Original subtitles

Hello and welcome to Top Gear.

We are back and, as you can see,

things are a little bit different.

Because of Covid, pesky Covid!

we can't have a studio audience, but we've got the next best thing.

That's right, Pad, they said work from home if possible,

so here we are at the home of the BBC.

Yes, the mighty Television Centre. Wonderful.

You can literally smell the history,

and the gin.

So no audience, but we do have our trusty production team.

Hello, everybody!

Yes, look at them.

They've had a shave and a wash and everything. It's fantastic.

And we've got a few locals up in the flats. Hello, there, everybody!

Hello! Right up the top.

We won't be long. Get the kettle on.

Imagine settling down to your dinner

and finding Paddy McGuinness yelling outside your window. Lucky.

It's probably a good time to put a low offer on one of these flats.

Looking round, a few of them have shut the curtains, Pad.

Now, the BBC wants to make clear,

us three, we've been Covid tested... Yep.

...we're bubbled up,

so we're officially allowed to be nice and close.

I've got to be honest...I prefer the social distancing. Sorry.

Anyhow, things might be a bit different,

but we've still been hard at work messing around in cars

and have we got a better of a series lined up for you.

Here's what's in store.

Have you got high heels on? Why are you walking like that?

Can we do this, please?

- No, no, no, no. - Slow down, slow down.

That is ridiculous!

Aye-aye, Captain.

Just look at these.

Stop.

Have you got an earring in? Yeah.

I like it.

Geez, what a sight!

- Brake. Brake. What are you doing? - I'm braking.

Have a bit of smoke, gentlemen.

I'm not in character here.

Well, at least we've still got our dignity.

It's so fast!

All over the place.

Mamma Mia! Here we go again!

Exciting. Exciting. Exciting.

All that coming up over the next few weeks,

but tonight it's time to slip on the old rose-tinted spectacles,

you already have... Thank you.

...to talk about memorable cars.

Because we reckon the most important car in your life

isn't the one you learn to drive in, or the first car you bought.

No, it's your dad's car. Yes!

The one you sat in the back of as a kid.

So, to celebrate the most memorable cars of all, the producers said,

"Tell us what your dads drove, we'll find the nearest thing we can,

"you get yourselves to Cumbria."

Our trip down memory lane

would be set against the rugged, ancient backdrop

of the Lake District...

...where, on a remote farm,

we'd been told to meet up for a very special reunion.

Here we go.

Are you excited? I am excited. Yeah, me too.

I mean, this is a big moment.

Oh, look at this, boys.

Aaah!

Oh, my ears.

I think I know mine. Really?

- Come on, then. Shall I? - Yeah, go on, go on, go on.

Why am I so excited?

Cos it's your dad's car. Your dad's car was everything.

Take it off! When you were a kid, it was everything. Take it off!

Boys, it's the legendary..

...Cortina.

- What do you think? Beautiful. - I love a Cortina.

Is that a brown interior as well?

Yeah. It doesn't get more '70s.

1.6 GL. THE car.

It just oozes dad.

It's just a dad car, innit?

It's a proper rolling up,

arm out the window, here's my dad.

My mum and dad used to sleep in it.

- When we were at the cricket... - Too much information! No!

What happened was I used to stay in hotels with the teams and that.

And they would...? I only found out years later

that my mum and dad used to sleep in the car a lot

cos they couldn't afford hotel rooms and things.

I don't know what to say to that, Fred. Yeah.

Look at this.

If my dad saw this, he would be so happy.

- Can I say one thing, Mr Flintoff? - Yeah.

You've a reputation for bending things. You're not bending this.

I'm not going anywhere near. No chance. No way.

Go on, who's next? Shall we have a go? Yeah, go on. What have we got?

Oh, of course it was yellow, of course it was!

Come on, boys! Here we go!

Bring on the sunshine. Did every bloke in the North have a Ford?

That is a honey. Look at this.

I would have a go about it being yellow but it works.

Yeah, because it was built in Seville, that.

Those lads out there.. a bit of sunshine on their back,

a couple of sangrias, it fitted. It does.

It's only when they got made over here

they all came out as brown and grey.

Do you know, this car my earliest memories of this car

what make me smile was not being in it.

When my dad used to pick me up at the weekend,

he'd roll up outside our house

and he'd always drive over the grid in the front of our house

and it made a certain clanking noise.

Whenever I hear it now it just makes me smile,

so when I think about his car,

I think about him driving over that grid.

But the years I spent sat in the passenger side.

I never went in the back.

I was always... Why? Just...

I just wanted to be up front with my dad.

I wanted to be out there, and back then you were allowed.

Seat belt on, or not?

Please! In the '80s?

Paddy, just come here and just see this angle of the two Fords.

Look at it. It's beautiful. Look at them.

Let's get down here and have a look at that. Yes.

If that is an Escort or a Granada, we've got the full set.

Funny feeling I might disappoint you here. Oh. Here we go.

Come on. Granada. Sierra. Sierra.

I'd love a Sierra.

