Original subtitles

There must be so many much more amusing ways

of spending Saturday afternoon than at crystal palace.

That is precisely why papa insisted on the crystal palace.

Grace, it's really all your part for allowing

Mr. Sullivan to fall in love with you.

Everyone agrees that one day Mr. Sullivan

will be our greatest composer of music.

I'm proud to be inspired his affections.

J oh father our redeemer j

J hallelujah j

j hallelujah j

Jamenj

You can wake up now, Willie.

Fine composition, Gilbert.

You should make a point of hearing it sometime.

I shall tell Sullivan it transported me to another world.

I was so proud of you, Arthur, so very proud.

When can we be married?

- One day. - Soon?

Your old professor from leipzig was enraptured.

There are no heights of music

which you may not scale, he says.

How soon?

You will write great music for me, will you not Arthur?

Grace.

Oratorios, symphonies, serenades,

and grand, grand opera.

When can we be married?

Soon, I said soon.

Arthur, what was Mr., what was his name,

Mr. Gilbert doing at the crystal palace?

Gilbert?

I invited him there, you know.

And the man with him?

D'oyly carte.

Another theatrical person?

Arthur, you are not working again with Mr. Gilbert?

Well.

Arthur!

Grace

I wish I could make you understand.

What am I beside you?

A nobody, only the son of poor lambeth bandmaster

with nothing but my music.

I freely admit I'll turn my hand to anything

to make our marriage possible.

Last week, if you must know,

I sold half a dozen pot boilers to Mr. chapel

at five guineas a time.

Pot boilers?

Grace.

What is it?

And I thought I was helping you.

You are, you know you are,

it was for you that I wrote my oratorio.

And from all the stories in the holy scriptures,

which did you choose?

The prodigal son.

How can I ever approach your father?

When you worked with Mr. Gilbert once before,

was it successful?

I admit thespis didn't do too well.

How will another failure help you?

But d'oyly carte thinks.

Darling, Arthur,

if you really love me you'll go to your theatrical friends

but you cannot compose their comic operetta.

How can I?

I've already started it.

You were taught by the pupil of Beethoven himself.

You must learn to dedicate yourself to your art religiously,

like the great masters.

The theatre, dearest Arthur, is not your world.

Grace, are you there?

Yes, papa.

Ah.

Our guests are waiting for you, my dear.

Then I must go them, papa, must I not?

I'm afraid Mr. Sullivan has to leave us.

He has a very important appointment.

Curious girl, grace.

Do you understand her, Mr. Sullivan?

- Well, sir I... - I don't.

Never understood her mother either.

Indeed, sir?

No, no, not for a moment.

Do you know we have produced seven children

in a state of mutual misunderstanding?

All girls.

She seems to think you are a genius, are you?

Well, sir, I hope not.

A genius so often has to be supported

by his father in law.

But, sir, I wouldn't dream of approaching you

unless I have the means of supporting grace.

[T would cheer me up immensely

if there was an early prospect of,

let's be exceedingly modest, a thousand a year?

Thousand a year?

There you are, my boy.

I hope you aren't going to feel

that you aren't welcome here.

You're a brilliant fellow, they tell me.

Though I must say I'd feel happier

if you were on the stock exchange, eh?

Well, consider it, my boy, consider it.

Think it over.

Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight, Mr. Sullivan.

Mind you, 2,000 a year would be better.

J the rich attorney, he jumped with joy j

j and replied to my fond professions j

j you shall reap the reward of your pluck, my boy j

j at the Bailey and middlesex sessions j

j you'll soon get used to her looks, said he j

j and a very nice girl you'll find her &

j she may very well pass for 43 j

j in the dusk, with a light behind her j

Sullivan, my dear chap, congratulations.

Congratulations.

Your first batch of music is really superb.

Gilbert and I are absolutely delighted, aren't we, Gilbert?

We are indeed, and I know what I'm talking about.

I once succeeded in distinguishing pop! Goes the weasel

from god save the queen.

The point is can you be ready with the rest

by the next week?

Oh, well we have to make the week after then.

No, you misunderstand me.

Well, of course if you can manage it earlier,

I'm presenting it on the 25th.

What?

With a new opera by offenbach.

Stiff competition, you know offenbach.

We have to try to beat the frenchmen at his own game.

I'm sure you will.

What offenbach can do, Sullivan can do, eh?

Offenbach made a fortune.

Yes, and what I mean is why shouldn't the two of you

start a new school of english light opera?

Why not, indeed?

I have no personal objections to making a fortune.

Gilbert?

Hm?

Speaking of offenbach,

how much would you say he makes a year?

I think 1,000 out of London alone.

1,000 a year?

Probably two.

2,000 a year?

I Mark that allegro vivace should go faster like this,

here let me show you.

