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1
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:10,811
*
2
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,184
*
3
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,085
Leave it.
4
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,586
Hey, just leave it!
5
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:28,662
*
6
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:40,841
*
7
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,444
Behind the dumpster, quick!
8
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,313
Get down, shh, shh.
9
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:49,683
Please, don't hurt them.
10
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:56,757
*
11
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:04,132
*
12
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:13,141
*
13
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:18,312
Now that's what
I call a hole in one.
14
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:32,726
*
15
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,198
There's the shock.
16
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,203
And awe.
17
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:50,844
*
18
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:57,218
*
19
00:01:57,251 --> 00:02:00,154
Hey kid, I think
you dropped this.
20
00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:01,855
*
21
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,357
You're safe now.
22
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:05,659
Can't say the same for
the rest of humanity.
23
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,728
Who are you?
24
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,798
-I'm Future Man.
-Joshy.
25
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:14,235
-No, I'm Future Man.
-Joshy!
26
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,205
-Future Man.
27
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,439
Joshy?
28
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:20,808
Joshy!
29
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,482
Dad, you don't have
to wake me up, okay?
30
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:29,783
I have an alarm clock.
31
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,919
Yeah, but not one that
makes you pancakes.
32
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,655
Come on, you little buddy boo.
33
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:37,558
I'm an adult, you don't
have to make me pancakes!
34
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,865
My joystick!
35
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:49,737
*
36
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,448
-Yo!
-Hey, Futterman!
37
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,350
-I'm doing good,
38
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:03,884
uh, except I need
another joystick.
39
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,319
Another one,
what happened?
40
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,288
You spazzed out
playing Biotic Wars?
41
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,757
Smashed your joystick...again?
42
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,692
Why you still playing
that stupid game?
43
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:12,926
I know why.
44
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,963
Because he spanks it
to this one--Tiger!
45
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,765
That is not true, I do
not spank it to Tiger.
46
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,400
Dude, you spank it
to Tiger so much,
47
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,435
your right hand should
be called Siegfried, man.
48
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:22,536
Bam, you like that?
49
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,571
I've been working
on my slams.
50
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:24,838
Look, don't worry about it.
51
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,874
We all jerk it
to video game people.
52
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,342
I mean, she's not my type.
53
00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:29,677
I prefer Ms. Pac-Man.
54
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,380
Ms. Pac-Man is married
to Mr. Pac-Man.
55
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,382
No, because then
she would be called
56
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,517
Mrs. Pac-Man,
this is Ms. Pac-Man.
57
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,452
This is essentially
Pac-Man's daughter.
58
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:39,920
I'm fucking Pac-Man's daughter
59
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,889
under Pac-Man's roof and
she's gobbling my dick like
60
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,524
homp, homp, homp.
61
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,493
Me personally, I've always
wanted to fuck Luigi.
62
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,494
I love Italian dick.
63
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,762
I bet Luigi's dick,
the whole dick is hairy.
64
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:49,930
The whole dick.
65
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,600
Plus he has a dragon
that shits eggs
66
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,602
like a chicken,
that's fucking dope.
67
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:58,472
Look, Luigi wouldn't last
one day in the Biotic Wars.
68
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,442
And, by the way, think about
Super Mario Bros. as a whole.
69
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,444
It's a ridiculous game,
it makes no sense at all.
70
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,778
What do you mean,
what do you mean?
71
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,347
What do you mean,
"What do you mean"?
72
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,948
Bowser builds a castle,
he knows there's little
73
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,617
Italian plumbers that
are trying to stop him,
74
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:10,918
but yet he makes
these giant green pipes
75
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,453
that lead right inside.
76
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,054
-That makes no sense.
-No, 'cause it's destiny.
77
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,523
!
-That's how you know
78
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,391
it's meant to be,
he had big pipes.
79
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,059
And the one thing
he didn't see coming
80
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,629
was two Italian plumbers that
fit exactly in those pipes.
81
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,397
Those games suck, come on!
82
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,565
Your games suck.
83
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,634
Yeah, your game is
literally unbeatable.
84
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,402
That is why I play it,
85
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,970
because it's unbeatable.
86
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,339
Think about it.
87
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,773
How many people
have beaten Halo?
88
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,308
How many people have
beaten Call of Duty
89
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,009
or BioShock?
90
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,778
I play this game because
no one has beaten it.
91
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,480
Why would I want to beat a
game that everyone can beat?
92
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:40,748
There's nothing
special about that.
93
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,949
That's a true truth.
94
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,384
Okay, I don't
have time for this,
95
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,552
I have to get to the lab.
96
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,654
Yeah, have fun
saving the world.
