Original subtitles

(static)

(man) I'VE PLAYED LOU REED, JIMMY REED, EVEN JERRY REED...

R.E.M., PiL, XTC...

AND NOW...

THEY'RE PAVING PARADISE.

THREE HOURS AGO, THIS STATION OFFICIALLY BECAME THE PROPERTY

OF AN ENORMOUS, FACELESS CONGLOMERATE...

(pounds on door) AND NOW MY STATION MANAGER IS TRYING TO BEAT DOWN THE DOOR

AS I HAVE DECIDED TO IGNORE

THE FOCUS-GROUPED, MARKET-TESTED PLAYLIST

PROVIDED BY OUR NEW CORPORATE MASTERS.

AH.

I'M JACK KOZAKOWSKI,

AND I PLAY WHAT I WANT...

AT LEAST FOR A FEW MORE HOURS.

(mouths word)

THERE IS SOMEONE I NEED TO HEAR FROM--

MY FAVORITE CALLER...

BECAUSE AS SOON AS WE START TO PLAY...

(smarmy voice) ALL THE HITS...

(normal voice) SHE IS NEVER GOING TO LISTEN

TO THIS STATION AGAIN.

SO IF YOU'RE LISTENING,

SWEET JANE, CALL ME.

YES, I CALLED IN A TO GO ORDER.

AS YOU PREDICTED, I'M NOW JONESING FOR FELIX'S MOLE SAUCE

ON A DAILY BASIS.

YOU MADE MY PASSION

FOR THESE LITTLE SLABS OF WAX AND ACETATE EVEN GREATER.

PLEASE LET ME, ONE LAST TIME,

JUST PLAY WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES.

WHAT ARE WE LISTENING TO? TUT-TUT-TUT.

THE SOONER THE BETTER, JANE.

ALL I GOT HERE IS A GRANOLA BAR.

THE BASTARDS ARE GONNA STARVE ME OUT.

♪♪

OKAY, I PUT AN EXTRA CONTAINER OF MOLE SAUCE IN HERE.

YOU WILL BE TEMPTED TO DRINK IT. I RECOMMEND YOU DON'T.

(chuckles) TREVOR, THAT'S MY MOLE. GET HER ANYTHING SHE WANTS, ON ME.

I GOT A MATCH TO MAKE.

HUH.

I GUESS I'LL JUST COVER HIS SHIFT...

AND FEED HIS PSYCHIATRIST.

CLOSING TIME.

LAST CALL FOR DRINKS.

I APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT.

I DO. I HAVE RECEIVED DOZENS OF CALLS,

JUST NOT THE ONE I WANTED.

OH, AND LOOK AT THAT.

A CALL ON THE BATPHONE.

YOU'RE ON WITH JACK.

(woman) Hi, Jack.

SWEET JANE. (laughs)

I KNEW YOU'D TURN UP.

HAVE YOU CALLED WITH A REQUEST?

"Build Havana" by Future Clouds and Radar.

MY FAVORITE SONG BY ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTISTS.

Robert Harrison, the Elvis of artsy power pop.

I SUPPOSE I SHOULD JUST LAY IT ON THE LINE.

WE BOTH KNOW THAT

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA LISTEN TO THIS SHOW AGAIN AFTER TODAY.

UH... THIS IS OUR LAST CALL.

LET'S MEET, FACE-TO-FACE.

WE'VE GOT SOMETHING HERE, JANE, SOMETHING RARE.

I'm sorry, Jack. I can't.

(line disconnects)

(dial tone)

("Build Havana" playing)

♪ SHE GETS SO BROKEN UP, SHE CAN'T MEND ♪

♪ AND I GET SO BLOWN AWAY, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND ♪

YOU CROSSED A LINE TODAY, JACK. (scoffs)

CORPORATE IS GONNA HAVE YOUR HEAD.

WE BOTH KNOW THAT'S NOT HAPPENING, SUSSMAN.

I'M THE GINGER ROGERS TO CORPORATE'S FRED ASTAIRE.

THEY GIVE ME A PAYCHECK, AND I GIVE 'EM CLASS. (record needle scratches)

(woman) ♪ I WANNA BE WITH YOU TONIGHT ♪

TOMORROW THEN.

OH.

OH, IT'S YOU. FOOD GUY. (chuckles)

FOOD GUY/LOVE DETECTIVE.

I'M GONNA HELP YOU FIND SWEET JANE.

(mouth full) THIS IS HOW I THOUGHT MY DAY WOULD GO--

GET SHOT DOWN BY MY DREAM GIRL ON THE RADIO

AND THEN BRING SOME STRANGE DUDE BACK TO MY APARTMENT

TO BINGE ON MEXICAN FOOD...

