13:38,723
You still here?
354
00:13:38,789 --> 00:13:41,392
I need a new family.
355
00:13:41,459 --> 00:13:42,894
Oh, Dad, come on.
356
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,395
Knock it off.
357
00:13:44,462 --> 00:13:45,696
I'm just cleaning windows.
358
00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:47,064
Oh, come on.
359
00:13:47,131 --> 00:13:48,432
Can you believe him?
360
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:49,734
Oh, and I saw your sister
361
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,903
charge in there with
a jar of horseradish.
362
00:13:51,969 --> 00:13:53,304
It's like they don't trust us to...
363
00:13:53,371 --> 00:13:54,939
to know what we're doing as parents.
364
00:13:55,006 --> 00:13:57,208
Honestly, I'm not sure I do.
365
00:13:59,043 --> 00:14:01,746
I wanted to be the kind of mom
who would trust her in there,
366
00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:03,948
but I don't think I can be.
367
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:05,583
Where's this coming from?
I mean, all of a sudden
368
00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:08,886
you're... you're saying
you don't trust her?
369
00:14:08,953 --> 00:14:10,087
Well...
370
00:14:11,322 --> 00:14:13,591
All right, babe,
remember when Johan asked us
371
00:14:13,658 --> 00:14:14,959
if it was a good idea to hitch rides
372
00:14:15,026 --> 00:14:16,460
on a bus bumper with his skater friends?
373
00:14:16,527 --> 00:14:18,162
- Mm-hmm.
- The only reason he's still alive
374
00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:20,164
is because we taught him to trust us
375
00:14:20,231 --> 00:14:21,999
and to tell us anything.
376
00:14:22,066 --> 00:14:23,234
So, when Rainbow gets older,
377
00:14:23,301 --> 00:14:25,269
if she's, you know...
if she gets drunk at a party...
378
00:14:25,336 --> 00:14:26,938
She won't be going to any parties.
379
00:14:27,004 --> 00:14:29,640
- But if she does...
- She won't.
380
00:14:29,707 --> 00:14:32,910
Okay, but if s-she gets drunk
at our house,
381
00:14:32,977 --> 00:14:36,147
I want her to feel that
she can talk to us.
382
00:14:36,213 --> 00:14:38,282
I know.
383
00:14:38,349 --> 00:14:40,651
I want that, too.
384
00:14:40,718 --> 00:14:43,321
You know what? I'm gonna trust her.
385
00:14:43,387 --> 00:14:45,423
Oh, good. Okay.
386
00:14:45,489 --> 00:14:47,858
Okay, so I was just in the hallway
387
00:14:47,925 --> 00:14:49,527
after Bow kicked me out of her room
388
00:14:49,593 --> 00:14:52,830
when all of a sudden
this heifer locks her door!
389
00:14:52,897 --> 00:14:53,965
Not today!
390
00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:55,766
Oh, babe.
391
00:14:57,368 --> 00:14:59,971
Where is it? Where's the pokey thing?
392
00:15:00,037 --> 00:15:02,306
That's not the pokey thing
you should worry about.
393
00:15:02,373 --> 00:15:03,641
The skinny pokey thing you use
394
00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:05,343
to unlock the door from the outside.
395
00:15:05,409 --> 00:15:07,345
- I need to get in there.
- I don't understand.
396
00:15:07,411 --> 00:15:09,680
30 seconds ago, we were on
the exact same page.
397
00:15:09,747 --> 00:15:11,882
Pages turn, and I'm not ready for this.
398
00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:14,285
Find the pokey thing
or I'm gonna kick the door down.
399
00:15:14,352 --> 00:15:15,720
Oh, we kicking down doors?
400
00:15:15,786 --> 00:15:17,021
I'mma go change my shoes.
401
00:15:17,088 --> 00:15:19,023
You can't kick a door down.
You got to ram it.
402
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,032
Oh, I'mma ram it.
403
00:15:20,057 --> 00:15:22,326
Babe, you know Rainbow
makes good decisions.
404
00:15:22,393 --> 00:15:25,229
If you go in there, you're gonna
be breaking years of trust
405
00:15:25,296 --> 00:15:26,864
and open dialogue that
we have with our daughter.