It could be a Sierra. It's not, is it? Did you see? Different country.

Straight away!

Geez. E21 323I!

Look at these. You've got windscreen wipers on the headlights.

Oh, my lord. Do you know what?

I'm not often lost for words,

but that's my entire childhood back in one piece. I just adored these.

- 140 horsepower in the late '70s. - Wow.

Rear-wheel drive. And I was...

What are you thinking now you're seeing it? What are you thinking?

- I'm trying quite hard not to cry. - Honestly? Oh, mate. Fantastic.

And I never... You know I've got a few cars,

but I've never bought one of these cos it was my dad's car.

I've never driven one. You've never driven one?

I've never sat in the driver's seat cos I don't think I'm...

I don't think I deserve to cos it's my dad's car. Get in.

Go on, Chris.

Get in. Look at this.

Paddy, that's a nice car. Yeah.

That is a lovely car. 323I.

It's absolutely gorgeous, lads. Is it?

And I remember the clock faces and...

So you never sat in the driver's seat of it? Never got to drive it?

I wasn't allowed to.

I wasn't allowed to touch the heater controls or anything

- cos it was Dad's. Dad's car. - Pride and joy?

You don't mess with Dad's car. It's...

It was a space that was not to be touched. It was to be respected,

and if you went anywhere near any of it, you were in trouble.

Yeah. Don't even think about touching the radio. No.

Don't even think about touching the radio.

I'm getting the smells, I'm getting the smiles,

I'm getting the arguments. I'm getting the frustrations.

I'm getting the... All of it, and it comes through a car.

How do cars do that?

Do you want me to give you a few...?

Oh! It's got the optional five-speed gearbox.

Look at this.

Seatbelt on.

I'm actually quite nervous about starting it up.

Right...

I'm actually going to start up my dad's car.

Here we go.

Ignition on.

Oh, there we go!

Look at the exhaust fumes out the back of that Cortina.

First gear, handbrake off.

Sorry, Dad.

Oh, my word! I'm so happy.

♪ Meet the new boss... ♪

Yes!

♪ Same as the old boss... ♪

The sound of that straight six! That's the sound...

...of my childhood.

We were on our way,

and exactly where wasn't important...

...because, for once, we hadn't been told to head straight

to the nearest racetrack or airfield.

Instead, we'd been told to just soak up the memories

and see where they'd take us.

Lads, now, obviously, your dad's your dad

and your mum's your mum and we all refer to our dads as Dad,

but they have names.

What were your dads' names?

My dad was called Ian Harris.

- My dad's called Colin. - Yes! I like it.

Ian and Colin, and my dad were called Joe.

Three proper dad names.

Brilliant. Brilliant names.

My dad, he started off life as a coal miner,

so he worked down the pits, my dad,

and he had these big man's hands, big thick veins on the back,

and this steering wheel is so tiny

and so thin, even my hands look big on it,

so my dad's hands? God, it was like Andre the Giant driving the car.

Oh, I just loved being in the car with my dad. Loved it.

You know what I'm going to do?

To pay homage to my dad, I'm going to put glasses on.

There we go.

Now that is a look. Just call me Colin.

Oh, I love that!

The more I drive, the more memories are coming flooding back.

Just wanted to be a cricketer. That's all I wanted to do.

I wanted to play for Lancashire,

and then maybe, maybe just maybe, play for England.

And this is the car that took me to all the matches as a kid.

The conversations we had in this car with my dad about cricket.

Even daft stuff like opening the boot

and all my cricket kit's in there, my bat,

my first one, my V12 I bought myself, £21.50 Slazenger.

My pads from Hamleys toy shop in London where my Auntie Joan took me.

Ah, it's bonkers.

Do you two just find yourselves just looking round the car,

then all these different memories come back

with different things you see?

Everything, every button, every switch,

brings back a memory for me.

The strange situation in my household

was that this my dad's car, the 323I, he was

and I'm sorry to say this, Pa, he was quite an average driver.

My mum could really drive. My mum was a rally driver,

so for me the perfect combination

was to be collected from a party or school

in my dad's car with Mum driving,

and then I always knew we were in for a ride,

and she would drive it like an absolute lunatic.

A bit of lock on, wet roads.

In fact, I can remember another friend's dad

making a woman driver joke and thinking, or assuming,

that meant that that was a really good driver

cos in my household it was the mum that could really pedal.

I tell you what, boys, do you remember as kids

peering through the window and seeing how far the speedo went?

I used to love that.

And you just presume the car will do that speed.

I have a potential maximum on my speedometer of 140mph.

Ooh!

Snap, Chris. Mine also says 140mph.

Well, mine says 100, and that is very, very, very optimistic.

What we needed, funnily enough, was an airfield...

...where, in honour of the universal truth that as a kid your dad's car

would always go as fast as the speedo showed,

we'd now see which of ours could get closest to their magic number.

Technically, lads, this isn't even a drag race, is it?

We could have done this separately.

This saves a load of time

and cuts out the boring bit of your car doing it on its own.

