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-- Subs by kinglouisxx --
for www.addic7ed.com
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Happy belated birthday!
3
00:00:08,354 --> 00:00:10,110
My birthday was like a month ago.
4
00:00:10,164 --> 00:00:13,462
Well, it took me this long to
find you the perfect present.
5
00:00:14,356 --> 00:00:15,691
Holy crap.
6
00:00:15,723 --> 00:00:18,205
Is that one of those giant
coffee table books?
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00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:19,831
Yep.
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00:00:19,865 --> 00:00:21,401
It's one of those gifts
that looks impressive
9
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but is actually really cheap, right?
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00:00:23,268 --> 00:00:25,772
Well, that's what made it so perfect.
11
00:00:25,805 --> 00:00:28,942
I got it for 25 cents at a yard sale.
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00:00:28,974 --> 00:00:31,643
This old lady with arthritis
couldn't even lift it anymore,
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00:00:31,677 --> 00:00:35,247
so she dragged it in by a wagon
to show it to me.
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00:00:39,751 --> 00:00:42,589
Wow, a book about famous castles.
15
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How did you know about my love
for giant stone houses?
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This is the same book
Meghan Markle looks at
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when she's filled with regret.
18
00:00:53,328 --> 00:00:56,932
So, you never told me...
what did Josh give you?
19
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,495
You're the first woman in
the family to date a rich guy.
20
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,964
I once got an expensive silk scarf,
21
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:05,166
but the guy's wife came
and took it back.
22
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,336
Oh, well, uh,
Josh was supposed to take me
23
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to his family's vacation house
in South Haven,
24
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but, uh, I haven't really
heard from him in a while.
25
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How long's a while?
26
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I don't know, like a-a couple of weeks.
27
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,579
A couple of weeks?
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You guys were all over each other 24/7.
29
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I know.
30
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Just please don't tell Mom about it.
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She'll blow this way out of proportion.
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He's probably just protesting
somewhere with no cell service.
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I'm sure he'll get me something
great when he gets back.
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00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,927
Harris, sweet Harris.
35
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,296
We're all raised to believe in
the fairy tale.
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You know the one.
37
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It's 3:00 in the morning
at some dive bar
38
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,934
and you see him
39
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:43,638
scratching his head with a fork
in the cutest way.
40
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He puts out a cigarette
in his leftover nachos
41
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,543
and approaches you, and you think
42
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:52,614
"This is the start of
something beautiful,"
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so you spend the night with him.
44
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,818
But you wake up the next morning
and he's gone.
45
00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,454
And so is your toaster oven.
46
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:05,659
And you sit there eating your
soft, dry bread, thinking,
47
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"Damn, he got the coffee maker, too."
48
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Why don't you look at the castles
49
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,469
and pretend you're a princess?
50
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:20,642
I don't understand
why we can't have waffles.
51
00:02:20,675 --> 00:02:22,477
Grandpa has syrup right there.
52
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:25,779
Uh, that is pure maple syrup
that I bought for your grandpa.
53
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,057
That stuff is like gold.
54
00:02:27,082 --> 00:02:29,650
We're not gonna waste it
on your unevolved palates.
55
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We'll get you a jug of the cheap stuff
56
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whenever we get a coupon for it.
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00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:39,026
I'll add that to my list
for Child Protective Services.
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00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,996
I've had previous grievances.
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00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:44,130
Oh, wow.
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00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,501
Here's a picture of a woman
who's over 100 years old.
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00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,704
In 1918, she had the Spanish flu,
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00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,672
and in 2020, she beat Covid.
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Twice.
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Man, I wish I had her genes.
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But not her luck.
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What do you got for me?
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Um, a woman made her family
move into the garage
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00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:02,749
because she didn't want to get Covid,
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00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,852
so she got a cat for company.
70
00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,820
And then she tripped over
the cat on the stairs
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00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:07,889
and broke her neck.
