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23.976
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Ooh! Careful, Homer!
3
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There's no time. We're late.
4
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O little town of Bethlehem
5
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O little town of Bethlehem
6
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How still we see the elie
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-Excuse me. Pardon me.
8
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- Sorry. Excuse me.
- Hey, Norman, how's it goin'?
9
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,739
So you got dragged down here
too, huh?
10
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- How you doin', Fred?
- Sorry. Excuse me.
11
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- Yeah. 'Scuse me. Oh!
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Pardon my galoshes.
13
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Are met in thee tonight
14
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Wasn't that wonderful?
15
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And now
"Santas of many lands,"
16
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,055
as presented by the entire
second grade class.
17
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,683
Oh! Lisa's class.
18
00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,060
Frohliche Weihnachten.
19
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,688
That's German for
" Merry Christmas."
20
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:08,193
In Germany, Santa's servant Ruprecht
gives presents to good children...
21
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:11,446
and whipping rods
to the parents of bad ones.
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00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,743
Merry Kurisumasu.
23
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:22,207
I am Hotseiosha, a japanese priest
who acts like Santa Claus.
24
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I have eyes
in the back ofmy head...
25
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:28,172
so children better behave
when I'm nearby.
26
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:33,468
Now presenting Lisa Simpson...
27
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as Tawanga, the Santa Claus
of the South Seas.
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Ooh, it's Lisa! That's ours.
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Ah, the fourth grade
will now favor us with a melody--
30
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Uh, medley
of holiday "flavorites."
31
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,501
Dashing through the snow
32
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,003
In a one-horse open sleigh
33
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O'er the fields we go
34
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Laughing all the way
Ha ha ha
35
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,384
Bells on bobtail ring
36
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- Isn't Bart sweet, Homer?
37
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He sings like an angel.
38
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:24,478
Oh, jingle bells
Batman smells
39
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,480
Robin laid an egg
40
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,690
The Batmobile
broke its wheel
41
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,984
The joker got awa--
42
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,195
Jingle bells
Jingle bells
43
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Jingle all
44
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The fifth grade will now favour us...
45
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with a scene from Charles, uh, Dickens'
A Christmas Carol.
46
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How many grades does this school have?
47
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,921
" Dear friends of the Simpson family,
48
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:54,174
"We had some sadness and
some gladness this year.
49
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,677
" First, the sadness.
Our little cat Snowball...
50
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:59,930
"was unexpectedly run over
and went to kitty heaven.
51
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:02,599
"But we bought
a new little cat, Snowball I.
52
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,435
"So I guess life goes on.
53
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:10,232
"Speaking of life going on,
Grandpa's still with us, feisty as ever.
54
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,234
" Maggie is walking by herself,
55
00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:15,946
"Lisa got straight A's,
and Bart--
56
00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:18,448
"Well, we love Bart.
57
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:21,451
"The magic of the season
has touched us all.
58
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,745
Marge, haven't you finished
that stupid letter yet?
59
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,999
- " Homer sends his love. Happy holidays.
- Marge!
60
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,418
- The Simpsons."
- Marge, where's the extension cord?
61
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:32,296
For heaven's sake, Homer.
It's in the utility drawer.
62
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,798
Sorry. I'm just a big kid.
63
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,176
And I love Christmas
so much.
64
00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:41,305
D'oh!
65
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,473
All right, children,
let me have those letters.
66
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,435
I'll send them to Santa's workshop
at the North Pole.
67
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,478
Oh, please. There's only
one fat guy that brings us presents,
68
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,480
and his name ain't Santa.
69
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,817
Uh-- A pony?
70
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,487
Oh, Lisa, you've asked for that
for the last three years,
71
00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:01,116
and I keep telling you Santa can't
fit a pony into his sleigh.
72
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,118
Can't you take a hint?
73
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,120
But I really want a pony,
74
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,415
- and I've been really good this year.
- Oh, dear.
75
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,251
Maybe Bart is
a little more realistic.
76
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:13,212
- A tattoo?
- A what?
77
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,631
Yeah! They're cool, and they last
the rest of your life.
78
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:18,425
you will not be getting
a tattoo for Christmas.
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00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,720
Yeah. If you want one, you'll have
to pay for it out of your allowance.
80
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,222
- All right!
- Homer!
81
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:25,224
- "Yello."
