Original subtitles

# Wistful piano

You're a fool, Alfred Polly.

You wanted a life and you settled for just a living.

I'll kill myself.

Yeah. Yeah, why not?

My life is insured.

The place is insured.

Miriam won't miss me. She'd be better off.

Needn't hurt much.

One quick flick of the razor.

Over and done with.

I'll kill myself.

How did it ever come to this?

Might have been all right once.

Might have been happy.

Stargazing won't get you far in life, Alfred.

But there's so many.

Look.

There's Orion, the hunter, with his dogs.

Those three stars are called Alnitak, Alnilam and Mintaka.

They make up Orion's Belt.

And the other fainter stars are his sword.

You look all you want.

A dictionary?

I like words, sir.

Come out here.

If we can't beat the facts in,

we can beat the daydreaming out.

Sir.

Polly.

Come to the front.

You know your mother has been ill.

I'm sorry to say that she is dead.

In the circumstances, you may go home early today.

I wish I had nothing better to do than sit and look at the stars.

When are you ever going to grow up?

You think life's an 'oliday?

Well, you'll soon know better.

Aaah!

Oh, you saved me.

How strong you are, Mr Polly.

Oh, please call me Alfred.

Gloves, Polly.

What?

Gloves, Polly!

What?

Shakespeare?

In Gentlemen's Outfitting?

A national poet, Mr Mansfield.

Eloquent verboojuice.

Sesquippledan articulariousness.

You need to pull your socks up.

Forward, Polly. Look sharp.

One potato, two potato, three potato, four,

five potato, six potato, seven potato, more.

One potato, two potato, three potato, four,

five potato, six potato...

Cousin Alfred.

You'd best prepare yourself.

Your father took to his bed with a poorly stomach.

The doctor said it was all in his imagination.

He put "appendicitis" on the death certificate, though.

He never complained. He was really quite cheerful at the end.

He was never what you'd call "happy".

He had a rotten time of it.

Now it's over.

You think life's an 'oliday?

Well, you'll soon know better.

You can't let your father go to his grave without asking a few friends.

You don't want a crowd.

Just the immediate relations.

He hated our relations.

Cold ham and chicken is very suitable for the supper.

Funereal baked meats.

Not baked.

You don't want a lot of cooking with a ceremony in the middle of it.

I suppose you've got to put him away, somehow.

I wish I'd looked him up a bit more when he was alive.

Here's your Aunt Larkins.

Oh, I should have known him anywhere.

Mother!

She never set eyes on him before.

And these are your cousins.

Here's Annie.

And that's Minnie.

And there's Miriam.

Why!

It's Uncle Pentstemon.

- Have you nailed him I have.

You always were a little ahead of what was needful.

It's Mr Voules!

Come to pay my respects, Mrs Johnson, like a good Christian.

A sad business.

Ooh.

Ooh, don't these girls look well in black.

There's a lovely girl!

There's a lovely girl!

There's a lovely girl!

But there's the loveliest Larkin of all!

- Ha! - Oh!

Ooh!

- Sandwiches. - Lovely.

Do move over, Millie.

It's a squeeze, innit, Alfred?

- I don't mind a squeeze. - Ooh!

You're a puny young chap.

A clerk, are you?

An outfitter.

These two pretend to be dressmakers.

They are dressmakers.

Will they hold to it?

Does they go out to work in a factory?

I won't have my girls spoken about, not by nobody, young or old.

Oh, that sherry's rising.

Must be grocer's stuff, I reckon.

Lord! I should have been back at the shop three days ago.

There'll be no end of a row.

You are a one. You'll get the chuck.

So what if I do?

I'll die.

I don't believe you care a bit.

"I am the resurrection and the life," sayeth the Lord.

He that believeth in me,

though he were dead, yet shall he live.

And whosoever liveth and believeth in me

shall never die.

We therefore commit the body of William Polly to the ground.

Earth to earth.

Ashes to ashes.

Dust to dust.

In the sure and certain hope of the resurrection,

of eternal life.

Amen.

Insurance?

�350.

Including his savings.

All yours.

So I'm rich.

Well, not rich, exactly, but it's a tidy sum.

There's no end of things you could do with �350.

There's building societies, for one thing.