J silence in court j

j and all attention lend j

j behold your judge j

j in due submission bend j

J when I, good friends, was called to the bar &

j I'd an appetite fresh and hearty j

j but I was, as many young barristers are j

j an impecunious party j

j I'd a swallow-tail coat of a beautiful blue &

j a brief which I bought of a booby j

j a couple of shirts and a collar or two j

j and a ring that looked like a Ruby j

j a couple of shirts and a collar or two j

j and a ring that looked like a Ruby j

j in westminster hall I danced a dance j

j like a semi-despondent fury j

j for I thought I should never hit on a chance j

j of addressing a British jury &

j but I soon got tired of third-class journeys j

j and dinners of bread and water j

j& so I fell in love with a rich attorney's j

j elderly, ugly daughter &

j& so he fell in love with a rich attorney's j

j elderly, ugly daughter &

j the rich attorney, he jumped with joy j

j and replied to my fond professions j

j you shall reap the reward of your pluck, my boy j

j at the Bailey and middlesex sessions j

j you'll soon get used to her looks, said he j

j and a very nice girl you'll find her &

j she may very well pass for 43 j

j in the dusk, with a light behind her j

j she may very well pass for 43 j

j in the dusk, with a light behind her j

j at length I became as rich as the gurneys j

j an incubus then I thought her j

j so I threw over that rich attorney's j

j elderly, ugly daughter &

j the rich attorney my character high j

j tried vainly to disparage j

j no j

j yes j

j and now, if you please, I'm ready to try j

j this breach of promise of marriage j

j and now, if you please, he's ready to try j

j this breach of promise of marriage j

j& where is the plaintiff, let her now be brought j

j Angelina j

J comes the broken flower j

j comes the cheated maid j

j though the tempest lower &

j rain and cloud will fade j

j take, oh take these posies j

j though thy beauty rare j

j shame the blushing roses j

j they are passing fair j

j they are walking there j

j fairest days are sun and shade j

j I am no unhappy maid j

j wear the flowers till they fade j

j happy be thy life, oh maid j

j happy, happy be thy life, oh maid j

J may it please you, my lud j

j gentlemen of the jury &

j see my interesting client &

j victim of a heartless wile j&

j see the traitor all defiant j&

j wear a supercilious smile &

j sweetly smiled my client on him &

j coyly woo'd and gently won him j

j sweetly smiled his client on him &

j coyly woo'd and gently won him j

j picture, then, my client naming j

j and insisting on the day j

j picture him excuses framing j

j going from her far away j

j doubly criminal to do so j

j for the maid had bought her trousseau j

j doubly criminal to do so j

j for the maid had bought her trousseau j

j cheer up, my pretty j

j oh, cheerup j

j cheer up, cheer up j

j we love you j

j cheer up, my pretty j jahme jl

j oh cheer up j jahme jd

J I love him, I love him, with fervour unceasing j

j I worship and madly adore j

j my blind adoration is ever increasing j

j my loss I shall ever deplore j

j oh, see what a blessing, what love and caressing j

j I've lost, and remember it, pray j

j when you I'm addressing, are busy assessing j

j the damages Edwin must pay j

j yes, he must pay j

j I smoke like a furnace, I'm always in liquor &

j a ruffian, a bully, a sot j

j I'm sure I should thrash her, perhaps I should kick her j

j I am such a very bad lot I

j I'm not prepossessing, as you may be guessing j

j she couldn't endure me a day j

j recall my professing, when you are assessing j

j the damages Edwin must pay j

j yes, he must pay j

j we should be fairly j

j I'm sure I should thrash her j&

j perhaps I should kick her &

j I love him, I love him j

j with fervour increasing j j I smoke like a furnace j

j I love him & j I'm always in liquor j

j a ruffian, a bully, a sot j

j the question, gentlemen, is one of liquor j

j you ask for guidance, this is my reply j

j he says, when tipsy, he would thrash and kick her &

j let's make him tipsy, gentlemen, and try &

j with all respect, I do object I

j I do object j j' I don't object j

j with all respect, I do object I

j I do object j

j put your briefs upon the shelf j

j I will marry her myself &

jahj

J on, joy unbounded j

j with wealth surrounded j

j the knell is sounded j

j of grief and woe j

j with love devoted j

j on you he's doted I

j to castle moated j

j away they go j

j I wonder whether they'll live together j

j in marriage tether, in manner true j

j it seems to me, sir, of such as she, sir &

j a judge is he, sir, and a good judge too j

j oh, I am a judge j

j and a good judge too j

j yes, I am a judge j

j and a good judge too j

j though homeward as you trudge j

j you declare my law is fudge j

j yet of beauty I'm a judge j

j and a good judge too j

j the defendant is a snob j

j and a good snob, too j

j the defendant is a snob j

j and a good snob, too j

j the defendant is a snob j

j he'll reward him with his fob j

j so we've settled with the job j

j and a good job, too j

Wait, please.

I felt sure you would come, Mr. Sullivan,

but I had nearly given you up.

There were no cabs in this rain.

Where is grace?

It's no use, Mr. Sullivan, I assure you.

Lettie, is that Mr. Sullivan?

Grace, what happened?

Why did you leave like that, grace, without a word?

There was no chance to explain.

I could forgive you for squandering

your gifts on triviality.

It was wrong and wicked, yet I did forgive you.

But when I saw you glory in it.

Grace, I beg you.

I watched you conducting your little operetta,

I saw you afterwards out there bobbing and bowing.

And although I could scarcely believe my eyes,

I saw that you were proud of it, you were in your element.

You liked it, Arthur, you actually liked it.

Grace.

Grace.

Grace, you must listen to me.

Grace. - Well, well, well,

good evening Mr. Sullivan, or is it goodnight?

Good morning to be absolutely accurate.

Sir, I must talk to grace at once.

It will serve no purpose.

Sir, she has just declared that she'll never forgive me.

What more my boy, she undoubtedly means it.

So you don't understand.

Nor do you, therefore we are on equal terms.

Sir, I must have one last word with her.

Take my advice, my boy,

have one last word with me instead.

I've got a very good idea.

You sit yourself down there, I won't be a moment.

Don't run away.

J you'll soon get used to the looks, said he j

j and a very nice girl you'll find her &

j she may very well pass for 43 j

j in the dusk with the light behind her j

capital little tune, that of yours, my boy.

Hold that moment, will you?

Thank you.

J I'm a judge, and a good judge too j

so I am hopeful, if nothing else.

I fear you are right, sir.

I don't understand her.

I suppose she wanted a bach

and found he was only a offenbach.

No pun intended.

Here's to you, Mr. Sullivan.

Your health, sir.

If it is any consolation to you, Arthur,

I suppose I can call you Arthur now we're not to be related,

if it's any consolation to you,

I think you might have had a lucky escape, you know.

How can you say that, sir?

Well, genius, Arthur,

isn't the delicate plant grace thinks.

Oh no, no, no, it's as Hardy as a Jerusalem artichoke.

Grace would have begun by mothering,

but ended by smothering.

It's curious situation, isn't it, sir?

We're a curious family, my boy.

Grace wanted me because of my art.

You rejected me because I have no means.

Now she won't have me and I suppose you would.

Like a shot, like a shot.

But as you can't very well marry me, my boy,

there is only one thing to do.

What's that, sir?

Finish the bottle.

J judge and a good judge too j

j though all my law is fudge j

j I shall never, never budge j

j but I'll live and die a judge j

j and a good judge too j

It is proposed that Gilbert and Sullivan

shall enter into partnership with d'oyly carte.

Sullivan and Gilbert's fees to be four guineas

per performance for each opera,

the profits to be equally divided.

How's that?

I don't think we need a formal contract.

No, no, no, of course not.

Are we too early?

No, of course not, miss lenoir.

To seal the contract?

Happy thoughts, Mrs. Gilbert

- thank you. - Gilbert.

Now remember gentlemen, you mustn't work me too hard.

This is only a side line, you know?

Of course, the college of music must come first.

We are very lucky to have got you at all.

Well, here's to the partnership.

Come on, grossmith, let's give it a try.

J my name is John Wellington Wells j

j I'm a dealer in magic and spells &

j in blessings and curses j

j and ever-filled purses j

j in prophecies, witches, and knells j

J gaily tripping, lightly skipping j

j flock the maidens to the shipping j

j gaily tripping, lightly skipping j

j flock the maidens to the shipping j

j flags and guns and pennants dipping j

j all the ladies love the shipping &

j sailors sprightly, always rightly &

j welcome ladies so politely j

j ladies who can smile so brightly &

j sailors welcome most politely j

j welcome those politely j

j sailors sprightly, always rightly &

j welcome ladies so politely j

j galily tripping & j we are smart and sober men &

j lightly skipping j j and quite devoid of fear j

j flock the maidens j j in all the royal n &

j to the shipping j j none are so smart as we are j

j gaily tripping, lightly skipping j

j sailors welcome most politely j

j most politely j

J dear little buttercup j

j though I could never tell why &

J never mind the why and wherefore j

j love can level ranks, and therefore j

j I admit the jurisdiction j

j ably have you played your part j

j you have carried firm conviction j&

j to my hesitating heart j

j ring the merry bells on board ship j

j rend the air with warbling wild &

j for the union of his lordship &

j with a humble captain's child j

j for a humble captain's daughter j

j for a gallant captain's daughter j

j and a lord who rules the water j

j and a tar who ploughs the water j

j let the air with joy be laden j

j ring the merry bells on board ship j

j for the union of a maiden j

j for her union with his lordship j

j rend with songs the air above j

j for the man who owns her love j

j rend with songs the air above j

j for the man who owns her love j

Encore!

- Speech! - Encore!

Speech, speech!

Come on, sir, you promised.

Go on, say something, Sullivan.

