Original subtitles

Hayley ...and that's what the universal translator is for.

Jake So when you say 'universal translator'...?

It's exactly that. Any creature that has

a language, this will take it and turn it into English.

Oh, and you flip this switch and your words are put

into the last language on the translator.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Danker Aororroooaoroaooroo...

Poor guy sounds sad.

That's just the Danker. This is what

he's really saying:

Translator I love it cold. I love it dark.

Happy, happy smile time. I love it cold.

I love it dark... That's awesome!

Felix I know, huh. Hayley Jake, you're going

to be dealing with a lot of high tech gadgets.

The Troop doesn't play around with its equipment.

Nothing but the best.

Hayley Then again,

there's always room for improvement, I guess.

Felix Here monster, monster, monster!

Translator Bleahblahgrrg.

Jake Come here.

Well, that's the last one.

Wow, that Ratodon has a temper.

That's why we keep them in cages, Einstein.

Still early, plenty of time

to get into my costume and go trick or treating.

Not so fast, Felix. Hayley What'd you find?

Well, I found what's left of the monstropental regulator,

which broke and caused the reciprocating hydrogenator

to fail resulting in an overload of the security system.

I also found a baseball, a flying disc,

two overdue library books

and a bi-centennial quarter.

Heh!

Jake So 'monstropental regulator',

what does that all mean? Stockley It's broken.

The electrical grid is shot. I jury-rigged it

so it will hold till I can make the proper repairs.

Hayley Let's call International HQ.

They'll get someone out here to fix it.

Guten abend, Stockley. What now?

Just wanted to say "Happy Halloween", Dr. Brandenbury.

Gotta go, bye.

I've made a few too many requests to International

lately: new communicators, new pulse blaster, team hats.

They said I could only have one.

Anyway, it's a simple power core decoupling

and redistribution job. I got this.

Great! See you guys around then.

But it does mean that one of us is going to have to say here,

keep an eye on things while I go get the parts.

But Mr. Stockley, it's Halloween.

I know. I'm sorry.

But somebody has to stay.

So who's it going to be? Hayley?

Ha, sure, I guess I could.

I've only been working on this charity haunted house for like

two months, getting it ready, you know, for the needy.

But if you guy think it's more important that 15 year-olds

go around, playing dress up for candy, that's just fine.

I'll tell the starving children, 'Better luck next time."

Jake Tough break. Guess it's you buddy!

No way.

I am not staying here on Halloween.

Tonight is my night and I don't get many nights.

I started working on this Gibbering Troolis costume

on January 1st.

So...whaddya' think?

I busted my butt for weeks designing and calibrating

to my exacting standards.

And just as the Troolis's call summons the other monsters

to its lair, so will I summon candy into my pumpkin bucket.

It's perfect!

You're not the only one with a costume.

I was going to draw a goatee on my face.

Then I go as Evil Jake.

Fine, I'll stay.

I'm grateful, and so are the kids.

Such a sweetie.

She's right, you're so sweet.

I'll try to be fast, but Halloween's bad for driving.

Translator Hey, don't worry. You and I can have fun.

Ninety nine bottles of slime on the wall

Ninety nine bottles of slime

Take one down, pass it around

Ninety eight bottles of slime on the wall

Ninety eight bottles of...

Hayley Hey kids, welcome to the haunted house.

Have fun, guys. Don't get too scared.

Have fun. Ticket.

Hey, thank you so much for coming, guys.

Hey, tell your friends. And don't forget "Boo!"

Hey, Phoebe.

How was it? Did you have fun?

It was fine.

"Fine?" Huh.

Didn't it scare you? Was it suppose to be scary?

Well, yeah. It's a haunted house.

Oh, right.

Well, I'm sure some people thought it was scary.

Like, toddlers, or tiny babies.

Really, the blood on the walls?

A bowl of eyeballs?

Only scary to toddlers?

And tiny babies.

Maybe you should advertise it as a place that's scary for babies,

then people would bring their babies here

and you could scare them.

