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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,711 --> 00:00:03,881 ♪♪♪ 2 00:00:03,884 --> 00:00:05,934 (Eugene) MY FELLOW KNIGHTS, 3 00:00:05,926 --> 00:00:07,296 AS YOU KNOW, 4 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:09,758 "OPERATION: MICK JAGGER" WAS FATALLY COMPROMISED 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:13,050 BY OUR ARCHNEMESIS, THE COLOMBIAN DRUG LORD ENRICO. 6 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,314 THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY NEED A NEW TARGET TO ROB. 7 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,306 SO I'VE ASKED EACH ONE OF YOU 8 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:20,638 TO MAKE A PRESENTATION ON THE TARGET OF YOUR CHOICE. 9 00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:22,771 LET'S GET STARTED, SHALL WE? 10 00:00:24,195 --> 00:00:28,025 TWO WORDS--STEVIE WONDER. 11 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,858 DUDE, HE'S BLIND. THAT'S THE POINT. 12 00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:33,111 SWAYZE. WHY-- 13 00:00:33,114 --> 00:00:35,004 ACTOR? YES! 14 00:00:34,995 --> 00:00:37,115 ZILLIONAIRE? EVIDENTLY. 15 00:00:38,869 --> 00:00:40,419 WILLIAM H. MACY. 16 00:00:40,421 --> 00:00:44,431 I PICK HIS POCKET. HE HAS $38 IN CASH 17 00:00:44,425 --> 00:00:47,665 AND A TICKET STUB FOR "TONY N' TINA'S WEDDING." 18 00:00:47,668 --> 00:00:49,468 THAT'S GOOD. IMPRESSIVE. 19 00:00:52,133 --> 00:00:54,013 (hip-hop beat playing) 20 00:00:54,014 --> 00:00:56,984 ♪ ROBBIN' LENNY KRAVITZ ON A TUESDAY NIGHT ♪ 21 00:00:56,977 --> 00:00:59,727 ♪ SNEAK INTO HIS BUILDING AND STAY OUT OF SIGHT ♪ 22 00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:02,100 ♪ CREEP INTO HIS CRIB, QUIET AS A MOUSE ♪ 23 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:05,193 ♪ SHOVE A GLOCK IN HIS MOUTH WHILE HE WATCHIN' "HOUSE" ♪ 24 00:01:05,186 --> 00:01:07,736 ♪ TIE HIS ASS UP AND MAKE HIM SHAKE WITH FRIGHT ♪ 25 00:01:07,738 --> 00:01:10,568 ♪ BITCH TRY TO RUN, BUT HIS PANTS TOO TIGHT ♪ 26 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,741 ♪ I'M GONNA KILL YOU, LENNY KRAVITZ ♪ 27 00:01:17,037 --> 00:01:19,037 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THAT WAS... 28 00:01:19,039 --> 00:01:20,999 THAT WAS THOUGHT-PROVOKING. 29 00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:23,331 BUT WHAT I SUGGEST IS THAT WE SLEEP ON IT 30 00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:26,134 AND RECONVENE TOMORROW. OKAY. 31 00:01:27,798 --> 00:01:29,798 YOU WANNA GO GET SOME PIZZA? 32 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,590 NO, THANKS. I'M GOOD. 33 00:01:33,214 --> 00:01:35,774 ♪♪♪ 34 00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:40,056 SO WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE? OH, I DON'T KNOW. I TOLD YOU HOW MARK AND I 35 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:42,770 HAVE BEEN TRYING TO RENOVATE OUR APARTMENT. 36 00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:44,993 MANY, MANY TIMES, KELLY, YEAH. (laughter) 37 00:01:44,985 --> 00:01:46,815 WELL, HERE'S THE LATEST CATASTROPHE, OKAY? 38 00:01:46,817 --> 00:01:49,317 OUR ARCHITECT JUST QUIT ON US. 39 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,400 WE WERE WORKING WITH THESE GUYS FOR, LIKE, THREE MONTHS, 40 00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:55,043 AND HE JUST UP AND MOVES TO CZECHOSLOVAKIA. 41 00:01:55,035 --> 00:01:57,405 I'M NOT KIDDING. I'M NOT SURE THAT COUNTRY STILL EXISTS. 42 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,998 CZECHOSLOVAKIA. 43 00:01:58,999 --> 00:02:01,119 WELL, ANYWAY, THE POINT IS, HE'S GONE. 44 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,041 HE'S TOTALLY LEFT US IN THE LURCH. 45 00:02:03,043 --> 00:02:05,093 SO IF ANYBODY OUT THERE KNOWS A GOOD ARCHITECT... 46 00:02:05,085 --> 00:02:07,505 YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO BE A GOOD ARCHITECT-- 47 00:02:07,508 --> 00:02:11,048 IF YOU ARE GOOD WITH LEGOS, I AM BEGGING YOU, CALL ME! 48 00:02:11,051 --> 00:02:14,221 LET'S ROB KELLY RIPA. 49 00:02:14,215 --> 00:02:17,885 REGIS' WIFE? NAH, NAH. SHE WITH MATEO FROM "ALL MY CHILDREN." 50 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,218 WHY KELLY RIPA? QUESTION-- WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE 51 00:02:20,221 --> 00:02:22,101 WE MADE WHEN WE TRIED TO ROB MICK JAGGER? 52 00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:24,022 TRYING TO ROB MICK JAGGER. 53 00:02:24,024 --> 00:02:27,034 NO. WE DIDN'T CASE OUT HIS JOINT FROM THE INSIDE. 54 00:02:27,027 --> 00:02:30,027 THAT'S WHY WE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE CAMERAS AND THE KEYPAD. THUMBPRINT SENSOR. 55 00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:31,820 THE GUARDS. THE PANIC ROOM. 56 00:02:31,822 --> 00:02:34,072 THE THUMBPRINT SENSOR. 57 00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:35,454 RIGHT. HOWEVER, 58 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,446 THERE'LL BE NONE OF THESE SURPRISES WITH KELLY RIPA 59 00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:41,038 FOR ONE SIMPLE REASON-- SHE NEEDS AN ARCHITECT. 