Oh no, words by Gilbert.

Shall I tell them why we are going to America?

Why not?

At this moment in New York,

eight pirate companies are presenting our hms pinafore.

Philadelphia is presenting a German version.

Chicago is presenting a negro version.

No one is presenting our version.

And what's makes even more heartbreaking

is no one is paying us a penny for presenting any version.

Shame.

Are we going to take this shocking state of affairs

lying down?

Are we?

No.

What are we going to do?

Well to begin with,

we're taking our own company of pinafore over there.

I knew there was some reason why

we were going the United States.

And then my dear Gilbert,

you may recall we are going to do something

that we've never done before.

We are writing an entirely new comic opera.

Which is to have its opening night in New York,

instead of London.

What's it about?

Pirates, madame.

Let's hear something from it.

I beg you pardon, captain?

Sing us a song from the new opera.

What, us?

You've brought it on yourselves, you know.

You don't know my voice is like.

Didn't know he had one.

Go to your piano, my dear fellow.

Ladies and gentlemen, in our new piece

we introduce the noble and hitherto neglected figure,

the British policeman.

J& when the enterprising burglar's not a-burgling j&

j not a-burgling j

j& when the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime j

j 'pied in crime j

j he loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling &

j brook a-gurgling j

j and listen to the merry village chime j

j village chime &

j when the coster's finished jumping on his mother &

j on his mother j

j he loves to lie a-basking in the sun j

j in the sun j

j ah, take one consideration with another j

j with another j

j the policeman's lot is not a happy one j

j when constabulary duty's to be done j

j to be done j

j the policeman's lot is not a happy one j

j happy one j

J when the foeman bares his steel j

j tarantara, tarantara j

j we uncomfortable feel j

j tarantara j

j and we find the wisest thing j

j tarantara, tarantara j

j poor wandering one j

j though ye have surely strayed j

j take heart of grace j

j your steps retrace j

j poor wandering ones j

j poor wandering ones j

j if such poor love as mine j

j can help you find j

j true peace of mind j

j why, take it, it is thine j

j come, friends, who plough the sea j

j truce to navigation j

j take another station j

j let's vary piracy j

j with a little burglary j

Girls, girls, quiet, please.

Mr. d'oyly carte.

Good evening, ladies.

Good evening, Mr. d'oyly carte.

Mind the intrusion but I simply had to come and thank you

personally for your wonderful contribution

to our great success.

Are you all looking forward for going home to your mothers?

It should be lovely getting back to London

and the old theatre.

Ah, the old theatre.

Ladies, don't you think that the opera comique

is a little small for the Gilbert & Sullivan company now?

Why, are we going to move, Mr. d'oyly carte?

I can't tell you that, it's a secret.

All right, between the 17 of us, you won't say a word?

No.

I'm sure you won't.

I have bought a site in the strand

for a completely new building.

Within a couple of years and a couple of operas,

we shall have our very own theatre.

The savoy.

Goodnight, ladies.

Goodnight.

And a very happy trip home.

And you.

Oh, I know I can rely absolutely on your indiscretion.

Aren't you ready yet, dear?

Good gracious, I've been waiting for half an hour.

What have you been doing?

It's only half past seven.

Oh Willie, I do wish you wouldn't work yourself

up into such a state on every first night.

You don't seem to realise, dear,

this is no ordinary first night.

Carte built this theatre specially for us.

If lolanthe fails in the full glare of this

confounding new electric light,

you'll find yourself married to a ruined man.

Dear, dear, dear.

We ought to had a fortnight extra rehearsal at least.

Why don't you go away sit down and smoke a cigar.

Sullivan is enough to undermine anybody's nerves.

He is not at all well, as you know, he is a sick man.

He will gad about hobnobbing with half the crowned heads

in Europe leaving everything till the last moment.

What's the result?

He has to sit up all last night scoring the music.

And very nice music it is too

Willie, I do wish.

I don't feel like a cigar

with destruction staring me in the face

Brandy and soda then.

Are we going to celebrate afterwards?

Arthur Sullivan is giving a party at Romano's.

We certainly are not.

I'd as soon think of celebrating a first night

as I would have forthcoming amputation of the hip joint.

Do hurry up.

- Hello, Jenny. - Good evening, Mr. Sullivan.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

The best, glad to meet you.

Arthur.

- Ellen. - My dear, how do you feel?

Feeling better every moment.

The ozone of the theatre,

there's nothing like it

how is he, Louis?

He should never have come out, madame.

Nonsense, how's the house?

That's much more important. Wonderful, come and see.

Everyone will be here tonight,

the prince and Princess of wales, Duke of Edinburgh,

Mr. gladstone, Oscar wilde, Mr. Irving.

They are singing the pirates.

J take heart, fair days will shine &

j take any heart j

j take mine j

j take heart, no danger lowers j

j take any heart, but ours j

Good evening, grossmith.

Good evening, Mr. Gilbert.

How are you feeling?

I'm a bit nervous, I'm afraid.

Oh, you mustn't be nervous,

you are playing the lord chancellor.

Lord chancellors are never at a loss.

No, I suppose not.

And you must remember,

nervousness always communicates itself to other people.

Yes, of course.

I know you won't forget that every syllable

of the nightmare song must be absolutely distinct.

Very good, Mr. Gilbert.

No man can do more than his best.

No, sir.

I've just been putting Paul grossmith at his ease.

Grossmith.

Good luck old chap, all the very best.

Not that you've anything to worry about,

you always rise to the occasion.

You really think so, Dr. Sullivan?

Think so?

I'm sure of it.

Gilbert hates first nights, I love 'em.

Now you're quite sure you know what to do?

- Yes. - On the first signal,

you turn down the gas.

On the second, the electric power.

Mr. carte, their royal highnesses' carriage

has just entered the strand.

- The strand? - Yes.

- Come with me. - Yes.

Your royal highness.

Royal highnesses, your excellencies,

my lords, ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to our theatre, the new home for the genius

of Mr. Gilbert and doctor Sullivan.

This is the first time that it has been attempted

to light any public building with the electricity.

In order that you may judge the difference,

I have withheld the electric lighting

until his royal highness gives his gracious assent

to the new illumination.

Your royal highness.

Thank you, thank you.

Now, some anxiety has been expressed

as to whether there is any danger to the public,

what is termed an electrical shock.

But as you will see,

the lamps are quite safe and easy to handle.

However, some of you may ask,

supposing the lamps were to break,

surely then there will danger of fire.

As you can see,

quite unscorched.

Bravo, well done, carte, well done.

Thank goodness for that.

Are you ready, Mr. Sullivan?

Quite ready.

Good luck.

Going out front?

I'm going for a long walk.

Switch on your stage lighting.

Be ready to take out the house lights.

10 past nine.

J bow, ye tradesmen, bow, ye masses j

j tantantara j

j tantantara tantantara tantantara tantantara &

jtalalararataraj

jlaraj

j tantantara j

J the law is the true embodiment j&

jd of everything that's excellent j

j it has no kind of fault or flaw j&

j and I, my lords, embody the law j

j the constitutional guardian I j

j of pretty young wards in chancery j

j all very agreeable girls, and none j

j are over the age of 21 j

j a pleasant occupation for j

j a rather susceptible chancellor j

j a pleasant occupation for j

j a rather susceptible chancellor j

The nightmare song. - Yes, sir?