82
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,226
- Marge, please.
- Who's this?
83
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,228
May I please speak to Marge?
84
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:32,147
- This is her sister, isn't it?
- Is Marge there?
85
00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:35,651
- Who shall I say is calling?
- Marge, please.
86
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,946
It's your sister.
Oh!
87
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,532
- Hello.
- Hello, Marge. It's Patty.
88
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:46,119
Selma and I couldn't be more excited
about seeing our sister Christmas Eve.
89
00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:50,249
Well, Homer and I are looking
forward to your visit too.
90
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,711
Somehow I doubt
that Homer is excited.
91
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,713
of all the men
you could've married,
92
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,716
I don't know why you picked
one who's always so rude to us.
93
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,135
- Good one, Dad.
94
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,930
Okay, kids,
prepare to be dazzled.
95
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,724
Marge, turn on the juice!
96
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,646
- What do you think, kids?
97
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,648
- Nice try, Dad.
98
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,942
Just hold
your horses, son. Hey, Simpson!
99
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,821
- What is it, Flanders?
- Do you think this looks okay?
100
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:24,616
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
101
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,118
- Oh!
- Oh, neato!
102
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,662
It's too bright.
103
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,039
I oughta-- Flanders.
What a big show-off.
104
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,670
- Kids, wanna go Christmas shopping?
- I do!
105
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,214
- All right! The mall!
- Go get your money.
106
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,551
Tell us, Marge. Where have
you been hiding the Christmas money?
107
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,345
Oh, I have my secrets.
108
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,472
Turn around.
109
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- you can look now.
- Ooh! Big jar this year.
110
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,667
Oh, Bart,
that's so sweet.
111
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,170
It's the best present
a mother could get,
112
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,714
and it makes you look
so dangerous.
113
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,552
- One " Mother," please.
114
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,554
Wait a minute.
How old are you?
115
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,681
- Twenty-one, sir.
- Get in the chair.
116
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,856
Mm-hmm.
117
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,859
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
118
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,862
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
119
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,573
Attention,
all personnel, please keep working...
120
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,575
during the following
announcement.
121
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:52,162
And now our boss and friend
Mr. Burns.
122
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,581
Hello. I'm proud to announce...
123
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:57,584
that we've been able to increase
safety here at the plant...
124
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,878
without increasing the cost
to the consumer...
125
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:02,172
or affecting management
payraises.
126
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:05,259
However, for you
semiskilled workers,
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00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,261
there will be
no Christmas bonuses.
128
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:10,889
- Oh, and one more thing.
129
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,891
Merry Christmas!
130
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,478
- Oh, thank God for the big jar.
131
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,775
- Where's that Bart?
132
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:31,869
But, Mom,
I thought you'd like it.
133
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,456
Yes, Mrs. Simpson, we can remove
your son's tattoo.
134
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,959
It's a simple routine
involving lasers.
135
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,378
- Cool!
- However, it is rather expensive,
136
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:44,173
and we must insist
on a cash payment up front.
137
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,383
- Cash?
- Mm-hmm.
138
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,386
Thank God for
Homer's Christmas bonus.
139
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,766
- Ay, caramba!
- Now, whatever you do, don't squirm.
140
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:58,896
you don't wanna get this sucker
near your eye or your groin.
141
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:04,568
- Ow! Quit it.
142
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,570
Ow! Quit it.
143
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,572
Ow! Quit it.
144
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,074
- Ow! Quit it.
- Hey, what's with this?
145
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:14,870
Ow! Quit it!
Used to be a real boss tattoo.
146
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:18,290
Mom had to spend the Christmas money
having it surgically removed.
147
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,084
Huh?
148
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:25,214
It's true!
149
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:28,967
The jar is empty!
Oh, my God!
150
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,428
We're ruined.
Christmas is canceled.
151
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,597
No presents for anyone!
152
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:37,434
Don't worry, Homer. We'll just
have to stretch your Christmas bonus...
153
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,770
- even further this year.
154
00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:42,981
- Homer?
- Oh, yeah. My Christmas bonus.
155
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,776
How silly of me.
156
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,904
This'll be the best
Christmas yet.
157
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,906
The best any family
ever had.
158
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,620
Hohoho.
159
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,790
Hohoho.
160
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,627
Hohoho.
161
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,131
Ho ho ho.
162
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,133
Hohoho.