97
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:51,525
*
98
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:54,395
Earth 2162.
99
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:57,598
The human race is on
the brink of extinction.
100
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,901
The biotics, a super
race immune to disease,
101
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,436
have released
a deadly virus
102
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,837
killing nearly
all of Earth's
103
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,639
40 billion inhabitants.
104
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:12,713
*
105
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:13,681
Hey Carl.
106
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,416
Hey, Josh, how are you?
107
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,550
Living the dream.
108
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,819
*
109
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,422
What's left of humanity
hangs on by a thread,
110
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,925
defended by a small army
known as the Resistance.
111
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:27,595
I'm Tiger, this is Wolf.
112
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:28,829
You're our newest recruit.
113
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,030
Come fight.
114
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,565
Welcome to the Resistance.
115
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,669
Would you like to load
previous game, Future Man?
116
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,371
Yes, I would.
117
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,407
Let's fuck this place up.
118
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,709
Rip his fucking dick off!
119
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,478
Weapon upgrade,
X28 Psychoblaster.
120
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,414
Nice, X28 Psychoblaster.
121
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:47,515
Enemy vehicle approaching.
122
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,016
Use your subatomic
sensor mine.
123
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:49,883
Thank you for that, Wolf.
124
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,085
-Blow 'em back to hell.
-Yeah, hoo!
125
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,155
Come on, come on, yes!
126
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,458
-I live for blood!
-Hey, Josh.
127
00:05:57,491 --> 00:06:00,127
Hoo, how long have
you been in here, buddy?
128
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,629
It smells bad.
129
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,432
You know you're surrounded
by cleaning supplies?
130
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,999
Yeah, yeah, no, I know,
I just--I'm in the middle
131
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,468
of something right now, man.
132
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:08,836
Look, buddy, I hate
to tell you this,
133
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,404
but you might have
an unhealthy obsession
134
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:11,739
with this video game.
135
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,073
It's not unhealthy.
136
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,775
So that's not a water bottle
137
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:17,177
filled with your piss so you
don't have to stop playing?
138
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,012
No, no, it's apple juice.
139
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,449
-'Cause I'm not thirsty.
140
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,183
You're so thirsty right now,
141
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,552
and you love apple juice.
142
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,352
Not that much.
143
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,054
It's your third
favorite juice.
144
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,155
Not thirsty, dude.
145
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,190
Why you sweating right now?
146
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,659
You parched,
you want a sip?
147
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:32,626
Nope.
148
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,027
It's 'cause it's piss.
149
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,063
Anyway, what level are you on?
150
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,765
-Hoo, 83.
151
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,132
-Yep, yep.
-Pause Level 83
152
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,768
That's the one you
always die on, right?
153
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,069
It is, and every time
I come back with more
154
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,504
and more weapons, however...
155
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,972
I have never made it
this far with this many
156
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,907
weapons in my arsenal.
157
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,776
Get ready to witness history.
158
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:54,181
-Kill 'em all!
-To the left, to the left!
159
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,716
I'm dead.
160
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,751
That was fast!
161
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,152
So brutal.
162
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,688
They took all your limbs.
163
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,089
Yeah, they always do.
164
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,757
Well, at least it helped
me take my mind off
165
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,493
all the shits I have
to plunge for a while.
166
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,960
I am so glad
you said that
167
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,696
'cause I did not
have a graceful way
168
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:09,997
to segue into this, um,
169
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,198
but there's actually
170
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,767
more shits for you
to plunge, buddy.
171
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,002
I'm sorry.
172
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,738
It's okay, man,
it's not your fault.
173
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:21,509
Well, actually,
one of 'em was.
174
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:27,848
*
175
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,550
* Got a good thing
176
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,219
*
177
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,854
* Got a good thing
178
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,757
*
179
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:40,127
* Got a good thing going,
got a good thing going *
180
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,195
If you were as good at
cleaning as you are at leering,
181
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,231
you'd be a pretty
good janitor.
182
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,666
But you aren't.
183
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,868
You are a shitty janitor.
184
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,504
Dr. Camillo, please,
just give me a break.
185
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,574
Oh, we gave Dr. Yakamura
a break to his collar bone
186
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:54,875
when he slipped
on your wet floor
187
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,209
and broke all my samples.
188
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,978
I'm really sorry, Stu.
189
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,848
Sorry doesn't re-swab
those urethras.
190
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:03,751
Do you think I like
swabbing urethras?
191
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,854
Guess it depends
on the urethra.
192
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,255
Nope, they're all bad.
193
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,823
But I swab them
all the same
194
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,792
because it's my job,
which is actually
195
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,126
really, really important,
196
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,696
unlike your job, which
could be done by a Roomba.
