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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,001 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪ 2 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,013 ♪ 3 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,009 ‐ Hey. Do you have anything that screams "This guy watches golf"? 4 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:12,642 ‐ Oh yeah. 5 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:15,638 This is from Samuel by Sam Jackson for Kangol. 6 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,061 It's the exact model he wore 7 00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,559 to the premiere of his Capital One commercial. 8 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,730 ‐ Mmm. I love it how you can wear it one way 9 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,729 and look like a newsboy and another way and look like a bad boy. 10 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,482 ‐ We patented that. ‐ Could we hurry this up? 11 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,744 Apparently this mall has some sort of gap full of babies 12 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,236 and a locker full of lady's feet. 13 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,198 I wanna see that stuff. 14 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:33,077 ‐ Damn, Terry. Lookin' smooth as eggs. 15 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,825 ‐ Oh! 16 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,077 Red Goobler got a gun! 17 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,460 ‐ What the hell, Korvo? You mangled my Kangol! 18 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,497 ‐ Red Goobler? 19 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,750 Wait a hot fuckin' second, 20 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,671 I thought you killed the Red Goobler last year? 21 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,210 After he hunted us in the Halloween store? 22 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,763 R‐remember that whole thing? ‐ Yeah, I lied about killing him. 23 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,087 He got away, and I kinda just thought 24 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,592 maybe he'd disappear like that eye that used to be on my back. 25 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,264 ‐ Damn it, Terry! That eye is still there! 26 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,473 And so is the Red Goobler! 27 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,892 ‐ Wait, what the fuck, why is he so big? 28 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,060 Last time we saw him, he was about the size of a softball. 29 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,229 Or like a fat baseball. 30 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,727 ‐ I don't know, Terry, he probably grows when I'm stressed out. 31 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,819 Or maybe he eats a lot. Stop trying to poke holes. 32 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,685 ‐ Well, sorry for trying to be consistent. 33 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,740 ‐ Wait, wait, wait, wait! I'm not trying to kill you anymore, I swear! 34 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:15,029 ‐ Oh please, then what's with that sweet‐ass laser gun? 35 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,743 ‐ It's just a barcode scanner. 36 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,753 I'm registering for my wedding. 37 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,542 ‐ This trash isn't getting married. Quick, Korvo, murder him! 38 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,751 Shoot him, shoot him, shoot him, shoot him‐‐ 39 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,420 ‐ Gooby, what's going on? ‐ [sighs] This is my nightmare. 40 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,210 Jen, meet Terry and Korvo. 41 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,763 So yeah, um, Korvo birthed me from his stress, 42 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,757 and I used to yell "get fucked" and try to kill him. 43 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,140 I was a terrible, unhappy person 44 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,678 and, Korvo, I'm so sorry. 45 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,101 ‐ You can shoot your apology in the butt and bury it at sea. 46 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,100 ‐ You're right, I don't deserve forgiveness. 47 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,902 I live with the guilt of how I treated you every day. 48 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,397 ‐ You aren't that guy anymore, Red. 49 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,478 ‐ If I'm not, it's because of you, Jen. 50 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:50,443 Jen pulled me out of a dark place. 51 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,864 Now all I want to do is marry this perfect woman, 52 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,073 wake up every day and make her bread 53 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,833 with this Breville Custom Loaf Bread Maker. 54 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:58,866 [both moan] 55 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,829 ‐ Uh, okay. Well, just don't aim at me with a laser gun. 56 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,331 ‐ Totally my fault. Thanks for understanding. 57 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,384 Hey, I've been dreading this for a while, 58 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,337 but it was honestly nice running into you. 59 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,838 ‐ You too. ‐ Stay cool, brother. 60 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,681 ‐ I didn't buy any of that for a second. Did you? 61 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,796 ‐ Oh, I totally bought it, but my self‐esteem is so low 62 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,183 that I'll go along with whatever you feel. 63 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,930 ‐ He's a liar and he sucks. ‐ I know, right? 64 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,562 Fuck that little asshole! 65 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,138 ‐ I love when you don't have any conviction. 