All language subtitles for I.Love.You.Two.2016.THAI.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.x264-HG.eng

JAMNIAN

VIVIEN

TOAMON

Please welcome the bride and the grooms,

Vivien, Jamnian and Toamon.

Would you like to say something?

Well, this is the first wedding ceremony

that involves three people.

One bride and two grooms.

I don't have much to say, except...

I will do my best.

Let's hear from the grooms.

Please say something. Who'll go first?

-I love you.
-I love you.

The bride, do you have anything to say?

I love you.

I...

I love you two.

I LOVE YOU TWO

BEFORE - WEDDING

I was told this is
a sacred place to pray for love.

I've come a long way for this.

If I meet the right guy,
I'll give up everything

and live a modest and peaceful life.

I am not asking for much.

I'm not asking for Ryan Gosling.
but he must be handsome.

SAMHAO
BAR

He must have strong leadership qualities
and fulfill all my desires.

It would be cute if he has
a reserved nature,

but being cheerful will be a bonus.

Body type is not a big deal,

but I'd prefer someone muscular.

A muscular chest would be nice.

Man boobs are okay,
but they should not be bigger than mine.

It's nice here.

Do you like your face
being so close to mine?

What do you mean?

First tell me if you like it.

I do.

And I'd like someone who smells nice.

No sweaty underarms or unpleasant odor.

And if I may add,

it would be nice if he is a romantic guy.

I like your face being so close to mine,

but why aren't you looking at my face?

I feel shy when I look at a pretty face.

I think you'd better look at my face now.

You asked for so much. Such a long list.

Will God remember all that?

-Did I?
-Yeah.

Let me do it again.

I pay my respects.

I won't ask for much.

I want a good man.

If he can't be exceptionally good,
just good is fine.

I won't accept a bad man.

If he used to be bad, he should be
reformed before he meets me.

Any degree of bad is unacceptable.

A former bad guy who is now good is okay.

I think that's long enough.

All right, that's all.

The sky is roaring.

Has God acknowledged my wish?

Don't be superstitious.
You are worse than me.

You call it superstition, I call it faith.

Can you please acknowledge me again?

I'll let you be.

Don't forget to light
the incense tomorrow.

Have you ever asked for a lover here?

I have.

What kind of man did you ask for?

Someone who always has time for me
and can give me a ride when I need it.

-And I got one.
-Really?

Samorn, I'm here.

This is my friend.
She's staying with me tonight.

Hello, I am Jorakae.

As in an alligator?

Yes, an amphibian.

What's all that about?

Vivien is from your home town.

Oh, really? Are you from Udon?

Yes, I'm from Udon.

I've also lived in Khon Kaen, Yasothon,

Ubon, Nong Khai. You name it.

If you are from Isaan,
why do you look like a foreigner?

My mom is from Isaan,
my dad is a foreigner.

What does Vivien mean?

It's Latin, it means joyful.

My mom actually named me Wong Wien

because they met at Wong Wien Yai.

Dad said it's not a human name,
so he changed it to Vivien.

I see. But how come
a beautiful girl like you is single?

-What's wrong with you?
-It's frustrating.

It's hard to find a good man.

Can you do this?

Fuck!

Like this?

Will you have some of my drink?

Sure, why not.

But not from the glass,

from my mouth.

Are you hitting on me or challenging me?

He's hitting on your girl.

She's passed out drunk.

Hey!

Why are you closing the door?

Somebody is going to get hurt.

Seven to one.

Let's go.

Seven to one? Trouble!

Honey...

Something's come up. We have to go.

What's going on?

Shit.

Are you really in a hurry?
Isn't that too many times?

Jerk!

Who the hell are you?

Let him go.

Just let his friend go. I'm dying here.

Why the long face?

Look happy.

And smile.

Now get lost.

Jamnian, what did you do?

What was the ruckus about?
You almost died.

How could I? I knew you'd help me.

Shut up. Is she the reason?

Hey.

I just want to see what she looks like.

-Do you like her?
-Will you get jealous?

Have I ever?

-I'll consider her "communal" then.
-Fine.

That's my friend.

CROPPED PANTS GANG
SECURITY COMPANY LIMITED

Mr. Kajon, please don't hurt me.
I beg you.

They don't have money. It's not my fault.

So is it my fault?

I started a security company
to maintain peace for the people.

I told you to collect the street fee
and you have failed.

So you have to be punished.
How is it my fault?

You're asking for too much.
No one can afford it.

Too much?

He makes 100, I want 90.
He still has 10 left.

See, you take a lot.

How can you say that?

We are a fashionable gang.
We need to dress up. We need money.

Don't you get it?

Boss, please listen to me. Let me explain.

I know you are an asshole,

but I don't think you're that bad.

You called me an asshole?

Get me the box.

What is it? The gold pliers.

What are they for?
What are you going to do?

-Don, Mhen, get him.
-Yes, boss.

I think we can talk this out.

What are you going to do?
Boss, please don't.

I beg you. Please don't.

You are in my gang. Don't argue.

What is your assignment?

To collect the street fee.

Street fee?

Stay out of this.

If you can't collect the fee,
don't come back.

Hey.