60 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:44,041 SO? SO WE JUST HAVE TO PRETEND WE WANNA BID ON THE JOB. 61 00:02:44,044 --> 00:02:47,054 AH. SHE INVITE US FOR INTERVIEW, WE GO IN, LOOK AROUND, 62 00:02:47,047 --> 00:02:50,047 TAKE ALL THE PICTURES WE WANT RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. 63 00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:52,380 ONE PROBLEM-- WE AIN'T ARCHITECTS. 64 00:02:52,383 --> 00:02:56,473 AND HOW DO WE GET THE INTERVIEW? WELL, WHEN MY DAD WAS BUILDING OUR HOUSE IN PALM BEACH, 65 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,467 ONE OF THE ARCHITECTS WHO WANTED THE JOB 66 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:00,099 SENT OVER THIS AMAZING PROMOTIONAL DVD. 67 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,390 I MEAN, EVERYBODY WAS REALLY IMPRESSED. 68 00:03:01,392 --> 00:03:03,392 EXCUSE ME. WHO NEEDS KELLY RIPA? 69 00:03:03,394 --> 00:03:05,024 LET'S ROB LOUIS PLUNK. 70 00:03:05,015 --> 00:03:07,975 WAIT A MINUTE, LOUIS. HOW WE GONNA MAKE A DVD? 71 00:03:07,978 --> 00:03:11,148 DOESN'T THAT TAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF EQUIPMENT? ACTUALLY, MR. GURKIN, I-I CAN DO IT 72 00:03:11,151 --> 00:03:15,031 WITH MY CAMCORDER AND MY LAPTOP. SERIOUSLY? AND IT'LL BE, LIKE, IN COLOR AND EVERYTHING? 73 00:03:15,025 --> 00:03:18,275 YEAH. WELL, THEN, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR, MAESTRO? 74 00:03:18,279 --> 00:03:19,909 LET'S DO IT! ALL RIGHT! 75 00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:22,580 YEAH. (laughter) 76 00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:24,463 (beeping) 77 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:27,415 (Styx's "Mr. Roboto" playing) 78 00:03:27,418 --> 00:03:29,038 (European accent) ARCHITECTURE. 79 00:03:29,039 --> 00:03:30,419 DESIGN. 80 00:03:30,421 --> 00:03:32,041 CONCEPTS. 81 00:03:32,042 --> 00:03:33,042 BUILDINGS. 82 00:03:33,043 --> 00:03:34,433 CONCEPTS FOR BUILDINGS. 83 00:03:34,425 --> 00:03:36,425 BUILDINGS FOR YOU TO LIVE IN... 84 00:03:36,427 --> 00:03:38,047 WITH YOUR FAMILY... 85 00:03:38,048 --> 00:03:39,968 OR IF YOU ARE SINGLE... 86 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,340 ALONE. 87 00:03:41,342 --> 00:03:43,182 OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 88 00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:45,233 (all) AND ASSOCIATES. 89 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,305 ♪ DOMO ARIGATO, MR. ROBOTO ♪ 90 00:03:48,309 --> 00:03:51,899 ♪ MATA AU HIMA DE ♪ 91 00:03:51,902 --> 00:03:54,662 ♪ DOMO ARIGATO, MR. ROBOTO... ♪ 92 00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:56,155 I GOTTA MEET THIS GUY. 93 00:03:56,156 --> 00:03:58,236 WHAT'S HIS NAME? 94 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,068 OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 95 00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:01,990 (Esperanza) OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 96 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,412 (Rockefeller) OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 97 00:04:03,414 --> 00:04:06,254 (voices overlapping) OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 98 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,416 ♪ MACHINE OR MANNEQUIN ♪ 99 00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:10,829 I BELIEVE IT'S OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 100 00:04:10,831 --> 00:04:14,301 ♪ I AM THE MOLDREN MAN ♪ 101 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:24,051 THANKS TO LOUIS PLUNK 102 00:04:24,054 --> 00:04:26,234 AND HIS FANTASTIC DVD, WE GOT OURSELVES A MEETING 103 00:04:26,226 --> 00:04:28,226 WITH KELLY RIPA! YEAH! GREAT JOB! THANK YOU. 104 00:04:28,228 --> 00:04:31,228 GREAT JOB. NOW THIS IS THE WAY IT'S GONNA GO DOWN, ALL RIGHT? 105 00:04:31,231 --> 00:04:32,771 ME AND ESPERANZA ARE GONNA SIT 106 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,153 WITH MISS RIPA AND DISCUSS ARCHITECTURE 107 00:04:34,154 --> 00:04:36,284 WHILE THE REST OF YOU FAN OUT AROUND THE APARTMENT, 108 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,156 CASE THE JOINT AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, TAKE PICTURES. NOW YOU BETTER PULL THIS OFF, CHIEF, 109 00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:42,159 'CAUSE THE SECOND SHE FINDS OUT YOU'RE NOT AN ARCHITECT, 110 00:04:42,162 --> 00:04:45,212 SHE'LL CALL THE COPS. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. I'VE BEEN STUDYING ALL MORNING. 111 00:04:45,205 --> 00:04:47,205 GO AHEAD. QUIZ ME ON THE THREE DIFFERENT TYPES 112 00:04:47,207 --> 00:04:49,037 OF GREEK COLUMNS. 113 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,209 DORIC. DORIC. IONIC. 114 00:04:51,211 --> 00:04:53,001 DORIC. IONIC. 115 00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:55,013 IONIC. IONIC. IONIC. 116 00:04:55,005 --> 00:04:58,175 DORIC. DORIC. IONIC. IONIC. 117 00:04:58,178 --> 00:05:00,468 IONIC. IONIC... 118 00:05:00,471 --> 00:05:02,631 CORINTHIAN. (Squatch laughs) WE'RE READY. 119 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:03,923 (all laughing) 120 00:05:03,924 --> 00:05:06,064 OKAY. THANK YOU. 121 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,928 (European accent) HELLO. 122 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:12,730 OSWALD MONTECRISTO AND ASSOCIATES. 