Just pointing out the facts.

I'll be pleased if I can get to 50...

...and that's being ambitious.

Three, two... Here we go.

...one...

...go'

I'm off! First moral victory for the Fiesta!

Watch this. Watch this.

Oh, there he goes. Wow!

Look at that go!

70.

This feels like a modern car. 80.

40mph!

60. Come on, the Cortina. I'm starting to wobble a little bit.

90.

Nearly 100 already. I mean, they're specks. They are specks.

Oh, hang on.

60? That's a surprise.

Go on, baby!

Keep going, keep going.

105, 110.

I mean, that's outrageous.

80, 80.

85.

Can I get 65?

Go on, go on, go on.

65!

Wow!

And that, gentlemen, is why, in the early '80s,

you paid a bit extra for a 323I.

What did you get to? She was still pulling at 110.

85. Paddy?

Let me just get this right.

I've got 100 so I got 65, so I'm within 35mph of my top speed.

What did you get? 112.

What's your top speed? 140.

I know you think you've got one here, but you haven't. Swine.

All you've done is expose the fact that you can't add up.

I think you've pipped me, though, Paddy.

I honestly thought yours would give a bit more, Fred.

Me too, but never mind about top speeds,

dads driving, all about reversing.

Reversing?

Oh, yes.

The great leveller.

I wanted to test the superpower that every dad must have,

no matter what they drive.

What are you doing?

Straight, line reverse, slalom all the way back round,

then straight-line reverse here.

- Fastest wins. - Dad driving.

I don't remember my dad reversing around hay bales, but I'll do it.

And with the course laid out,

I decided to show them how it was done.

With those glasses on and that jumper in that car,

he looks like an ITV documentary

remaking some hideous serial killer.

Three, two, one, go!

We're off.

Old dad technique, arm over the shoulder.

This is very Sweeney.

- It is very Sweeney. - Vroom! Round it goes.

Get round, get round.

The pressure's on.

By rights, you should win this. Why?

You're in the faster car for a kick-off.

I'm getting dizzy. Whoa!

Why would they make this a faster car in reverse?

Because it's German. They do that, don't they?

It's down to driver skill, so you're right, I probably should win it.

Backwards, backwards, backwards.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

This could be interesting. I don't fancy this.

Ooh! That's unnecessary. He's flat spotted those.

How'd I do? 51 seconds. That looked very good.

Do you know the thing about the Mark IV Cortina, Chris?

What?

It's got 15% more visibility than the Mark lll. Has it?

- Thought you'd like that. - There you go.

You've been knocking about with him for too long.

It's a car show, Paddy. We shouldn't be scared to deliver stats.

With a whole lot of dad pride on the line, McGuinness was up next...

- Have you got the stopwatch? - Yeah.

...and things were getting serious.

- Whoa. Whoa. - What?

- What's up with you? - What?

Pass that BLEEP stopwatch over. No!

No! No!

- No. - I'm timing you.

- No. - I'm timing you.

I want Harris on the stopwatch. Sit down. He did Fred's.

I'm not having you doing it. Get in your car. Pass it over.

I'm a father. I'm a dad. Bollocks!

The glasses aren't fooling anyone. Pass it over.

OK, go.

Pretend you've got it.

Just as he goes, hold it up, right?

Three, two, one, go!

You...

Oh, he's going for it. Whoa!

I feel ill.

He's trying to go both ways. It doesn't work.

Whoa! I've given myself whiplash!

Whoa!

What happened then?

What do you reckon you got?

Faster than you. You did, by half a second.

Shut up! 50.72.

I was convinced it was sub 50. That...

That's a demonstration of honesty from Andrew Flintoff.

Do you know what? We're in a bubble. We can.

It's nice being honest, isn't it? It's what happens.

We all get on when we're being honest. Go on, Chris. Get in.

I think he's going to beat you. Can I say before I start...? Oh! Oh!

No, no, you can't say anything. Get in.

Three, two, one, go!

Whoa! Whoa!

OK. Brake, brake, brake, brake.

What's his dad going to say?

Now to the right. That's good.

Oh!

Yeah, he's quick, he's quick.

Oh, he's pressed the horn. A honk of the horn. Get out the way!

Whoa!

Oh!

And brake.

This is going to be slick.

That's his dad's car. Why's he doing that?

All this chat about looking after my dad's car,

the blue smoke was coming, you nearly hit a bale down here.

What did we get to?

41...

...point 94.

- To be expected in that. - Wait there.

That's an annihilation. That's an annihilation.

Do you know what that was, Chris? What?

A complete lack of respect for your dad's car.

Yeah.

We were testing you.

- Unbelievable. - Yeah.

So first dad car bragging rights to the Harrises.

But then, it has to be said, the BMW 323I always was...

...a very special car.

Think about it, it's a small, compact rear-wheel-drive saloon car

with nearly 150 horsepower,

2.3 litre fuel injected inline-six.

You can always tell a six cylinder by having four lights at the front,

but the 323I had twin exhausts either side at the back.

