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1
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:07,644
Aww... All right.
2
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,981
♪ All right, I'm coming ♪
3
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,617
♪ O-li-doo-da ♪
4
00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:17,487
♪ Hold on, please ♪♪
5
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,622
Hello?
6
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,558
Fred!
7
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,160
Yeah.
8
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:26,763
How's everything in St. Louis?
9
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:30,055
How was your cousin's funeral?
10
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:35,360
Oh? well, what did he look like?
11
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:40,143
Oh, well, they're doing
that a lot nowadays, Fred,
12
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:43,402
burying people in dark glasses.
13
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,650
Oh, he did?
14
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:51,754
He had on a
turtleneck sweater too?
15
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:55,892
Well, I guess they wanted
him to have a sporty look.
16
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,494
Yeah.
17
00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:00,197
Oh, no, everything
is fine here, Fred.
18
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,631
Yeah, I'm looking
after the house
19
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,932
just like you asked me to
20
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,403
and taking care
of your only son.
21
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:09,672
Yeah, I fixed him a
nice supper tonight...
22
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:13,543
Tuna burgers and
hot potato salad.
23
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,679
Huh? Oh, no, no, no,
he's not here, Fred.
24
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:19,149
No, he went out
with... on a date,
25
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:22,685
you know, with his
good friend Rollo?
26
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:23,953
Yeah.
27
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,155
Oh, no, Fred.
28
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:28,358
Look, now, don't worry
about a thing, please.
29
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,193
Yeah, okay, I'll
see you next week,
30
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:31,228
all right?
31
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:34,119
All right. Bye.
32
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:40,970
Well, let's see, I'm
finished with dishes,
33
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,541
so I think I'll
have a little snack
34
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:48,612
and look at the
little television.
35
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:54,139
I told you to leave
that thing alone...
36
00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:58,155
Oh, good goobelly-woo.
37
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:00,357
What happened to you?
38
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:01,424
Look at his...
39
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,193
Come on, man, give
him some breathing room.
40
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,394
He's all right. He's all right.
41
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,462
What do you mean, he's all...
42
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:06,663
I'm all right. I'm all right.
43
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,964
Look here,
44
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,467
did you get the number
of that hit-and-run driver?
45
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,536
Hey, man, I don't even
want to talk about it.
46
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,638
Well, somebody'd
better tell me something.
47
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,773
What happened to him?
What did you do to him?
48
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,642
I told... I told Fred
that I'd take care of him,
49
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:19,976
and look what you did.
50
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,145
You went out and got
him in all this mess.
51
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,746
Hey, Grady, would you
stop yelling at Rollo?
52
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,148
Now, it's not even his fault.
53
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,349
Well, what happened?
54
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,251
Well, he got in a
little argument, sort of,
55
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,253
and got punched
in the nose, sort of.
56
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,855
Who punched my best
friend's only son in the nose?
57
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:33,856
Who was it?
58
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,414
Jo-Jo Jackson.
59
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,429
Did you say "Jo-Jo Jackson"?
60
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,930
That's right.
61
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,433
Uh..."Jawbreaker" Jo-Jo Jackson?
62
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,501
That's him.
63
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,236
The Central Avenue Sledgehammer?
64
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,437
We're still...
65
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:50,574
We're still talking
about the same dude.
66
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,718
Oh, goodness, we'd
better call the police...
67
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,746
Or better yet, we'd better
call the National Guard.
68
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,115
Hey, Grady, just forget
it, man. It's all over.
69
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,117
What do you mean,
it's all over, forget it?
70
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,151
Look at your nose.
71
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,120
You've got blood
coming all out your nose,
72
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,355
and look at your eyes.
73
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:08,391
You can't see. You
need some first aid here.
74
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,881
Here, put this on your eye.
75
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,267
Grady, what's the
matter with you?
76
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,568
This is bologna.
77
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,003
You're supposed to put a
piece of steak on a black eye.
78
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,005
Well, as high as meat is today,
79
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,108
you're lucky that's not a
piece of hog-head cheese
80
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,043
on your eye.
81
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,679
If you're not going to need
this bologna on your eye,
82
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,314
I might as well
make me a sandwich.
83
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,149
Oh, no, you don't.
84
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,485
This is all your fault anyway.
85
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,653
How come you didn't help him?
86
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,654
Help him?
87
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:38,655
Yeah.
88
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:39,822
I saved his life.
89
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:43,326
I moved out of the way
when he was backing up.