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As soon as we knock out
this Covid thing,
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we gotta go after cats.
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00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,996
Can we just enjoy
sitting down to one meal
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00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,865
without talking about Covid?
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00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:19,599
There's plenty of other tragic events
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for you two to find hilarious.
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Homicides are up everywhere.
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Enjoy.
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Well, this is how we
deal with this stuff.
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You can either laugh or cry,
and we choose to laugh about it.
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Oh, by the way, Mom, I don't have
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basketball practice tomorrow.
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They said there's a leak in the gym roof
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and the floor isn't safe.
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00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,553
Oh, nope, that's a lie.
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00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:39,854
The parents got an e-mail saying
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that your coach just tested positive.
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C-Coach Kazmerick?
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Is he okay?
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00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,730
Yeah, he'll probably be fine.
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00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:50,797
The good news is if enough kids
have to quarantine,
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you might actually get a chance to play.
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00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,573
Do you think there's a reason
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00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:01,074
they didn't tell the kids
about the coach?
96
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,478
Oh, he would've heard it
from his friends anyway.
97
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,712
I think it's a mistake
constantly hammering him
98
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,082
with all this Covid stuff.
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00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,752
He's gonna develop an obsession with it.
100
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,720
I-I just got him talking
about it, which is healthy.
101
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,055
I started having panic attacks
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00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,124
because I wasn't talking about
my anxieties.
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Yeah, fair enough,
but m-maybe you could try
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mixing some good news in with it.
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Uh, I-I mean, I read this morning
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more and more people
are surviving the virus.
107
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,436
Well, Mark's a smart kid.
He knows it goes beyond that.
108
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,738
He knows some of them
wind up with heart problems,
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00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,073
lung problems, memory problems.
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00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,941
See, there's your good news.
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00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,945
Those people won't remember
what it was like to be healthy.
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00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:43,793
3x12 - A Stomach Ache,
A Heartbreak And A Grave Mistake
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That was so sweet for you to
get this for Beverly Rose, Dad,
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00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,957
but don't you think the way
her legs wrap around the seat
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will make her bowlegged?
116
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,728
Well, if it does,
it'll make it much easier
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for her to ride a horse.
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Don't repeat this to your sister.
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I'm listening.
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- Dad, I need to talk to you about Josh...
- Ehh.
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...that rich kid
that Harris is in love with.
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Oh, I like him.
123
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He gives me cash to leave the room
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so they can make out.
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00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,681
Invest that wisely.
That's your college fund.
126
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,983
So, Harris thinks he's out of town,
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00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,984
but I saw him at his parents' house
128
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,020
watching "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"
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on the biggest projection TV
I have ever seen.
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00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,525
I mean, the picture was so clear,
131
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it was like I was in the parade.
132
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:03,197
You were spying on this guy and
you stayed to watch the movie?
133
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:04,898
I already had a comfortable
position in the tree,
134
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,602
and that movie really holds up.
135
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:08,936
Should I tell Harris?
136
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,105
Nehh. Tell Darlene. It's her kid.
137
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:13,707
I'm Harris' brother.
Can I please tell her?
138
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,176
No. There's $5 in my purse.
139
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,745
You can have it if you leave now.
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00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:18,945
You don't have a purse.
141
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,882
I don't have $5, either. Get out.
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00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,186
I don't know what to do.
143
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,822
Darlene warned Harris about Josh,
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00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,592
but she doesn't want
the "I told you so."
145
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:35,096
I can't just sit back and watch
Harris be blindsided like this.
146
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,830
I know how much that hurts.
147
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,965
Hey, Grandpa,
you might want to check on Mary.
148
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:40,133
She doesn't know how to work the remote
149
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:41,702
and she just ordered "Mulan" four times.
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00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,670
Aah! That's 120 bucks!
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00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:49,142
I'm so glad you came in here.
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00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,645
There's something I need to show you.