66 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,393 ‐ Then I do too. 67 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,475 KORVO: Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia. 68 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,356 Until the asteroid hit. 69 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,991 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 70 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,066 and escaped into, uh, the space, 71 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,492 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 72 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,158 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 73 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,871 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 74 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,621 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 75 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,043 This is‐‐ this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 76 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,502 [stammers] This is ridiculous. 77 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,382 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 78 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,709 People are stupid. They're always arguing about politics. 79 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,724 Everyone is so busy arguing about politics, 80 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,006 but no one is talking about how the Earth is an egg. 81 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,470 Why aren't they talking about that? 82 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:01,970 ♪ 83 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,107 [whistle blows] 84 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,935 YUMYULACK: What is with humans' obsession with fitness? 85 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,230 Haven't they figured out that cardio causes cancer? 86 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,074 ‐ Oh geez, we're running the mile today? 87 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,949 I wore my fuck‐me pumps. I can't run in them, they're rentals! 88 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,117 ‐ I suck at it too. 89 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:21,235 My legs were made for operating the left‐right orientation pedals 90 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,873 in a hunter kill star tripper, not running in a circle. 91 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,871 ‐ Eh, let's just walk it. Nobody's gonna notice. 92 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,293 ‐ Don't you remember what happened last year? 93 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,542 [both panting] ‐ I'm gonna puke. 94 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,963 ‐ A 15‐minute mile? 95 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,631 I am not letting you freaks bring down the school average. 96 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:37,010 Our math and science budget is based on how fast you little shits can move. 97 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,139 [blows whistle] Everybody's running again! 98 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,346 And if you don't like doing it, 99 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:44,425 you can thank Mr. And Mrs. Kingdom of the Crystal Fucking Skull over here. 100 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,393 [both grunting] 101 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,234 ‐ My noogie rash just cleared up. 102 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,229 ‐ That's it. We are not doing this again. 103 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,781 Access cheating devices. 104 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,277 ‐ Ooh, I didn't know you had a pocket dimension. 105 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,570 ‐ Pretty sweet, right? ‐ Yeah, maybe if it wasn't pink. 106 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,084 ‐ You don't get to choose the color! 107 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,870 ‐ Wait, you're going to use The Time Cheater helmet? 108 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:05,790 Isn't that cheating? 109 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,577 ‐ Oh yeah, it's as cheating as you can get. 110 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:11,461 ‐ But, but all the after‐school programs I watch say cheating never works! 111 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,710 ‐ Look, you want people to be mean to us all year? Hm? 112 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,172 Or do you wanna be cheaters for one quick second? 113 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,013 ‐ Well, alright, but just this once. 114 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,470 We gotta be careful, too. 115 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,970 'Cause according to VeggieTales, 116 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,061 cheating will make you a gay potato. 117 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,887 ‐ That's a chance I'm willing to take. 118 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,231 [sighs] 119 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,812 ‐ What's with the helmets and backpacks? 120 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,862 ‐ Um, you're actually not allowed to ask us about it 121 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:35,686 because they power our gender identity or whatever. 122 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:38,822 ‐ Fine. You two better blow me away with your mile time this year, 123 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,280 or I will fucking kill you. 124 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,031 [gunshot] [both panting] 125 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,788 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 126 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,957 ♪ 127 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,667 [both panting] 128 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:55,497 ‐ You did the entire mile in exactly one minute? 129 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,974 ‐ That was fast, right? So we can stop doing this stupid test? 130 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:01,085 ‐ No! Of course you can't. Because you two are obviously chee... 131 00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:03,183 ‐ Aw no, here it comes. I knew it. 132 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,678 ‐ The best runners we've ever had. 133 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:08,020 These beautiful aliens are going to regionals! 134 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:11,396 ‐ Regionals? Oh no. Are you sure we aren't getting in over our head? 135 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,105 ‐ Oh yeah. We definitely are. 136 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,065 ‐ American Airlines? One ticket to Regionals in Hawaii please. 