All language subtitles for Shoplifters.of.the.World.2021.720p1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]-English

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M_I_SForEver

[RADIO STATIONS
CHANGE RAPIDLY]

FULL METAL MICKEY:
Good evening, metal heads,

Full Metal Mickey here with you
on KISS 101 FM,

all the way through
to the wee hours

with my monthly metal marathon.

Just me, you,
and megawatts of metal!

Bang your heads, Denver.

[OZZY OSBOURNE'S "BARK AT
THE MOON" PLAYS ON RADIO]

? Screams break the silence ?

[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]

? Waking from
the dead of night ?

- ? Vengeance is boiling ?
- [DOOR CLOSES]

? He's returned
to kill the light ?

[INHALES SHARPLY]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

? Years spent in torment ?

? Buried in a nameless grave ?

? Now he has risen ?

? Miracles would have to save ?

? Those that the beast
is looking for ?

? Listen in awe
and you'll hear him ?

? Bark at the moon ?

? Hey, yeah, bark at the moon ?

[THE SMITHS'
"BIGMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN" PLAYS]

? Sweetness, sweetness ?

? I was only joking ?

? When I said I'd like to ?

? Smash every tooth
in your head ?

? Oh ?

? Sweetness, sweetness ?

? I was only joking
when I said ?

? By rights you should be
bludgeoned in your bed ?

? And now I know
how Joan of Arc felt ?

? Now I know
how Joan of Arc felt ?

? As the flames rose
to her Roman nose ?

? And her Walkman
started to melt ?

Hey, I'm going out.

CLEO: Mom.

- Helen!
- [GASPS]

Dave Kendall here
with the music news,

First up, a breaking story
from the U.K.

After months of speculation
in the press,

The Smiths have officially
gone under.

[CANS CLATTERING]

The Smiths,
one of the all time greats,

strange ways,
there they go.

CLEO: No!

[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

DAVE KENDALL: Formed in
Manchester in 1982,

The Smiths swiftly
became the voice

of a doomed generation.

They emerged into
the uncertain arena

of early '80s Britain

like a fully formed gang,

and invited you to join.

MORRISSEY: I feel The Smiths
create their world

and not many groups do that.

And you can either go in
or you can say no.

And it's your choice, really.

We wanted to ditch everything
that people

superficially think
is rock 'n' roll...

leather trousers
and long hair and drugs.

We had something that no one
else could really grasp,

which was, like,
totally ours exclusively.

REPORTER:
Do you have many friends?

No, I don't.

REPORTER:
Those that you have,

are they
in the music industry?

They're in the group.
They're in The Smiths.

REPORTER: So The Smiths
are your only friends?

As far as I can see, yeah.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[BELL DINGS]

Hey, Cleo.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

UNCLE SHADRACK: Hey, look, here.
What are we talking about?

No depressing crap in the store.

The Smiths just broke up.

Oh, maybe because
they called their record

"The World Won't Listen."

Way to go, geniuses.

Check this out.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

Can't you just picture
fucking to this?

Before you close up,

I need you to re-price
all the CDs.

And you have to check
the security strips.

All of them?
All the CDs.

Wait a minute.

Yes, all of them.

And the tapes.

Kids keep peeling them off.

You know what?

If you did your job
for like two seconds,

instead of daydreaming
about Depressed Mode,

half of my stock wouldn't be
walking out of here every day.

I'm only making money
on sunglasses now

FULL METAL MICKEY: KISS 101,
the rock of Denver.

How can you stand it?

There are times
I could murder him.

- [IMITATES GUNSHOTS]
- CLEO: Dean. Dean.

Dean.

It's not loaded.

Just to scare the shoplifters.

So what do we do now?

Our music died today,
and nobody even cares.

[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

I wish there was a way to get
all the posers in this town

to take notice.

DEAN: You know,
The Smiths may be dead,

but all the albums
are still here,

all the records,
seven-inch singles, 12-inches,

We have all
those great bootlegs.

That'll be here forever.

No one can ever
take it away from us.

I hope you're right.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

So you want to hang out?

I can close up early.

Mm.

My friend is going off
to basic training tomorrow,

and everyone is in town
for the weekend to say goodbye.

So...

You know of any good parties?

DEAN: Me? No.

I was gonna stay in, maybe,

and make you a tape
of this new band

from Manchester.

New band from Manchester?

Oh, sacrilege.

- Happy Mondays.
- Happy.

[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I hate them already.

- I did have another idea.
- What is it?

Something that would go down
in musical history.

But I can't tell you what it is.

Yeah?

Impress me.

[THE SMITHS' "SHOPLIFTERS OF
THE WORLD UNITE" PLAYS]

? Learn to love me,
assemble the ways ?

? Now, today, tomorrow,
and always ?

? My only weakness
is a listed crime ?

? My only weakness is,
well, never mind, never mind, ?

? Oh ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Unite and take over ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Hand it over, hand it over,
hand it over ?

? Learn to love me
and assemble the ways ?

- [BALLOON POPS]
- Aah!

[HORN HONKING]

Billy, that rude girl is here.

Damn it, ma.

Damn it, yourself.

She's just sitting out there
beeping.

Who does that sort of thing?

- Don't be out too late.
- I know.

- Big day tomorrow.
- I know.

We're just so proud of you, son.

Okay, I got to go.

? World ?

Nice buzzcut, G.I. Jerkoff.

? Shoplifters of the world ?

I don't understand
how The Smiths can break up,

but we live in a world
where Wang Chung

and Mr. Mister still exist.

Or Flock of Seagulls.

Yeah.

I got you a present.

Oh, sweet.

What is it?
Black Flag, Misfits?

- Yeah.
- Wait, did you steal these?

But I told you I wanted
to go with you.

Dean only lets me steal
when I'm in there alone.

