Original subtitles

Hey Honey.

Hi Mum.

Just wanted to let you know I am on my way home.

I’m in the taxi now so shouldn't be much longer.

Have you left the spare key for me?

Yes. under the far right flower pot.

Ok thank you. How are you and Dad doing?

Have you sorted flights back yet?

Not yet. The Hotel is closing tomorrow so we're going

to the embassy today to see what they can do about it.

The airlines have been bloody useless.

But I'll text you. Should only be a matter of time.

Ok.

Are you all sorted though?

Yeah Absolutely.

University have set some online lectures

and I've got some dissertation stuff to get on with so

I'll just be studying from home this week.

But they don't know how long this will go on for.

They've said three weeks but could be longer.

It'll all blow over eventually. Just keep yourself inside until

we get back. Save yourself collecting a fine or anything.

Yeah. Yeah will do.

Are you and Dad alright though?

I mean you haven't got any symptoms or anything?

No no. We've just been tested and we're fine.

It's why the consulate are in a rush to get people like us home.

Well, at least those safe enough to travel.

Right. No, that makes sense.

I just feel bad for the airline staff.

I mean, what a time to be in that industry.

It could be worse. I've been put under this furlough scheme.

Lucky me, but anyway.

If you need anything just let us know. Ok?

No that's fine. Um right. I'll talk to you later then.

Alright Honey. Stay safe. I love you. Take care.

Yeah alright. Love you. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Cheers.

No signal. Yep. Haven't missed that.

Hello room.

Many people living in isolated areas will have to request

a visit from social workers who will provide remote testing

for those in the at risk category and are unable to visit a testing centre.

However, the home office warns that these won't be available for some time.

With the toll of the disease rapidly increasing to the level of

the influenza virus, the World Health Organisation is demanding world leaders

to take the threat more seriously and say more decisive action is needed.

Latest figures show that over three thousand new cases are being

reported daily with more than 700 deaths worldwide.

(Guitar Video)... and C major and G major.

(Online Class)...to illustrate the narrator's insanity.

Good morning. I'm here from the local authorities about the current situation.

I’ve got a Mr and Mrs Brookes registered here.

Um. No sorry. They're abroad at the moment.

I'm their son.

Oh I see travel issues.

Yeah. Something like that.

Well because they're in the most at risk group it's my job to come

to check on certain residents in isolated areas.

Okay.

So we're just making inquiries.

Yeah yeah.

Are you living here on your own?

Yeah yeah just me at the moment.

Ok well can I come inside? I've got a few bits here to help you with self isolating.

Sure of course. Come on in.

Can I get you a cup of tea or something?

I don't think that's the best thing to do given the current situation.

But don't worry won't be long.

Yeah yeah.

So how long have you been self isolating for?

About two weeks.

Ok and it's just you living here?

Just me.

Are you fully stocked for food?

Yeah. Yeah yeah. Should be- (coughs)

Sorry.

I've got a few delivery slots. Do you have any idea how long this will go for?

Your guess is as good as ours.

Look, are you suffering from any symptoms?

No no I don't think so.

Okay. Well I've got a test kit here actually so if you like we

can do a sample and just text you when the results are in.

Sure yeah.

I didn't notice a car in your driveway, so I take it you don't drive?

No.

Alright. Well if there is an emergency, foodwise or healthwise or anything

you can consult that leaflet for government support.

Oh great.

And I better take that swab.

Yes.

So we'll call round again when your parents are home.

If you can pass the information on to them.

And if you've got any concerns you can check the pamphlet

and there's a help number on there.

Brilliant. Okay.

Yeah? Alright okay. Bye.

Bye. Thanks. See you later.

RINGTONE - Beethoven's 5th Symphony.

Hello.

Hey. That was quick.

Yeah. Yeah I wasn't doing much.

How have you been?

How is lockdown treating you?

Yeah not bad. Um.

Parents still aren't home. Flight got cancelled so, held up

at the consulate with a bunch of other people trying to get home.

I'm sorry.

It could be worse. I mean.

They'll get home eventually. Apparently, the number of cases are lower down there.

Oh that's good. Bit of hope there.

Yeah. Bit of hope.

And how are you doing?

Fine.

Yeah fine. Um. Keeping busy.

Got plenty of work to do so uh...