Large nightmare and soda.

Beg you pardon, sir?

Large Brandy and soda.

Yes, yes, sir.

J pick 'em all up in a tangle j

j next your pillow resigns and politely declines to remain &

j at its usual angle j

j well, you get some repose in the form of a doze j

j& with hot eye-balls and head ever aching j

j but your slumbering teems with such horrible dreams j

j that you'd very much better be waking j

j for you dream you are crossing the channel j

j and tossing about in a steamer from harwich &

j which is something between a large bathing machine &

j and a very small second-class carriage j

j and you're giving a treat, penny ice and cold meat j

j to a party of friends and relations j

j they're a ravenous horde, and they all came on board j

j at Sloane square and south Kensington stations j

j and bound on that journey you find your attorney j

j who started that morning from Devon j

j he's a bit undersized, and you don't feel surprised j

j when he tells you he's only 11 j

j well, you're driving like mad j

fourpence, please.

- What? - That'll be fourpence, sir.

Sir!

Cab, cab!

Faster.

J two strings go to every bow j

j make up your minds that grief "twill bring j

j if you've two beaux to every string j

j up in the air, sky high, sky high j

j free from wards in chancery j

j we will be surely happier for j

j he's such a susceptible chancellor j

j up in the air, sky high, sky high j

j free from wards in chancery j

j we will be surely happier, for j

j he's such a susceptible chancellor j

Bravo!

Author!

Author!

Thank you, my dear fellow, thank you.

Thanks.

Congratulations, Mr. Gilbert.

Thank you, thank you.

May I congratulate you, Mr. Gilbert?

Thank you, my dear, you were charming, charming.

Ah, my queen of the fairies.

My prince of authors.

Congratulations, Willie darling.

It went wonder. Thank you, my darling.

What a relief, I feel a different man.

Grossmith, my dear fellow, how did the nightmare song go?

Marvellously, thank you, Mr. Gilbert.

A double encore. Capital, capital.

- I say Gilbert. - What is it, what?

- Brandy. - Louis.

What happened?

He's ill

no, it's nothing, nothing, a little giddy.

Sit down a minute.

Pillow.

No, this will do him much more good.

There you are.

Thank you, Gilbert.

He's had no sleep for three nights.

Of course, of course.

How are you feeling now?

Better, much better.

He should never have come, Mr. Gilbert.

Rubbish, Louis, rubbish.

I'm perfectly all right.

Louis, Louis, put him to bed and call a doctor.

Yes, madame.

Is he all right, Mr. Gilbert?

Yes, yes, of course.

Just a little overtired.

He'll be all right in the morning.

Mr. Sullivan's carriage.

Would you like us to come with you?

No, no I'll be all right.

Oh, Gilbert, my supper party at Romano's.

Would you look after it? Of course,

I'll see to it, don't worry about that.

Sorry, Gilbert.

Look after him, Louis.

Yes, sir.

Poor Sullivan, amazing.

Too much for him, you know?

All too much for him

well, now come along everybody, romanos, romanos.

We must celebrate.

J up in the air, sky high, sky high j

j free from wards in chancery j

j we will be surely happier, for j

j he's such a susceptible chancellor j

j up in the air, sky high, sky high j

j free from wards in chancery j

j we will be surely happier, for j

j he's such a susceptible chancellor j

That's better, now where was I?

I hope you forgive me, my dear Gilbert.

Oh, yes, my dear Gilbert.

I hope you forgive me but it is the first time

a new plot of yours has not appealed to me.

Frankly your idea of a magic lozenge

is one that I cannot bring myself to swallow.

Although I'd be only too glad to resume

our happy collaboration on a story of really human interest

and probability.

Meanwhile, there is no hurry as I've accepted an invitation

to compose a dramatic cantata for the Leeds festival

for which my friend Joseph Bennet the eminent critic

is adapting longfellow's beautiful poem the golden legend.

So very much is expected of me

by the world of serious music

that I must devote myself during the coming weeks

to this ambitious work.

How does that sounds to you?

I'm more delighted

than I can say.

Gilbert's not going to like this, you know?

Your friends are asking themselves

what are you going to give us?

Another pirates or pinafore that will be dead and forgotten

in another 10 years or a stream of glorious Harmony

that will live forever.

What's wrong with both?

Oh, Arthur.

Smythe, will you see that this goes

over to Mr. Gilbert by hand at once?

Yes, sir.

It's almost half past, sir.

What?

Good heavens, so it is.

Well, I must be going.

No, my dear Joseph, there's no need for that.

No, no, I mustn't take up your time,

it is too valuable and we haven't much time to spare.

My dear Arthur, the path of the true artist

is beset with temptations.

Thank you.

I'm glad you are devoting yourself

to work of a more earnest character.

Au revoir. - Good bye, Joseph.

Louis, preserve your master from distractions.

We're expecting great things of him.

Yes, sir.

To resume our happy collaboration on a story

of really human interest and probability.

Human interest and probability?

My dear Sullivan.

Willie, darling,

I thought you might like some coffee

as you don't seem to be coming to bed.

How does it feel to be married

to a transcendent genius?

I suppose ll've always taken it for granted, dear.

Milk? - Thank you.

Kitty, I've had a magnificent idea.

How nice.

Biscuit?

Will you telephone Sullivan for me?

But it's past midnight, Willie.

He never goes to bed.

Are you there?

Metropolitan exchange 3684 please.

I'll give him human interest and probability.

- Yes? - Sullivan, can you hear me?

- Oh it's you, Gilbert. - I've got something

to read to you at once. - What?

I'm sending my carriage.

But I'm working, I'm in bed.

Well never mind, get up.

Get dressed, we are going to Japan.

J three little maids from school are we j

j pert as a schoolgirl well can be j

j filled to the brim with girlish glee j

j three little maids from school j

jeverything is a source of fun j

j nobody's safe, for we care for none j

j life is a joke that's just begun j

j three little maids from school j

j three little maids who, all unwary j

j come from a ladies' seminary j

j freed from its genius tutelary j

j three little maids from school j

j one little maid is a bride, yum yum j

j two little maids in attendance come j

j three little maids is the total sum j

j three little maids from school j

j from three little maids take one away j

j two little maids remain, and they j

j won't have to wait very long, they say j

j three little maids from school j

j three little maids who, all unwary j

j come from a ladies' seminary j

j freed from its genius tutelary j

j three little maids from school j

capital, bravo.

May I ask, what was that?

It's from the mikado.

Another comic opera?

Well,

yes.

Well, thank you ladies, that was very nice.

I think that'll be all for today.

Good bye, Dr. Sullivan.

Thank you, Dr. Sullivan.

Thank you, sir.

Goodbye.

Such a lovely tune.

I thought you might like to know

that her majesty the queen

has graciously consented to attend

the first London performance of the golden legend.

The queen?

That is of course if you ever have time to finish it.

J a more humane mikado never j

j did in Japan exist j

j to nobody second j

j I'm certainly reckoned j

j a true philanthropist j

j it is my very humane endeavour j

j to make, to some extent j

j each evil liver j

j a running river j

j of harmless merriment j&

j my object all sublime j

j I shall achieve in time j

j to let the punishment fit the crime &

j the punishment fit the crime j

j and make each prisoner pent j

j unwillingly represent j

j a source of innocent merriment j

j of innocent merriment j

j his object all sublime &

j he shall achieve in time j Gilbert.

