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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:14,083 Terrific. 4 00:00:16,791 --> 00:00:18,458 ["Never Ever" playing] 5 00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:24,041 [cell phone chimes] 6 00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:28,083 [cell phone chimes] 7 00:00:31,208 --> 00:00:32,208 [cell phone chimes] 8 00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:36,250 ♪ Soft velvet and candlelight ♪ 9 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,333 ♪ Little fears that you keep inside... ♪ 10 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:41,958 Oh, my... 11 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,375 [exhales] 12 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,708 Excuse me. Hi. 13 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:53,833 Whoa! 14 00:00:53,916 --> 00:00:55,375 Wow. I-I didn't realize... 15 00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:57,875 I'm sorry. Tim. Nice to see you. 16 00:00:58,541 --> 00:01:00,750 Uh, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to steal her away now. 17 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:01,833 You look great. 18 00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:04,666 And good news, our table's ready now, so we can... 19 00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:07,250 What the hell do you think you're doing, bro? She's with me. 20 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:10,500 Sir, I appreciate you keeping her company, but she's actually not with you. 21 00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:12,166 She's with me. [chuckles] 22 00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:14,458 Believe me. You don't want to make me cause a scene. 23 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:15,750 [chuckles softly] 24 00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:16,958 [inhales] 25 00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:21,708 You're gonna cause a scene? 26 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,333 I might... 27 00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:26,958 summon one of the managers. Sure. 28 00:01:27,041 --> 00:01:28,666 -[inhales deeply] -No. 29 00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,625 I don't know what you been smoking, 30 00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:34,041 but you better back off my wife, or I'm gonna punch a hole in your face. 31 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,375 -Your--? -[woman] Timothy? 32 00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:37,708 Is that you? 33 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:42,000 Uh-oh. My bad. I was at the other side of the bar. 34 00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:44,041 Ooh! I'm actually his date. 35 00:01:44,125 --> 00:01:45,875 -[chuckles] -Melissa? 36 00:01:45,958 --> 00:01:47,000 Everybody calls me Missy. 37 00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:48,250 Sorry about the mix-up. 38 00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,166 Just a little blind-date blunder. [chuckles] 39 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,458 But what would you two know about making a mistake, right? 40 00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:54,375 Okay. Let's go. 41 00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:57,791 [laughs] I got you so good! 42 00:01:57,875 --> 00:02:00,666 Wait. Wait. You did that on purpose? Why? 43 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,833 Best blind-date ice-breaker ever! 44 00:02:02,916 --> 00:02:05,750 Ice-breaker? The guy almost broke every bone in my body. 45 00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:08,166 Yeah, it worked, didn't it? We're loose. We're laughing. 46 00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:09,083 We're having fun. 47 00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:11,250 Oh, my God! That was so funny. 48 00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:13,916 You know what the best part is? You passed the test. 49 00:02:14,708 --> 00:02:15,541 What test? 50 00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,833 The testicle test. You showed some real nuts back there. 51 00:02:18,916 --> 00:02:19,833 I'm impressed, babe. 52 00:02:19,916 --> 00:02:21,750 It was cute. Real good. 53 00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:25,125 By the way, the age thing doesn't concern me. What are you, 65? 54 00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:26,208 What the fuck? 55 00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:28,375 I know that's a blond wig, and I don't care. 56 00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:33,125 Timothy, I would like to present you with the first impression rose. 57 00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:34,208 -[Tim sighs] -[squeaks] 58 00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:36,250 You've earned it. Boop! 59 00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:38,500 -You know, from The Bachelor. You know. -I got it. 60 00:02:38,583 --> 00:02:40,916 -Hi. Can I start you two with anything? -Oh, yeah. 61 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,375 Let's have two tequilas, please, señorita. [laughs] 62 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:46,250 Actually, I don't drink, 63 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,375 so I'm gonna probably just go with a soda water. 64 00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:49,458 Whatever you have is fine. 65 00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:50,833 [groans] What? 66 00:02:50,916 --> 00:02:52,250 [laughs] Okay. 67 00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:55,166 First chink in the armor. Mr. Perfect's not so perfect. 68 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,875 But we'll fix him. [laughs] 69 00:02:57,791 --> 00:03:01,083 I'm just kidding. Don't worry. I'm a-- I'm a certified substance abuse counselor, 70 00:03:01,166 --> 00:03:03,208 so I know-- I know how to handle an alcoholic. 71 00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:04,875 I'm-- I'm not an alcoholic. 72 00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:06,583 What, just a couple DUI's? 73 00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:08,291 -No! -"I'm not an alcoholic, sir, I swear." 74 00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:09,875 -Never. -You a lightweight? 75 00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:11,791 -No. -Did you piss on your friend's couch? 76 00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:14,333 -No. -Make out at truck stops? [vocalizes] 77 00:03:14,416 --> 00:03:16,916 No. I just don't drink. It's not that weird. 78 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,125 Here's the thing. People who don't drink, they always have a story. 79 00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,875 -I don't. Sorry to disappoint you. -You don't disappoint me. 80 00:03:22,958 --> 00:03:24,958 Nothing you could do would disappoint me. I love you. 81 00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:26,041 [laughs] 82 00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,833 [inhales] Wow. 83 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,250 This, us, it feels like fate. Doesn't it? 84 00:03:31,916 --> 00:03:33,625 Wha... How did you meet my grandmother again? 85 00:03:33,708 --> 00:03:35,541 -Jiffy Lube. Yeah. -Oh. 86 00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:37,666 She's like, "My grandson would be so perfect for you." 87 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,458 I'm like, "Sign me up!" So, yeah. 88 00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:42,250 I have to visit her more often and possibly smother her. 89 00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:43,500 -You're getting-- -Oh, am I? 90 00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:45,208 -Your hair is getting in-- -Oh, am I? 91 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,166 -Do you want to get a napkin? -Eh-eh-eh-eh. 92 00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:49,125 [whimpering] [smacking lips] 93 00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:50,458 I don't think that's sanitary. 94 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:52,666 Uh-- [gags] 95 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,416 [clears throat] I hope I'm not freaking you out on our first date. I-- 96 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,541 Well, I have to tell you, I probably have never been-- 97 00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:00,625 -[shouting] Stop eye-fucking me! -I'm not. I'm just talking to you. 98 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,041 [shouting] I'm with someone! 99 00:04:02,541 --> 00:04:05,041 We're trying to have a romantic dinner date here! 100 00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:08,541 What do you think we're trying to have, huh? Until you assholes interrupted us! 101 00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:11,041 Hey, my boyfriend's gonna kick your fucking ass! 102 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,708 No, he's not. I'm going to the restroom. 103 00:04:12,791 --> 00:04:14,125 -Real quick. I'll be back. -Okay. 104 00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:16,166 Right after he gets back, he's kicking your ass. 105 00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:17,750 [clattering] 106 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,250 [Tim grunts] [pants] 107 00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:26,000 [grunts] [pants] Shit! 108 00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:27,625 [grunts] 109 00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:28,750 [Missy] Tim? 110 00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:31,583 [screams] Shit! 111 00:04:31,666 --> 00:04:32,875 What you doing? 112 00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:34,458 Hey, you. 113 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,375 Um... 114 00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:36,666 Good. I'm... 115 00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:38,291 You got me. 116 00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:40,291 I was climbing out the window to run around, 117 00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:42,375 and I was gonna come back in and sneak up on you. 118 00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:43,791 [laughs] 119 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,250 [continues laughing] 120 00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,250 God, we are funny together. 121 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,375 Are we? [laughs] 122 00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:55,000 That said, we have to leave the restaurant right now. 123 00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:56,208 [exhales] 124 00:04:56,666 --> 00:04:58,166 Wh-Why? What happened? 125 00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:01,375 When you went to the bathroom, Aquaman started mouthing off again. 126 00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:02,291 So, I... 127 00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:03,791 I sort of flashed him. 128 00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:06,291 You flashed him your breasts? 129 00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:09,541 No, I didn't flash him my breasts. I showed him Sheila. 130 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,583 Wh... Like, your Sheila? 131 00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:15,375 No. My friend, my protector, Sheila. 132 00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:17,875 Gah! What are you, Crocodile Dundee? 133 00:05:17,958 --> 00:05:20,708 What? It's a blind date. What if you were some psycho? 134 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,833 Then I could behead you. Hmm. 135 00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:24,916 Any way you could give me a couple minutes in here? 136 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,541 You do have to go to the bathroom now. 137 00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:27,958 -Yeah. -[Missy] Yeah. I get it. 138 00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:30,958 When I'm dropping a deuce, I don't want anyone talking to me, so... 139 00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:33,958 -[clicks tongue] Have a good shit, my man. -Thank you. 140 00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,333 Maybe I'll take a shit, too. 141 00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:37,208 Mmm, don't have to. 142 00:05:37,291 --> 00:05:39,708 Eh, you never know. I'll push. 143 00:05:39,791 --> 00:05:40,666 See you in a bit. 144 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,333 [door closes] 145 00:05:43,541 --> 00:05:44,458 [screams] 146 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:46,000 -[thuds] -[Tim screams] 147 00:05:46,083 --> 00:05:48,291 [screaming and crying] 148 00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:49,750 [toilet flushes] 149 00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:54,375 [continues screaming and crying] 150 00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:57,916 [Missy] I'm coming, Tim! I'm coming! 151 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:58,833 [Tim grunts] 152 00:05:58,916 --> 00:06:01,458 I bet you wish you had that tequila now, huh, Tim? 153 00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:03,791 All right, I gotta pop this puppy back into place ASAP. 154 00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:06,333 -[whimpering] No! -Yeah. Don't worry. I'm a certified EMT. 155 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:07,625 -No, no, no! -One. 156 00:06:07,708 --> 00:06:08,625 -No, no! -Two. 157 00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:10,708 -Three! -[grunts] 158 00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:14,208 -Four! -[screams] 159 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,125 ["No Roots" playing] 160 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,458 ♪ I've got no roots But my home was never on the ground ♪ 161 00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:22,583 {\an8}♪ I've got no roots But my home was never on the ground ♪ 162 00:06:22,666 --> 00:06:25,958 {\an8}♪ I've got no roots... ♪ 163 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:27,375 -Yeah. -Hey, dude. 164 00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:29,500 Okay. Good news, bad news. 165 00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:33,333 First casualty of the merger. Hanrahan got the axe. 166 00:06:33,416 --> 00:06:35,208 Ooh. Is that the good news or the bad news? 167 00:06:35,291 --> 00:06:37,333 Okay. So, I guess it's good news and good news, 168 00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:39,916 because you're on the short list to replace him. 169 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,250 And I mean short list because you're short. 170 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,375 [laughs] I'm just kidding. 171 00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:47,458 Ah, shit! I just remembered the bad news. 172 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,791 It's down to you and "The Barracuda." 173 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,458 Oh, fuck. Where'd you hear that? 174 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,916 I'm the head of HR. I have access. 175 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,250 [laughs] Like, what? 176 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:57,250 And I'm glad you're seeing a shrink. That's great. 177 00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:00,500 You don't want people to see your stuff, use your personal email. 178 00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:04,333 Ah, fuck. So it's good news, bad news, more bad news. 179 00:07:04,416 --> 00:07:06,708 Your ex-fiancée is gonna be at the retreat. 180 00:07:06,791 --> 00:07:10,166 My office books the travel, so Julia's gonna be with Rich. 181 00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:14,333 Well, from what I saw, all spouses and significant others are welcome, so... 182 00:07:15,583 --> 00:07:16,708 It doesn't surprise me. 183 00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,833 Tim, I'm just concerned. 184 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,791 You're concerned about what? I gotta go. 185 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,833 I'm concerned about this. Look at your screensaver. 186 00:07:23,916 --> 00:07:25,333 That's your ex-fiancée. 187 00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:26,416 That's insane, Tim. 188 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,458 Why are you ordering Grubhub seven days a week? 189 00:07:28,541 --> 00:07:29,500 Because I'm hungry. 190 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:33,458 And did you really watch seven episodes of The Affair last night? 191 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:36,958 That was my personal computer. What the fuck! You're on everything? 192 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,291 Don't use the same password 193 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,000 from your corporate account to your personal account. 194 00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,708 That's on you. 195 00:07:42,791 --> 00:07:46,791 Dude, come on. It's been three months since you went out with that crazy fuck. 196 00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:47,875 It was one date. 197 00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:49,583 The walking boots off, 198 00:07:49,958 --> 00:07:51,166 running shoes on. 199 00:07:51,791 --> 00:07:52,875 Run to a vagina. 200 00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:54,750 I'm not gonna go through all that shit again. 201 00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:57,458 Fuck that girl, fuck my grandma, and fuck you. 202 00:07:57,541 --> 00:07:59,000 -I'm off to Newark. -[chuckling] What? 203 00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:02,166 If Miss Right is out there, she can find me. I'm a hello away. 204 00:08:03,541 --> 00:08:05,500 Is that a line from The Affair? 205 00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:06,875 Yes, it is. 206 00:08:06,958 --> 00:08:09,500 ["Times Won't Change Me" playing] 207 00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:19,958 ♪ I heard it coming ♪ 208 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,875 ♪ In every thunder, I wonder-- ♪ 209 00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:24,291 -Oh. -Oh, shit. 210 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:26,541 -Oh. -Oh. I'm sorry. 211 00:08:26,625 --> 00:08:28,083 Here. Yeah. No. 212 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,083 Here. Here. 213 00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:31,583 Thanks. 214 00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:37,125 Jesus. 215 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:40,875 Fuck. 216 00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:43,958 Hey. 217 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,041 Here you go. 218 00:08:47,791 --> 00:08:48,666 [machine beeps] 219 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,666 Sorry, sir. Seems like you have the wrong ticket. 220 00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:52,916 What? 221 00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,125 Oh, shit! 222 00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:58,958 Excuse me. Pardon me. 223 00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:00,916 Sorry, guys. 224 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,625 Shit. 225 00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:08,416 No, no. Coming. I'm coming. I'm com-- 226 00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,916 Ah, you fucking pube-eater. 227 00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:12,541 [woman] Timothy? 228 00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:17,000 Melissa Doherty. 