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00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,001
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,013
♪
3
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:10,761
‐ This place is amazing.
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:13,431
How do they keep incrementally improving
products year after year?
5
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,600
‐ Oh. The Apple Pencil Pro is far superior
6
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,139
to last year's disgusting,
obsolete Apple Pencil.
7
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,393
The new one can write in cursive.
8
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:22,024
‐ I literally saw Emily Dickinson
writing poetry with it
9
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,572
in the Apple TV+ show Dickinson
on my Apple TV!
10
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:27,276
‐ Oh, they have a U2 branded Wi‐Fi router?
11
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,487
‐ Wow! It's red!
12
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,197
For every four bars of signal you get,
13
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,447
Bono sends a pair of shoes
to a sea turtle.
14
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,989
‐ Hey there, you looking for a repair‐‐
15
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:36,332
‐ Fetch me an Apple Pencil Pro,
Apple servant.
16
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:38,328
‐ You got it.
You want a charging necklace too?
17
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,670
The pencil runs out of batteries very fa‐‐
18
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[screaming] Get away from me! Wee!
19
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,041
Help!
‐ Oh my god, Pete, you okay?
20
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:47,214
‐ These are the psycho aliens
that tortured me in their dungeon!
21
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,934
‐ That's impossible. We turned
our dungeon into a Florida room.
22
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,965
‐ Yeah, we've never even met
this fuckin' freak show!
23
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,679
Hello, sir, I'm‐‐
‐ Don't touch me!
24
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,389
Siri, call the cops!
25
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,559
SIRI:
Playing Destiny's Child.
26
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,848
[siren wailing]
27
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:02,352
♪
28
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,614
‐ That's them!
29
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,935
[camera shutter clicking]
30
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:06,651
[gloves stretching]
31
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,698
‐ He doesn't have a hole.
32
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‐ We'll just have to make one.
33
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,608
‐ Hey, how's it going?
34
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,334
‐ The Solar Opposites are going to jail!
35
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,459
KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
36
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,290
until the asteroid hit.
37
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,915
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
38
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,010
and escaped into, uh, the space,
39
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,336
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
40
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,052
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
41
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,813
That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
42
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,555
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
43
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,977
This is, this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
44
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[stammers]
This is ridiculous.
45
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,314
I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
46
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,813
People are stupid and confusing.
47
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:47,444
Do they like Brendan Fraser or not?
48
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,031
He's a good guy.
Give him a chance.
49
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:52,696
♪
50
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,042
♪ ominous music playing ♪
51
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,326
♪
52
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,292
‐ Chris Cicowski, 35.
53
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,252
Mandy Sinclair, 28.
54
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,302
Jeffrey Dean Dorgan, 33.
55
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:12,006
Agnes Peterbort,
75 years old.
56
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,837
Tomorrow would have been
her birthday.
57
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,722
‐ Cool list, bro. I take my coffee
with a splash of mouse milk.
58
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,640
‐ Then maybe you don't understand
what's happening here.
59
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,679
You're done.
60
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,061
I know you killed all those people,
61
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:24,188
I was an executive story editor
on Bones seasons five through nine
62
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:27,646
and let me tell you, friend,
that's a season wrap on Ethan!
63
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,818
‐ Aw. You never even got a bump
to co‐producer? Pathetic.
64
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,027
I bet they just stuck you
in the Bones joke room.
65
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:35,658
‐ We didn't have a joke room,
it was an innuendo room.
66
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,656
And I was only there
for the back nine.
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00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,738
[exhales]
68
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,201
If you ever want to see
the halogen reptile lamp
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00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,043
that Yumyulack uses to simulate
the light of day again,
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you better start cooperating.
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00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,459
[yawns]
‐ Buddy, you got it all wrong.
72
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,920
I'm going to be walking out of here,
and you're not.
73
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:53,511
‐ You think Tim and the Walldermen
are just gonna let you go?
74
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,007
‐ Oh yeah, babe.
Without me, Tim is nothing.
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Nada, zero, zilch.
76
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:01,812
‐ Oh wow, I didn't realize I was talking
to someone so important.
77
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:05,057
‐ You think Jesse gives us CLIF bars,
chewable Tylenol, and Dasani water?
78
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,520
[laughs]
Come on.
79
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,730
All that protein and medicine
that you're used to?
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00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:10,401
This guy.
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00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:13,239
‐ So I'm supposed to believe
you're killing people during the week,
82
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:15,815
then turning big and running errands
on the weekends?
83
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,071
‐ Oh my god, you're so stupid.