137 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,146 WOMAN: [on phone] Are you okay with coach? 138 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,490 ‐ Am I okay with what? WOMAN: Coach? 139 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,315 ‐ Yes, I am the coach and the principal. 140 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,910 ‐ Uh, no, I mean economy. 141 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,235 ‐ We all know the economy's great, 142 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,120 but you're not talking me into an expensive ticket. 143 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,657 WOMAN: Let's start over: Nonstop? 144 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,250 ‐ Wow, okay. [deep breath] 145 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,905 [speaking rapidly] One ticket to regionals in your finest seat please. 146 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:32,213 I'd like to pay with a credit card ending in 7624. 147 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,997 WOMAN: I'm just going to put you in first class to end this conversation. 148 00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,251 ‐ Works every time. 149 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,545 ‐ That swole tomato's up to something, I can feel it in my mound. 150 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,760 We need to be ready for an attack. 151 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,429 ‐ I'm going to take half my suicide pills now 152 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,678 and save the other half for when he tortures us. 153 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,640 [gulps] [doorbell rings] 154 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,729 [gasps] ‐ If you're a Girl Scout, say it now, 155 00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:50,845 and I will still shoot you. 156 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,141 ‐ It's Jen! ‐ Please don't kill us! 157 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,354 ‐ Not even! Sorry for dropping by unannounced, 158 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,694 I just really need to ask you guys for a favor. 159 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,280 ‐ Let me guess, you want us to shoot ourselves through our throats? 160 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,146 Well, fat chance! 161 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:03,862 ‐ Uh, no. I‐I was wondering if you two would come to our wedding? 162 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,489 ‐ It's a trap, Terry, run! 163 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,450 ‐ No, stop. Gooby doesn't know I'm here. 164 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,541 You guys are the closest thing he has to family. 165 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,116 If you came to our wedding, it might let him 166 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,831 finally make peace with his past. 167 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,541 ‐ Attend a Red Goobler wedding? 168 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,711 Ha. No fucking way. 169 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,300 ‐ Listen, as long as that goobler's got something else in his life, 170 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:21,336 he won't be trying to cut out your eyes and shit in your mouth. 171 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,840 ‐ You might have a point. Your annual one good idea. 172 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,892 ‐ Nuh‐uh, I had a good idea last week! Remember? 173 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,676 I raised money for our frat by selling pies, 174 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,349 but the bottom of the pie tin had a naked picture 175 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,718 of the Alpha Beta's girlfriends? 176 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,564 That's why we sold so many pies? The whole pie thing? Remember? 177 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,020 ‐ I will attend your ceremony, 178 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:38,020 to trick the Red Goobler into being happy so he won't hurt me anymore. 179 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:41,033 ‐ Fine, but can you also not be this weird at the wedding? 180 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,066 My mom's gonna there and‐‐ 181 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,489 ‐ Shut up. There's only one problem: 182 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,697 you're far too basic to keep Red Goobler satisfied. 183 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,117 And if you break up, he'll become more dangerous than ever before. 184 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,116 ‐ I'm engaged to a goobler. I'm as not basic as they come. 185 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,869 ‐ Your name is Jen, you're very forgettable. 186 00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,001 Where do you shop, T. J. Minimum? 187 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,918 ‐ Sure he loves you now, but once he's sick of you 188 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,957 like we already are, it's back to hunting me! 189 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:01,211 ‐ I'm starting to understand why Red hates you. 190 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,463 Ah! What the hell? ‐ Quick, Terry, 191 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,054 go grab the Rad Awesome Terrific Ray! 192 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,299 ‐ On it! Ah! 193 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,468 ‐ Terry, help! 194 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,811 This Lululemon basic ho is kicking my ass in the most boring way possible! 195 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,388 Shoot her with the Rad Awesome Terrific Ray! 196 00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:15,273 ‐ What the hell is that! 197 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,649 ‐ Hold still, this ray's gonna make you terrific and some other stuff. 198 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:20,226 ‐ Don't you dare shoot me with that! I'll sue you! 199 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,732 ‐ She's getting basic‐er by the second! 