THAT'S APPARENTLY LACED WITH CRACK. SHE WASN'T SHOOTING YOU DOWN.

SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU. YOU'RE HIGH. I'VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH SWEET JANE

ON THE REQUEST LINE FOR FIVE YEARS.

I KNOW WHAT FLIRTING SOUNDS LIKE.

TODAY-- THAT WAS SHOOTING DOWN.

WHAT IF SHE'D HAD SAID, "YEAH, LET'S MEET"?

WHAT WAS THE PLAN THEN? THAT'S THE POINT. I WOULDN'T NEED A PLAN.

WE'RE THE SAME PERSON. WE HAVE THE SAME TASTE.

ALL THE THINGS THAT I LOVE TO DO--GOING OUT, SEEING BANDS,

TRAVELING, YOU KNOW, LOUNGING AROUND ON WEEKENDS,

LISTENING TO RECORDS, TALKING ABOUT MUSIC--

SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN MY PARTNER IN CRIME.

THIS IS THE ONLY TANGIBLE THING I HAVE FROM HER.

SHE SENT IT TO THE STATION A WHILE BACK. A 45?

NO, NOT JUST ANY 45.

OTIS REDDING--

"YOU LEFT THE WATER RUNNING"...

RELEASED POSTHUMOUSLY.

THERE WAS NO RETURN ADDRESS ON THE ENVELOPE. I CHECKED.

WELL, WE NOW KNOW HOW TO FIND HER.

HOW'S THAT?

WELL, BECAUSE, DEAR WATSON,

WE NOW KNOW THAT SHE'S THE TYPE OF GIRL

THAT FORGETS TO TAKE THE PRICE TAG OFF GIFTS.

VINYL COUNTDOWN--

THAT'S IN QUEENS.

I HAVE THE AFTERNOON FREE. YOU?

(soul music playing)

"YOU LEFT THE WATER RUNNING"--

'76, A TINY MEMPHIS LABEL RELEASED IT,

BUT NOBODY BOTHERED TO CLEAR IT WITH OTIS REDDING'S ESTATE.

THE LAWYERS PULLED IT AND BOOM! INSTANT COLLECTOR'S ITEM.

THIS PLACE IS A TREASURE TROVE.

WHY DON'T YOU GET MORE TRAFFIC?

BECAUSE WE DON'T CARRY ANYTHING RELEASED AFTER AUGUST 1st, 1981.

WHY AUGUST 198--

BLACK SATURDAY. IT'S THE DAY MTV PREMIERED.

AS YOU CAN SEE, RIGHTEOUS LINES IN THE SAND

DON'T MAKE FOR OUTSTANDING BUSINESS MODELS.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA

WHAT WOMAN BOUGHT THIS FROM YOU TWO YEARS AGO? HOLD ON.

LET ME CHECK MY EXTENSIVE COMPUTER DATABASE OF PURCHASES.

NO IDEA.

SHE PREFERS ATLANTIC RECORDS SOUL TO MOTOWN.

HER FAVORITE CLASH ALBUM IS "SANDINISTA."

"SANDINISTA." AH, OKAY, RINGING A BELL.

THERE'S A WOMAN WHO USED TO COME HERE.

NAME? SOUNDS LIKE?

STARTS WITH?

YEAH. UM... I GOT NOTHING.

WAIT. SHE'D STOP IN AFTER WORK SOMETIMES.

WORE A SMOCK THING FROM, UH...

FROM...

(mouths word)

(The Service Industry's "Bookstores and Restaurants"

playing)

GROCERY TOWN. SHE'S HERE. I KNOW IT.

HOW? THEY'RE PLAYING THE SERVICE INDUSTRY.

MUCH HYPED INDIE POWER POP BAND OUT OF AUSTIN?

YOU KNOW, INSTEAD OF MUZAK?

(woman) PRICE CHECK FOR MAMA PAVIA SPAGHETTI SAUCE.

♪ BOOKSTORES AND RESTAURANTS ♪

♪ BOOKSTORES AND RESTAURANTS ♪

(beep)

SWEET JANE?

♪♪

YOUR NAMETAG MIGHT SAY "SARAH,"

BUT I'D KNOW YOUR VOICE ANYWHERE.

OH, GOD.

WHY'D YOU HAVE TO FIND ME? THIS RUINS EVERYTHING.

♪ BOOKSTORES AND RESTAURANTS ♪

♪♪

I...

SUPPOSE I, UH,

WAS HOPING FOR A SLIGHTLY MORE, UM,

I DON'T KNOW, UM,

ENTHUSIASTIC, MAYBE, RESPONSE.