406
00:15:26,931 --> 00:15:28,065
Do you really want to do that?
407
00:15:28,132 --> 00:15:30,034
Yeah, Paul, I really do.
408
00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:32,036
And after you filled your head
with nipple this
409
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,238
and nipple that and here a nip,
there a nip,
410
00:15:34,305 --> 00:15:37,041
everywhere a nip-nip...
411
00:15:37,108 --> 00:15:38,709
N-Nip.
412
00:15:38,776 --> 00:15:41,078
Mm. Hi.
413
00:15:41,145 --> 00:15:43,414
Can I call my mother?
I think I should go home.
414
00:15:43,481 --> 00:15:44,982
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh. Yeah, mm-hmm.
415
00:15:45,049 --> 00:15:47,785
Phone's, uh, out there.
416
00:15:49,253 --> 00:15:50,388
Thanks a lot.
417
00:15:50,454 --> 00:15:53,724
Hey, sis, if it makes you
feel any better,
418
00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:55,092
I have found the pokey thing.
419
00:15:55,159 --> 00:15:56,927
Huh?
420
00:16:01,573 --> 00:16:03,575
Hey, Bow-Bow.
421
00:16:03,642 --> 00:16:04,942
I know it's been a tough day,
422
00:16:04,979 --> 00:16:07,581
so I thought maybe
we could all watch a movie.
423
00:16:07,606 --> 00:16:09,181
Yeah, "Porky's" maybe?
424
00:16:09,248 --> 00:16:11,517
I-I don't know what it's about,
but I hear it's funny.
425
00:16:11,659 --> 00:16:12,927
What is wrong with you guys?
426
00:16:12,994 --> 00:16:14,690
It's like you can't help yourselves.
427
00:16:16,030 --> 00:16:17,832
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey, baby girl.
428
00:16:19,234 --> 00:16:20,768
Congratulations.
429
00:16:20,835 --> 00:16:22,870
I didn't agree with
your hippie parenting,
430
00:16:22,937 --> 00:16:25,640
but if my granddaughter doesn't
ever want to think about sex,
431
00:16:25,707 --> 00:16:27,375
it worked. Good job.
432
00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:30,011
Great.
433
00:16:30,078 --> 00:16:31,679
All of this is a repeat
434
00:16:31,746 --> 00:16:33,815
of what my mother did
when I was her age.
435
00:16:35,183 --> 00:16:37,352
She's the reason I didn't know
anything about sex.
436
00:16:37,418 --> 00:16:38,953
Any time sex came up,
437
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:41,356
I felt just like
Rainbow feels right now.
438
00:16:41,422 --> 00:16:43,691
Well, that kept you
from being like Cousin Tangie
439
00:16:43,758 --> 00:16:46,561
who mysteriously disappeared
down South for nine months.
440
00:16:46,628 --> 00:16:49,464
Yeah, but I had nowhere
to turn to to learn about sex,
441
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,065
so I had to figure it out on my own.
442
00:16:51,132 --> 00:16:53,034
Tell me about it.
I'm a child of the '50s.
443
00:16:53,101 --> 00:16:55,803
I didn't even know what sex was
until 15 minutes after I had it.
444
00:16:55,870 --> 00:16:58,373
And I guess I was trying to be
so different from my mother
445
00:16:58,439 --> 00:17:00,508
that I didn't realize
how uncomfortable I was
446
00:17:00,575 --> 00:17:02,043
with certain things.
447
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:04,545
Well, I'm glad I really know
how you feel,
448
00:17:04,612 --> 00:17:06,681
but I think part of the reason
I'm pushing so hard
449
00:17:06,748 --> 00:17:10,184
for so much openness is because
what this guy put me through.
450
00:17:10,251 --> 00:17:11,853
Hey, if you didn't feel comfortable
451
00:17:11,919 --> 00:17:14,522
talking to the priest about sex,
that's on you.
452
00:17:14,589 --> 00:17:19,360
Look, we... we want Rainbow to
feel comfortable talking to us,
453
00:17:19,427 --> 00:17:21,729
but I think there's
a middle ground we can find
454
00:17:21,796 --> 00:17:23,698
that we're both comfortable with.