123 00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:16,323 I'M LOUISE, KELLY'S ASSISTANT, AND THIS IS ATTICUS. 124 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,236 WHAT IS IT? IS IT A JACKAL? 125 00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:21,278 NO, HE'S JUST A DOBERMAN. HE'S A TRAINED GUARD DOG, 126 00:05:21,281 --> 00:05:25,291 BUT HE'S TERRIFIC WITH THE KIDS. OH. HELLO, SPARTACUS. HOW ARE YOU DOING? 127 00:05:25,285 --> 00:05:26,825 (barking) 128 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:30,577 OH. I GUESS HE DOESN'T LIKE PRIZEWINNING ARCHITECTS. 129 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:34,161 (all laughing) 130 00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:38,046 FOLLOW ME. 131 00:05:38,048 --> 00:05:39,418 ENJOY YOUR MEETING. 132 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,220 THANK YOU. 133 00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:43,221 (normal voice) WOW. THIS PLACE IS BEAUTIFUL. 134 00:05:43,223 --> 00:05:45,233 WOW. LOOK AT THAT FANCY CANDLESTICK. 135 00:05:45,225 --> 00:05:48,225 CAN I STEAL IT NOW, PLEASE? WE'RE NOT STEALING ANYTHING. WE'RE JUST CASING THE JOINT. 136 00:05:48,228 --> 00:05:51,308 WE NEVER STEAL ANYTHING. JUST CALM DOWN. SHE'S RIGHT OVER... 137 00:05:51,311 --> 00:05:54,101 WHOA. 138 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,614 (Kenny G's "Songbird" playing) 139 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:02,319 OSWALD MONTECRISTO! 140 00:06:02,322 --> 00:06:05,372 I'M KELLY. IT REALLY IS SUCH A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 141 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,695 I, UM, UH... 142 00:06:08,699 --> 00:06:11,539 UM... (laughs nervously) UH, YES, UM... 143 00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:14,592 I ALSO AM A ARCHITECT. 144 00:06:14,585 --> 00:06:15,795 YEAH. 145 00:06:15,796 --> 00:06:18,416 OSWALD, YOUR VIDEO WAS HILARIOUS. 146 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,419 I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT YOU HAVE 147 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:23,171 SUCH A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT YOURSELF. WHAT? 148 00:06:23,173 --> 00:06:27,063 (European accent) OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU, RIPA. 149 00:06:27,057 --> 00:06:28,807 MISS RIPA. THANK YOU. 150 00:06:28,809 --> 00:06:32,309 OH, PLEASE. CALL ME KELLY. (laughs) 151 00:06:32,312 --> 00:06:33,772 (whispers) KELLY. 152 00:06:33,774 --> 00:06:35,864 YOU KNOW, MOST PEOPLE IN YOUR INDUSTRY 153 00:06:35,856 --> 00:06:37,856 TAKE THEMSELVES WAY TOO SERIOUSLY, 154 00:06:37,858 --> 00:06:39,858 BUT YOU LET YOUR WORK SPEAK FOR ITSELF. 155 00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:42,820 I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME OF THOSE BUILDINGS YOU DESIGNED. 156 00:06:42,823 --> 00:06:45,993 THAT NEW CONDO ON SPRING STREET IS BEAUTIFUL. 157 00:06:45,986 --> 00:06:51,576 OH, THANK YOU. YES. I LOVE BUILDING... THINGS. 158 00:06:51,582 --> 00:06:55,542 I LOVE BUILDINGS. 159 00:06:55,536 --> 00:06:59,166 I LOVE BUILDING... BUILDINGS. 160 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,589 (chuckles nervously) FORGIVE OSWALD. 161 00:07:01,592 --> 00:07:05,052 HE'S BRILLIANT, BUT-- BUT HE'S SOCIALLY AWKWARD, 162 00:07:05,045 --> 00:07:07,635 LIKE--LIKE RUSSELL CROWE IN-- IN THE "BEAUTIFUL MIND." 163 00:07:07,638 --> 00:07:10,678 OH, THAT'S OKAY. I LIKE THE SHY ONES. 164 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:14,221 YOU DO? SURE! YOU'RE MORE OF A CHALLENGE. 165 00:07:14,224 --> 00:07:16,194 (laughs) 166 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,939 GUYS, THAT WAS AWESOME. WE KNOW ALL ABOUT THE DOG, 167 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,272 THE ALARM SYSTEM, THE STUFF TO STEAL, HUH? 168 00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:26,034 WE'RE IN BUSINESS. 169 00:07:26,026 --> 00:07:29,156 ♪ EUGENE AND KELLY RIPA, SITTING IN A TREE ♪ 170 00:07:29,159 --> 00:07:32,119 ♪ K-E-E-S-I-N-G ♪ 171 00:07:32,122 --> 00:07:34,122 EXCUSE ME? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN THERE? 172 00:07:34,124 --> 00:07:37,084 YOU WERE ACTING LIKE SOMEBODY HAD SLIPPED YOU A ROOFIE. 173 00:07:37,077 --> 00:07:39,077 OH, PLEASE. OKAY, THAT WAS ALL PART 174 00:07:39,079 --> 00:07:41,039 OF THE OSWALD MONTECRISTO MYSTIQUE. 175 00:07:41,041 --> 00:07:43,791 WHATEVER. WE GOT WHAT WE NEED. 176 00:07:43,794 --> 00:07:45,184 CHIEF, YOU BETTER CALL HER 177 00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:47,175 AND TELL HER WE DON'T WANT THE JOB ANYMORE. 178 00:07:47,177 --> 00:07:49,637 WITH ANY LUCK, SHE'LL FORGET ALL ABOUT OSWALD MONTE-CRISCO. 179 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,850 MONTECRISTO! RIGHT. 180 00:07:51,852 --> 00:07:54,052 ALL RIGHT. I'LL TELL HER. 181 00:07:54,054 --> 00:07:56,864 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THAT DOG? 182 00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:58,857 MY COUSIN MAURICE RAISES DOBERMANS. 183 00:07:58,859 --> 00:08:01,939 I'LL HAVE HIM BRING ONE OVER, AND WE CAN PRACTICE. 