197
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,598
That's enough, Dr. Camillo.
198
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,866
I'm sorry, Dr. Kronish.
199
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,801
The custodial staff
doesn't work for you,
200
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,670
they work for me,
as do you.
201
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,837
And if you want
to keep working for me,
202
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,639
I suggest less tongue-lashing
203
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,207
and more urethra-swabbing.
204
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,842
Now, off you go,
swab, swab.
205
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,010
Right away, sir.
206
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,047
Whoa, thank you.
207
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,116
I'd fire that jackass,
but goddamn he knows
208
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,918
his way around
a herpes culture.
209
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:41,989
Sorry.
210
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,157
Oh, no, no, no, go on.
211
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,093
Go on, get a good look.
212
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,961
It's what we're fighting here.
213
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,029
The good fight.
214
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,163
Hey, you know what they say?
215
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,231
Keep your friends close,
216
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,668
but your enemies on your lip.
217
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,869
Nice one.
218
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,671
I was looking for
a closer for my toast
219
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:58,706
at the Christmas party.
220
00:08:58,739 --> 00:08:59,773
You mind if I use that?
221
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:03,043
-Oh, yeah, it's all you.
222
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,212
-Uh, Futterman.
-Futterman.
223
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,647
Come take a walk with me.
224
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,817
Now, they call it
herpes simplex,
225
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,351
but there's nothing
simple about it.
226
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,254
I have been studying this
virus for over 40 years
227
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,223
seeking a cure.
228
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,226
It's why I became
a scientist.
229
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,662
Dr. Benson.
230
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,631
When's the last time
this possum ejaculated?
231
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,799
-Three hours, sir.
-Perfect.
232
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,701
Now, what was
I talking about?
233
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:31,204
-Uh, herpes.
-Oh, yes, of course.
234
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,841
I'll never forget the
night I contracted it.
235
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:36,810
It was the night
of the moon landing.
236
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:40,280
There was a big party
at the Pi Pi Gamma house
237
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,649
at Caltech.
238
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,850
The night of the moon landing?
239
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,251
-Hmm.
-That is an historic moment
240
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,385
to contract herpes.
241
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,721
Oh, you should've been there.
242
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:48,989
Maybe you could've
warned me that beneath
243
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,157
that cherry red lipstick,
244
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,259
Barbarella had
an HSV-1 outbreak.
245
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,861
Couldn't see it.
246
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:57,097
-Look at this monstrosity.
-Oh, no, it's not that bad.
247
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,366
I mean, actually,
it's like some people
248
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:00,834
look good with a bald head,
249
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:03,036
and you look good
with a cold sore.
250
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,638
So actually the way
that light's hitting
251
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,040
it right now,
it's kind of beautiful.
252
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:10,210
One day, I'm gonna
find a cure for this
253
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,645
hideous blemish.
254
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,113
Just have to keep
trying new formulas.
255
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,982
Well, it's like
Einstein said,
256
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,417
"Insanity is doing the
same thing over and over
257
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,720
expecting a different result."
258
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:20,888
Thanks, Dr. Kronish.
259
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:24,224
Oh, now, call me Elias.
260
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:34,301
*
261
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,436
Janitor Futterman to
the executive restroom.
262
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,907
You are needed in
the executive restroom.
263
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:44,144
There is a...big problem.
264
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,381
Josh, what's wrong?
265
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,317
You barely touched
your salmon.
266
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,986
Can...can I have it?
267
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,387
Yeah.
268
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,162
Did you guys ever
think that I'd be doing
269
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,396
something more with my life?
270
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,333
What are you
talking about, Joshy?
271
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,235
You work for one
of the top sexual
272
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,070
disease centers
in the country!
273
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,271
Every day you walk into work,
274
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,806
you're curing disease.
275
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,408
I mean, I'm not
curing disease.
276
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,945
But you're cleaning up
after the people who are.
277
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:20,213
Yeah, and literally
anybody could do that job.
278
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:21,749
You don't like it,
you can always do
279
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,751
something else,
you can do anything
280
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,085
you set your mind to.
281
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,319
We've always told you that.
282
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,155
Yeah, you have,
but it's not true.
283
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,090
I mean, considering
that I have a shitty job,
284
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,491
and I still live at
home with my parents,
285
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,993
and I didn't set
my mind to that.
286
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,762
Okay, I'm gonna be
the bigger man here
287
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,064
and not tell you how much
that emotionally winded me.
288
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,066
I know, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean it like that.
289
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,200
And I instantly forgive you,
290
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,468
that's how family works.
291
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,936
And there's nothing
weird about living
292
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,004
in your childhood home.