I remember my father turning up with one and saying,

"Oh, it's got the twin exhaust."

Cor, I was a lucky boy.

How are they driving, boys? Fred, I've lucked in here. It's gorgeous.

I've got to tell you the Cortina, is running like an absolute dream.

I've not stopped smiling since I've started driving.

All right, the 1.6 GL's whopping 70 horsepower

would never be enough to take on Harris' Beamer at the lights...

...but that doesn't matter. It's a Cortina...

...and that makes it an icon.

You don't see many Cortinas knocking about these clays,

but back in the day these were everywhere.

It was the biggest-selling British car of the '70s,

and everyone drove them.

You know, sales reps, families, the police.

It was the car to have.

Well, if you're talking about the car to have...

...how about the UK's bestselling car...

...of all time?

The Ford Fiesta.

This car is so popular!

Four million of these have been sold

four million!

This car is a proper British icon.

This is where my love affair with Ford started.

I loved the Fiesta. I loved everything about it.

And that's the real beauty of your dad's car.

Back in the day, it didn't matter that it had a one litre engine

and 53 horsepower.

It was still...

...utterly magical.

Honestly, I used to love sitting in the car with my dad and just dri...

I didn't care where we were going as long as we were driving

and we were on the road, talking and laughing

and he used to do this little thing when he were driving, my dad,

when he'd change the gear, he'd grab my leg and give it a squeeze

and it gave me like a little electric shock,

and he'd do it every now and again

and I used to laugh my head off

and, cor, it was just wonderful.

I just...

I think we'd all give anything

to go back to those moments in time, you know.

I miss them. I miss him.

It's a funny thing, talking about your dad

when he's been gone a long time,

because mine's been gone 20 years

and I still struggle to talk about him.

You do. You just...

That doesn't go away.

So, Ian Edward Lorimer Harris...

...I miss you lots and I'm sorry about...

...a lot of the driving that I do

that you'd find inappropriate, but...

...I do often keep...

...a box or a tin of barley sugars in most of my cars.

And I don't really eat them.

I just buy them because you used to have them

and it makes me feel good having them in the car.

Never admitted that in public before.

Funny old world.

It starts to make you think about,

what's my kids' memories going to be?

You know, as a father, you try your best, don't you?

You try your best to provide...

...show your kids the way,

and you just hope you're doing a good job. I just want to do...

...as good a job as my dad. I don't think I can do any better than him.

He was amazing.

I hope when my kids get, like, to my age...

...and they talk about their childhood, they had a good one,

and they got all the love and support they need.

That would be my biggest achievement.

Now, clearly inspired by the way we've been

so heartedly embracing the dad's car brief,

the producers had gone and cooked up a little test of their own.

Which, of course, meant our trip down memory lane

would now lead us to...

...yes, a local racetrack.

Right.

"To recreate that authentic driving-with-your-dad experience,

"you will now see which of you can get round this circuit fastest

"while sitting on the lap of one of your fellow presenters."

Oh...

The question we've got to ask ourselves here is,

who's having Flintoff sitting on them?

You might have to get that sunroof open!

Oh, God!

Yes, in a bizarre bid to relive that giddy thrill

of sitting on your dad's knee for your first-ever go at the wheel,

under the floodlights of the Cumbria Kart Racing Club,

we'd now take turns steering our cars

while sitting on each other's laps.

- You ready? - Not really.

- I've got to get in. - What are you doing?

I'm trying to move my hands!

What is that?!

I'm trying to get in.

- I can't get in. - Try side-saddle.

Can you get both your legs?

- Put your other leg in. Go on. - Try that.

It doesn't work, this. This don't work.

Have you tried facing him? Facing him?! That might work.

Try that.

No chance.

But after completely relocating the seat...

Get that arse out of my face! McGuinness on pedals.

...we were just about in business.

Shut that door!

It's a natural racing position...

...ish.

Three... Where's the gear stick? ..two...

Jesus! Are you all right? ..one...

Oh, right on me...!

...go! Ready?

- Have you got the handbrake on? - No.

Right, get it into second.

- Get it into second. - Second? I'm trying!

Right, you're going to have to start braking. Start braking.

Nice and easy. Brake, brake, brake.

- What are you doing? - I'm braking.

Not stop!

They've stopped!

They've stopped!

Right, just keep it like that cos we've got a hairpin.

- Are you all right? - I'm getting cramp.

Easy, Pad, easy.

They're either stationary or they're going flat out.

- Slow down, slow down. - Brake, bit of brake, bit of brake.

A bit of accelerator.

Oh, my God. My left knacker...

Here they come.

- I don't know what gear I'm in. - I can't get it back.

It's my dad's car!

That'll do. That'll do. Are we there?

Get me out of this car!

You could have bought me a drink first, Paddy.

Do you want a bit more time together, you two?

Get two cigarettes down here!

Oh, God. A cigarette and a good cry.

Oh, God!

- What's the time? - You did it...

...in 2:24.51. Get in, Pad.

It felt a lot longer.