163
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:16,431
Hmm. I get the feeling there's
something you haven't told me, Homer.
164
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:20,227
- Huh? Oh. I love you, Marge.
- you tell me that all the time.
165
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,437
Oh, good,
because I do love you.
166
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:25,607
I don't deserve you as much
as a guy with a fat wallet...
167
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,485
and a credit card that won't
set off that horrible beeping.
168
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,822
I think it does have something
to do with your Christmas bonus.
169
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,824
I keep asking for it,
but--
170
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,411
Marge, um,
let me be honest with you.
171
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:41,665
- Yes?
- Well, I would--
172
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:48,130
I-- I wanna do
the Christmas shopping this year.
173
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,799
Uh, sure, okay.
174
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,931
Marge, Marge. Hmm. Let'ssee.
175
00:09:58,015 --> 00:10:00,225
Ooh, look!
176
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,729
Pantyhose.
Practical and alluring.
177
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:07,107
A six-pack.
Oh! Only 4.99.
178
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,318
Ooh! Pads of paper.
179
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,613
I bet Bart can think of
a million things to do with these.
180
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:16,116
That just leaves
little Maggie. Oh, look!
181
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,202
A little squeak toy.
182
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:21,205
It says it's for dogs,
but she can't read.
183
00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:25,334
Ow! Oh, Simpson,
it's you.
184
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:29,004
- Hello, Flanders.
- Oh, my! What a mess we've got here.
185
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,507
Well, which ones are yours
and which ones are mine?
186
00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:34,801
- Well, let's see.
- Oh, this one's mine. This one's mine.
187
00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,429
- This one's mine, and this--
- They're all yours!
188
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:40,599
- Hey, you dropped your pork chop.
189
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:44,311
- Gimme that!
- Well, happy holidays, Simpson.
190
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:48,941
- Gee, this is the best Christmas ever.
- You bet.
191
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:02,538
What's the matter, Homer? Somebody
leave a lump of coal in your stocking?
192
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,831
You've been sitting there,
sucking on a beer all day long.
193
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:07,209
- So?
- So, it's Christmas.
194
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:11,004
- Thanks, Moe.
195
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,006
Drinks all around!
196
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,008
What's with
the crazy getup, Barn?
197
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:19,680
I got me a part-timejob
working as a Santa down at the mall.
198
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,640
Wow! Can I do that?
199
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,518
I don't know. They're
pretty selective.
200
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,520
Do you like children?
201
00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:29,940
What do you mean? All the time?
Even when they're nuts?
202
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,527
- Hmm.
- Uh, I certainly do.
203
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,529
Welcome aboard, Simpson.
204
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:38,282
Pending your successful completion
of our training program, that is.
205
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:41,535
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
206
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:44,538
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
207
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:47,708
- What is it now, Simpson?
- Uh, when do we get paid?
208
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:51,378
Not a dime till Christmas Eve!
Now, from the top.
209
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:55,340
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
210
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:58,343
Um, Dasher.
211
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,054
- Dancer.
- Mm-hmm.
212
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,223
- Prancer.
- Mm-hmm.
213
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,225
Nixon.
214
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,645
Comet and... Cupid.
215
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,647
- Donna Dixon?
- Sit down, Simpson.
216
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,649
And what would you like,
little boy?
217
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,152
- You're not really Santa, tubby.
- Why, you little egghead!
218
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,863
No, Homer! If such
an emergency arises,
219
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,741
you just tell them
Santa's vey busy this time of year,
220
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:24,453
- and you are one of his helpers.
- Oh, I knew that one too!
221
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,958
Homer, why are you
seven hours late?
222
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,961
Not a word, Marge.
I'm heading straight for the tub.
223
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,963
But, Homer,
my sisters are here.
224
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,174
- Don't you wanna say hello?
225
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:42,346
- Daddy! We're so glad to see you!
- Oh, Dad, you're finally home!
226
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:45,849
What? Why?
Oh, yeah.
227
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,560
Hello, Patty.
Hello, Selma.
228
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,979
- How was your trip?
- Fine.
229
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:53,273
- you both look well.
- Thank you.
230
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:56,568
- Yeah, well, Merry Christmas.
- It's Christmas?
231
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,446
- you wouldn't know it around here.
- And why is that?
232
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:03,575
- For one thing, there's no tree
- I was just on my way out to get one!