293
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,138
This is my childhood home,
294
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,840
and I live here.
295
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,375
This is a Futterman house.
296
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,177
I was conceived right
upstairs in the same room
297
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,444
where I sleep
with your mother.
298
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,980
The same room you
were conceived in.
299
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,314
Gross, Dad, come on.
300
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,316
And one day, God willing,
you'll conceive your own
301
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,051
little Futterman
in that same room.
302
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,087
You should be encouraging
me to get out of the house!
303
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,254
But we don't want
you to leave.
304
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,956
What about your video game?
305
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,191
You're the best at it, right?
306
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,093
Doesn't that make
you feel special?
307
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,260
It's a video game.
308
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,829
It's not real,
it's just an escape.
309
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,264
I'm not helping anybody
by playing video games.
310
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,504
All right, I'm gonna
go play video games.
311
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,506
Break their bodies!
312
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,375
That's a clean break,
double points.
313
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,378
Make it rain blood!
314
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,880
Yes!
315
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,849
Yes, yes!
316
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:34,021
Here we are, again.
317
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,489
Level 83.
318
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:39,559
Every time I go in
there guns blazing,
319
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,028
and every time I die.
320
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,395
I can't keep doing
the same thing
321
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,133
again and again expecting
different results.
322
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,968
I gotta try
something different.
323
00:12:48,001 --> 00:13:01,114
*
324
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,415
Kill 'em all!
325
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:06,920
*
326
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,421
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go!
327
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,858
Run, you little shit, run!
328
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:13,193
Self destruct
sequence activated.
329
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,261
Oh, shit.
330
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,562
-Five.
-Oh, my God.
331
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,130
-Four.
-Go, go, go!
332
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,598
-Three.
-Oh, my God, go!
333
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,900
-Two.
-Go, go, go.
334
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,201
Run, you little fucker, run!
335
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,402
One.
336
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:28,275
*
337
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,476
Congratulations.
338
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,444
You have defeated
all of the biotics
339
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,046
and saved humanity.
340
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,882
You are the savior.
341
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,451
Woo-hoo!
342
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,353
Hey, guys!
343
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,455
Guess what I did?
344
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,993
Hello?
345
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:57,137
-Out to get snacks.
-And explore!
346
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:07,514
All right, Siegfried,
you and me, pal.
347
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:17,590
*
348
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:27,600
*
349
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,281
Hey, Tiger.
350
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:44,284
What are you doing
sniffing around these parts?
351
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:47,054
Maybe it's because
I'm in heat.
352
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:50,423
Heh, well then you're
in the right place
353
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,125
'cause I'm in heat also.
354
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:56,997
Well, technically,
male cats don't--
355
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,365
Fuck, it doesn't matter.
356
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,133
Doesn't fucking matter.
357
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:12,412
*
358
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,313
Future Man.
359
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,582
*
360
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,384
The fuck?
361
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,686
Oh, I'm hit!
362
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,092
What are you doing here--
who are you people?
363
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,227
I'm Tiger, this is Wolf.
364
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,497
We've come back
from the year 2162.
365
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,265
You're gonna help us
save the world.
366
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,170
No, no, get out of here!
367
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,405
What, do you expect me
to believe you guys
368
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,706
are characters
from my video game?
369
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,708
It's more than just a game!
370
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,576
God dammit, it's all over me!
371
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,744
Relax.
372
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,179
Wolf, it's just a little cum.
373
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:48,615
-It's a lot of cum!
-Wolf!
374
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:49,749
Listen carefully.
375
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,385
Everything that happens
in the Biotic Wars is real.
376
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:55,722
The biotics,
the wars, everything.
377
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,390
The game is a recruitment
and training tool
378
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,592
sent back in time
to find the one person
379
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,628
with the skills
to save us.
380
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,130
A savior.
381
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,000
That's you.
382
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:10,170
The first and only person
to have beaten the game.
383
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:20,413
*
384
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,315
This is The Last Starfighter.
385
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,451
This is the exact same
plot as the movie.
386
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,652
What's a movie?
387
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,287
Okay, who put
you up to this?
388
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,421
The guys in the
video game store?
389
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:29,622
Such dicks.
390
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,024
Is this part of your
arsenal of weaponry?
391
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,225
No, no, please don't.
392
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,793
That's a signed
authen--Oh, my God!
393
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,628
I paid my only
bitcoin for that!
394
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,097
Okay, listen, listen!
395
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,166
I know this is a lot
for you to digest,
396
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,433
but the clock is ticking
397
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,801
and we have to do this.
398
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,603
Do what?
399
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,073
-We're going to '69.
400
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:48,075
I said we're going to '69.