I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE SOMETHING LIKE WE HAVE ON THE RADIO.

WHAT WE HAD ON THE RADIO WAS GREAT,

BUT I ALREADY HAVE TOO MANY MEN IN MY LIFE.

(woman over P.A.) MANAGER TO REGISTER SIX.

LOOK, I GOTTA GO. I'M SORRY, JACK.

I JUST--I HAD YOU FILED

IN A VERY SPECIFIC PLACE IN MY LIFE.

IT WORKED FOR ME.

WELL, I'LL JUST LEAVE THEN.

YEAH, WITH MY DIGNITY SHATTERED.

IT'S... IT'S COOL.

IT'S...

WELL, I GUESS IT'S TRUE.

I DO HAVE A FACE MADE FOR RADIO.

BUT I GUESS IF IT DIDN'T HURT,

PEOPLE WOULDN'T WRITE SONGS ABOUT IT

OR TAKE THE QUICK ROUTE TO THE TOP OF THE LIBRARY TOWER. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. YOU'RE RUNNING UP THE WHITE FLAG

WHEN OUR TROOPS CAN STILL TAKE THE HILL.

ONCE MORE TO THE BREACH. YOU HEARD WHAT SHE SAID. TOO MANY MEN IN HER LIFE?

YEAH, SEE, I SEE THAT AS AN OPENING.

SHE'S NOT CURRENTLY EXCLUSIVE WITH ANYONE.

AT LEAST WE KNOW OUR TASK AT HAND.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT I'M LISTENING.

A FEW OF YOU HAVE EXPRESSED YOUR DESIRE

FOR OUR MEETING TO FOCUS MORE ON MEETING SINGLES

RATHER THAN JUST TALKING ABOUT BEING SINGLE.

YES! TOWARD THAT END, I'D LIKE TO SET UP SIMPLE COFFEE DATES

FOR ANY OF YOU WHO ARE WILLING TO BRAVE BEING SET UP.

YES! I'LL BE E-MAILING EACH OF YOU

AN ONLINE QUESTIONNAIRE THAT I'M DEVELOPING

FOR DATEWELL, A NEW INTERNET MATCHMAKING SERVICE.

NO. CLAIRE, COMPUTERS ARE FOR MULTIPLAYER ROLE-PLAYING GAMES

AND POSTING FUNNY VIDEOS OF YOUR CAT.

THEY CAN'T FIND SOMEONE A SOUL MATE.

THEY CAN IDENTIFY INTERESTS PEOPLE SHARE

SO THEY DON'T WASTE THEIR TIME WITH INCOMPATIBLE PARTNERS.

I NEED A FEW GOOD MEN AND WOMEN--100 OF EACH--

TO BE GUINEA PIGS.

SO WE HAVE TO HAVE COFFEE WITH A HUNDRED MEN?

NO.

JUST WITH THE PERSON YOU'RE MATCHED WITH.

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO. IT'S COMPLETELY VOLUNTARY.

ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

DID SAMSON AND DELILAH NEED A COMPUTER?

DID BRAD AND JEN? DID YOUR PARENTS?

ARE YOU SURE THESE ARE THE EXAMPLES YOU WANT TO USE?

WE'RE WILLING TO PUT SO MUCH

INTO THE HANDS OF THESE MACHINES.

WHERE DOES IT END?

WHEN DO WE SAY "NO MORE"?

WHEN DO WE, LIKE, JOHN HENRY, TAKE HAMMER IN HAND

AND BEAT THAT STEAM ENGINE DOWN?

RIGHT NOW WE CAN SAY, "NO, THANKS, COMPUTERS.

I GOT IT COVERED HERE." OTHERWISE, SOON ENOUGH,

WE'RE ALL THOSE LITTLE FAT PEOPLE AT THE END OF "WALL-E."

SO WHO'S WITH ME?

WHO WILL JOIN ME IN SAYING, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"?

(Claire) LET'S ASK.

HOW MANY OF YOU ARE GAME TO TRY DATEWELL?

PROPER MATCHMAKING REQUIRES A BOUTIQUE ATTENTION TO DETAIL.

OKAY? LIKE JACK ON THE RADIO THIS MORNING?

I'M MATCHING HIM WITH A GIRL HE'D NEVER SEEN.

CAN YOU DIG IT? LOVE AT FIRST SOUND.

COMPUTERS CAN'T DO THAT. THE QUESTIONNAIRE I'M DEVELOPING WOULD HAVE DISCOVERED

THE SAME CONNECTION BUT WITH MUCH LESS DRAMA.