Still, now with a time to beat, next it was Harris' turn to go on top.

Absolutely ridiculous.

If you'd said to me as I was watching the 2005 Ashes

that I'd be giving you a lap dance in my dad's old car...

No touching! Gentlemen, are you set?

Sort of. All right.

- Three... - You in gear. In gear.

..two...

First. OK, let's go...one, go!

Off they go.

Can't see a thing, Chris. I've got it, I've got it.

Can't see where I'm going. I'll tell you when to brake.

Brake, brake, brake, brake.

Looking smooth, lads.

Roll it in now, roll it in. I feel like a ventriloquist.

It's all right for Chris, cos he is the size of a child.

How we doing, Chris? You've got to tell me. I can't see.

Brake, brake, fricking brake!

I can't see. No use shouting at me. I can see but I've got no tail.

A bit of gas, a bit of gas. I don't want to crash this.

Oh, sh...!

That was oversteer! Oversteer! Wahey! Well done, Harris.

And over the line.

- Stop here, stop there. - Are we done?

My leg. Oh, my God.

Come on, then, McGuinness, give us the good news.

Your time is...

...11:37.16

- Do you feel violated, Christopher? - I don't know.

I mean, I'm a massive cricket fan, so it's partly an honour.

The Beamer had been a minute quicker than the Cortina.

Now, could the humble Fiesta do any better?

Daddy...

...can we go to the pub?

No! No!

- Oh, McGuinness! - Look at that.

Are you ready, boys?

- What are you doing? - Come in, Fiesta. Come in, Fiesta.

When you put your hand there,

what are you thinking's going to be there?

There's something digging into my you-know-what.

Yes, my...!

Boys, when you've finished arguing, are you ready?

We are ready.

In three... Oh! ..two...

- No! ..one... Go! - Give it some.

It's not a bad start, that, to be fair. Get it into second, Daddy.

Nice tight line.

Brake now, brake now, brake now. Right hand, right hander.

- Give me some. Give me summat. - Not too much, not too much!

They're going quite quick, aren't they? Brake hard, brake hard.

Nice tight line.

Right-hander coming up, Daddy.

- Stop shouting where we're going. - Brake! Ow!

- They're nearly off the track. - I'm giving it everything.

- Go on, this is a good time, Daddy. - Here they come.

What's the time?

1:22. They're going to have to be quick.

Brake!

Right, give me a big hand.

Yes, we're over!

We're over.

Never again. Daddy...

...I need a wee.

How was that, Pad?

A lot more comfortable steering.

Yeah, it was a better run than ours.

- Do you want to know the time? - That felt like the winning time.

1:37 to beat.

You two did it in one minute...

"30... Yes!

Are you ready? Go on.

...two. Yes!

Well done, Daddy. Yes!

Stop calling me Daddy.

Come on, bath night, Daddy.

So, lesson learned,

if you're a dad and you want your kids to have a head start

behind the wheel, get yourself a Fiesta.

Oh, I enjoyed that, Daddy.

- Give me your hand. - No! Get off.

Can I be Mummy?

You're Mummy. Give me your hand.

Go away.

Get off! Carry me, Daddy.

- We can swing him. - I want to be carried!

Now, I've jumped a car off a dam, I've rolled a hearse,

both are less stressful than getting a lap dance off Chris Harris.

It was like having a frisky badger crawling all over me. It really was.

You were all right with frisky badger.

I had Bigfoot crawling all over me.

That... That in my face.

Lucky lad!

If you ever call me Daddy again, I'm off. I'm done.

- I thought you liked that. - No, I didn't.

Can we not just hold hands while we do this?

Get off!

But seriously, though,

seeing those cars for the first time in 40 odd years, it was emotional.

I mean, you had a lump in your throat. It was a tricky moment,

boys. It was a tricky moment. It brought back so many memories.

Absolutely it did. Good ones as well.

Right, moving on, it's time

to talk about peak-flow traffic light systems.

Is it heck! Here's Chris Harris in a new supercar.

This is the Lamborghini Sian.

That means thunderbolt,

and that means this is a hybrid.

Yes, Lamborghini has finally entered the electric era.

And, as you'd expect, it's not done it subtly.

This spaceship of a supercar

melds petrol and electricity to generate over 800 horsepower.

It is nothing short of the most powerful Lamborghini ever made.

So why am I not as excited as I should be?

Don't get me wrong, it looks brilliantly ridiculous,

but there was a time when a new supercar,

especially a new Lamborghini, was a big event.

Now it seems there's a new supercar from Ferrari or Lamborghini

or McLaren every other week.

So...

...let's see if the Sian can stand out from the crowd.

Wow!

It's lively!

It's oversteering and moving around.

It is sodding fast.

It's asking lots of questions of my driving!

This is not only the most powerful Lamborghini ever made,

it's the fastest too, over 217 mph!

Yeah, OK, this is a very, very fast car.

And when it comes to the whole hybrid thing,

the Sian is also a very different car.

The engine is no downsized fuel sipper,

but Lamborghini's very large, very thirsty, 6.5 litre V12.