401
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,278
Uh, you and me are
gonna 69 right now?
402
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,146
-Okay.
403
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,282
Only, what's his
deal in all this?
404
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,749
Is he gonna watch or...
405
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,751
No, I'm going to
'69 with you too,
406
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,487
make sure you
don't fuck it up.
407
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,189
No, he's right, we can't
do this without him.
408
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,390
What the fuck are
you talking about?
409
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,292
Going back in time to 1969
410
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,260
to save the world.
411
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:08,728
Oh.
412
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,263
The year.
413
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:14,734
What's that supposed to be?
414
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,669
It's a TTD,
time travel device.
415
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,538
That's a stupid name,
looks like a fucking iPad.
416
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,573
Don't fucking touch it!
417
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:23,243
Know how many soldiers
we lost stealing this?
418
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,411
Good men!
419
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,778
Better fucking
men than you.
420
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:26,846
Wolf!
421
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,249
-Stop it, we need him.
422
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,119
Are we really gonna waste
a leap on this fucking guy?
423
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,720
We don't know
how many we have.
424
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,689
Okay, so it's Last Starfighter
meets Quantum Leap now?
425
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,225
Look, I'll give it
to you guys, all right?
426
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,459
You're terrific actors,
427
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,561
and your costumes
are impeccable,
428
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,196
but I'm not buying it, okay?
429
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,398
You just obviously researched
my love of video games
430
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,467
and science fiction,
and are using it against me
431
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,669
to trick me in a really,
really mean way.
432
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,338
You're breaking and
entering right now.
433
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:55,708
What's happening?
434
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,278
I have risked way
too much to get here.
435
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,846
We are not leaving without you.
436
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,548
What's going on?
437
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,652
Oh, my God!
438
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,887
Oh, shit.
439
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,622
Oh, shit!
440
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:16,696
*
441
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,331
Where's all my shit?
442
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:19,432
Your shit's not here.
443
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,134
We're not in
your room anymore.
444
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:25,505
*
445
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:35,482
*
446
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,684
Houston, uh...
447
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,553
-Oh, jeez.
-Tranquility Base here.
448
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:41,888
The Eagle has landed.
449
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:44,557
Roger, Tranquility, we copy--
450
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,226
Whoa, hey.
451
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,661
Daddy?
452
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,467
Who are you?
453
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:58,438
*
454
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,607
I'm your--
455
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,875
Do your goddamn
drugs somewhere else,
456
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,844
fucking hippie.
457
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,880
* You know the day
destroys the night *
458
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,449
* Night divides the day
459
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,618
Here we go, time
to see his moves.
460
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,322
Help, help!
461
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,956
Sorry, sorry!
462
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,292
-Get out of my house!
-It's my house too.
463
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,828
Future Man.
464
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,664
Do a threat assessment
and fight back.
465
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,299
No, no, no, no.
466
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,667
Grandma, it's me, Joshy.
467
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:28,735
I'm your grandson.
468
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:32,305
*
469
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,442
Uncle Barry?
470
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,514
*
471
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,849
All right, we tried
it your away,
472
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,217
clearly it's not working.
473
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:45,885
We don't know that yet.
474
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,321
You're hurting me!
475
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,556
You want to jump in now?
476
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:50,823
Or would you rather
watch your savior
477
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,592
get beaten to death
by his own family?
478
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,262
*
479
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,797
* She gets
480
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,400
* She gets
481
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,835
* She gets
482
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,638
* She gets high
483
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:08,675
*
484
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:13,513
* I found an island
in your arms *
485
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,581
* Country in your eyes
486
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,015
Oh, no.
487
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,785
* Arms that chained us,
eyes that lied *
488
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:21,521
* Break on through
to the other side *
489
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,790
* Break on through
to the other side *
490
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,426
* Oh, yeah
491
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:31,964
*
492
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,567
* Made the scene,
week to week *
493
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,470
* Day to day,
hour to hour *
494
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:38,738
* The gate is straight,
495
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,006
deep and wide *
496
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:42,609
* Break on through
to the other side *
497
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,612
* Break on through
to the other side *
498
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:48,481
* Break on through,
break on through *
499
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:51,284
* Break on through,
break on through *
500
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:52,385
* Break, break
501
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:55,655
I traveled...in time.
502
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,059
This is real.
503
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,561
This is real--
you're Tiger
504
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,397
and you're Wolf,
and you're time travelers.
505
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,799
Oh my God, oh my God,
tell me everything.
506
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,067
Can I see a dinosaur?
507
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,402
Can I please
see a dinosaur?
508
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,570
What the fuck
happened in there?
509
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,038
Why can't you fight?