200 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:28,374 [squeaks] 201 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:29,775 ‐ Give me that. 202 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,743 You used the wrong ray! This is the Rat Ray! 203 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,663 We needed the R‐A‐T Ray. 204 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,664 It's right there, you idiot. 205 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,424 Can't you read? ‐ Of course I can. 206 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,496 RON HOWARD: He can't. [Arrested Development sting] 207 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,251 ‐ Why would you put them in order of first letter? 208 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,803 ‐ It's alphabetical, Terry! ‐ Oh my god. What does that mean? 209 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,467 Ahh! ‐ Shit! Grab her, grab her! 210 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,137 Oh my god, Terry, if we don't get her back in time for the wedding, 211 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,465 the Red Goobler will hunt us for sure! 212 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,179 ‐ Fuck! Okay, okay, okay, I'll find her and de‐rat her 213 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,771 while you keep the Red Goobler distracted. 214 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:54,925 Come out, Jen. 215 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:58,233 We can go to a coffee shop that has a painting of wings on a wall, 216 00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,688 you can pose in front of it, so fun. 217 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,069 Get the fuck out here! ♪ ice cream truck music playing ♪ 218 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,606 Ice cream break. 219 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,527 [squeaking] 220 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:07,608 I want a Sonic pop. 221 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:10,163 Not the new design Twitter bullied them into. The original! 222 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,237 Oh no, that's too complicated. 223 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,291 Give me a Ninja Turtle pop from the second of the first movies 224 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,365 but not from the cartoons! 225 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,369 Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Rat Jen, no! 226 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,621 Ring me up! Come on, let's go. 227 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,003 Go, ninja! Go, ninja, go! 228 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,541 ♪ jazz music playing ♪ 229 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:25,054 ♪ 230 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:28,429 ♪ 231 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,715 [slot machines beeping] [coins clattering] 232 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,218 ‐ Welcome to your bachelor party! 233 00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,602 ‐ Red already had one of these a month ago. 234 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,268 We built an orphanage in Nicaragua. 235 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,186 ‐ Goddammit, Tanner! You're always undercutting me. 236 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:38,935 ‐ Who are you? 237 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,606 ‐ I'm the guy who dropped mucho shekels on a penthouse suite. 238 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,185 And not to distract you from anything, 239 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,690 only because I love hospitality. 240 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,861 ‐ Oh, that's amazing, Korvo! Thank you! 241 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,400 This is a dream come true. 242 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,323 Ever since I saw Wedding Crashers, 243 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:52,912 I've wanted to have a Hangover‐themed bachelor party. 244 00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,948 ‐ It's your big night, baby. [clattering] 245 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,292 [baby wailing, tiger growling] ‐ Hangover stuff! 246 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,577 [growls] ‐ Whoa! 247 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,790 ‐ This is the last night before Red Goobler sells his land 248 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:03,001 to Jen's family in exchange for her dusty womb. 249 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,171 Let's make it one to remember! 250 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,209 ‐ Hell yeah! Let me just check in with Jen, 251 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,133 and then we can hit the fl‐‐ 252 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,969 ‐ No phones, bro! Bachelor party rules! 253 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,718 Let's hit the strip Indiana Jones passage of time style! 254 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,061 Cocaine for everyone! 255 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,676 Brrrr! [sniffing] 256 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,643 ‐ Oh! ‐ Oh yeah. 257 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:23,023 ♪ 258 00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:33,619 ‐ Wow. Regionals is everything I thought it would be. 259 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,575 Alright, you filthy fucking aliens, if you guys win, 260 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,156 we're gonna be drowning in Hawaiian pussy. 261 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:39,833 Do this for me. 262 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,672 ‐ Oh no, oh man. There are so many people here. 263 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:43,956 We're gonna get caught for sure. 264 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,879 ‐ Okay, look, I'll dial back the Cheater device. 265 00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:47,798 That way, we can compete but still lose. 266 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,626 Then we'll just sip Mai Tais on the beach 267 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,801 while Cooke gets his rocks off. 268 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,049 ‐ Okay. 269 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,680 ANNOUNCER: [on speakers] On your marks. Get set. 270 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:55,932 [gunshot] 271 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,933 [panting] 272 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,524 ‐ Holy fuck! Yes! 273 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,149 [crowd cheering] 274 00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,305 ‐ Thirty seconds? You son of a bitch! 