Well, I'm no sort of financania.

Then you might do worse than put it into a small shop.

For a man who sticks to it, there's a lot to be done in a shop.

I'll give it some thought.

Weigh up my options.

There's a gentlemen's outfitters down the way. Might be just the thing.

A very nice situation.

An outfitters?

"Stick with what you know. " That's my motto.

After all, you can't stay on holiday for ever.

Shall I enquire about the lease?

All in good time, my man. All in good time.

Ha ha!

Hey! Watch out!

No, no, the other way. No, no!

Coming through! Sorry.

Cousin Alfred!

Explorations menanderings.

I thought I'd look you up.

Ma! Ma!

Cousin Alfred has come calling!

Oh!

I didn't know you rode a bicycle.

How bright it is!

- It's plated. - Plated.

Fancy!

It's my cleaning-up day.

I'm not a bit tidy, but I do like to have a go at things, now and then.

They'd leave everything if I let 'em.

I am glad to see you again.

I couldn't keep away.

I had to come and see my pretty cousins again.

You do say things.

I won't say which of 'em.

You'd better come in.

What will Ma think, us standing out here, talking on the doorstep?

She'll get ideas.

- Who am I going to sit next to? - Oh, well, er...

All of you.

- Sponge cake, Alfred? - Perhaps a sandwich?

- A cup of tea? - Thank you, Annie.

We are glad to see you again, Alfred.

- It's good to be here. - It was a lovely funeral.

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed myself so much.

Handsome rings, Annie.

Oh!

They ain't real. I got 'em out of a prize packet.

- Oh, a prize packet in trousers? - You are a one!

I'm sure I don't know what you mean.

He means, "Have you got an admirer, Annie?"

I don't have no admirer.

Well, some people have been remiss about their chances.

They haven't had any chances.

I don't believe in making myself too free with people. Not like some I could mention.

Oh, dear. Have a bit of sugar.

Oh!

Alfred, let me give you your jacket.

Here you go.

Minnie, mind, out of the way.

Aw!

Bye-bye.

Oh.

Do come and see us again soon, won't you, Alfred?

Bye.

- Bye! - Bye!

Bye-bye.

Bye, Alfred.

Uh.

Ooh. Uh.

Oh.

Goodness!

Sorry.

Please. Wait.

Apologies if I'm intrudaceous.

I thought you might be a teacher.

The wood is out of bounds, you see. In term time, anyway.

But it is the holidays.

Well, come down, then. Holidays are different.

I think I'll stay on the wall.

So long as some of me is in bounds.

I was just sitting here in melancholic retrospectaciousness.

You talk in a most peculiar way.

It's sweet.

Shouldn't you be at work?

Holidays.

I might go back to work next month.

I might leave it till next year.

Gosh. You must be rich.

Worth hundreds.

My parents have got thousands.

They own India.

Well, most of it.

You make me feel like one of those chivalrous old knights,

that rode around looking for dragons and beautiful maidens.

Why?

Beautiful maiden, up there, in your tower.

And here I am...

A brave warrior.

Clad in steel.

Ready to absquatulate all the dragons!

And rescue you!

Run away with me.

But we don't even know each other's names.

I suppose yours must be...

Gawain or Galahad.

Alfred.

I can't possibly call you Sir Alfred.

- Well, Polly, then. - That's a girl's name.

I wish it were.

One particular girl, anyway.

Yours is the prettiest name in the world.

How do you know?

Bound to be.

It is rather pretty.

It's Christabel.

I knew it! There is love at first sight.

The dragons!

Sir Knight! You may come again tomorrow.

Kind sir!

You may kiss a finger.

I thought you might not come.

A lady never breaks her promise to her faithful knight.

Listen, Christabel,

will you wait a year or two for me?

You're just a girl, yet. I mean, it won't be hard.

Speak on, Sir Knight.

I've been dilletentytating about until now, but...

But I could work, make something of the money I've got.

I'll stop trifling and shirking.

Don't.

Please don't.

Don't go on like this.

You're different.

Go on being the knight with his fair lady.

But I'm... I'm not a knight.

I'm just a human man.

One who loves you more than anything in the world.

You're not being funny any more.

I'm laying my heart at your feet.

A tart? Why a tart?