Just so that the last

eight weeks of my life weren't completely wasted,

why don't we just walk through together,

and you can show me where it could be scarier, okay?

Okay.

Yawn.

Announcer ...we've got a mile of used cars, each one

priced by a crazy chimpanzee.

Radio Host Tales of the

sinister and macabre, all Halloween evening.

Tales to terrify your very soul.

Muah ha ha ha!

All right, radio, challenge accepted.

Let's see who's scared of what.

Seven bottles

of slime on the wall Seven bottles of slime

Take one down, pass it around

Six bottles of slime on the wall

Six bottles of slime on the wall

Six bottles of slime Take one down, pass it around

Okay, taking a lunch break, Danker.

Translator Okay, Jake. When you get back,

we can take it from the top.

No, no. Noooo.

No!

Gone, gone, they're all gone.

Haunting voice Yeah ha ha!

Arghhh!

Nice try, but I've seen it.

Seen it? Really?

You have seen an ogre charging at you, with horns!

Listen, if you want to be scared check out

the haunted house at Second Presbyterian Church.

They're handing out extra pants.

What's up, Jake? Is that Jake?

Tell him to come pick me up so we can go trick or treating.

I'm booored! Dude, chillax.

Phoebe I'll chillax, once I get what's coming to me.

A sack full of candy and a brother who does

what he says he'll do.

Jake Hayley, listen. We have bigger problems

than my sister. The monsters are loose.

What? That's a disaster!

How did it happen?

I guess we'll never know.

I'll head out to round up any monsters I can.

Stick Phoebe somewhere safe and meet me on Caine Ave.

Got it, see you there in ten.

Is he coming to get me? No, but soon.

In the meantime,let me show you to a room

where you can wait for him.

Ha, nice try Hayley.

I can see you've put in some effort.

That weird, pale, paper mache skin.

Hic-up!

This is Mrs. Vanderveen.

She's the executive director of 'Foods for Little Dudes'.

That's who we're raising money for.

Mrs. Vanderveen, this is Phoebe.

I was wondering, can you keep an eye on her

for just a little bit while I run out?

I'd love to.

Do you have a TV? No, but we have something

twice as good

...the radio! Oh, goodie!

Radio Host ...and as they turned, they saw the ghost

point to the very spot they were standing on!

What kind of baby is afraid of this stuff?

Radio Host And the Menlowe brothers were never seen again.

Muha ha ha!

Felix Thank you, thank you.

One does like to be appreciated for the effort.

Ha ha! Your maps have a route

I've designed for candy maximizing pleasure.

Sure, go ahead. I'll catch up.

Happy hunting.

Whoa!

Phenomenal costume, my friend.

You even got the slime right. That's amazing.

That's not bad. Remember, this is the call

that has the power to attract other monsters.

But it's more like...

Mmmwwwrgrrguurglll!

Okay, let's start a grid pattern

and clear each grid of monsters. That's the only way to be sure.

So what did Stockley say when you told him?

You didn't tell him?

Jake, he's our advisor. We rely on him.

In times of crisis, he is our rock.

Radio Host And he saw, stuck in the side door of the car,

a stainless steel hook!

Muah ha ha ha!

Aaaggghhh! Aaaahhh!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were trying to kill me.

I have some mints.

Dude, okay.

Wet Willy from a Gibbering Troolis is very fun but can

phew, can we give it a rest now, please.

Hey, Jake. Felix, the monsters are out.

They escaped? How'd that happen?

We'll never know.

But you need to come give Hayley and me a hand

to round the monsters back up.

Dude, that is seriously getting annoying.

Knock it off! Jake What's going on?

Just some other guy in a Giggering Troolis costume,

being a jerk!

Keep you eyes peeled for monsters.

Right, I'll...

Troolis costume?

It's not a guy, is it, Jake?

I don't think it is.

Aaarrghhh!

Felix, take it easy. Felix Help, Hayley,

it's tasting me! It's tasting me!

Felix, calm down. It's not going to eat you.

No?

No, ha, I promise.

Hey, you're right.