I GOT LOCKED UP FOR SUGGESTING THAT I HAVE A DIVINE GIFT

FOR DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO. YOU GOT LOCKED UP FOR THE "DIVINITY" PART,

NOT THE "GIFT" PART, AND I DON'T CLAIM OMNISCIENCE.

I'M MEETING WITH A STATISTICIAN

WHO'S HELPING ME CRUNCH THE NUMBERS. STATISTICIAN? THIS IS WHAT WE'VE COME TO?

YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU AND SOME NERD

CAN DO GOD'S WORK?

AHEM. HI.

I'M THE, UH, NERD. (laughs)

PETER KARNOW. IT'S GREAT TO FINALLY MEET YOU, DR. McCRAE.

I READ YOUR BOOK.

YOUR WORK ON PERSONALITY SIGN POSTING IS DEAD-ON.

WELL, THANK YOU. THAT'S--THAT'S VERY KIND.

AND PLEASE, CALL ME CLAIRE. (Trevor) AHEM.

THIS IS TREVOR. HE'S A STEEL-DRIVING MAN

WHO HAS AN IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT WHICH WILL SADLY CUT SHORT

HIS ABILITY TO STAY AND CHAT.

REALLY? I HAVE TO GO? 'CAUSE I WANTED TO BE HERE

WHEN YOU PULLED OUT YOUR CALCULATOR AND QUANTIFIED LOVE.

GOOD NIGHT, TREVOR.

I'M SIGNING UP, BY THE WAY. I HOPE MY DATE LIKES PI.

AND BY PI, I MEAN THE RELATION

OF MY CIRCUMFERENCE TO MY DIAMETER.

WOW.

YEAH. (laughs)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MEETING ME HERE TONIGHT.

THIS WILL BE VERY HELPFUL. YEAH, IT WILL BE. I MET WITH KELSEY STANZLER EARLIER,

AND WE COVERED A LOT OF GROUND. KELSEY STANZLER, THE ADVICE COLUMNIST

FROM "THE VILLAGE VOICE"?

I DIDN'T REALIZE DATEWELL WAS USING MORE THAN ONE EXPERT.

YOU'RE COVERING COMMON INTEREST AND VALUES,

AND SHE'S ALL ABOUT ATTRACTION AND DESIRE,

WHICH CAN BE IMPORTANT AS WELL, DON'T YOU THINK?

SOMETIMES THOSE THINGS CAN'T BE OVERLOOKED.

THE KEITH TO JACK'S MICK.

WE WERE NEVER FORMALLY INTRODUCED.

THE NAME'S TREVOR, AND THAT CHOCOLATE BAR'S DEFECTIVE.

YOU MEAN IT'S STALE? NO, I WAS HOPING FOR A GOLDEN TICKET.

INSTEAD THERE'S SOMETHING WRITTEN INSIDE THE WRAPPER. I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

COME ON. JUST GO WITH IT.

YOU EVER DO A SCAVENGER HUNT?

YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU FOLLOW THE CLUES? I'M FAMILIAR WITH THE CONCEPT.

THIS ONE'S HERE, IN THIS MARKET.

IT'LL LEAD YOU TO JACK.

"WHAT'S THE BEST PRINCE SONG OF THE EIGHTIES?"

"RASPBERRY BERET."

SORBET, BERET.

"THE GREATEST 2:00 A.M. ALBUM EVER."

"VELVET UNDERGROUND & NICO."

AND ON THE COVER THERE'S A...

"THE GREATEST POSTHUMOUSLY RELEASED SONG OF ALL TIME."

EASY ONE. OTIS REDDING, "SITTING ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY."

(rock music playing)

(Jack) ♪ SARAH'S IN THE SUPERMARKET ♪

♪ THINKING I LIKE HER A LOT ♪

♪ EVEN IF I ONLY MET HER ♪

♪ WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KNOW HER BETTER ♪

♪ THINKING WE SHOULD GO ON A DATE ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE NICE, SOMEWHERE GREAT ♪

♪ PLEASE, SARAH, DON'T MAKE ME WAIT ♪

HA! ♪ HOW ABOUT DRINKS? ♪

(music stops) WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SKATING BACK HERE?

SORRY, MOM. MY BAD.

THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE.

YEP. SO, JACK, STILL WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE?

(Trevor sighs)

I'M ON IT.

(chuckles) I'M BALANCING. LOOK AT ME!

I'M ON A SKATEBOARD!

(whispers) IT'S NOT MOVING.

IT WOULD HELP IF YOU PUSHED IT.

YOUR FRIEND'S GOOD WITH KIDS.