84
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,582
Listen, there is a hole
in the top of the Wall.
85
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:21,405
It's been there
since before the war.
86
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,750
The Duke would use it
to bring in extra supplies
87
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,365
to keep control
of the population.
88
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,502
‐ A top‐secret hole that
we could use to escape, huh?
89
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:30,379
You have quite
the imagination, murderer.
90
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,547
‐ Broheim had
an Amazon Fresh subscription.
91
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,966
They'd throw the deliveries on the roof,
then I'd just climb out and I'd get ‘em.
92
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,465
Now I do the same thing
for my close personal friend, Tim.
93
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,337
[grunts]
94
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,183
‐ I'm sick of this bullshit!
95
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:43,429
There's no hole in the Wall,
and I won't let you drag Tim's good name.
96
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,062
‐ In the beforefore time,
I was a rock climbing instructor
97
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,389
at Bally's Total Fitness.
98
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,614
Outside the Wall,
the only thing I used to murder
99
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,105
was indoor climbing walls.
100
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,316
‐ And I care why?
101
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‐ Once I got in here,
I had so much temptation,
102
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:58,445
you know, so many potential victims,
and no rock climbing to distract me.
103
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,664
At first, I was going to kill myself.
That way, I wouldn't murder anyone.
104
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,118
But then you saved me.
105
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,620
‐ What?
‐ Oh, you don't remember, do you?
106
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,882
I am the one who started
the flooding of the Nerds.
107
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:18,007
My plan was to die in that Nerd pile
and finally escape my impulses.
108
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,182
But then you saved me.
109
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♪
110
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‐ Oh my god.
‐ That's when I knew I was special.
111
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,819
You saved me
so I could fulfill my destiny.
112
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,146
[laughs] I'm a god!
113
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,951
‐ Shut up!
‐ I'm a god!
114
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[cackling]
115
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MAN: Let's go.
Let's get in here.
116
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,453
Let's do this.
‐ Welp, that's my ride.
117
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,409
‐ Okay, let's say there is
some big conspiracy
118
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,869
to help you kill
innocent people.
119
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:49,159
But now you've told me
the whole plan, Mr. Total Fitness.
120
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,254
So what happens next?
121
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:52,419
‐ I don't know, they'll probably just come
in here and kill you
122
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,627
and then blame it on a cricket.
123
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,297
‐ What? How the hell
do you know about the cricket?
124
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,376
‐ These guys aren't exactly
creative geniuses.
125
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,012
They always just blame it
on a cricket.
126
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,509
[buzzer sounds]
127
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,431
‐ Has anyone mistreated you
since you got here?
128
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,469
‐ I'm not saying anything
until our lawyer gets here.
129
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,933
‐ Oh my god, I'm your lawyer.
130
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,433
How many times do we have
to go over this?
131
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,314
‐ Objection, overruled,
I rest my case.
132
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,981
‐ This isn't even the trial‐‐
forget it.
133
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,650
Let me walk you
through the accusations,
134
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,108
and I gotta say,
they seem very specific.
135
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,239
According to Peter,
the, uh, Okja‐type character,
136
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,857
this all started off
when Korvo got annoyed
137
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:24,374
at an annual
Rib Fest‐style block party
138
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,076
on the street
outside your house...
139
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,446
♪ rock music playing on speakers ♪
[inaudible chatter]
140
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,618
‐ Pupa, put those delicious ribs down!
141
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,253
Goddammit,
I hate this stupid Rib Fest.
142
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,670
There's nowhere to park,
they play rib jams all day,
143
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,419
and some guy who's not me
always wins the "Best Ribs" competition!
144
00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:40,132
Why can't Korvo
be a winner for once?
145
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,182
‐ You know, Korvo, you could take
some barbecue classes
146
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:45,006
at The Learning Annex
or watch some YouTube videos,
147
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,102
chefnap Paula Deen‐‐
148
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,806
‐ Kidnapping people takes too long,
I'll just use sci‐fi shit!
149
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:51,517
STEPHANIE: The prosecution claims
Korvo created a giant pig thing
150
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,768
that self‐cooked racks
of award‐winning ribs
151
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,650
out of its chest,
152
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,186
whose blood tasted like
delicious barbecue sauce,
153
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,741
and when struck
"shat out all the fixins."
154
00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,775
KORVO: Dammit, that does sound like
something I would do.
155
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,488
Right down to the "fixin'" shits.
156
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,528
‐ Where am I? Wh‐what am I?
157
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,082
Are you my dad? Wee! Help!