Okay, well,
you can have these back.

Oh my God.
You're such a square.

What?

Getting in character
for tomorrow.

Tomorrow I become a man.

Oh, tomorrow,
you become one of them.

Which is why
I'm going to get you

as fucked up
as possible tonight

to prevent you from making

the biggest mistake
of your life.

Hi, can I help you kids
find something?

Where's the cyanide section?

If you're so miserable here,

why don't you do
something about it?

Apply to a better college,
go start a band,

make a choice on something.

[SCOFFS]

Oh, you'd make
a great flight attendant.

I want to do
something different.

I don't want to be like
everyone else.

[A CERTAIN RATIO'S
"AND THEN SHE SMILES" PLAYS]

Is it too much?

You can never be overdressed
or overeducated.

Your bowtie isn't tied.

It's a look.

That gay librarian look?

Yeah, I'm not gay.

- I didn't say.
- Robert Smith isn't gay.

- I didn't mean...
- Morrissey isn't gay.

Bowie wears eyeliner.
Everyone wears eyeliner.

Forget it.

You look cool.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

God!

I am so sick
of being celibate.

We made a vow.
No meat, no sex.

That was before
we went to college.

What happens next year
when you go back to England

to live with your dad, huh?

Lots of postcards.

We've been dating
since middle school.

Why are we even still together?

Because I love you.

[HORN HONKING]

Come on.

[THE SMITHS' "THERE IS A LIGHT
THAT NEVER GOES OUT" PLAYS]

? Take me out tonight ?

? Where there's music
and there's people ?

PATRICK: Good to see you!

? And they're young and alive ?

- ? Driving in your car ?
- SHEILA: [GASPS]

Oh, my God!

Who are you?!

I'll be me.

Why did you join the Army,

you fucking idiot?

Hey, uh, war's stupid.

Come here.
Touch it, though.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Do me some eyeliner.

Alright.

You know what's stupid?

Is you going to London
and leaving all of us behind,

This could be the last time
we ever see each other.

Shut up.

You guys suck.

It's like
you're breaking up the band.

They don't know, do they?

Know what?

They don't know it's over.

What's over?

CLEO: The Smiths broke up.

- PATRICK: What?
- SHEILA: What?

- PATRICK: No.
- SHEILA: No.

You're telling me

I woke up hoping that everything
might change for the better.

Like, maybe today
will be different, you know?

Then I got home,
and I heard the news.

A strange fear. gripped me.

? But then a strange fear
gripped me ?

? And I just couldn't ask ?

? Take me out tonight ?

? Oh, take me anywhere ?

? I don't care, I don't care
I don't care ?

? Driving in your car ?

? I never, never
want to go home ?

? Because I haven't got one,
la-di-dum ?

? Oh, I haven't got one ?

? Oh, oh ?

? And if a double-decker bus ?

? Crashes into us ?

? To die by your side ?

? Is such a heavenly way
to die ?

? And if a 10-ton truck ?

? Kills the both of us ?

? To die by your side ?

? Well, the pleasure,
the privilege is mine ?

? Oh, there is a light
and it never goes out ?

Yo, it's a car
full of faggots.

Fucking freaks.

Your music sucks!

[MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

We see you again tonight,
you're dead.

Fuck you!

Denver, so much to answer for.

What is the most wonderful place

to be able to be
a bedridden, deaf mute?

As soon as I have
enough money saved up,

I'm going to move to Paris

and live with Bruno
on the East Bank.

Oh, you mean, the left bank.

It'll be just like the film
"Betty Blue,"

except I won't go crazy
in the end.

Somebody stop her.

I think we heard
this one before.

CLEO: Shut up.

I think it's romantic.

Hey, Joe.

Little Cleo, how are you doing?

I'm a little sad tonight,
actually.

Oh, well,
I'm sorry to hear that.

How can I help you?

I think you know.

JOE: So young and so sad.

It's such a shame when you have
such a pretty smile.

Pretty girls make graves.

That's what the man says.

FULL METAL MICKEY:
Good evening, metal heads.

Full Metal Mickey here with you
on KISS 101 FM,

all the way through
to the wee hours

with my monthly
metal marathon.

Just me, you,
and megawatts of metal!

Bang your heads, Denver.

[OZZY OSBOURNE'S "BARK AT
THE MOON" PLAYS ON RADIO]

? Screams break the silence ?

? Waking from
the dead of night ?

? Vengeance is boiling ?

? Waking from
the dead of night ?

? Vengeance is boiling ?

? He's returned
to kill the light ?

Don't! Put your hands up!

Turn around, God damn it.

Stop playing this shitty music.

Judas fucking Priest,
what do you want?

Put your hands up.

? Bark at the moon ?

[LAUGHS]

Do hope Brian Briggs
will be here tonight

Why Bi-Bri from Capitol Hill?

The guy who wears tights
and tuxedo jackets?

CLEO: That's the one.

Brian always knows
where the best parties are.

If he's not here in an hour,
we'll split.

WOMAN: Are you kidding me?

- Who's that girl?
- That look is so borderline?

[BOTH LAUGH]

I need to check my hair.

RITA:
Reagan cares more about UFOs

- than he does about AIDS.
- BABS: Totally.

He's never even said the word.

I know about.

- Hey, Sheila.
- Hey, Babs.

Hey, Rita.

My brother is an act-up.

He's already been arrested
five times,

fighting for the cause.

Now, that's
a real American hero.

Totally.
Oliver North can suck it.

So what are you guys
doing tonight?

We need to get Billy fucked up.

- Ooh.
- Come to Sandi's kegger.

Her hot brother David
will be there

with a bunch of older guys.

Okay, he's such a meathead.

Want some? It's viibryd.

Cut with no dose.
My coke dealer got busted.