Not a tart, you nitwit. His heart.

You've got someone back there.

You filthy little beasts!

No, please!

- Ow! Stop it! - Ouch! Mercy, Christabel!

It's just you were right.

He's so silly.

Aaargh!

Uhh!

Uhh.

Oh, you fool.

You...

You bloody fool!

Alfred!

It's been weeks.

We thought you'd forgotten us. Oh, come in!

What have you been doing to your face?

A bit of a scrape on the bicycle.

You might have stopped me going out with a net with a broken handle.

Cut my bleeding fingers all the way home.

Alfred.

Where have you been all this time?

Have you found a shop yet?

One or two likely ones.

I don't want to be too precipitous.

Like choosing a husband.

I kept Larkins hesitating for two years, I did.

I hope my girls keep their men waiting, when the time comes.

Your face.

All rough it is.

Come here.

You ought to be cold-creamed.

Well...

Why not?

Why not what?

Why not...

.. buy a shop?

You've been saying that for weeks.

I could be happy in a shop.

If I had the right company.

I'll have a cat in the window.

A tabby. A cat is no good if it's not a tabby.

Oh, I like cats. I'm always saying to Ma, "I wish we had a cat. "

And a canary.

A cat and a canary. They seem to go.

At breakfast, the sun streaming through the window.

The cat on a chair. The canary singing. Mrs Polly frying up a bit of bacon.

Mrs Polly? And who shall she be?

A figment of the imagination. Put in to fill the picture. No face as yet.

You will have it nice.

Oh, rather!

Ding-a-ling! A shop.

A smart little shop. A counter. A desk.

All complete.

I wonder you don't set about it right off.

Oh, I mean to get it exactly right.

I shall have a cat first.

You never mean anything you say.

I might get 'em together, shop, cat and canary, all thrown in.

You mean...

shop... cat...

.. and Mrs Polly?

A little dog. Eating my bicycle tyre.

Cor! I thought my bike was on fire.

A little dog.

There ain't a little dog anywhere.

No.

You're a rum 'un, ain't you?

Was all that just talk about the shop, then?

Hm? No. Not a bit of it.

You were saying something about the right sort of company.

Oh, I shall get that, all right.

In fact, I've got my eye on someone right this minute.

Oh, Alfred.

You and me, in a little shop, Miriam.

I mean... Just supposing...

You don't mean you're in love with me?

Of course.

I didn't dream you cared. At first, I thought Annie, then Minnie.

Oh, no, I always liked you... better than them.

Well, I've loved you, ever since I first met you at your poor father's funeral.

Leastways, I would have done, only you never seemed to mean anything you said.

I can't believe it.

Nor me.

Don't tell anyone for a bit though, eh?

Only Mother.

I can't help feeling you've been rash, old man.

Still, with luck, it might turn out for the best.

Oh, don't take her from me yet!

Here she is, all shipshape and Bristol fashion.

Your department now.

What a silly man you are.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God

and in the face of this congregation...

.. to join together this man and woman in holy matrimony,

which is an honourable estate,

instituted by God.

Wilt thou love her,

comfort her, honour her

and keep her

in sickness and in health?

Say, "I will. "

I will.

Don't...

Women is a toss-up.

You don't know what you've got until you gets 'em home.

Grizzlers, that's the worse.

If ever I had a grizzler,

I'd up and pick summat up and hit her on the head with it.

A bit sharp.

Anyway...

I think I'd like to wish you good luck.

Cos you'll need it.

Another kiss for the bride!

Hello, Mr Polly.

Convivial vociferations.

You'll need to stop that peculiar way of talking now. It won't do in a shop.

Oh!

The rice Uncle Voules must have bought!

Pounds and pounds of it.

Ain't you going to kiss me, then?

Oh, mind my hat.

Bye!

It's rather small.

And a bit out of the way. There won't be much passing trade.

You'll have to beat them back with a stick.

When they see my new stock, there'll be no holding 'em.

It all came to a lot of money.

It's the height of London fashion.

Fishbourne isn't London.

Whatever made you choose it? I wish you'd asked me first.

I just had a fancy for it.

Morning!

It's a good place to do business.

Our new lives.

Bacon for breakfast, muffins for tea and long walks in the country of a Sunday morning.