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00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:54,915
I took this yesterday.
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00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,751
Josh has been at his parents'
house the whole time.
155
00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,087
That piece of crap.
156
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,589
He said he loved me.
Things were going great with us.
157
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,759
I'm really sorry.
158
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,727
He owes you an explanation.
159
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,262
Why?
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00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:10,564
It's over. There's nothing I can do.
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00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,332
Yes, there is.
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00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:14,902
Nobody has the right to
disrespect you like that.
163
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,237
You deserve some closure.
164
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,640
You let one guy get away with
treating you badly,
165
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:22,243
it's easier to let the next guy
do it to you, too.
166
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:26,046
Just don't want to be some
creepy ex-girlfriend stalker.
167
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,649
I don't know why that's gotten
such a bad rap.
168
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,017
You need to go over there
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00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,921
and show him you will not be ignored.
170
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,056
Maybe you boil his rabbit.
171
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,090
What the hell are you talking about?
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00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,260
Boil his rabbit? That's horrible.
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Oh, you never saw that movie.
174
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:44,030
It's about this
perfectly reasonable woman
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00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:45,198
who gets the short end of the stick.
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00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,900
We'll watch it later.
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00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,604
Oh, God. I can't believe this.
178
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:50,904
What's wrong?
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00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,174
I don't want your father to hear.
180
00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:55,642
I went to visit Roseanne's grave
181
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,378
because it'd been almost two years.
182
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:58,813
Why are you freaking out?
183
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,047
Wait, was she not there?
184
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,181
No, she's there.
185
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,650
But now there's a tombstone
186
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:05,152
right next to hers that says,
187
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,817
"I can't believe they stuck me
next to this bitch."
188
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:10,890
That is horrible. Who is it?
189
00:08:10,916 --> 00:08:12,884
You remember the Remschlatters?
190
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,161
You have to be more specific.
191
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:15,795
There's a lot of
Remschlatters out there.
192
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,297
Paul Remschlatter.
193
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,666
The guy down the street
who used to put his trash
194
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,769
in our cans when his were full.
195
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,703
Oh, I remember that.
196
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:27,174
And then Mom took the trash cans
and dumped them out on his lawn.
197
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,010
You know, after we picked out
all his recyclables.
198
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,710
Yeah, so that went on for years,
199
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:32,847
and now he's trying to have
the last laugh.
200
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,881
- Not on my watch.
- What are you gonna do?
201
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,717
I don't know,
but I have to defend my sister
202
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,085
because she can't.
203
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:40,420
And she always defended me.
204
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,689
Was that after I left the house?
205
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:45,760
Because all I remember
is her relentlessly mocking you.
206
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,161
Tomato, potato!
207
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,262
She was a wonderful person!
208
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,902
Mulan is so brave.
209
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,871
She took her father's place
in the war to protect him.
210
00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,240
That's a good daughter.
211
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:02,709
Hey, when you drop your phone,
212
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,945
I pick it up so you
don't have to bend over.
213
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,714
Yeah, okay.
214
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,783
Do you think my arm looks swollen?
215
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,352
It's a lot bigger than
the other one, right?
216
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,254
They both look exactly the same.
217
00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:15,523
What's going on?
218
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,725
Well, Mom sent me this article
that said some Covid patients
219
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,760
experience inflammation in their veins
220
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,929
when they first get it and it
makes their arms swell up.
221
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,366
Well, it doesn't look swollen,
but is it sore?
222
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,734
I don't know. Maybe.
223
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,069
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
224
00:09:29,094 --> 00:09:31,371
Why are you sending articles
like that to him?
225
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,039
No, it's okay. I asked her.
226
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,375
No, it's not okay.
227
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,143
I'm just gonna go upstairs
and rent this again
228
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:38,411
on my computer where I can hear it.
229
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,382
Mark, go outside
and shoot some hoops, buddy.
230
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,950
I need to talk to your mom.