HOW ABOUT YOU, JACK?

(doorbell rings)

I TOLD SARAH I WAS OKAY WITH KIDS.

I-I-I WAS ON AUTOPILOT.

I WOULD'VE SAID I WAS INTO WICCA OR PILATES

IF THAT'S WHAT SHE LIKED.

HEY!

LOOK AT THAT. YOU SHOWED.

YOU KEEP COMING UP WITH NEW WAYS TO LOOK GREAT.

IT IS UNCANNY.

THERE'S THE SMOOTH TALK THAT MADE JACK KOZAKOWSKI

NUMBER THREE IN THE MORNING. NUMBER TWO IN THE DEMOS, BABY.

(smarmy voice) AND NUMBER ONE IN OUR HEARTS.

(dogs howl and bark in distance)

THANKS FOR BEING FREE ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

MY USUAL SITTER WAS BUSY, BUT YOUR REFERENCES CHECKED OUT.

SOUNDS LIKE A NICE GUY, THIS FELIX.

HIS CHILDREN-- SUCH LITTLE PRINCES.

(boy) I'M 13. I DON'T NEED A SITTER. MINE AREN'T.

IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY! OKAY, GROUND RULES.

BEN GOES TO BED AT 9:00, ADAM AT 10:00.

THEY CAN WATCH TV, BUT BEN IS SCARED OF ANY SHOW

INVOLVING GHOSTS OR FOR SOME REASON, SALESMEN. IT'S WEIRD.

IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, MY NEIGHBOR, MRS. TURNER,

IS RIGHT NEXT DOOR, AND MY CELL

AND ALL OTHER EMERGENCY NUMBERS ARE ON THE FRIDGE. GOT IT?

BEN, 9:00, ADAM, 10:00, NO SALESMEN,

MRS. TURNER NEXT DOOR, EMERGENCY NUMBER, FRIDGE.

ALL RIGHT. GO WITH GOD.

OKAY. HAVE FUN.

OKAY.

REMIND ME AGAIN--WHICH ONE OF YOU IS ADAM AND WHICH ONE'S BEN?

KID "A," KID "B." GREAT. KID "A," GET YOUR LADIES ON THE LINE.

TELL THEM TO RALLY OVER TO THE PARTY PIT.

WE GOT A BOTTLE FOR SPINNING. WE KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

KID "B," YOU CAN WATCH. OKAY, THAT WAS A JOKE.

I'LL BE IN MY ROOM.

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?

3 MONTHS ON THE OPEN ROAD IN A 1982 EUROVAN WITH NO A.C.?

AND NO WORRIES.

IT WAS THE BEST THREE MONTHS OF MY LIFE.

AND HOW MANY DIFFERENT MUSIC FESTIVALS

DID THE 20-YEAR-OLD YOU HIT?

17. 18, ACTUALLY, IF YOU WANT TO INCLUDE

AN IMPROMPTU UNCLE TUPELO SHOW

THAT HAPPENED ON THE ROOF OF A CHURCH IN EAST ST. LOUIS.

UM, OF COURSE, I DON'T REMEMBER THAT NIGHT,

UM, BUT I'M TOLD IT WAS AWESOME.

I'M SO JEALOUS.

YOU KNOW, GETTING KNOCKED UP AT 19 PUT A SERIOUS CRIMP

IN MY PARTYING EITHER WITH OR LIKE ROCK STARS.

NEVER TOO OLD FOR AN ADVENTURE.

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE IN NEVERLAND, JACK?

YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS A WEE BIT SLEAZY

WHEN I HEARD MARRIED MEN SAY THEY WERE HAPPY TO BE MARRIED,

LIKE, 364 DAYS OUT OF THE YEAR,

BUT THEY WISH THAT THEY COULD HAVE THAT 365th NIGHT OFF.

BUT SOMETIMES?

THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT MOTHERHOOD.

MY BOYS ARE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE ON THE PLANET,

BUT, YEAH, ONE NIGHT A YEAR TO HAVE YOUR LIFE?

I'D TAKE THAT.

(applause) (man) WHOO! ALL RIGHT!

(cheering)

TELL ME THAT'S JUST SOME LONG-HAIRED FELLOW

THAT HAPPENS TO BEAR A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE

TO THE LEAD SINGER OF FUTURE CLOUDS AND RADAR.

I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT.

THANK YOU.

MY NAME'S ROBERT HARRISON,

AND I'D LIKE TO THANK AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE, JACK KOZAKOWSKI,

FOR INVITING ME TO BE HERE TONIGHT.