What about you?

Um just back in Maida Vale again.

Oh. My sister, you know I said she was studying sports medicine.

Yeah.

She's been pulled into the NHS so none of us are allowed out really. High risk. You know.

Bless her though. I mean, the real heroes.

Yeah. She's the best.

I miss you.

I know.

I wasn't planning on calling but, given the time right now.

Shame we couldn't have figured this out before lockdown.

Yeah. Yeah.

No. It's fine though. I just want to make this work.

I mean when this is all over. Once we're back in uni

we can continue what we were doing and focus on us.

Yeah. Yeah that'd be great.

You don't sound so thrilled. What's up?

Nothing.

Nothing. I just um-

I don't wanna talk about it.

You worried that much?

I didn't say that.

Say something at least? You know we shouldn't stop having these-

CALL DROPS

I don't know what she expects me to say to her.

I don't think she even understands that I'm upset.

You just- you don't care. You don't care what happened.

You don't care about how it affected me.

I do. You never wanted to talk about it.

Can you blame me?

Why him?

Of all the people why him? he's such a-

Fucking dickhead. I hate that guy.

I know. It was just one time.

I know. It was just one time. I don't want to dwell on the past. It's done now.

I don't want to dwell on the past. It's done now.

I just want to think of us.

You shouldn't have fucking slept with him then.

That's not fair.

That's not fair.

(Singing to Beethoven's 5th Symphony) Soup soup soup soup.

Soup soup soup soup.

Soup soup soup soup soup soup...

Soup! Hm.

The Government in association with the World Health Organisation

has advised European nations to close borders immediately. In an attempt

to limit international travel. The Prime Minister in his most recent conference

has enforced a longer quarantine period for the UK. Closing all of its borders for

the remainder of this month. The Chief of Staff at No.10 has outlined weekly

assessments to determine the end of these protocols but has warned that

the protocols in question will not ease for some time. We have been hearing

reports of thousands of UK citizens who are currently stuck abroad

with no knowledge of when they'll be able to return home.

Over two thousand flights have already been cancelled. With a further

five thousand more flights expected, following the collapse of

travel company Thomas Cook.

The current advice for anyone stuck abroad is to visit their

nation's local embassy and request emergency accommodation.

Perfect.

TV SOUNDS

TV SOUNDS

RINGTONE Beethoven's 5th Symphony.

Hello?

Hey. Just wanted to check up on you.

You sound a bit grim.

Uh yeah. Yeah yeah. I think I caught it.

You holding up alright?

Uh. no.

Well, my brother had it too. He's on the mend now too. So yeah.

Just means me and my family can't leave for a few more weeks.

Well whatever it is, it is rough.

Yeah.

Haven't felt this bad for a while.

Yeah.

The treatment they sent us has done wonders for Will. He's past the worst of it now.

Yeah.

Well beer doesn't go with it. I can tell you that much.

Oh please take care of yourself.

Yeah yeah. I will. I will.

I won't be making that mistake for a while.

And what about your parents?

Parents? Oh, they're still out there. No idea when they'll be back.

Feels like it's getting worse and worse.

Hey. Where's your optimism gone?

Well things usually have to get worse before they get better.

There it is. (laughs and coughs)

We'll get there. But back to you. Stay warm. Keep drinking water

and take those tablets and you'll be fine.

CALL DROPS

Fuck sake.

We'll make it don't worry.

That's easy for you to say. You're stuck at home with you family.

You've still got me right here.

Oh lucky me.

Shut up.

It'll be over soon.

I'm sorry I slept with him.

No I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I got mad about it. We weren't even together at the time.

I feel bad about it. Just wish I properly tell you. I know it bothers you.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter now.

This fucking sucks.

What does?

This. I'm alone. I'm ill and I'm fucking bored.

I just wish you were here.

I know.

I wish I was too.

PHONE RINGTONE

Hello?

Hey you.

How are things in the land of the living?

Uh. Not a lot of living going on.

I can tell you it's not much better here. We've now been moved again

we've been put up in a hostel now with everyone else trying to get home.

Have they given you bunk beds?

Ah yes.

Have you got the top bunk?

Obviously. Didn't think your father would get it over me.

Oh no but seriously, how are you two?

Can't be right shoving you all in together like that.

They haven't even done any tests on anyone so who knows.