Aren't we supposed to meet
Toamon and Jamnian today?

I don't see them.

They haven't been working much lately.

They're just fooling around.
We have to do the job for them.

Trust me, our revenue is less this year.

I won't let that happen.

What will you do with them?

Wait for Ancestor Worship Day,
then we'll talk to them.

Want to try me?

-You did it?
-I never miss.

Is it my blood or the cockroach's?

Cockroaches don't have blood.

-It's mine.
-It sure is.

You guys are just fooling around.

You didn't turn up
for the meeting yesterday.

Why don't you act like adults?
You're all grown up.

When your dads were in the gang,
they never behaved like this.

Go to Mr. Kajon's house
for Ancestor Worship Day on the eighth.

I heard he's collected a lot.
He'll split it with us.

He's quite a bad guy, huh?

"Quite a bad guy." Is that a compliment?

A compliment. He's quite a bad guy.

He's quite good at being bad.

-What are you doing, praying?
-Yes.

-Would you like to buy some incense?
-Sure.

50 baht a bunch. Two for 80.

Fifty baht! Why is it so expensive?

It's imported from China.
Great quality, very nice scent.

Really?

-You have ordinary incense?
-No.

There are two of you, just get two.

-Can you make it 20 bhat each?
-No.

Two for 60 bhat, then?

No, they are cheap. Just buy them.

Okay, 80 bhat it is.

-Where's my change?
-There isn't any.

Go and pray.

Place three on the right
and three on the left.

Nothing in the middle.

So you won't give me the change?

No. Go away.

I can't talk to you any more.
It's exhausting.

Go on. I'll handle it.

So annoying.

Grandma.

Let's go.

I pleaded with God so many times
I did good deeds

I'm lucky, fate is on my side

One is cute, the other is charming
So I love you two

You like them, huh?

Aren't they handsome?

They're the most popular boys in town.

Who is more handsome?

Hello, boys.
Do you want to buy some incense?

No, Grandma.

Come on, help me and buy some.

Will you buy some? Only 20 bhat.

Only 20 bhat. It's cheap.

Help an old woman, will you?

Hey, wait.

Grandma.

-What?
-How much?

Twenty bhat.

Why did you charge me 50 bhat?

It's a different type of incense.

Different? It's the same.

-It's not.
-Exactly the same.

Stop messing with me.

Why are you so annoying?

-Why did you take my incense?
-Give me my change, 20 bhat.

No, give it back.
I'll sell it and then leave.

Give it back.

It's my change. You guys can split it.

You're here for boys, not to pray.

You have no fucking shame.

Coming here for boys, not to pray.

-How shameful!
-No, Granny.

You are such a flirt.

-I saw her first.
-I talked to her first.

-But I saw her first.
-Nian.

Hey. How did you do that?

You got them fighting over you
within a few seconds of seeing you.

It's a skill.

Yeah, an impressive skill.

Miss, where are you going?
I can give you a ride.

Thank you, but we have a ride.

Were you here to pray for a boyfriend?

How did you know?

Most people come here to pray for that.

What kind of guy did you ask for?

Excuse me.

Ladies, let's go.

OLD TOWN MARKET

You have to go to this place.

Why? Is the food very good?

Food's okay, but the owner is fun.

Here we are.

What do you want to eat?

Is there anything with no shrimp?

You don't eat shrimp?

I'm allergic to it.

That's your problem.
What kind of noodles do you want?

Small noodles with everything but shrimp.

Without shrimp,
then it's not with everything.

What do you want?

Same noodles, but with shrimp.

Two small noodles.
One with shrimp and one without.

-And drinks?
-Lemon tea.

And you?

Black tea without lemon.

Black tea is never served with lemon.

Black tea is black tea.
Lemon tea is lemon tea.

I'm so sick and tired
of customers like this.

You were right, he is fun.

I think he's hitting on you.

Really? No way.

Why are you making
so much noise in front of my shop?

You're parking here as well?

The key is here, sir.
Move it yourself, all right?

If I wasn't afraid of you punching me...

...I would call you an asshole.

Hey, here he comes.

Coming, coming...

He is right behind you.

Your six o'clock.

Let him be.

Why doesn't he say hello?
Doesn't he remember me?

He doesn't even know your name.

Sir, where are our drinks?

Hang on, who ordered the black tea?

Me, Vivien.

He knows your name now.

Hello.

-You are Vivien?
-Yes.

I'm Jamnian.

Hey, I have to meet Jorakae.

Do you remember the way home?

Oh, yes, I'll find my way.

Will you be taking your bicycle with you?

Yes, I'll take it with me.
We'll just meet at home.

So I have to walk back alone?

I can take you home.

I'm so sorry.

Please take care of her.

-Shall we leave?
-Yes.

Uncle, where's the key?

On your motorbike.

-Where is it?
-I don't know.

You lost your key?

It was here when I went in.

Hey, you.

Hey, what happened?

He offered me a ride,
but his key is missing.

That sucks.

Well, I can give her a ride.
You look for the key, okay?

What should we do?

Easy, you have two choices.

Either I take you home,

or you can take my motorbike.

You're holding her hand now?

No, I'm just handing her the key.