It doesn't look well to go traipsing in the country on Sundays.

There's people watching.

It's none of their business.

Oh! Oh, if you must!

It's a new skirt, mind.

Feet first or head first?

Not the head. Feet.

Well, there's too many stairs.

And the coal being indoors will mean a lot of work.

I never thought of that.

This will show the dirt something fearful.

I suppose it'll be all right with a bit of a clean.

I'll soon have it put to rights.

Ha!

- It's bracing, isn't it? - The wind cuts right through you.

Come here. I'll keep you warm.

'Ere, there's a time and place for that.

And I got a blister.

You'll soon walk it off.

Turn it septic, more like.

I'm going back.

What's the point in walking, if you're not going anywhere?

No. Don't. I got it! Ha ha!

Thank you.

A fine day.

Good weather never did much for business.

Zealacious commerciality.

Cor!

A cycling suit, sir? One pound 15 shillings.

Sir, I just wondered... Do you want a new suit, sir? We're doing free fittings at the moment.

Not machine made. By hand, you know.

Anything in particular you're looking for, sir? A nice new pair of trousers?

How about a whole new suit? Free fittings at the moment.

A new cap? That one needs replacing, doesn't it?

Sir?

Horrible, beastly hole.

What was that, Polly?

You won't find many customers in the pages of a book.

You can't oblige a chap to buy a pair of flannel trousers.

You've got no get up-and-go.

You need more vim.

For goodness' sake!

It's a nice bit of mackerel, that.

Might have been once.

You can't say it isn't cooked.

No, it's... er...

It's done, all right.

Alfred!

You're letting the heat out!

Of all the vertebracious animals, man alone raises his face to the sky.

Oh, man, why avert it?

Eh?

I'm sick of you turning your back on me.

It isn't ordinary civility.

I can't unpack with straw blowing in my eyes.

Yeah, but you needn't do it like a pig rooting for truffles, need you?

Are you calling me a pig?

I'm asking you, civilly, to stop unpacking with your back to me.

"Pig" ain't civil

and you ain't sober.

Careful!

What are you doing? Oh!

Dressing all over the pavement, as if the town belonged to you.

- It ain't safe. - You're going to pay for all this damage.

If anyone is paying, it's you. Compensation for injuries sustained. Look at my bike!

Don't you...

Oww!

Give me that back!

You'll hear of me through a summons.

Human life ain't safe with you.

Yours isn't, at any rate.

Eh?

You're just a load of...

.. sh-sh-shopkeepers!

Always making an exhibition of yourself.

Why can't you just rub along like everyone else?

I'm just having a bit of a turnout.

There's cold pork for your tea

and mixed pickles.

It's your favourite.

Ooh.

What's up with you?

A bit of acid.

That's perfectly good pork.

I never said it wasn't.

You looked at me.

You used to like that.

Me looking at you.

I've no time for your silliness.

Where's my hat?

- Where are you going? - A walk.

You'd do better keeping the shop open.

No customers.

Where's my bloody hat?

It was here this morning.

Nothing ever stays where it's put in this house.

Here's your hat!

Not this old thing. My new one.

I suppose you'd like me to wear this silly mud pie for ever, wouldn't you? Well, I won't.

Tangents. I haven't the patience.

You wanted a shop. You've got a shop. Most men would be pleased.

I'm not "most men".

I'm me!

Well, you should have told me that before you married me. Some might call it "false pretences"!

Oh...!

Stu...

Bankruptcy proceedings?

You never have the sense to get your hair cut until it's too long.

You blighted, degenerated paintbrush!

Oh, what a sight!

I'll kill myself.

Yeah, why not?

My life is insured.

The place is insured.

Miriam won't miss me. She'd be better off.

Needn't hurt much.

One quick flick of the razor.

Over and done with.

- Are you coming to church? - Rather!

Haven't I got a lot to be thankful for?

You've got what you deserve.

I suppose I have.

You'll be all right.

Why did I always stumble into things...

.. submit to everything?

Why did I never insist on the things that were beautiful?

I never sought that.

Never fought for it.

Taken any risks for it.

Died rather than abandon it.

These are the things that matter.

What is a life unless there are things to live for?

Time.

Uh! Aaargh!

Cor!