158
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,326
Ohh!
159
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,748
Whoa‐oh! Oh!
‐ Mm, that's good rib.
160
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:13,577
Could use a little
barbecue sauce though.
161
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,501
‐ Oh no!
162
00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,961
STEPHANIE: Korvo won
five straight Rib Fest gold medals,
163
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:21,591
dethroning Lizzo's cousin, Ribbo,
as the Rib Fest champion.
164
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,720
‐ Please let me go.
165
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,836
‐ Hold still, I need a potluck worth
of your shit for a church event tonight.
166
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:29,144
‐ Korvo, wait! I need Peter
to help me with my math homework.
167
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,269
He's not going to be able
to focus if he's screaming.
168
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,346
What's the X in this equation?
Tell me!
169
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,522
‐ Hi, guys! Are we having a‐‐
170
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,100
Oh my god, what's that?
171
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,734
‐ Please, little girl! These guys
are crazy. You gotta help me!
172
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,482
‐ Don't worry, little guy. Jesse's here.
173
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,236
You have to let him go!
174
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,986
You can't just keep a creature trapped
in your basement and torture it.
175
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:48,078
‐ You clearly don't understand
how important it is to win rib contests.
176
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,905
‐ Ohhh! Oh!
177
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,870
‐ [sobbing] Oh god!
178
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,620
‐ Guys! Come watch me do donuts
on the front lawn!
179
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:56,002
I finally figured out how to do it.
Turns out it's a circle!
180
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,169
‐ Awesome!
‐ Alright.
181
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:58,923
[door closes]
182
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,668
[grunting]
183
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,916
[gasps, farts]
184
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,094
[cheering]
TERRY: Fuck you, lawn! Woo!
185
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,472
Yeah‐hey! Woo!
[tires screeching]
186
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,048
STEPHANIE: Peter escaped
while you were distracted by the donuts.
187
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,814
He spent a few nights in the woods,
then he moved on with his life,
188
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,517
got his MFA
in interpretive dance,
189
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,847
couldn't find work, duh,
so he got a job at the Apple Store
190
00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,733
with all the other people
who have MFAs.
191
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,859
‐ Okay, look: full disclosure,
that story really did sound
192
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,227
like something
we would do, r‐right?
193
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,403
‐ Yeah, I mean, it feels like
something we'd pitch to Hulu
194
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,362
and they'd say,
"We don't understand it but go for it."
195
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,862
‐ But I don't remember any of it.
196
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:29,624
I never went to a Rib Fest or met
this delicious rib‐looking Peter guy.
197
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,906
‐ Yeah, just because
the story "sounded like us"
198
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,040
doesn't mean we did it.
199
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,196
‐ Yeah, we're good people.
200
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,084
Remember that time we turned
that homeless guy's blood
201
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:36,961
into Vitamin Water?
202
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,747
O‐o‐or when we killed
millions of bees
203
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:39,880
so people wouldn't get stung?
204
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,337
‐ Yeah, we invented vaping,
that has to count for something!
205
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,757
‐ You're both right.
We're great.
206
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,505
This was one hundred percent not us!
207
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,627
‐ Well, Peter is
a convincing witness.
208
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,554
Plus he's a big alien thing
and you're aliens,
209
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,433
so it's not hard
to think that you did this.
210
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:52,760
‐ What does that mean for us?
211
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,564
‐ It means you're fucked.
212
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:55,598
[slams table]
213
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,228
‐ This is your last chance
to let me go, buddy.
214
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,940
Here they‐‐ they're coming,
do you feel 'em?
215
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,690
Do you feel 'em? They're coming.
It's all over for you. Get ready.
216
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:04,402
Oh, that hurt.
217
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,775
‐ Halk. Calm down, big guy,
don't do anything crazy.
218
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,319
Just put the Ring Pop knife down.
219
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,123
‐ Stay back!
‐ Let me kill him, please!
220
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,486
‐ What are you doing?
‐ He's the killer!
221
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,332
The 7 was an L,
it was upside‐down.
222
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:15,658
He lived in a fortune cookie.
223
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,752
‐ Wait, what are you talking about?
224
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,497
‐ If you caught the real killer,
then great!
225
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,878
But if you kill him,
it'll just make you a killer too.
226
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,336
‐ Stay back! Don't take
another fuckin' step.
227
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,757
[buzzer sounds]
228
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,255
‐ You know,
I bet prison isn't all that bad.
229
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,926
All I have to do is bide my time
until I go to the Sorting Hat.
230
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:29,756
You know what I'm saying,
my man?