231
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:49,155
No, I don't need to talk to you.
I know what I'm doing.
232
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,092
I'm sorry,
but I'm not gonna let that kid
233
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,193
think he's got Covid.
234
00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:55,929
The only reason he thinks
he's got vein inflammation
235
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,098
is because you keep pushing
this crap on him.
236
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,133
No, I'm not pushing anything on him.
237
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,837
He asked me about it,
and I'm not gonna lie to him.
238
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:06,307
That's a parent's job.
You have to lie to them.
239
00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:09,176
Kids can't handle everything
that goes on in the world.
240
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,143
That's just common sense, right?
241
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,980
Sure, kids are fragile.
That's common sense.
242
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,216
No. The entire world
is on their phones now.
243
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,119
You can't hide the truth
from them anymore.
244
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,876
And if you do, they're just
not gonna trust you.
245
00:10:19,901 --> 00:10:20,954
Oh, yeah, no.
246
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,823
If you don't have trust,
you got nothing.
247
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,825
It's not so much a matter of trust
248
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:27,527
as it is making the kid
feel safe and secure.
249
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,396
Remember when D.J. had strep throat?
250
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:33,000
We calmed him down by telling
him he was gonna live forever.
251
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,370
You can't go by him.
You can't cure stupid.
252
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:39,940
I'm having
really bad pains in my stomach.
253
00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:41,115
Where does it hurt?
254
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,144
Upper stomach? Lower stomach?
255
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:44,311
Did you go to the bathroom today?
256
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:47,213
Yes. It really hurts. Is it Covid?
257
00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:48,281
You know what?
We're gonna go to urgent care.
258
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,315
Yeah, that's what I'd do.
259
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,917
It's a stomach ache.
260
00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:53,094
Let him lay down and see if
he's better in a half an hour.
261
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,889
You're right. We might be overreacting.
262
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,991
No, we're going. Are you coming, Jackie?
263
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,491
Well, maybe I should.
264
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,474
Unless Dan wants me to
stay here for supper.
265
00:11:00,499 --> 00:11:02,395
- You should go, Jackie.
- Okay.
266
00:11:10,861 --> 00:11:11,964
Ms. Harris?
267
00:11:11,965 --> 00:11:13,600
- Yeah.
- Don Blansky.
268
00:11:13,642 --> 00:11:15,622
I'm the director of
the Forest Hills cemetery.
269
00:11:15,677 --> 00:11:17,513
Oh, hi. Thank you so much for coming.
270
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,260
- Call me Jackie.
- Oh.
271
00:11:19,285 --> 00:11:21,013
And I'm sorry I had to
push our appointment.
272
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,817
I had to take my grand-nephew
to urgent care.
273
00:11:23,842 --> 00:11:26,011
Oh, anything serious, or...?
274
00:11:26,051 --> 00:11:27,219
Oh, no, no. Don't get excited.
275
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,556
He's fine.
276
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,392
But I made you some pie
to nosh on while we talk.
277
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:35,328
So, I imagine you're probably wondering
278
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,129
why I invited you here.
279
00:11:37,162 --> 00:11:38,531
Uh, well, no. Not really.
280
00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,400
I mean, getting wined and dined
281
00:11:40,432 --> 00:11:42,368
is all part of the job these days.
282
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,371
- Ah, I didn't know that.
- Oh, yeah.
283
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,272
Everyone's trying to get a good spot.
284
00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:48,041
It's not like high school.
285
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,743
Everybody wants to be
Don Blansky's friend now.
286
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:52,512
Ooh.
287
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,748
Well, I'm glad you're doing well,
288
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:57,517
even if it is for all the wrong,
ghoulish reasons.
289
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,686
Mm. I don't wish anyone ill.
290
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,689
But when a jock who bullied me dies,
291
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:06,625
you know, a nerd gets a Porsche,
you feel me?
292
00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:09,395
I'm trying not to. But, uh...