So, either I give you a ride
or you can ride home yourself.

Do you have any more shitty ideas?

You have to choose.

She doesn't have a choice.
You've already decided for her.

I choose...

I choose...

What?

I'll let him take me home, okay?

Take care.

You said you'd take me home.

I like it here.

Can we stay here for five minutes?

You never told me

what kind of man you were praying for?

Come on, tell me.

I asked for many things.
But I'd settle for a good person.

Would you?

My dad told me that good conquers all.

He chose my mom
because she was a good person.

He told me that a good partner

will teach the children to be good.

And when there are grandchildren,
they will be taught to be good as well.

And the goodness will spread.

What's with that face?

I am trying to hide my feelings for you.

I like you.

-Hey, you.
-Wait.

We need to talk.

What is it?

I'm leaving the Cropped Pants Gang.

For Vivien?

Yes.

Women will ruin your life.

How can you suddenly stop being bad?

I'm leaving too.

I agree with you on both counts.

Wait, wait. "Both counts"?

The girl.

I meant to ask you about the pictures.
I don't understand.

The dead and the alive are mixed together.

I don't arrange it according to their age,

but according to their prosperity.

The richer ones are at the top.

It's the money worshippers.

I'm sorry.

You're in the second row,
almost the richest, huh?

Who's on top?

People looked down on my dad

and thought he'd never earn
more than my uncle.

It was insulting.

-But my dad kept trying.
-Struggled.

-He saved up.
-Devoted.

Days and years went by.

Until the 12th of February.

He became rich.

-My uncle died.
-The game-changer.

Ten years after that...

Your dad became rich.

My dad died.

They are all dead. Damn.

Sorry, I shouldn't have cursed.

You both wait and see.

By the end of the year...

You'll die.

I'm sorry.

You both wait and see.

I'll make my way to the top
by the end of the year.

Both of them have taken a drastic decision
because of you.

It's bad.

What decision?

To be good people.

It's bad.

Why is it bad to be good?

Because you're the reason for it.

Beautiful tea set.

It was my dad's favorite.

When I miss him, I look at it.

-Grateful.
-When I die,

I'll have it put in my coffin.

So respectable

to put things in the coffin.

It's about being grateful.

It's time. Aren't they here yet?

How could we not come?

Jamnian, Toamon. Come in.

Here, pray to the ancestors.

Go ahead.

Mr. Kajon.

We want to quit.

Why?

Is the money not enough?

It's not about that.

Then what is it?

We just don't want to
extort people anymore.

They want to be good.

Have you lost your mind,
that you are considering being good?

Are you crazy?

You didn't turn up at the meeting,
and now you're quitting.

-Aren't you grateful to the boss?
-Yeah, think about the boss.

-Assholes! I'll blow blades at you.
-Do it.

Hey!

Don't hurt them.

They don't want to be with us.

We'll let them go.

-Are you sure?
-Yes.

Let's go.

-We'd better leave.
-Go!

Boss, it's your dad's tea set!

Dad!

What's going on? I just want a boyfriend.

Why is it such a big deal?

Will I be in danger?

Because of you.

So, about your stress...

What stress?

I enjoy my life every day.

Subconsciously stressed.
But there is a solution.

You are quite stubborn,

so I'll give you an alarm clock
that's already been set

to remind you when it's time to rest
for five or ten minutes.

Alarm.

And rest.

It's about relaxing.

What the hell. Is that so?

-Okay.
-And listen to music.

Like bossa nova or zumba.

Zumba, the one people exercise to?

Yes, that's great music therapy.

Okay, I will try my best.

Is it because of me

that you did something like this?

Won't it be dangerous?

I'm not afraid.

I didn't mean that.

But I'm afraid.

Trust me, I can protect you.

Look.

Awesome.

But I'm still scared.

I told you not to worry.

They'll have to kill me first
to get to you.

Seems like you have flirted
with many girls.

Did you say this to all of them?

I did flirt with a lot of girls,

but I never said this to anyone before.

You sure know what to say to women.

Papa.

Papa, hold me please.

What did you say?

Please hold me.

Hold?

I'm sorry, sorry.

Come here.
I'm sorry, he is not her father.

How many times have I told you
not to call him "Papa"?

Let's go, baby.

Wait, wait up.

Let go.

-But...
-I told you to let go.

Let go.

Let go of me.

I did.

Excuse me.

Ma'am.

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

It's just my asthma.

This is what being a mom is like.

I just hope that when
I'm no longer in this world...

Especially having
a father who doesn't care...

You are able to be by yourself,
isn't that right, baby?

I'd better leave.

I have to go.

Obviously, it's staged.

Nian.

I'm sorry.

I tried to stop your wife and daughter.

But she didn't listen to me.

I know it was a set-up.

I thought I hired the best actress.

What is it now?

Enough.

I'm not making that sound.

It's coming from your bike.

Toa, you've got a flat tire.

Vivien, you can come with me.

What are you guys doing?

Let me give you a ride.

You did that, didn't you?

Yes, I did.

Wanna mess with me?

That's right.

Wait till I get back at you.

I will.

So annoying!

An alarm reminding me to go to sleep!