90
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,129
Well, how come you
didn't help him fight?
91
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,365
What fight? Wasn't
nothing but two licks thrown.
92
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,735
Jo-Jo hit Lamont, and
Lamont hit the floor.
93
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:55,472
Oh, man, how would you know,
as fast as you was running?
94
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:56,906
You're some friend, Rollo.
95
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,408
Hey, I am your friend, partner,
96
00:04:58,432 --> 00:04:59,743
through thick and thin,
97
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,311
but look, it got too thick,
98
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,647
and I had to get in the wind.
99
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,248
Yeah, thanks a lot, brother.
100
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,049
Oh, man, you're my ace,
101
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,918
and I love you like
a blood brother,
102
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:12,422
but I ain't going to fight Jo-Jo
if he was to hit my mama.
103
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,291
Yeah, well,
104
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,492
just don't worry
about it, Rollo,
105
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,294
because I'm going to
take care of this myself.
106
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,795
What're you going to do?
107
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,797
Well, look, why, why don't
you just take my advice
108
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,465
and leave well enough
alone and forget about it?
109
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,867
Hey, man, I'm not
forgetting nothing.
110
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,470
I'm not going to let some chump
violate my body over a woman
111
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,571
and get away with it.
112
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,106
Over a woman?
113
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,442
Yeah, Jo-Jo's
woman, Candy Nipson.
114
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:35,745
Hey, Rollo, Candy's
not Jo-Jo's woman,
115
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,046
and she told him that.
116
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,047
That's why he hit me,
117
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,849
because he knows
that she likes me.
118
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,018
Yeah, you could
tell Candy likes you
119
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:45,154
the way she let you
bleed all over her.
120
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,190
Well, look. Now,
listen, I tell you,
121
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,958
just forget about the
whole thing, all right?
122
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,193
Hey, I can't do that, Grady.
123
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,394
It's a matter of pride.
124
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:54,864
Oh, that'll look nice
on your tombstone.
125
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,367
"He died for pride."
126
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,068
Yeah, well, just
don't worry about it,
127
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,503
because I've got a plan.
128
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,405
He hit me in my face, man.
129
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,207
That wasn't lemonade
running out of my nose,
130
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,608
it was blood,
131
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,410
and that's what I've
got in my veins, blood.
132
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,946
Yeah, well, if you want to
keep that blood in your veins,
133
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,549
you'd better not mess
with Jo-Jo Jackson.
134
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:16,118
I promised your
daddy I'd look after you.
135
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:19,656
Hey, Roscoe, get
out of the bologna.
136
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,857
Hey, man, it's Rollo.
137
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,080
Rollo.
138
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,431
Lamont?
139
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:02,521
Lamont, is that you?
140
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,825
Lamont?
141
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,843
Well, the truck's out there.
He's got to be here someplace.
142
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,579
Lamont, are you upstairs?
143
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,947
Yeah.
144
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,750
Well, you ought to say
something when you come in.
145
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,119
I could have taken
you for a burglar
146
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,955
and hurt you.
147
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,223
What are you doing?
148
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,258
I'll be right down.
149
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,627
Well, how come you...
150
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,529
Why did you sneak
in the house for?
151
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:35,465
You've got a girl up
in your room with you?
152
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:38,824
I don't think your
daddy would like that.
153
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,991
What... What...
154
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,661
What... What is
that you've got on?
155
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:07,296
Grady, this happens
to be called a "Gi,"
156
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,432
and it's what you wear
when you study karate.
157
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,468
Oh, you look like
158
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:15,237
you're going to open
up a beauty shop.
159
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,774
You look like a beautician.
160
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,642
What are you wearing that for?
161
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,511
Because I'm going
to study karate.
162
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,614
See, Rollo and I are going back
to the Boondocks Bar and Grill,
163
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,116
and if Jo-Jo Jackson
starts acting crazy,
164
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,352
I'm going to have
to use karate on him.
165
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,720
I told you I had a plan.
166
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,722
You're going to need
more than a plan.
167
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:36,258
You're going to need
some burial insurance.
168
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,260
Yeah, well, just stay
out of it, Grady, all right?
169
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,262
As a matter of fact,
just leave me alone here,
170
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,799
because I'd like to loosen
up before my karate lesson.
171
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,523
Oh.
172
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:52,163
Are you going to fight a midget?
173
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,315
You see that? Now,
there's the instructor now.
174
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,550
Fooling around with you,
175
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:02,351
I didn't even have a
chance to loosen up.