455
00:17:23,765 --> 00:17:26,000
I like that. A little '50s order
456
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:28,836
mixed in with some commune
openness and talking.
457
00:17:28,903 --> 00:17:30,938
All right, hold it. Hold up.
458
00:17:31,005 --> 00:17:35,610
So, the takeaway is to still
do this talking crap?
459
00:17:35,677 --> 00:17:37,745
Oh, compromise is great.
460
00:17:37,812 --> 00:17:39,547
Rainbow will only get half pregnant.
461
00:17:41,849 --> 00:17:44,719
My brother was a natural-born slacker,
462
00:17:44,786 --> 00:17:46,587
except when it came to his dream
463
00:17:46,654 --> 00:17:48,222
of seeing his first human boob.
464
00:17:48,289 --> 00:17:49,957
Okay, I think that's the window.
465
00:17:50,024 --> 00:17:52,860
And now we wait for somebody
naked to walk past it.
466
00:17:52,927 --> 00:17:54,595
There's my telescope.
467
00:17:54,662 --> 00:17:56,764
I didn't know you two
were into astronomy.
468
00:17:56,831 --> 00:18:00,268
Yeah, you know us,
we love looking at planets
469
00:18:00,334 --> 00:18:02,951
and stars and... whatever.
470
00:18:03,052 --> 00:18:04,205
Yeah.
471
00:18:04,272 --> 00:18:07,108
Well, you sure aren't gonna see
any stars like that,
472
00:18:07,175 --> 00:18:08,876
you two rope-a-dopes.
473
00:18:08,943 --> 00:18:11,646
Let's see.
474
00:18:11,713 --> 00:18:13,414
Hey, check it out!
475
00:18:13,481 --> 00:18:15,583
We got a great look at Cassiopeia.
476
00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:16,784
What's that?
477
00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:19,287
Oh, she's the Brooke Shields
of Greek mythology.
478
00:18:19,353 --> 00:18:20,455
You see that star formation
479
00:18:20,521 --> 00:18:22,223
right at the top of the telescope?
480
00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:23,725
That's all her.
481
00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:26,961
You mean that thing
that looks like a "W"?
482
00:18:27,028 --> 00:18:29,731
Yeah. Isn't she ravishing?
483
00:18:29,797 --> 00:18:33,267
A beautiful queen
sitting naked on her throne.
484
00:18:36,671 --> 00:18:38,239
Oh, my gosh.
485
00:18:38,306 --> 00:18:39,841
I see it!
486
00:18:39,907 --> 00:18:41,743
Let me look!
487
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:47,181
And to think they were above
our heads this entire time.
488
00:18:47,248 --> 00:18:50,084
We're finally men.
489
00:18:50,151 --> 00:18:52,754
We sure are.
490
00:18:56,057 --> 00:18:57,825
Hey, Bow.
491
00:18:57,892 --> 00:19:01,863
I'm really sorry I was screaming
492
00:19:01,929 --> 00:19:04,265
outside your door about body parts.
493
00:19:04,332 --> 00:19:06,801
But we really want you to always feel
494
00:19:06,868 --> 00:19:08,603
you can come to us with anything.
495
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:09,804
Great.
496
00:19:09,871 --> 00:19:11,139
Next time I need you to
yell about nipples,
497
00:19:11,205 --> 00:19:12,540
I'll let you know.
498
00:19:12,607 --> 00:19:14,275
Oh, well, don't worry,
some things are gonna change.
499
00:19:14,342 --> 00:19:15,276
We're just gonna talk to you about
500
00:19:15,343 --> 00:19:16,644
the things that keep you safe.
501
00:19:16,711 --> 00:19:18,546
We're not gonna be pausing movies
502
00:19:18,613 --> 00:19:21,516
to talk to you about sensation,
reciprocation...
503
00:19:21,582 --> 00:19:23,551
- Honey, honey.
- Sorry.
504
00:19:23,618 --> 00:19:24,852
From now on, we're just gonna
505
00:19:24,919 --> 00:19:26,554
let you come to us with questions.