THIS ONE GOES OUT TO SARAH PORTER,

WHO HAS EXCEPTIONAL TASTE.

(playing "Build Havana")

♪ SHE GETS SO BROKEN UP ♪

♪ SHE CAN'T MEND ♪

(making kissing noises)

OH, I MIGHT BE A LITTLE FUZZY

ON SECOND GRADER SOCIAL ETIQUETTE,

BUT I'D EASE UP ON THE KISSY SOUNDS.

IT SEEMS A LITTLE FORWARD. I WANT YOU TO HAVE MY BABIES.

DUDE, WAY TOO FORWARD. (Adam) BEN!

I WAS ON WITH VANESSA SALVATY. OKAY, GET OFF ME. GET OFF ME.

FINE LINE BETWEEN ROUGHHOUSING AND CAIN AND ABEL.

OW! GAME OVER.

OH, GAME OVER. COME ON. (grunts)

YOUR BROTHER...

(sighs)

I'M TELLING MOM.

THAT'S GONNA BE HARD,

SEEING HOW MOM'S NEVER COMING HOME.

(door slams)

(Ben crying) VERY CONSTRUCTIVE, ADAM.

♪ HOW THIS LITTLE APARTMENT ALWAYS STAYS SO COLD ♪

♪ OUR LOVE'S IN CURRENCY ♪

♪ THAT I CAN'T HOLD ♪

♪ WE COULD BUILD ♪

♪ WE COULD BUILD ♪

♪ HAVANA ♪

(cell phone rings)

(ring, beep)

YES, TREVOR?

Claire, I need your help. It's an emergency.

YOUR PROBLEM, I'M QUITE SURE, CAN WAIT UNTIL OUR NEXT SESSION.

Uh, no, it can't. I'm babysitting,

and the 7-year-old locked himself in the bathroom.

GIVE ME 30 MINUTES.

I KNOW IT'S SCARY, BUT PART OF LIFE IS

KNOWING THAT WHEN SOMEONE GOES OUT, THEY COME BACK. I TRIED THE "THEY COME BACK" ROUTE.

I TRIED THE "DON'T GIVE YOUR BROTHER THE SATISFACTION" ROUTE.

I TRIED THE "YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR BABYSITTER

IN TROUBLE WITH YOUR MOM" ROUTE. SHH!

JUST BECAUSE YOUR MOM WENT OUT TO DINNER OR A MOVIE

DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S GONE GONE.

BEN, WOULD YOU LIKE TO UNLOCK THE DOOR

AND COME OUT AND TALK TO ME? (Ben) NO!

MAYBE YOU COULD UNLOCK THE DOOR AND LET ME IN?

(door unlocks, door opens)

YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SHOW HIM YOUR DEGREES.

I REALLY WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

JACK, THIS WAS A PRETTY GREAT-- AN AMAZING NIGHT, ACTUALLY,

BUT I CAN'T DO THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS.

THAT'S OKAY. I HAVE A LIMITED ROSTER

OF INDIE ROCK LEGENDS THAT I CAN PULL FAVORS FROM.

(chuckles) I'M A MOM.

I DON'T GO OUT, EXCEPT TO PICK UP MY KIDS FROM KARATE

OR GUITAR LESSONS.

WE EAT MEALS IN, I HELP THEM WITH THEIR HOMEWORK.

THAT'S NOT A LIFE I WISH ON ANY SINGLE MAN,

LET ALONE ONE WHO SAYS THE BEST THREE MONTHS OF HIS LIFE

WAS AN 18-FESTIVAL ROAD TRIP.

THE BEST THREE MONTHS.

BUT THAT ROAD TRIP WAS FOUR MONTHS LONG.

WHAT I REALLY WANT

IS JUST TO SEE YOU AS MUCH AS I--

AS MUCH AS I POSSIBLY CAN.

MM.

WELL, BRACE YOURSELF.

WHAT WE FIND INSIDE MIGHT NOT BE PRETTY.

(Sarah) HEY, GUYS. HEY, TREVOR.

HI, STRANGER. HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?

YOU CAME HOME!

YOU CAME HOME. ADAM SAID YOU WERE NEVER COMING HOME. (Sarah) ADAM.

GOD, YOU'RE SUCH A BABY. THIN ICE, ADAM MILES PORTER.

OF COURSE YOU TAKE HIS SIDE. (drops controller)

(door slams)

MY BABYSITTER CALLED IN A PSYCHIATRIST?

TREVOR DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR DATE.

BEN LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM,

AND IT SEEMS HE-- HE WET HIMSELF.

YES. OH. I THOUGHT WE WERE PAST THIS.