231
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,760
‐ You're confusing prison
with the Harry Potter movies.
232
00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:35,063
‐ Don't make assumptions about people,
he might've read the books.
233
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:36,307
‐ Fuck you! Even if he had,
234
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:38,938
he couldn't avoid
the cultural impact of the movies!
235
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,556
[grunting]
‐ Come on, you won't fight me!
236
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:43,152
‐ Aah! Does this mean
I don't get to be in Hufflepuff?
237
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,904
‐ Aah! Ow!
238
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,990
Ow! God!
239
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:48,531
‐ What the fuck!
240
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:52,119
‐ Oh no, please tell me you got
a backup crack pipe inside that butt.
241
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,405
‐ How does everyone in this prison
have so many shivs?
242
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,289
‐ Well, they teach
a shiv‐making class on weekends.
243
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,037
‐ Why?
‐ Yumyulack, you know what they say:
244
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,379
give a man a shiv,
he shivs for a day.
245
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,125
Now, teach a man to shiv‐‐
246
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,546
‐ Ugh, this place is horrible.
247
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:05,705
There's hardly any sushi,
248
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,462
the guy making
the sushi is a rapist,
249
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,934
and he charges you airport prices
right before he shivs you.
250
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,295
‐ This is fucking bullshit.
I know we didn't do this to Peter.
251
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,352
We're nice, Pupa‐fearing,
Fox News‐believing members of society.
252
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,387
‐ How did we get here then?
253
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:19,140
‐ There's only one explanation.
The Solar Opposites are getting set up.
254
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,392
[Jesse, Terry, Yumyulack gasp]
255
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,814
Someone wanted to take us down.
256
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:23,562
It's a conspiracy,
and we can't trust anyone.
257
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,824
‐ Oh! You think
Peter's the mastermind?
258
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,396
‐ No way! Peter's the best.
He has the face and ribs of an angel.
259
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,202
‐ How could you say that about Peter
after everything he's been through?
260
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,986
‐ Seriously, Terry,
go fuck yourself.
261
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,530
‐ If sweet angel Peter
didn't do it, who did?
262
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,914
Is there someone in our world
we offended in some way?
263
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,291
‐ Um, last week Yumyulack and I
didn't want to take a history test,
264
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:44,290
so we used the Bone Changer Ray
to turn Ms. Frankie's bones into metal
265
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:45,293
like Marvel's Wolverine.
266
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:46,094
[metal detector beeping]
[gasps]
267
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,256
‐ What's happening to me? Argh!
‐ Hello, sweetie!
268
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,915
Did you forget to take your keys
out of your pocket again?
269
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,014
[all screaming]
270
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,390
[screams]
271
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,760
‐ Jesus, that's grim.
It must have been Ms. Frankie.
272
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,733
‐ Well, hold on, there was also
this thing with Roland last Tuesday...
273
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,478
I just watched Toy Story 4,
274
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,646
and I thought it would be fun
to make someone's toys come alive.
275
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,895
So I zapped this guy's stuff
with our Make‐Alive Ray.
276
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:08,938
Live , motherfuckers, live!
[ray zapping]
277
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,942
‐ Why is my stuff alive?
What's happening?
278
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,704
[screaming]
[growling]
279
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:15,066
‐ That's messed up, Terry.
But another viable suspect.
280
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,623
It could also be Matthew.
‐ Who?
281
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,077
‐ He's the neighborhood fuckboi
who hates me for no reason.
282
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,327
He's kind of my nemesis.
283
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:23,039
Matthew told me I wasn't allowed
to wear Christ‐mas sweaters
284
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,830
because I don't know anything
about Christ‐mas,
285
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,043
whatever the fuck that is.
286
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,751
So I decided to shoot him
with the sci‐fi holiday cannon.
287
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:30,381
[explosion booms]
288
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,340
‐ Oh!
289
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:32,800
Oh god! No!
290
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,299
I can't feel my soul!
291
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,642
‐ Who doesn't know
about Christ‐mas now, you fuck?
292
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:40,968
‐ Okay, wow, we just flashed back
to three really good options
293
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,024
for who's framing us.
294
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,887
Honestly, there could be dozens
of hundreds more.
295
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,354
‐ Guys, stop. Think about it.
296
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,404
There's no way
humans could do this.
297
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,147
They're dumb as fuck.
‐ Yum's right, they hella dumb.
298
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,400
They're so budget.
299
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,571
‐ Jesse, stop trying to make budget
the new basic.
300
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,740
But yes, in this one instance,
they are budget.