510
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,406
Why can't I fight?
511
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,541
I've never been
in one before.
512
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,042
-You're a warrior.
-No, I'm not.
513
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,010
-But you're Future Man.
-In the video game.
514
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,679
Aren't people who play
video games supposed
515
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:21,781
to embody the skills
of their online personas?
516
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:23,450
No, no, it's the
complete opposite.
517
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,884
Why would anybody
play video games
518
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:25,918
if you could just
do a bunch of really
519
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,521
cool shit in real life?
520
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:29,989
I don't--I don't understand.
521
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:31,924
In our time, video games
are training simulators
522
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:35,061
that hone the skills
of elite soldiers.
523
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:37,397
Oh, no, yeah,
not in our time.
524
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:40,099
No, it's like purely
escapism, recreation.
525
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:44,404
Do you have any
useful skills?
526
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,906
Uh, I'm good at word jumbles,
527
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,975
um, Sudoku.
528
00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:50,142
Cumming on my leg.
529
00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:52,712
Okay, Wolf, I wasn't trying
to cum on your leg, okay?
530
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,046
If this is gonna become
one of those things
531
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,815
where like you can't
forgive me and move on
532
00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:58,050
until we're even,
then just go ahead
533
00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,986
and cum on my leg.
534
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:03,055
Hey, guys,
check it out!
535
00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,924
Shit, we need to
change our clothes.
536
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:06,359
Why?
537
00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:07,927
It's time travel 101,
you need to blend in.
538
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,562
Don't look like
you're from the future.
539
00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:11,631
Look at this,
look at this shit--
540
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,433
Don't touch my globulator.
541
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,134
Hey, what the fuck
are you guys wearing?
542
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,836
See, what did I tell you?
543
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:19,572
You, give me your clothes.
544
00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:21,608
*
545
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:25,478
They are bikers,
and bikers are assholes.
546
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:28,615
Well, how about instead of
us taking off our clothes,
547
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:30,383
we take off yours.
548
00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:34,621
And then you could
give us a little dance.
549
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,957
Let's fuck this place up!
550
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,792
Murder everyone!
551
00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:43,796
* Stepped in my dreams
552
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:45,798
and broke my own heart *
553
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:47,734
Let's go.
554
00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:50,703
Crush his nuts.
555
00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:53,139
Break his skull!
556
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:54,741
Fuck.
557
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,114
Yeah.
558
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:07,554
*
559
00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:08,855
Head chop.
560
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,523
Oh, shit, is he okay?
561
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:17,630
*
562
00:23:17,664 --> 00:23:19,966
Head chop.
563
00:23:19,999 --> 00:23:22,001
Leg chop!
564
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:26,673
And neutralized.
565
00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:28,575
Time to grab
a skull trophy.
566
00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:31,043
No, no, no, stop it.
567
00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:32,144
What are you doing?
568
00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:34,080
Stopping you
from killing him.
569
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:35,448
Why?
570
00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:36,449
Do I really have to say this?
571
00:23:36,483 --> 00:23:37,584
Killing is wrong.
572
00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:39,218
Oh, I can't work
with this guy.
573
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:40,587
Can we just
take their clothes
574
00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:41,754
and leave, please?
575
00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:44,557
You never had a problem with
killing in our simulator.
576
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:47,093
Oh, my God, that guy's
bone is sticking out.
577
00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:50,463
*
578
00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:55,635
*
579
00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:56,936
I think it goes
without saying,
580
00:23:56,969 --> 00:23:59,171
but I don't know how
to ride one of these.
581
00:23:59,205 --> 00:24:00,707
Just get on.
582
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,609
-On your--
-Mine.
583
00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:03,976
Yup!
584
00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:12,519
*
585
00:24:19,992 --> 00:24:22,228
Never seen so much
food in my life.
586
00:24:22,261 --> 00:24:24,564
It's literally
hanging from the walls.
587
00:24:24,597 --> 00:24:26,899
I take it you don't
have delis in the future?
588
00:24:26,933 --> 00:24:28,901
We live in a sewer.
589
00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:30,770
We eat garbage and rats.
590
00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:31,738
Ew.
591
00:24:31,771 --> 00:24:33,239
Yeah, no fucking shit.
592
00:24:33,272 --> 00:24:36,042
Eat a rat asshole,
then say fucking "ew."
593
00:24:37,744 --> 00:24:40,212
Thank you.
594
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:51,624
Holy shit.
595
00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:55,728
Holy shit.
596
00:24:55,762 --> 00:24:57,163
Oh, these little green logs
597
00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:58,297
are fucking amazing.
598
00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,599
They're called pickles.
599
00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:01,200
-Calm down.