229 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,833 [chuckles] I like your taste in luggage. 230 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,791 [laughs] 231 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,791 I mean, maybe I hit my head when we collided, because I'm confused. 232 00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:28,250 Okay, I get we both grabbed each other's carry-ons. 233 00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:31,333 -Yeah. -But how did my book end up in your bag? 234 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:33,916 Wait. This? 235 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:35,541 No, this is my book. 236 00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:39,500 -This is my book. -[laughs] Oh, no. 237 00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:40,416 [laughs] 238 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,000 -Wow. -What? 239 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:42,958 Wow. 240 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,375 Can I get you something to drink? 241 00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,875 Know what? Let me get you a drink. 242 00:09:45,958 --> 00:09:48,125 It's the least I can do for making you miss your flight. 243 00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,666 Actually, I don't drink. 244 00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:51,583 I'll just have a club soda with a lime. 245 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:54,500 You don't drink? I, uh... I'll have the same thing. 246 00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:55,500 I don't drink either. 247 00:09:55,583 --> 00:09:58,000 I hope you're not saying that to make me feel more comfortable, 248 00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:01,500 -because I'm totally okay if you want-- -[chuckling] No, I swear. I don't drink. 249 00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:02,416 Is it just me, 250 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:06,375 or does everyone automatically assume you're some total booze-bag? 251 00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:08,541 -[laughs] A hundred percent. -[laughs] 252 00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:10,166 -Everybody! -Everybody! 253 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:12,541 -[Tim] No, those guys are great. -[Melissa] Amazing. 254 00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:14,000 [Tim] I like all those bands. 255 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,666 By the way, I was supposed to see Phil Collins, right? 256 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:17,625 I love him. 257 00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:21,083 And my friend talks me into the VR version, 258 00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,333 that stupid shit, 259 00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:25,166 instead of going live to the show, which is great. And I do it. 260 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,541 I'm not even talking to him anymore. It was not even close. 261 00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:28,750 -I am so with you. -Horrible. 262 00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,250 -I mean, those things suck. -Yeah. 263 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:32,916 I'm not happy unless I'm deaf for a week after a concert. 264 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,208 -Exactly. -Yeah. 265 00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:39,750 I have to say, this has turned out to be the best time I've had with a guy 266 00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:40,875 in a really long time. 267 00:10:40,958 --> 00:10:43,250 -Me too. Me too. With a girl. -[chuckles] 268 00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:44,666 But that's not saying that much. 269 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:46,666 My closest relationship right now 270 00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:49,458 is embarrassingly with the Grubhub delivery guy. 271 00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:50,541 -[laughs] St-- -He's nice. 272 00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:53,083 He really pushes me out of my comfort zone. 273 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:56,541 I invited him in to watch The Affair, innocently, because it's a good show, 274 00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:59,333 and, uh, he's like, "I gotta go deliver shit." 275 00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:01,041 -Hmm. -Like, he's being really weird. 276 00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:02,916 -The Affair, huh? -Yeah. 277 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,750 -Yeah. -I'm tell-- I think you would like it. 278 00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:07,125 I hear good things. I just... [inhales] 279 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,833 It hits a little bit too close to home. 280 00:11:08,916 --> 00:11:09,791 Oh. 281 00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,958 My husband had an affair. 282 00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:13,166 [softly] No! 283 00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,833 I suppose I should say my ex-husband. 284 00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:20,000 I have an ex-fiancée for the exact same reason. 285 00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:28,125 [grunts] Oh, shit. 286 00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,208 Is this a bad idea? 287 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,666 -No! No, not at all. -Oh, okay. 288 00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,166 -[moaning] -[giggles] 289 00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:35,541 Okay. 290 00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:38,416 [woman] This is the final boarding call for flight 452 to Atlanta. 291 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,833 Shit. That's me. I gotta go. I have a meeting in the morning. 292 00:11:40,916 --> 00:11:41,916 I cannot miss this flight. 293 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,500 -Yeah. For sure. -Okay. All right. 294 00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:45,750 All right. Uh, wait. Can I get... Can I get your number? 295 00:11:45,833 --> 00:11:47,416 -What's your number? -Oh, my number. 296 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,875 -Yeah. -Uh, mine's 503... 297 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,333 555-0131. 298 00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:53,875 -I sent you my contact. -Okay, good. 299 00:11:53,958 --> 00:11:55,375 -[shrieks] -Bye. 300 00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:57,916 -To be continued. Okay. -Yeah, for sure. 301 00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:00,541 Oh, wait! Shit! You got the wrong bag again. 302 00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:02,458 -[shrieks] -[laughs] 303 00:12:02,541 --> 00:12:03,500 -Okay. -[Tim] Bye. 304 00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:06,500 [panting] 305 00:12:06,583 --> 00:12:07,708 Oh, shit. 306 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:10,000 Oh, my God. 307 00:12:10,958 --> 00:12:11,791 [exhales] 308 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:13,166 Oh. 309 00:12:14,583 --> 00:12:15,708 [cell phone chimes] 310 00:12:15,791 --> 00:12:16,625 Oh. 311 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,041 [whispering ]Yes! 312 00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:21,416 ["Portland" playing] 313 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,541 Fuck! 314 00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:24,958 ♪ The way I wanna know you? ♪ 315 00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:27,833 ♪ Got several hundred stupid things ♪ 316 00:12:27,916 --> 00:12:30,083 ♪ That I wanna show you ♪ 317 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,625 ♪ I punched out all the windows ♪ 318 00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:35,041 ♪ Just to get some light ♪ 319 00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:38,041 ♪ So I can give you everything ♪ 320 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,208 ♪ It keeps me up at night... ♪ 321 00:12:40,708 --> 00:12:42,375 [groans] 322 00:12:42,458 --> 00:12:43,291 [chuckles] 323 00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:45,541 ♪ Who only wants a ghost ♪ 324 00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:48,375 ♪ Yeah, I would drop everything ♪ 325 00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:50,083 ♪ And drive up the damn coast... ♪ 326 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,083 So dumb. 327 00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:53,375 ♪ Portland has nothing ♪ 328 00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:57,500 ♪ Especially not me ♪ 329 00:12:57,583 --> 00:13:00,583 ♪ How am I supposed to sleep tonight... ♪ 330 00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:01,500 Shoot. 331 00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:03,916 [sighs] 332 00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:09,083 "I know it's been a bit since we saw each other, 333 00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:11,500 but that was a hell of a first date. 334 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:17,041 I've tried to hold off texting, but I... can't stop thinking about you." 335 00:13:22,041 --> 00:13:23,000 [message transmits] 336 00:13:23,416 --> 00:13:24,333 [sighs] 337 00:13:24,416 --> 00:13:25,375 [cell phone chimes] 338 00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:28,958 [chuckles] 339 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:31,250 Fuck, yes! 340 00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:32,875 Now, give it a second. 341 00:13:33,791 --> 00:13:36,625 [man on TV] Bears getting into garbage has become a common theme 342 00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:38,666 as of late in the Newark area. 343 00:13:39,416 --> 00:13:40,375 [cell phone chimes] 344 00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:42,666 Mmm. 345 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:46,500 [man on TV] ...inside until trash day, and if you have to put it out early... 346 00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:48,500 -[sighs] "In bed." -[message transmits] 347 00:13:48,583 --> 00:13:50,041 Boring answer. 348 00:13:51,125 --> 00:13:52,083 [cell phone chimes] 349 00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,541 [TV continues indistinctly] 350 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,416 [inhales] 351 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,708 Here comes another one. "Pajamas." 352 00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:58,750 [message transmits] 353 00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:00,875 [cell phone chimes] 354 00:14:05,041 --> 00:14:05,875 What? 355 00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:07,458 [cell phone chimes] 356 00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,958 A wiener picture? 357 00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:13,375 [exhales nervously] 358 00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,666 God! Is this what people do? 359 00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:19,666 [sighs] 360 00:14:20,791 --> 00:14:23,500 All right, I gotta play along. Here we go. 361 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,041 [camera shutter clicks] 362 00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:29,583 [laughs] 363 00:14:30,791 --> 00:14:31,833 Oh, God. 364 00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:35,458 Dude, I thought you were full of shit. I was, like, there's no way. 365 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,625 And then, when you started just rattling off those wiener pics... 366 00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:40,916 Just, like... It was, like, wieners. 367 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,291 How did you... I mean, I changed all of my passwords. 368 00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:44,500 Yeah. I know, but... 369 00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,708 Your mother's maiden name and the last four of your soc, 370 00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:47,958 it's like... 371 00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:49,708 Anyway, here's the deal. 372 00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:52,625 Twenty years ago, they started a thing called "manscaping." 373 00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:54,541 Where you just kind of clean the brush. 374 00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:56,875 Some girls, they like it. 375 00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:59,208 No, they don't. They don't at all. 376 00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:01,208 I looked at your photos, and I was like, 377 00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:05,250 are the pubes coming out of the penis, or is the penis coming out of the pubes? 378 00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:07,416 Like, it was like a mystery. Like, full on. 379 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,708 I was like, "How do I solve this?" 380 00:15:09,791 --> 00:15:12,041 Anyway, I gotta see a picture of this chick, 381 00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:13,875 above the belt, dude. Come on. 382 00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:16,916 Holy shit. Is that real? 383 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,416 Dude, your Miss Right was Miss Maryland. 384 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,000 She graduated top of her class at Georgetown, 385 00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:25,708 two-sport collegiate athlete. 386 00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:27,833 You girls gossiping about The Barracuda again? 387 00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:30,875 Uh, no, but we will when you leave, 'cause you're a psycho. 388 00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:33,250 Yeah. Well, when I get promoted to president, 389 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,166 I may just have to tighten the belt on our online porn policy. 390 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,458 It's not porn. That's Tim's girlfriend. 391 00:15:38,541 --> 00:15:41,083 -Timmy's got a girlfriend? -Excuse me. 392 00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:42,875 Miss Maryland? 393 00:15:42,958 --> 00:15:44,166 You got to be kidding me. 394 00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:48,041 I'm not. She graduated top of her class, not on top of her professor, like you. 395 00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:50,416 I'll believe it when I see it. 396 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,416 Later, Siegfried and Doy. 397 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,291 -Okay. Good talk. -I'm Siegfried. 398 00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:56,583 I'm Doy, I guess. 399 00:15:56,666 --> 00:15:57,750 -No shit. -Who cares? 400 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,916 Anyway, you got to bring her to Hawaii, dude. 401 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,833 I can't bring her on a corporate retreat. 402 00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:05,333 Why not? Winstone would freak out if you brought a girl like that. 403 00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:06,833 -Uh... -She's amazing. 404 00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:10,125 What woman wouldn't want to leave Portland and go to the tropics? 405 00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,750 She's not gonna come. I've only known her a week. 406 00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:15,083 Dude, it's a no-brainer. Text her now. 407 00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:16,166 [groans] 408 00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:20,541 [cell phone chimes] 409 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,416 She said yes! 410 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,125 [laughing] Yeah! 411 00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:27,375 Have her email my assistant all of her info. 412 00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:29,333 I'll book you on the same flight. 413 00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:30,416 Oh, my God. 414 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:33,333 Aloha, motherfucker! I told you! Yes! 415 00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:35,916 I won! I won! 416 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,625 ["Small Spaces" playing] 417 00:16:51,416 --> 00:16:52,291 [blows] 418 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:57,916 Hey, buddy. 419 00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:01,458 Can you do me a huge favor and maybe, uh... 420 00:17:02,125 --> 00:17:03,375 check my breath for me? 421 00:17:03,916 --> 00:17:04,750 What's that, bud? 422 00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:06,333 I'm meeting this girl on the plane, 423 00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:09,583 and she's... incredible, and I don't want to blow it with her. 424 00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:11,833 -Oh. I got you, dude. -I know it sounds crazy. 425 00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:12,833 Give me a taste. 426 00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,083 [blows] 427 00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:18,833 Okay, one more time. 428 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,833 [blows] 429 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,666 Come on, man. Really bring it to me. 430 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,666 [blows] 431 00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:34,625 [sniffs] 432 00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,208 Smells good. 433 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,833 Did you eat dog shit this morning? 434 00:17:39,916 --> 00:17:41,625 I'm just kidding. You're good to go. 435 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:43,958 [cell phone chimes] 436 00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:46,041 Where is she? 437 00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:49,250 No. Wha... 438 00:17:49,958 --> 00:17:50,791 Fuck. 439 00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:52,125 [cell phone chimes] 440 00:17:53,666 --> 00:17:54,500 [chuckles] 441 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,000 [cell phone chimes] 442 00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,333 -[clattering] -[woman] God. 443 00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:01,416 Oh. Oh. 444 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,041 Ah. Ooh. 445 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,500 [chuckles] It's so great to see you! 446 00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:08,416 [squeals] 447 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,500 -Wh... -[meowing] 448 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,541 Wh... Wh... 449 00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:14,166 You smell so good. What is that? 450 00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:15,583 Is that soap? 451 00:18:15,916 --> 00:18:17,333 Sorry. I'm a little sweaty. I... 452 00:18:17,916 --> 00:18:19,500 I had a little TSA pat-down. 453 00:18:19,583 --> 00:18:21,291 Guess I'm too sexy. [chuckles] 454 00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,666 No, I had, uh... I had Sheila in my purse, 455 00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:26,750 but I got away with it because I told him it was a service knife. 456 00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:29,458 -So, don't worry. You're protected. -That's funny. 