What is it, carte?

I think you ought to know,

I still haven't heard anything from Sullivan.

You mean he hasn't sent the music?

Not a crotchet.

But he promised me faithfully.

Here we are, the first full costume rehearsal,

and still three numbers missing.

I shall speak to him on the telephone at once.

I've tried that,

apparently Louis can't get him near the machine.

That's absurd.

Give me my hat. - Yes, sir

you keep them at it, carte.

The time has come to extract these numbers from Sullivan,

if necessary by force.

J sent his messenger of faith j

j and whispered in my maiden's heart j

j riseup js

j rise up j

jana j

J the flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la &

j breathe promise of merry sunshine j

j as we merrily dance and we sing, tra la j

j we welcome the hope that they bring, tra la j

j of a summer of roses and wine j

J here's a how-de-do j

j if I marry you j

j when your time has come to perish j

j when the maiden whom you Cherish &

jd must be slaughtered, too j

j here's a how-de-do j

j here's a pretty mess j

j in a month, or less j

j I must die without a wedding j

j let the bitter tears I'm shedding j

j witness my distress j

j here's a pretty mess j

j here's a state of things j

j to her life she clings j

j matrimonial devotion doesn't seem to suit her notion &

j burial it brings j

j here's a state of things j

j with a passion that's intense j

j you worship and adore j

j but the laws of common sense j

j you oughtn't to ignore j

j if what I say is true j

j 'tis death to marry you j

j here's a pretty state of things j

j here's a pretty how-de-do j

j here's a pretty state of things j

j a pretty state of things j

bravo, sir.

J but if what he says is true j

j I cannot, cannot marry you j'

j here's a pretty, pretty state of things j

j here's a pretty how-de-do j

bravo, sir!

Well done.

J rise up j

j rise up and look from where thou art j&

j and scatter with unselfish hands j

j thy freshness on the barren sands j

j and solitudes of death j

j for he's going to marry yum-yum j

jyum-yum j

j your anger pray bury for all will be merry j

j I think you had better succumb j

j and join our expressions of glee j

j on this subject I pray you be dumb j

j you'll find there are many who'll wed for a penny &

j the word for your guidance is mum j'

j there's lots of good fish in the sea j

j on this subject we pray you be dumb j

j we think you had better succumb j

j and join our expressions of glee j

j you'll find there are many who'll wed for a penny &

j there are lots of good fish in the sea j

j there's lots of good fish, fish in the sea &

j the sea, the sea, the sea, the sea, the sea j

j the deed divine j

j shall through the ages j

j burn and shine j

J burn and shine j

j burn and shine j

j burn and shine j

j burn and shine j

Arthur Sullivan, doctor of music,

first principal of the national school of music,

for services to music.

Doctor Sullivan, your majesty.

Good morning, doctor Sullivan.

I'm very pleased your name has been submitted

by the prime minister for recognition of your music,

which we all so greatly admire.

Your majesty is most gracious.

Sir Arthur.

May I say, sir Arthur, how greatly I admired your cantata

the golden legend.

I frequently play passages from it on the pianoforte.

I'm deeply honoured, madam.

Why don't you write a grand opera?

A grand opera, madam?

You'd do it so well

yes, madam.

J take heart, fair days will shine &

j take any heart, take mine j

j take heart, fair days will shine &

j take any heart, take mine j

j take heart, no danger lowers j

j take any heart, but ours j

j take heart, fair days will shine &

j take any heart, take mine j

J poor wandering one j

j thou hast surely strayed j

j take heart of grace j

j your steps retrace j

j poor wandering ones j

j take mine j

J take mine j

J take heart no danger lowers j

j take any heart but ours j

J take mine j

Ladies and gentlemen, to the new opera.

To ruddigore, may it be the best yet.

Ruddigore, what a score.

What a title.

Gilbert, what would you say

to our doing a grand opera together?

A grand opera?

Yes, why not?

I though Gilbert might like to write the book.

My dear fellow, I'm tremendously flattered,

but whoever heard the words in grand opera?

Always the triumph of sound over sense.

If I don't hear my words,

you know how it upsets my digestion.

I only raised the point

because I thought I'd like to write

in a new field for a change.

Quite so, I understood perfectly.

A field where the music doesn't have to take second place.

Second place?

Second place to the words.

Oh, you are joking.

Oh, I believe he's serious.

You're not suggesting that's what's happened with me,

are you?

But everyone knows that, Gilbert.

What?

My dear Sullivan, you can't expect me to take you seriously.

Are you really under the impression

that you've been effacing yourself for the last 12 years?

I can assure you that time after time

I've had to reduce my music to a mere rumpti-tum

so that every syllable of yours could be heard

at the back of the gallery.

You're getting a touch of the sun,

you'd better put your hat on.

My dear fellow, anyone can tell you

that I've always had to play second fiddle.

While my words been consistently dulled

by your first fiddle and all your other confounded fiddles.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please think of the company.

I am thinking of the company.

If Sullivan turns to grand opera,

they'll all be out of work.

I'm perfectly willing to go on as we are,

apparently he isn't.

No one has the company more at heart.

Just because I refuse to consider myself

chained to comic opera.

Very few people would object being chained to a gold mine.

A gold mine that may very soon be exhausted.

I don't really see what this has to do with grand opera.

It has this to do with it,

I'm not content to go on with the old way one moment longer.

And I am not content to go in any other way.

If we work together, we must work as master and master,

not as master and servant.

Exactly, so far it has always been Gilbert's comedies

with music tacked on by me.

Tacked on?

I don't know what to say.

How can I reply to such preposterous nonsense?

Don't try, Willie.

Dear, this was such a happy occasion.

I am sorry, Helen, but the truth chooses its own time

to come out and the truth is I lost my liking

for comic opera and I'll have no more to do with it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you Mr. Gilbert and sir Arthur Sullivan.

Gilbert and Sullivan.

It would be nice if you would sat down, dear.

J for they themselves have said it j

j and it's greatly to their credit j&

j that they both are englishmen I

J I once was a very abandoned person j

j making the most of evil chances j

j nobody could conceive a worse 'un j

j even in all the old romances j

j I blush for my wild extravagances j'

j but be so kind j

j to bearin mind j

ji we were the victims of circumstances j

J that is one of our blameless dances j

j I was once an exceedingly odd young lady &

j suffering much from spleen and vapours j

Sullivan is an hour and half late already.

Do you suppose he is coming at all this morning?

Come, come, we both know better than that.

After what what happened yesterday,

there is no telling what he will do.

Gilbert, do try to make allowances.

J it certainly entertained the gapers j

thank you, that was excellent.

I'm terribly sorry

to be so late. He is coming along.

I had a shocking night.

I apologise for keeping the company waiting.

Good morning, Sullivan.

How are you?

I'd like to begin with numbers four and five,

if Mr. Gilbert has no objections.

Mr. Gilbert has no objection

to rehearsing numbers four, five, or any other numbers.

Sir Roderick, Robin, and chorus of ghosts,

position, please.

- Helen. - Yes, I know I heard.

Don't worry, they'll never keep it up,

it will be all right after the first night.