Mr. Kajon!

What? What is it?

I know the reason they quit.

-What is it?
-Here.

Who is this?

They're wooing this girl.
Her name is Vivien.

-Becoming good people to woo a girl?
-Yes.

Are you sure?
Its effects include pooping and puking.

Just a little will cause your mouth
to foam all day.

Just give it to me.

This is the poison
and this is the antidote.

Hundred bhat for the set.

I don't want the antidote,
just the poison.

-Two hunded for just the poison.
-What?

One should be cheaper.

Cheaper how? It's sold together.

If you just take the poison
and not the antidote,

what can it be paired with?

Why don't you stay home
instead of being out here in the heat?

-Go home and calm down.
-Hey.

"Hey" what? Be respectful.

I am older than you.

If you don't want to buy it, get lost!

Damn kid. Still standing here.

You must have a lot of free time. Go, go.

Get lost!

Here.

-So you want it?
-Yes.

That's it.
You don't have to be annoying.

Thank you, sir.

Why are you in a good mood?

-It's time to pay.
-What is it again?

Just sorted one problem,
here's another one.

Why should I pay?

For your security.

Security, my ass.
I never feel safe when you're around.

Do you want to get beaten up?

I just made a hundred.
I need it to buy food.

It might be your last meal.

Fine then, take it.

That's it. Know your place.

Toa!

Thank you, my friend.

Toa!

I didn't do it. I didn't do anything.

I heard a loud sound.

Hey, come help your boss.

Hey, take him.

Bastard, there are other places to fight.

Everything is damaged.

Everything is ruined.

Hey, damn it. Everything is broken.

Hey!

Brother Don!

What's wrong with my leg?

It's more bent than
a classical dancer's leg. Damn it.

You're very good, Toa.

Hear that sound?

My God.

What's that move?

Both hands.

Enough, that's enough. I'm tired.

Stop staring. Grab his leg.
It'll reach my forehead.

You think you're good-- Hey, Nian.

Let him go.

Let him go?

Let him go?

I won't. I won't.

Something is going to happen to me.

I thought so.

Enough. I'd just straightened it.

Let him go, Mhen.

Hold me before I fall. I have a bad leg.

Let's go. This is embarrassing.

Not so fast. Why are you in a hurry?

Go straight.

You morons.

Shouldn't you thank me?

Hey, what's wrong with you?

You said you were scared for your life
but you still went on a date with him.

I went so I could tell him off.

And did you?

We talked about other things.

Why didn't you talk about this thing?

Don't ask too many questions.
The time just wasn't right.

I even wear my tops
according to the color of the day.

Why is it still like this?

But it's all right.

Jamnian is coming to pick me up.

I'll tell him tomorrow.

Wait, you're gonna go out with him?

Don't make excuses.

He invited me.

I have to keep my word.

Didn't you tell me you were scared?

You should stop hanging out with them.

I won't.

What do you mean?

I mean, next time,
I won't hang out with them.

How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow, I will.

You are such a slut.

I invited you to my house
because I wanted to cook for you.

Well, I have something I need to talk--

It can wait. Eat first.

Wait a minute.

Do you have to wait here?

Yummy. What is it?

Shrimp pancake.

Shrimp?

-I'm allergic to shrimp.
-What?

Lots of it?

Let's say it's all shrimp.

Wait, are you serious?

What's it like?

It'll start itching, eyes get puffy.

Okay, let me see.

Oh, shit!

They are really puffy.

It's like your eyes have butt cheeks.

Stop mocking me.

Let's go to the doctor.

It's okay, I guess.
I didn't have much. It'll get better.

You shouldn't eat any of these.
They are all shrimp.

Do you want some soup?

-Does it have shrimp?
-No.

One minute.

Here.

Touch it.

Here, here.

Oh, you can't see.

-Do you want me to feed you?
-You should.

Okay, okay. Let me.

Open your mouth.

Your eyes look like butt cheeks. Come on.

-Stop mocking me.
-Come on, okay.

How is it? Good?

What is that sound?

What's happening?

Vivien.

Look, her eyes are so ugly and puffy.

It's him. He did it.

Don't change the subject.
He's talking about the poison.

You made her eyes puffy.
The poison might only cause diarrhea.

What if I have diarrhea and die?

Do you ever take anything seriously?
Or you just mess around all the time?

Vivien.

-Your eyes are still puffy.
-I can take care of myself.

Hey, has the swelling
in my eyes gone down?

Much better, still a bit red.

I'm so angry, this is too much.

I told you to stop hanging around
with them.

Fine, I won't next time.

What are those?

Poe blocks, for fortune telling.

If both blocks land
on their flat side three times,

it means that I should break up with them.

Once.

And twice.

Once more and I'll break up with them.

How much longer will you shake that?

Only one landed on the flat side.

How can I break up now?

I think it's up to you.

Yeah, it's all up to me.

I will break up.

You'll see, if they contact me,
I won't go out with them.

I'll break up.

I'll break up.

I'll break up!

Why are you shouting?

Boss.

What is it?

Toamon and Jamnian are stopping us
from collecting the street fee.

-Are they?
-Yes.

I think that girl
is encouraging them both.