Your father is paranoid about his diabetes. He's running out of his tablets.

Can't the embassy provide?

Different health care system here. Tried to ring the insurance companies

to arrange something different but it's all very frustrating.

Anyway, what about things your end? Taking care of the house?

Yeah. Yeah.

Actually, I’m- I’m ill.

So, the government has sent me this, this care package with some medicine and stuff.

But I've had to throw out some of the china I've used.

What? Why would you need to throw away the china?

Well, it's what the kit says. Get rid of anything I've infected basically.

Didn't you try to steam them first?

No.

Oh God don't be so stupid. You can't...can’t you just disinfect them?

Well hang on. It's got my germs and stuff on them haven't they.

Oh come on. No.

All you need to do is run them through with very hot soapy water what the hell are you-

HANGS UP

Fucking typical.

No concern for me whatsoever.

Well consider what it's like for your father and me.

Stuck in a foreign country trying to get home.

It's New Zealand. It's barely foreign.

Yes, because being shoved around from place to place is a blast.

It's still New Zealand. Like it's better than here.

Don't act like you don't want us there.

Of course I want you here! I'm ill. I'm fucking ill.

I'm miserable. and I’m sick of this pointless fucking lockdown.

It's no safer here than anywhere else. It's the same fucking virus wherever you go.

(Singing to the tune of “let it be”) Drinking Whiskey comforts me.

Helps to ease the pain of Quarantine!

Quarantine. Quarantine. Quarantine.

There will be an answer. Quarantine.

(hummin) Quarantine. There will be an answer. Quarantine.

TV SHOW JINGLE

Welcome back. Today we're in Oxfordshire. Taking a look at this late 19th century

chestnut finish grandfather clock. Brought in for appraisal today by the Warren family.

You can see the fantastic detail in the face which tells us a lot about when this item was crafted.

Clock perv.

So? What if I do have a thing for old shit?

I couldn't care less how you get your rocks off mate. But feeling up all clocks. Bit weird.

At least I'm on television right now. What are you doing?

Watching your shit TV show.

Go watch some shit on Netflix or something.

I would, but this crap is all I got.

What a bloody shame. No streaming services.

You should do a Netflix special. Oh wait no. You're stuck feeling up clocks.

If it's so shit, why are you still watching?

Do you know what when this thing is over you should try doing this job.

Ah no wait. You don't have the depth, precision, the dedication to produce and host a programme of this quality.

Ah yes. A programme built for the intellectuals among us.

Very prestigious.

So you're above everyone?

I bet. You're having a wonderful time in all this. Mr Presenter.

I could claim to. You could also claim to. You have this big house.

All this space. All to yourself. No children to look after or worry about. No rent to pay.

What could you possibly have to worry about?

But you're bored aren't you. Bored of your big TV and your home deliveries.

Bored of scrolling on your precious phone.

Why don't you whip it out right now and plug into the bullshit.

Posting and blogging about how creative you are.

How much you've accomplished in this time

How much you deserve praise

No.

Thousands of people are dying.

But hey! I baked a banana bread.

You just want someone to acknowledge you exist.

Self-actualisation. You are sat right here feeling sorry for yourself.

Basting in your self-pity.

Have you called your parents yet? See how they're doing?

Am I right in saying your Dad is high risk? Stuck abroad. Medication running low. Embassy won't help.

I don't even think you've given a second’s thought to how scared they must be. Has it crossed your mind they might get infected?

They might not make it home at all. But no. You’re sat here day after pointless day. Consuming and whining. Slowly letting your body fuse

into the John Lewis fucking furniture. This is your existential proof. You do exist and you're a baby.

You can blame everyone else. Blame anyone but yourself. The Government. Corporations. The media. Well take aim and fire.

Won't change anything. There's a bigger picture out there you just don't see.

It just doesn't matter that you're inconvenienced for a couple of months. You see we still don't know how long this is going to go on for.

We don't know how many more people it is going to take.

So ask yourself who's worth saving? Nurses? The police? artists or scientists? Who's life is most important?

What about you? Sat here in your arse crevice.

Do you think you're worth saving?

Fuck off!

What the fuck is that?

Fuck it.

Come on.

When do the bins go out?

Not fun.

FOOTSTEPS UPSTAIRS.