Good morning, sir Arthur

good morning, sellier.

Line after e, gentlemen.

J beware, beware, beware j

j gaunt vision, who art thou j

j that thus, with icy glare j

j and stern relentless brow j

j appearest, who knows how j

j I am the spectre of the late sir roderic murgatroyd j

j who comes to warn thee that thy fate j

j thou canst not now avoid j

Cab!

Boo!

Boo!

Give us back the mikado.

Yeah, give us back the mikado.

Give us back the mikado.

Well whatever the press may say,

the advance booking was excellent.

Well I think we ought to tell that

to Gilbert and Arthur quickly.

Yes, of course.

Are you there?

Mr. carte would like to speak to Mr. Gilbert, please.

What?

Oh has he?

Thank you.

Apparently Mr. Gilbert is not answering the telephone

this morning to anyone.

Please telephone to Arthur Sullivan immediately.

Well Mr. carte, this is Louis speaking.

Sir Arthur left this morning.

What, where to?

He took the first train for the continent.

Sullivan has gone abroad.

What's his address?

I'm afraid he didn't leave one, sir

all he said that he was going to devote himself

to work of a more earnest character.

Helen, what are you doing here?

D'oyly thought a little flutter would be good for me.

To my belief it was quite right.

I seem to have done rather well out of you, Arthur.

How did you know I was in monte Carlo?

Well if it isn't tactless to quote ruddigore,

paragraphs got into all the papers.

Did they?

I didn't see them. Of course not,

you were applying yourself

to work of a more earnest character.

Really, Helen.

Ruddigore is still running,

although no one knows for how long.

Helen, dear, I'm delighted to see you, of course,

but if you've come all this way with any idea

of trying to make me change my mind.

Have a little stimulant, Arthur.

A little one.

You're going to need every drop of it.

Helen, surely you can understand, time is slipping by.

Already I've spent too much of it on trifles.

From now on, I'm determined to devote myself

entirely to serious music.

Believe me, Arthur, we do understand.

You've jumped to the quite wrong conclusions.

It is simply that d'oyly has sent me here

to give you a small message.

On?

He has decided to build another theatre.

Another theatre, what for?

He is going to call it the royal english opera house.

And I'm here, Arthur to invite you to compose

the first grand opera to open the theatre.

Are you serious?

Completely serious.

D'oyly is very ambitious too, you know.

Helen.

Helen, how can I ever thank you?

Then you accept?

I must leave at once.

Well there's time for coffee,

the theatre hasn't been designed yet.

What?

Oh yes, thank you, black.

So much to do, I must see d'oyly about a subject.

Have you ever read Scott's ivanhoe?

A magnificent story for a grand opera,

if only one could find the right man to adapt the book.

By the way, Mr. Gilbert is sending his kindest regards.

Gilbert?

You know he'd never touch grand opera.

Of course not, I'm merely indicating he is willing

to let bygones be bygones.

And in any event he is too busy with his new libretto

for the savoy.

I wonder if the young pinero.

What new libretto?

It's another comic opera.

I think it's the best thing he's done.

It's a charming romance set in the tower of London.

I think you'll like it.

I'll what?

There's plenty of time to do both, isn't there?

- Helen. - Sugar, Arthur?

Helen.

You aren't by any chance trying to bribe me

with a grand opera?

I said, sugar?

On the desk.

Helen.

Thank you, thank you.

What do you think of this?

The royal english opera house

as it will look in 12 months' time.

D'oyly, it's magnificent.

Gilbert says it will never pay,

calls it carte's folly.

Yes, but he admits that he and Arthur

have never worked together so happily.

Thanks to our peacemaker.

Now kitty, my dear, are you listening?

Yes, Willie.

Very well, then.

The gondoliers, act one scene one.

The curtain rises.

The scene is venice.

Once upon a time,

there were two gondoliers.

Their names were Marco and giuseppe.

Giuseppe is the stout one.

J we're called gondolieri j

j but that's a vagary j

j it's quite honorary j

j the trade that we ply j

j in enterprise of martial kind j

j when there was any fighting j

j he led his regiment from behind j

j he found it less exciting j

j but when away his regiment ran j

j his place was at the fore j

j that celebrated, cultivated, underrated nobleman j

j the Duke of Plaza-toro j

j in the first and foremost flight, ha, ha j

j you always found that knight, ha, ha j

j that celebrated, cultivated, underrated nobleman j

j the Duke of Plaza-toro j

at last we have arrived at our destination.

This is the ducal palace and it is here

that the grand inquisitor resides.

J of that there is no manner of doubt j

j no probable, possible shadow of doubt j

j no possible doubt whatever j

until it is ascertained which of you two gondoliers

is to be king,

I have arranged that you shall reign jointly.

As one individual?

As one individual.

Like this?

Something like that. Jtralalalalala &

jtralalalalala j

jtralalatralalalala jl

j when vespers are ringing j

j to hope ever clinging j

j with songs of our singing j

j a vigil we keep j

j when daylight is fading j

j enwrapt in night's shading j

j with soft serenading j

j we sing them to sleep j

J dance a cachucha, fandango, bolero j

j xeres we'll drink manzanilla, montero j

j wine, when it runs in abundance, enhances j

j the reckless delight of that wildest of dances j

j to the pretty pitter-pitter-patter j

j and the clitter, clitter, clitter, clatter j ♪

J clitter, clitter, clatter j

j pitter, pitter, patter j

j oh the pitter, pitter, pitter, patter j

j and the clitter, clitter, clitter, clatter j ♪

J patter, patter, patter, patter, we'll dance j

j old xeres we'll drink manzanilla, montero &

j for wine, when it runs in abundance j

j enhances the reckless delight of that wildest of dances j

j the reckless delight j

j dance a cachucha, fandango, bolero j

j xeres we'll drink, manzanilla, montero j

j wine, when it runs in abundance, enhances j

j the reckless delight of that wildest of dances j

Good afternoon, Mr. Gilbert.

Good afternoon, James.

- Good afternoon, madam. - Good afternoon.

It good to see you again.

I hope you had a nice holiday in India.

Wonderful, half killed me.

An accident, sir?

Gout.

Oh, dear sir, I am sorry.

This hasn't seen the inside of a boot

for the last three months.

Tell Mr. shanks I'd like to have a word with him, will you?

He's down at shaftesbury Avenue at the moment, sir.

Didn't he know we were coming home today?

It's all been repainted.

So it has, got a new carpet too.

- That's right, sir. - Great improvement.

I'll go straight up to Mr. carte's office.

Yes, sir.

Must have cost carte a pretty penny.

Don't rush after him, William.

All right, don't fuss.

I'm still in what is lugubriously referred to

as the prime of life.

Oh, carte is not here.

I expect he's back stage then.

I sent him a telegram.

If there's one thing carte respects, it's a telegram.

He's sure to be here in a minute.

I think we'd both feel the benefit if you sat down.

Nobody there either.

Come in.

The place is inhabited after all.

Perhaps I was rather overstating it.

Yes, sir?

Tell Mr. carte that Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert have arrived.

He's not in, sir.

Where is he?

Shaftesbury Avenue.

What is this devouring passion for shaftesbury Avenue?

He is at the new opera house, sir.

The new opera house, I see.

Tell Mrs. carte then.