301
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,409
‐ But someone did this to us.
302
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,407
Someone who's smart,
powerful, handsome,
303
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,409
loves animals,
has cheek bones for days,
304
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,871
lots of time on their hands.
305
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,541
Who could it be?
306
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,330
JESSE/KORVO/YUMYULACK: Obama!
TERRY: Dora the Explorer!
307
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,753
Yes, Obama!
The pride of Occidental College.
308
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:11,962
‐ Motherfucker's been on our shit
ever since we out‐windsurfed him in Cabo.
309
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,764
‐ We have to break out of prison
and clear our names.
310
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:17,217
‐ Hooray! The Solar Opposites
are staging a breakout!
311
00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:19,853
[keypad beeping]
312
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:21,966
‐ Pupa, you up?
‐ Yes!
313
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,939
[indiscernible whispering]
314
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,055
♪
315
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,859
[grunting]
316
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:38,116
♪
317
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:38,945
Ta‐da!
318
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,834
KORVO/TERRY/JESSE/YUMYULACK:
Pupa!
319
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,584
[all cheering]
320
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,041
‐ Yes!
‐ Yes!
321
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,460
[sirens wailing]
322
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,878
‐ Alright, the cops are after us.
That's enough Shawshank‐ing.
323
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:54,167
Wait, what the hell are these?
[gasps]
324
00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:55,513
Oh god. Oh no.
325
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,427
POLICEWOMAN: [over megaphone]
We've got you surrounded!
326
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,425
Come out with your hands up!
327
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,176
‐ Come on , Korvo! Let's grab our stuff
and get out of here!
328
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:01,468
‐ No, no, no! Look at the ribbons!
And the certificates!
329
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,851
Look at the fucking trophies!
330
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,638
‐ But I thought you didn't win
any rib contests?
331
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,021
‐ We all must have erased
our minds.
332
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:07,808
We did do all that
horrible stuff to Pete.
333
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,941
‐ Oh god. We're monsters!
334
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,438
‐ No way, we're always using
sci‐fi stuff to help people!
335
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,611
‐ No, we don't.
We're cowards and sneaky shits
336
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,200
who use sci‐fi to make
our lives easier.
337
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:18,905
‐ No one was setting us up,
we really just are horrible people,
338
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:19,776
I mean, aliens.
339
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,531
POLICEWOMAN: [over megaphone]
Guys, this is your final warning
340
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,793
before things get
all pew‐pew‐pew.
341
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,155
Wait, what?
People don't get tha‐‐
342
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,372
Okay, just to be clear,
343
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:29,251
pew‐pew‐pew means we're gonna be
shooting bullets out of guns,
344
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,879
not Star Wars lasers.
345
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,086
You guys got that, right?
346
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,665
‐ Look, we're guilty of a lot,
but we can pay the price for Peter.
347
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,671
We have to let ourselves get arrested
and go back to prison.
348
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:40,973
‐ Hooray! The Solar Opposites
are taking responsibility!
349
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,049
[sirens wailing]
350
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:43,724
‐ Don't shoot,
we‐we‐we‐we're coming out.
351
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,062
POLICEWOMAN:
Hold your pew‐pews!
352
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,563
[handcuffs clicking]
353
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,889
♪ uplifting music playing ♪
354
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:52,194
♪
355
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,404
♪
356
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,704
♪ foreboding music playing ♪
357
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,279
♪
358
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,908
[sighs]
359
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,424
HALK: Tim!
TIM: What the hell?
360
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,205
Halk Hogam,
what are you doing here?
361
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,339
‐ We need to talk!
362
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,415
‐ Of course, anything for a hero
of Wall War I.
363
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,171
‐ Don't listen to him, Tim.
He's gone crazy.
364
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,633
He's trying
to ruin Cherie Day!
365
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,763
‐ I've caught the real murderer.
366
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,009
He claims he's some kind of runner
who goes outside the Wall
367
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,221
for celery sticks and gum.
368
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,391
He says you
and the Walldermen protect him.
369
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:28,560
‐ What the hell?
You told me it was a cricket.
370
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:30,389
‐ That's the line they were trying
to feed me, too.
371
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:33,694
‐ So this is the man
who's been terrorizing my utopia?
372
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,109
‐ Yes. You assholes,
373
00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,687
I told you
Tim would want justice!
374
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:39,442
‐ My sweet Ethan.
You're supposed to help me.
375
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,824
What did you do, you stupid boy?
‐ Wait, what?
376
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,322
‐ I've been making the Wall
a better place for all of us!