Cor, it stings like a nettle.

Good God!

Fire! Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Mrs Rumbold.

Mrs Rumbold! Mrs Rumbold!

Fire!

Fire!

- Fire! - Mrs Rumbold!

Oh, God!

She's deaf. The old girl's deaf!

Call the Fire Brigade!

The key? Who's got the key?

- Where's Mr Rumbold? - Out. Visiting. Where's the bloody key?

- Hanging next to the cellar door. - Not there now.

Somebody must have borrowed it.

It's not safe! He's gone in!

Mrs Rumbold!

Mrs Rumbold!

Mrs Rumbold!

- Oooh! - Fire! You've got to get out!

You keep your hands to yourself.

I'm a respectable widow woman.

- You don't understand. The house is on fire! - Who are you calling a liar?

- No. Fire! - Fire?

Why didn't you say so?

Ooh!

Ooh!

- I ain't jumping. - You've got to.

- I ain't jumping. - You've got to. Hold on while I give you a boost!

Why, there's Rumbold! Ooh!

Ooh! Cooee!

- Cooee! - Mother?

Oh-oh-oh!

What's going on? What's happening?

Mother!

I'll sit here and rest.

I'm not the girl I used to be.

Look, you rest here and you'll pop like a chestnut!

- What? - Cor blimey!

A roast chestnut. You'll pop!

Chestnut? I ain't had any chestnuts.

Blimey, there ought to be a limit to this deafness.

I heard that!

I should never have left her on her own.

No point in tormenting yourself.

Count the stairs. One...

two... three...

Oh, my word! Oh, my word!

Ooh! They've both had it now.

What?

Oh! Oh!

The worst fire I was ever in and likely to be my last.

It's an hurrying, scurrying business.

But I'm glad I haven't missed it.

Poor Mother.

She was a good woman, a saint.

- Polly did his best, you've got to grant him that. - Yeah.

He's gone, too.

- No-one could have survived a blaze like that. - They could, you know.

No. - Not a chance, old man. Not a chance.

No point deluding ourselves.

Suppose not.

If only Mother were back with me now.

Here I am, Rumbold.

It's a miracle!

Oh!

Oh, Mother!

I thought you were a goner.

Oh ho ho!

Oh, we've had words in the past, Polly, but I take 'em all back.

I never understood you properly, that's plain.

I never saw the inner man.

Alfred Polly is a hero.

He deserves a medal!

Oh ho ho! Oh ho ho ho!

Oh, Alfred!

The house is on fire. Fire!

Oh, Alfred!

Hey hey hey!

I'll show you to your room.

Oh, here he is, the man of the hour!

Ha ha ha!

Come on. Get this man a drink.

- I rea... - No. You're not going anywhere.

Don't be long.

Give him that. Go on.

- Get that down you. - There we are.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers.

I was going up the stairs.

I slipped on a tread. Over I went. Upset the lamp.

The house was aflare in a moment.

Could have happened to anyone.

- I suppose there'll be a public subscription. - Not for those who are insured.

I'm with the Royal Salamander. A good firm.

Are you insured, Polly?

The Royal Phoenix. I'm all right.

It cleared me out of a lot of old stock. That's one good thing.

There's one or two round here who are a bit sick the fire didn't reach them.

Well...

Good night.

I've been thinking.

We'll get your insurance and begin over again.

Find a new position where there's more doing.

Well, you wanted stirring up.

We could go anywhere.

Do anything.

What are you talking about?

Well, it's like a sign.

This is our chance.

We can just... go. We're free.

Don't be soft.

We could see the gondolas in Venice.

The pyramids in Egypt.

And then what?

I don't know.

I don't know. See where the road takes us.

The road?

You're in shock.

It's the fire.

You'll get a good night's rest and then you'll see sense.

No, no, I don't want to see sense.

Not if it means being stuck in Fishbourne for the rest of my life.

Don't you see, Miriam?

I've been living the wrong life.

The wrong life?

With me, you mean?

I've not been much of an husband.

But I can make amends.

Let's just pack our bags and go.

You're frightening me.

This is our chance.

All I want...

is a nice little house and a shop.

And a husband who works hard.

And he doesn't use fancy words.

And he isn't a bit out of the ordinary.