233
00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:05,369
- Can we go too, Dad?
- Yeah, can we?
234
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,662
No!
235
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:09,373
Sleighbells ring
236
00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:12,000
Are you listening
237
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,753
In the lane
238
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,381
Snow is glistening
239
00:13:17,381 --> 00:13:20,759
A beautiful sight
240
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,762
We're happy tonight
241
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:27,349
- Walking in a winter wonderland
242
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,271
Hey! What do you think you're doin'?
243
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,273
- Uh-oh.
- Hey! Hey!
244
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,441
- Come back here!
245
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,447
So what do you think, kids?
Beauty, isn't it?
246
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:45,409
- Wow! Yay, Dad!
- Way to go, Dad!
247
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:49,246
- Why is there a birdhouse in it?
- Uh, that's an ornament.
248
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:51,707
Do I smell gunpowder?
249
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:54,543
and then I want some Robotoids.
250
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,753
And then I want
a Goop Monster.
251
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,755
And then I want
a great big, giant--
252
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,757
Aw, son, you don't need
all that junk.
253
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:04,011
I'm sure you've already
got something much more important--
254
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:08,599
a decent home and a loving father
who would do anything for you.
255
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:11,393
Hey, I couldn't afford lunch.
Give me a bite of that donut.
256
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,273
Get a load of that
quote-unquote Santa.
257
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:18,609
I can't believe those kids
are falling for it.
258
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:20,777
Hey, Milhouse, I dare you
to sit on his lap.
259
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:25,407
- I dare you to yank his beard off.
- Ah, touche.
260
00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,409
I hope you feel better,
Santa.
261
00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:29,953
Oh, I will when Mrs. Claus' sisters
get outta town.
262
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,955
Thanks for listenin', kid.
263
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,959
Hey, Santa,
what's shakin', man?
264
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:39,796
What's your name, Bart... ner?
Uh, little partner?
265
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:43,091
- I'm Bart Simpson. Who are you?
- I'm jolly Old St. Nick.
266
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:45,594
Oh, yeah?
We'll just see about that.
267
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,305
D'oh!
268
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:52,184
- Homer!
- A word with you in Santa's workshop.
269
00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:55,604
- Cover for me, Elfie.
- I didn't know it was you.
270
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,689
Nobody knows.
It's a secret.
271
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,691
I didn't get my bonus this year.
272
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,985
But to keep the family
from missing out on Christmas,
273
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:03,904
- I'd do anything.
- I'll say, Dad.
274
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:07,199
you must really love us
to sink so low.
275
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,494
Now, let's not get mushy, son.
276
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,621
I still have a job to do.
277
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,623
Hey, little ones. Santa's back.
278
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,708
Ho ho-- D'oh!
279
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:19,586
Damn it to--
280
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,922
Ah, son, one day
you're gonna know...
281
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,924
the satisfaction of payday.
282
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:27,302
Receiving a big fat check
for a job well done.
283
00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:29,304
Simpson, Homer?
Here ya go.
284
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:33,892
Come on, son. Let's go cash
this baby and get presents for--
285
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:36,812
Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute.
286
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,814
That's right.
$120 gross.
287
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,816
Less Social Security,
less unemployment insurance,
288
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,901
- less Santa training...
- Santa training?
289
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,903
less costume purchase,
less beard rental, less Christmas club.
290
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,114
- But-- But--
- See ya next year.
291
00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:50,325
- Ohh!
- Come on, Dad. Let's go home.
292
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,286
Thirteen bucks?
293
00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:54,621
you can't get anything
for 13 bucks.
294
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,749
Allright!
Thirteen bigones!
295
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,918
Springfield Downs,
here I come!
296
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:02,254
- What?
- you heard me.
297
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,256
I'm goin' to the dog track.
298
00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,300
I got a hot little puppy
in the fourth race.
299
00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:08,427
- Wanna come?
- Sory, Barney.
300
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:11,763
I may be a total washout as a father,
but I'm not gonna take my kid...
301
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,099
to a sleazy dog track
on Christmas Eve.
302
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,936
Come on, Simpson.
The dog's name is Whirlwind.
303
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,439
Ten-to-one shot.
Money in the bank.
304
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,441
- Uh-uh.
- Ah, come on, Dad.
305
00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:25,319
This can be the miracle that
saves the Simpsons' Christmas.