293
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:11,797
No, I-I actually don't need a spot.
294
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:14,695
I just need a small,
itty-bitty, little favor.
295
00:12:15,626 --> 00:12:18,738
I would like you to dig up
Paul Remschlatter
296
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,473
and move him.
297
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,142
We don't really dig people up, you know.
298
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,743
Unless the authorities
figure out something like, uh,
299
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:27,247
you know, his wife cashed
a big life-insurance check,
300
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:29,281
so maybe he didn't shoot himself
in the back of the head.
301
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,316
- That kind of thing.
- Mm, well, yeah.
302
00:12:31,349 --> 00:12:33,186
That's not my situation.
303
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:34,787
Well, what's the issue with
Remschlatter?
304
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:37,623
Uh, the issue is that his headstone
305
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:40,593
is insulting my sister
who's buried right next to him.
306
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,795
Oh! The... The "bitch" one, right?
307
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,330
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
308
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,332
Yeah, why would you allow that?
309
00:12:46,364 --> 00:12:48,835
Well, it was the deceased's
last request,
310
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,770
and it's... it's kind of funny.
311
00:12:50,802 --> 00:12:54,106
People think we have
no sense of humor, but we do.
312
00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:56,075
We're just people.
313
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,744
Okay, look, I...
314
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:00,279
Here's what it is.
315
00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:03,348
I never thought that I would
outlive my older sister.
316
00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:04,617
I was a cop.
317
00:13:04,649 --> 00:13:07,219
I was a trucker who fell asleep a lot.
318
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:10,123
But I'm still going, and she's not,
319
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:13,827
and so the least I can do
is to take care of her memory.
320
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,360
Okay, look.
321
00:13:15,393 --> 00:13:16,695
I'm sorry about your sister,
322
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,364
but, you know, there's nothing I can do.
323
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:20,200
We... We signed a contract.
324
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,768
Well, what's Remschlatter gonna do?
325
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,536
Take you to court? He's dead!
326
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,205
Well, everyone I work with is dead.
327
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,705
That's not an arguing point.
328
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,807
Look, most people will think
it's the woman
329
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,710
on the other side of him, okay?
330
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,713
I'm sure everyone knows
your sister was a nice person.
331
00:13:33,745 --> 00:13:36,215
Well, that's where you're wrong,
my friend.
332
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:37,683
Good day to you.
333
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,189
Josh! It's Harris!
334
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:44,490
I know you're in there! Come out!
335
00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:46,258
What are you doing?
336
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:48,393
Pizza Express!
337
00:13:48,426 --> 00:13:50,864
Guys hate confrontation,
but they love pizza.
338
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,333
Josh!
339
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:54,700
I just want to talk!
340
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,371
He's never gonna come out.
341
00:13:58,403 --> 00:13:59,638
I feel so stupid. Let's just go.
342
00:13:59,671 --> 00:14:01,508
Oh, I got a way to get him out.
343
00:14:07,946 --> 00:14:10,416
Geez! First the rabbit, now a bat?
344
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:13,786
God, you're a psycho.
This is why you're single.
345
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:16,689
Calm down.
We're gonna destroy his mailbox.
346
00:14:16,721 --> 00:14:17,890
Once he sees that, he'll come out.
347
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,833
Whoa!
348
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,934
That stung a little.
349
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:32,272
If this was a cartoon,
I'd be vibrating right now.
350
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,507
You have lost some rage
since you had that baby.
351
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,309
Let me take a shot.
352
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,679
I felt that one in my teeth.
353
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,717
Okay.
354
00:14:48,653 --> 00:14:51,323
He may be too wealthy to vandalize.
355
00:14:52,657 --> 00:14:55,628
Their mail must be
much more important than ours.
356
00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:59,965
God, it's taking a long time
for the doctor
357
00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:01,533
to give us Mark's test results.
358
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,402
I'm sure he's fine, sweetie.