-More logs!
600
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:03,035
Okay, okay, look, I know
you're from the sewers
601
00:25:03,069 --> 00:25:04,604
and everything,
but you need to do
602
00:25:04,637 --> 00:25:06,272
a better job about
acting normal here, okay?
603
00:25:06,305 --> 00:25:07,574
What the fuck
does it matter?
604
00:25:07,607 --> 00:25:08,841
They're all fucking dead anyway.
605
00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:11,878
You're all fucking
dead, you're all dead!
606
00:25:11,911 --> 00:25:14,647
Just shoving food into
your dead fucking mouths!
607
00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:15,915
-No, no, no.
-So hope you had
608
00:25:15,948 --> 00:25:17,183
a great last meal.
609
00:25:17,216 --> 00:25:18,818
-No, no, no, she's--
-Grandma, you're dead.
610
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:20,920
You little girl, dead!
611
00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:22,789
-You're fucking dead.
-You're okay, you're okay.
612
00:25:22,822 --> 00:25:24,023
Your kids are dead!
613
00:25:24,056 --> 00:25:25,625
Your kids are fine,
everybody's fine.
614
00:25:25,658 --> 00:25:27,259
-Your babies are dead.
-She's having a bad trip.
615
00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:29,295
It's the, you know, '60s.
616
00:25:29,328 --> 00:25:31,964
Okay, even if that is true,
you can't yell it at people
617
00:25:31,998 --> 00:25:33,299
when they're eating
their matzo ball soup.
618
00:25:33,332 --> 00:25:34,734
I know that you're upset.
619
00:25:34,767 --> 00:25:36,168
You don't know what I am
620
00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,637
or what I've been through
621
00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:39,138
or the people that
sacrificed their lives
622
00:25:39,171 --> 00:25:41,073
to get me here
because I thought you
623
00:25:41,107 --> 00:25:42,575
were the savior.
624
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,346
I lost everyone to get here.
625
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,681
And what?
626
00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:50,082
So you could
fucking enlighten me
627
00:25:50,116 --> 00:25:52,251
about pickles?
628
00:25:52,284 --> 00:25:53,853
Hey!
629
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:56,889
Come on, now,
those are fucking good.
630
00:25:56,923 --> 00:25:58,290
You've nothing to offer.
631
00:25:58,324 --> 00:25:59,959
You are nothing like
the man I thought
632
00:25:59,992 --> 00:26:01,894
I was coming back for.
633
00:26:01,928 --> 00:26:03,663
Nothing.
634
00:26:03,696 --> 00:26:05,665
Well, fire up the TTD,
we're sending him back.
635
00:26:05,698 --> 00:26:08,367
No, no, no, no, please,
don't send me back!
636
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,637
I just got here, I've
wanted this my entire life.
637
00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,071
Look, I can probably
still help out
638
00:26:12,104 --> 00:26:13,339
with the mission.
639
00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:14,741
No, you can't because
we don't even know
640
00:26:14,774 --> 00:26:16,008
where the fuck to start.
641
00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:17,677
But if you're
from the future,
642
00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:19,045
shouldn't you just
know everything?
643
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:20,346
No.
644
00:26:20,379 --> 00:26:23,249
The biotics control everything.
645
00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:27,920
All we know is that
tonight on July 20th, 1969,
646
00:26:27,954 --> 00:26:29,889
something happens that
leads to the annihilation
647
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:32,992
of the entire human
race and we were hoping
648
00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:35,027
that you'd be the key
to stopping Elias Kronish,
649
00:26:35,061 --> 00:26:36,663
but that is just...
650
00:26:36,696 --> 00:26:38,130
that's not gonna happen.
651
00:26:38,164 --> 00:26:39,999
Look, it's over.
652
00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:43,369
Do you mean Dr. Elias Kronish?
653
00:26:43,402 --> 00:26:45,404
How do you know that
motherfucker's name?
654
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:46,906
I work with him.
655
00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:48,174
He's actually not
a motherfucker.
656
00:26:48,207 --> 00:26:49,676
He's like this
really sweet old man,
657
00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:51,410
and we're kind of,
like, becoming friends.
658
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,412
That sweet old man's research
659
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:56,182
leads to a super cure
for all diseases.
660
00:26:56,215 --> 00:26:57,750
The people injected
with the cure,
661
00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,986
those are the Biotics.
662
00:27:00,019 --> 00:27:02,655
No, he's working on
a cure for herpes.
663
00:27:02,689 --> 00:27:03,990
You're telling me
that a cure for herpes
664
00:27:04,023 --> 00:27:05,925
is what brings down
all of mankind?