377
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,544
‐ You knew?
[Tim sighs]
378
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,535
‐ I've known Ethan for a long time.
379
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,116
And yes, there is
a hole in the Wall.
380
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:52,463
There is a way out.
381
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:53,793
[Halk gasps]
382
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,250
‐ My god.
‐ Ethan does runs for me.
383
00:13:57,254 --> 00:14:00,304
He gets medicine, food,
using a system the Duke set up.
384
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:02,129
But I didn't know
he was killing people.
385
00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:04,224
‐ I was just exerting
my will as a god!
386
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,759
Hey, would you tell him,
you guys, that I'm a god?
387
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,603
‐ You guys knew
this was happening?
388
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:10,519
‐ We were just doing
what we thought you would want.
389
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,977
‐ We wanted to shield you
from the truth
390
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:13,597
so you could focus
on leading us all.
391
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:16,574
‐ What you've done goes
against everything we've fought for!
392
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,319
But I know your hearts
are in the right place.
393
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:20,568
I won't punish you.
‐ What?
394
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:22,149
‐ That's not the way of the Wall.
395
00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:23,824
‐ Fuck no!
They can't just walk away!
396
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:24,872
‐ Thank you, Tim.
‐ Thank you for your mercy, Tim.
397
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,655
‐ But, Ethan, we have
to lock you up.
398
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:27,948
It's for your own good, my son.
399
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,201
‐ You can't lock me up!
400
00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:31,753
'Cause I'll just escape
and I'll kill all of you!
401
00:14:31,747 --> 00:14:32,827
Because I am a god.
402
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:35,041
‐ Halk, please let Ethan go
with the Walldermen.
403
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:37,592
You have my word:
he won't hurt anyone else.
404
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,165
ETHAN: Ow!
405
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:43,093
‐ Take him
to the holding chamber.
406
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,138
ETHAN:
I can get out of anything. [grunts]
407
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,847
I command you to release me!
408
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,061
Ow, let me go!
409
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,638
[Ethan grunting]
410
00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:54,654
HALK: What's that?
411
00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:56,437
‐ Tim! What are you doing?
412
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:58,978
‐ Take the carb out, man!
Let us out!
413
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:02,152
‐ I can't. You let Ethan get away
with sullying the Wall.
414
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,242
The blood is on
all your tiny hands.
415
00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:05,698
Farewell, my friends.
[Sonny grunting]
416
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:10,829
‐ Oh no, Magic Shell!
417
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,747
[screaming]
418
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:14,997
[gagging]
419
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,168
‐ Not like this! No!
[gagging]
420
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,587
‐ No, no, no, no, no, Tim!
421
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,255
Tim, I can stop killing!
I'm, I'm better now!
422
00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:23,755
No, no, no!
[screaming]
423
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,257
[gagging]
424
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,971
[cracking]
425
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:31,679
[sighs]
426
00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:32,852
‐ I had no choice.
427
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:35,100
They were part of the old way,
part of the problem.
428
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,902
But you, Halk, you can be part
of the solution.
429
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,016
Walk with me.
430
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,692
‐ Even if you didn't know
Ethan was a killer,
431
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:43,401
you've kept the secret
of the hole this entire time.
432
00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:44,952
‐ I'm not asking you
to give me your trust,
433
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,065
but I owe you the truth,
434
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,072
all of it.
435
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:50,203
Hear me out, and then
you can decide what you want to do.
436
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,578
[gavel banging]
437
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:56,246
‐ Terry, Korvo,
Yumyulack, Jesse.
438
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,328
I find you guilty on all counts.
439
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,423
I recommend you to be put to death.
440
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:01,839
If anyone has an issue with this,
441
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:05,007
speak now
or forever hold your pe‐ace.
442
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,627
‐ I have something to say.
[all gasp]
443
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,474
‐ Terry, the replicants,
and I have talked it over,
444
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,139
and we believe that we should,
in fact, be sentenced to death.
445
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,059
We, we deserve it.
446
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,426
Also, "speak now or forever hold
your peace" is for weddings.
447
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:19,194
‐ Folks, I didn't win the hit
ABC reality show America's Sexiest Judge
448
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:21,438
just to be disrespected
in my own court space.
449
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,480
Now for the deets
on the execush...
450
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,743
‐ Stop.
[all gasp]
451
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:29,197
I believe the Solar Opposites
don't deserve to die.
452
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:30,198
‐ Whoa!
453
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:32,029
Whoa, I did not see that coming.