176
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,735
You're worse than
my father, Grady.
177
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:06,589
Oh, hey, Gus.
178
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:07,590
Hey, what's happening, man?
179
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:08,591
Come on in, my brother.
180
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:09,792
Hey, look, Gus,
181
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,327
this is a friend of my
father's, Grady Wilson,
182
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,529
and he's staying here with us
183
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,763
until my pop gets back.
184
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,131
Grady, this is Gus.
185
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,599
How are you doing?
186
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:19,368
Yeah, how are you doing?
Say, let me ask you something...
187
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,794
They let you ride the bus
with those pajamas on?
188
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,875
No, man, I drove over.
189
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,945
Well, how do you
know he's qualified?
190
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:32,248
Well, do something...
You know, break a piano,
191
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:36,019
uh, eat a table,
run through a tree.
192
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,119
Do something.
193
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:39,121
Grady... Hey, look, Mr. Wilson,
194
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,122
don't worry, I'm qualified.
195
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,123
I'm a fifth-degree black belt.
196
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,224
Did you hear that?
197
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,826
The man's a
fifth-degree black belt.
198
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,996
Uh-huh, and if he messes
with Jo-Jo Jackson,
199
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,831
he's going to need
all five of those belts
200
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,467
to lower him into the ground.
201
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:54,070
Grady, you don't know what
you're talking about, man.
202
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,071
Mr. Wilson,
203
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,606
karate is one of
the oldest forms
204
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,840
of self-defense known to man.
205
00:09:57,864 --> 00:10:01,733
It ain't older than running...
206
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,787
And... And how do
you say that, now?
207
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:15,391
Krrr... Ka... No,
it's karate. Oh.
208
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,993
It's a Japanese word.
It means "empty hand."
209
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,395
Oh, well, you'd have
a much better chance
210
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,764
if you'd fill that empty hand
211
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,255
with a .38-caliber
Smith and Wesson.
212
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,972
Say, lookee here,
sit down for a minute.
213
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,673
Let me ask you something, Goose.
214
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,563
Gus!
215
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,380
Yeah, uh, whatever.
216
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,149
Did you ever use
any of that stuff
217
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,718
in real fighting?
218
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,353
No, but I have seen men
get their arms and their legs,
219
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,822
even their skulls,
busted in tournaments.
220
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,290
Oh, well, you don't
need karate for that.
221
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,492
I can see that any night
222
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:52,294
right out there in
front of the pool hall.
223
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,964
Grady, I don't think
you understand, man.
224
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,499
Karate is foolproof.
225
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,034
Oh yeah?
226
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:02,193
You're the fool, and
Jo-Jo is the proof.
227
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,375
Look, there's an
ancient saying...
228
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,777
"If your opponent
229
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,612
"is more skilled and
stronger than yourself,
230
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,413
"and you can't find
a way to defeat him,
231
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,317
then you must
learn to die well."
232
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,153
Did you hear that?
233
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,056
"Die well."
234
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,491
Look, don't worry, Mr. Wilson.
235
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,661
Once you have mastered karate,
you can master any adversary.
236
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:25,662
All right.
237
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:26,729
Okay, suppose you're attacked
238
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,265
by two dope fiends,
239
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,433
and they both
have 12-inch knives,
240
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:33,036
and it's about
2:00 in the morning,
241
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,503
and you're in a dead-end alley.
242
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,705
All right, what would you do?
243
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:39,308
I'd have a heart
attack and drop dead.
244
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,309
Hey, Grady,
245
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,510
would you please
excuse yourself now?
246
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,945
We'd like to get on with it.
247
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,147
Wait, hold it, wait a minute.
248
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,682
Look, I can see you're
still not convinced.
249
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:46,683
Come on over here.
250
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,084
I'll show you what I would do
251
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,086
if I was attacked by, say,
two or more opponents.
252
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,288
Hey, Gus, you don't
have to do all of that, man.
253
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,023
Hey, no, it's all
right. I don't mind.
254
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,692
Go ahead. Yeah, show me.
255
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,026
First, the warm-up, right?
256
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,917
Mm-hmm.
257
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,269
See that?
258
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:10,306
He doesn't know whether
he's swimming or rowing.
259
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,197
Shh.
260
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,366
See that? He's
preparing himself.
261
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:22,952
Oh, goodness, now he's praying.
262
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,021
You know what he's saying?
263
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,089
"Oh, Lord,
264
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:29,325
I hope my Blue
Cross is paid up."