457 00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:30,541 -[laughs] -[chuckles] 458 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,958 What... What are you doing here? 459 00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:37,583 [funny voice] "What are you doing here?" "What are you doing here?" 460 00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,166 "What are you doing here?" Yeah. 461 00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,500 Are these for me? 462 00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:43,000 -Those aren't-- -[sniffs] You got me roses? 463 00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,000 That is so sweet. 464 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,000 Mmm. I want to motorboat 'em. 465 00:18:47,083 --> 00:18:48,333 [motorboats] 466 00:18:48,416 --> 00:18:49,625 [laughs] 467 00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:53,250 I've never flown first class. This is crazy. 468 00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,041 Wait. What's in this bag? 469 00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:57,583 What in the world? 470 00:18:58,125 --> 00:18:59,708 -Like, free stuff? -[softly] No! 471 00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:01,333 [Missy] Oh, my God. 472 00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:02,958 I didn't have any of this. 473 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,833 Deodorant? That's perfect. 474 00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:08,750 Tim... when I caught you climbing out of that bathroom window, 475 00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:12,500 I thought to myself, "He's just a flake like all the other guys," you know? 476 00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:15,125 Then I got that text from you, and I was just like... 477 00:19:16,041 --> 00:19:17,166 You saved my life. 478 00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,875 [inhales] No, actually, I didn't. 479 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,958 -This is actually just a big mis-- -Yes. You did. 480 00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:22,708 You're not just my soulmate, Tim. 481 00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:25,000 You're my savior. 482 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,916 [Missy] There I was. About to jump off the highest bridge in Portland. 483 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,500 -[cell phone chimes] -[Missy] But I didn't. 484 00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,916 Because it was one hell of a first date, 485 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,291 and it was fate. 486 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:36,833 N-- 487 00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:39,458 Thank you for not breaking my heart. 488 00:19:39,541 --> 00:19:41,458 -Because that would just be... -[sighs] 489 00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:43,291 ...disastrous for me. 490 00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:45,583 [sighs] 491 00:19:45,666 --> 00:19:48,416 -Can I get you something to drink? -Ooh, yeah. I'll have a tequila. 492 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:49,333 Make it two. 493 00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:50,625 Mmm, no. 494 00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:53,125 What? I'm sorry. He's an alcoholic. 495 00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:56,083 I'm not gonna let you fall off the wagon on my watch, mister. 496 00:19:56,666 --> 00:19:57,541 [mouthing] Make it two. 497 00:19:58,541 --> 00:20:00,416 -[Tim] What are you taking? -You are taking it. 498 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,583 -[grunts] -You have that. 499 00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:02,541 [swallows] [grunts] 500 00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:03,875 I swallowed that! 501 00:20:03,958 --> 00:20:05,583 -Good. -What the fuck is it? 502 00:20:05,666 --> 00:20:07,375 -It's a dog tranquilizer. -What? 503 00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:08,375 Good night. 504 00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:09,875 Ooh, ooh. No, no, no. No, no, no. 505 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,000 -Two for me. None for you. Okay. -[softly] Fuck! 506 00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:14,375 To the best weekend ever. [laughs] 507 00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:16,166 [woman on PA] The cabin doors are now locked. 508 00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:18,333 -[softly] Fuck. -[woman on PA] Please prepare for takeoff. 509 00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:27,500 [rhythmic rustling] 510 00:20:33,791 --> 00:20:34,625 [clicks tongue] 511 00:20:34,708 --> 00:20:37,083 How's that for a wake-up call, hmm? 512 00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,000 You like that? 513 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:39,208 Good Lord. 514 00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:41,666 -What are you doing? -Shh! He's sleeping. 515 00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,833 Don't worry. I was quiet like an assassin. 516 00:20:44,916 --> 00:20:46,708 But he's right there. 517 00:20:46,791 --> 00:20:49,791 Did you not want an upsy-downsy? I'm using lotion. 518 00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,625 I mean, it's nice. I-- 519 00:20:52,041 --> 00:20:54,708 But I just want to not spoil the weekend. 520 00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:57,041 -You know what I mean? Oh, shit. -[plane rattling] 521 00:20:57,625 --> 00:20:58,666 [yelping] 522 00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:01,416 [grunting] 523 00:21:02,291 --> 00:21:03,208 [moans] 524 00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:04,208 [exhales] 525 00:21:09,875 --> 00:21:10,708 Sorry. 526 00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:11,625 Tim. 527 00:21:12,541 --> 00:21:14,083 It was wonderful. 528 00:21:14,666 --> 00:21:15,666 Ugh! 529 00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:23,208 You're going to hell. 530 00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:27,166 -How long--? -Forty minutes. 531 00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,750 -Forty minutes... -Do you have a tissue? 532 00:21:29,666 --> 00:21:30,500 I-- 533 00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:31,583 Mmm. 534 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,208 I knew you were awake. Freak! 535 00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:37,750 ["Warning" playing] 536 00:21:37,833 --> 00:21:39,166 ♪ This is a warning ♪ 537 00:21:39,791 --> 00:21:42,958 ♪ We got to get down to this place ♪ 538 00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:45,791 ♪ This is a warning ♪ 539 00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:47,750 ♪ We're calling from miles away... ♪ 540 00:21:47,833 --> 00:21:50,875 Oh, my God! This is absolute paradise! 541 00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:52,750 Best second date ever! 542 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:56,125 I swear to God, if I see a sea turtle in that ocean, I am riding it! 543 00:21:56,208 --> 00:21:58,000 You can't ride the turtles. 544 00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,791 Well, what if they want to ride me? [chuckles] 545 00:22:00,875 --> 00:22:02,833 -That's inappropriate. -And disturbing. 546 00:22:02,916 --> 00:22:05,375 Okay, maybe you're inappropriate and disturbing. 547 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:08,750 -I'm just being nice to a goddamn turtle. -Have respect for the island. 548 00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:10,000 Shut the fuck up! 549 00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:11,708 [all shouting indistinctly] 550 00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:13,958 -You don't even know me! -Hey, what... 551 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,208 You don't even know me! 552 00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:17,291 -Nice to meet you. -I love kids. 553 00:22:17,375 --> 00:22:19,041 -Oh, I want kids so bad. -What are you-- 554 00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:21,000 Aloha, can I offer you a cocktail? 555 00:22:21,083 --> 00:22:22,541 Oh, what do we have here? 556 00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:26,250 We have a couple of local favorites. We have the Mai Tai or the Tropical Itch. 557 00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:29,291 If I get a tropical itch from this guy, I'm gonna be a tropical bitch! 558 00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:32,166 Thirty-five years on this planet, not one STD. 559 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,250 Mmm. [slurps] 560 00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:35,208 -Can you say the same? -Okay. Heh. Sorry. 561 00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:36,125 [Missy] Ooh! 562 00:22:36,583 --> 00:22:40,250 -[exhales] Uh, checking in for Morris. -Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Morris. 563 00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:42,166 Ooh, I like the sound of that. 564 00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:44,125 [grunts] I like the feel of that. 565 00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:46,291 [sniffs] I like the smell of that. 566 00:22:46,958 --> 00:22:49,541 Yo, aloha, bro. Can you point us to the spa, please? 567 00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:52,416 Oh-ho-ho-ho! Timmy! 568 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,000 What's up, buddy? 569 00:22:54,083 --> 00:22:55,375 What's going on there, Rich? 570 00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:56,666 -[Rich] Hey! -Hey, Julia. 571 00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:58,041 Hey, Tim. 572 00:22:58,125 --> 00:22:59,625 I'm Missy. Tim's girlfriend. 573 00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:01,291 -Hi. Hi. -[Rich] Oh! 574 00:23:01,375 --> 00:23:02,458 Tim's friend. We're friends. 575 00:23:02,541 --> 00:23:04,625 Oh, yeah. I think we soared way past the friend zone 576 00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:07,208 when I gave him the ol' Jergens Jerk on the plane ride over here. 577 00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:09,208 Sounds like somebody had a fun flight, huh? 578 00:23:09,291 --> 00:23:11,875 -No, she's joking around. -Yeah, I'm joking. 579 00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:14,541 -[mouthing] No, I'm not. -[Rich laughs] 580 00:23:14,625 --> 00:23:15,916 Z-z-z-z-z-z-z [coughs] 581 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:16,833 Wow. 582 00:23:16,916 --> 00:23:21,041 I'm sensing such a strong sexual connection between you two. 583 00:23:21,125 --> 00:23:22,958 Ah-swish! [laughs] 584 00:23:23,041 --> 00:23:24,166 She nailed us, huh? 585 00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:25,666 Oh, no, no. Not you two. 586 00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:27,875 You two. D-Do you have a history? 587 00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:30,208 [laughs] She doesn't know about you guys? 588 00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:31,250 -Know what? -[laughs] 589 00:23:31,833 --> 00:23:33,458 These two were freaking engaged. 590 00:23:33,958 --> 00:23:39,708 -He was the guy before. I am now the guy. -We should get going. We're gonna be late. 591 00:23:39,791 --> 00:23:41,625 All right, we'll catch up at the welcome mixer. 592 00:23:41,708 --> 00:23:43,916 -[Julia] Mm-hmm. -The spa's gotta be this way, babe. 593 00:23:44,666 --> 00:23:47,291 Well, well, well, Mr. Mystery. 594 00:23:47,375 --> 00:23:49,458 Any other deep, dark secrets you want to share? 595 00:23:49,541 --> 00:23:51,083 -That's so... -You know, it's fine. 596 00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:52,666 You're lucky I'm not the jealous type. 597 00:23:52,750 --> 00:23:56,250 In fact, if you want to fuckface me, I'm totally cool with it. 598 00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:00,166 Fuckface you? 599 00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:04,833 Yeah, you know, if you want to imagine her face on my face 600 00:24:04,916 --> 00:24:06,416 when we fuck, 601 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:09,041 I'm more than comfortable with that. 602 00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:12,958 Well, I'm definitely not comfortable with... 603 00:24:13,750 --> 00:24:14,625 any part of that. 604 00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:16,000 Okay. 605 00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:17,791 Can I get the keys? 606 00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:19,500 -Thank you. Have a-a nice day. -Thank you. 607 00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:20,791 Wait, honey. 608 00:24:21,375 --> 00:24:22,666 [Missy] Oh, my God! 609 00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:23,833 Are you rich? 610 00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:26,125 What the fuck is this? 611 00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:27,458 I made it! 612 00:24:27,541 --> 00:24:28,833 I made it! 613 00:24:28,916 --> 00:24:30,458 Yeah! 614 00:24:30,541 --> 00:24:32,750 All my teachers can eat my asshole! 615 00:24:32,833 --> 00:24:33,666 [gasps] 616 00:24:34,208 --> 00:24:36,291 "Aloha, Tim and Melissa." 617 00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:37,541 [gasps] 618 00:24:37,625 --> 00:24:38,750 I love that. 619 00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:40,041 I gotta warn you. 620 00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:42,500 Big Momma Spanky could get used to this. 621 00:24:42,583 --> 00:24:43,416 [laughs] 622 00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:46,083 Well, I mean, in fairness, it's just one weekend. 623 00:24:46,666 --> 00:24:48,250 I'm gonna bite into you like this. 624 00:24:48,875 --> 00:24:51,416 [chewing and moaning] 625 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,166 [mouthful] Oh, rose petals. 626 00:24:53,708 --> 00:24:56,041 What does lover boy have up his sleeve? 627 00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:57,000 [chuckles] 628 00:24:57,458 --> 00:24:59,041 -[gasps] -God damn. 629 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:01,583 -[Missy grunting] -[water splashing] 630 00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,166 Hey, are you okay in there? 631 00:25:04,250 --> 00:25:06,791 [Missy] I'm fine. I just fell in the toilet again. 632 00:25:06,875 --> 00:25:07,833 Help me. 633 00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:10,500 What-- What happened? 634 00:25:11,416 --> 00:25:12,625 [Missy] Just joshin'. 635 00:25:13,541 --> 00:25:14,541 Why don't you come in here 636 00:25:14,625 --> 00:25:17,666 so we can see what your pecker looks like when it's floating on the surface? 637 00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:20,583 Yeah. Missy, we need to talk. Um... 638 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:25,333 Where'd you go? 639 00:25:25,416 --> 00:25:26,875 -[chuckles] -[hissing] 640 00:25:28,583 --> 00:25:30,791 [in evil voice] I am Hellstar. 641 00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:33,500 Who dares to enter my lair? 642 00:25:33,583 --> 00:25:34,750 [blathers] 643 00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:37,375 Finally, someone normal to talk to. Hi, Hellstar. 644 00:25:37,458 --> 00:25:39,750 Oh. A mortal. 645 00:25:39,833 --> 00:25:44,375 Mmm. You know, the only one thing a mortal can do to please Hellstar 646 00:25:44,458 --> 00:25:47,333 is get on all fours, and arch your back, 647 00:25:47,416 --> 00:25:49,958 and submit to the master of darkness! 648 00:25:50,041 --> 00:25:51,583 [blathers] 649 00:25:53,041 --> 00:25:55,083 Right, okay, Hellstar. I mean, we'll get to all that. 650 00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:56,708 Uh, I have to run out for a few seconds. 651 00:25:56,791 --> 00:25:58,541 Oh, what? You're gonna leave? 652 00:25:58,833 --> 00:26:00,583 Right when it was getting good? 653 00:26:00,666 --> 00:26:01,916 [groans] 654 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:02,916 This is so dumb. 655 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,208 I have to go to an orientation mandatory mixer with my new boss. 656 00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:09,916 No one's allowed to skip it, so... [clicks tongue] 657 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,291 -I'm just gonna... [whistles] -Oh, wait. I'll come with you. 658 00:26:12,375 --> 00:26:14,000 -Let me just dry off. -No, no, no! No. No. 659 00:26:14,083 --> 00:26:15,125 You stay there. 660 00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:17,083 Relax. Have some champagne. 661 00:26:17,166 --> 00:26:19,958 Throw in some more bubbles, maybe a toaster, just splash around. 662 00:26:20,041 --> 00:26:21,291 And you soak for a long time. 663 00:26:21,375 --> 00:26:23,041 A long, long, long, long time. [laughs] 664 00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:24,708 Oh, Tim! 665 00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:26,125 You're so sweet. 666 00:26:26,708 --> 00:26:29,875 I don't know what I did to deserve you, but thank you. 667 00:26:29,958 --> 00:26:30,791 I will. 668 00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:33,500 Mmm. No. 669 00:26:33,583 --> 00:26:35,708 Okay. Catch you in a few. 670 00:26:35,916 --> 00:26:36,750 Stay in the tub. 671 00:26:36,833 --> 00:26:39,541 [Jack Winstone] And now that the merger is complete, 672 00:26:39,625 --> 00:26:42,708 I just want the entire C of A crew to know 673 00:26:42,791 --> 00:26:47,041 that I could not be more proud or pumped to be your new captain. 674 00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:49,083 Woo! Swish! [laughs] 675 00:26:49,166 --> 00:26:51,208 Got a lot of great things planned for this retreat. 676 00:26:51,291 --> 00:26:54,333 Especially the talent show, which I know we're all very excited about. 677 00:26:54,416 --> 00:26:57,250 And I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you 678 00:26:57,333 --> 00:26:58,750 and your better halves. 679 00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:00,166 Enjoy. 680 00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:01,458 [crowd cheering and applauding] 681 00:27:02,083 --> 00:27:03,083 There's the king. 682 00:27:03,166 --> 00:27:04,166 -There he is. -Hey. 683 00:27:04,250 --> 00:27:06,458 Dude, spoke to Winstone all about you. 684 00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:07,833 Totally tee'd you up. 685 00:27:07,916 --> 00:27:10,083 -Fuck. -"Fuck"? 686 00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:12,458 I screwed up so huge. 687 00:27:12,541 --> 00:27:13,375 What? 688 00:27:13,458 --> 00:27:15,416 The girl in my room is not who I thought she was. 689 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,375 That's your fault for trying to get to know her. 690 00:27:17,458 --> 00:27:18,416 That's on you, bud. 691 00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:21,041 No, remember that crazy blind date I had a while ago? 692 00:27:21,125 --> 00:27:23,750 This whole time I thought I was texting my dream girl, 693 00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:24,916 I'm texting that girl. 694 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,166 Dude, that happened to me. I accidentally sent my uncle a dick pic. 695 00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:32,291 He saw it, had a stroke. It was awful. It was like a nightmare for our family. 696 00:27:32,375 --> 00:27:34,416 I don't give a fuck about your uncle at all. 697 00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:36,125 This is real. What do I do? 698 00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:37,458 Dude, just come clean. 699 00:27:37,541 --> 00:27:40,333 I wanted to, but then she told me she was feeling suicidal 700 00:27:40,416 --> 00:27:41,625 until I started texting her. 701 00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:43,791 Who are we to get in the way of destiny, man? 702 00:27:43,875 --> 00:27:47,166 If her time's up, her time's up. She's spirit world. 703 00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:48,583 [Winstone] Where's Miss Maryland? 