WATER DRIPPING

All this water for one person?

Bit greedy.

If you'd asked nicely.

What? You would have shared? Sure.

All this food. All this space. Practically luxury.

This is my home.

Right. You could afford all this? Mummy and Daddy's house?

Where are they?

You all by yourself? Lucky you got me here to keep you company.

Hey. Oi oi oi.

I haven't got much here. I'm trying to make that last.

Fuck off! Try that again and I blow your fucking brains out!

You're a smart boy. Saved up all your food. Smart. Most weren't. Fuck off.

I haven't seen another person in ten days. So I'm gonna talk your ear off if you like it or not.

Don't know what your missing out in here. You'd love it out there.

It's all very refreshing.

What's your name?

Tough nut. Like that. It's alright. Used to talking to myself. When you're alone this long you start imagining having company.

Love this tinned pastas.

Can you please just leave?

No. I don't think I will.

Besides I got nowhere to be. You know this house is miles from anywhere. Must of crossed a million miles of fields

before finding this place. Was glad to find it though let me tell you. Was in London a few weeks ago.

I saw this banker shoving everything into this car. Ornaments. Tacky paintings. You know the important stuff.

All into the back of this oversized Bmer.

Then we came along.

Didn't used to rob people. But the whole went to shit. Do what you can.

Not sure if leaving town was the right choice. Had no idea where I was going.

No way I was hanging about in that mess know what I mean.

Too many crowds. Too much fighting.

Just turned crazy.

You've got it made here. Totally alone out here.

I bet nobody bothers you.

Well. Almost no one.

Nice home you've got here.

Mind if I take a look around? I've spent a long time trying to get right here.

I'm going to take my sweet time.

Yes.

Come on. Come on.

THIEF: Cheeky fucker.

Hoarding bottles of this are we. Lucky bastard.

Strong stuff. Your fuse box is out as well. Might wanna get that looked at.

What a warm reception.

Shut the fuck up.

All I wanted was some water.

I would have given you some if you hadn't broken in and tried to kill me.

When did I try to kill you?

You pushed me down the fucking stairs.

Right. Sorry about that.

Would it help if I told you I was a nurse?

You had this on you as well.

Just be thankful I didn't use it on you.

Fake gun trick was pretty good.

Fooled you. Almost.

I'd have let you off if it wasn't for this. But this… (coughing)

I feel like shit. (laughs) Like I care.

Come off it Superman.

Like I could take someone down like you.

So got it? I avoided it for weeks.

Some dick stole my pills. Some dick like YOU stole your pills.

You don’t know how lucky you are out here by yourself.

You keep saying that. Why?

There's no water. What?

There's no water. Reservoirs ran dry. people started looting. riots. It's wild out there.

Do you have any idea what's going on?

Oh my God. You don't do you?

How long you been alone for?

And that's why you broke in? To loot?

No. I was just desperate.

(laughs) You're full of shit.

Yeah? It won't last forever.

You'll run out soon too and more people like me will come around. It’s just a matter of time.

Whatever you say.

WATER GURGLES

Fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck.

Come on.

DISTANT WHISPERS

THIEF’S VOICE: More people like me will come around.

THIEF’S VOICE: It's just a matter of time.

PIPE GURGLES.

DISTANT WHISPERS

What were you expecting?

An angel to come down from above to bring back your prime time TV?

Can you blame a guy for trying?

Sure. Sitting in your dust castle. Thinking of better days.

Eating out of those.

It's a nice castle.

How do those beans taste now?

DISTANT WHISPERS

You smell awful.

Shower doesn't work.

You're dying in here.

Well you know what? I'd rather die in here than die out there with everyone else.

It's no safer in here than it is anywhere else. It's the same fucking virus wherever you go.

Alright. What's keeping you here? What the hell are you waiting for?

I’m waiting for them to come home.

No one's coming home.

VOICES FROM OUTSIDE

MUFFLED VOICES Reckon we can get in through the upstairs window?

DISTANT WHISPERS

MUFFLED VOICES Give me a hand getting the door open.

MUFFLED VOICES Come out come out wherever you are.

All this water for just one person.

DISTANT WHISPERS

DISTANT WHISPERS

Your call cannot be connected. Please hang up and try again.

UK_GOV - YOU MUST STAY AT HOME!