265
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,728
Grady, would you just be
quiet and look at the man?
266
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:32,752
Okay.
267
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,040
How about that?
268
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:49,812
Yeah, I see why he wears
those baggy pajamas now.
269
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:53,549
He's probably
split all his pants.
270
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,885
Grady, what about
that technique, man?
271
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:56,886
Was that beautiful?
272
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,821
Did you see that speed?
273
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:02,225
Anybody can beat up on the air,
274
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,961
but what would he do
against the real stuff?
275
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,028
Here, look here.
276
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,329
See what you can
do with this, Gas.
277
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:08,697
Gus!
278
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,166
Keep your eye on the footwork.
279
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:13,035
Now, this is what you
call "the Grady glide,"
280
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,470
and it comes around here.
281
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,038
Now, this is awful quick now...
282
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:17,240
keep your eye on it.
283
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,543
Well?
284
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:27,083
Well, he deafened me,
and I didn't hear him coming.
285
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,985
Hey, Gus, let's just go ahead.
286
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:29,986
Forget about him, man.
287
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,876
Yeah. Forget him.
288
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,597
Oh, yeah,
289
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,666
if you're going to
go against Jo-Jo,
290
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:47,569
you've got one thing
right... the screaming.
291
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,539
There's going to be
a lot of screaming.
292
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,896
All right, keep going.
293
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:02,251
Hey, you're going out?
294
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,452
That's right.
295
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,654
Rollo and I are taking
two ladies to a certain club,
296
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,056
and it's not going
to be no repeat
297
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,757
of what happened
last Saturday night.
298
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:11,861
Oh, I thought you'd
forgotten all about that.
299
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,495
Hey, man, I ain't
forgot about nothing.
300
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,931
He hit me in my face.
301
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,133
If Jo-Jo Jackson starts
something tonight,
302
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,901
it's going to be an
entirely different story.
303
00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:20,803
Yeah, and you won't be around
304
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,339
to talk about it, either.
305
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,640
Hey, Grady, why do you think
306
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,242
I've been taking these
Karate lessons for, man?
307
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,977
But you've only been
studying for a week.
308
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,347
You don't know no more
now than you knew before.
309
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,582
Hey, man, I know enough
of the basics to get by.
310
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,451
Oh, you mean your
instructor taught you enough
311
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,253
so that you think
you can go out there
312
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,420
and fight Jo-Jo Jackson?
313
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,688
That's exactly right.
314
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,789
He prepared me enough
315
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,658
for a meeting with
Jo-Jo Jackson.
316
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:43,826
Well, I certainly hope
317
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:49,065
he prepared you for a
meeting with St. Peter.
318
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,600
Now, why don't you be reasonable
319
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,569
and use your head and stop...
320
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:54,904
What it is, dude?
321
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,005
A little of this,
a little of that.
322
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,639
Yeah, you ready to split?
323
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,108
Hey, Rocco, wait a minute.
324
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,443
Rollo, man, Rollo.
325
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:04,881
Yeah, well, come over here.
I want to ask you something.
326
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:05,948
C... Come here.
327
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:09,085
Look, why don't you talk Lamont
328
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,020
out of committing suicide?
329
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,288
Oh, personally, Grady,
330
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,722
I think you're
worried over nothing.
331
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,724
There probably
won't even be a fight.
332
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,227
Hey, man, and if
there is, I'm prepared.
333
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,363
Yeah, and I've got you
covered. I'm your second.
334
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:23,399
You'd better get a third,
fourth, fifth, and a sixth...
335
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,067
for the pallbearers.
336
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,102
Hey, Grady, you ain't nothing
337
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,303
but a prophet of doom, man,
338
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,905
and I'm not going
to stay around here
339
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,139
and listen to it no more.
340
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,307
Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait,
341
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:32,875
come on back, hey, hey.
342
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,444
Hey, if you're going to
go out there and get killed,
343
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:39,315
your daddy's going to kill me...
344
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,872
and I'm too young to die.
345
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,992
Hey, let's drink a
toast to my partner.
346
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:51,160
To the champ.
347
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,195
Hey, Lamont, I hope you
know what you're doing
348
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:54,196
by coming back in here.
349
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,865
Oh, the man knows
what he's doing.
350
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,135
Lamont, I think you're brave.
351
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,003
Huh?
352
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,604
I mean, wild horses
couldn't drag most men
353
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,772
back in here
354
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,942
after Jo-Jo Jackson had
punched them in the nose.
355
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,777
Hey, baby, he ain't
most men, right, Lamont?