704 00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:49,875 -Mr. Winstone! -No-- 705 00:27:49,958 --> 00:27:52,250 -Sir, I'd like to introduce you-- -[Winstone] I know who he is. 706 00:27:52,875 --> 00:27:54,875 You don't think I'd buy a half-billion dollar company 707 00:27:54,958 --> 00:27:56,208 and not know its biggest assets? 708 00:27:56,291 --> 00:27:58,333 [laughs] Well, that's nice. Nice. 709 00:27:58,416 --> 00:28:00,208 Your name's been mentioned quite a bit, Jim. 710 00:28:00,291 --> 00:28:03,291 Oh. Actually, it's Tim. Tim Morris. But thank you, sir. 711 00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:05,791 -I have your coffee, sir. -I didn't want a coffee. 712 00:28:05,875 --> 00:28:06,708 Oh. 713 00:28:07,125 --> 00:28:08,083 Should I drink it? 714 00:28:08,750 --> 00:28:09,916 I don't care. 715 00:28:12,916 --> 00:28:16,000 So, where's this beauty of yours that Nate keeps bragging to me about? 716 00:28:16,083 --> 00:28:17,916 -Oh. -Wait, wait, wait, Tim. Get this. 717 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,833 -Mr. Winstone's wife was Miss Texas. -No! 718 00:28:21,916 --> 00:28:25,916 That's right. And before that, she dated Evander Holyfield. 719 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,250 -Oh, my God! -More like "holy shit". 720 00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:29,666 -Yeah. -[both laugh] 721 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,208 That's a good one, Ted. [laughs] 722 00:28:31,791 --> 00:28:33,125 Good. That's a good one. 723 00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:35,458 My husband, Paul, was a Guess Jeans model. 724 00:28:35,541 --> 00:28:38,083 I used to have really skinny legs and a great ass. 725 00:28:38,166 --> 00:28:41,583 They photoshopped my bottom half on Claudia Schiffer's torso. 726 00:28:41,666 --> 00:28:43,375 Who do you model for now? Cinnabon? 727 00:28:43,458 --> 00:28:45,708 -Huh? -You know, unfortunately, my beauty queen 728 00:28:45,791 --> 00:28:47,791 uh, isn't feeling quite herself today. 729 00:28:47,875 --> 00:28:48,708 Oh, is she sick? 730 00:28:48,791 --> 00:28:50,083 You could say that. 731 00:28:50,166 --> 00:28:52,791 You know, uh, I don't even know if we'll see her the whole weekend. 732 00:28:52,875 --> 00:28:55,125 She's suffering from severe jet lag. 733 00:28:55,208 --> 00:28:57,958 -From a five-hour flight? -Well, she also had flown in from Paris. 734 00:28:58,041 --> 00:28:59,541 -Fashion Week and all that. -Yeah. 735 00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:01,750 Oh, well, you know, that makes more sense. 736 00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:03,791 Nate tells me she's also one hell of an athlete. 737 00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:05,375 All-American tennis player. 738 00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:08,291 Yup. Uh, in the old days, she was. So, you know... 739 00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:11,083 Not to brag, but the wife and I are defending doubles champions 740 00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:12,000 at our country club. 741 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:14,416 So we might have to hook up a little mixed doubles match 742 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:15,666 with you and your little lady. 743 00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:18,291 Oh, yeah, a little afternoon foursome sounds fun. 744 00:29:18,375 --> 00:29:19,333 -[laughs] -Uh, hi... 745 00:29:19,416 --> 00:29:21,125 [Missy] Oh! Winstone. 746 00:29:21,208 --> 00:29:23,500 You didn't tell me he was a porker. He's a little pork pie. 747 00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:25,125 -[laughs] -No... [chuckles] 748 00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:27,750 -This is, uh, Mr. Winstone, right here. -Oh, that makes more sense. 749 00:29:27,833 --> 00:29:29,166 I'm sorry. You are? 750 00:29:29,250 --> 00:29:32,083 She who makes Tim cream his shorts. [laughs] 751 00:29:32,166 --> 00:29:33,500 I'm Missy. I'm Tim's little lady. 752 00:29:35,166 --> 00:29:37,041 Honey, you've had a little champagne today. 753 00:29:37,125 --> 00:29:38,250 -No, no. 151. -Okay. 754 00:29:38,333 --> 00:29:40,791 -Uh, can I talk to you for one second? -Oh, yeah. 755 00:29:40,875 --> 00:29:42,125 We're planning a surprise party. 756 00:29:42,208 --> 00:29:45,041 Oh, I'm getting a tongue lashing, not the good kind. [laughs] 757 00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:47,291 Okay, that old guy is a dark cloud. 758 00:29:47,375 --> 00:29:49,000 He's putting out some real negative energy. 759 00:29:49,083 --> 00:29:52,000 -That dark cloud is my new boss. -Oh, shit. 760 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:53,958 No shit, "Oh, shit." 761 00:29:54,041 --> 00:29:56,125 Toe shit, no shit, oh, shit. 762 00:29:56,583 --> 00:29:57,416 What? 763 00:29:57,500 --> 00:29:59,208 Tim. I'm so sorry. 764 00:29:59,291 --> 00:30:02,083 You two are not a good match. I don't think you should work here anymore. 765 00:30:02,166 --> 00:30:04,125 I'm working here. I've worked here for 20 years. 766 00:30:04,208 --> 00:30:05,125 So? 767 00:30:05,208 --> 00:30:09,166 Listen. I may have gone a little bit overboard in bragging about you, 768 00:30:09,250 --> 00:30:11,375 saying you were a two-sport collegiate athlete, 769 00:30:11,458 --> 00:30:14,291 and you may or may not have won a beauty contest in the past. 770 00:30:15,291 --> 00:30:17,125 Oh, my God. [chuckles] 771 00:30:17,208 --> 00:30:19,083 You're obsessed with me. 772 00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:20,833 [laughs] Oh, my God. Okay. 773 00:30:20,916 --> 00:30:22,625 Um, we're either gonna end up married, 774 00:30:22,708 --> 00:30:25,625 or I'm gonna end up naked and dead in a ravine somewhere. 775 00:30:25,708 --> 00:30:26,708 [grunts] [laughs] 776 00:30:26,791 --> 00:30:29,500 -I-I don't see that happening. -Which one? I'm down for either. 777 00:30:29,583 --> 00:30:30,541 Would you do me a favor? 778 00:30:30,625 --> 00:30:32,750 This is my company's corporate retreat. It's a big deal. 779 00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:34,916 -Yeah, huge. Yeah. -So, please, 780 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,500 will you keep things cool, calm, and very collected. 781 00:30:38,583 --> 00:30:39,958 You're so worried, Tim. 782 00:30:40,041 --> 00:30:42,666 Okay, I'm a people-person. Have you not noticed that? 783 00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:43,708 Yeah. 784 00:30:43,791 --> 00:30:47,083 I'm gonna have all these boring bankers eating out of the palm of my hand. 785 00:30:47,916 --> 00:30:48,791 [sighs] 786 00:30:48,875 --> 00:30:51,208 ♪ Feeling good, feeling good Feeling good ♪ 787 00:30:51,291 --> 00:30:52,333 ♪ All right... ♪ 788 00:30:52,416 --> 00:30:53,916 -I think about-- -Excuse us real quick. 789 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,250 Sorry, mahalo, everybody. Many, many mahalos. 790 00:30:56,333 --> 00:30:58,916 You've got to get Nostradamus the fuck out of here. 791 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,500 -Who? -Missy! 792 00:31:00,583 --> 00:31:03,125 She's giving psychic readings to the entire company. 793 00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:06,208 Could be a lot of horrible things coming, and it could happen at any point. 794 00:31:06,291 --> 00:31:09,125 I just talked to her! God damn it! 795 00:31:09,208 --> 00:31:10,041 Um... 796 00:31:10,125 --> 00:31:12,333 I'm seeing a little boy. His name's Calvin. 797 00:31:12,416 --> 00:31:13,666 Yes, that's Cal Jr. 798 00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:15,958 I'm Cal Sr. You're visualizing my son. 799 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,958 He's standing next to your grave. 800 00:31:18,541 --> 00:31:20,958 -What? I'm dead? -Mm-hmm. 801 00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:24,791 [stammers] Yeah, you can live. Just don't get on a plane in the next five months. 802 00:31:24,875 --> 00:31:27,666 Well, we're on an island. How am I supposed to get back to Portland? 803 00:31:27,750 --> 00:31:29,958 Get on my plane. I'm gonna live a long, long, long time. 804 00:31:30,041 --> 00:31:32,791 -Excuse me. Hey. Can I steal her? -That's my boyfriend. 805 00:31:32,875 --> 00:31:35,250 [laughs] You're fucked, dude. 806 00:31:35,333 --> 00:31:37,250 What happened to being cool, calm, and collected? 807 00:31:37,333 --> 00:31:39,166 -Hey. Missy. -Ooh, yeah. Gimme. 808 00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:41,458 So, uh, who do you see winning the Super Bowl this year? 809 00:31:41,541 --> 00:31:42,791 I'll be right with you, One Leg. 810 00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:44,083 [man gasps] "One Leg"? 811 00:31:44,583 --> 00:31:47,666 You're gonna lose a leg in ten years in a horrific motorcycle accident. 812 00:31:47,750 --> 00:31:49,583 -What? -The authorities will find it. 813 00:31:50,083 --> 00:31:52,083 They'll put it on backwards. You're gonna be fucked. 814 00:31:52,166 --> 00:31:55,000 You know what, Titone? Sorry. Crystal ball's shut down. 815 00:31:55,791 --> 00:31:56,625 Woo! 816 00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:59,125 -[slurps] -How many of those have you had? 817 00:32:11,125 --> 00:32:11,958 Two. 818 00:32:12,041 --> 00:32:13,958 Wrong. I think it's time we hit the road. 819 00:32:14,041 --> 00:32:15,333 -[music starts] -Ooh, the show! 820 00:32:15,416 --> 00:32:16,583 -Hold this. -Not holding your-- 821 00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:18,500 -Don't be a bitch, Tim. -[Tim groans] 822 00:32:18,583 --> 00:32:20,000 [Missy] Wait for me! 823 00:32:20,750 --> 00:32:22,791 Cough it up, Morris. Who's the runaway train? 824 00:32:22,875 --> 00:32:25,833 'Cause that is definitely not the beauty queen I saw on your computer. 825 00:32:26,416 --> 00:32:29,208 [Tim] No, that's her. You just saw a bad picture. 826 00:32:29,291 --> 00:32:31,250 [scoffs] Don't worry, Morris. 827 00:32:31,333 --> 00:32:32,708 Your secret's safe with me. 828 00:32:36,416 --> 00:32:37,666 ["Champagne" plays] 829 00:32:37,750 --> 00:32:38,583 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 830 00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:39,875 ♪ On my champagne ♪ 831 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,416 ♪ All over my champagne ♪ 832 00:32:41,791 --> 00:32:44,375 -♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪ -♪ On my champagne ♪ 833 00:32:44,458 --> 00:32:46,500 ♪ We can get it crackin' We can do the damn thang ♪ 834 00:32:46,583 --> 00:32:48,916 ♪ I show up on the scene In that envy money green ♪ 835 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,000 ♪ Shorty steady hatin' 'Cause I'm in they boyfriends' dreams ♪ 836 00:32:52,083 --> 00:32:54,416 ♪ They be talkin' hair and shit Bitch, I'm about that green ♪ 837 00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:57,083 ♪ So they see my by the bar And they know money ain't a thing ♪ 838 00:32:57,666 --> 00:32:59,708 ♪ Bitch, brake And best watch what you say ♪ 839 00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:02,166 ♪ 'Cause we came here to party hard And there's no other way ♪ 840 00:33:02,250 --> 00:33:05,000 ♪ Mink coats, no coat check Kush we smokin' ♪ 841 00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:07,708 ♪ Bitch, get out my way Can't you see I'm trying to pose? ♪ 842 00:33:07,791 --> 00:33:10,541 -♪ Red lipstick all over my champagne ♪ -♪ On my champagne ♪ 843 00:33:10,625 --> 00:33:13,250 -♪ Pink lipstick all over my champagne ♪ -♪ On my champagne ♪ 844 00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:15,458 ♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪ 845 00:33:15,541 --> 00:33:18,208 ♪ We can get it crackin' We can do the damn thang ♪ 846 00:33:18,291 --> 00:33:20,750 -♪ Red lipstick all over my champagne ♪ -♪ On my champagne ♪ 847 00:33:20,833 --> 00:33:23,500 -♪ Pink lipstick all over my champagne ♪ -♪ On my champagne ♪ 848 00:33:23,583 --> 00:33:26,083 -♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪ -♪ On my champagne ♪ 849 00:33:26,166 --> 00:33:28,875 ♪ We can get it crackin' We can do the damn thang ♪ 850 00:33:28,958 --> 00:33:30,041 [song ends] 851 00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:31,083 [Missy groans] 852 00:33:32,125 --> 00:33:34,541 Where's my Tropical Itch? 853 00:33:35,125 --> 00:33:39,000 I got itchy from my bitchy, witchy, skitchy, kitchy-koo. 854 00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:42,291 And it's Mrs. Morris. Keep it comin'. 855 00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:44,625 Missy, you sure know how to shake up a party. 856 00:33:44,708 --> 00:33:45,541 Mmm. Thanks. 857 00:33:45,625 --> 00:33:47,958 By the way, I'm Jess. You probably heard of me. 858 00:33:48,541 --> 00:33:49,958 They call me "The Barracuda." 859 00:33:51,583 --> 00:33:54,583 Ho! Let's see Evander Holyfield make that shot, huh? 860 00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:57,208 -[Winstone chuckles] -[laughs] Not with those brick hands. 861 00:33:57,291 --> 00:33:59,458 You know, he still calls every once in a while. 862 00:33:59,541 --> 00:34:01,125 Just to check in with my wife. 863 00:34:01,208 --> 00:34:03,750 I'll play you some voicemails that'll blow your mind. 864 00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:06,750 -Just desperate. Horny. -[laughs] 865 00:34:07,333 --> 00:34:09,916 -Says a lot about your wife, huh? -Yeah, she's a gorgeous woman. 866 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,083 I'm damn proud of what she's accomplished. 867 00:34:12,166 --> 00:34:15,000 There's not many people can say they've put Evander Holyfield on his back. 868 00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:16,166 [laughs] 869 00:34:17,541 --> 00:34:20,500 Yo, Morris. Your date's about to jump off a fucking cliff. 870 00:34:22,083 --> 00:34:22,916 What? 871 00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:28,375 [crowd] Go, go, go! 872 00:34:28,458 --> 00:34:31,375 Hey! What are you doing? Missy, what the hell's going on? 873 00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:33,958 What? I'm about to do a triple backflip. They're begging for it. 874 00:34:34,041 --> 00:34:36,291 I mean, what the hell are you doing jumping off of a cliff? 875 00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:39,583 Well, I told that Barracuda bitch I was the star diver of my college. 876 00:34:39,666 --> 00:34:41,875 -Why would you say that? -'Cause you told her 877 00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:44,041 I was a two-sport collegiate athlete. 878 00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:47,958 I thought I was safe because I didn't see any diving boards in sight, but... 879 00:34:48,041 --> 00:34:49,750 Uh-oh. Uh. [laughs] 880 00:34:49,833 --> 00:34:52,416 Okay, well, I'm not letting you jump, right? I don't want you dying. 881 00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:55,291 Look how much he cares about me, everybody. He loves me. 882 00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:59,000 -Guys, show's over. No one's diving today. -[screaming] I love you, Tim Morris! 883 00:34:59,083 --> 00:35:00,166 -Whoa! -[thuds] 884 00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:01,083 [Tim] Shit! 885 00:35:01,625 --> 00:35:03,208 -Shit! Oh, my God! -[Missy screams] 886 00:35:03,791 --> 00:35:04,833 -[screams] -[all exclaim] 887 00:35:04,916 --> 00:35:06,791 [Missy] Jesus! Fuck! [grunts] 888 00:35:07,416 --> 00:35:08,958 [screams] [grunts] 889 00:35:09,041 --> 00:35:11,208 -Oh, fuck! -Oh, my God! 890 00:35:12,916 --> 00:35:16,291 Don't think I've ever seen anyone dive in the ocean... and miss. 891 00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:17,916 [groans] 892 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,083 [laughs] 893 00:35:19,583 --> 00:35:21,291 She's alive! 894 00:35:22,375 --> 00:35:23,375 -[Missy groans] -Damn it! 895 00:35:23,458 --> 00:35:25,750 [Missy] Don't fuck with the Hellstar! 896 00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:28,291 Please tell me somebody got that on video-- 897 00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:34,166 ["Nightmares" playing] 898 00:35:39,958 --> 00:35:42,041 Real life of the party. 899 00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:44,750 [Tim grunts] 900 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:47,875 [groans] 901 00:35:48,875 --> 00:35:49,791 [exhales] 902 00:35:51,458 --> 00:35:52,750 ♪ Oh... ♪ 903 00:35:54,083 --> 00:35:55,375 [sighs] 904 00:35:56,541 --> 00:35:57,375 Nope. 905 00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:01,500 Mmm. Dog pills. 906 00:36:06,458 --> 00:36:07,833 [woman moaning] 907 00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:09,166 [woman] You're my man. 908 00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:11,041 You're the only man for me. 909 00:36:11,125 --> 00:36:14,166 [grunts] I miss you so much. I want you so bad. 910 00:36:14,250 --> 00:36:16,583 You dirty little dog, you bury that bone. 911 00:36:16,666 --> 00:36:18,625 -Huh? -Oh, you bury it. 912 00:36:18,708 --> 00:36:19,833 -Yeah, you bury it! -Ow! 913 00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,541 -You bury it! -Aah! 914 00:36:21,625 --> 00:36:24,166 -[screaming] You bury it! -Oh! 915 00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:25,125 [choking sounds] 916 00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:26,416 -Missy? -[panting] 917 00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:29,083 -What are we doing?! -Um, having sex? 918 00:36:29,416 --> 00:36:31,458 You kept jamming your little morning wood into my back 919 00:36:31,541 --> 00:36:33,375 and saying, "Oh, I want you so bad." 920 00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:34,375 [laughs] 921 00:36:34,458 --> 00:36:36,833 Oh, you're fuckfacing me, aren't you? Cool! 922 00:36:36,916 --> 00:36:38,833 -No, no, I'm not! No. -Yes, you are! 923 00:36:38,916 --> 00:36:41,166 Yeah, it's okay. I'm doing it to you, too, Simon Cowell. 924 00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:43,875 Now close your eyes and tell me I suck at singing! 925 00:36:43,958 --> 00:36:44,958 [screaming] 926 00:36:45,041 --> 00:36:46,375 You're going to Hollywood! 927 00:36:47,125 --> 00:36:48,958 [rooster crows] 928 00:36:49,041 --> 00:36:50,125 [Tim] I'm coming now. 929 00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,500 -[spits] -[Nate] Where's Godzilla? 930 00:36:51,583 --> 00:36:54,041 -She's sleeping. -Oh, my God! You fucked her, didn't you? 931 00:36:54,125 --> 00:36:55,500 -No, I didn't. -You sound defensive. 932 00:36:55,583 --> 00:36:57,583 -Nate, I did not. -Did you stand on a phone book? 933 00:36:57,666 --> 00:36:58,708 I didn't fuck her, I swear. 934 00:36:58,791 --> 00:37:00,833 -Swear on your grandma's life? -Fine. She fucked me. 935 00:37:00,916 --> 00:37:02,333 -See you soon. -I knew it, you sick-- 936 00:37:02,416 --> 00:37:03,500 [disconnects call] 937 00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:06,041 [Missy snoring loudly] 938 00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:11,500 [snoring continues] 939 00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:34,291 [Winstone] Welcome to Mr. Winstone's version of Shark Tank! 940 00:37:34,375 --> 00:37:36,416 -[man] Yeah! -[crowd applauding] 941 00:37:39,083 --> 00:37:40,125 I don't want coffee. 942 00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:43,375 Now, this is the real shark tank. 943 00:37:43,458 --> 00:37:47,208 There's no lights, no cameras, but one whole hell of a lot more action. 944 00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:51,708 Because, you see, here, instead of facing Mark Cuban or Mr. Wonderful, 945 00:37:51,791 --> 00:37:54,291 you'll be facing actual sharks, 946 00:37:54,375 --> 00:37:58,666 which my new friend Komante here tells me are known all too well in these waters. 947 00:37:58,750 --> 00:37:59,583 Komante? 948 00:38:03,666 --> 00:38:06,041 There's sharks all over this goddamn place. 949 00:38:07,041 --> 00:38:08,833 Komante, uh, what happened to your fingers? 950 00:38:09,416 --> 00:38:10,250 I... 951 00:38:11,041 --> 00:38:12,333 [exhaling] 952 00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,083 Huh. 953 00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:16,250 -Oh, my God. -[Winstone laughs] 954 00:38:16,333 --> 00:38:20,333 I warned you there'd be no weak-ass trust fall kind of crap this weekend. 