306
00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:27,321
If TV has taught me anything,
307
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:30,449
it's that miracles always
happen to poor kids at Christmas.
308
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:34,244
It happened to Tiny Tim,
it happened to Charlie Brown,
309
00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,288
it happened to the Smurfs
and it's gonna happen to us.
310
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:41,460
Well, okay, let's go.
Who's Tiny Tim?
311
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,005
Hey, Moldy, do you
think Santa will be able to find...
312
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,466
ElfCounty
under all this snow?
313
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:52,262
I doubt it, Bubbles. We'll be
sad little elves this Christmas.
314
00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:54,264
- Oh, no!
- Oh, brother.
315
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,350
- Where's your husband?
- Yeah. It's getting late.
316
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,019
Said he went caroling
with Bart.
317
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:03,023
We're in the money,
we're in the money
318
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:06,360
We got a lot of
what it takes to get along
319
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,529
I can't believe
I'm doing this.
320
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:11,657
Can we open
our presents now, Dad?
321
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,701
you know the tradition, son.
Not till the eighth race.
322
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,037
Hey, Barney,
which one is Whirlwind?
323
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:21,041
Number Six. That's our lucky dog
right over there.
324
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,627
He's won
his last five races.
325
00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:26,129
What? That scrawny little
bag of bones?
326
00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:28,841
Come on, Dad. They're all
scrawny little bags of bones.
327
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:31,343
Yeah, you're right.
328
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:34,763
I guess Whirlwind is our only hope
for a Merry Christmas.
329
00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:37,140
Attention,
racing fans, we have a late scratch...
330
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,142
in the fourth race.
331
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:42,229
Number 8, Sir Galahad will be
replaced by Santa's Little Helper.
332
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:46,358
Once again, Sir Galahad has been
replaced by Santa's Little Helper.
333
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,443
Bart, did you hear that?
334
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,445
What a name!
Santa's Little Helper!
335
00:17:50,529 --> 00:17:54,366
- It's a sign! It's an omen!
- It's a coincidence, Dad.
336
00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:57,452
- What are the odds on Santa's Little
Helper? - Ninety-nine to one.
337
00:17:57,536 --> 00:18:03,166
Wow! Ninety-nine times
thirteen equals... Merry Christmas!
338
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,169
I got a bad feeling
about this.
339
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,129
- Don't you believe in me, son?
- Uh--
340
00:18:07,296 --> 00:18:10,299
Come on, boy. Sometimes your faith
is all that keeps me going.
341
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:15,304
Oh, go for it, Dad.
342
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:19,141
That's my boy! Eveything on
Santa's Little Helper.
343
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,560
Three cheers for Brainy!
344
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,146
- Hip hip hooray!
- Yay!
345
00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:26,148
Unadulterated pap.
346
00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:28,734
It's almost 9:00.
Where's Homer anyway?
347
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:31,737
It's so typical
of the big doof us to spoil it all.
348
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:34,031
- What, Aunt Patty?
- Oh, nothing, dear.
349
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,158
I'm just trashing
your father.
350
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,160
Well, I wish you wouldn't...
351
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:42,539
because aside from the fact he has
the same frailties as all human belings.
352
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,541
he's the only father I have.
353
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:47,336
Therefore, he is
my model of manhood,
354
00:18:47,503 --> 00:18:51,840
and my estimation of him will govern
the prospects of my adult relationships.
355
00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:55,677
So I hope you bear in mind that
any knock at him is a knock at me,
356
00:18:55,677 --> 00:19:00,057
and I'm far too young to defend
myself against such onslaughts.
357
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:04,353
Mm-hmm. Go watch
your cartoon show, dear.
358
00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:06,355
Come on, Bart.
359
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:09,191
Kiss the ticket for good luck,
not that we need it.
360
00:19:12,528 --> 00:19:14,863
Here comes
Screwy the mechanical rabbit.
361
00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,490
- and they're off!
362
00:19:16,532 --> 00:19:19,743
- Come on, Santa's Little Helper!
- Come on, dog! Go, man, go!
363
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,996
It's Whirlwind in the lane, and
coming up on the left is Quadruped,
364
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:25,207
followed by Dog O'War
and Fido.
365
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:28,252
- Go! Come on, boy!
- Go! Come on, get that rabbit!
366
00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:30,879
Dog O'War coming up fast
on the outside.