Why don't you settle that?

I've been waiting for your order.

Do you want them dead?

I didn't say that.

Hey.

Jamnian.

Shouldn't you thank me?

Nian, look out.

Toa, you almost hit me.

Olympic-level skill.

Wait.

-What are you doing?
-What?

-What are you doing?
-I'm helping you.

-You're not helping at all.
-I'm dealing with them.

-No.
-I'm helping you.

Have you thanked me?

Thank me now. You have to thank me.

Bastard, I'm here to help. Come here.

Let go. Let go. Let go of me.

Brother, do we matter to them at all?

Let's say that we came here
to see them fight.

-There's a problem.
-What happened?

HOW TO INTERPRET DREAMS

"How to interpret dreams."

I dreamt of two horses last night.

Horses mean good people.

That means I have two good people
to choose from.

I have to be cautious
or I'll be in trouble.

But if I'm not certain,
I don't have to choose right now.

I think you are obsessed.

You dreamt of horses
and you think of them.

If you dreamt of fish,
you'd still think of them.

You don't understand.

Dear God, my relationship status now is...

It's very complicated.

Who should I get into a relationship with?

One is nice, the other is cute.

Please show me the way.

Vivien, this is too much.

You're supposed to break up,
not choose between them

as if nothing happened.

What do you want me to do?

I prayed for it,
that's why I'm in this situation.

Then go back to the temple
and take your wish back.

Can we do that? Take our wish back?

It's worth a try.

Don't walk away from me.

What's wrong with you?

Explain it to me.

-Why isn't it over?
-Over?

-Isn't it too much?
-What?

-I helped you.
-Helped me?

You aimed at him but landed on me.

It was a mistake.

You aimed at him but it hit me.
Almost hit my ears.

Come on.

You want more, huh?

Stop it now.

Why are you fighting everyday?

Is it all because of that woman?

Are you serious about her?

Yes.

Then get on your knees
and ask her to marry you if you dare.

-Of course.
-Me too.

Always doing what I do.

Hold on! I was being sarcastic.

You idiots. Think hard!

Proposing to someone is a big deal.

It's not "first come, first serve."

-First come?
-What?

You said, "First come, first serve."

So what?

Hey, what is it?

-Where are you going?
-Stop following me.

Where are you going?

What the hell?

Vivien...

Will you marry me?

What's going on?

Shit, I knew it.

It's one too many.

-Just get rid of one.
-How?

Do you know Russian roulette?

There is one bullet and you take turns.

You'll know who is left.

No! Don't do that.

Girls are always scared.

Why are you so scared?
It's just shooting oneself in the head.

It's not like that.
Are you gambling with lives now?

This has gone too far.

Do you have the courage?

I do.

Me too.

You both are crazy.

You want to die for a woman
you've just met?

Ordinary people don't do this.

Yeah. You've met
extraordinary people, Vivien.

-Yeah, two of them.
-Yes.

Three-people marriage?

Just try it, it's new. We should try it.

How? There'll be three of us.

We'll try to do everything together.

Be it getting the marriage certificate,
the marriage ceremony, living together.

That doesn't sound like trying.

We'll try to live and sleep together.

You can't just use me to try.

We don't try anything
you don't want to do.

But this is crazy.

It sounds interesting.

All three, huh?

Does the law allow that?

-Kung Fu, check out this case.
-Yes. How can I help?

Look up Article 21,
they want a group marriage.

That sounds fun.

Article 21 does not have
any provision for it.

Then you can't get a marriage certificate.

If the law doesn't apply,
let's just get married.

Hey, let her hand go.

Bye.

Damn, why did they even come here?

Boss, there's going to be a surprise
for New Year's.

What is it?

Toa and Jamnian are getting married.

That's right.
They're having a group marriage.

Two grooms, one bride.
Marrying that woman.

-How could they?
-I don't know.

-Did she agree?
-I don't know.

-How will they live together?
-I don't know.

What do you know?

-I know one thing.
-What?

They're having a group marriage.

Yeah.

I know that. Nothing too exciting.
What are you going on about?

You don't go anywhere.

WEDDING CEREMONY

JAMNIAN

VIVIEN

TOAMON

Vivien, say something.

Well, I don't have much to say except...

I will do my best.

If my parents were still alive,

I would tell them...

Daddy,

today is my wedding day.

I wish you were here. But I know
that you are up there in heaven

and wishing the best for me.

And for my mom...

Mom...

Your daughter is getting "husbands."

It's a pity you can't see me get married.

Not just get married,

but get married big time.

Thank you.

Let's hear from the grooms.

Can you please say something?

Don't fight.

Here, here.

Please.

I'm not much of a talker,

so I'll keep it short.

I have nothing to say.

I have a song for Vivien.

The first time we met,
you looked so beautiful.

The day the world spun you to me

Although we have just met...

I want to tell you
that I don't want it to be like this...

I feel that you feel...

I want it to be just the two of us.

I feel that you feel good about me...

There is a third wheel.

I actually don't want to talk about it,

but that someone wants you so bad.

And I don't know the reason,

if he really wants you
or it's just a temporary thing.

I can't hold it back, keep waiting...