She's out too, sir.

Where is she?

- Shafts... - Thank you boy, that'll do.

The new mecca apparently.

Never mind, you can meet him tomorrow.

I particularly want to see him today.

Here I am after months abroad teeming with new ideas.

Can you hear me?

This is Mr. Gilbert.

He is?

Oh, capital.

Will you? Thank you.

Savoy theatre quarterly accounts.

Copy for Mr. Gilbert.

Don't you think you ought to put your foot up, dear?

I feel more like putting it down at the moment, dear.

Quite bad enough not being met at the station.

How on earth?

Good heavens, carte has deducted 4,500 pounds

of our profits for so-called expenses.

He's actually charging us 500 pounds

for that new carpet.

Hello, yes I certainly do.

Will you connect him, please?

Hello, Sullivan, how are you?

Have you seen.

Where is he gone?

The new opera house,

there you have the answer in a nutshell.

Kitty, you take the carriage home.

I have business to attend to.

Do wait till you've calmed down, dear.

Where are you going now?

I'm joining the gadarene procession

to shaftesbury Avenue.

Where is Mr. d'oyly carte?

Up there, sir.

- Take me up. - What?

Don't argue, man, take me up.

All right, Charlie.

Magnificent.

The figures of the classical muses should, I feel,

be picked out in gold.

Why if it isn't it Gilbert.

How are you, Gilbert? Hello, Gilbert.

Back I see.

What do you think of all this, eh?

I must apologise for intruding

on your private Valhalla, gentlemen.

I realise I am only a figure from the popular theatre.

What's the matter Gilbert?

I have just left the savoy,

you may recollect that there is such a place,

to find it deserted by the management

and other evidence of gross neglect.

What do you mean, gross neglect?

Exactly what I say.

Have you have seen these accounts?

No, of course you haven't.

I always have to attend to them.

Can't you get this thing down?

4500 pounds deducted from our profits.

Do you hear that, Sullivan?

I'm not interested.

250 for a gondola.

150 for ironmongery.

[Ronmongery.

And to cap it all, 500 pounds for that carpet,

the carpet for the front of the house.

While carte has been building his white elephant,

you and I have been refurbishing the savoy for him unawares.

You call this a white elephant?

Gilbert, I should be sorry to lose the advantage

of the production of your future operas,

but the earth does not contain the money

that will pay me to put up with this sort of thing.

Very well, then.

I write no more for the savoy.

Wait for me, Barlow.

Sir Arthur Sullivan.

Beg pardon sir, I'm from the chronicle.

I was afraid you might be.

- About these rumours, sir. - What?

That your long partnership with Mr. Gilbert

is likely to come to an end.

I can't say anything now, excuse me.

I'm merely insisting, madam,

that he has no right to charge any part of that carpet

to Sullivan or myself.

And I insist that it comes under the simple heading

of fair wear and tear, clause 7 of our agreement.

Mumbo jumbo.

I don't know quite what you are suggesting.

D'oyly, Gilbert, listen to me.

- Sullivan, please. - No, let me speak.

For over 15 years our three names

have been linked in Harmony, wherever our operas are played.

You've often said that Gilbert and Sullivan

are as much a national institution as westminster Abbey.

And here we are bickering over the price of a carpet.

Gentlemen, please remember you are quarrelling

in the very theatre built out of your success.

Listen, why don't you take a leaf out of your own book,

the gondoliers, act two.

J in a contemplative fashion j

j and a tranquil frame of mind j

j free from every kind of passion j

j some solution let us find j

free from every kind of passion, some solution we must find.

Your words, Mr. Gilbert.

Your music, sir Arthur.

Thank you, Helen.

I'm sure we can forget what been said

and talk over our difficulties calmly like reasonable men.

I'm more than willing.

All right.

Carte, you be reasonable first.

Well, I'm sure if Gilbert looks at it calmly,

he is bound to see that my attitude is reasonable.

In other words, no advance on fair wear and tear.

Don't you think we could forget the carpet,

if only for a moment?

Nothing would delight me more, madam,

to shake the dust of clause seven from our feet.

Besides, we all know the carpet is only a symptom

of the disease which has been rotting the fabric

of this partnership since 1883.

If we must quarrel,

at least can't we quarrel in the present tense.

I can well understand your reluctance

to embark on the past imperfect.

- I am only reluctant. - I have had to humour you

like a baby for years.

So it has come to this, then?

It has.

After 15 years wonderful association, over a mere carpet.

No, madam, people may say so but Sullivan knows and I know

that it goes deeper than that.

I said it before and I 'll say it again,

a cobbler should stick to his last.

There's nothing more to be said.

I'm physically and mentally ill

over this whole wretched business.

Very well.

Good day, madam, good day carte.

I think you may find it was a mistake

to kick down the ladder by which you've risen.

Dedicated by special permission

to her most gracious majesty the queen,

at whose suggestion this work was written,

in grateful acknowledgement of her majesty's

kindly encouragement by her humble and devoted

subject and servant, Arthur Sullivan.

Thank you indeed, sir Arthur.

I shall treasure this always.

Such a very beautiful volume.

So this work was written at my suggestion?

Indeed yes, ma'am.

Your majesty may perhaps recall.

Yes, yes I believe I do.

How very gratifying.

I've been thinking

it's time we had a performance at windsor.

A stage can very easily be erected in the Waterloo gallery

and the company could be brought down from London.

It shall be arranged shortly.

Since the prince of wales told me all about it,

I have always wanted to see the gondoliers.

The gondoliers, ma'am?

Yes, of course I know all the tunes very well already,

but.

What is it, sir Arthur?

Would it not be practical?

Certainly, ma'am, of course.

It's just that I'm overwhelmed.

J on, 'tis a glorious thing, I ween j

j to be a regular royal queen j

j no half-and-half affair, I mean j

j no half-and-half affair &

j but a right-down regular, regular, regular j

j regular royal queen j

j and noble lords will scrape and bow j

j and double themselves in two j

j and open their eyes in blank surprise j

j at whatever she likes to do j

j and everybody will roundly vow j

j she's fair as flowers in may j

j and say how clever at whatsoever j

j she condescends to say j

j on, 'tis a glorious thing, I ween j

j to be a regular royal queen j

j no half-and-half affair, I mean j

j no half-and-half affair &

j but a right-down regular, regular, regular j

j regular royal queen j

j on, 'tis a glorious thing, I ween j

j to be a regular royal queen j

j a right-down regular royal queen j

The cobbler

should stick

to his last.

Happy new year, my dear.

Happy new year, Helen.

You know, it's not everyone who has the privilege

of watching the old year and the old century

go out hand in hand.

The old century, Victoria's century.

Sad to see it go.

So many things have gone with it.

I know what you're thinking.

Oh, you always do.

Sullivan and Gilbert?

Gilbert and Sullivan.

They may come back after all.

No, they're not even on speaking terms.

Besides it'd never quite be the same.

This is a night for looking forward, not back.

You're right.

Come to think of it, you always are right.

The new century.

To the new century.