No, thanks.

Ain't nobody trying to hear
Bon Jovi in here, man.

You're not playing Bon Jovi.

Trust me,
you've got to hear this.

Okay.

FULL METAL MICKEY:
I'd like to apologize

to my regular listeners,

but there is, in fact,

a young man
in the radio station

pointing a gun.

Hey, chill...
chill out, man.

Okay. Okay.

So, um, for the rest
of the night

to commemorate the end...
oh, God.

Are you serious?

To commemorate the end of
the greatest band of our time,

I will be bringing you
the music of The Smiths.

Don't touch that dial.

FULL METAL MICKEY: All night.

Rest in peace.

[The Smiths'
"The Queen Is Dead" plays

? I don't bless them ?

? Farewell ?

? To this land's
cheerless marshes ?

? Hemmed in like a boar
between archers ?

? Her very Lowness
with her head in a sling ?

? I'm truly sorry but it sounds
like a wonderful thing ?

? I say Charles
don't you ever crave ?

? To appear on the front
of the "Daily Mail" ?

? Dressed in your mother's
bridal veil? ?

SHEILA:
I'll dance with you.

[LAUGHTER]

And so I checked all the
registered historical facts

And I was shocked into shame
to discover

? How I'm the 18th
male descendent ?

? Of some old queen or other ?

"The Queen Is Dead."

You're dead, pal.

- Hey, drop the bat.
- Come on.

You got your stupid
request on the air, okay?

So pack up
your pansy-ass records,

and get the hell
out of my radio station.

Don't make me use this.
I'll shoot, I swear.

Yeah? I dare you.

Look at you.
You're pathetic.

Fuck you and fuck The Smiths!

[GUNSHOT]

You just shot Gene Simmons
in the face.

That was low, man.

Play the B side.

It's going to be
a long night.

[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

Maybe he'll rock 'n' roll
suicide himself live on air.

CLEO: I know who it is.

Who?

It's Dean from the record store.

I was in there today.

Stealing tapes?

CLEO: He was almost as upset
about The Smiths breaking up

as I was.

And he had a gun, you know?

Cute, clumsy, and shy.

Doesn't seem the type.

You think he's cute?

What would you die for?

The love of a good woman.

Come on.

Where are you going?

Girl talk.

SHEILA: Are you really going
to run away to Europe?

I don't know.

Are you and Patrick
still pretending to be a couple?

I do love him.

Okay, but...

You want your freedom.

[SIGHS]

We had sex once.

Once.

And then he discovered
The Smiths,

and it was all
no meat, no sex.

And I get it.
Morrissey's celibate.

But God damn it, I'm horny.

Do you remember the day
we met Cleo?

I take it you are referring
to the glorious summer

after freshman year
when we all worked at Safeway.

She weighed her tits on
that vegetable scale.

[LAUGHS]

Priceless.

Do you ever wonder...?

Wonder what?

What that would be like?

Are you serious?

No, no, of course not.

I do miss that job, though.

The life of a bag boy
was just so simple.

It's so old fashioned to work.

I'd much rather lounge
about the house all day

looking fascinating.

See, this is why I want to
introduce him to Brian Briggs.

He's totally been
with girls and guys.

But why?

Before he flies away to London,

he needs to spread
his wings a little.

SHEILA: Really?

Well, then so do I.

? I wanna go home ?

? I don't want to stay ?

DEAN: Side one.

[SCOFFS]
"This Charming Man"?

What, are you kidding me?

Who the hell writes a song
called "This Charming Man"?

God, I hate The Smiths.

This depressive haircut
bullshit.

- Just play it.
- Alright, I am.

[THE SMITHS'
"THIS CHARMING MAN" PLAYS]

? Punctured bicycle
on a hillside desolate ?

? Will Nature make
a man of me yet? ?

Who's the guitar player?

DEAN: Johnny fucking Marr.

Oh, and he plays harmonica.

Fuck, man.

"Bicycles
and desolate hillsides"?

I was going to drop
the new Kiss album.

Have you heard it yet, dude?

Of course I've heard it.

It's cheesy.
You're cheesy.

This station vomits Cheez Whiz
all over Denver.

Alright.
Alright, pipe down.

But if you are
going to shoot me,

please let me die on air,
so the people at Denver

can hear my brain splatter
against the wall,

because at least
that would be rock 'n' roll.

DEAN: Just don't do
anything stupid, okay?

You mean like play The Smiths
on metal marathon?

[SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE]

MAN: This is the Denver police.

We've gotten calls.

Everything alright up there?

Get rid of him.

Or what?

Alright.

Good evening, officer.

It's a nice night, isn't it?

MAN: It sure is.

You alright up there?
We've gotten reports.

Oh, right, about the, uh...
the deranged hijacker

waving a gun around,

forcing me to play
British records

about dead queens and bicycles.

MAN: What?

Oh, nothing. Nothing.
Everything's fine.

How about a request
for your trouble, sir?

Uh, Elvis?

FULL METAL MICKEY:
I'll see what I can do.

- Are you nuts?
- FULL METAL MICKEY: What?

It's the Denver Police
Department we're talking about.

Come on, what's next?

We got time for a few more

before he calls in
the National Guard.

Unless, of course, you want
to blow your brains out.

Personally, if I had nothing
but The Smiths

to listen to all day...

DEAN: Play the first track.

Why are you doing this to me?

DEAN: The Smiths broke up.

You should consider
a candlelight vigil,

something slightly
less illegal.

It called for a more
dramatic gesture.

Yeah, well, if the Denver
suicide rate spikes overnight,

it's on your head, not mine.

I tried that once.

Tried what?

Suicide?

Are you serious?

It didn't work, obviously.

Not that it would have
made much of a difference.

I do wonder what's really left
to live for these days.

How about good music?