184 00:08:01,942 --> 00:08:04,062 PRACTICE WHAT? WHEN WE ROB THE PLACE, 185 00:08:04,064 --> 00:08:07,914 ONE OF US GOTTA CARRY A NICE JUICY STEAK 186 00:08:07,908 --> 00:08:09,528 AND WEAR A DOG-PROOF SUIT. THAT WAY, 187 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:13,070 THE DOG SPEND ALL HIS TIME ATTACKING ONE DUDE. 188 00:08:18,378 --> 00:08:21,788 UH, AND THAT DUDE WILL BE MR. SQUACIERI. 189 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,252 RIGHT, GUYS? 190 00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,263 I MEAN, WON'T IT BE FUN TO SEE 191 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:28,625 CRANKY OLD SQUATCH TUSSLING AROUND WITH THAT DOG? 192 00:08:28,629 --> 00:08:30,009 (laughs) BOY, 193 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,130 THERE IS A YouTube VIDEO JUST WAITING TO HAPPEN. 194 00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:36,233 COMEDY GOLD, BABY! AM I RIGHT? 195 00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:38,636 YEAH, YOU GOT GET 'EM, SQUATCH. 196 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:42,100 WHATEVER. SCREW IT. 197 00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:43,982 (laughs) 198 00:08:43,984 --> 00:08:46,154 KELLY. OSWALD MONTECRISTO HERE. 199 00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:48,856 (Kelly) Oswald! I'm so glad you called. 200 00:08:48,859 --> 00:08:52,319 YES, WELL, THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT I WANTED TO... 201 00:08:52,322 --> 00:08:54,582 Why don't we just have lunch tomorrow? 202 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,575 WHAT? We could do some more brainstorming. 203 00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,958 Hey, have you been to Rocco's new place on Madison? 204 00:09:00,961 --> 00:09:04,121 I CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE. 205 00:09:04,124 --> 00:09:06,884 So what do you say? 206 00:09:06,877 --> 00:09:10,127 (European accent) I WOULD BE HONORED AND DELIGHTED. 207 00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,340 Oh, great. Bonne chance. 208 00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:14,682 Bonne chance à toi. 209 00:09:26,777 --> 00:09:29,897 ALL RIGHT, CHIEF. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 210 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,990 THAT WAS EUGENE. HE'S SICK. HE'S NOT COMING IN. 211 00:09:31,992 --> 00:09:37,622 THIS IS MY COUSIN MAURICE I WAS TELLING YOU ALL ABOUT. UH, WHO WE ATTACKING TODAY? 212 00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,998 I THINK THE JURY IS STILL OUT ON THAT. 213 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,580 YOU'LL BE WANTING TO PUT THIS ON. 214 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:46,012 OOH, BIG. UH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 215 00:09:46,006 --> 00:09:48,376 DO YOU HAVE, UH, JUST SOME SORT OF 216 00:09:48,378 --> 00:09:50,168 ANIMAL TRAINING LICENSE OR CERTIFICATION 217 00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:53,050 THAT I COULD, UH, SEE? 218 00:09:53,053 --> 00:09:54,933 RESPECT. 219 00:09:59,179 --> 00:10:02,809 UH, HELLO, I'M MEETING KELLY RIPA. 220 00:10:02,813 --> 00:10:04,993 HI. YOU MUST BE MR. MONTECRISTO. 221 00:10:04,985 --> 00:10:06,355 (laughs) YES. YES, I AM. 222 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,856 MAY WE TAKE YOUR JACKET, MR. MONTECRISTO? OH. WHY, THANK YOU. 223 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,320 MY PLEASURE, SIR. ENJOY YOUR LUNCH. 224 00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:13,282 THANKS. 225 00:10:13,283 --> 00:10:15,663 IF YOU'LL FOLLOW ME, MR. MONTECRISTO. 226 00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:19,157 ENJOY YOUR LUNCH, SIR. 227 00:10:19,159 --> 00:10:21,039 AH, THANK YOU. 228 00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:22,451 (laughs) HELLO. 229 00:10:22,452 --> 00:10:24,002 HELLO. 230 00:10:24,004 --> 00:10:27,134 PEOPLE HERE ARE REALLY CONCERNED THAT I ENJOY MY LUNCH. 231 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,007 WELL, I SORT OF LET IT SLIP THAT YOU'RE A BIG SHOT, 232 00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:33,010 AND YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES. (laughs) OH, YES. 233 00:10:33,013 --> 00:10:35,183 HELLO, BEAUTIFUL LADY. HEY, ROCCO. 234 00:10:35,175 --> 00:10:39,015 ROCCO DiSPIRITO, FANCY, HOTSHOT RESTAURANT OWNER/CHEF, 235 00:10:39,019 --> 00:10:41,019 MEET OSWALD MONTECRISTO, FANCY, HOTSHOT ARCHITECT. 236 00:10:41,021 --> 00:10:43,641 WHAT A THRILL IT IS TO HAVE YOU HERE. 237 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,653 I WANNA MAKE YOU A SPECIAL DISH. 238 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,815 TELL ME WHAT YOUR FAVORITE FOOD IS IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 239 00:10:53,443 --> 00:10:57,043 APPLE? 240 00:10:57,037 --> 00:11:00,697 I LOVE IT. A SIMPLE, STRAIGHTFORWARD SOUL. (laughs) 241 00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:04,081 WELL, MANY TIMES, I FIND MYSELF GLOBE-TROTTING, 242 00:11:04,084 --> 00:11:06,094 AND I WISHED I HAD IN MY POSSESSION 243 00:11:06,086 --> 00:11:10,046 A RED, FIRM, SHINY APPLE FROM THE GOOD OLD U.S. OF A. 244 00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:13,000 REALLY? TELL ME WHERE YOU'VE BEEN. 245 00:11:13,003 --> 00:11:16,803 WHERE HAVEN'T I BEEN? IT'S EASIER. (laughs) 246 00:11:16,797 --> 00:11:19,387 (all laugh) 247 00:11:19,389 --> 00:11:21,429 YES. YES. 248 00:11:23,063 --> 00:11:25,073 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 249 00:11:25,065 --> 00:11:26,855 PRETEND YOU'RE ON THE SHOW "JACKASS." 