And, unlike other hybrids that you can plug into the mains,

the Sian only gets electricity from its own brakes.

It doesn't even have a battery.

Instead, it uses something else.

Tucked away behind my head

but in front of the engine is something called a supercapacitor.

It sounds very cool and it is very cool.

Now, a normal battery stores electricity in chemical format,

so it has to convert electricity into a chemical and that takes time.

That's why your battery takes time to charge.

But a supercapacitor stores electricity as electricity

which means it charges much faster,

but most importantly it can chuck it out much faster too,

which means instant power.

So when you brake hard into a corner, you see it recharging...

...then when you accelerate out the other side...

..you see it boosting.

Clever stuff.

So why isn't every hybrid, in fact, every electric car,

using supercapacitors instead of batteries?

Firstly, they're expensive...

...which explains why the Sian costs...

Well, Lamborghini won't tell us exactly how much it costs,

but we're talking about a million.

Plus another million and a bit.

Secondly, supercapacitors don't hold as much juice.

About a quarter of the power of an equivalent size battery.

In fact, the motor in your Sian only adds about 30 horsepower.

Power that is only used for a bit of extra low-speed shove

and to smooth out the gear changes

in what is a rather antiquated gearbox.

Really, once you're up and going fast,

this doesn't even feel like a hybrid.

I'm barely aware of anything battery-related going on.

All I can sense is that wonderful V12 screaming away behind me.

Truth is, under the deranged bodywork,

this revolutionary hybrid is a bit of a gimmick.

Really, it's an Aventador,

a car we first saw a decade ago,

now with a very small amount of added electricity.

And, in this age of cutting edge, dripping with tech,

do-it-all-for-you supercars, it has to be said,

that really does make the Sian stand out from the crowd.

This couldn't be more different to a super-clever Ferrari SF90.

This isn't Lamborghini saying,

"Hey, we've made the supercar for the next millennium,"

this is Lamborghini saying, "Ah, you know what?

"We slapped a bit of electricity in there to smooth things over,

"but ultimately you're on your own."

The Sian makes no sense.

The back wants to step out and the front wants to move around

and I'm fighting it the whole time!

It is utterly preposterous.

I think that when the next generation looks back

from their electric cars and what we were up to,

they'll look at these V12 Lamborghinis and say,

"That was insane!"

And that is exactly the way it should be.

Ii

A Lamborghini should largely make you yourself!

That's what this one's doing.

Oh, it... It...

It just reminds you that, for all the cynicism,

it's a wonderfully ridiculous object.

This is quite a machine!

Wow.

Look at it, Paddy. That is a bit of you, that.

It's got to be a big piggy bank, though, to buy something like this.

Chris, you're saying it's too expensive... Yep.

...it's basically an old car... Yep.

...and the hybrid stuff doesn't really do anything. Not really.

But you love it?

You drive it for ten minutes and it tears your underwear off.

It's so easy to be cynical about these things. It's a supercar!

But it's a hybrid, does that mean it's better for the environment?

Of course it's not.

I mean, listen, it's a stunning car, it's a work of art,

but when I see that name, I know it's pronounced "see-ann",

but all's I see is Sian.

Sian in Welsh, in English, translated Jane.

So it's the Lamborghini Jane?

Yes.

I'm just waiting for the Ferrari Trevor.

Anyhow, it's time to head back down memory lane with our dads' cars,

where we're getting a bit more dad with every passing mile.

...on Wednesday the 14th October

good morning, this is Today with Nick Robinson.

Oh, my word!

You know what, Fred, honestly?

There were one chart when we were kids,

and you knew who number one was.

Now, not a clue!

I can always rely...

Tell you what, it makes my ears bleed, that rubbish.

It was the start of another day with our dads' cars.

And clearly already in the right mind-set

for more nostalgic pottering about the Lake District...

Never buy petrol on the services, too expensive!

...talk soon turned to that special kind of wisdom that only dads have.

I never once saw him pull out an A to Z.

He just knew everywhere. It's just...

I don't know, it's just dad knowledge.

Yeah, my dad had the map

and he'd plan his route meticulously,

he knew exactly what road to go on, but if we went on a long trip,

it was like five o'clock in the morning, we were all up,

trying to beat the traffic.

And actually pulling up and asking for directions is a no-no.

Not even an option. Never saw it happen.

He would rather...

He would rather have just spent the night in the car.

The other one I had which is really weird was dad facts,

that you assumed they were real because your dad told them to you.

I can remember, he wouldn't keep his hand on the gear lever

cos he reckoned it wore out the gearbox.

Ha! I always remember my dad saying to me when we were a kid,

we lived at... You've been down my street, so it's a narrow street,

and they were doing...

It used to be cobbled and they were putting the tarmac down,

and when they were digging the cobbles out, I said,

"What are they doing, Dad?" He said, "Oh, they're getting it ready.

"They're going to put a swimming pool in front of the house."

And I believed it!

The disappointment when they come pouring the tarmac down.