THE SCHOOL PSYCHIATRIST--

HE SAYS IT'S LINKED TO THEIR DAD'S ABSENCE. MM-HMM.

HE'D VISIT THE BOYS FOR YEARS AFTER WE LEFT,

BUT WHEN HE STARTED A NEW FAMILY A YEAR AGO, THE VISITS STOPPED.

FEARS OF ABANDONMENT CAN BE VERY REAL

IN THE AFTERMATH OF A DIVORCE.

YEAH. I'M LIVING WITH A DOUBLE DOSE OF IT.

ADAM BURIES IT IN HIS COOL FACADE,

AND BEN WEARS IT ON HIS SLEEVE.

SO? HOW WAS IT? HOW WAS WHAT?

THE MOVIE "HERBIE GOES BANANAS."

THE DATE. HOW WAS THE DATE?

THE DATE WAS AMAZING, BUT...

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT JUST SUNK IN,

YOU KNOW, WHAT THE-- WHAT THE KIDS THING MEANS.

I'M JUST-- I'M--I'M NOT SURE I CAN RELATE.

I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

THIS IS THE ROOM I GREW UP IN.

A ROCK 'N' ROLL SHRINE. IF YOU CAN'T RELATE TO THESE BOYS,

YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH.

JACK KOZAKOWSKI.

IN THE FLESH.

I LISTEN TO YOUR SHOW.

OH, HEY, I-I-I APPRECIATE THAT. UM...

KID "A."

IT USED TO BE REALLY GOOD.

BUT NOW... IT SUCKS.

♪♪

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT YOU CAN'T PLAY WHAT YOU WANT.

WHY DO YOU EVEN STILL WANT TO WORK THERE?

WELL, LET'S SEE, UH, IT KEEPS ME OFF THE STREETS,

UH, YOU KNOW, PAYS THE RENT,

FEEDS INTO MY, UH, GENERAL MASOCHISM.

YEAH, THE MONEY. I-I GET IT.

(laughs) WELL, HOW QUICKLY ONE MOVES

FROM, UH, CULT ICON TO SELLOUT.

♪♪

(knock on door)

WE DID IT.

200 SINGLES HAVE FILLED OUT OUR ONLINE QUESTIONNAIRE--

AN EQUAL MIX OF YOUR SINGLES' GROUP,

KELSEY STANZLER'S LOYAL READERS

AND FRIENDS OF THE DATEWELL CORPORATE STAFF.

SO IT'S GO TIME, HUH? LOOKS LIKE IT.

ARE YOU REALLY INTO TAMARA DE LEMPICKA,

OR IS THIS, LIKE, A CHRISTMAS GIFT FROM A PATIENT?

I'M A BIG FAN, PRETTY MUCH OF ALL THINGS ART DECO.

ME, TOO.

(chuckles) I'M ACTUALLY A MEMBER

OF THE ART DECO SOCIETY OF NEW YORK.

NOT THAT I GO TO THE MEETINGS OR ANYTHING.

I JUST LIKE-- GETTING THE NEWSLETTER?

YEAH.

SO YOU KNOW WHEN THEY'RE DOING THE GUIDED TOURS AND ALL THAT.

OKAY, THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE LESS OF A DORK.

WELL, WE ARE TOTAL DORKS.

SO I GUESS WE SHOULD GET THIS THING GOING, HUH? YEAH.

YEAH, CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHO IT SPITS OUT FOR ME.

YOU FILLED OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE?

A CHEF HAS TO TASTE HIS OWN FOOD, RIGHT?

UM, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY IT.

OH, I'M NOT SURE THAT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE.

UH, USE A PSEUDONYM. NO ONE WILL KNOW.

UH, SEE WHAT IT TURNS UP.

WE SURE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.

GOT A CALL AT WORK TODAY.

WAIT. GIVE ME TEN SECONDS OF AFFIRMATION

SO I KNOW THAT MY LIFE IS NOT A LIE.

DID YOU LIKE DINNER? I LOVED THE MEAL--

SO MUCH SO, IN FACT, THAT NOW I WANT TO CELEBRATE.

REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO BE ME

ONE NIGHT OF THE YEAR? (clenched teeth) NOT IN FRONT OF THE PROGENY.

ELVIS COSTELLO IS TAPING A LIVE PERFORMANCE

AT THE BOWERY IN 90 MINUTES,

AND WE--YOU AND I--ARE 2 OF THE 30 PEOPLE ON THE LIST.

TREVOR'S STANDING BY.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YOU GO.

HERE AT THE PORTER HOUSE,

WE START OUR SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT TONIGHT.