250 00:11:26,857 --> 00:11:28,857 WHAT IS THIS "JACKASS"? 251 00:11:28,859 --> 00:11:31,439 IT WAS A TV SHOW ABOUT A BUNCH OF MENTALLY ILL MEN 252 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:34,151 WHO TRIED TO KILL THEMSELVES EACH WEEK. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC. 253 00:11:34,154 --> 00:11:37,084 MAURICE, YOU'RE THE EXPERT. IS THERE SOME KIND OF TECHNIQUE? 254 00:11:37,077 --> 00:11:39,237 TRY TO ROLL WITH IT. R-ROLL WITH IT? 255 00:11:39,239 --> 00:11:41,489 FLUFFY... (barking) 256 00:11:41,491 --> 00:11:43,991 ATTACK! FLUFFY, GOOD--GOOD BOY! 257 00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:45,924 FLUFFY! AAH! AAH! 258 00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:50,496 (snarling) DOWN, BOY! SIT, FLUFFY. I'LL GIVE YOU A DOGGY TREAT! 259 00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,460 I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A WILD ANIMAL! 260 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,252 ONE TIME, UM, I DESIGNED 261 00:11:54,254 --> 00:11:58,894 A 200-ROOM MANSION IN BOTSWANA FOR IKE TURNER. (laughs) YES. 262 00:11:58,889 --> 00:12:01,139 AND I EVEN DUG A MOAT AROUND IT 263 00:12:01,141 --> 00:12:04,141 TO KEEP THE BUSHMEN OFF THE TENNIS COURT. (all laughing) 264 00:12:04,144 --> 00:12:06,734 BUT WAIT, WAIT. HAVE YOU DESIGNED ANYTHING 265 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:11,056 FOR A U.S. PRESIDENT? I DID DESIGN A 3,000-SQUARE FOOT GAZEBO FOR JIMMY CARTER. 266 00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:13,611 NO, COME ON. 3,000 SQUARE FEET? 267 00:12:13,613 --> 00:12:15,863 YES, YES. THAT LITTLE PEANUT FARMER FROM GEORGIA 268 00:12:15,856 --> 00:12:17,986 LIKES HIS SHADE. (laughs) 269 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:20,028 (all laughing) 270 00:12:21,862 --> 00:12:25,082 YOU READY TO GO AGAIN, LITTLE MAN? NO, I'M NOT READY. 271 00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:28,125 I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. KELLY RIPA ONLY HAS ONE DOG! 272 00:12:28,128 --> 00:12:29,788 WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH 273 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,130 DO I HAVE TO DO THIS WITH THREE DOGS? 274 00:12:32,132 --> 00:12:35,682 YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO PREPARED. MAURICE, RELEASE THE HOUNDS. 275 00:12:35,675 --> 00:12:37,925 ATTACK! (dogs snarl) 276 00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:40,218 DOWN, BOY! IT'S OKAY! 277 00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:41,590 COME ON, FIGHT BACK! 278 00:12:41,591 --> 00:12:43,881 THEY'RE TURNING YOU INTO THEIR BITCH. 279 00:12:43,884 --> 00:12:45,274 I AM THEIR BITCH. 280 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,345 THEY ARE PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR TO ME. 281 00:12:47,347 --> 00:12:49,347 THERE ARE DOGS GNAWING AT MY FLESH! 282 00:12:49,349 --> 00:12:52,349 IT COULD USE A LITTLE MORE SALT, DON'T YOU THINK? AAH! I HAVE RABIES! 283 00:12:52,352 --> 00:12:55,202 I'VE JUST CONTRACTED RABIES! A SMIDGE. 284 00:12:55,195 --> 00:12:57,605 MMM. 285 00:12:57,607 --> 00:13:01,567 MMM. THIS APPLE CRISP IS DELIGHTFUL. MMM. 286 00:13:01,571 --> 00:13:04,111 I KNOW. ROCCO'S A GENIUS. 287 00:13:04,114 --> 00:13:07,374 OH, GOSH. LOOK AT THE TIME. I GOTTA GO. 288 00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:10,207 WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TALK ABOUT THE APARTMENT. 289 00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:12,210 WELL, WE CAN ALWAYS MEET UP AGAIN TOMORROW. 290 00:13:12,212 --> 00:13:14,752 NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE MY GUY. 291 00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:17,014 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY 292 00:13:17,007 --> 00:13:19,047 THE STUDIO TOMORROW BEFORE THE SHOW, 293 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,089 AND WE'LL HASH OUT A PROPOSAL, OKAY? 294 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:23,221 OKAY. 295 00:13:23,223 --> 00:13:25,433 (laughs) 296 00:13:25,425 --> 00:13:28,425 WE PARK THE CAB ON THIS SIDE STREET 297 00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:31,638 AND COME OUT THE BUILDING HERE. NO, NO, SEE, THERE'S A FIREHOUSE RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET. 298 00:13:31,641 --> 00:13:35,071 THEY'LL TOW YOU IN TWO SECONDS. WE REALLY DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT... 299 00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:38,065 (Kenny G's "Songbird" playing) 300 00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:45,163 OSWALD... HMM. 301 00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:47,155 IF I TOLD YOU SOMETHING, 302 00:13:47,157 --> 00:13:49,997 DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO BE MAD AT ME? 303 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,290 THAT'S A FRIGHTENING OPENING GAMBIT, SWEETHEART. 304 00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:56,303 I TOLD THE TRUMPS THAT WE'D STOP BY THE BENEFIT 305 00:13:56,296 --> 00:13:58,006 AT THE MUSEUM TONIGHT. 