275 00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:06,864 We went even faster that time! 276 00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:08,357 ‐ Shit! I must've adjusted it the wrong way! 277 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,438 ‐ Maybe nobody noticed! [clears throat] 278 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,704 ‐ Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you two‐‐ 279 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,946 ‐ Oh god, we're so sorry. 280 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,658 A homeless guy in a Hulu sweatshirt made us do it! 281 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,210 We don't even like going fast. 282 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:23,535 ‐ Stacy Grabowski, this is my partner Flart. 283 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,000 We're with the Federal Student Athlete Police. 284 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,211 There's something suspicious going on here. 285 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:29,382 ‐ D‐uh. What do you mean? 286 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:30,959 ‐ It's suspicious that 287 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,634 you two aren't running in the Olympics! 288 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,973 You're so fast! 289 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,797 ‐ Holy shit. I saw that coming a mile away. Get it? 290 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,563 ‐ We're here scouting for the US Teen Olympic track team, 291 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,266 and we just need you on our roster. 292 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,096 The race is this Sunday in Moscow. 293 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:46,191 ‐ Now we'll finally be able to beat those no‐good cheatin' Russians 294 00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:50,028 with the most morally sound pair of supersonic American children! 295 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,645 ‐ Ruskie Pusskie, here we comski! 296 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,703 ‐ Mm, yeah. 297 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,659 ‐ [slurring] We're doing a blood pact. 298 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,328 Hurry before I get dizzy. 299 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,453 [all gasp] Shit, sorry, 300 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,793 I forgot how much my blood loves the taste of human blood. 301 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:06,333 Classic Vegas moment. 302 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,173 [squeaking] 303 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,667 ‐ Jen, get that tight rat ass back here, girl! 304 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,133 Ooh, that's right, 305 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:14,049 it's the entire series of Terriers on Blu‐Ray. 306 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,259 Rats love Terriers, don't you? 307 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,970 There you go. Good girl. 308 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,680 They should have never canceled it. 309 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,100 What the fuck were they thinking? 310 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,098 Nah. Ah, damn it! Which one is Jen? 311 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,600 Ah, they all have great asses! 312 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,311 Goddammit. Okay, Terry, buckle down. 313 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,441 This is your moment to shine. I will not rest until‐‐ 314 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,898 Ooh, ice cream! 315 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,689 ‐ Weird how he yelled, "I'm invincible!" 316 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,153 before proving the exact opposite. 317 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,492 ‐ You put in six bullets! 318 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:36,987 Don't you know how to play Russian Roulette? 319 00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:39,579 ‐ No, I don't. I thought I'd figure it out as we went along. 320 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,485 And now I know. Less bullets, got it. 321 00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:42,793 Don't worry, I can fix this. 322 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,203 ‐ [gasps] Whoa! 323 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,293 ‐ I don't want to go into too much detail here, 324 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,790 but, uh, it turns out only some dogs go to Heaven. 325 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,252 The other dogs are racist. [whispers] White dogs. 326 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:54,173 ♪ 327 00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:55,923 ‐ Come on, come on. [grunting] 328 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,514 [rats squeaking] 329 00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,719 Ahh, why didn't I just do two trips? 330 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,466 Hopefully, none of those were Jen. 331 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,595 AISHA, I need a machine that puts wedding dresses on rats. 332 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,691 AISHA: Oooh! That's machine 25. 333 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:14,479 ‐ Come on, where are you, you basic bride. 334 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,114 Probably buying a rug at Cost Plus World Market. 335 00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,414 [laughter] 336 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,117 ‐ What a night of distracting activities! 337 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:25,907 ‐ I haven't had to bury a body in the desert in quite some time. 338 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,793 Thank you for tonight. I know you put a lot of thought into it. 339 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,460 ‐ Anything for you, Red Goobler. 340 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,299 ‐ Hey, would it be crazy if I changed my name to Chris? 341 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:36,625 ‐ It's a strong, beautiful name. It suits you... Chris. 