359
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,772
The doctor is probably
just ripping somebody else off
360
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:08,308
for a $300, two-minute video chat.
361
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,975
Hey, Doc!
362
00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:13,212
Thank you for your service
during these difficult times.
363
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:14,780
Is Mark okay?
364
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:16,916
Yes, he's tested negative for Covid-19.
365
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:17,917
Really?
366
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,051
Are you sure?
367
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:22,989
I mean, he did have that
imaginary swollen arm and all.
368
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,358
Well, we also ran some tests
for IBS and colitis
369
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:26,659
because of the recurring stomach aches,
370
00:15:26,691 --> 00:15:28,227
but we were able to
rule that out, as well.
371
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,596
Recurring?
372
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,998
Mark didn't have any
stomach problems until now.
373
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,866
So, he didn't tell you he's
been having them for weeks?
374
00:15:33,898 --> 00:15:35,634
No.
375
00:15:35,667 --> 00:15:37,436
I'm seeing a lot of kids
with stomach issues
376
00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,538
from chronic stress in this pandemic.
377
00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:41,373
It's been a year of these kids
being bombarded
378
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:42,441
by information every day.
379
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:43,776
It's... It's too much.
380
00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:44,910
No, that can't be the problem.
381
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,814
Mark's the kind of kid who likes
to hear the information.
382
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:50,382
Well, you know your kid.
383
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,785
But I'd talk to him
and see what's going on.
384
00:15:52,817 --> 00:15:54,953
I'm gonna put my nurse on
to tell you about
385
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:56,790
some over-the-counter
medications that might help.
386
00:15:58,423 --> 00:15:59,825
This doesn't make sense.
387
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,293
I didn't make my kid sick.
388
00:16:01,326 --> 00:16:02,794
No, you didn't.
389
00:16:02,827 --> 00:16:04,896
You gave him
a crippling anxiety disorder.
390
00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:07,000
You didn't know what he was
gonna do with it.
391
00:16:10,411 --> 00:16:12,128
Aah!
392
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,736
Holy crap!
393
00:16:14,761 --> 00:16:17,698
This mailbox is built better
than our house.
394
00:16:17,747 --> 00:16:20,315
Next tornado, I'm putting
Beverly Rose in this thing.
395
00:16:21,515 --> 00:16:23,430
Hey, what are you doing?
396
00:16:23,485 --> 00:16:25,020
My parents are gonna call the cops.
397
00:16:25,053 --> 00:16:27,023
Rich people. Okay, Karen.
398
00:16:30,158 --> 00:16:31,760
Why the hell have you been ghosting me?
399
00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:34,297
Because I thought talking
would be awkward.
400
00:16:34,330 --> 00:16:37,033
You seemed really into me, and I
just didn't feel the same way.
401
00:16:37,066 --> 00:16:38,567
Plus, I mean, I was your first love.
402
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,501
I didn't want to hurt you.
403
00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:42,438
So you just pretend that I don't exist?
404
00:16:42,471 --> 00:16:44,752
You were only trying to
protect your own feelings
405
00:16:44,777 --> 00:16:46,509
because you're not man enough
to actually face me
406
00:16:46,542 --> 00:16:48,043
and say goodbye.
407
00:16:48,076 --> 00:16:50,712
Did you think that I was
so in love with you
408
00:16:50,745 --> 00:16:52,414
that you would crush me?
409
00:16:52,447 --> 00:16:55,418
You are not that smart,
you are not funny,
410
00:16:55,451 --> 00:16:57,120
and you have to go to protests
411
00:16:57,153 --> 00:16:58,788
to make yourself look interesting.
412
00:16:58,821 --> 00:17:00,556
You may have great hair,
413
00:17:00,589 --> 00:17:02,993
but the rest of you
is extremely average.
414
00:17:04,259 --> 00:17:05,728
So, are we good?
415
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,363
I am.