306 00:13:58,008 --> 00:13:59,418 KELLY. 307 00:13:59,419 --> 00:14:03,169 OH, AND ONE OTHER TEENY, TINY LITTLE THING-- 308 00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:06,143 THEY ASKED IF YOU WOULD GIVE A SPEECH TONIGHT, 309 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,136 AND I TOLD THEM THAT YOU WOULD. 310 00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:11,468 (sighs) AGAIN? WHY DON'T THEY JUST GET JON STEWART? 311 00:14:11,471 --> 00:14:13,891 BECAUSE JON STEWART DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE 312 00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:17,074 BETWEEN CORINTHIAN, IONIC AND DORIC COLUMNS. 313 00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:20,317 (British accent) FATHER, MAY WE SING YOU OUR CHRISTMAS SONG? 314 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,940 OF COURSE, CHILDREN. (blows note) 315 00:14:22,943 --> 00:14:26,123 ♪ CHRISTMAS IS COMING, THE GOOSE IS GETTING FAT ♪ 316 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:29,076 ♪ PLEASE PUT A PENNY IN THE OLD MAN'S HAT ♪ 317 00:14:29,079 --> 00:14:31,579 HELLO! 318 00:14:31,581 --> 00:14:35,091 HUH? WHAT? WE'RE MAKING A PLAN OVER HERE. REMEMBER? 319 00:14:35,085 --> 00:14:36,625 TO ROB KELLY RIPA? 320 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,086 UH, WE CAN'T ROB HER. 321 00:14:39,089 --> 00:14:41,049 WHAT? 322 00:14:41,051 --> 00:14:43,091 YEAH, YEAH, THAT-- THAT BUILDING'S NO GOOD. 323 00:14:43,093 --> 00:14:45,603 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE BUILDING? WELL, FOR STARTERS, 324 00:14:45,595 --> 00:14:47,675 IT'S ACROSS THE STREET FROM A FIREHOUSE. 325 00:14:47,677 --> 00:14:49,767 SO? SO FROM THE GET-GO, I WAS PERFECTLY CLEAR 326 00:14:49,769 --> 00:14:51,559 THAT WE CAN'T ROB A BUILDING 327 00:14:51,561 --> 00:14:54,351 THAT'S ACROSS THE STREET FROM A FIREHOUSE. YOU NEVER SAID THAT. 328 00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:58,784 WELL, WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO AGREE TO DISAGREE ON THIS ONE. WE NEED TO ROB SOMEONE! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! 329 00:14:58,778 --> 00:15:00,188 WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA BE KELLY RIPA! 330 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:04,900 WHAT? WHAT? 331 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,494 ANYBODY WANT ANY GEFILTE FISH? 332 00:15:19,339 --> 00:15:23,339 YOU LEFT IN QUITE A HURRY THERE, HUH, CHIEF? YEAH, WELL, I'VE HAD A LOT 333 00:15:23,343 --> 00:15:26,223 ON MY MIND THESE DAYS, SQUATCH. 334 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:28,176 CARE TO SHARE? 335 00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:32,138 LOOK, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS A LITTLE CRAZY, BUT, UH... 336 00:15:32,142 --> 00:15:34,852 I'VE DEVELOPED STRONG FEELINGS FOR KELLY RIPA. 337 00:15:34,854 --> 00:15:36,234 REALLY? 338 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:38,606 YEAH. I THINK I MIGHT LOVE HER. 339 00:15:38,608 --> 00:15:40,608 (laughs) COME ON NOW. 340 00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:43,150 THAT DOESN'T SOUND A LITTLE CRAZY. 341 00:15:43,153 --> 00:15:45,913 THAT SOUNDS VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY CRAZY, EUGENE. 342 00:15:45,905 --> 00:15:48,235 OKAY? SHE'S A BIG, GIANT STAR, 343 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:52,028 NOT TO MENTION MARRIED WITH KIDS. SEE, I KNOW THAT, BUT WHEN I HAD LUNCH WITH HER THE OTHER DAY-- 344 00:15:52,032 --> 00:15:54,072 WHOA! WHOA! YOU HAD LUNCH WITH HER? YEAH, WELL, 345 00:15:54,074 --> 00:15:57,634 WHEN I CALLED HER TO TELL HER I COULDN'T DO THE JOB, 346 00:15:57,627 --> 00:15:59,747 SHE ASKED ME, AND I COULDN'T-- I COULDN'T RESIST. 347 00:15:59,749 --> 00:16:02,839 SQUATCH, WHEN I'M WITH HER, I FEEL LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON. 348 00:16:02,842 --> 00:16:05,222 THIS LUNCH THE OTHER DAY-- IT WAS--IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 349 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,215 IT WAS LIKE MAGIC. I MEAN, YOU SHOULD HAVE 350 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,347 SEEN ALL THESE PEOPLE, FALLING ALL OVER THEMSELVES, 351 00:16:09,349 --> 00:16:12,639 TRYING TO KISS EUGENE GURKIN'S BUTT FIRST. THE REASON WHY YOU FELT LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON 352 00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,802 WHEN YOU WERE WITH KELLY RIPA-- 353 00:16:14,804 --> 00:16:17,864 BECAUSE YOU ARE A DIFFERENT PERSON, EUGENE. 354 00:16:17,857 --> 00:16:19,687 YOU'RE OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 355 00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:21,899 YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. SHE ASKED ME 356 00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:24,061 BY THE SHOW TOMORROW, AND I'M GOING, 357 00:16:24,064 --> 00:16:27,074 AND I'M GONNA TELL HER HOW I FEEL. CHIEF, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. 