342 00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:38,382 ‐ Here. Let me see your hand. 343 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,433 ‐ Ooh, your hands are so warm. 344 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,757 ‐ Look at your stress line. 345 00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:44,562 It begins at your palm and travels all the way to your heart. 346 00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:47,056 ‐ Mm. That feels good. 347 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,404 Are we doing this? 348 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,778 [rhythmic wailing] ‐ Hey! Hey! Dude. Buddy. 349 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,356 Come on, wake up. I need my stuff! 350 00:12:57,361 --> 00:13:00,161 Ugh. How is he sleeping through that alarm, it's like blaring. 351 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,525 [wailing gets louder] 352 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,869 ‐ I told you you'd get fucked. 353 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,001 ‐ Uhh, I didn't know it was foreshadowing. 354 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,328 [both laugh] 355 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:14,464 ‐ Oh God, I just cheated on Jen, 356 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,751 and I don't regret it! 357 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,304 Does that mean we shouldn't get married? 358 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,007 ‐ No. You still need to get married. 359 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:21,087 To me! We're Runaway Bride‐ing this shit! 360 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,644 [glass shatters] [both laughing] 361 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,433 ‐ Ugh. This is it. We're done. 362 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,354 Someone's gonna find out we're big cheaters 363 00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:34,023 and then they're gonna kill us just like they did with Lance Armstrong. 364 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,612 ‐ He wasn't killed, they just took one nut. 365 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:38,237 ‐ But we don't have any nuts! What are they gonna take? 366 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,735 ‐ Maybe this isn't as big of a deal as it feels. 367 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,697 Nobody pays attention to the Teen Olympics. 368 00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:44,068 I haven't even heard of it before. 369 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,986 ‐ Michelle Obama? 370 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,374 ‐ Jesse, Yummy! 371 00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:51,000 My two American superstars. 372 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,828 ‐ Um, hi. What's up, MO? 373 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,253 ‐ Ever since I became President in this timeline, 374 00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:57,342 I've been looking for heroes. 375 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,297 You two are the image of honesty and integrity, 376 00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:03,549 which is why I bet the entire US treasury 377 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:05,102 on you to win today. 378 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,635 ‐ Aw, man, that's legal? ‐ Hell yeah. 379 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,978 Bush was riding high after 9/11, and he lost it all on WrestleMania. 380 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:14,095 ‐ So the entire fate of the country relies on us winning honestly? 381 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:16,774 ‐ Yes. And if you lose, we'll have to close America, 382 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,533 and everyone in the world will know it's your fault. 383 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,195 ‐ I'll admit this has gone way too far. ‐ You think? 384 00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:25,948 ‐ Let's just say we didn't eat enough McDonald's 385 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,159 so now we have explosive diarrhea and can't run. 386 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,080 ‐ No. Enough is enough. 387 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,618 We can't just keep cheating and hoping nobody kills us. 388 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:34,673 This is done. ‐ You're so right. 389 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,706 It's time for us to stand up and come clean. 390 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,340 This charade ends now. 391 00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:41,797 Because what good is the fame, the money, the sex, 392 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,588 the American Express commercials with Tina Fey and Michael Che? 393 00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,143 ♪ patriotic music playing ♪ 394 00:14:46,637 --> 00:14:49,927 ‐ You've won the hearts of millions with your speed 395 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,182 but mostly with your integrity. 396 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,274 ‐ Thank you. ‐ You betcha. 397 00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:55,598 ‐ All of us in the country have chipped in 398 00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,944 to get you a little present. 399 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,860 Ten million dollars! 400 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:03,028 A million for each second you took to run the mile today. 401 00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,568 Woo! So fast. 402 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,571 [people cheering] [Pupa sobbing] 403 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:10,793 ‐ We should've done this sooner. 404 00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:12,576 I've been searching for a life‐mate for years 405 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,459 not knowing one was inside me all along. 406 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,956 ‐ I'm yours forever, Korvy. 407 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,088 ‐ Quick, love, Apple Maps the nearest chapel. 408 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,045 ‐ There's a fast casual Mormon castle two miles away. 409 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:24,546 ‐ Perfect! Let's listen to a podcast together, as a couple, while we drive. 410 00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:28,140 PODCASTER: Today, we'll be talking about the sound of brass. 411 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:28,926 Brass tones‐‐ 412 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,679 ‐ Can we, uh, listen to something else? 413 00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:31,971 ‐ Come on, give it a chance. 