955 00:38:20,416 --> 00:38:22,291 And so, without further ado, 956 00:38:22,875 --> 00:38:24,291 what do you say we set sail? 957 00:38:24,375 --> 00:38:25,333 -Woo! -Let's do it! 958 00:38:25,416 --> 00:38:26,625 [crowd applauding] 959 00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,708 Let's go fuck up some sharks. 960 00:38:28,791 --> 00:38:30,041 [laughs] 961 00:38:30,125 --> 00:38:30,958 [Winstone laughs] 962 00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:32,333 [Missy] Timmy! 963 00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:34,500 Don't take off! 964 00:38:35,250 --> 00:38:36,166 Oh, shit. 965 00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:37,208 Go, go. 966 00:38:37,291 --> 00:38:39,083 I'm coming, Timmy! 967 00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:40,416 Go, go, go, go, go! 968 00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:41,833 Oh, shit. Let's go. 969 00:38:41,916 --> 00:38:43,583 -Hey, help me with the rope. -[Missy] Tim! 970 00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:46,250 Thank you. We gotta get going. Come on! What are we doing? 971 00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:47,916 Let's go on this piece of shit. 972 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,291 -Go! Hustle! Go! -I'm coming! 973 00:38:50,375 --> 00:38:51,416 [Tim] She's catching up. 974 00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:52,916 You fucking cheetah. My God. 975 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,375 Hold the fucking boat! 976 00:38:54,958 --> 00:38:57,500 -Shit. -I love you, Tim Morris! 977 00:39:21,708 --> 00:39:22,750 [panting] 978 00:39:23,416 --> 00:39:24,458 Oh, shit. 979 00:39:24,541 --> 00:39:26,875 [grunting] 980 00:39:26,958 --> 00:39:29,333 There she is. [laughing] Hey... 981 00:39:29,416 --> 00:39:30,250 [spits] 982 00:39:31,458 --> 00:39:33,833 [in evil voice] You can't stop the Hellstar! 983 00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:35,041 [Tim] No, no. 984 00:39:35,125 --> 00:39:37,166 [laughs] There's my baby. 985 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,500 Oh, my God! You made it. 986 00:39:40,083 --> 00:39:40,916 Yeah, I did. 987 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,375 -Let's join the party. -Hey. 988 00:39:45,708 --> 00:39:47,166 [dramatic music plays] 989 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,791 [Winstone] Well, Stuart, any sharks? 990 00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:55,416 Unfortunately not, sir. But I think I saw some salmon. 991 00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:56,500 Salmon? 992 00:39:56,833 --> 00:39:57,666 Jesus! 993 00:39:58,458 --> 00:40:00,708 All right, that's it. I'm going back down. 994 00:40:00,791 --> 00:40:04,208 We don't head back to the hotel until we see at least one goddamn shark. 995 00:40:05,083 --> 00:40:06,416 Ted! 996 00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:07,708 You and me. Let's go. 997 00:40:07,791 --> 00:40:10,833 It's Tim, sir, but, uh... you know what? I probably shouldn't right now. 998 00:40:10,916 --> 00:40:13,166 Why not? You haven't even been in the water yet. 999 00:40:13,250 --> 00:40:15,416 -[man laughs] -You're not chicken shit, are you? 1000 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,208 [laughs] No. 1001 00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:19,458 Definitely not chicken shit. No, never chicken shit. 1002 00:40:19,541 --> 00:40:22,375 -Well, then, what's the matter? -It's actually, it's... It's more Missy. 1003 00:40:22,458 --> 00:40:25,083 She's uh... She suffers from severe seasickness. 1004 00:40:25,166 --> 00:40:26,375 No, I don't. 1005 00:40:26,458 --> 00:40:29,375 Yes, you do. You... And you just got over that jet lag. 1006 00:40:29,458 --> 00:40:31,166 -But I want to go down there. Seems fun. -No. 1007 00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,166 But, you know, anyone can do it. I won't get mad. 1008 00:40:33,250 --> 00:40:35,916 -You can go. You can go. I'll go last. -Tim, you need to go. 1009 00:40:36,458 --> 00:40:37,291 [whispers] Do it. 1010 00:40:37,375 --> 00:40:40,916 I don't need to go. And you're not fucking fine, remember? 1011 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,166 You're not fucking fine, and I need to be with you. 1012 00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:46,125 No, you fucking don't! 1013 00:40:46,625 --> 00:40:49,916 Go! Before I bitch-slap you in front of all these motherfuckers. 1014 00:40:51,416 --> 00:40:52,250 We were... 1015 00:40:52,333 --> 00:40:54,250 -We were goofing around on my end. -Go. 1016 00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:01,791 Are you sure you should be doing this? 1017 00:41:03,125 --> 00:41:04,166 Oh. [chuckles] 1018 00:41:04,791 --> 00:41:06,416 Uh, sure, I'm sure. 1019 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,083 I ain't "scurred." 1020 00:41:09,958 --> 00:41:10,916 No, I'm cool. 1021 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:11,833 Cool. 1022 00:41:13,208 --> 00:41:14,875 But as we both know, you're claustrophobic. 1023 00:41:14,958 --> 00:41:18,416 Can't imagine anything more claustrophobic than being confined to a cage. 1024 00:41:19,125 --> 00:41:20,041 Yeah. 1025 00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:21,875 I know this is a really big weekend for you, 1026 00:41:21,958 --> 00:41:23,666 and you've worked so hard for this promotion. 1027 00:41:23,750 --> 00:41:27,166 I just don't know that this is the best opportunity to impress your boss. 1028 00:41:27,833 --> 00:41:28,833 Tim, I just... 1029 00:41:29,625 --> 00:41:32,458 -I would never want you to-- -[Winstone] Let's go! Daylight's burning. 1030 00:41:32,541 --> 00:41:34,916 We're not gonna see any Great Whites up on the fucking deck. 1031 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,125 [Tim] Ah... 1032 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,500 That's what I'm talking about! 1033 00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:43,166 Let's get this wussy wet. 1034 00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:44,666 [laughs] 1035 00:41:45,416 --> 00:41:46,958 [sucks air] 1036 00:41:48,375 --> 00:41:49,500 [sucks air] 1037 00:41:49,583 --> 00:41:54,000 [expelling air] 1038 00:41:54,791 --> 00:41:55,625 It's okay. 1039 00:41:55,708 --> 00:41:57,125 [sucks air] 1040 00:41:57,208 --> 00:41:59,458 -You're good. Go ahead, grab it. -Put that in my mouth now? 1041 00:41:59,541 --> 00:42:01,916 -Yeah, it goes right in your mouth. -Yeah, Ted! 1042 00:42:02,875 --> 00:42:03,958 Hey. 1043 00:42:04,333 --> 00:42:06,416 If you see the shark that did this to me, 1044 00:42:07,208 --> 00:42:08,250 you tell him, 1045 00:42:08,708 --> 00:42:09,625 from me... 1046 00:42:10,458 --> 00:42:11,750 "Wassup? 1047 00:42:11,833 --> 00:42:13,625 Wassup, baby?" 1048 00:42:13,708 --> 00:42:16,000 Excuse me. I gotta take this. Wassup? 1049 00:42:21,541 --> 00:42:22,375 [muffled grunt] 1050 00:42:25,250 --> 00:42:27,250 [muffled grunts] 1051 00:42:30,541 --> 00:42:31,791 [muffled grunts] 1052 00:42:32,166 --> 00:42:33,083 [muffled scream] 1053 00:42:33,166 --> 00:42:34,250 [muffled groan] 1054 00:42:34,666 --> 00:42:36,125 [muffled groans] 1055 00:42:36,208 --> 00:42:37,291 [muffled grunt] 1056 00:42:38,166 --> 00:42:39,625 [toilet flushes] 1057 00:42:53,583 --> 00:42:54,416 [squeals] 1058 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,541 [humming] 1059 00:43:02,166 --> 00:43:03,166 Oh, hey, what is that? 1060 00:43:04,041 --> 00:43:05,000 Is that chum? 1061 00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:07,333 It says "No chum." 1062 00:43:07,416 --> 00:43:08,625 It's illegal! 1063 00:43:08,708 --> 00:43:10,083 Okay. Well, there's no sharks, 1064 00:43:10,166 --> 00:43:11,833 so I'm trying to make it a little more fun. 1065 00:43:11,916 --> 00:43:14,625 This is supposed to be our lunch. We're gonna eat this later. 1066 00:43:14,708 --> 00:43:15,541 It's soup! 1067 00:43:15,625 --> 00:43:17,125 What happens if sharks smell chum? 1068 00:43:17,208 --> 00:43:19,458 -They go fucking ape shit! -[Missy] Good. 1069 00:43:19,541 --> 00:43:20,625 -Give me that! -Hey! 1070 00:43:20,708 --> 00:43:21,916 -[grunts] Give me-- -Hey! 1071 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,458 -Let go of it, man! -Give me that! 1072 00:43:23,541 --> 00:43:24,500 [Missy] Stop it! 1073 00:43:24,583 --> 00:43:25,583 -[grunting] -[screams] 1074 00:43:36,541 --> 00:43:37,375 [gagging] 1075 00:43:37,458 --> 00:43:38,708 [vomits] 1076 00:43:45,625 --> 00:43:46,916 [muffled grunting] 1077 00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:49,125 [muffled grunting] 1078 00:43:49,625 --> 00:43:50,625 [vomiting] 1079 00:43:51,708 --> 00:43:54,541 [retching] 1080 00:43:57,291 --> 00:43:58,458 [chuckling] Shark! 1081 00:43:58,541 --> 00:43:59,916 -Shark! Where? -[laughs] 1082 00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:03,958 It's what I do. I find sharks! Yes! 1083 00:44:07,791 --> 00:44:09,416 Let's fucking party. 1084 00:44:11,958 --> 00:44:13,250 [muffled screaming] 1085 00:44:13,333 --> 00:44:14,833 [muffled dialogue] 1086 00:44:14,916 --> 00:44:16,500 [muffled panicked whimpering] 1087 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,333 [Tim continues whimpering] 1088 00:44:27,416 --> 00:44:30,333 [muffled screaming] 1089 00:44:34,625 --> 00:44:35,916 I don't know. I liked Free Willy. 1090 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,833 Thought it was good. I can see why you wouldn't. 1091 00:44:37,916 --> 00:44:40,500 I didn't think the whale was likable. Got to have a likable whale. 1092 00:44:40,583 --> 00:44:43,208 I mean, otherwise, if the whale's an asshole, who's gonna care? 1093 00:44:43,750 --> 00:44:46,625 [muffled grunts] 1094 00:44:46,708 --> 00:44:48,500 [muffled screaming] 1095 00:44:49,041 --> 00:44:50,416 [muffled] Fucking asshole! 1096 00:44:53,708 --> 00:44:54,791 [dance music playing] 1097 00:44:59,333 --> 00:45:02,666 [muffled screaming] 1098 00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:04,250 [gasps] Help! 1099 00:45:04,333 --> 00:45:05,458 Holy shit! It's in the cage. 1100 00:45:05,541 --> 00:45:07,666 -Help! It's a monster! -[Nate] Tim! 1101 00:45:07,750 --> 00:45:09,041 [Tim] Help! 1102 00:45:09,125 --> 00:45:09,958 Tim! 1103 00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:11,125 [grunts] 1104 00:45:12,041 --> 00:45:13,250 Fuck you! 1105 00:45:14,458 --> 00:45:17,875 [grunting] 1106 00:45:17,958 --> 00:45:20,583 You took three fingers, but you left the nub! 1107 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,708 -[gasps] -[crowd screams] 1108 00:45:22,791 --> 00:45:24,208 [woman] Oh, my God! 1109 00:45:24,791 --> 00:45:25,708 [man] Oh, my God. 1110 00:45:26,750 --> 00:45:28,083 [Komante panting] 1111 00:45:28,166 --> 00:45:29,416 -[gasps] [screaming] -[Nate] Tim! 1112 00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,166 Oh, my God! 1113 00:45:31,666 --> 00:45:33,666 -Get me out! -[Missy] Oh, my God! 1114 00:45:33,750 --> 00:45:36,166 -[Tim panting] -Oh, my God! Tim! 1115 00:45:36,250 --> 00:45:38,541 -I thought we lost you. -[groans] Get her the fuck off me. 1116 00:45:38,625 --> 00:45:40,041 -Wait, wait, wait. -[Tim coughs] 1117 00:45:40,125 --> 00:45:41,333 [Rich] Where's Winstone? 1118 00:45:44,041 --> 00:45:45,000 [screams] 1119 00:45:45,083 --> 00:45:46,916 Oh, my God! You killed him! 1120 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,041 [man 1] Get him up. 1121 00:45:48,125 --> 00:45:49,666 [man 2] You, in the back, move on back. 1122 00:45:49,750 --> 00:45:51,958 Everybody back off. I'm certified in CPR. 1123 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:54,125 Okay, Mr. Winstone. 1124 00:45:55,291 --> 00:45:57,041 -[grunts] -Are you sure you should do this? 1125 00:45:57,125 --> 00:45:57,958 Back off! 1126 00:46:00,041 --> 00:46:01,250 -[Missy panting] -[spits] 1127 00:46:01,333 --> 00:46:02,791 [crowd cheering] 1128 00:46:02,875 --> 00:46:03,750 Oh! 1129 00:46:04,833 --> 00:46:05,791 -Fuck yeah! -Thank God! 1130 00:46:07,958 --> 00:46:08,958 Do me next. 1131 00:46:10,166 --> 00:46:11,708 Any... Any pretty lady. 1132 00:46:12,333 --> 00:46:14,166 Any pretty lady. Do me. 1133 00:46:15,375 --> 00:46:17,250 It's wide open. Anybody! 1134 00:46:18,291 --> 00:46:21,791 I was just trying to create a magical moment between you and your boss. 1135 00:46:22,125 --> 00:46:25,250 Didn't you see that sign that said, "Absolutely no chumming"? 1136 00:46:25,333 --> 00:46:28,708 It wasn't chum. It was my throw-up from smelling the chum. 1137 00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:30,541 What were you thinking, throwing up, then, 1138 00:46:30,625 --> 00:46:33,375 directly over the shark cage that I was in? 1139 00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,500 You know, you need to take a chill pill, okay? 1140 00:46:35,583 --> 00:46:38,833 Oh, why don't you write me a prescription? You're a fucking doctor of 50,000 things. 1141 00:46:38,916 --> 00:46:41,125 Actually, I would never write a prescription for something 1142 00:46:41,208 --> 00:46:42,583 if I'm not certified to do so. 1143 00:46:43,166 --> 00:46:46,291 What? I already said I'm sorry I almost killed your boss. 1144 00:46:46,375 --> 00:46:48,500 -What more do you want? -Not to almost kill my boss. 1145 00:46:48,583 --> 00:46:49,625 It would be a huge help. 1146 00:46:49,708 --> 00:46:50,875 Okay, you know what, Tim? 1147 00:46:50,958 --> 00:46:53,541 If you want some girl who's just gonna sit at the hotel 1148 00:46:53,625 --> 00:46:55,166 and just be so happy every night 1149 00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:57,458 like a boring sack of potatoes you get to fuck 1150 00:46:57,541 --> 00:46:59,583 and then she could just not talk all day, 1151 00:46:59,666 --> 00:47:01,708 well, then, you brought the wrong Missy! 1152 00:47:01,791 --> 00:47:03,000 Oh! 1153 00:47:03,083 --> 00:47:04,166 Did I... [scoffs] 1154 00:47:04,250 --> 00:47:06,083 -Where are you going? -Oh, fuck you. 1155 00:47:06,666 --> 00:47:08,041 -[cell phone chimes] -Jeez. 1156 00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:11,750 Oh, snap. 1157 00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:16,458 Whoa! 1158 00:47:20,458 --> 00:47:22,000 [coughs] [grunts] 1159 00:47:22,083 --> 00:47:24,791 [heaving] 1160 00:47:24,875 --> 00:47:27,750 [continues heaving] 1161 00:47:27,833 --> 00:47:29,291 [coughs] 1162 00:47:36,291 --> 00:47:37,750 [Missy] Supposedly, he's 5'7", 1163 00:47:37,833 --> 00:47:39,708 which is weird, because his grandma is 6'1". 1164 00:47:39,791 --> 00:47:41,875 But it doesn't bother me. I just wear flats around him. 1165 00:47:41,958 --> 00:47:43,541 [Tim] Good God, this blab-alanche. 1166 00:47:43,625 --> 00:47:45,291 -[Missy] If we ever have kids-- -[Tim] Hey. 1167 00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:46,250 Missy. 1168 00:47:46,916 --> 00:47:48,458 -Can you come in? -Yeah. Hi, Tim. 1169 00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:50,333 Look. 1170 00:47:51,250 --> 00:47:52,291 I know you're sorry, okay? 1171 00:47:52,375 --> 00:47:54,375 Don't degrade yourself by begging for my forgiveness. 1172 00:47:54,458 --> 00:47:57,625 -I'm actually not. -You gotta meet our neighbor, Barbara. 1173 00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,791 She and her husband heard us going at it last night. 1174 00:47:59,875 --> 00:48:01,875 -[mumbles] -They almost called security. 1175 00:48:01,958 --> 00:48:04,500 They thought there was a little girl being tortured in here. 1176 00:48:05,083 --> 00:48:06,875 -You're the little girl. -Yes, I understand. 1177 00:48:06,958 --> 00:48:08,125 Did you? Did you get that? 1178 00:48:08,208 --> 00:48:09,666 -In that scenario, yes. -Mm-hmm. 1179 00:48:09,750 --> 00:48:10,791 I feel bad for her though. 1180 00:48:10,875 --> 00:48:12,791 She said her husband hasn't made a noise like that 1181 00:48:12,875 --> 00:48:14,541 since their honeymoon 30 years ago. 1182 00:48:15,125 --> 00:48:18,083 So, I gave her some free tips. [clicks tongue] 1183 00:48:18,166 --> 00:48:19,166 No, no, don't do that. 1184 00:48:19,791 --> 00:48:21,041 -Do what? -Give tips. 1185 00:48:21,125 --> 00:48:22,250 People don't like tips. 1186 00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:23,791 -People love tips. -No. 1187 00:48:23,875 --> 00:48:24,958 -They do. -No. 1188 00:48:25,041 --> 00:48:26,541 -They like advice tips. -No. 1189 00:48:26,625 --> 00:48:28,166 -Cash tips. -No. 1190 00:48:28,250 --> 00:48:29,708 -Your dick tip. -Hey! No. Missy. 1191 00:48:29,791 --> 00:48:31,666 -They love your dick tip. -Missy. Missy! 1192 00:48:34,625 --> 00:48:35,791 -I'm just try-- -Your dick tip! 1193 00:48:35,875 --> 00:48:37,458 -Don't hit it right on-- -Let me touch it! 1194 00:48:37,541 --> 00:48:39,000 -You touched it. -You're such a bitch. 1195 00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:41,000 Come on. Listen. I'm sorry. 1196 00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:42,083 -All right. -Now... 1197 00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:44,250 I have to go meet with my team, 1198 00:48:44,333 --> 00:48:46,125 and you need to stay away. 1199 00:48:46,208 --> 00:48:47,208 -Okay? -Aww. [meows] 1200 00:48:47,291 --> 00:48:49,791 This is a real work thing. So, I'm not kidding. 1201 00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:51,083 It's perfect, actually. 1202 00:48:51,166 --> 00:48:54,458 Barbara and I were talking about going to the spa and having a little girl time. 1203 00:48:56,041 --> 00:48:57,041 -Oh, yeah? -Mm-hmm. 1204 00:48:57,666 --> 00:48:58,625 That's a good idea. 1205 00:48:58,708 --> 00:49:00,166 You should go to a spa, 1206 00:49:00,250 --> 00:49:03,333 and then maybe, you know, like canoe out to an island and just chill, 1207 00:49:03,416 --> 00:49:05,416 like, if there's one nearby or far. 1208 00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:06,916 ["Movers & Shapers" plays] 1209 00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,791 [Tim] All right, great rehearsal, guys, 1210 00:49:08,875 --> 00:49:12,000 but remember, we have to give the performance of a lifetime. 1211 00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:15,333 There's gonna be a lot of eyes on us at this talent show with Winstone, 1212 00:49:15,416 --> 00:49:17,041 so we got to bring it big time. 1213 00:49:17,125 --> 00:49:19,666 Let's go get Timmy that job! So we can all keep ours. 1214 00:49:19,750 --> 00:49:21,916 That would be nice. We gotta beat The Barracuda. 1215 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,500 Come on, hands in. All right. You know the drill. 1216 00:49:25,333 --> 00:49:26,916 What are we gonna do tomorrow, guys? 1217 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,500 [all] Inspire! Achieve! Together! 1218 00:49:30,583 --> 00:49:31,416 I give it a B-plus. 1219 00:49:31,500 --> 00:49:33,833 Oh, my God! Look, it's the Navy fat Seals. 1220 00:49:34,333 --> 00:49:35,166 [Nate chuckles] 1221 00:49:35,250 --> 00:49:36,875 -Hit the gym, guys. -I'm serious. 1222 00:49:36,958 --> 00:49:38,333 Tim, I'm looking out for you. 1223 00:49:38,416 --> 00:49:39,333 -All right, dude? -Mmm. 1224 00:49:39,416 --> 00:49:41,333 When are we gonna get the right Missy here? 1225 00:49:41,416 --> 00:49:44,416 I can't, because the wrong Missy is still here. 1226 00:49:44,500 --> 00:49:46,208 [sighs] I was hoping you killed her. 1227 00:49:46,291 --> 00:49:49,375 No. She's at the spa. She made fast friends with our neighbor. 1228 00:49:50,083 --> 00:49:52,958 -What neighbor? -I don't know, the lady right next to us. 1229 00:49:53,041 --> 00:49:55,291 Please tell me her name is not Barbara. 1230 00:49:55,375 --> 00:49:57,791 I think it is. It is Barbara. Yeah, why? Do you know her? 1231 00:49:57,875 --> 00:49:58,708 Fuck! 1232 00:49:59,375 --> 00:50:04,208 When I upgraded your suite, I put you right next to Jack Winstone 1233 00:50:04,291 --> 00:50:05,750 and his wife... 1234 00:50:06,416 --> 00:50:07,833 [singing] Barbara! 1235 00:50:07,916 --> 00:50:08,875 Go, go, go, go! 1236 00:50:10,958 --> 00:50:11,791 [panicked cry] 1237 00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:13,333 [panting] 1238 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:15,916 Peace out. 1239 00:50:16,791 --> 00:50:17,666 Come on! 1240 00:50:19,166 --> 00:50:20,500 Hi, everybody, I'm Nate. 1241 00:50:22,166 --> 00:50:24,375 Ugh. So pathetic. 1242 00:50:28,583 --> 00:50:30,458 Missy? Missy! 1243 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:31,833 Missy? 1244 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:34,333 Missy? 