454
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:34,414
It was that big rib monster
they trapped in the basement.
455
00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:35,701
But I had to keep it cool.
456
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,504
I mean, I was the sexy judge.
457
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,707
Speak your truth, homie.
458
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:41,377
‐ Yes, they are really,
really terrible people,
459
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:44,206
which is why they deserve
something worse than the death penalty.
460
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:46,593
If they die,
they'll only suffer for a moment.
461
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:48,590
But if they live,
they'll have to suffer the guilt
462
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,262
of what they've done forever.
463
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,260
‐ Oh, we can do that.
I feel totes guilty.
464
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,812
George, I am so sorry.
465
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,926
‐ There are punishments
that will keep them in pain
466
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,274
way longer than killing them,
467
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,148
some real fucked‐up stuff.
468
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,225
Like here, let me show you.
Check out this video on YouTube.
469
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:04,901
‐ Holy fuck, we never even did
something like that at my frat!
[screaming on video]
470
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,440
We did get close though.
RIP, Bryce. We miss you, man.
471
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,106
‐ If it's on YouTube,
how bad can it be?
472
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,112
I‐I‐I bet it's just like weird tickling.
473
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:11,954
[crowd shouting]
474
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:13,909
‐ The aliens are going
to put on gloves
475
00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:15,739
filled with Brazilian Bullet Ants.
476
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:18,164
The ants have the most
painful venom on Earth,
477
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,873
and each glove has over 500 ants.
478
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,174
The pain lasts for days!
479
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,088
[crowd shouting, cheering]
480
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,746
[screaming]
481
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,014
KORVO: I deserve this!
TERRY: Aah! Me too!!
482
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,336
JESSE: Stingers!
483
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,181
[crowd cheering]
MS. FRANKIE: Ha ha ha, yeah!
484
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,886
Woo‐hoo‐hoo!
485
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:37,175
[lock beeps]
486
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:39,392
[engine starts]
487
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:41,903
♪
488
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:49,494
We did it!
489
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,124
We out sci‐fi'd
those piece of shit aliens!
490
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,576
Oh, it was complicated as hell,
but we did it!
491
00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,747
‐ I can't remember,
can you tell us how we did it again?
492
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,365
‐ I used the Bone Changer Ray
493
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:03,672
to turn a regular pig
into that giant, rib‐filled monster.
494
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,547
I bought some Solar Opposites masks
from the Hulu Store's
495
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,045
going‐out‐of‐business sale.
496
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:11,296
I also got 15 Pen15 pens
that are also dildos.
497
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,470
Matthew, it was a genius idea
498
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,558
to switch the Holiday Spirit Cannon
to 4th of July mode.
499
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:18,305
MATTHEW: That's right.
Pre‐cooked ribs.
500
00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:21,057
Coleslaw poop and salt rub tears.
501
00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:24,191
[grunts]
[farts]
502
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,688
MS. FRANKIE:
And, Roland, excellent call
503
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:28,939
to use the Make‐Alive Ray
to really land the plane.
504
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,402
‐ Holy fuck, I'm aware
of my existence!
505
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:34,113
ROLAND: Your name is Peter.
‐ Pe‐ter?
506
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,534
ROLAND: Aw, geez, don't cha know‐‐
MS: FRANKIE: Today, I've learned a lesson.
507
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:39,043
MATTHEW: I'm Terry!
I'm gonna do donuts in the yard!
508
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:41,456
MS. FRANKIE: It was so easy
to leave the harness unbuckled
509
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,865
during our fake family meeting
so Peter could escape.
510
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:46,084
[grunting]
[gasps, farts]
511
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:49,087
[glasses clink]
Now those bitch‐ass aliens can pay
512
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,167
for all their crimes!
513
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,012
Today, humanity wins!
514
00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:52,627
‐ Whoa!
‐ Woo!
515
00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:54,843
‐ Oh shit! What have I done?
516
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,183
[crowd cheering]
JESSE: Oh lord, the pain!
517
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,599
I can feel it in my whole body!
518
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:00,718
YUMYULACK:
I can too!
519
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:02,144
JESSE: Even in my inner eye!
YUMYULACK: But it's, it's good!
520
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,232
We needed it!
TERRY: We're pieces of shit!
521
00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:06,188
We're big pieces of shitty shit!
522
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,358
KORVO:
Ohh! We'll never be mean again!
523
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,067
We'll learn how to have empathy!
524
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,317
‐ We learned our lesson!
525
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:12,858
[screaming]
[crowd shouting]
526
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,531
Oh my god,
look at this guy's shirt!