[THE SMITHS' "PANIC" PLAYS]

? Panic on the streets
of London ?

? Panic on the streets
of Birmingham ?

MORRISSEY: In a live capacity,

the audience seems to be
very celebratory,

almost violent,
very, very wild,

which I'm quite happy about.

? The Leeds side-streets
that you slip down ?

? I wonder to myself ?

I think people
don't really have

many opportunities in life

to let themselves go slightly
and express themselves

and to step out of themselves,
and so on,

and be a little insane.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

? Burn down the disco ?

? Hang the blessed DJ ?

? Because the music
that they constantly play ?

? It says nothing to me
about my life ?

? Hang the blessed DJ ?

? Because the music
they constantly play ?

? On the Leeds side-streets
that you slip down ?

? Provincial towns
you jog 'round ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ,
hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ,
hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ,
hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ,
hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ,
hang the DJ ?

? Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ?

It's fucking "Metal Guru"
by T.Rex.

Talent borrows.
Genius steals.

Oh, "hang the DJ"?

Please tell me you brought rope.

He's just protesting
the vapidity of the music

that stations like this

cram down our throats
day and night...

hair bands, boy bands,

endless loops
of moldy old classics,

pre-processed pop, Wham!,
Whitney, White Snake.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy boy.
Leave Whitney out of this.

DEAN: It's all the same.

- But it isn't.
- DEAN: Isn't it?

What's the message?
Dance party.

Have fun. Get laid.

- Sounds good to me.
- DEAN: It's not reality.

Reality sucks.

Music is an escape.

This music is salvation.

[SIGHS]

Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned,

I've let the record run out.

Alright, maestro, what's next?

DEAN: You pick.

Oh, DJ's choice?

How novel.

Alright.

This one's for you, kid.

He may not be sweet,
he may not be tender,

but he is certainly
a hooligan.

- Play the song.
- Gods of Metal, forgive me,

it's another one by The Smiths.

[THE SMITHS' "SWEET AND TENDER
HOOLIGAN" PLAYS]

Hand it over.

Ooh.

I look supernaturally ugly.

You're beautiful.

Why so obsessed with gloom?

So what the hell
are we going to do tonight?

Sandi Goodrich
is having a kegger.

Oh, a suburban Denver kegger
sounds dreadfully unfashionable.

Oh, maybe your
bisexual boyfriend Brian

will make an appearance.

Well, I suppose it's either that
or stare at broken lightbulbs.

I don't know how you can stand
going to community college here.

I had to get out
of this humdrum town.

BILLY: Yeah, you think
you can catch me?

It's not like
I don't have ambition.

I just thought everything
would be different for me.

It's those obstacles that
only you can see for yourself

and the horrible burden
of time...

...crushing me.

? Et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera, et cetera ?

? In the midst of life
we are in debt ?

? Et cetera ?

[IMITATING ORSON WELLES]
This is Orson Welles.

And you've been listening
to "War of the Worlds."

[NORMAL VOICE]
Just kidding, Denver.

It's Full Metal Mickey.

Or should I say
Mad Manchester Mickey.

Broadcasting to you live
from the funeral pyre.

That's right, people.

The Smiths
have gone up in flames,

and we are burning it down
one song at a time...

at gunpoint.

But my sweet and tender
vinyl terrorist

has agreed to allow me
to open up the phone lines.

So I'm going to be taking
a few special callers

every hour
at the top of the hour.

Starting with you, caller.
You're on the air.

MAN: Yo, Mickey,
The Smiths suck.

No one wants to hear this crap.

You're totally bumming out
our Friday night.

Play some Dokken.

Dokken rules!

Yes, they do.

Metal heads 1, Smiths nil.

560, KISS, you're on the air.

Caller, who am I speaking with?

This is Sandi from Arvada.

And I just want to say
that we are having a party,

and we are all listening

and we are going
to keep on listening

because The Smiths are
the greatest band in the world,

and it's about time that
we heard our music on the radio.

BILLY: Hey, guys,
Sandi's on the radio.

FULL METAL MICKEY:
Sandi, I dream of Dokken.

But wouldn't you know it?

Up next,
another one of your songs.

[THE SMITHS' "WILLIAM,
IT WAS REALLY NOTHING" PLAYS]

They're listening,

Really listening.

? The rain falls hard
on a humdrum town ?

? This town
has dragged you down ?

? Oh the rain falls hard
on a humdrum town ?

? This town
has dragged you down ?

? And everybody's
got to live their life ?

? And God knows
I've got to live mine ?

? God knows
I've got to live mine ?

? William, William
it was really nothing ?

? William, William
it was really nothing ?

You didn't tell me
Sandi's brother was home.

There's gonna be jocks
at this party.

SHEILA: We're not in
high school anymore.

Who cares?

I prefer to say
with my own kind.

CLEO: Look.
It's a total freak party.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

SHEILA: Come on.

This night
will open our eyes.

[THE SMITHS' "BARBARISM BEGINS
AT HOME" PLAYS]

Look as bored
as humanly possible.

Untied tie?

Great look.

Did you hear me
on the radio today?

I think I should have
my own show.

You know, I was thinking
a Duran Duran marathon.

I'm sure there are worse groups
than Duran Duran.

No, please, honey,
if Duran Duran broke up,

I would...
I would set myself on fire.

Come on.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

? Unruly boys
who will not grow up ?

? Must be taken in hand ?

? Unruly girls
who will not settle down ?

CLEO: I don't know why
you're going to college.

Drop out.

Let's travel abroad together,
live a little.

To Paris?

But what about Bruno?

Wouldn't I cramp your style?

Hi, Billy.

Hi, Siouxsie.

You know, you still put
something in my heart.

That joke isn't funny anymore.

Come on, Billy,
I know you're still spellbound.

Siouxsie Chu and you?