Hey!

Will you let me finish?

Why don't you let me finish singing?

I started first.

I snapped my fingers first.

Isn't it enough I let you go first?

-I'm gonna kill you.
-Come on. Why?

Wait, wait, wait.

Nian.

What's going on?

I'm finding my rhythm.

We're having a New Year celebration,

so I wanted to bring the band.

Please, don't make a scene.

This is their wedding party.

They're your brothers too, I beg you.

That's what this is.

My two beloved brothers
are getting married.

-How could I not congratulate them?
-That's right.

Let me see my sister-in-law.

What are you doing?

I'll take a selfie with her.

Come on, don't be so serious.

Come here, girl. Let's take a selfie.

Get the camera. Bring me the camera.

Come here, let's take a selfie.
Look at the camera.

One, two, three.

You are pretty.

I better go back.

If they want to celebrate, let them.

Hey, hurry up.
Get the alcohol here for the party.

Come here.

Bring me the whisky.

Hey, do what you came for.
Stop wasting time.

Did you hear that?
He wants a problem, give him one.

You stay back.

Enough with the stupid roar, go!

God damn it! Move!

Don, what's happening?

A bit tense there.

Just a bit.

Missed my heart.

Don, are you okay?

Do I look okay to you?
Asshole, take me back.

-Go.
-You go.

-Don't, don't.
-Don't help.

Don't push, you old fool.

I'll push you to death,
you foul-mouthed man.

Easy, slow down.

Please line up.

-You move up.
-Right.

That hurts, you bastard.

-I think you should go down.
-Right.

Damn it.

Come on. Doc, what should we do?

All right. I'll count to three,

then you go up a bit and you go down a bit

to line up. Then I'll cut it, okay?

One, two, are you ready?

Shit, doctor!

I'll count again. One, two... three.

Okay, I'm cutting it.

Doc, don't you have a new saw?

I do, but I want to use one at a time.

I'll buy you a new one.

-Really?
-Yeah.

It's your wedding day.
Why don't you look happy?

I'm scared.

They almost killed each other
at the wedding.

I just wanted a good guy.
Why did it have to turn out like this?

They were bad in the past,

but they became good for you, didn't they?

You should be proud
that you brought about this change.

Proud of what?
I'm in trouble because I changed them.

-Take it easy.
-What now, doc?

I will... hold it here and pull it out.

-Wait. So you'll pull it out, right?
-Yes.

Why don't you pull on the long part?
It'll hurt a bit.

But if you pull here,
it'll hurt me a lot more.

That's right. Why didn't I think of that?

Are you a doctor or a carpenter?

I'll count to five and pull.

-Pull it!
-Pull it now?

Let me help you with the suitcase.

Come here.

I'm still scared of being with you guys.

It's so scary, you know?

But it's even scarier

if you aren't with us.

True.

Whether I'm near you or far way,
I'm still scared.

Well, well, you two get along well.

Anything else you want me to carry?

No, it's just me now.

I can carry you too.

Hey, don't be cheeky.

Why does he get to sit next to you?

And you listen to him?

Will you please...

So everyone is happy.

-Vivien.
-I won't move.

-Are you happy now?
-Better.

We have to sleep on the same bed
from tonight?

Which side should we be on?

I don't know.
I'm not okay if you're on his bed.

Me neither.

That's great.

Is this how it should be?

Hey, where are you going?

Do I have to tell you?

Do you think I'm intruding?

You're smart.

He didn't say... Hey!

Brother Don, I got the guy
who'll help us. Here he is.

-Great.
-Hey, come in.

Who is this?

You'll find out.

Why did you get a barber?

So many tools.

And a razor blade.

Sit down.

Shit, right next to my ears.
Sharpening away...

Fuck, if it was blunt,
why didn't you sharpen it at home?

I'm the Barber Killer.

-So he is a killer.
-Yes.

I'll do two things for those who hire me.

One, kill the target.

Two, shave my employer's beard.

You can forget about the latter.

Don't make me angry.

I beg you.

It took me 50 years to grow my beard.

It'll all be for nothing if you shave it.

Why are you shaking? Are you an alcoholic?

-I quit.
-Since when?

-Since yesterday.
-Shit, only yesterday.

Let me shave your face.

You could have asked first.

Let me ask you something.

How do you kill people?

I'm happiest killing while doing my job.

How about when you shave a face?

Are you challenging me?

It was just a question, you bastard.

You look so unfriendly.

So fierce.

With someone like him,

we'll take them down.

What? Why can't I slow down?

Shit, what's happening?

NEW LAND MARKET

This killer...

If you're familiar with his methods...

You'll know he is merciless.

He is cruel.

We'll get them this time.

Look out!

The brakes aren't working. Move!

Out of the way, move!

Why are you all gathered here? Back off!

He's dying here.

Definitely dying.

Hit and run.

Bro, that barber
was killed in an accident.

Wait, don't leave yet.

-Let's talk.
-What a pity.

-Yeah, a pity.
-He was stupid and careless.

That's why I'm worried.

-Calm down, bro.
-I won't.

I have another plan.

Another plan?

What is this?

Hey. Here, what is this?

The Boomerang Killer.