356
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,314
Huh? Oh, yeah, right.
357
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:15,651
Yeah, look how confident he is.
358
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,219
Confident,
359
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,422
and when we see you
grab that chump in his collar
360
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,023
and beat the "Anvil
Chorus" on his gums,
361
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,558
that won't be you,
that'll be confidence,
362
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,759
right, partner?
363
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:28,252
Yeah, that won't be
me, that'll be confidence.
364
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:49,051
Oh, Jo-Jo Jackson.
365
00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:51,620
Uh... You're blocking the door.
366
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,991
Oh, yeah, uh... yeah, Jo-Jo.
367
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,559
I mean, Mr. Jo-Jo. I
mean, Mr. Jackson.
368
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,528
I'm very sorry,
I didn't see you.
369
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,964
Don't be sorry, just be careful.
370
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,666
Oh, yes, sir. Well,
wait a minute.
371
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:05,934
Uh, there's something
372
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,871
I'd like to talk to you
about, Mr. Jackson.
373
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,439
You want to step over here?
374
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,640
Do I know you from somewhere?
375
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:12,641
No, but...
376
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:13,942
You've got some
business with me?
377
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,944
No, but I think you're
going to have some business
378
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,946
with someone inside
in a few minutes.
379
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:18,947
About a week ago,
380
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,316
you punched a
fellow in the nose.
381
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,484
You remember that?
382
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,486
Look, I punched a lot
of chumps in the nose
383
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,786
a week ago.
384
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,723
Yeah, yeah, but you
punched this chump in the nose
385
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,492
over a woman named Candy.
386
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,028
Yeah, now I remember.
387
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,497
Some funny-looking
dude with a mustache?
388
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,532
Yeah, that's right. That's him.
389
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,268
Yeah, well, you see, I'm, uh...
390
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,037
He's... his f... I mean...
391
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:45,707
See, I'm... I'm his guardian,
and I'm responsible for him,
392
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,176
and what I wanted to tell you
393
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,578
that he's in there
right now with Candy.
394
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:51,647
Oh yeah? Well, he
shouldn't be, you see,
395
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:52,648
because I told him
396
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,250
if I ever caught
him with her again,
397
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,784
I was going to
break both his jaws.
398
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:59,455
Wait, wait, no, no... Uh...
399
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,822
don't go in there like that,
400
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,991
because, see, if you kill him,
401
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,027
then you'll be in
a lot of trouble,
402
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,728
I mean, a lot of trouble.
403
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,963
What are you talking about?
404
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,433
Well, you see, he's...
405
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,669
he's got this, uh,
nervous disorder,
406
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,637
and he's subject to fits,
407
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:16,972
especially when, you know,
408
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,474
people bother him.
409
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,577
Mr. Jackson, I'm telling
you, he's as soft as a grape.
410
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:25,381
Yeah? Well, I'm
going to peel his head.
411
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,116
I really don't think
he's going to show up.
412
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,451
As a matter of fact,
413
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:30,852
we should just get on
up and get on out of here.
414
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,688
Hey, punk.
415
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,157
Do you remember what I
told you I was going to do
416
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,959
if I ever caught you
with Candy again?
417
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,294
I think so.
418
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,962
Wait a minute, Jo-Jo.
419
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,297
This isn't Dodge City.
420
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,664
You can't pull that cowboy stuff
421
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:43,665
around here.
422
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,601
Why don't you take him outside
423
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,969
and deal with him, Lamont?
424
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,870
Yeah, go on.
425
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,939
Well, you know, Candy,
426
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,975
you just can't
take a man outside
427
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,276
and deal with him.
428
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,212
I mean, this is a democracy,
429
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,546
and a democracy
430
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,983
is built on a man having
a right to his own opinion.
431
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:04,675
Why, he probably don't
even want to go outside.
432
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:10,414
I want to go outside.
433
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:14,830
He wants to go outside.
434
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,014
I'll be outside, creep.
435
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,078
Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute, partner.
436
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,380
The moment of truth has arrived.
437
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,681
We're going to go out there
438
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,483
and show that chump
what you learned this week.
439
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,684
Yeah, we're going to go outside
440
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:36,852
and show him what you know.
441
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:37,886
I think the best thing
442
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,522
would be for all
of us to stay inside,
443
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:40,989
for you all to stay inside here,
444
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,192
because there will probably
be a lot of blood out there.