416
00:17:07,395 --> 00:17:08,464
You suck.
417
00:17:16,404 --> 00:17:18,206
I'm proud of you.
418
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,709
There are so many times
419
00:17:19,741 --> 00:17:21,277
I should've done that, and I didn't.
420
00:17:21,309 --> 00:17:22,744
Thanks.
421
00:17:22,778 --> 00:17:24,079
Feel better?
422
00:17:24,113 --> 00:17:26,082
Yeah, but no.
423
00:17:26,115 --> 00:17:28,785
I mean, I know I deserve way
better than that jerk, but...
424
00:17:28,817 --> 00:17:31,086
doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
425
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:32,588
One last thing.
426
00:17:39,095 --> 00:17:40,462
- Yes!
- Oh!
427
00:17:40,496 --> 00:17:42,665
- Yeah! Great job!
- Whoo!
428
00:17:42,698 --> 00:17:45,134
I forgot to tell you
that messing with a mailbox
429
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,535
is a federal crime.
430
00:17:46,568 --> 00:17:47,944
We should probably run right now.
431
00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:54,601
Hey.
432
00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:55,951
How you feeling?
433
00:17:55,952 --> 00:17:58,054
A little better.
W-What did the doctor say?
434
00:17:58,087 --> 00:17:59,830
Well, no disease,
435
00:17:59,831 --> 00:18:02,501
but she says you're under
a lot of stress.
436
00:18:02,534 --> 00:18:04,336
So, why didn't you tell me
437
00:18:04,369 --> 00:18:05,471
you've been having these stomach aches?
438
00:18:05,503 --> 00:18:08,640
Well, I-I didn't want to worry you.
439
00:18:08,674 --> 00:18:12,377
Well, I'm a parent.
I'm supposed to worry.
440
00:18:12,411 --> 00:18:15,113
And now, the doctor says that
me talking to you
441
00:18:15,138 --> 00:18:18,441
about all this Covid stuff
might be causing the problem.
442
00:18:18,474 --> 00:18:20,110
Do you think we talk about it too much?
443
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:23,045
Yeah, but we have to.
444
00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:24,748
Why?
445
00:18:24,781 --> 00:18:27,149
Because you need to.
446
00:18:27,183 --> 00:18:29,786
What are you talking about?
447
00:18:29,819 --> 00:18:31,620
Covid makes people anxious,
448
00:18:31,654 --> 00:18:34,057
and you've been having panic attacks.
449
00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:36,626
That's why you want to
talk about it all the time.
450
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:39,696
Sharing it with other people
makes it less scary, right?
451
00:18:39,728 --> 00:18:41,764
No, I don't want to talk about it.
452
00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:44,768
I-I was only doing it
to make you less anxious.
453
00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:47,537
So, we don't have to do this?
454
00:18:47,570 --> 00:18:49,139
My God, no!
455
00:18:50,806 --> 00:18:52,608
It... It's like that O. Henry story,
456
00:18:52,641 --> 00:18:55,812
but instead of selling your hair
to get me a pocket watch,
457
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:59,448
you gave me severe cramps and diarrhea.
458
00:18:59,482 --> 00:19:01,818
Oh, yeah, everybody knows
that O. Henry story.
459
00:19:02,985 --> 00:19:06,488
Anyway, um, since my love
460
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:10,960
irritates your intestinal tract,
let's try this...
461
00:19:10,993 --> 00:19:14,464
We are going to focus on the positives
462
00:19:14,496 --> 00:19:16,800
and we're gonna stop looking at
the negatives.
463
00:19:16,832 --> 00:19:19,101
That sounds good. And who are you?
464
00:19:19,135 --> 00:19:20,837
Come on.
465
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:22,972
Look, there's animals
coming back to places
466
00:19:23,004 --> 00:19:25,641
that were totally overrun with people.
467
00:19:25,675 --> 00:19:27,677
There's jellyfish that are living again
468
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:29,111
in the canals of Venice.