414 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,314 ‐ If this is going to work, we need to be honest with each other. 415 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,649 And I honestly hate everything about this podcast. 416 00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:39,815 ‐ Fine, my sweet. What do you want to listen to? 417 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,438 JOE ROGAN: See, Ayahuasca might actually be 418 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,322 the tree of life we've been searching for. 419 00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,609 The healing properties are astronomical. 420 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,913 Free guns don't come free. You have to lick feet. 421 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,657 ‐ This guy sucks! I don't like this. 422 00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:53,369 ‐ What? Joe Rogan is our generation's Maya Angelou. 423 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,500 ‐ Our generation already has a Maya Angelou. 424 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,417 It's Mark Cuban! 425 00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:58,165 ‐ Hey, hun? ‐ Yes, darling? 426 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,086 ‐ I love you, but you sound like an asshole 427 00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,295 when you say stuff like that. 428 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:03,125 ‐ How can I sound like an asshole when I don't even have one? 429 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,470 Also, what were you fucking me in earlier in that one scene? 430 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,835 [gasps] Dammit, I'm gooblering! See what you made me do? 431 00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:10,223 ‐ Well, you liked what I made you do last night, slut! 432 00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:15,643 ‐ This isn't gonna work, is it, Chris? ‐ I'm afraid it isn't. 433 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:19,523 What have I done? I can't believe I ruined what I had with Jen. 434 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,941 I'm an idiot. I al‐‐ I always do this. 435 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:23,150 ‐ Maybe it's not too late. 436 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,610 May‐‐ maybe we can get you back for the wedding. 437 00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:26,450 ‐ We don't have time. ‐ We have plenty of‐‐ 438 00:16:26,445 --> 00:16:29,485 Shit! We gotta hurry! I forgot time always moves forward on this planet. 439 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,449 [tires squealing] 440 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:32,533 [horn blaring] 441 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:33,954 RED GOOBLER: You're such a bad driver. 442 00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,082 ‐ I fucking hate you. 443 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,042 ‐ [sighs] Tell me about yourself. 444 00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,829 ‐ Squeeeeeeee. 445 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,082 ‐ Wait. Jen? ‐ Reee, reee, squeee. 446 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:41,964 ‐ Dammit! You're a rat. 447 00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:43,421 ‐ Squeeee. 448 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,090 ‐ Fuck it! I just have to make you awesome. 449 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,628 Red Goobler won't even notice the difference. 450 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,005 ‐ Ree. Reeee. 451 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,140 ‐ Squee, squee. 452 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,386 ‐ That's it, you guys sound cool as hell! 453 00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:56,349 ‐ Hey, just want to say again, 454 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,230 congrats on winning everything one could win 455 00:16:58,227 --> 00:16:59,557 and doing it without cheating. 456 00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,055 ‐ Ugh, I can't take it anymore! 457 00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,484 When are we going to learn a lesson? 458 00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:05,652 ‐ Usually getting away with things makes me feel good, 459 00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:06,691 but this blows. 460 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,073 Getting into USC as a long snapper was the last straw. 461 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:12,451 ‐ Usually at this point in our adventures, we've learned a lesson. 462 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,279 I feel like ants are crawling on my skin. 463 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,794 Is it cold? Is it hot? Oh god, I'm sweating and freezing! 464 00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,207 ‐ We're in lesson withdrawal! 465 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:20,745 We're gonna keep feeling this way unless we learn some lesson. 466 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,539 ‐ But how? What can we do? 467 00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,043 ‐ Wait! This whole time, we've been cheating. 468 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,714 But what if cheated even more than ever before 469 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,683 and used another sci‐fi device to double down on cheating? 470 00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:31,295 Do we have anything that teaches a lesson? 471 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,601 ‐ Well, we do have that Lesson‐alyzer helmet, 472 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,005 but, I mean, we don't wanna use that, do we? 473 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,604 [rumbling] 474 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,269 [bell dings] 475 00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:40,936 Did it work? Did you learn a lesson? 476 00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:43,056 ‐ Oh yeah, and it feels amazing. 477 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,403 I learned "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." 478 00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:47,189 ‐ Oooh! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! 479 00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:49,898 [bell dings] Oh yeah, that's the good stuff. 480 00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:52,203 ‐ What did you get? ‐ "Beer before liquor, never sicker." 