It isn't too much to ask, is it?

You're right.

It's the shock talking.

I'll be all right in the morning.

No more gondoliers or pyramids.

I'm just popping out for some air.

Do you want anything?

No.

See you in a few minutes, then.

- A letter for Mr Polly. - You'll find him in there.

- Mr Polly? - Mm.

Thank you.

Morning, Polly!

Ah! Ah.

How much?

Thank you. Thank you.

- This one. - It's a penny.

Thank you very much.

Uh!

Aaa-aa-aa-aah!

Uh!

I wonder how Miriam is doing.

Can't be helped.

There's no going back now.

Oh, Lord, I thought you was Jim.

No, I'm never Jim.

I believe I was dozing.

What can I do for you?

Cold meat?

There is cold meat. Boiled beef with new mustard and a bit of crisp lettuce.

And a tankard.

Are you looking for work?

In a way.

I'm Nancy Potter. Nan, for short.

Polly.

Alfred Polly.

I want an odd-man about the place.

Well, I'm odd, all right.

What are the wages?

Not much. But you get tips and pickings.

I've a sort of feeling it would suit you.

You've got an 'alf respectable look about you.

I suppose you haven't done anything.

A bit of arson.

So long as you haven't the habit.

My first time, ma'am,

and my last.

It's all right if you haven't been to prison.

It's not what a man's happened to do that makes him truly bad.

It's destroying his self-respect is the mischief.

Have you been to prison?

- Nor a reformatory? - Do I look reformed?

You ever killed a chicken?

What's your name?

Polly.

Liar.

I'm Polly. It's my name.

Well, I was first.

But you can call me Alfred.

I'm the new odd-jobman. I think.

When Uncle Jim comes back, he'll squeeze your eyeballs out and feed them to the fish.

Very likely, he'll let me watch.

He only came back a little time ago and he's scooted three men, already.

He'll scoot you, too, I expect.

Uncle Jim don't like strangers about the place.

He's going to teach me to swear, all the good words,

as soon as I can whistle, and spit like a navvy.

He says I'm the gamest little beast he's ever come across.

Eggs.

Well, you drink well, at any rate.

You work as hard as you drink and we'll get along pretty well.

Who's Jim?

Slipper.

Come on.

Slipper!

Jim's my sister's boy.

He's the drawback to this place.

But, very likely, he's gone.

Your little girl doesn't seem to think so.

Well, he ain't been seen in two weeks.

I try not to think of it, but...

Night and day, he's been haunting me.

I'm that worried and afraid.

I wouldn't mind so much if he'd leave that innocent child alone,

but he goes talking to her, teaching her words and giving her ideas.

There's a good boy. Come on, Slipper.

There was always something a bit wrong with Jim.

He stole. He was cruel to the hens and chickens. He stuck a knife in another boy at school.

But then I've seen him be nice to a cat.

No-one could have been kinder.

A biggish sort of man, is he?

He's big enough.

I give him money to keep him away, but he always wants more.

You'd better scoot now.

It ain't reasonable to expect you to do anything else.

I'm not one of your Herculaceous sort.

Nothing very wonderful bicepitally.

You'll scoot.

So you should.

You two oughtn't to be left.

Oh.

- Some more tea? - Please.

This is for you.

Thank you.

You could teach me to spit instead of Uncle Jim.

If you want.

Yes.

I could, but... er...

It's not very polite for a young girl.

Ain't it?

- Not Jim, by any chance? - You listen.

And listen good.

You've got to bloody well shift, all right?

The Potwell is my patch.

You hear me?

You've got to clear out.

What if I don't?

Then I'll make a mess of you.

I'll kick you ugly.

And cut your liver out.

You'll cry to see yourself.

It don't matter to me if I kill you.

I just don't give a dead rat, one way or the other.

Take your hat off when you're talking to me.

I'll be round tomorrow, see?

And if I finds you...

That's it, old chap. Finished.

Time to move on, Alfred.

Oh, I don't want no trouble. I don't want no trouble.

What's her game, dragging me into a quarrel that don't concern me?

It's not my bloody business.

Why was I ever born?

Oh, if I had a chance against him...

It's not my affair.

Ohh!

You've come back.

I thought you were gone for good.

That makes two of us.