1245 00:50:35,333 --> 00:50:36,375 Missy? 1246 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,208 [grunts] [gasps] 1247 00:50:39,291 --> 00:50:40,166 Oh, boy. 1248 00:50:40,250 --> 00:50:41,541 Wait a second. 1249 00:50:41,625 --> 00:50:42,833 You're not my wife! 1250 00:50:43,416 --> 00:50:44,291 Swish! 1251 00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:45,250 [groans] 1252 00:50:45,333 --> 00:50:46,916 Unbelievable. 1253 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,291 -[door closes] -Resume. 1254 00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:52,208 Hey, there. Did you happen to see a tall brunette girl? 1255 00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:53,208 Her name's Missy. 1256 00:50:53,291 --> 00:50:56,083 Yeah, um, she already left. But I hope everything's okay. 1257 00:50:56,666 --> 00:50:57,500 Why would you say that? 1258 00:50:57,583 --> 00:51:00,750 Oh, the older woman who she was with seemed extremely emotional. 1259 00:51:00,833 --> 00:51:02,875 -[exhales] -Nobody died, did they? 1260 00:51:02,958 --> 00:51:04,125 She's about to. 1261 00:51:04,916 --> 00:51:05,750 [door closes] 1262 00:51:07,083 --> 00:51:08,250 ♪ Nom, na-nom, na-nom ♪ 1263 00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:09,791 What did you do and what did you say? 1264 00:51:10,333 --> 00:51:12,416 -To who? -Barbara, at the spa. 1265 00:51:12,500 --> 00:51:15,625 Tim, I love you more than anything, but that's doctor-patient privilege. 1266 00:51:15,708 --> 00:51:17,333 -You're not a doctor! -Yes, I am. 1267 00:51:17,416 --> 00:51:19,125 I'm a certified marriage counselor. 1268 00:51:19,208 --> 00:51:20,291 Of course you are. 1269 00:51:20,375 --> 00:51:23,250 Even if you were, she's not your patient. 1270 00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:24,625 Actually, she sort of is. 1271 00:51:24,708 --> 00:51:27,291 Her husband is an asshole, but he's rich as shit. 1272 00:51:28,208 --> 00:51:30,041 She paid me in cash and put me on retainer. 1273 00:51:30,125 --> 00:51:32,041 [squeaks] Looks like I got a client. 1274 00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:35,041 We came here for your work, but I'm the one doing all the business. 1275 00:51:35,125 --> 00:51:35,958 Isn't that crazy? 1276 00:51:36,041 --> 00:51:37,500 Do you ever think maybe you're the one 1277 00:51:37,583 --> 00:51:39,541 -that needs certified help? -No. 1278 00:51:39,625 --> 00:51:41,666 The other day you told me you were gonna jump off a bridge. 1279 00:51:41,750 --> 00:51:43,708 That's what you do when you go bungee jumping. 1280 00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,416 Anybody else want to do this? 1281 00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:47,583 I'm bailing. 1282 00:51:47,666 --> 00:51:49,083 Where the fuck did the guy go? 1283 00:51:49,166 --> 00:51:50,375 You said I saved your life. 1284 00:51:50,458 --> 00:51:53,250 You might have. Do you know how many people die bungee jumping? 1285 00:51:53,333 --> 00:51:54,583 It's extremely dangerous. 1286 00:51:54,666 --> 00:51:56,166 I got your text, and I was like, 1287 00:51:56,250 --> 00:52:00,416 "I'm not gonna do anything dangerous ever again because I am loved by someone." 1288 00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:01,833 [Tim] Missy. 1289 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,375 I need you to tell me exactly what was said in that spa. 1290 00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:09,791 I gave Barb the remedy for her relationship. 1291 00:52:09,875 --> 00:52:11,791 Which was... 1292 00:52:12,458 --> 00:52:15,083 Dump the sorry son of a bitch. Ah! 1293 00:52:15,166 --> 00:52:16,333 Shit! 1294 00:52:17,416 --> 00:52:18,541 Are you serious? 1295 00:52:18,625 --> 00:52:21,458 Yes, of course I'm serious. Have I ever joked around? 1296 00:52:22,041 --> 00:52:24,083 I told her not to spend another minute with that guy. 1297 00:52:24,166 --> 00:52:26,000 Do you have any idea what you have done? 1298 00:52:26,083 --> 00:52:28,750 Mmm, saved someone from a miserable marriage? 1299 00:52:28,833 --> 00:52:31,416 You broke up my boss's marriage! 1300 00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:34,250 Her husband Jack is Jack... 1301 00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:37,041 Winstone! Yes! 1302 00:52:37,125 --> 00:52:38,166 Oh, God. 1303 00:52:38,250 --> 00:52:39,916 [Winstone] That's it. I am leaving! 1304 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:40,833 [door slams] 1305 00:52:40,916 --> 00:52:41,958 [Tim] Shit. 1306 00:52:42,041 --> 00:52:44,791 -Oh, Mr. Winstone, Evander Holyfield-- -Shut the fuck up, Stuart. 1307 00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:48,750 Evander, he's gonna have to call you back. 1308 00:52:51,083 --> 00:52:53,125 Oh, now it's making a lot more sense. [chuckles] 1309 00:52:53,208 --> 00:52:55,958 No, this makes no sense, and you need to fix it. 1310 00:53:04,333 --> 00:53:05,916 [groans] 1311 00:53:07,625 --> 00:53:08,666 Keep 'em coming. 1312 00:53:09,416 --> 00:53:11,791 They said they don't have any grenadine left. 1313 00:53:12,166 --> 00:53:14,916 Then use fucking syrup. I don't give a shit, Stuart. 1314 00:53:15,291 --> 00:53:16,708 Just make sure I get drunk. 1315 00:53:16,791 --> 00:53:17,625 [water splashing] 1316 00:53:21,833 --> 00:53:23,291 I am so fucked. 1317 00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:24,583 Don't worry. 1318 00:53:24,666 --> 00:53:26,083 Your girlfriend will fix it. 1319 00:53:27,750 --> 00:53:28,666 Hey, Jack. 1320 00:53:28,750 --> 00:53:30,083 You look depressed. 1321 00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,041 I don't want to talk about it. 1322 00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:33,375 Mmm, I'm a good listener. 1323 00:53:33,875 --> 00:53:36,208 You can tell me anything you want to about Barbara. 1324 00:53:36,291 --> 00:53:38,666 [chuckles] Perfect. I have a little fight with my wife, 1325 00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:40,833 and it becomes front page news for the whole company. 1326 00:53:40,916 --> 00:53:43,041 I'd say the whole hotel, the way you were shouting. 1327 00:53:43,125 --> 00:53:44,541 [laughs] You sounded like a psycho. 1328 00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:45,666 [chuckles] 1329 00:53:46,375 --> 00:53:47,416 [spits] 1330 00:53:48,375 --> 00:53:50,083 This tastes like fucking syrup. 1331 00:53:50,166 --> 00:53:53,166 -You said if there was no grenadine-- -I would never say anything that stupid! 1332 00:53:54,458 --> 00:53:57,458 And Stuart, take some goddamn responsibility in your life, will you? 1333 00:53:57,541 --> 00:53:58,375 Okay. 1334 00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,708 Now, look, someone's been meddling in my marriage. 1335 00:54:00,791 --> 00:54:01,875 -Mmm. -And when I find out 1336 00:54:01,958 --> 00:54:04,666 who brainwashed my Barbara, I'm gonna have them wiped-- 1337 00:54:06,791 --> 00:54:08,541 [hisses] 1338 00:54:08,625 --> 00:54:11,125 [in evil voice] Barbara was brainwashed by you! 1339 00:54:11,208 --> 00:54:12,666 -Oh, good Lord. -Yeah. 1340 00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,166 Why are you talking that way? 1341 00:54:14,250 --> 00:54:15,333 Why? Is it scaring you? 1342 00:54:15,416 --> 00:54:17,208 Maybe you need to be scared. 1343 00:54:17,291 --> 00:54:20,125 Scared you're gonna lose the only supportive adult relationship 1344 00:54:20,208 --> 00:54:21,083 you've ever had? 1345 00:54:21,166 --> 00:54:25,416 -All right, stop using that voice. -Stop being a bad husband, Floppy Bags. 1346 00:54:26,166 --> 00:54:27,000 [blathers] 1347 00:54:27,083 --> 00:54:28,791 Hey! Whoa. Mr. Winstone. 1348 00:54:28,875 --> 00:54:31,208 Listen, um, Missy, why don't we give him some space? 1349 00:54:31,291 --> 00:54:34,625 Wait just a second. How is it you know so much about me and my marriage? 1350 00:54:34,708 --> 00:54:37,250 You're not the one who introduced her to that psycho shrink? 1351 00:54:37,333 --> 00:54:38,166 Oh, no. 1352 00:54:38,583 --> 00:54:40,000 I am that psycho shrink. 1353 00:54:40,083 --> 00:54:43,250 You, you're the one responsible for trying to ruin my marriage? 1354 00:54:43,333 --> 00:54:45,916 Marriage is about love. It's about being there. 1355 00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,208 You need to love her. You have to be present, Jack. 1356 00:54:50,333 --> 00:54:51,625 Oh, he can't take it! 1357 00:54:51,708 --> 00:54:53,041 He can't take it, everyone. 1358 00:54:53,125 --> 00:54:56,208 -I'm starting to like this girl. -You stay the hell away from me. 1359 00:54:56,291 --> 00:54:58,083 Oh! [grunting] 1360 00:54:58,166 --> 00:54:59,541 -Shit! -Oh! Oh, whoa, whoa. 1361 00:54:59,625 --> 00:55:01,041 Oh, fuck! 1362 00:55:01,666 --> 00:55:02,791 [groans] My neck. 1363 00:55:02,875 --> 00:55:03,750 Get her off me! 1364 00:55:03,833 --> 00:55:05,125 [Missy] Relax, everybody. 1365 00:55:05,208 --> 00:55:08,583 I'm a certified chiropractic practitioner, okay? I know what I'm doing, okay? 1366 00:55:08,666 --> 00:55:10,791 Winstone, we gotta pop this puppy back into place ASAP. 1367 00:55:10,875 --> 00:55:12,250 -No, no. -One. 1368 00:55:12,333 --> 00:55:14,041 -Don't even think about it. -Two. 1369 00:55:14,125 --> 00:55:15,125 Three! 1370 00:55:15,833 --> 00:55:16,666 Four! 1371 00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,041 -Five! -[Winstone grunts] 1372 00:55:20,125 --> 00:55:22,208 Okay. You want to get your wife back? 1373 00:55:22,750 --> 00:55:24,291 -[groans] -[Missy] Do you? 1374 00:55:24,875 --> 00:55:28,291 Well, if you want help, you've got to be willing to accept the help. 1375 00:55:28,833 --> 00:55:30,666 -Yeah? -[groans] 1376 00:55:30,750 --> 00:55:33,333 You, Barracuda's dumb husband, pick him up, take him up to his room. 1377 00:55:33,416 --> 00:55:35,500 -Get in there, you idiot. -Go very easy on him. 1378 00:55:35,583 --> 00:55:36,416 [groans] 1379 00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:37,583 Tim, call the front desk. 1380 00:55:37,666 --> 00:55:39,416 Tell them we need hot towels, a bucket of ice, 1381 00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,708 and a tub of Vaseline sent up to Winstone's suite. 1382 00:55:41,791 --> 00:55:43,583 I'm sorry. What... [pants] 1383 00:55:43,666 --> 00:55:44,875 I'm sorry. What happened? 1384 00:55:57,791 --> 00:55:58,666 Good morning. 1385 00:55:59,208 --> 00:56:01,000 Hey, uh, I'm gonna check out. 1386 00:56:01,083 --> 00:56:03,000 No problem. And the missus as well? 1387 00:56:03,083 --> 00:56:04,583 She's not the missus. 1388 00:56:04,666 --> 00:56:06,541 Ouch. Buyer's remorse, huh? 1389 00:56:07,166 --> 00:56:09,666 -Yeah. -Tim, there you are! 1390 00:56:09,750 --> 00:56:10,666 Oh, fuck. 1391 00:56:10,750 --> 00:56:12,458 I've been looking all over for you. 1392 00:56:12,541 --> 00:56:14,375 What are you doing? What's-- What's happening? 1393 00:56:15,208 --> 00:56:16,375 I'm going home. 1394 00:56:16,458 --> 00:56:19,166 I gotta get back to Portland. I gotta start looking for a new job. 1395 00:56:19,250 --> 00:56:20,125 Just breathe, okay? 1396 00:56:20,208 --> 00:56:22,625 I spent the entire night last night with Barbara and Winstone. 1397 00:56:22,708 --> 00:56:23,541 [groans] 1398 00:56:23,625 --> 00:56:27,750 He's a stubborn old mule, but I gave him one very deep release. 1399 00:56:27,833 --> 00:56:30,166 You jerked off my boss in front of his wife? 1400 00:56:31,250 --> 00:56:33,791 Emotional release. You nasty. 1401 00:56:33,875 --> 00:56:36,708 Again, I can't get into it due to the whole doctor-patient thingie, 1402 00:56:36,791 --> 00:56:39,291 but he has a lot of demons to work through. 1403 00:56:39,375 --> 00:56:43,458 But he also has a really good soul, and he loves you. 1404 00:56:43,541 --> 00:56:44,416 Me? 1405 00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:46,500 Uh, no, he fucking hates me. 1406 00:56:46,583 --> 00:56:47,750 Look at me, Tim. 1407 00:56:48,375 --> 00:56:49,583 You told me to fix it, 1408 00:56:49,666 --> 00:56:50,875 and I fixed it. 1409 00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:53,291 Winstone loves you. 1410 00:56:54,250 --> 00:56:58,208 Make some noise, you corporate sluts! 1411 00:56:58,291 --> 00:57:01,083 Come on. That's what's up. 1412 00:57:01,166 --> 00:57:03,000 [imitates guitar] 1413 00:57:03,083 --> 00:57:06,875 -This guy fucking parties. -Anyway, for our next talent show act, 1414 00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:09,625 give it up for the northeast sales team 1415 00:57:10,208 --> 00:57:11,958 led by Senior VP, 1416 00:57:12,041 --> 00:57:14,000 my dude, Tim Morris! 1417 00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:15,958 -[audience applauds] -I love that guy! 1418 00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:17,291 [laughs] 1419 00:57:17,916 --> 00:57:18,750 Yeah. 1420 00:57:18,833 --> 00:57:20,291 Yeah. Winstone. 1421 00:57:20,375 --> 00:57:24,916 All right. The northeast sales team is going to inspire us 1422 00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,541 with some shadow dancing. 1423 00:57:28,291 --> 00:57:29,416 Ooh. 1424 00:57:32,416 --> 00:57:37,250 [Nate] At C of A, we understand financial decisors are difficult. 1425 00:57:37,333 --> 00:57:39,291 That's why we have the... 1426 00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:42,833 "Best shart"? 1427 00:57:42,916 --> 00:57:44,916 What is that, a challenge? [laughs] 1428 00:57:48,958 --> 00:57:49,791 [audience applauds] 1429 00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,000 It's "short." 1430 00:57:51,083 --> 00:57:53,750 [Nate] That's right. We are the nation's best short... 1431 00:57:55,125 --> 00:57:56,583 Come on. Here it comes. 1432 00:57:56,666 --> 00:57:59,958 Termil... Best-- Best short-term loan! Oh, that's good! 1433 00:58:00,041 --> 00:58:01,333 That's very good. 1434 00:58:01,416 --> 00:58:02,583 Keep it up, Tim! 1435 00:58:03,083 --> 00:58:04,125 [whispers] Keep going. 1436 00:58:04,625 --> 00:58:06,583 -[Nate] Oh. Ah. Fuck. -[glass shatters] 1437 00:58:06,666 --> 00:58:08,791 Hey, Lucy, get me another Mai Tai. 1438 00:58:09,333 --> 00:58:12,000 Maybe you need cash for a trip to see Paris. 1439 00:58:12,458 --> 00:58:14,625 Like these two lovebirds. 1440 00:58:17,291 --> 00:58:18,583 [audience applauds] 1441 00:58:20,166 --> 00:58:22,333 Aww. Isn't that sweet? 1442 00:58:24,666 --> 00:58:27,250 [Nate] Oh, this is so boring. 1443 00:58:28,375 --> 00:58:31,000 -What in the fuck is happening? -[chuckles] 1444 00:58:31,375 --> 00:58:33,041 [Nate slurring] Anyway, you can count on us 1445 00:58:33,125 --> 00:58:35,916 for that mortgage for your house made of people. 1446 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,333 There must be some brilliant minds behind that curtain. 1447 00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:40,166 [Tim] Get that thing out of my face. 1448 00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:42,666 -Oh, would you relax? I tucked it. -[Tim gagging] 1449 00:58:42,750 --> 00:58:45,791 [Nate] It's no secret that Credit of America is among what the-- 1450 00:58:45,875 --> 00:58:47,208 -[man] Aah! -[audience gasps] 1451 00:58:47,291 --> 00:58:49,375 No, that's part of it. That's part of it. 1452 00:58:49,791 --> 00:58:51,375 -[man groans] -[audience applauds] 1453 00:58:52,916 --> 00:58:54,291 How did he think of that? 1454 00:58:55,833 --> 00:58:57,833 [Nate slurring] Whatever life throws at you, 1455 00:58:57,916 --> 00:58:59,791 like tax fraud or bath salts, 1456 00:58:59,875 --> 00:59:03,291 C of A is here to help, so you can just watch the fireworks. 1457 00:59:04,500 --> 00:59:05,500 [audience applauds] 1458 00:59:08,875 --> 00:59:11,291 Looks like someone shooting lemons out of their ass. 1459 00:59:11,375 --> 00:59:12,541 [Cal Sr. grunts] 1460 00:59:12,625 --> 00:59:14,500 -[audience murmurs] -[Cal Sr. grunts] 1461 00:59:14,583 --> 00:59:16,166 -[Tim] Get it! -[Cal Sr.] I got it. 1462 00:59:16,250 --> 00:59:18,208 -[Tim] Pick it up. -[Cal Sr.] I got it. I got it. 1463 00:59:19,250 --> 00:59:20,750 -[squirts] -[Tim] Oh, God! 1464 00:59:20,833 --> 00:59:22,416 Oh, that's a fucking squeesh! 1465 00:59:22,500 --> 00:59:24,583 People, we're looking at great art. 1466 00:59:25,208 --> 00:59:26,041 Let's hear it! 1467 00:59:26,125 --> 00:59:27,500 [man grunts] It's so beautiful. 1468 00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:31,166 [Nate] All right, the northeast sales team! 1469 00:59:31,250 --> 00:59:33,500 Give it up for the northeast sales team! 1470 00:59:34,291 --> 00:59:36,833 Woo! Let's hear it for Tim Morris! 1471 00:59:36,916 --> 00:59:38,250 I love that guy! 1472 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:39,958 Well done! 1473 00:59:40,916 --> 00:59:42,875 Bravissimo. [laughs] 1474 00:59:44,041 --> 00:59:46,291 That was amazing! 1475 00:59:46,375 --> 00:59:48,875 -All right. What did you do to him? -Mmm, him who? 1476 00:59:48,958 --> 00:59:50,583 Winstone, that's who. 1477 00:59:50,958 --> 00:59:52,500 What happened in that room last night? 1478 00:59:52,583 --> 00:59:55,458 What did you do to make my boss suddenly love me? 1479 00:59:55,541 --> 00:59:58,541 Hey, don't discount yourself, Tim. You're extremely lovable. 1480 00:59:59,125 --> 01:00:01,416 -Uh-huh. -Let's just say I left him... 1481 01:00:01,791 --> 01:00:03,041 totally hypnotized. 1482 01:00:03,125 --> 01:00:04,958 So, that's code for you did jerk him off. 1483 01:00:05,041 --> 01:00:07,291 No, I'm not gonna jerk off your younger boss. 1484 01:00:07,833 --> 01:00:10,083 No. It's code for "I hypnotized him." 1485 01:00:10,166 --> 01:00:11,750 You hypnotized him? 1486 01:00:11,833 --> 01:00:14,708 And when I was swimming through the depths of his soul, 1487 01:00:14,791 --> 01:00:18,875 I found the one thing Jack has an undying love for. 1488 01:00:19,291 --> 01:00:20,125 His Nana. 1489 01:00:20,833 --> 01:00:22,708 Thus, when he sees you, 1490 01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:24,666 he sees Nana. 1491 01:00:25,083 --> 01:00:26,916 So, this guy thinks I'm his Nana? 1492 01:00:27,500 --> 01:00:28,625 You're welcome. 1493 01:00:30,083 --> 01:00:30,958 [microphone feedback] 1494 01:00:31,041 --> 01:00:32,208 [coughs] 1495 01:00:32,875 --> 01:00:33,750 What's going on?! 1496 01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:34,833 -C of A! -[audience applauds] 1497 01:00:34,916 --> 01:00:37,375 Yeah! [shouts] 1498 01:00:37,458 --> 01:00:39,500 All right, our final act, 1499 01:00:39,583 --> 01:00:42,458 the southeast sales group that have composed 1500 01:00:42,541 --> 01:00:46,833 a rather expen-- exprensive musical performance 1501 01:00:46,916 --> 01:00:48,833 led by their team leader, 1502 01:00:48,916 --> 01:00:52,125 the Barracuda of Portland, Jess Sheppard! 1503 01:00:52,208 --> 01:00:54,166 -[crowd applauds] -[gags] 1504 01:00:54,250 --> 01:00:56,708 -[coughing] -Yeah, I sort of hypnotized him 1505 01:00:56,791 --> 01:00:59,541 to only think negative thoughts when he hears her name. 1506 01:01:00,083 --> 01:01:00,916 Oh. 1507 01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:04,041 ["The Right Stuff" playing] 1508 01:01:09,125 --> 01:01:10,458 ♪ The right staff ♪ 1509 01:01:11,083 --> 01:01:13,041 ♪ First Union was a great bank ♪ 1510 01:01:13,125 --> 01:01:14,708 ♪ C of A, first class ♪ 1511 01:01:15,291 --> 01:01:17,166 ♪ But now that we've united ♪ 1512 01:01:17,250 --> 01:01:19,208 ♪ You know we will kick ass ♪ 1513 01:01:19,291 --> 01:01:21,125 ♪ We got the right staff ♪ 1514 01:01:21,625 --> 01:01:22,708 ♪ Baby ♪ 1515 01:01:23,916 --> 01:01:26,333 ♪ Low interest loans will put a smile on ♪ 1516 01:01:27,375 --> 01:01:28,875 ♪ Jess Sheppard's got the right staff ♪ 1517 01:01:28,958 --> 01:01:30,041 [retching] 1518 01:01:30,125 --> 01:01:30,958 ♪ Baby ♪ 1519 01:01:31,041 --> 01:01:32,291 [retches] [coughs] 1520 01:01:32,375 --> 01:01:35,208 ♪ Jack Winstone is why we sing this song ♪ 1521 01:01:36,708 --> 01:01:38,375 ♪ For all your banking needs ♪ 1522 01:01:38,458 --> 01:01:40,125 ♪ We'll be there for you ♪ 1523 01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:42,041 ♪ She's Jess Sheppard ♪ 1524 01:01:42,125 --> 01:01:43,041 [retches] 1525 01:01:43,125 --> 01:01:44,208 ♪ She's so right ♪ 1526 01:01:44,291 --> 01:01:45,166 [Winstone coughs] 1527 01:01:45,250 --> 01:01:48,958 ♪ We all know I deserve An office with a view ♪ 1528 01:01:49,041 --> 01:01:51,708 ♪ This girl's work ethic ♪ 1529 01:01:52,291 --> 01:01:54,083 ♪ Is out of sight ♪ 1530 01:01:54,166 --> 01:01:55,625 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1531 01:01:56,166 --> 01:01:57,500 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1532 01:01:57,583 --> 01:01:58,583 Swish! 