Now, overnight, the producers had been busy

concocting another nostalgic test.

This time, of us, the drivers.

And to find out what they had in store,

we were told to park up our dads' cars...

Ah, glorious.

...and head deep into Grizedale Forest.

Which, tantalisingly, is an area renowned for its rallying heritage.

Oh, gentleman!

Oh! Look at that!

Mark II Escorts on gravel!

Ohh! We're in!

Oh, there's a challenge on this one. Shall I get it?

Very good.

"Time for some good, old-fashioned dad motorsport.

"A bit of rallying in the woods. In these classic Ford Escorts,

"you will see how close you can get to a benchmark time

"set by Stig's clad."

What are you laughing at? I got through that.

That was good, that was good.

I was worried about the first line, but then I just ploughed on.

- I ploughed on. - I'm sorry!

Oh, I think he's here.

Is this Stig's dad?

Yes, it was.

And he'd be laying down the gauntlet in that British motorsport icon,

the MG Metro BRA.

Born out of World Rallying's deranged Group B era

back in the '80s, with 380 horsepower and four-wheel drive...

...it was fair to say that Stig's dad...

Dear Lord!

...was in his element.

Look at the top. He's got a tank top on.

He's got a pair of flares on as well.

Very nice.

Right! Your last rallying experience, how did that end?

I rolled it.

Oh. Yeah, I hit a tree.

Just as well then that our retro motorsport-inspired challenge

would now play out as a full-bore time trial

across four miles of torturous, tree-lined gravel tracks.

As much a test of bravery as it was skill,

Stig's dad would set off first in the 6R4,

with our plucky Escorts each lining up behind

to see who could finish closest to the rally legend.

Harris is up to the line.

Mark II Escort with 300 horsepower.

Here we go, then.

What?!

Where does it go? I'm not quite sure!

Wow! This is proper adrenaline going now!

Oh, this is sketchy!

Man!

Come on, Fred.

Three, two, one.

Not the smoothest of starts,

but we're off.

On the brake!

Steer it, Fred. Steer, steer!

Whoa!

So we were all up and running.

But, way out front, the Stig's dad was flying.

And while we had no idea how fast each other was going...

Oversteer everywhere!

...all we could do was try and stay on the road...

Got to get round!

Oh, that's lost time!

...and keep pushing as hard as we dared.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Go, go, go!

Come on, switch on, McGuinness!

As we passed the halfway mark, we were just hanging on.

Brake, brake, brake!

Oh, rescued it!

But fair play to Harris...

Trying drive on a line of sides!

...he found another level.

Whoa-ho-ho! Fully sideways!

No idea where I'm going, I'm just guessing!

Oh, bit of a wobble!

The back end's all over the shop!

Nearly headed off then!

As Stig's dad crossed the finish line,

the end was in sight.

Wov!

Man!

If my dad could see me now! Go on!

Whoa!

I'm round!

Oh, I'm round in one piece.

That is proper driving, boys.

Loved it!

That's the first time I've been round a rally stage and finished it.

Thank you.

I don't know if I'm fast or 30 seconds behind you. Thank you.

- I think we'll be pretty close. - I haven't got a clue.

- The results! - Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Paddy, that's me. Yep.

63 seconds slower than Stig's dad.

So that's a minute.

Ooh. Public school for you, that.

And three seconds!

Fred. Yep.

37 seconds slower than Stig's dad.

So he's nearly half a minute quicker than you?

S... Yeah. I'm going to have to have a steward's enquiry into that.

Can you say that out loud to me now?

Nearly half a minute? That can't be right.

Anyway... I know you're smiling on the outside,

but are you embarrassed on the in?

No, just hurting.

Wait, because he's got the card, he can keep reading...

No, no, no. But I don't mind...

If the tables were turned, if the tables were turned...

I don't mind...

If the tables were turned, you would hammer him.

I wouldn't cos I'm... I'm not about that.

Now... Now we're into the meat and gravy.

Chris, you were only...

- 12 seconds slower than Stig's dad! - Oh, Chris Harris. Well done, son.

That is quick, pal. Well done, pal.

- That is quick! - Well tried.

Right, there's more.

"These times will be your handicap..."

Oh, God.

And I'm in a Fiesta.

You're already handicapped!

"..For the best bit of any true dad's road trip,

"the dash to the ferry."

Oh!

"We've booked one space on the Windermere Ferry,

"which departs in 20 minutes.

"First dad's car to get there gets the space."

Right, we better get going.

Yes, in our last and most important test,

we'd now have to get back to the motors

and make a last-minute dash for the ferry.

And with no phones, maps or sat navs to help us,

that's right, it was time to go full dad!

Oh, he's gone.

I'm going right, boys, I'm going right.

When can I go? When can I go?

This reminds me of racing to the hovercraft with my father.

Here we go, we're off in the Cortina.

He set off quick as well.

I don't know whether to go left or right,

so I'm going to go straight.

Come on, be the right choice!

"Windermere via ferry"?

Those are words I want to see!