- Where's little Polly? - She's locked in her room upstairs.

Out there, is he?

He's mad drunk. He'll kill you.

There's worse things than being dead.

I could be in Fishbourne.

Right. I'm going out there. Don't try to stop me.

I wasn't.

Oh.

Right, then.

Now, look here...

I told you to scoot.

Bottles?

Er...

I'll show you bottles.

Aah.

I'll teach you to stray on my patch!

It'll be the last lesson you'll ever learn.

Yeah. It's deep enough to drown a little rat like you, I reckon.

- Let me up, old chap. You've had your fun. - Fun? I ain't even got started.

Jim!

You keep out of it!

I'll get to you in a minute.

No point getting hung over a minor dispute.

I ain't scared of the rope.

- Now, come on! - I am going. I'll scoot, as quick as you like.

- Say please. - Please.

- Say it again. - Please.

- Say it louder. - Please!

- Again. Louder. - Please!

- Say it again. - Please!

Louder!

Please!

Nah. You've had your chance.

No, no, don't hurt me, please. Please, God, no!

No, no! No, please!

No! No!

Anything wrong here, Nancy?

Ha!

Just a bit of... innocent horseplay, Mr Blake.

I thought as much.

Best be on your way, then.

This ain't finished.

He hurt you.

No.

You ran away.

No, no, I was just... er... I was leading him on.

You were frightened.

Frightened?

I wasn't frightened. I was...

It was... a trick.

It was a trick.

I was just about to knock him down.

He'll be back.

Oh.

# Dee-dah-dum bah-da da-da da

# Dum bah-dillidy-dee da dum

# Bah dumptidy dum

# Bom bah-dabbidy bom

# Bah-bah-bah bom bah-bah dee-bom bah dum

# Bom babbidy dum bah-dum

# Dee da-da-dum

# Bah dum bom-bom bah bom...

He ain't here.

Where's that dirty little mongrel?

Where is he hiding?

Come here and face me!

I got something for you!

Well!

Ain't you a nice gentleman, eh?

You four-eyed little git.

Restrain yourself, my good man.

Who the bloody hell are you to call me your man?

Eh?

So sorry to interrupt. Only there's a chap in there who seems to want someone.

- That would be me, Horace. - Oh.

He appears to have brought you a present of fish.

Fish?

I wish you'd ask him to go away.

His language isn't quite the thing.

Put the eel down, Jim.

Sorry.

Get his legs!

Aaah!

Get out! - Get off me!

You're dead. Dead! Do you hear me?

Dead.

The next time you go to sleep, you'll wake up with your throat slit.

Jim won't stop.

He'll never stop.

He'll stop, believe me.

He'll stop.

I'll make him.

If I get killed, I get killed.

If he gets killed, I get hung.

It just don't seem fair, somehow.

Maybe he won't come back this time.

I always hoped he'd change, but he never did.

He can't change.

He could if he wanted to.

If the world doesn't please you, you can change it.

Choose a new life.

Ooh.

That's funny. I hadn't thought on it for months.

What's that?

Indigestion.

Gives a man a bitter sort of outlook.

Or is it a bit of life that injures him elementarily?

- Well, we've got milk of magnesia. - No, no.

I don't need it.

I haven't needed it since...

For a long time.

The cure was staring me in the eye all the time and I never saw it.

You only needed a good doctor.

The type of medicine I'm talking about doesn't come from a bottle.

Ooh.

You don't have to stay, not for my sake.

A man has to stick at something.

Uh!

Well, you won't be needing this any more.

Eh?

Come out!

Come out, wherever you are!

Uncle Jim is home!

Come out!

Come down here!

Cor blimey, Polly, what have you gone and done now?

Come on!

Or I'll torment you!

Whoooh!

Ha ha ha! Come on out, you little weevil.

You can...

I'm not afraid any more.

Of course you are. Everyone is.

There's harder things than dying.

Never living properly at all.

That's worse.

Ain't you gonna beg for mercy, then?

Eh?

Like before?

Beg!

No.

All right.

All right.

You asked for it.

Uh...

Oh-oh-oh.

Uh...

Miriam?

Who's Miriam?

There's no Miriam here.

You understand?

Yeah.

We thought you was dead.

I thought I looked it.