469
00:19:29,145 --> 00:19:31,815
Is that a good thing?
I thought jellyfish sting you.
470
00:19:31,848 --> 00:19:33,550
Oh, you don't have to
worry about that, honey.
471
00:19:33,582 --> 00:19:34,417
They're in Italy.
472
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:35,985
You're never gonna make it past Indiana.
473
00:19:37,687 --> 00:19:39,589
I-I guess I just have to relax
474
00:19:39,621 --> 00:19:43,058
and accept that even bad things
happen for a reason.
475
00:19:43,091 --> 00:19:44,627
That's right.
476
00:19:44,659 --> 00:19:46,028
And you know the saying...
477
00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:49,064
"When God closes a door,
he opens a window."
478
00:19:49,098 --> 00:19:50,934
And that's how
the murder hornets get in.
479
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,504
I'll... I'll work on it. Yeah.
480
00:19:54,536 --> 00:19:57,039
That wasn't good.
481
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:04,880
What are you doing out here?
482
00:20:04,914 --> 00:20:06,583
Having a little celebration.
483
00:20:06,616 --> 00:20:09,018
- Problem at the cemetery...
- resolved.
484
00:20:09,051 --> 00:20:12,021
You slept with the cemetery guy? Gross.
485
00:20:12,053 --> 00:20:13,889
He didn't make you
lie perfectly still, did he?
486
00:20:13,923 --> 00:20:15,692
Oh, my God!
487
00:20:15,725 --> 00:20:17,593
I didn't do anything
with the cemetery guy.
488
00:20:17,627 --> 00:20:19,863
Oh, come on. You can tell me.
489
00:20:19,896 --> 00:20:21,063
Was his bed like a coffin?
490
00:20:21,097 --> 00:20:23,867
Ugh! I wouldn't know.
491
00:20:23,899 --> 00:20:26,268
There was a phone call, we came
to an agreement, and it's done.
492
00:20:26,302 --> 00:20:27,770
I'm having Roseanne moved.
493
00:20:27,802 --> 00:20:29,505
Sweet.
494
00:20:29,539 --> 00:20:31,841
I feel sorry for whoever's gonna
be buried next to that jerk.
495
00:20:31,873 --> 00:20:33,610
Yeah.
496
00:20:33,642 --> 00:20:36,579
I don't think my mom's gonna like it.
497
00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:43,237
Grandpa, where were you?
You never miss dinner.
498
00:20:43,293 --> 00:20:46,034
What's with all the screaming?
499
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,744
Dad, we're not screaming.
500
00:20:47,791 --> 00:20:49,761
Maybe it just seemed
that way 'cause somebody
501
00:20:49,793 --> 00:20:52,930
just got certified
pre-owned hearing aids.
502
00:20:52,964 --> 00:20:54,631
Used hearing aids?
503
00:20:54,665 --> 00:20:57,435
That's disgusting.
504
00:20:57,467 --> 00:20:59,403
You know, if you snuck up
behind an old guy
505
00:20:59,428 --> 00:21:01,497
to take them, they don't work.
506
00:21:01,539 --> 00:21:04,442
No, I got them from
a very fine pawnshop,
507
00:21:04,474 --> 00:21:06,511
and they work fantastically.
508
00:21:06,543 --> 00:21:08,713
Can you hear this?
509
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:10,748
Yes.
510
00:21:10,781 --> 00:21:13,451
Can you hear this? Old goat says what?
511
00:21:13,483 --> 00:21:16,371
Yes, I can hear it. Move.
512
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:18,622
And with this gizmo,
513
00:21:18,656 --> 00:21:20,791
I can also turn them all the way down
514
00:21:20,824 --> 00:21:23,682
so I don't have to hear any of this.
515
00:21:23,707 --> 00:21:25,737
Now, tell me, Jackie, how was your day?
38490
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