Easy, you'll break the screen.

Vivien.

What are you doing?

I had some time in my hands,
so I thought we'd go for a ride.

All right.

Hey, Toamon. What happened to you?
Why do you look like that?

I don't know who cut the brake wire.
And the throttle is stuck.

I had to ride
until the gas tank was empty.

How unlucky.

And his face turned red.

That looks funny.

Was it you? Did you do it?

I didn't.

You look suspicious. It must be you.

I told you I didn't.

Can't you understand Thai?

-Let's go.
-Sure.

-Where are you going?
-Just for a ride.

I'll come with you.

-Haven't you had enough?
-I'm coming.

I won't let you.
It's my bike, I won't let you.

-Toamon...
-I don't care. I'm coming.

Let's go.

Mhen, when will he come?

I look like beef jerky by now.

Here he comes.

How do you do?

My name is Mr. Boomerang.

Wait, wait.

-What is this?
-My signature.

I see.

Yeah, okay.

These two are my assistants.

-Kevin.
-Kevin.

-David.
-David.

And I'm Angry.

Angie.

No, Angry.

Yeah, Angie.

I speak very clearly.

Open the briefcase and make sure

my boomerang is shown to him, okay.

This is my boomerang.

How good is your boomerang?

What are you saying?

I'm asking how good your boomerang is.

What are you saying?

Hey! Calm down.

What's your problem, Angie?

Calm.

We need to sell this. We need to sell it.

-I know, man.
-Calm down. Relax.

He insulted me, okay?
I can't take it anymore.

Just show him what this can do.

One at a time, I can't catch up.

Calm down.

-Calm down.
-Breathe.

-Relax.
-Okay.

Give me a touch, man.

Be cool, be cool.

Okay.

You don't decide,

don't make a hasty decision,
if you don't see...

If you haven't seen the real thing,
let's see it now.

You should have just spoken Thai.

You don't need to speak English.

Why make it confusing? Go ahead.

Watch this.

Okay, we're watching.

What is it?

Don't interrupt.

Oh, my God, incredible!

You threw it there,
and turned to catch it this way.

Uncle, you'll never understand...

Fuck, he called me uncle.

...where my boomerang has been.

Yeah, I don't know where it has been.

So how would I know if it's good?

What are you saying?

That's why I asked you earlier.

You've done this many times?

I don't know what he's doing.

Don, come over here.

-I'm gonna go move your car.
-Come here.

Okay, okay.

Just be cool, man.

Who's he talking to?

Just be cool.

You'll see how my boomerang travels.

See it with your own eyes.

We are all here. Who is he talking to?

It's my style.

It's his style.

-His signature.
-I see.

That's not human. What is it?

Just picking up his stuff.

One, two...

Never seen anyone count before.

That's Pyongyang Circus!

Pyongyang.

You should go on tour.

-He is good.
-Not bad at all.

-What now?
-That's all I can do.

Don't feel insecure.

What's wrong?

It's okay.

You did well.

-I've had enough.
-Enough of what?

I beg you, I've had enough.

I like it.

You are good, come on. Okay.

Okay, I'll take it.

He likes you.

Yeah, okay. It's good.

Excuse me, anyone feeling uncomfortable?

Why, don't you have enough space?

Can I swap?

Our informant told us

that those three are on a bike,
at the beach,

around the fifth milestone.

Very detailed.

They should reach
the tenth milestone in five minutes.

But I don't think it's enough information.

Plenty.

Wherever they are,

I'll cut their heads off.

My boomerang will be stuck to their heads.

Great.

Sorry, but I'm still not comfortable.

-I almost fell.
-Right.

Do you want to move? Sit in front of me.

Shut it, Nian.
Just so you can hug her, right?

It's my bike. I ride, I can hug her.

-Let me ride then.
-No way.

-I want to.
-I won't let you.

-I'll hug her.
-No way.

I'll just sit here.

-Just keep riding.
-Jerk.

Angie, if you succeed,
I'll reward you handsomely.

-You should have led with that.
-Okay.

Here we go.

I'm hit.

Boss, with all due respect,
you were in his way.

Come on, man. It's my time, okay?

Okay.

Stop walking around.
You got me to do the show.

Go on then.

The wind is blowing in this direction.

If I take a stance here...

Only three kilometers.

Estimated distance.

Five kilometers.

Ten kilometers.

Three is enough.

It'll be the Twelfth of Never
when it goes 10.

No talking.

Hey. What's that sound?

What is it?

Look out, boomerang!

Boomerang?

God damn it!

Hurry up, Nian. Go faster! Faster!

Oh, shit!

I should not have switched places.

Is it here yet?

Watch the road. Straight ahead.

-Watch the road.
-Is it here?

Watch the road, don't turn around.
Watch the road.

Nian, speed up! Faster, faster!

Faster!

Why is the boomerang turning back?

Hey, check it out.

Is that it?

There, I knew it!

Wake up! Wake up!

Your man! Boomerang Man!

Hey, come back...

Vivien, where are you going?

I'm leaving. This is too dangerous.

I told you I can protect you.
Don't be scared.

No, I'll die.

Vivien, don't leave.

Hey, stop it.