One month. Last summer.

All she wanted to do
was watch "Liquid Sky"

and listen to Bauhaus
in the dark

while she bit my neck.

? Who will not settle down
must be taken in hand ?

CLEO: They all look dead
from the neck up.

SHEILA: What are you kidding?
Sandi's family is perfect.

Nobody's family is perfect.

I bet you if you look
into her medicine cabinet,

she's hooked on diet pills,
just like my mom.

? You're the one
hat's left in the dark ?

Hey, Sheila.

Hey, David.

Crazy Cleo
and the brothers gay.

Hey, man, can I borrow
some eyeliner?

I might need a touch up.

I'll give you a touch up.

Dude, these are
my sister's friends, man.

Just chill out.

I'm just fucking with you, dude.

Cool?

? Don't give up
We'll be alright ?

What's not cool
is the shitty music.

[RADIO TURNS OFF]

Yuck.

Bon Jovi.

Boston.

Bryan Adams?

Michael fucking Bolton?

Oh, come on, he's playing
Red Rocks next weekend.

Yeah?

Got an extra ticket.

I'd rather go
to my own funeral.

Let's see.

[ALL GROAN]

? Every day you must say ?

You're welcome.

? So how do I feel
about my life? ?

? Anything is hard to find ?

? When you will not
open your eyes ?

I am wicked sorry
about these guys.

I'll sing you song.
I won't take long.

? All jocks are assholes ?

Well, some of us
aren't so bad.

I dig this new look, though.
It's good.

Well, it's not, like,
too Madonna, is it?

I mean, I like her and all,

but I'm not into
that boy-toy bullshit.

No, no, no. It's good.

You look good.

You guys want another round,
or...?

Mm.

- No, we're good.
- Well, I need another.

After you.

Cheer up, Paddy.
It's a party.

What the hell
does she see in him?

Maybe you should give her
what she's asking for.

[GROANS]

I hate sex.

The smoke gets
in my brain.

Johnny plays the mandolin.

What's up with the hearing aid?

Maybe he's trying
to tell you to listen up.

Open your ears and your mind.

This is not
an ordinary rock song.

Why don't you open
your ears, man?

MAN: What American city?

You're so obsessed with
Morrissey and the mopey mopes

that you can't hear what's good
about other kinds of music.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

What are you doing?

Okay, ease up there, Rebel Yell.

All this talk of mind opening
just reminded me

I've got some pretty killer
Columbian red

in my Kiss lunchbox.

Come on, man,
put the gun down.

Smoke some drugs with me.

Yeah, buddy.

Now, if you don't
mind my asking,

what could be so bad
that you'd want to end it all

before you even graduated
high school?

My life sucked.

No one knew me,
and yet everyone gave me shit.

Even the nerds.

And the girl
I thought I liked.

So I found a razor blade.

I'll never forget, though,
my first day back at work,

we got this new import in.

I had never
heard of them before.

I just listened to it
over and over again.

It's like nothing
I'd ever heard.

Martyrdom
and meaningless death,

guilt and heroism,
sex and celibacy,

catharsis and deceit.

All the horrors
you have to face up to.

I owe them everything.

They saved my life.

Well, in the end, man,
they're just a band.

They break up all the time.

But they are
the only band that matters.

Clearly never listened
to Twisted fucking Sister.

You know, dude,

one day your heroes
are going to grow old,

and they're going to change.

And they're going to put out
shitty music.

And they're going to say stupid
things that betray the past.

In the end,
they will only disappoint you.

Jesus.

Are you sure
you're not a Smiths fan?

I know "It's Over" is next,
but it is far from being so.

But don't despair, Denver.

Relax, have a smoke,
have a toke,

You might find it actually
starts to grow on you.

You know?

? Oh Mother, I can feel ?

? The soil falling
over my head ?

BILLY:
Where are you taking me?

CLEO: I stole a joint
from one of those jocks.

You know, I could have
kicked that guy's ass.

Why'd you stop me?

It was enough that you tried
to defend my honor.

[COUGHS]

You want to know something?

BILLY: What?

I fucking hate
Molly Ringwald.

- Huh?
- CLEO: Not her as a person,

but, like,
in "Pretty in Pink,"

what was that about,
really?

She's so worried about being
liked by this preppy asshole.

She's got a cool job
and awesome clothes.

And it's some big deal

for someone normal to like her
and go to prom.

Her cool best friend
is in love with her,

and she's kind of a bitch
about it.

is that supposed
to be our lives?

Soundtrack is killer.

They have no idea.

CLEO: That freckled freak should
try living with my mother

and the losers
she brings home.

I'd leap in front
of a flying bullet for you.

[CHUCKLES]

I know.

We tried. We failed.

We're much better off
as friends.

I'm just a joke to you.

I know there's no French
boyfriend waiting for you.

I'm real and I'm right here.

You don't care.

After tonight, we might not
see each other again.

You think you're so much better
than everybody else here,

but really,
you are going nowhere fast,

just like the rest
of the losers in this.

I'm going somewhere.
Okay?

I might even leave tonight.

Right, Right.

God, you're such a poser.

? Love is natural
and real ?

Cleo!

Damn it!

? But not for
such as you and I ?

? My love ?

? Oh Mother, I can feel ?

? The soil falling
over my head ?

? Oh, oh, oh-oh ?

? Mother, I can feel ?

? The soil falling
over my head ?

? Oh, oh, oh-oh ?

? Mother ?

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Patrick!

- Uh...
- [SHOUTS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

The true mystery of the world
is the visible,

not the invisible.

Oscar Wilde said that.

BILLY:
Does this look like someone

who should be joining
the armed forces?

Sometimes I feel like
my insides and my outsides

don't match, you know?

Like, am I in love with Cleo,

or do I want to be her?