527
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,990
‐ Is that supposed to be
a Wayne's World parody?
528
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,620
Is your name Mark?
YUMYULACK: Ow! Ow!
529
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:20,657
Those movies came out
a million years ago!
530
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:24,371
‐ What kind of loser gets his name added
to a Wayne's World shirt?
531
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:26,293
You suck!
‐ That's so embarrassing!
532
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,841
You're a real fucking idiot,
you know that!
533
00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:31,762
‐ I can't even look at you!
Get out of here, you fucking freak!
534
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:33,045
YUMYULACK:
Terry's right, get out of here!
535
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:34,468
‐ Oh, these ants feel bad,
536
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,636
but shitting on humans
almost evens it out!
537
00:19:36,635 --> 00:19:38,175
[screaming continues]
538
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,348
[cheering]
TIM: Oh, wow. Look at this.
539
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:43,057
Good Cherie Day, everyone.
[laughs]
540
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:44,772
Oh, that's perfect!
541
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,058
Wow!
542
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:48,397
Good Cherie Day to you.
543
00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:55,237
I've never told anyone this,
but it's been eating away at me.
544
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:58,817
Now is the time to tell
the true story of Cherie's death.
545
00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:01,704
The story you know... it's a lie.
546
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:04,332
Yes, she was a hero
who helped me defeat the Duke.
547
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:08,289
Yes, she was my lover,
and yes, we had a bunch of sex.
548
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,502
Pussy was poppin'. It was‐‐
‐ Tim, please.
549
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:13,586
‐ The Duke didn't kill her
during the war.
550
00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:15,299
HALK: But then how‐‐
TIM: Cherie, she sees this hole,
551
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,889
this little piece of blue sky,
and she snaps.
552
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,135
She started talking crazy.
553
00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:21,426
She wants to force people out
into the backyard
554
00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:23,350
to let them get eaten by owls.
555
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,098
I thought Cherie and I were
on the same page,
556
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,310
but I realized she was
just like the Duke.
557
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:29,191
In the end,
they both wanted chaos
558
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,978
and didn't stop to think
about the lives
559
00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:32,611
they would ruin on the way.
560
00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:33,688
She fought me.
561
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,570
And I killed Cherie.
562
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:40,235
I killed the love of my life
to save us all.
563
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,740
‐ No, jus‐‐ don't say that!
564
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:44,292
‐ I should've never kept
the Duke's Enforcers in power.
565
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,156
All I did was change their name
to the Walldermen. Clever.
566
00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:50,294
But still, the point of keeping the hole
a secret was to protect people.
567
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,042
‐ Why are you telling me this?
568
00:20:52,044 --> 00:20:53,634
‐ I never asked to be
in charge of this Wall.
569
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,209
It weighs on a man.
570
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:58,094
And I've been carrying
that weight alone for far too long.
571
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,841
Now we can bear it together.
572
00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:01,259
‐ What do you mean?
573
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,811
‐ I leave it up to you:
you can tell everyone the truth.
574
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:06,805
Life will change,
it might be hard, but that's life.
575
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,138
Or you can help me cover this up.
576
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:12,864
We'll hide what Ethan did,
and life can continue.
577
00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:14,856
[sighs]
Either way, it feels good
578
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:16,648
to not be the man on top of it all.
579
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:19,908
So, Halk...
what are you going to do?
580
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:26,451
Wallians, welcome to the first
annual Cherie Day.
581
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:27,963
[crowd cheering, applauding]
582
00:21:27,955 --> 00:21:31,075
Before we get to celebrating
our fallen hero,
583
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:33,503
there is an important
announcement to make.
584
00:21:33,502 --> 00:21:35,462
But you won't be
hearing it from me.
585
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,512
[crowd murmuring]
586
00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:39,506
‐ We captured the murderer.
587
00:21:39,508 --> 00:21:40,468
It was...
588
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:47,465
a rogue cricket
who got in the Wall.
589
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,184
[cheering]
590
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:51,404
‐ That's right!
Thank you, Halk!
591
00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:53,395
You're a hero once again.
592
00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:55,727
We can now go back
to life knowing
593
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:59,152
the Wall is safer
than ever before!
594
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,112
For Cherie!
595
00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:02,162
Cherie! Cherie!
596
00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:03,485
Cherie!
597
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,330
CROWD:
Cherie! Cherie!
598
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,325
Cherie! Cherie!
599
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,827
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
600
00:22:09,830 --> 00:22:12,330
♪
601
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,173
[mimicking laser fire]
47564
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