1533 01:01:58,666 --> 01:02:00,375 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1534 01:02:00,791 --> 01:02:02,416 ♪ The right staff ♪ 1535 01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:04,833 One more time, Jess Sheppard! 1536 01:02:04,916 --> 01:02:05,791 [retches] 1537 01:02:06,416 --> 01:02:08,500 -[Winstone retching] -[laughs] 1538 01:02:08,583 --> 01:02:11,625 Okay, that concludes our "shalent" show. 1539 01:02:11,708 --> 01:02:13,208 Tim clearly won, am I right? 1540 01:02:13,791 --> 01:02:15,541 -That's amazing. -[Winstone retching] 1541 01:02:15,625 --> 01:02:16,833 But it better not be dangerous. 1542 01:02:16,916 --> 01:02:18,583 No, the second you want it to end, 1543 01:02:18,666 --> 01:02:20,958 you just say the magic phrase, and he snaps out of it. 1544 01:02:21,541 --> 01:02:23,500 But what if someone accidentally says it first? 1545 01:02:23,583 --> 01:02:24,583 No one's gonna say it. 1546 01:02:24,666 --> 01:02:27,333 It's "Hairy werewolf vagina with yellow teeth and a tongue." 1547 01:02:27,416 --> 01:02:30,125 -Good God. That's what it is? -Yeah. 1548 01:02:31,458 --> 01:02:34,958 ♪ There she is, Miss A-Maryland ♪ 1549 01:02:35,041 --> 01:02:36,458 -Oh, my God. -[laughs] 1550 01:02:36,541 --> 01:02:38,291 Hey, how about our boy Tim Morris, huh? 1551 01:02:38,875 --> 01:02:40,041 I love this guy! 1552 01:02:40,125 --> 01:02:41,416 -[Tim laughs] -[Winstone inhales] 1553 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:43,333 [Winstone] You make me feel safe. 1554 01:02:43,916 --> 01:02:45,000 I hope you never die. 1555 01:02:47,750 --> 01:02:49,375 But, as we all know, 1556 01:02:50,291 --> 01:02:51,625 behind every good man 1557 01:02:51,708 --> 01:02:53,208 is an even better woman. 1558 01:02:54,750 --> 01:02:56,500 You better take good care of this little lady. 1559 01:02:56,583 --> 01:02:58,333 -[laughs] -She's one of a kind, Tim. 1560 01:02:58,416 --> 01:02:59,625 -Aww. -That's very true. 1561 01:02:59,708 --> 01:03:01,166 -Keep it coming. -[both laugh] 1562 01:03:01,250 --> 01:03:02,333 [laughs] 1563 01:03:02,416 --> 01:03:03,583 Oh! 1564 01:03:04,166 --> 01:03:05,583 Wow. That's nice. 1565 01:03:05,666 --> 01:03:07,583 We'll catch you two later. See you. 1566 01:03:10,541 --> 01:03:11,708 He said my name right. 1567 01:03:11,791 --> 01:03:12,833 Mm-hmm. 1568 01:03:13,500 --> 01:03:14,375 Who are you? 1569 01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:15,875 I'm Doctor Missy, 1570 01:03:15,958 --> 01:03:19,791 and I'm prescribing you some Hawaiian lobster nachos, Tim Morris. 1571 01:03:19,875 --> 01:03:21,333 -[Winstone] Love that guy! -[laughs] 1572 01:03:22,291 --> 01:03:23,333 Jess Sheppard. 1573 01:03:23,416 --> 01:03:24,916 [Winstone retching] 1574 01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:25,833 Let's go. 1575 01:03:25,916 --> 01:03:27,000 ♪ Come along, darling ♪ 1576 01:03:27,083 --> 01:03:29,125 ♪ Jump on your feet, don't lie down ♪ 1577 01:03:29,208 --> 01:03:30,625 ♪ 'Cause it's not easy... ♪ 1578 01:03:31,208 --> 01:03:35,750 So, you're a hypnotist, paramedic, therapist, a psychic, 1579 01:03:35,833 --> 01:03:37,666 -a sherpa, what else? -[laughs] 1580 01:03:37,750 --> 01:03:40,041 I can do close-up magic. Hmm? 1581 01:03:40,125 --> 01:03:41,333 -Oh. They're right here. -Okay. 1582 01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:42,625 -Ready? [laughs] -Yeah. 1583 01:03:44,291 --> 01:03:45,625 -They're not there. [laughs] -Oh! 1584 01:03:45,708 --> 01:03:46,708 -Gotcha! -What the fuck? 1585 01:03:46,791 --> 01:03:48,833 -They're right here. -Where do you learn this stuff? 1586 01:03:49,416 --> 01:03:50,458 [sighs] 1587 01:03:50,541 --> 01:03:54,125 Well, when my dad passed away, I was... kind of lonely. 1588 01:03:54,666 --> 01:03:58,041 And, uh, somebody told me that classes were a really good way to meet people, 1589 01:03:58,125 --> 01:04:02,083 so I signed up for a bunch of stuff and kind of became a jack-of-all-trades. 1590 01:04:02,166 --> 01:04:03,083 -That's nice. -Yeah. 1591 01:04:03,166 --> 01:04:05,166 Yeah, I kind of found out the jack part on the plane. 1592 01:04:05,250 --> 01:04:07,541 Oh, yeah, yeah, that jacking. Yeah. [laughs] 1593 01:04:07,625 --> 01:04:08,833 Yeah, no, that was self-taught. 1594 01:04:08,916 --> 01:04:10,083 -Oh, really? -On a banana. 1595 01:04:10,166 --> 01:04:11,333 Made it peel every time. 1596 01:04:11,416 --> 01:04:12,500 -Oh! -Yeah. [laughs] 1597 01:04:12,583 --> 01:04:14,833 With me, you should have practiced on a string bean. 1598 01:04:14,916 --> 01:04:16,875 Yeah! [laughs] 1599 01:04:17,833 --> 01:04:18,833 [continues laughing] 1600 01:04:19,416 --> 01:04:20,958 -I was kidding. -No, you're right! 1601 01:04:21,041 --> 01:04:22,125 -No, I was-- -[laughs] 1602 01:04:22,208 --> 01:04:24,083 That's exactly the size. 1603 01:04:24,166 --> 01:04:26,666 -The worst reaction you could've made. -[laughing] Sorry. 1604 01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:29,583 -It's average for my height and weight. -Yeah, okay. [laughs] 1605 01:04:29,666 --> 01:04:31,208 [both laugh] 1606 01:04:31,541 --> 01:04:33,208 -Yeah, yeah. -[Missy] Yeah. 1607 01:04:33,833 --> 01:04:36,250 So, are you ready to tell me why you don't drink? 1608 01:04:36,833 --> 01:04:38,125 I can tell you. I mean... 1609 01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:40,125 I'm a little crazy, too. 1610 01:04:40,208 --> 01:04:41,041 -Really? -Yeah. 1611 01:04:41,125 --> 01:04:41,958 Okay. 1612 01:04:42,041 --> 01:04:44,083 I drink, I get drunk, and then I... 1613 01:04:44,708 --> 01:04:45,750 walk on my hands. 1614 01:04:45,833 --> 01:04:48,250 Hmm. Okay, well, that doesn't sound too dangerous. 1615 01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:51,458 It does when you walk on your hands off the roof of your frat house. 1616 01:04:51,541 --> 01:04:53,958 Okay, I feel like you're making shit up right now. I'm not-- 1617 01:04:54,041 --> 01:04:55,416 No, I-- Seriously, I fell 30 feet. 1618 01:04:55,500 --> 01:04:57,958 No, I'm talking about you getting accepted into a frat. 1619 01:04:58,041 --> 01:04:59,041 -I don't-- -Oh, that. Yeah. 1620 01:04:59,125 --> 01:05:00,375 I don't believe it. 1621 01:05:00,458 --> 01:05:01,750 -That's a good burn. -Yeah, yeah. 1622 01:05:01,833 --> 01:05:02,666 [cell phone chimes] 1623 01:05:02,750 --> 01:05:04,000 -[inhales] -Hang on. 1624 01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:06,583 Who's that? 1625 01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:08,500 It's nobody. 1626 01:05:09,083 --> 01:05:10,708 Is it your grandma? Checking in on you? 1627 01:05:10,791 --> 01:05:12,583 Sending me some tasteful nudes. 1628 01:05:12,666 --> 01:05:14,291 [both laugh] 1629 01:05:14,375 --> 01:05:16,541 No, she's just making sure I'm treating you right. 1630 01:05:16,625 --> 01:05:19,875 Hmm. You're gonna be treating me right tonight. 1631 01:05:19,958 --> 01:05:21,791 So you better get your grandma out of your mind. 1632 01:05:21,875 --> 01:05:23,666 -Uh-oh. -[Missy] Uh-oh. 1633 01:05:23,750 --> 01:05:24,583 We gonna fuck. 1634 01:05:24,666 --> 01:05:25,875 [both laugh] 1635 01:05:25,958 --> 01:05:26,791 Okay. 1636 01:05:26,875 --> 01:05:29,041 ♪ Dance the night away ♪ 1637 01:05:29,125 --> 01:05:32,708 -♪ To this island reggae ♪ -♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪ 1638 01:05:32,791 --> 01:05:34,875 ♪ And let's dance, dance, dance ♪ 1639 01:05:34,958 --> 01:05:36,458 ♪ Dance, dance ♪ 1640 01:05:36,541 --> 01:05:39,000 I'm gonna put a hot tub in the garage, I decided. 1641 01:05:40,916 --> 01:05:43,583 ["Utu Bang Bang" playing] 1642 01:05:43,666 --> 01:05:45,083 [humming] 1643 01:05:47,500 --> 01:05:49,250 Mmm, yeah. 1644 01:05:50,458 --> 01:05:51,375 [grunts] 1645 01:05:55,500 --> 01:05:56,333 Okay. 1646 01:05:56,833 --> 01:05:58,125 -[knocking on door] -Hmm! 1647 01:05:59,166 --> 01:06:00,000 Hmm. 1648 01:06:00,958 --> 01:06:01,791 Oh. 1649 01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:04,375 Hmm, oh! Hey, ex-lover. 1650 01:06:04,458 --> 01:06:05,791 [exhales] I'm sorry to bother you. 1651 01:06:05,875 --> 01:06:08,375 I was just, um, actually hoping to have a quick word with Tim? 1652 01:06:08,458 --> 01:06:10,375 Uh-huh, yeah, he went to get some weed. 1653 01:06:10,458 --> 01:06:12,291 We're about to have a real fuck fest. 1654 01:06:12,375 --> 01:06:13,500 -Oh, God. -Yeah. 1655 01:06:13,583 --> 01:06:16,458 We thought it'd be more fun to be stoned while we eat each other. 1656 01:06:16,791 --> 01:06:20,416 Wow. Okay. Um, it's not a problem, I'll just-- I'll talk to him another time. 1657 01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:22,208 No, no, no! He'll be back in a minute. 1658 01:06:22,291 --> 01:06:23,583 Come on in. 1659 01:06:24,041 --> 01:06:27,666 You know his old tricks. Maybe you can give me a few pointers. [chuckles] 1660 01:06:28,750 --> 01:06:30,541 -Guess if it's just for a second. -Yeah. 1661 01:06:30,625 --> 01:06:33,416 He's not some freak, right? Like, I'm not gonna have to grease up his ass 1662 01:06:33,500 --> 01:06:35,333 and slide him around a hardwood floor, am I? 1663 01:06:35,416 --> 01:06:36,583 -No. -Okay. 1664 01:06:36,958 --> 01:06:38,750 -So, I don't have any actual bud. -[sighs] 1665 01:06:38,833 --> 01:06:40,958 Because airport security would've clipped me, dude. 1666 01:06:41,041 --> 01:06:44,333 So, I do have weed toothpaste. 1667 01:06:44,916 --> 01:06:45,833 Wait. 1668 01:06:45,916 --> 01:06:47,458 Weed deodorant. 1669 01:06:47,541 --> 01:06:48,666 Wait. 1670 01:06:48,916 --> 01:06:51,166 Weed chapstick. And this is the best, Tim. 1671 01:06:51,250 --> 01:06:53,541 -Weed hair-growth foam. -[chuckles] 1672 01:06:53,625 --> 01:06:56,583 Dude, you put it on your hair. Your hair grows as you get high as fuck. 1673 01:06:56,666 --> 01:06:58,250 [chuckles] You're so weird. 1674 01:06:58,333 --> 01:06:59,333 It works. 1675 01:06:59,958 --> 01:07:03,291 I put some on my pubes. I got the biggest bush in the whole fucking island. 1676 01:07:03,375 --> 01:07:04,375 [chuckles] 1677 01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:06,333 -Komante's been crashing with me. -Yeah. 1678 01:07:06,416 --> 01:07:07,583 And I'm going back with you. 1679 01:07:07,666 --> 01:07:09,958 -No, I said maybe, Komante. I said maybe. -What? 1680 01:07:10,041 --> 01:07:11,458 -Staying with you. -No. I said maybe. 1681 01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:13,041 -You didn't say maybe. -I did say maybe. 1682 01:07:13,625 --> 01:07:14,708 Maybe what? 1683 01:07:14,791 --> 01:07:16,375 [sighs] Anyway, what's the deal? 1684 01:07:16,458 --> 01:07:18,958 Why are you not responding to Miss Maryland? What are you doing? 1685 01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:21,500 I think I'm starting to like Missy. 1686 01:07:22,083 --> 01:07:22,916 What? 1687 01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,958 I know. I know. I-I don't know. 1688 01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:26,250 [Komante] Bang 'em both. 1689 01:07:26,833 --> 01:07:30,625 Hey, I got-- Here are some weed condoms. Just use them. I'm not gonna use them. 1690 01:07:30,708 --> 01:07:33,166 -No, I'm good. I'll just... -[Komante] Let me put them on you. 1691 01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:34,958 -No. -[Komante] Let me see your dick. 1692 01:07:35,041 --> 01:07:36,250 No. 1693 01:07:36,833 --> 01:07:37,708 [Nate] Komante. 1694 01:07:38,166 --> 01:07:39,291 -Reapplying. -[Nate] Oh, my-- 1695 01:07:39,375 --> 01:07:41,666 -Read the fucking thing. It says re-apply. -Oh, my God. 1696 01:07:41,750 --> 01:07:44,291 -You got me this fucking high. You did. -[Nate] Komante, I-- 1697 01:07:44,375 --> 01:07:46,208 He is, though. He does that! 1698 01:07:46,291 --> 01:07:47,916 -[laughs] I know! -Did he do that with you? 1699 01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,916 -Every single night. -That's what I was wondering. 1700 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:52,208 I couldn't tell if it was new or something-- Oh! 1701 01:07:52,291 --> 01:07:55,041 Perfect timing. We were just talking about you. [chuckles] 1702 01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:57,625 At least now I know what's been bothering you this whole trip. 1703 01:07:59,500 --> 01:08:00,833 How could you not be bothered 1704 01:08:00,916 --> 01:08:03,708 by a breakup with a babe like this? I mean, seriously! 1705 01:08:03,791 --> 01:08:06,250 I see everything you saw in this stunning woman. 1706 01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:10,000 -You have a very special lady over here. -[purring] 1707 01:08:10,083 --> 01:08:11,083 -[laughs] -[Missy giggles] 1708 01:08:11,166 --> 01:08:12,916 Join us. Come on. 1709 01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:13,958 Get in here! 1710 01:08:14,041 --> 01:08:15,458 [laughs] I don't know. 1711 01:08:15,541 --> 01:08:17,750 -[laughs] Okay. -[Tim laughs] 1712 01:08:17,833 --> 01:08:19,875 Now, thanks to a little liquid courage... 1713 01:08:19,958 --> 01:08:22,666 -[Julia] Mmm. -...our little Lady Lu here confided in me 1714 01:08:22,750 --> 01:08:26,625 that she still harbors pretty strong feelings for you. 1715 01:08:26,708 --> 01:08:29,500 And I'm pretty sure you have feelings for her, too. 1716 01:08:30,041 --> 01:08:32,166 Now, I'm no certified sex therapist, 1717 01:08:32,250 --> 01:08:34,000 at least not yet. Two classes left. [laughs] 1718 01:08:34,083 --> 01:08:36,583 -[laughs] -But from my experience, 1719 01:08:37,041 --> 01:08:40,000 I know the only way to see if there's either a future 1720 01:08:40,083 --> 01:08:42,625 or to have absolute closure, 1721 01:08:42,708 --> 01:08:45,000 is to "ride the bus." 1722 01:08:46,833 --> 01:08:48,541 What's-- What's that, ride the bus? 1723 01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:50,416 B-U-S. 1724 01:08:50,833 --> 01:08:51,875 Breakup sex. 1725 01:08:51,958 --> 01:08:53,500 -Oh. [laughs] -[Missy laughs] Yeah. 1726 01:08:53,583 --> 01:08:56,166 Come on, you can't tell me you don't still have feelings for her. 1727 01:08:56,250 --> 01:08:57,541 Okay. You know what? I... 1728 01:08:58,666 --> 01:09:00,416 This is... I-I don't feel comfortable. 1729 01:09:00,500 --> 01:09:01,583 -This is weird. -Bitch. 1730 01:09:01,666 --> 01:09:04,208 -Okay. Don't worry. It's fine. -Missy, I'm not gonna have you... 1731 01:09:04,291 --> 01:09:07,416 wait outside the room while I have some breakup sex with my ex. 1732 01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:10,125 I'm not going outside, you fucking moron. 1733 01:09:10,750 --> 01:09:12,125 I'm gonna fuck both of you! 1734 01:09:12,750 --> 01:09:14,083 It's about the three of us. 1735 01:09:15,166 --> 01:09:18,166 -[Tim] Oh. -It's the only way for us 1736 01:09:18,250 --> 01:09:19,291 to move forward. 1737 01:09:20,458 --> 01:09:23,208 It's time to ride the bus, Tim. We saved you the best seat. 1738 01:09:23,791 --> 01:09:24,666 On our faces. 1739 01:09:24,750 --> 01:09:26,458 -[laughs] Come on. -Wha... 1740 01:09:26,541 --> 01:09:27,541 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1741 01:09:27,625 --> 01:09:29,625 -[Tim laughs] -Oh, did you get the weed? 1742 01:09:31,416 --> 01:09:32,250 Ish. 1743 01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:40,208 [blues cover of "My Neck, My Back" playing] 1744 01:09:48,625 --> 01:09:51,541 ♪ All you ladies Pop your pussy like this ♪ 1745 01:09:51,625 --> 01:09:54,000 ♪ Shake your body Don't stop, don't miss ♪ 1746 01:09:54,083 --> 01:09:56,958 ♪ All you ladies Pop your pussy like this ♪ 1747 01:09:57,041 --> 01:09:59,041 ♪ Shake your body Don't stop, don't miss ♪ 1748 01:09:59,125 --> 01:10:00,750 ♪ Just do it ♪ 1749 01:10:00,833 --> 01:10:02,083 ♪ Do it ♪ 1750 01:10:02,166 --> 01:10:04,916 ♪ Do it, do it, do it now ♪ 1751 01:10:05,208 --> 01:10:06,125 ♪ Right now ♪ 1752 01:10:06,208 --> 01:10:07,458 ♪ Lick it good ♪ 1753 01:10:07,541 --> 01:10:09,791 ♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪ 1754 01:10:09,875 --> 01:10:12,125 ♪ My neck, my back ♪ 1755 01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:15,125 ♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪ 1756 01:10:15,208 --> 01:10:17,458 ♪ My neck, my back ♪ 1757 01:10:17,541 --> 01:10:20,541 ♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪ 1758 01:10:20,791 --> 01:10:23,666 ♪ First you gotta put your neck into it ♪ 1759 01:10:23,750 --> 01:10:26,000 ♪ Don't stop, just do it, do it... ♪ 1760 01:10:26,083 --> 01:10:26,958 [grunts] 1761 01:10:27,708 --> 01:10:28,583 Oh! 1762 01:10:29,041 --> 01:10:30,708 ♪ From the crack up to the front ♪ 1763 01:10:30,791 --> 01:10:34,333 ♪ Then you suck it all Till I shake and cum ♪ 1764 01:10:34,416 --> 01:10:36,583 ♪ Make sure I keep busting nuts... ♪ 1765 01:10:36,666 --> 01:10:37,833 [grunts] 1766 01:10:37,916 --> 01:10:39,416 ♪ All over your face and stuff ♪ 1767 01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:41,500 ♪ Got me making so much love ♪ 1768 01:10:41,583 --> 01:10:43,250 ♪ So lick it now ♪ 1769 01:10:43,333 --> 01:10:44,458 ♪ Lick it good... ♪ 1770 01:10:44,541 --> 01:10:45,708 Oh! [grunts] 1771 01:10:45,791 --> 01:10:47,416 ♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪ 1772 01:10:47,500 --> 01:10:49,291 ♪ Right now, lick it good ♪ 1773 01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:52,000 ♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪ 1774 01:10:52,083 --> 01:10:54,375 ♪ My neck, my back ♪ 1775 01:10:54,458 --> 01:10:57,333 ♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪ 1776 01:10:57,416 --> 01:10:59,500 ♪ My neck, my back ♪ 1777 01:10:59,583 --> 01:11:03,125 ♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪ 1778 01:11:03,875 --> 01:11:04,750 [song ends] 1779 01:11:08,083 --> 01:11:08,916 [Tim laughs] 1780 01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,458 I still can't believe what happened last night. 1781 01:11:11,541 --> 01:11:13,583 I don't think I really knew what I was doing. 1782 01:11:13,666 --> 01:11:15,958 Yeah, I know. At one point, you were dry humping the outlet. 1783 01:11:16,041 --> 01:11:17,291 -[laughs] It was dark! -[laughs] 1784 01:11:17,375 --> 01:11:18,875 I didn't know what was happening! 1785 01:11:18,958 --> 01:11:20,291 I'm excited about this next party. 1786 01:11:20,375 --> 01:11:22,750 I know. This is the main event. It'll be fun. 1787 01:11:23,291 --> 01:11:25,291 [Missy] I think you might be a bit over-dressed. 1788 01:11:25,375 --> 01:11:28,541 I know people are kind of on the fence, but the merger's gonna be huge, dude. 1789 01:11:28,625 --> 01:11:30,625 It's gonna help all of us. We're gonna crush it. 1790 01:11:30,708 --> 01:11:32,416 It's really exciting to see how it plays out. 1791 01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:33,333 [horn sounds] 1792 01:11:33,416 --> 01:11:34,333 What the fu--? 1793 01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:37,291 -Hmm. -Hmm. 1794 01:11:37,916 --> 01:11:41,041 Rich, what the hell's going on here? It's supposed to be a pig roast. 1795 01:11:41,125 --> 01:11:43,541 No, Winstone changed the whole party last minute. 1796 01:11:43,625 --> 01:11:45,125 He said he wants everyone to get back 1797 01:11:45,208 --> 01:11:48,041 to a time before society told you what you can and can't do. 1798 01:11:48,125 --> 01:11:50,250 That's weird. Why are you staring at this tree, though? 1799 01:11:50,333 --> 01:11:52,583 Fucking Winstone put me in a time-out. 1800 01:11:53,166 --> 01:11:55,041 [exhales] I still got ten minutes left. 1801 01:11:55,125 --> 01:11:56,000 Carry on. 1802 01:11:56,833 --> 01:11:57,916 So, you had a part in this. 1803 01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:00,416 Winstone was so concerned with what everyone thought about him, 1804 01:12:00,500 --> 01:12:02,333 and he wanted to think more freely. 1805 01:12:02,416 --> 01:12:06,416 So while he was hypnotized, I told him to throw away the restraints of adulthood. 1806 01:12:06,500 --> 01:12:08,291 -Guess he ran with it. -Mr. Morris? 1807 01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:11,208 Mr. Winstone's conducting interviews in the ocean. 1808 01:12:11,291 --> 01:12:12,625 He would like for you to be next, 1809 01:12:12,708 --> 01:12:15,458 or he'll tell everyone you still sleep with a nightlight. 1810 01:12:17,083 --> 01:12:18,208 Thank you, giraffe. 1811 01:12:18,291 --> 01:12:19,208 You're welcome. 1812 01:12:19,833 --> 01:12:22,416 I think we need to look into selling asset-backed securities. 