Am I a man or a woman?

Am I alive or dead?

I look in the mirror sometimes,

and I don't know
who I'm looking at.

You ever do that?

When I was 14,

I took down all the mirrors
in our house.

If I look long enough.
I disappear.

I can't believe the Army
is letting in such a headcase.

But part of me wants to do it,
you know,

maybe... maybe just
to please my dad, I guess.

But then another part of me
just wants to smoke joints,

hang out, have friendly wanks

with big, lusty,
busty pink balloons.

[LAUGHS]

Oh.

Am I 2 people or 100?

I've only ever known
one of you.

SHEILA: Wow, I am impressed.

DAVID: You didn't think
I was cool, did you?

No.

The senior class trip
to London,

we get invited
to this really cool party.

We get super drunk

and steal it
right off the guy's wall.

Him and his friends
were so pissed,

they chased us
all around Piccadilly,

but we jumped into a cab
and escaped.

Hey.

[BOTH LAUGH]

BILLY: Revenge. Go on.

Make the worst face ever.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[LAUGHS]

Oh, classic.

I'm sick, I'm dull,
I'm plain.

Hey, hey.

I'm not the man
you think I am.

Shut up and make a face.

SHEILA: Do you even like
The Smiths?

No, I don't.

Well...

[THE SMITHS' "GIRL AFRAID"
PLAYS]

? Girl afraid ?

? Where do his intentions lay? ?

What about your boyfriend?

He cares more about his bowtie
than he does about me.

? She says, "He never really
looks at me ?

? I give him
every opportunity ?

Just for the record,

you are so much hotter
than Madonna.

Shut up.

? In the room downstairs
he sat and stared ?

? In the room downstairs
he sat and stared ?

? I'll never make
that mistake again" ?

It's not your first time,
is it?

SHEILA: Is it yours?

? I'll never make
that mistake again ?

? I'll never make
that mistake again ?

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

That was awesome.

[CHUCKLES]

You were great.

So do you want to hang out
again sometime?

? And I know because
you said so ?

I'm just home
for the weekend.

Well, we could see
a movie tomorrow?

SHEILA: Tomorrow?

What makes you think
we're gonna that long?

[DISSONANT PIANO CHORD PLAYS]

[DISSONANT PIANO CHORD PLAYS]

Fuck!

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Do you have any lipstick?

Black magic.

Keep it.

Thanks.

It's not really my color, is it?

[LAUGHS]

He used to babysit
me and Sandi.

I always had
this idiotic crush on him.

? 15 minutes with you ?

It didn't even last that long.

I really, really don't think
I know how sex works.

I don't think I know
how anything works.

I'm getting A's in school,
and I don't know why.

I'm bored.

I don't want
to study economics.

I want to be in a band.

I want to have real orgasms
with cute boys.

I want to live.

I have a confession to make.

Bruno isn't real.

SHEILA: I know.

[LAUGHS]

I haven't even been to Paris,

My mom's drinking again
and sleeping with the bookie.

I'm not even going
to community college.

I'm a full-time
supermarket checkout queen.

Safeway, here I come.

[CHUCKLES]

[THE SMITHS' "THE BOY WITH
A THORN IN SIDE" PLAYS]

? The boy with the thorn
in his side ?

? Behind the hatred there lies
a murderous desire ?

? For love ?

? How can they look
into my eyes ?

? And still they don't
believe me? ?

? How can they hear me
say those words ?

? Still they don't
believe me? ?

? And if they don't
believe me now ?

? Will they ever believe me? ?

? And if they don't
believe me now ?

? Will they ever,
they ever believe me? ?

? Oh, oh-oh ?

? Oh, oh-oh-oh ?

? Oh, oh-oh-oh ?

? Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ?

? The boy with the thorn
in his side ?

? Behind the hatred there lies
a plundering desire ?

? For love ?

I am super drunk.

- [GRUNTS]
- [ALL MURMUR]

What was that?

I'm just out to have
a good time.

All the rest is propaganda.

? And if they don't
believe us now ?

? Will they ever believe us? ?

FULL METAL MICKEY:
What's next, dude?

DEAN: The title track.
"Meat is Murder."

Ah, the manifesto album.

They for real vegetarians?

Yeah.

- Don't mess with me, bro.
- DEAN: I'm not.

I am, too, a non-meat eater.

I heard that album.

One day I could no longer
keep down my mother's meat loaf.

So it was child abuse
by meat loaf

that drove you
to this life of crime?

DEAN: Yeah, they're not so bad,
my folks.

They just worship
my older brother.

Quarterback?

Quarterback, pitcher,
power forward.

He plays golf.
It's ridiculous.

I'm invisible.

But, yeah, meat loaf
every single Monday.

[COWS MOOING]

? Heifer whines
could be human cries ?

MORRISSEY: We feel that
popular music should be used

in order to make
serious statements

because so many groups sell
masses and masses of records

and don't raise people's
level of consciousness

in any direction.

And we find that quite sinful,

especially in these
serious times.

? This beautiful creature
must die ?

? A death for no reason ?

? And death for no reason
is murder ?

You know, I quit meat
when I was 12.

And I figured
if Geezer Butler,

vegan metal God of Black Sabbath
could do it.

No shit.

And other than the fact
that you're pointing a gun

in my direction...

...I'm actually happy
you came in tonight.

Meatheads of the world,
the message is heavy.

Moral not metal.

Animals are people, too.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

? Kitchen aromas
aren't very homely ?

Uh, um...

? It's not comforting,
cheery or kind ?

Hey, uh...

Are you alright?

I'm unhealthy and frazzled,
but other than that.

BRIAN: Your, um...

your eyes are falling apart.

I'm so tired of myself tonight.

I just want to be somebody else.

Be yourself.