665
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:12,899
*
666
00:27:12,932 --> 00:27:15,968
Holy shit.
667
00:27:16,002 --> 00:27:17,970
The moon landing
party at Caltech.
668
00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:21,073
*
669
00:27:21,107 --> 00:27:23,309
That's where Dr. Kronish
first gets herpes,
670
00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:24,877
that's the whole reason
he became a scientist,
671
00:27:24,911 --> 00:27:26,345
and that happens tonight.
672
00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,147
Go, go, go on.
673
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:29,749
Okay.
674
00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:31,183
Okay, I got it, I got it.
675
00:27:31,217 --> 00:27:32,919
If we can get to Caltech
676
00:27:32,952 --> 00:27:34,921
and stop Dr. Kronish
from ever getting herpes,
677
00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:36,222
he'll never
become a scientist,
678
00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:37,690
and we can stop this
whole cycle before
679
00:27:37,724 --> 00:27:39,892
it even begins.
680
00:27:39,926 --> 00:27:43,395
Maybe you are the
savior after all.
681
00:27:43,429 --> 00:27:44,731
Oh, come on.
682
00:27:44,764 --> 00:27:46,065
I call fucking
bullshit on that.
683
00:27:46,098 --> 00:27:47,399
No, how can it be
a coincidence
684
00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:50,336
that the only person
who beats Biotic Wars
685
00:27:50,369 --> 00:27:52,071
just happens to be
friends with the man
686
00:27:52,104 --> 00:27:53,239
who destroys the human race?
687
00:27:53,272 --> 00:27:55,274
I don't think
that's a coincidence.
688
00:27:55,307 --> 00:27:56,342
You heard her, Wolf.
689
00:27:56,375 --> 00:27:57,443
Can't be a coincidence.
690
00:27:57,476 --> 00:27:58,410
It's destiny.
691
00:27:58,444 --> 00:27:59,912
Just like Super Mario Bros.
692
00:27:59,946 --> 00:28:01,147
All right, are you ready?
693
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:02,314
Let's do this shit.
694
00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:03,783
'Cause this isn't
a game anymore.
695
00:28:03,816 --> 00:28:05,084
-Nope.
-Things are about to get real.
696
00:28:05,117 --> 00:28:06,853
-Yep.
-This is life or death.
697
00:28:06,886 --> 00:28:09,255
It's either kill
or be killed.
698
00:28:09,288 --> 00:28:10,757
I'm gonna have to kill?
699
00:28:10,790 --> 00:28:12,158
Or be killed.
700
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:16,763
*
701
00:28:16,796 --> 00:28:17,797
Oh, no.
702
00:28:17,830 --> 00:28:20,066
Is that an X28 Psychoblaster?
703
00:28:20,099 --> 00:28:21,901
Holy shit.
704
00:28:23,970 --> 00:28:25,071
Oh, fuck!
705
00:28:25,104 --> 00:28:27,273
What the fuck are you doing?
706
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:32,178
Everybody get down!
707
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:33,412
Heads on tables.
708
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:35,181
We are from your time!
709
00:28:36,348 --> 00:28:38,384
Oh, my God, shit
got real in there.
710
00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:40,219
*
711
00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:41,220
Uh, guys, cops.
712
00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:43,322
Cops, cops, cops.
713
00:28:43,355 --> 00:28:44,523
Our first call.
we've wanted this
714
00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:45,992
since we were kids.
715
00:28:46,025 --> 00:28:47,359
All right, Santiago,
you ready for this?
716
00:28:47,393 --> 00:28:48,928
Let's do this, Skaarsgard.
717
00:28:48,961 --> 00:28:50,162
They're gonna arrest us.
718
00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:53,766
Wh
719
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,968
What are you doing?
720
00:28:56,002 --> 00:28:57,837
Is that a subatomic
sensor mine?
721
00:29:04,977 --> 00:29:06,478
What the hell?
722
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,551
Welcome to the Resistance.
723
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:25,965
*
724
00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:28,100
* Running through your dreams,
725
00:29:28,134 --> 00:29:31,237
you must go on your way *
726
00:29:32,004 --> 00:29:35,374
* You get tired,
but you get started
727
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:38,110
every day *
728
00:29:38,144 --> 00:29:40,546
* Pick up and go
729
00:29:40,579 --> 00:29:43,315
* Or you can fall
on your face *
730
00:29:43,349 --> 00:29:45,517
*
731
00:29:45,551 --> 00:29:48,187
* Go as long
732
00:29:48,220 --> 00:29:52,391
as to go you can *
733
00:29:52,424 --> 00:29:55,294
* Live as long
734
00:29:55,327 --> 00:29:58,197
as to live you can *
46050
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