445
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,461
There is going to be
a whole lot of blood,
446
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,163
and we might as
well stay in here,
447
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:50,065
but if you need me,
partner, just holler.
448
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,391
Yeah, because I don't think
this is going to take too long.
449
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,805
What happened in
there, Mr. Jackson?
450
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,807
When that clown gets out here,
451
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,309
you can see for
yourself what happens,
452
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,944
but don't blink, because
you might miss it.
453
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,814
We... Well, I'm telling
you, Mr. Jackson,
454
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,116
if he has another fit and dies,
455
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:12,221
you'll be responsible,
and in jail for life.
456
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,122
J... Just think, incarcerated
457
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,391
for the rest of your days
458
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,655
till your head is gray.
459
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,889
I mean, wrinkled.
460
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,604
You'd better get out of here
461
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,494
before you get hurt.
462
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,002
I'm going to break
both your jaws, sucker.
463
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,033
Hey, now, look.
464
00:20:58,057 --> 00:20:59,501
Begging ain't going
to help you none.
465
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,485
You might as well
get up from there.
466
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,906
Hey, what's the matter with you?
467
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,342
Hey, you having
a fit or something?
468
00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:07,343
Hey, now.
469
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,644
Hey, look, I'm not going to...
470
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:11,614
I'm not going... Calm down!
471
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:12,814
I'm not going to bother you.
472
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,905
Calm down. Just calm down.
473
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,144
Now, look...
474
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:25,894
Just go back inside,
forget what I said,
475
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:27,028
and have a drink.
476
00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:29,665
Have a drink on me. Anything.
477
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,722
Just leave me alone.
478
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,038
Ha!
479
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,096
You see what I mean?
480
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,965
Yeah, that fool is crazy.
481
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,001
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
482
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:08,136
I thought he was
going to die any minute.
483
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,027
Yeah, so did I.
484
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:13,442
Why don't you see about
taking him to a doctor,
485
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,810
get him some help?
486
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:18,013
Well, yeah, we've had
him to all kinds of doctors
487
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:19,281
and specialists.
488
00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:23,419
We even took him
to Reverend Ike.
489
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:24,720
Yeah.
490
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:27,155
Well, good luck
with him, old dude,
491
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,325
and thanks for
warning me about that.
492
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,092
Sure, anytime, Mr. Jackson.
493
00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:33,696
I was moving so fast. My
whole body was a weapon.
494
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:34,730
Feel how hard that is.
495
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:35,997
You know what it was?
496
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:40,336
It was a combination of
karate and confidence.
497
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,959
I Kar-onfidenced him.
498
00:23:03,015 --> 00:23:05,828
Hey, Grady, where you at?
499
00:23:05,852 --> 00:23:08,630
Hey, Grady, you in the kitchen?
500
00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:10,833
Hey, Grady, look, I
got a card from Pop.
501
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,033
He says to tell you hi
502
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,558
and that he'll be home tomorrow.
503
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:19,074
All right, what are
you doing with that on?
504
00:23:19,098 --> 00:23:20,476
Well, I'm wearing it.
505
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,310
What do you think
I'm doing with it on?
506
00:23:22,334 --> 00:23:24,346
I know, but what are
you wearing it for?
507
00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:25,547
Well, it's comfortable,
508
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:26,882
and it's good for doing work
509
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,450
around the house in.
510
00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:29,685
Now, just sit down.
511
00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:30,886
I'll fix you a nice breakfast.
512
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,054
Sit down and get
ready to eat, go ahead.
513
00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:34,490
Have a seat there.
514
00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:37,292
You're always complaining
about something.
515
00:23:37,316 --> 00:23:39,661
All right.
516
00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:47,469
Pork sausage again?
517
00:23:47,493 --> 00:23:50,005
It's the third time this week
that we've had pork sausage.
518
00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:51,339
We had pork sausage yesterday
519
00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:53,141
and the day before
and the day before that.
520
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:54,743
What is it with all
these pork sausages?
521
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,144
What you trying to do, kill me?
522
00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:59,147
Now, just wait a
minute, wait a minute.
523
00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:01,850
There is an ancient saying...
524
00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:03,419
"If your opponent
525
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:07,423
"is your best friend's son
who cannot cook for himself,
526
00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:09,792
"then he should eat
what is put before him
527
00:24:09,816 --> 00:24:11,549
and learn to die well."
528
00:24:19,659 --> 00:24:21,525
Sayonara.
529
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:38,053
Sanford & Son is
recorded on tape
530
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:41,545
before a live studio audience.
37709
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