Everyone else
is already taken.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

Where are the mystery girls?

We're right here, Romeo.

I should never
have been born a man.

I would have been better off
as a seagull or a fish.

I'm a stranger.

I don't belong here or there
or anywhere.

All I ever do is want,
and nobody wants me back.

Are you trying to steal
Patrick from me?

I'm just trying to show
Patrick who he is.

If I can't be me,
maybe he can be him.

There.

And, uh, who do
I have the pleasure?

Oh, Patrick.

Patrick.

I'm Brian.

- Brian?
- Mm-hmm.

Brian Briggs.

I think you know
my friend Cleo.

Oh, uh, one more thing,
your bow tie.

Oh, it's supposed to be...

It's supposed to be...

- It's a look.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm in love.

I'm on fire.

You just never begin
to amaze me.

I don't think I'll ever
quite get over you.

- [GRUNTS]
- [LAUGHS]

Brian?

Hey, there you are.

Oh, my God, you made it.

This is my friend Patrick
I was telling you about.

Yeah, we've already met.

See, good times
for a change.

Top of the hour,

Come with me.

What did I miss?

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[PHONE BEEPING]

FULL METAL MICKEY:
You're listening to KISS 101's

full Morrissey meltdown.

It's the top of the hour,
Denver,

and you know what that means.

The lines are now open.

And we have a caller.

Hello.

Hi, my name's Cleo.

And I just wanted to say
thank you

to the charming man holding
the radio station hostage.

A thank you from all of us,
right, guys?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

You're going to go down
in musical history.

And one more thing,
I have a special request.

[THE SMITHS'
"SHEILA TAKE A BOW" PLAYS]

? Is it wrong to want
to live on your own? ?

? No, it's not wrong,
but I must know ?

? How can someone so young ?

? Sing words so sad? ?

? Sheila take a,
Sheila take a bow ?

? Boot the grime of this world
in the crotch, dear ?

? And don't go home tonight ?

? Come out and find the one that
you love and who loves you ?

? The one that you love
and who loves you ?

? Is it wrong not
to always be glad? ?

? No, it's not wrong,
but I must add ?

? How can someone so young ?

? Sing words so sad? ?

Sheila take a,
Sheila take a bow

? Boot the grime of this world
in the crotch, dear ?

? And don't go home tonight

? Come out and find the one that
you love and who loves you ?

? The one that you love
and who loves you ?

Be drunk always.

Nothing else matters.

And I'm sorry I tried
to break your face.

That's okay.

I'm completely unpredictable,

especially on Friday.

? Sheila take a,
Sheila take a bow ?

I think we should go.

? La, la, la,
la-la, la-la, la ?

? Throw your homework
onto the fire ?

? Come out and find the one
that you love ?

? Come out and find
the one you love ?

[THE SMITHS' RUBBER RING"
PLAYS]

These things are ridiculous.

What do you say we get some air,
circulate the self-pity?

Hey.

Check this out.

[ALL CHEERING]

You're like Bonnie and Clyde,
except without Bonnie.

Her name is Cleo.

FULL METAL MICKEY:
The girl who called in?

Yeah, she, uh, comes
into the store I work at

to steal tapes.

You're in love with her,

but you think
she doesn't notice you.

You're just the guy
she uses to get her fix,

and that's it.

Pretty much.

Yeah, I know the feeling.

Can you imagine how many
hot metal chicks out there

listen to my show every week?

They listen next to
their mullet-headed boyfriends.

Guys like you and me,
we provide the fantasy.

We're not real to them.

But that girl did call in.

She was talking directly to you.

So what do I do?

I'd dedicate a song to her.

That's just me.

What about you?

You married,
got a girlfriend?

Yeah, I was married.

But she left me.

About a year ago.

Same day "Master of Puppets"
came out.

I had it on super loud
in my headphones all day.

I didn't even hear her leave.

There I was in thrash nirvana,

no idea that the love of my life
was about to rip my guts out.

I haven't been able to listen
to that album since.

How long were you together?

Since high school.

Why did you break up?

I guess the metal lifestyle
just wasn't for her.

And she hated
that I worked nights.

We just grew apart.

She grew up and I didn't.

Denver.

Don't forget the songs
that made you cry

or the songs
that saved your lives.

You may be crying
for more metal,

but through those tears,

we must open our hearts
and our ears.

Sometimes salvation
is louder than volumes.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

CLEO: One last stop.

PATRICK: Oh, not
the sketchy gay bar.

CLEO: Billy's not getting
on that bus tomorrow

without a proper
after-hours send off.

PATRICK:
We will never get in.

Hey, pull up to my bumper,
baby.

How old are you?

CLEO: He's old enough
to join Reagan's army.

- SHEILA: Come on.
- BILLY: Yeah, hear, hear.

- That's right.
- Let us in.

Well, night clubbers...

Walk in through the exits.

? Tell me why ?

? Tell me why ?

[BRONSKI BEAT'S "WHY" PLAYS]

Ready for a few gay boys
in bondage?

Yeah.

Come on, I'll introduce you.

? You in your false securities ?

? Tear up my life,
condemning me ?

? Name me an illness,
call me a sin ?

? Never feel guilty,
never give in ?

? Tell me why? ?

? Tell me why? ?

? Tell me why? ?

? Tell me why? ?

? Tell me why? ?

? Yeah ?

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[VOCALIZING]

? You and me together ?

? Fighting for our love ?

? You and me together ?

? Fighting for our love ?

? You and me together ?

? Fighting for our love ?

? You and me together ?

? Fighting for our love ?

? You and me together ?

? Fighting for our love ?

? You and me together ?

? Fighting for our love ?

? You and me together ?

? Fighting for our love ?

Why are you looking so sad,
sweetie?

The Smiths broke up.

Is that all?

? Can you tell me why? ?