358 00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:29,027 YOU DON'T LOVE KELLY RIPA, OKAY? 359 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:32,159 YOU LOVE BEING OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 360 00:16:32,162 --> 00:16:34,112 I MEAN, I KNOW BECAUSE 361 00:16:34,114 --> 00:16:36,504 I WANT TO BE OSWALD MONTECRISTO, TOO. 362 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,036 I MEAN, SO DOES GARY. SO DOES ROCKEFELLER, 363 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:41,419 ESPERANZA, EVEN RICH LITTLE LOUIS. 364 00:16:41,421 --> 00:16:43,541 WE ALL WANT DIGNITY. 365 00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:46,513 WE ALL WANT RESPECT AND, YES, THAT WELL-PLACED BUTT-KISSING 366 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,506 FROM TIME TO TIME, BUT NOT LIKE THIS, EUGENE. 367 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,509 YOU DON'T GET IT BY PRETENDING TO BE SOMEBODY YOU AIN'T. 368 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,852 YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT. WE KNOW HOW TO GET IT. 369 00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:58,015 IT'S BY DOING WHAT THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY 370 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,767 SET OUT TO DO, MAN. 371 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,560 (man) HEY, CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE? 372 00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:05,363 I CAME HERE TO RELAX. 373 00:17:05,355 --> 00:17:07,645 SORRY. 374 00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:11,569 HERE YOU GO, MR. MONTECRISTO. 375 00:17:11,571 --> 00:17:14,781 KELLY KNOWS YOU'RE HERE, AND SHE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. THANK YOU. 376 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,214 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? WATER? 377 00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:18,706 NO, I'M--I'M FINE, THANK YOU. 378 00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:20,998 HAVE YOU SEEN SOME GUY NAMED OSWALD MONTECRISTO? 379 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,160 I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE HIM THIS. THIS IS MR. MONTECRISTO. 380 00:17:24,164 --> 00:17:27,174 OH, I AM SO SORRY. I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS YOU. 381 00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:30,217 IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT. WELL, UH, HERE'S SOME WATER AND FRUIT, 382 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:33,340 AND IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE, PLEASE JUST LET US KNOW. 383 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:36,353 AND AGAIN, I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT RECOGNIZING YOU. 384 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:37,346 IT'S OKAY. 385 00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:38,977 (cheers and applause) 386 00:17:38,978 --> 00:17:40,978 (man) WELCOME TO "LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY." 387 00:17:40,980 --> 00:17:43,140 HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING? I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU 388 00:17:43,143 --> 00:17:46,033 HERE TODAY IN OUR LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE... 389 00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:47,735 HEY. THERE HE IS. 390 00:17:47,737 --> 00:17:49,107 I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME. 391 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:51,739 LISTEN, I GOTTA DO THE SHOW, 392 00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:53,741 BUT THEN WE'LL CHAT AFTERWARDS, OKAY? OKAY. 393 00:17:53,743 --> 00:17:55,873 OH, AND REGIS IS DYING TO MEET YOU. 394 00:17:55,865 --> 00:17:57,825 HE'S HAVING A DINNER PARTY TONIGHT. 395 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,407 HE WANTS TO INVITE YOU. 396 00:17:59,409 --> 00:18:01,829 I TOLD HIM YOU HAD REALLY GOOD STORIES. 397 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,001 OH. OH, KELLY. UM, CAN WE TALK BEFORE THE SHOW? 398 00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:06,593 YEAH, SURE. CAN--CAN WE SIT? 399 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:10,086 UH... OKAY. 400 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,879 WHAT'S UP, OSWALD? (clears throat) 401 00:18:12,882 --> 00:18:16,812 I... 402 00:18:16,806 --> 00:18:19,306 C-CAN'T DO THE JOB. 403 00:18:19,309 --> 00:18:21,099 WHAT? WHY? 404 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,480 UM, I AM, UH, LEAVING. 405 00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:25,534 WHERE? 406 00:18:25,525 --> 00:18:27,275 BEIRUT. 407 00:18:27,277 --> 00:18:32,147 WHAT? YES, I'M--I'M BUILDING A BUILDING IN BEIRUT... 408 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,152 FOR THE KING OF BEIRUT, 409 00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:37,044 AND I WILL BE THERE FOR MANY YEARS. 410 00:18:37,036 --> 00:18:39,036 OH, WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. 411 00:18:39,038 --> 00:18:43,038 I MEAN, I WAS REALLY STARTING TO ENJOY OSWALD MONTECRISTO. 412 00:18:43,042 --> 00:18:44,702 ME, TOO. 413 00:18:44,704 --> 00:18:46,804 (door opens) HEY, LOOK WHO IT IS. 414 00:18:46,796 --> 00:18:51,876 (deep voice) IT'S TV's RAY ROMANO! YEAH. YEAH, I DO A LOT OF OTHER STUFF, TOO. 415 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,091 (normal voice) HOW'S IT GOING? GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. 