Here we go. Oh, can't find it? Grind it.

No need for fancy wheels spins in this.

Not with a top speed of 60. Ha!

Right, this way. Here we go.

The little Fiesta was on its way,

but already a long way behind the others.

What's that?

Windermere? Is it that way?

To catch up, I'd need my dad-nav on full power.

Eh-up. Eh-up!

That's a sign!

Where's Windermere?

Where is it? I can't see a lake.

I'm not sure this is the right way. There's no lakes round here.

Do you know, you're so used to looking at your modern dashboard,

where you've got your map on there,

in these old-school motors, you've got to be like a homing pigeon.

And if you're not like a homing pigeon...

Oh, I've got no idea if I'm going the right way or what.

...you might well be forced to do something deeply shameful.

Excuse me.

Do you know which way Windermere is, the lake?

Windermere? I'm trying to get the ferry.

The ferry? Um, yeah, you want to go down right here...

Right?

This is pretty. Oh, 30.

Windermere... Seven miles?!

Better get a wriggle on.

Oh, eh-up!

"Windermere via ferry"!

The race is on!

Then you'll be in Hawkshead and then you'll have to go left.

Brilliant. Thank you so much.

Hawkshead, follow the signs to Hawkshead.

So Flintoff was on his way again

and now heading straight for the ferry.

Road signs, road signs, come on, come on.

Hawkshead, get in!

Get in!

But, by asking for directions,

he had, of course, broken the dad code.

And the driving gods had soon lined up a suitable punishment.

Oh, no. Come on.

I don't need to be behind the camper van in the Lake District.

Blooming heck!

Ooh, what lake's this? This looks quite big.

Here we go, boys!

As a family, we didn't really win much, the Harrises,

we were a bit useless, so this might be a maiden victory.

What's that there?

"Welcome to Windermere Ferry."

Where is it? Down there?

Is this right?

Come on! Oh, get this camper out the way!

It's got to be that way, there's water down there.

Ferries like water.

I can't believe there's a ferry down here. It's a bit narrow.

No, all wrong. No signs for the ferry.

No nothing. Idiot.

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

Can I get past? Oh, I can.

We're going past, the Cortina's overtaking.

It's only overtaking.

There's a lake! Is that Lake Windermere?

Come on!

Oh, oh, oh!

Bloody hell, it's my dad's car!

Oh, here we are. What's that?

Via the ferry? That way.

Boats, that's a good sign.

Where am I now? "Windermere via ferry."

On track, lads.

Harris is definitely going to have got there before me.

Definitely.

He's got there before me, I know he has!

"Welcome to the ferry." I'm here!

Can I see him? Is he on? Is he on?

I can't be the first here.

I can't be!

They've shut the gate! He's got to be on, it's a wind-up.

It's a wind-up, he's got to be on here.

He must be!

Have you seen a little fella?

- No. - No?

Oh, it's Flintoff!

You are winding me up.

I think the Fiesta's done it!

I think the little Fiesta's done it!

Oh! Dad, I hope you're seeing this!

How? How?

I don't know!

Did you ask for directions?

No, because I were driving

and there were a massive sign saying Windermere.

That's just you all over!

What? No matter how far you drop,

your arse lands in butter every time.

Oh, dear me!

- Eh-up. - Oh, no.

Here he is.

Here we go. Oh, mate.

I got carried away and went off on the road.

I was enjoying it.

When I saw the sign saying ferry, I turned right. Yeah.

But I didn't turn left, I just turned right and carried on.

I've been to another village.

Also... Oh! Also...

Lads, I can't talk, boys. Dad's ferry's off.

Come on, we're leaving! Take your elbows off there, mate.

Come on, let's go! Have a good'un!

Right, Captain Birdseye, get us out of here.

That wants some oil on it.

See you, Pad!

Have a good'un!

Come on, Chris.

- Let's go get some food. - Let's get some food.

I'll do you a postcard, lads!

"From Dad, with love."

Lovely.

Right.

Bit chilly on these ferries.

Amazing.

You see? You want to skid a supercar around Silverstone,

call Chris Harris.

But if you want to get to a small ferry

in the north of England on time,

you'll be needing me and an old Fiesta.

It doesn't get more dad than that. Lovely stuff!

Pad, the producers stuck you on a ferry

to somewhere you didn't want to go.

You didn't so much win as get deported.

Yeah, I did realise that when I got to the other side

and no-one were there.

So I got back on, come across and there was no-one there either.

Me and Chris did have a lovely dinner.

- Did you? - We did.

Genuinely, I think this is my favourite thing we've done.

Yeah.

Just pottering round the Lake District in old cars.

It just shows you, you don't have to go abroad to have some fun.

Absolutely.

And I know we've been talking about dads all show,

but we haven't forgot about you, mums.

Happy Mother's Day, mums!

Happy Mother's Day! Mwah!

Love the mums!

We're back next week with the best Bond cars ever. Yes!

And this lunatic races another lunatic in a jetpack.

There goes the no-claims.

See you then. Goodnight!