367
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,006
- Come on, Santa's Little Helper!
- Come on, dog! Go, man, go!
368
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:36,260
And with a lock on last place,
it's Santa's Little Helper.
369
00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:40,097
- Don't worry, Dad.
370
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:43,392
Maybe this is just for suspense
before the miracle happens.
371
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:46,895
- Come on, you stupid dog! Come on!
- Go, go!
372
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:49,189
- Run! Run!
- Run, run! Come on, get that rabbit!
373
00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:51,984
- Go, go, Santa's Little Helper! Run!
- Go, go, go!
374
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:56,280
Whirlwind by a countrymile, second,
ChewMyShoe, followed by Dog O'War.
375
00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:58,782
Oh, jeez!
376
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:02,202
Doesn't seem possible,
but I guess TV has betrayed me.
377
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,788
I don't wanna leave
till our dog finishes.
378
00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:11,879
Ah, forget it.
Let's go.
379
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:23,807
- Find any winners, son?
- Sory, Dad.
380
00:20:23,891 --> 00:20:26,894
Hey, hey, Simpson!
What'dl tell you?
381
00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:30,189
Whirlwind!
Let's go, Daria.
382
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:38,071
Beat it! Scram! Get lost!
383
00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:40,908
- you came in last for the last time!
384
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,285
Look, Dad, it's
Santa's Little Helper.
385
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,288
And don't come back!
386
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,874
Oh, no, you don't! No, no!
Get away from me! Uh-uh!
387
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,671
Oh, can we keep him,
Dad, please?
388
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:58,091
But he's a loser!
He's pathetic! He's--
389
00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:02,221
A Simpson.
390
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:07,893
Hmm. Maybe I should
call the police.
391
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:11,230
- Oh, he'll sober up.
- Yeah. Come staggering home.
392
00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:13,482
Mm-hmm.
Smelling of cheap perfume.
393
00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:15,734
- Homer!
394
00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:18,403
- What? What the-- Who the--
- Look, eveybody,
395
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:22,074
- I have a confession to make.
- This should be good.
396
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:24,576
I didn't get
my Christmas bonus.
397
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:27,412
I tried not to let it
ruin Christmas for eveybody,
398
00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:29,414
but no matter
what I did--
399
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:33,043
- Hey, eveybody, lookwhat we got!
400
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,921
A dog!
All right, Dad!
401
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:39,925
- God bless him.
- So love at first sight is possible.
402
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:42,594
And if he runs away,
he'll be easy to catch.
403
00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:44,805
Oh,
this is the best gift of all, Homer!
404
00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:47,599
- It is? -
Yes. Something to share our love...
405
00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:49,601
and frighten prowlers.
406
00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,937
- What's his name?
- Number 8--
407
00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:54,731
I mean, Santa's Little Helper.
408
00:22:08,287 --> 00:22:10,998
Rudolph the red-nosed
reindeer
409
00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:14,251
Had a very shiny nose
410
00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:17,129
And if you ever saw it
411
00:22:17,254 --> 00:22:20,299
- you would even say it glows
- Like a light bulb!
412
00:22:20,299 --> 00:22:23,302
-Bart!
- All of the other reindeer
413
00:22:23,302 --> 00:22:25,304
Used to laugh
and call him names
414
00:22:25,304 --> 00:22:27,306
- Like Shnozzola!
-Lisa!
415
00:22:27,306 --> 00:22:29,641
They never let poor Rudolph
416
00:22:29,725 --> 00:22:32,519
- Join in any reindeergames
-Like strippoker!
417
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:36,023
-I'm warning you two!
- Then one foggy Christmas Eve
418
00:22:36,148 --> 00:22:39,151
- Santa came to say
- Take it, Homer!
419
00:22:39,151 --> 00:22:42,654
Uh, Rudolph get your nose over here
420
00:22:42,738 --> 00:22:46,241
- So you can guide my sleigh today
- Oh, Homer.
421
00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:49,119
Then all the reindeer
loved him
422
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,247
and they shouted out
with glee
423
00:22:52,331 --> 00:22:55,125
Rudolph the red-nosed
reindeer
424
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:58,837
You'll go down in history
425
00:22:58,837 --> 00:23:00,422
-Like Attila the Hu--
- You little--
426
00:23:04,134 --> 00:23:06,053
Shh.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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