FULL METAL MICKEY:
So this is it, huh?

DEAN: Their last album.

FULL METAL MICKEY:
It'll join the ranks

of some great last's...

"Let It Be,"
"In Through the Out Door,"

"L.A. Woman."

Ozzy's last album,
and Sabbath "Never Say Die."

Although "Heaven and Hell"
kicked ass,

I will be an Ozzy man
until the day I die.

I could go on and on.

"Raw Power.

Uh, uh.

[HUMMING]

"Too Much, Too Soon."

Oh, that's
New York Dolls' album.

Protopunks in ugly drag.

Best fucking band ever.

You know,
when he was like 15,

Morrissey appointed himself

head of the New York Dolls
UK fanclub.

I don't think
they ever even knew.

Well, I hope he knows
how much that means to you.

[THE SMITHS' "DEATH OF
A DISCO DANCER" PLAYS]

? The death of a disco dancer ?

? Well, it happens a lot
'round here ?

? And if you think peace
is a common goal ?

? That goes to show
how little you know ?

? The death of a disco dancer ?

? Well, I'd rather
not get involved ?

? I never talk to my neighbor ?

? I'd rather not get involved ?

? Love, peace and harmony? ?

Love, peace and harmony?

? Oh, very nice, Very nice ?

? Very nice, Very nice ?

? Maybe in the next world ?

? Maybe in the next world ?

? The next world ?

? The next world ?

Oh, look who it is,
the four faggy friends.

See, I told you this is where
the freaks hang out.

Look at this one.
This one dresses like a dike.

[GRUNTS]

Eat some modified
Madonna tomboy look,

you fucking asshole.

MAN: Fuck her up, man.

Hey! No!

[SCREAMS] Get off of him.

I got this.

[SCREAMS]

CLEO: Come here.

No, let him go!

I'm sick and tired
of all this bullshit.

[ALL SHOUTING]

Nice right hook there,
Demolition Man.

Are we going
to be all right?

I'll always be on your side.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]

That's for me, isn't it?

Last mile's the hardest mile.

I think I'm ready to make
that dedication.

FULL METAL MICKEY:
News flash, new-wavers,

The intrepid
Denver Police Department

has arrived to end
the siege of this station

by a deranged and angry
young Smiths' fan.

CLEO: No!

FULL METAL MICKEY:
And I must say,

it has been amazing
to see the gathering

of the faithful
outside this station.

CLEO: What?

FULL METAL MICKEY:
There's a murky river

of musical history
running through these songs,

from Bo Diddley to Bowie,

from Presley and Sinatra,

to the Dolls and T.Rex,

from Motown all the way
to Manchester.

Tonight, two musical cultures

reached across the divide
to each other,

and it seems that
in these uncertain times

of chaos and fear,

a song can still
save your life,

it's all or nothing
with the Smiths

and those that love them.

It is life and death.

It's music full of love and hate

and passions
just like ours.

And all these kids out there,
they sing for them.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

There's history in this music,

and there's history happening
right here, right now,

I can't believe this,
but yes, folks, it's true.

The queen is dead.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Long live the Smiths.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Oh, before I sign off.

Here's one more song for that
sweet and tender hooligan.

He wanted me to dedicate it
to a very special shoplifter

out there somewhere.

You know, you are.

[THE SMITHS' "HOW SOON IS NOW?"
PLAYS]

? I am the son and the heir ?

? Of a shyness
that is criminally vulgar ?

? I am the son and heir ?

? Of nothing in particular ?

? You shut your mouth ?

? How can you say ?

? I go about things
the wrong way? ?

? I am human and I need
to be loved ?

? Just like
everybody else does ?

? I am the son and the heir ?

? Of a shyness that was
criminally vulgar ?

? I am the son and heir ?

? Of nothing in particular ?

[SIREN WAILS]

? You shut your mouth,
how can you say ?

? I go about things
the wrong way? ?

? I am human
and I need to be loved ?

? Just like everybody else
does ?

- Hey, can you take our picture?
- Sure.

Thank you.

MORRISSEY: The meetings
between the group members

were very accidental.

It was also
a very barren time

when everybody seemed
to be lost,

and the vile elements
were taking over.

Four strangers cannot
simply huddle together

and do what we do.

And whatever happens,

well, there has to be some kind

of mystical communion
between them and some bond.

But with the Smiths
on another level,

I really do think
it is true.

I think this is really more
or less the end of the story.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC STOPS]

I came to bail you out,

stole all this money,
and everything.

Mickey won't press charges.

Some revolution.

Bunch of freaks spent the night
in the parking lot.

Should have been
on the front page,

but by tomorrow,
it'll be like it never happened.

I'll never forget it.

Come on, you look
like you need a ride.

Where are you going?

I don't know.
Where are you going?

Anywhere.

Anywhere?

Take me anywhere.
I don't care.

[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

[ENGINE STARTS, REVS]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

? Learn to love me ?

? Assemble the ways ?

? Now, today, tomorrow
and always ?

? My only weakness
is a listed crime ?

? My only weakness is, well,
never mind, never mind, oh ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Unite and take over ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Hand it over, hand it over,
hand it over ?

? Learn to love me
and assemble the ways ?

? Now, today, tomorrow,
and always ?

? My only weakness
is a listed crime ?

? But last night the plans
for a future war ?

? Was all I saw
on Channel Four ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Unite and take over ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Hand it over, hand it over,
hand it over ?

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? A heartless hand
on my shoulder ?

? A push and it's over ?

? Alabaster crashes down ?

? Six months is a long time ?

? Tried living in the real world
instead of a shell ?

? But before I began ?

? I was bored
before I even began ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Unite and take over ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Unite and take over ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Unite and take over ?

? Shoplifters of the world ?

? Take over ?

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

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