1813 01:12:22,500 --> 01:12:23,458 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1814 01:12:23,541 --> 01:12:25,166 Uh, tell me underwater. 1815 01:12:25,250 --> 01:12:26,125 I'm sorry? 1816 01:12:26,208 --> 01:12:28,333 Tell me underwater. We're mermaids. 1817 01:12:28,416 --> 01:12:30,000 But you won't be able to understand me. 1818 01:12:30,083 --> 01:12:31,333 Of course I will. 1819 01:12:31,666 --> 01:12:32,791 We're mermaids. 1820 01:12:35,791 --> 01:12:36,958 [exhales] What? 1821 01:12:39,166 --> 01:12:41,583 [garbled dialogue] 1822 01:12:55,416 --> 01:12:56,291 So? 1823 01:12:57,250 --> 01:12:58,208 I didn't like it, 1824 01:12:58,750 --> 01:13:00,041 but thanks for coming by. 1825 01:13:00,958 --> 01:13:01,791 [sighs] 1826 01:13:03,125 --> 01:13:03,958 [grunts] 1827 01:13:04,583 --> 01:13:06,666 -How'd it go? -Crushed it. 1828 01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:07,666 Are you sure? 1829 01:13:08,208 --> 01:13:09,333 The fish are whispering. 1830 01:13:09,416 --> 01:13:10,250 Oh! 1831 01:13:10,333 --> 01:13:11,208 [groans] 1832 01:13:11,291 --> 01:13:12,750 Shit. Sorry. 1833 01:13:13,333 --> 01:13:14,708 This fucking sucks. 1834 01:13:14,791 --> 01:13:16,625 Yeah, it's an abuse of power. 1835 01:13:16,708 --> 01:13:18,083 Come on, Tim! 1836 01:13:18,166 --> 01:13:19,666 -Gosh. -[Winstone] Attaboy! 1837 01:13:20,166 --> 01:13:21,041 Good job! 1838 01:13:21,125 --> 01:13:22,125 Come on out here! 1839 01:13:22,208 --> 01:13:23,125 [Tim grunts] 1840 01:13:23,208 --> 01:13:24,875 That's it! Use that flipper! 1841 01:13:24,958 --> 01:13:26,500 -[Tim grunting] -[laughs] 1842 01:13:26,583 --> 01:13:28,375 You're a beautiful mermaid, Morris. 1843 01:13:28,458 --> 01:13:30,000 -[laughs] -[Tim] Coming! 1844 01:13:30,708 --> 01:13:33,375 [Winstone] Swim free, my boy, swim free! 1845 01:13:33,958 --> 01:13:35,083 -Yes! -[gasps] 1846 01:13:35,166 --> 01:13:38,166 Way to let out your inner child! I love it! 1847 01:13:38,250 --> 01:13:39,666 [laughs] 1848 01:13:39,750 --> 01:13:41,083 Now listen, Tim, 1849 01:13:41,166 --> 01:13:44,208 I am well aware that you want to be president of sales, 1850 01:13:44,583 --> 01:13:48,375 but I have to be honest with you, Jess' numbers are much better than yours. 1851 01:13:48,458 --> 01:13:49,916 She's an excellent motivator, 1852 01:13:50,708 --> 01:13:53,625 and she's a pretty damn good underwater talker. 1853 01:13:54,458 --> 01:13:57,541 But I get the feeling that you're the type of guy 1854 01:13:57,625 --> 01:13:59,791 that would bring me soup when I'm sick, you know? 1855 01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:01,666 Yes. 1856 01:14:01,750 --> 01:14:02,791 Sure, that's... 1857 01:14:02,875 --> 01:14:03,708 Of course. 1858 01:14:03,791 --> 01:14:06,333 Tell me stories about how you met Grandpa after World War II. 1859 01:14:06,416 --> 01:14:07,583 [laughs] Yeah. 1860 01:14:07,666 --> 01:14:10,791 Let me eat as much chocolate as I wanted, no matter what Mom and Dad said. 1861 01:14:11,291 --> 01:14:12,125 Y-Yeah. 1862 01:14:12,208 --> 01:14:14,458 And that's why I've decided to go with my gut. 1863 01:14:15,333 --> 01:14:16,166 You up for it? 1864 01:14:16,250 --> 01:14:18,000 Me? Yeah! Oh, my God! 1865 01:14:18,083 --> 01:14:19,625 Come on. Give your grandson a hug! 1866 01:14:19,708 --> 01:14:21,041 -[laughs] -Okay. 1867 01:14:21,125 --> 01:14:22,000 Ah! 1868 01:14:22,083 --> 01:14:23,458 [both laughing] 1869 01:14:26,083 --> 01:14:27,791 [both continue laughing] 1870 01:14:27,875 --> 01:14:30,583 [children's music plays in the background] 1871 01:14:34,041 --> 01:14:36,333 I don't know what witchcraft you whipped up with Winstone, 1872 01:14:36,416 --> 01:14:38,166 but obviously, it worked. 1873 01:14:38,250 --> 01:14:39,833 Oh, good. I'm glad you noticed. 1874 01:14:39,916 --> 01:14:42,291 I'm sorry. I can't do anything for your husband's eye, though. 1875 01:14:42,875 --> 01:14:44,250 [Jess chuckles] Yeah. 1876 01:14:44,333 --> 01:14:46,000 You're not much of a psychic, are you? 1877 01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:49,250 You don't even know you're not supposed to be here. 1878 01:14:58,208 --> 01:15:00,208 I mean, I know he's, like, in a trance or whatever, 1879 01:15:00,291 --> 01:15:02,416 but he felt pretty real about it. 1880 01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:04,333 Either way, we're gonna definitely celebrate. 1881 01:15:05,041 --> 01:15:08,583 So, let me get the sand out of places it shouldn't be, 1882 01:15:08,666 --> 01:15:10,833 and then we're going to dinner. All right? 1883 01:15:10,916 --> 01:15:13,208 And you know what, why don't you bring your friend Hellstar? 1884 01:15:13,291 --> 01:15:14,541 She might be hungry. 1885 01:15:14,625 --> 01:15:16,541 [in evil voice] Tell her we're gonna have dinner, 1886 01:15:16,625 --> 01:15:18,166 entree, and a dessert. 1887 01:15:18,250 --> 01:15:20,208 Because I'm Claudio of the Darkness. 1888 01:15:20,291 --> 01:15:22,375 [in normal voice] That's horrible. I don't know how to do it. 1889 01:15:22,458 --> 01:15:25,000 You do it better. You have to teach me, okay? It hurts my throat. 1890 01:15:28,250 --> 01:15:29,791 [shower running] 1891 01:15:31,083 --> 01:15:33,833 ["Please" playing] 1892 01:15:40,750 --> 01:15:43,333 ♪ I see you when I see you ♪ 1893 01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:47,333 ♪ It hurts to never know ♪ 1894 01:15:50,500 --> 01:15:53,416 ♪ 'Cause maybe you'll come running... ♪ 1895 01:15:56,250 --> 01:15:57,125 Missy. 1896 01:15:57,958 --> 01:16:00,833 After dinner, do you want to see a local band I heard about? 1897 01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:02,083 That might be fun. 1898 01:16:03,833 --> 01:16:04,708 What do you think? 1899 01:16:05,583 --> 01:16:06,416 Missy? 1900 01:16:15,375 --> 01:16:16,541 [sighs] 1901 01:16:17,250 --> 01:16:18,208 Shit. 1902 01:16:19,916 --> 01:16:20,750 Missy? 1903 01:16:22,125 --> 01:16:22,958 Missy. 1904 01:16:24,791 --> 01:16:25,625 Missy. 1905 01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:28,666 I made it! 1906 01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:30,500 Surprise! [squeals] 1907 01:16:31,750 --> 01:16:33,875 [mouthing] Fuck you! 1908 01:16:34,500 --> 01:16:35,500 [Melissa] Oh! 1909 01:16:37,916 --> 01:16:41,333 Oh, my God! It's so good to see you. That flight took forever. 1910 01:16:41,416 --> 01:16:44,416 I'm so happy your friend Jess called me yesterday and told me to come here. 1911 01:16:44,500 --> 01:16:46,416 It's gorgeous! 1912 01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:48,958 Want to take a starving girl to lunch? 1913 01:16:51,041 --> 01:16:53,875 That's so great. I mean, the new president of C of A. 1914 01:16:53,958 --> 01:16:57,583 You must be over the moon. Did they give you a big, new office? 1915 01:16:57,666 --> 01:17:00,000 Um, I... I don't know yet. 1916 01:17:00,083 --> 01:17:03,541 -Well, either way, very exciting. -[waiter] All right, here we go. 1917 01:17:03,625 --> 01:17:06,125 A virgin piña colada and six shots of whiskey. 1918 01:17:06,208 --> 01:17:07,083 Oh. 1919 01:17:07,166 --> 01:17:08,416 I thought you didn't drink. 1920 01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:10,583 -Oh, these aren't for me. [laughs] -Oh. 1921 01:17:11,208 --> 01:17:12,250 Hmm. 1922 01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:13,208 What were you saying? 1923 01:17:13,916 --> 01:17:16,333 -I just, uh... -[groans] 1924 01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:19,083 Wow. 1925 01:17:19,666 --> 01:17:22,750 -I really don't want this one. -Yeah. I see that. 1926 01:17:23,416 --> 01:17:24,291 [shot glasses clatter] 1927 01:17:24,375 --> 01:17:25,541 Mmm. 1928 01:17:27,916 --> 01:17:28,875 Wow. 1929 01:17:29,458 --> 01:17:30,291 Are you okay? 1930 01:17:32,541 --> 01:17:34,291 Hey, do you want to see my hidden talent? 1931 01:17:35,333 --> 01:17:37,291 Okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure. 1932 01:17:37,375 --> 01:17:39,166 I need a breadstick for this. I don't. 1933 01:17:39,250 --> 01:17:40,708 All right, here we go. 1934 01:17:41,416 --> 01:17:44,750 [groans] 1935 01:17:45,291 --> 01:17:46,125 Yeah. 1936 01:17:46,208 --> 01:17:47,041 [grunts] 1937 01:17:47,291 --> 01:17:48,416 [laughs] 1938 01:17:48,875 --> 01:17:49,708 -Wow. -[Tim grunts] 1939 01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:51,583 [grunting] 1940 01:17:51,666 --> 01:17:53,250 -[panting] -Look at you. 1941 01:17:53,791 --> 01:17:56,333 -Walking away on your hands. -[Tim] I'm doing it! Look! 1942 01:17:56,416 --> 01:17:57,708 -Watch the corners. -[Tim] Oh! 1943 01:17:57,791 --> 01:17:59,416 [grunts] [screams] 1944 01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:00,333 Oh! 1945 01:18:00,416 --> 01:18:01,916 [gasps] Tim! 1946 01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:02,833 Aah! 1947 01:18:03,625 --> 01:18:04,458 [groans] 1948 01:18:05,083 --> 01:18:05,916 Aah! 1949 01:18:06,541 --> 01:18:07,375 Aah. 1950 01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:08,916 [exhales] 1951 01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,291 ["Elodie" playing] 1952 01:18:10,375 --> 01:18:12,958 ♪ Elodie, it's been a while ♪ 1953 01:18:14,833 --> 01:18:16,833 ♪ Giving up on love ♪ 1954 01:18:16,916 --> 01:18:18,708 ♪ That's not my style ♪ 1955 01:18:20,291 --> 01:18:22,333 ♪ And with a heavy heart ♪ 1956 01:18:22,416 --> 01:18:24,416 ♪ I come back to say ♪ 1957 01:18:26,833 --> 01:18:30,208 ♪ I'm another man, I'm another one... ♪ 1958 01:18:31,791 --> 01:18:33,791 [Melissa] Tim! Tim! 1959 01:18:33,875 --> 01:18:35,666 Tim! Are you okay? 1960 01:18:36,125 --> 01:18:36,958 Hey. Oh, it's you. 1961 01:18:37,625 --> 01:18:38,458 Hi. 1962 01:18:39,833 --> 01:18:42,625 No. You know what? I'm not okay. Nothing's okay. 1963 01:18:42,708 --> 01:18:44,166 -Did I do something wrong? -[chuckles] 1964 01:18:44,750 --> 01:18:45,958 No. [inhales] 1965 01:18:46,041 --> 01:18:46,875 You're perfect. 1966 01:18:46,958 --> 01:18:50,750 We read the same books. We laugh at the same jokes. 1967 01:18:51,416 --> 01:18:52,916 We're both tens. 1968 01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:54,208 You're fucking hot. 1969 01:18:54,291 --> 01:18:56,791 But I met somebody else, 1970 01:18:56,875 --> 01:18:59,250 and she's loud, and she's borderline psychotic. 1971 01:18:59,333 --> 01:19:02,458 She carries a knife. But I think I'm falling in love with her. 1972 01:19:02,916 --> 01:19:04,333 I don't know, but I'm sorry. 1973 01:19:04,416 --> 01:19:06,083 Tim, it's all good. 1974 01:19:06,500 --> 01:19:08,458 I mean, we made out in a janitor's closet. 1975 01:19:08,541 --> 01:19:09,833 I think I'll be okay. 1976 01:19:09,916 --> 01:19:11,250 So where is this girl? 1977 01:19:11,333 --> 01:19:13,416 Oh, she... she took off. She... 1978 01:19:14,041 --> 01:19:15,833 She flew off. I broke her heart! 1979 01:19:15,916 --> 01:19:19,083 What? She flew back? I was supposed to be on her flight! 1980 01:19:19,166 --> 01:19:21,416 I gotta fucking move here now? God! 1981 01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:25,500 Hey, can you pop that ankle back into place? 1982 01:19:27,541 --> 01:19:29,000 I don't know how to do that. 1983 01:19:30,041 --> 01:19:30,916 Exactly. 1984 01:19:31,416 --> 01:19:33,208 ["This Life" playing] 1985 01:19:36,916 --> 01:19:41,458 ♪ Baby, I know pain Is as natural as the rain... ♪ 1986 01:19:41,541 --> 01:19:42,375 [phone chimes] 1987 01:19:43,958 --> 01:19:45,166 [phone chimes] 1988 01:19:48,208 --> 01:19:52,625 ♪ Baby, I know love Isn't what I thought it was... ♪ 1989 01:19:52,708 --> 01:19:53,541 [phone chimes] 1990 01:19:53,625 --> 01:19:59,833 ♪ 'Cause I've never known A love like this before ya ♪ 1991 01:20:05,041 --> 01:20:07,791 ♪ Baby, I know dreams tend to crumble... ♪ 1992 01:20:07,875 --> 01:20:08,750 [phone chimes] 1993 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:14,333 ♪ I just thought our dream would last A little bit longer... ♪ 1994 01:20:14,416 --> 01:20:15,291 [phone chimes] 1995 01:20:17,416 --> 01:20:21,041 [Missy on video] Live your life. You need to quit your job, so... Okay! 1996 01:20:21,125 --> 01:20:23,833 You need to quit. Start over. Start fresh. 1997 01:20:23,916 --> 01:20:26,333 You're all little sheep. Live your life! 1998 01:20:28,416 --> 01:20:30,541 Mr. Winstone? Tim Morris is here. 1999 01:20:32,625 --> 01:20:33,958 I love that guy. 2000 01:20:36,250 --> 01:20:39,000 Well, Tim, excited about the new gig? 2001 01:20:39,083 --> 01:20:40,666 You've really been kicking ass. 2002 01:20:40,750 --> 01:20:43,291 Hairy werewolf vagina with yellow teeth and a tongue. 2003 01:20:46,208 --> 01:20:48,500 Wait a second. You're not my Nana! 2004 01:20:49,041 --> 01:20:50,666 -Yeah. -Get the fuck out of here. 2005 01:20:50,750 --> 01:20:52,750 I will pack up my office now. 2006 01:20:52,833 --> 01:20:54,208 ♪ This life ♪ 2007 01:20:57,958 --> 01:20:59,875 ♪ And all its suffering ♪ 2008 01:20:59,958 --> 01:21:01,000 [song ends] 2009 01:21:01,083 --> 01:21:02,625 ["Tradition" playing in the background] 2010 01:21:09,833 --> 01:21:10,708 {\an8}[phone chimes] 2011 01:21:25,833 --> 01:21:26,791 Hey, what's up? 2012 01:21:27,625 --> 01:21:28,958 You're Vanilla Ice. 2013 01:21:29,041 --> 01:21:30,750 Shut the fuck up. 2014 01:21:30,833 --> 01:21:32,916 -Care to join me? -More than anything in the world! 2015 01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:34,666 Okay. Two shots of tequila. 2016 01:21:34,750 --> 01:21:36,166 -We're gonna fucking party. -Wow. 2017 01:21:36,250 --> 01:21:38,375 -You put some ice-ice in there? -You put-- Yeah! 2018 01:21:38,458 --> 01:21:39,666 [both laugh] 2019 01:21:40,250 --> 01:21:42,583 Put ice-ice in it, baby! Yeah! 2020 01:21:42,666 --> 01:21:44,458 Oh, my God. 2021 01:21:44,541 --> 01:21:46,083 Wow, are we gonna fuck tonight? 2022 01:21:46,166 --> 01:21:47,208 [Vanilla Ice laughs] 2023 01:21:47,291 --> 01:21:49,000 Why are you even on a dating app? 2024 01:21:49,625 --> 01:21:50,625 Playa's gotta play. 2025 01:21:50,708 --> 01:21:51,791 [both laugh] 2026 01:21:51,875 --> 01:21:53,041 "Playa's gotta--" 2027 01:21:53,125 --> 01:21:54,666 Hey, Missy. 2028 01:21:54,750 --> 01:21:56,250 What the fuck are you doing here? 2029 01:21:56,333 --> 01:21:58,416 That was me texting you. I was the one. 2030 01:21:58,500 --> 01:22:00,750 No. It was Vanilla Ice texting me. 2031 01:22:00,833 --> 01:22:03,333 No. I was playing your joke on you. 2032 01:22:03,416 --> 01:22:05,291 Like we did when I met you. 2033 01:22:05,375 --> 01:22:06,333 No. 2034 01:22:06,583 --> 01:22:08,958 The text said black hat and black sweatshirt, 2035 01:22:09,041 --> 01:22:10,041 not shameless wig. 2036 01:22:10,125 --> 01:22:10,958 Bye. 2037 01:22:11,583 --> 01:22:13,041 [stammers] It wasn't me. 2038 01:22:13,625 --> 01:22:15,333 It was you, Rob. 2039 01:22:15,416 --> 01:22:18,791 I wish it was, but good luck with shrimp-stick here. 2040 01:22:20,291 --> 01:22:21,583 You're my date? 2041 01:22:22,166 --> 01:22:23,000 Yeah. 2042 01:22:24,166 --> 01:22:25,125 Fuck. 2043 01:22:25,875 --> 01:22:27,291 God, he was so hot. 2044 01:22:27,375 --> 01:22:28,750 And I'm not talking to you. 2045 01:22:28,833 --> 01:22:30,458 Wait, I just want to tell you that... 2046 01:22:31,916 --> 01:22:32,791 I miss you, 2047 01:22:32,875 --> 01:22:35,500 and-- and I'm really sorry about what happened. 2048 01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:37,708 -Okay. -Look, no. Let me just... 2049 01:22:38,833 --> 01:22:40,666 Can't I get a second chance? 2050 01:22:41,458 --> 01:22:42,458 I don't know, Tim. 2051 01:22:44,375 --> 01:22:47,583 Look, I don't want to be the guy that's always serious. 2052 01:22:47,666 --> 01:22:49,250 Or letting my boss' approval 2053 01:22:49,333 --> 01:22:53,250 just overshadow everything that should mean something in my life. 2054 01:22:53,333 --> 01:22:55,041 And that's why I quit my job today. 2055 01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:56,916 I mean, fuck, I want to travel. 2056 01:22:57,000 --> 01:23:01,166 I want to go out and... be free. 2057 01:23:01,708 --> 01:23:02,833 I want to be fun. 2058 01:23:02,916 --> 01:23:05,333 I want to be unapologetic about who I am. 2059 01:23:05,416 --> 01:23:08,291 I want to have strong opinions about things I know nothing about. 2060 01:23:08,375 --> 01:23:10,833 I want to carry a machete. I want to... 2061 01:23:11,416 --> 01:23:12,375 [exhales] 2062 01:23:12,458 --> 01:23:13,583 I want to be like you. 2063 01:23:15,666 --> 01:23:18,458 I never meant for any of this to happen, but I'm glad it did. 2064 01:23:19,625 --> 01:23:21,500 It's only been a couple weeks, but... 2065 01:23:22,666 --> 01:23:24,583 I don't like my life as much without you. 2066 01:23:30,916 --> 01:23:33,125 Would you accept this rose? 2067 01:23:36,166 --> 01:23:39,041 Okay, but later tonight, I'm fuckfacing you with Vanilla. 2068 01:23:40,041 --> 01:23:42,125 Why don't we have the real thing join us? 2069 01:23:42,416 --> 01:23:44,083 Not a chance, shrimp-dick. 2070 01:23:45,708 --> 01:23:48,000 -Did he say no? Embarrassing. -[laughs] 2071 01:23:53,666 --> 01:23:55,750 [man] I got a chai smoothie for J.J. 2072 01:23:57,333 --> 01:23:59,750 ["I Can Feel It" playing] 2073 01:24:07,625 --> 01:24:09,791 ♪ There's something in the air I sense it ♪ 2074 01:24:09,875 --> 01:24:12,625 ♪ Like the wind, it changed directions ♪ 2075 01:24:16,500 --> 01:24:18,750 ♪ I can hear a storm, it's rumbling ♪ 2076 01:24:18,833 --> 01:24:21,333 ♪ Sounds like a freight train coming ♪ 2077 01:24:24,541 --> 01:24:27,166 ♪ Oh, it's a current, electric A fire, magnetic ♪ 2078 01:24:27,250 --> 01:24:29,208 ♪ The city streets at night ♪ 2079 01:24:29,291 --> 01:24:31,666 ♪ An eruption, explosion An earthquake, commotion ♪ 2080 01:24:31,750 --> 01:24:33,416 ♪ A gamma ray burst of light ♪ 2081 01:24:34,291 --> 01:24:35,250 ♪ I can feel it ♪ 2082 01:24:37,291 --> 01:24:40,875 ♪ Oh, it's like the stars aligned ♪ 2083 01:24:40,958 --> 01:24:41,916 ♪ I can feel it ♪ 2084 01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:49,750 ♪ Tonight's the night I come alive ♪ 2085 01:24:49,833 --> 01:24:50,916 ♪ I can feel it ♪ 2086 01:24:53,166 --> 01:24:55,291 ♪ It's all coming into my view ♪ 2087 01:24:55,375 --> 01:24:57,916 ♪ My eyes see for miles, I'm on the move ♪ 2088 01:25:01,958 --> 01:25:04,208 ♪ Look now, the water's raging ♪ 2089 01:25:04,291 --> 01:25:06,541 ♪ It feels like the tides are changing ♪ 2090 01:25:09,750 --> 01:25:10,875 ♪ Can you feel it? ♪ 2091 01:25:12,791 --> 01:25:16,416 ♪ Oh, it's like the stars aligned ♪ 2092 01:25:16,500 --> 01:25:17,541 ♪ I can feel it ♪ 2093 01:25:21,500 --> 01:25:24,916 ♪ Tonight's the night I come alive ♪ 2094 01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:25,833 ♪ I can feel it ♪ 2095 01:25:25,916 --> 01:25:28,416 We are on the right track to Portland, right, Komante? 2096 01:25:28,500 --> 01:25:30,458 Oh, yeah, this is definitely-- This is the route. 2097 01:25:30,541 --> 01:25:32,375 I've taken it before... I think. 2098 01:25:32,875 --> 01:25:35,791 [Cal Sr.] Well, when we left, the GPS said we'd be there in 12 days. 2099 01:25:35,875 --> 01:25:37,875 [Komante] Twelve days, weeks, it's all pretty good. 2100 01:25:37,958 --> 01:25:40,541 We'll be there in no time, just right up here on the coast. 2101 01:25:40,625 --> 01:25:43,125 -[Cal Sr.] I don't see any coast. -[Komante] What? 2102 01:25:43,208 --> 01:25:45,250 [Cal Sr.] I don't see any... I don't see the coast. 2103 01:25:45,333 --> 01:25:48,166 [Komante] But when you see the coast, you just make a right on the coast. 2104 01:25:48,250 --> 01:25:51,250 [Cal Sr.] I gotta tell you, I'm starting to lose a little confidence here. 2105 01:25:51,333 --> 01:25:54,041 [Komante] Don't do that. Maybe if you're a little more confident, 2106 01:25:54,125 --> 01:25:55,541 you'd have a little more hair. 2107 01:25:55,625 --> 01:25:57,083 I got this foam, and it really works. 2108 01:25:57,166 --> 01:25:59,250 I'm surprised you haven't noticed my overflowing pubes. 2109 01:25:59,333 --> 01:26:01,166 -[Cal Sr.] Is that what that is? -[Komante] Yes. 2110 01:26:01,250 --> 01:26:02,916 [Cal Sr.] I thought you were wearing a belt. 2111 01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:06,125 [Komante] It ain't no belt. Try to pull on it. Go ahead. It's as good as a belt. 2112 01:26:06,208 --> 01:26:08,916 [Cal Sr.] No, it's okay. Let's just keep paddling. 2113 01:26:09,000 --> 01:26:11,208 [Komante] When the sun goes down, you tug all you want. 2114 01:26:11,291 --> 01:26:12,958 [upbeat instrumental music playing] 2115 01:28:08,208 --> 01:28:10,041 [instrumental music plays] 2116 01:29:18,833 --> 01:29:19,875 [music ends] 146951

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