506
00:19:26,628 --> 00:19:28,396
And we're also gonna have some rules.
507
00:19:28,456 --> 00:19:29,857
No boys in bedrooms,
508
00:19:29,924 --> 00:19:32,226
no locked doors, no closed doors.
509
00:19:32,293 --> 00:19:33,227
Okay.
510
00:19:33,294 --> 00:19:35,029
And I know we're the last people
511
00:19:35,096 --> 00:19:37,398
you ever want to talk to about sex,
512
00:19:37,465 --> 00:19:41,335
but we want you to grow up
to be a young woman
513
00:19:41,402 --> 00:19:43,704
who is confident, comfortable,
514
00:19:43,771 --> 00:19:47,074
and in control
in all areas of your life.
515
00:19:47,141 --> 00:19:50,578
Well, then can I be in control
of this conversation and end it?
516
00:19:50,637 --> 00:19:52,436
- Absolutely. Yep.
- Mm-hmm, sure.
517
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:56,884
Mom, Dad, I have a question,
but it's kind of embarrassing.
518
00:19:56,951 --> 00:20:00,054
Why do boobs look like a bunch of stars?
519
00:20:00,121 --> 00:20:01,681
Stars?
520
00:20:01,775 --> 00:20:04,400
That's a really good question
and is not embarrassing at all.
521
00:20:04,478 --> 00:20:05,759
No, but the first thing
we should talk about
522
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,852
is that everybody has nipples.
523
00:20:07,877 --> 00:20:09,597
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. I have nipples.
524
00:20:09,664 --> 00:20:10,932
- Your mother has nipples.
- Oh.
525
00:20:10,982 --> 00:20:12,751
You have nipples.
526
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:15,265
Looking back, I really appreciate
527
00:20:15,312 --> 00:20:17,781
that their openness
created space for me to be
528
00:20:17,848 --> 00:20:20,384
the free and confident person
that I am today.
529
00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:21,607
Hi.
530
00:20:21,645 --> 00:20:22,685
Hey.
531
00:20:22,724 --> 00:20:23,829
I'm sorry my parents are weird.
532
00:20:23,854 --> 00:20:25,466
I like you. I want to see you again.
533
00:20:25,521 --> 00:20:26,657
How's that sound?
534
00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:28,459
That sounds great.
535
00:20:28,525 --> 00:20:30,094
But it'll have to be in a week
536
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,262
because I got grounded
for failing my math test.
537
00:20:32,329 --> 00:20:34,665
I'll wait for you.
538
00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:39,236
Can you dummies hurry it up?
539
00:20:39,303 --> 00:20:40,904
Some of us are here for the salad.
540
00:20:47,987 --> 00:20:49,622
Uh, what is this?
541
00:20:49,689 --> 00:20:51,123
I thought George Orwell wrote this
542
00:20:51,190 --> 00:20:52,725
to be an allegory about communism,
543
00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:55,161
but it's just a bunch of
drunk guys in togas.
544
00:20:55,228 --> 00:20:57,763
Mm, you're thinking "Animal Farm."
545
00:20:57,830 --> 00:21:00,066
- This is "Animal House."
- Mm-hmm.
546
00:21:00,132 --> 00:21:02,668
Oh! Wow, okay, that's inappropriate.
547
00:21:02,735 --> 00:21:04,837
Just gonna fast forward
through this bit.
548
00:21:04,904 --> 00:21:06,806
Hey, you're fast forwarding
through most of the bits.
549
00:21:06,873 --> 00:21:07,974
Which is fine. We're totally cool
550
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,642
with the new fast forwarding policy.
551
00:21:09,709 --> 00:21:11,010
Even though there's a great conversation
552
00:21:11,077 --> 00:21:12,745
about consent we could be
having right now.
553
00:21:12,812 --> 00:21:14,847
Huh, there are the credits.
554
00:21:14,914 --> 00:21:16,349
Oh.
555
00:21:16,415 --> 00:21:17,583
Got to say,
556
00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:20,019
movie nights have been
much shorter these days.
557
00:21:20,086 --> 00:21:23,089
- Subs by kinglouisxx -
for www.addic7ed.com
40167
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