The bullet has only grazed him.

Where's Jim?

I left him in the yard. The gun blew up in his face.

We found the rifle. No sign of Jim, though.

Don't worry. We'll see to him.

You're thinking about her again, aren't you?

Who?

You know who.

You've been thinking of her a lot, lately.

If I was thinking of a certain party, and I won't say I was...

.. I might be thinking I...

I didn't treat her well.

I might be thinking what I did to her was mean.

And she might be sad or lonely or desperate, because of it.

I might be thinking all that, if I was thinking anything at all.

Damn.

Why now?

I'm happy.

Maybe I don't deserve to be.

She hadn't crossed my mind until recently.

Now she won't go away.

Not like Jim.

He went away.

I often wonder where he got to.

I ain't sorry he's gone, though.

You never ask me who she is.

I don't want to know.

You loved her, I suppose.

I thought so, once, but...

Now I don't know.

Would it put you out too much if I went off for a couple of days?

I can manage.

I'll ask only one thing.

Don't do to me what you did to her.

If you're not coming back, write and tell me.

I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my days

wondering if every passing stranger might be you, at last.

Wait for me!

Can I have tea?

I daresay I could sort out a table.

My sister has been cleaning up. The tearoom is a bit upset.

Miriam likes a good turnout.

It's her way.

Polly & Larkins?

Unusual name.

I'm Larkins.

My sister married a Mr Polly.

She's a widow, now, though.

Has been these past three years.

Widow?

Yeah, he was found drowned in the Medway.

My poor sister wouldn't have known if it hadn't been for the name sewn in his clothes.

All white and eaten away he was.

Well, there must have been an inquest.

Yeah. Of course.

He drowned, that's all.

Are you sure it was him?

Well, who else could it have been?

In the very clothes he wore?

Must have been a shock to your sister.

She's not the type to give up.

Of course, she had the life insurance.

I suppose she did.

And we started the tearooms with it.

I've got to get some milk.

A dissolute type, was he, this... Polly?

Not dissolute, exactly.

He was a very wearing sort of husband.

"Feeble" is the word.

Weak.

Weak as water.

Not as weak as you think, Annie.

- What was that? - I said, my tea, I don't like it weak.

We've got a customer.

I'm sorry about the mess. I'll soon have it cleared up.

A nice sort of day, isn't it, Miriam?

Oh, my God.

It's you.

No, it isn't.

It just... looks like me.

I knew all along that drowned man wasn't you.

I tried to think it was.

I tried to think the water had altered your wrists and your feet and the colour of your hair.

I was always afraid you'd come back.

How we'll repay the insurance I don't know.

No, Miriam, listen.

I haven't come back. I'm not coming back.

Think of me as a visitor from another world.

You're not coming back?

How can I?

I'm dead.

You shut up about me and I'll shut up about myself.

I only came back because I thought you might be hard up and in trouble.

I thought you might be unhappy and that things weren't finished between us,

but now I see how things are, I'm satisfied.

I'm going to absquatulate, see?

Hey presto! Whoosh! Back into thin air.

And don't think you're ever going to see me again, because you ain't.

And we'll both be happier for it.

Your sister's had a shock, some fancy about a ghost.

Can't make it out, quite.

Well, he's a rum 'un, isn't he?

You've come back.

I have.

Will you be staying?

If it suits.

Did you find any reason why you shouldn't?

None at all.

Are you going to marry my mother?

Not marry.

As good as.

- You didn't scoot. - No.

I won't scoot now.

Not ever.

I taught myself.

I set fire to a house once.

I don't feel sorry for it.

I nearly killed myself with a razor. Who hasn't?

Or at least got as far as thinking about it.

Most of my life I was half dreaming.

I never really planned it or set out to live.

Things just happened.

It's the same with everyone.

I married in a dream.

I lived in a dream.

I'm awake now, though.

Lord, look at it.

What have we done to deserve an evening like this?

I don't see that it does you any good, looking at sunsets.

They don't help you.

Who cares?

They don't last.

You've got to die someday.

Yeah, but we're here now and that's what counts.

And whenever there are signs of a good sunset, I'll come and I'll sit out here.

Time we was going in.

It's as you say...

...we can't sit out here for ever.

Can we?