Hayley That wasn't its hunting call,

that was its mating call.

His what?

I think it's in love with you.

You're not in any real danger.

Felix Oh, I don't think I heard you right

because the yard-long tongue poking into my ear hole.

Sick! Try to get a picture. Felix No!

Lead it back to headquarters. No, the haunted house

is closer. Lead it there.

And the Troolis' song will attract all the other monsters.

But it's gonna ruin my haunted house.

I've been working on that thing for eight weeks.

Word on the street is that Second Presbyterian's

haunted house is killing yours anyway.

Perfect. Hayley's will be empty.

Hey! We'll turn the house

into a trap and catch all the monsters in one shot.

Do have any idea how hard it is to make a haunted house?

Our fog machines keep breaking down,

the sound effects CD only lasts 20 minutes,

oh, and it's hard to get good fake blood nowadays.

You done? Fine.

Okay, at the haunted house, but you both gotta be there.

We'll be there, just make sure you bring your boyfriend.

Felix Don't call him that.

Can we just try being friends and see where it goes?

Hayley People, people, people!

You need to leave here at once. There are monsters on their way.

Halloween.

Ahh...

But seriously, guys, we're all out of cider and cookies.

Felix Hide me. Felix, that's not the plan.

Felix We have a plan?

Jake Since the Troolis is attracted to you...

Felix The costume you mean. ...lure it into

the basement and, you know, keep it interested.

Felix How's that? Flirt.

And that's the recipe for rye crackers.

And you make wheat crackers in a different

but equally exciting way...

Excuse me, I have to go.

To the bathroom, dearie?

No.

Jake No more complaining, just shake your bootie.

Mr. Stockley over watch-com I'm going to let the back-talk

slide because I asked you to work on Halloween.

But you shouldn't be talking to adults that way.

Sorry, Mr. Stockley. What's up?

Picked up the stuff and I'm on my way.

Shouldn't be too much longer. Great.

Any problems?

Nope, just being bored because everything's

so quiet and under control. Oh, listen.

I wanted to warn you. Don't use the microwave.

It might crash the electrical grid again.

Good to know, thanks. Talk to you soon.

Felix How do you like this, big boy?

It's show time.

Last one, dude. Except for the Ratodon.

Ratodon.

Hey, Jake.

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

He's tearing my costume into shreds and I think

I'm starting to get a reputation.

You're doing great, Felix. This is going much smoother

than I thought it would. Felix That's easy

for you to say, you're not the heartbreaker.

Hey, Felix. Cool costume.

Phoebe! What are you doing?

Talking to Felix.

Whoa! Your breath smells like cheese and tires.

Jake, that's a Ratodon.

I...I know. Now we have to contain it.

Do you have any candy? I haven't gotten any all night.

You better keep it away

from the Troolis because they hate each other.

Phoebe.

Come over here ...slowly.

Then can I have some candy? Sure.

Here, here's some candy right here.

Felix, he said it was mine.

Just let him have it, Phoebe! Jake Phoebe, no!

Felix, you better get up here right now.

And take off that costume before you come.

Not a problem.

It's not me, it's you. You're a monster.

Argh!

Oh, come on!

It's my candy. I called it.

Help me!

Get it open!

I'm trying, it's jammed.

My little sister's in there!

Hayley Okay, well how can we help?

Take the hinges off. Felix They're on the inside.

I got it.

Phoebe Finally, some candy.

Hayley, I was wrong.

This is the best haunted house ever!

Felix Phew! That's the last of them.

Man, that was too close.

Oh, look at you guys laying around.

Are you really that bored? Jake Ha, hey Mr. Stockley,

did you get everything you needed?

I sure did. And I brought you back

a little holiday treat. Candy?

Even better. Allen wrenches.

Next best thing. Thanks.

Hey, Mr. Stockley, are you ever going to tell

International HQ about the security failure?

Hayley, sometimes the less your superiors know, the better.

I have no problem with that, sir.

Translator Hey Stockley,

you missed all the fun! There was this power outage....

Argh! Shhh shhh shhh!