481 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,617 ‐ Oh, that's a good one. 482 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,445 ‐ You want another hit? ‐ Yeah, fuck yeah. 483 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,450 ‐ I need your help moving 15 to 20 rat women 484 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,662 to a Red Goobler wedding. Come on! 485 00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:00,662 ‐ That's the most Solar Opposites thing I've ever heard. 486 00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,584 [bell dings] ‐ Ohhh yeah. 487 00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:05,003 "The thicker the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'." 488 00:18:05,002 --> 00:18:07,172 I gotta remember that when I'm at the couch store. 489 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,264 ♪ church organ music playing ♪ 490 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:12,176 ♪ 491 00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,966 ‐ We must never speak about what happened in that hotel room. 492 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,056 I'm talking about the fucking. 493 00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,555 ‐ No shit, you idiot. Why would you bring that up right now? 494 00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:20,638 I'm about to get married. 495 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:23,402 ‐ Sorry, I just hope that you and Jen stay happily married, 496 00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,105 keeping us safe from your repressed rage. 497 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,395 [door opens] 498 00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:29,148 ♪ 499 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:34,284 [squeaking] 500 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,616 ‐ Multiple brides? Are we doing a YouTube thing? 501 00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:41,209 [crowd gasping, screaming] Jen! Which one's Jen? 502 00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:43,535 ‐ Aw, man, if you don't know, then I definitely don't. 503 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:46,210 ‐ She's not here! Who the hell are these brides? 504 00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,960 ‐ Terry, what the hell? You‐‐ you didn't find her? 505 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,801 ‐ What do you mean "find her"? What the fuck is going on? 506 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:51,967 ‐ Oh wow, where to begin. 507 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,425 I turned that bitch into a rat. 508 00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:54,375 ‐ What? [bell dings] 509 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,894 ‐ "Ass, grass, or gas. Nobody rides for free." 510 00:18:56,887 --> 00:19:00,097 ‐ Fuck you, you Shlorpian shit bags! You've ruined my life! 511 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:01,308 ‐ You know what, screw you, Red Chris! 512 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,268 You pillow talk told me you didn't really love Jen. 513 00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:05,688 ‐ Yeah, this wasn't our fault‐‐ Wait, pillow talk? 514 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,357 Did you two doink? ‐ Nothing. Forget it. 515 00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:09,066 We banged. Shut up about it. [bell dings] 516 00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:12,356 ‐ The best way to cope with stress is to confront it. 517 00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:15,661 Only then can you truly be happy. 518 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:18,196 Or at least satisfied a little bit. 519 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,410 ‐ She's right. You are my stress, Red Goobler. 520 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,910 I, I should have never gotten caught up trying to manage you or work with you. 521 00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:25,504 I have to set boundaries. 522 00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:26,749 By lasering your ass! 523 00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:29,043 ‐ Ah! [crowd screaming] 524 00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:32,839 ‐ Get fucked! 525 00:19:33,632 --> 00:19:35,382 ‐ Goddammit, now we're back where we started. 526 00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:37,264 ‐ But we all learned a valuable lesson. 527 00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:38,721 At least you did, about stress, 528 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,390 and I guess the replicants did about cheating. 529 00:19:40,389 --> 00:19:41,639 I‐I didn't learn anything at all. 530 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,810 ‐ Give Terry the lesson helmet 531 00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,558 so he can learn a lesson like the rest of us. 532 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:46,602 [rumbling] 533 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:47,273 [bell dings] ‐ Whoa, 534 00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:48,811 I just learned that sometimes 535 00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:51,284 emotional stories don't fit into a rigid structure, 536 00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:53,565 and you just have to embrace the chaos and not worry about it. 537 00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:55,239 ‐ As a family. 538 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,945 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 539 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,470 ♪ 540 00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:22,055 ‐ If you feel like you haven't learned a lesson, please visit 541 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:26,185 www.thesolaropposites.com/lessonalyzer. 542 00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:28,935 You get the first lesson for free, but it's on the honor system after that. 543 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,397 So you have to send us money. 544 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,607 And if you agree to send the money, then you've learned a lesson. 545 00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:35,438 And if you don't, well, you're a dick that steals from cartoons. 546 00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:38,994 ♪ 547 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:41,489 ♪ theme music playing ♪ 548 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:45,701 ♪ 549 00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,825 [mimicking laser fire] 44226

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