If you don't stop, I'm gonna kiss you.

Stop.

This water is so refreshing.

Nian, you meant to interrupt me,
didn't you?

I didn't.

Take your time.
Let me know when you finish.

I need to talk to Vivien.

If you want to watch...

Come.

Are you crazy?
How can we kiss in front of other people?

Why not, Vivien?

We're a couple, we can kiss anywhere.
There's nothing wrong with that.

I guess.

Come here.

Nian, what are you doing?

You said so.
A husband can kiss his wife anywhere.

I only kissed her on the cheek.

Fine, you wanna play?

Vivien, I really have to kiss you now.

What's going on here?

-That's good.
-Isn't it?

What the hell!

Aren't my lips soft?

You're crazy. I'm sorry.
You can kiss me back.

Kiss my elbow.

Are you serious?

Why did you kiss me?

What is this place?

We have been targeted.

You should learn how to protect yourself.

What I'm teaching you is called Wing Chun.

Just learn these easy moves.

We attack the weak points,

which are in a straight line.

The eyes, neck, the xiphoid process...

Hey! That's the boobies.

The xiphoid process.

The Wing Chun stance.

Form a triangle like this.

If you want to avoid the opponent,

step 45 degrees to the side.

If you want to go right,

step right.

If you want to go left,

step left.

Try to punch me.

Will this be enough to protect myself?

Sure.

What are you doing?

I'll show her how.

Here.

You slapped me?

No, Nian.

Sounds like pants ripping.

Is it mine?

How could it be yours?

It's mine. Get down.

Toa, did you rip your pants?

Vivien, Toamon ripped his pants.

-What now?
-Don't show me.

-Just a little.
-No.

Ask Vivien. Tell him.

-Yeah, a little.
-See, just a little.

-Not just a little.
-Let me see.

Nian!

You've got nice legs.

I think your body is not functioning.

If you are stressed,

it'll be soon.

Are you done?

Get out of here.

And never come back.

As you wish.

This is the best I can do.

I have an assignment for you.

I'm listening.

Are you done?

Yes, I'm coming down.

I think we have a problem.

What is it?

Where are Jamnian and Toamon?

They left early this morning.

I think you should leave.

What about you?

I'll come with you.

Honey, let's go.

It's okay. You two leave first.

I'll stall them.

My hubby.

Why is this happening to me?

Calm down.

Start the bike, come on.

It's not working.

Here they are.

-It's not working.
-They're here.

Still not working.

We're gonna die.

Why didn't you turn the key first?

Started.

Hey, what about me?

She's getting away.

Why did you bring me here?

I have nothing to do with this.

I'm willing to do anything
to get what I want.

Money?

Why?

Is money your god?

Money is not a god.

Money is God's daddy.

You are an asshole.

I'm not surprised

that Jamnian and Toamon
chose to be different.

Sharp tongue.

Hey! Teach her some manners.

Don't come any closer.

Are you hurt? Don't move.

There's trouble.

It's Vivien. She's been kidnapped.

Do you want her back?

How are you this good?

-Move over there.
-Hey!

-Just sign here.
-Great.

Sign over your properties to Mr. Kajon

and Vivien will be returned.

Vivien.

Hey.

Finally.

It's time for the exchange.

This is what you want.

You can have your woman.

What are you staring at?

Get lost! Before I change my mind.

Is it over?

CONVEYANCING CONTRACT

Don! Boss is in trouble.

Boss.

-Boss.
-Boss.

Boss.

-He is dead.
-Oh, no!

How strange.

You got what you wanted, then you died.

All three living together,
won't it get messy?

Don't worry, it's almost over.

How do you know?

Vivien has chosen one of them.

I see.

Promise me you won't get angry.

I choose...

Choose...

Toamon, I choose you, Jamnian.

So who is it?

Jamnian.

Why did you say "Toamon" at the beginning?

The full sentence is...

Toamon, listen.

I choose you, Jamnian.

Okay.

I get it.

You didn't choose me.

But you promised not to get angry.

Why did you choose him?

The incident that day
made me realize something.

That day when you were kissing me,

and Jamnian saw,

I felt so bad.

I don't want Jamnian
to see me kissing anyone else.

How do you know?
If it was him kissing you,

you might not have wanted me to see it.

Want to try?

Don't be silly. I feel shy.

Okay, you win.

Boss, I have something to tell you.

-Go ahead.
-We've both decided

to dissolve the Cropped Pants Gang.

Actually, it's you who made us realize

that you can't take
anything with you after death.

Even the things we love.

Sometimes, there is no happiness
to be found in them. Right?

But, congratulations,

you finally made it
to the top of your family tree,

like you had wished.

Anyway,

I put your dad's favorite tea set
in your coffin.

Did you see?

SAMHAO
BAR

Did I make a mistake?

What do you mean?

A mistake, what mistake?

You like all that?

Just tell me. I can do it.

No, sit down.

Who would like that?

I like it your way.

Nian, Nian.

What?

There are more than enough.

You're with your wife. Sorry.

-Boobies!
-Shit, really?

My boobies, mine!

Pink boobies.

Subtitle translation by
Thanatcha Saksiamkul