416 00:18:54,093 --> 00:18:56,103 YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST-- I WAS JUST LOOKING 417 00:18:56,095 --> 00:18:58,095 AT THESE QUESTIONS YOU'RE GONNA ASK. 418 00:18:58,097 --> 00:18:59,807 "HOW DO YOU PREPARE TO BE 419 00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:03,219 THE VOICE OF THE WOOLLY MAMMOTH FROM 'ICE AGE'?" (laughs) 420 00:19:03,223 --> 00:19:04,723 I CAN'T DO IT. 421 00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:07,574 DO WE HAVE TO GO THAT WAY? REALLY? 422 00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:10,607 ARE--ARE YOU OKAY? YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE YOURSELF. 423 00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:12,230 YOU SEE, THAT'S THE POINT. 424 00:19:12,232 --> 00:19:15,242 HOW--HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF I'M--I'M LIKE MYSELF 425 00:19:15,235 --> 00:19:17,405 IF THESE ARE THE LAME QUESTIONS YOU'RE GONNA ASK? 426 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,407 OH, WELL, COME ON. I THINK EVERYBODY WANTS 427 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:22,119 TO KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO PLAY A WOOLLY MAMMOTH. 428 00:19:22,121 --> 00:19:24,241 REALLY? REALLY? YOU REALLY THINK THAT? 429 00:19:24,244 --> 00:19:26,674 SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? YOU'RE GONNA ASK THE QUESTION, 430 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,666 AND THEN REGIS-- HE'S GONNA HOP UP AND DOWN... 431 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,128 (imitating Regis) "HEY, HEY, BIG GUY! 432 00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:33,129 "HOW'D YOU GET SO WOOLLY? HUH? CAN YOU MAKE IT WOOLLIER? 433 00:19:33,132 --> 00:19:34,792 I'M REGIS, AND I WANT IT WOOLLIER!" 434 00:19:34,794 --> 00:19:37,144 (normal voice) AND THAT'S GONNA BE TIME WELL-SPENT. 435 00:19:37,136 --> 00:19:39,676 GREAT. HEY, WHOA, BUDDY, WHAT'S-- WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 436 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:44,219 WHAT DO YOU CARE? WHAT--WHAT--WHO ARE YOU? IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO I AM. JUST PLEASE--JUST BACK OFF THE LADY. 437 00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:47,234 OSWALD, IT'S OKAY. NO, LOOK. I MEAN, THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE 438 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,607 SCRUBBING TOILETS TEN HOURS A DAY, 439 00:19:48,608 --> 00:19:51,148 WAITING TABLES, DRIVING CABS, AND LOOK--LOOK AT ALL YOU GOT. 440 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,360 AND YOU'RE-- YOU'RE STANDING HERE COMPLAINING 441 00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:56,373 WHEN YOU SHOULD BE THANKING YOUR LUCKY STARS AND SHUT UP! WELL, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! 442 00:19:56,366 --> 00:20:00,156 THAT'S WHAT I NEED NOW-- ADVICE FROM A GAY MILKMAN. 443 00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:05,162 THANKS FOR STICKING UP FOR ME. 444 00:20:05,164 --> 00:20:06,674 YOU'RE WELCOME. 445 00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:13,130 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING 446 00:20:13,132 --> 00:20:15,802 TO THIS EMERGENCY MEETING OF THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY. 447 00:20:15,795 --> 00:20:17,335 I, UH, KNOW SQUATCH INFORMED YOU 448 00:20:17,337 --> 00:20:19,677 AS TO WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO ROB KELLY RIPA. 449 00:20:19,679 --> 00:20:21,889 YOU WERE HYPNOTIZED BY HER HOOCHIE-MAGOO. 450 00:20:21,891 --> 00:20:23,891 TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. I WOULDN'T HAVE PHRASED IT THAT WAY, 451 00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:26,313 BUT LET'S JUST SAY I'M OVER IT, OKAY? 452 00:20:26,306 --> 00:20:28,936 I'M READY TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE. 453 00:20:28,938 --> 00:20:31,268 SO WE CAN ROB KELLY RIPA? 454 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,401 NO. BUT WE ARE ROBBING SOMEONE BETTER-- 455 00:20:33,403 --> 00:20:35,953 SOMEONE MORE DESERVING TO BE ROBBED THAN KELLY RIPA, 456 00:20:35,945 --> 00:20:38,815 SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY HAS THE LIFE OF OSWALD MONTECRISTO 457 00:20:38,818 --> 00:20:40,198 BUT DOESN'T APPRECIATE IT... 458 00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:41,949 SOMEONE WHO, I MIGHT ADD, 459 00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:44,201 DOESN'T EVEN OWN A HOOCHIE-MAGOO. 460 00:20:44,203 --> 00:20:45,963 WHO? WHO WE ROBBIN'? 461 00:20:45,955 --> 00:20:50,205 LADY AND GENTLEMEN... I GIVE YOU OUR NEXT TARGET. 462 00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,343 WE ROBBIN' RAY ROMANO? 463 00:20:56,336 --> 00:20:59,136 THAT'S RIGHT. AND THIS TIME... 464 00:20:59,138 --> 00:21:00,638 IT'S PERSONAL. 465 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,930 THESE GIANT PHOTOS ARE MAKING US BROKE. 466 00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:06,853 ♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪ 467 00:21:06,846 --> 00:21:08,846 WE THE KNIGHTS, BABY. 36167

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