J oh, the happy days of doing j

j on, the sighing and the suing j

j when a wooer goes a-wooing j

j oh, the sweets that never cloy j

j when a brother leaves his sister j

j for another, sister weeps j

j tears that trickle, tears that blister j

j "tis but mickle sister reaps j

j tears that trickle j

j tears that blister j

j on, the doing and undoing j

j on, the sighing and the suing j

j when a brother goes a-wooing j

j and a sobbing sister weeps j

j when a Jester is outwitted j

j feelings fester, heart is lead j

j food for fishes only fitted j

j Jester wishes he was dead j

j food for fishes only fitted j

j Jester wishes he was dead j

j on, the doing and undoing j

j on, the sighing and the suing j

j when a Jester goes a-wooing j

j and he wishes he was dead j

j on, the doing and undoing j

j on, the sighing and the suing j

j when a Jester goes a-wooing j

j and he wishes he was dead j

j he wishes he was dead j

And I helped that man to escape.

And I've kept his secret and pretended

that I was his dearly loving sister

and did everything I could do.

No, no.

That wasn't how I taught it to you years ago.

Mr. Gilbert!

Now, once again, please,

and I helped that man to escape.

And I helped that man to escape,

and I've kept his secret.

And I've kept his secret.

And pretended that I was his dearly loving sister.

That was much better, my dear.

Punctuate, punctuate.

Mr. Gilbert, it's wonderful to see you again

after all this long time.

- Very nice to see you. - Very nice to see you.

I thought the quartet was quite beautifully rendered,

but you must remember your consonants,

your ms and your ns and your ts.

Mr. Gilbert.

How are you? - Good afternoon,

Mrs. carte.

I came up to London to lunch at the garrick.

As I happened to be passing, I thought I'd look in.

We're all very glad that you did.

Mr. cross, I think we might all have tea now.

How's d'oyly?

He is a little better, he got up the first time yesterday.

Good.

Been a long time.

Yes.

I think the yeoman was favourite, you know.

Best thing Sullivan and I ever wrote.

I hear he's been ill too.

- Very ill, indeed. - Is he back in england?

Yes.

He got back last week.

Good, good.

Poor fellow.

He suffered a great deal.

You know it's over two years

since he and I spoke to each other.

That's nothing less than a tragedy, Mr. Gilbert.

Things were never the same after our quarrel.

Nothing seemed to go right for us, you know.

Is Sullivan coming to the first night of our revival?

He might if you were to ask him.

I?

I think it would mean a great deal to him.

Can't you send him a message?

I really don't think that's necessary.

My dear Gilbert.

My dear Sullivan.

I was lunching at the club and happened to be passing.

So I heard.

Oh, did you?

I'm sorry to see you like this.

Yes, he gave me up for lost in the south of France.

Prince of wales sent his own doctor,

but I am a good deal better now as you can see.

Yes, yes, quite yes, obviously.

Gilbert, what would you say to burying the hatchet

once and for all and smoking the pipe of peace?

There's nothing I should like more, just a minute.

How's the gout?

That's taken a back seat,

arthritis has now moved up in the first place.

Same old Gilbert.

Couldn't we make this a public reconciliation?

- What do you mean? - Take our calls together

on the first night like we used to do, all three of us?

Including carte?

Why not?

The old firm, or should I say the infirm.

This thing would present a certain problem.

Not at all, Louis can wheel you on.

What a trio of old crocks we've become.

What we really need is three wheel chairs.

So we, that's a brilliant idea.

- What? - We all take our calls

in wheelchairs.

Gilbert, you're quite right,

three wheelchairs it'll look wonderful from the front.

It'll bring the house down.

Helen, put down two wheelchairs for the opening night.

The third one will do for d'oyly.

Yes, I heard you, I think it is a charming idea.

You can wheel d'oyly on, Helen.

Arthur, I don't want to hurry you,

but I think it's time Louis was taking you home.

What, already?

Now you know he has very strict instructions.

Isn't that so, Louis? I have, madam, very strict.

Oh well, I suppose orders is orders.

I'm looking forward to giving some of my own again soon.

Au revoir, Gilbert. See you on Tuesday night.

Rather, I wouldn't miss the opening for the world.

Mr. Gilbert, what do you think of his appearance?

His appearance, Mrs. Carte, is of no consequence.

What we couldn't stand would be his disappearance.

J joy has broken duly &

j with happiness my soul is cloyed j

j with happiness is alloyed j

j with happiness her soul is cloyed j

j this is my joy-day unalloyed j

j unalloyed &

jitismy joy d

j day j

j unalloyed &

j yes yes with happiness her soul is cloyed j

j this is her joy day unalloyed j

I got this to a tee now.

Is Sullivan here?

We thought it wise for him not to come before the finale.

Well now let's see,

I should make my entrance from the prompt side.

Sullivan from the op like we always used to do

when we had the full use of our legs.

Carte, I want you to go in centre through the players.

I don't wish to argue with the producer,

but shan't I look rather prominent?

My dear fellow, that's the whole idea.

After all, you started this thing.

Well now I think we ought to try it.

- Where? - Well here.

Get in, my dear fellow.

Harry, will you wheel sir Arthur's chair in from over there

when I give the signal?

Mrs. carte, you wheel d'oyly in from over there.

Right, positions, please.

J all thought of Leonard meryll set aside &

j thou art mine own, I claim thee as my bride j

j thou art his own j ready everybody?

Right, off we go.

Thank you, Harry.

Problem is what we're going to do for an encore.

Ah, Sullivan's here.

No, sir.

What is it, Louis?

We sent for the doctors at six, madam.

He asked me to give this to Mr. Gilbert.

He insisted.

My dear Gilbert, I feel the disappointment so very much.

Good luck to you all.

Three wheelchairs would have looked wonderful

from the front.

How is he, Louis?

J and shed a tear or two j

j for I have a song to sing, o j

j sing me your song, o j

j it is sung to the moon j

j by a love-lorn loon &

j who fled from the mocking throng, o I

j it's the song of a merryman, moping mum j

j whose soul was sad, and whose glance was glum &

j who sipped no sup, and who craved no crumb

j as he sighed for the love of a lady j

j heighdy heighdy j

j misery me, lackadaydee j

j he sipped no sup and he craved no crumb &

j as he sighed for the love of a lady j

j I have a song to sing, o j

j what is your song, o j

j it is sung with the ring j

j of the songs maids sing j

j who love with a love lifelong, o &

j it's the song of a merrymaid, nestling near j

j who loved her lord, but who dropped a tear j

goodnight, Mr. Gilbert.

J whose soul was sad, and whose glance was glum &

j who sipped no sup, and who craved no crumb

j as he sighed for the love of a lady j

j heighdy, heighdy j

j misery me, lackadaydee j

j he sipped no sup, and he craved no crumb &

j as he sighed for the love of a lady j

j heighdy, heighdy j

j misery me, lackadaydee j

j he sipped no sup, and he craved no crumb &

j as he sighed for the love of a lady j

j heighdy j

j heighdy j

J a wandering minstrel, I &

j a thing of shreds and patches j

j of ballads, songs and snatches j

j and dreamy lullaby j

j my catalogue is long &

j through every passion ranging j

j and to your humours changing j

j I tune my supple &

j song j

Are you sure you have everything?

No, no.

Mr. William Gilbert, barrister at law,

justice of the peace,

deputy lieutenant of the county of middlesex, playwright.

For services to the theatre.

J for he is an englishman &

j and he himself has said it j

j and it's greatly to his credit j

j that he is an englishman &