(The Rite Flyers' "Suffer Fools Gladly" playing)

♪ SHE DON'T SUFFER ♪

♪ SHE DON'T, DON'T SUFFER ♪

♪ SHE DON'T SUFFER FOOLS, SUFFER FOOLS ♪

♪ SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY ♪

♪ SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY ♪

♪♪

♪ SHE DON'T SUFFER, SHE DON'T, DON'T SUFFER ♪

♪ SHE DON'T SUFFER FOOLS, SUFFER FOOLS ♪

♪ SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY ♪

♪ SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY ♪

SO YOUR--YOUR NEW SINGLE IS CALLED...

"R.O.F.L"?

YEAH. I WANTED TO DO AN ALBUM THAT REFLECTS ME,

NOT THAT THE LAST ONE DIDN'T-- IT WAS ME.

IT WAS A... DIFFERENT ME, YOU KNOW?

UM, I THINK WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,

THIS ALBUM REALLY REFLECTS THE NEW ME, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, THE "NOW" ME, EVEN THOUGH I RECORDED IT SIX MONTHS AGO.

♪ SHE DON'T SUFFER ♪

♪ SHE DON'T, DON'T SUFFER ♪

♪ SHE DON'T SUFFER FOOLS, SUFFER FOOLS ♪

♪ SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY ♪

♪ SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY ♪

♪ SHE DON'T, SHE DON'T SUFFER ♪ (mouths words)

♪ SHE DON'T, DON'T SUFFER ♪

♪ SHE DON'T SUFFER, SHE DON'T, DON'T SUFFER ♪

♪ SHE DON'T SUFFER, SHE DON'T, DON'T SUFFER ♪

(mouths words)

♪♪

(speaks inaudibly)

CLIFFORD AND I USED TO WORK TOGETHER

WAY BACK AT A STATION IN FLAGSTAFF

THAT NO LONGER EXISTS.

NOW HE'S RUNNING A STATION IN SEATTLE,

SAYS THERE'S A JOB THERE FOR ME. IN SEATTLE?

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WHAT I AM DOING HERE, TREVOR, IN NEW YORK

IS KILLING ME.

OUT IN SEATTLE, I GET TO PLAY WHAT I WANT.

IT'S A DRIVE-TIME SLOT. IT'S THE PERFECT JOB.

EXCEPT IT'S IN SEATTLE, WHICH IS WHY YOU PASSED.

I SAID I'D TAKE A FEW HOURS TO THINK ABOUT IT.

LOOK, MAYBE I CAN TAKE THE JOB, YOU KNOW,

UH, KEEP THINGS GOING WITH SARAH,

AND THEN WHEN WE'RE READY, I'D ASK HER AND THE KIDS

TO MOVE OUT THERE WITH ME. SERIOUSLY, IS THIS YOUR FIRST DAY?

SARAH'S LIFE, HER BOYS' LIVES--

THEY'RE HERE IN NEW YORK.

SHE'S NOT GONNA WANT TO UPROOT AND MOVE TO WEST RAINS-ALL-YEAR

WHERE THEY DON'T KNOW ANYBODY.

SHE WANTS SOMEBODY TO DIG INTO THE GROUND

RIGHT NEXT TO HER AND SETTLE IN.

THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE THIS WORK.

(doorbell rings)

HEY.

HEY.

HEY, GUYS.

HEY. HEY.

YOU'RE RUNNING A BIT LATE TODAY, HUH?

I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS ON A SCHEDULE. YOU'RE NOT. DID YOU EAT?

SORRY. I--NO, I HAVEN'T.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOAD OFF, RELAX?

♪♪

(turns up volume)

(man) ♪ ...OF THE HAND OF YOUR HEART AND SOUL ♪

♪ AND I CAN SAY BEFORE WE GET OLD ♪

HEY, JACK?

YES, KID "A"?

WE HAVE CAREER DAY AT SCHOOL TOMORROW.

YOU MIND SHOWING UP,

OUT-COOLING ALL THE LAWYER DADS?

♪ WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL WORLD ♪

(sighs)

DON'T GET ALL WEIRD ABOUT IT.

WE WON'T START THROWING A FOOTBALL AROUND.

NO SEX TALKS... UNLESS YOU NEED ONE.

(chuckles)

NOW JUST SO I'M CLEAR,

I'M NOT GONNA BE RUBBING YOUR HEAD AND SAYING,

"ATTABOY, CHAMP."

YEAH, YOU GET THE PICTURE.

ALL RIGHT, I'M IN.

PERFECT.

GREAT. BOBBY RONSON AND SOME OF THOSE GUYS

DON'T BELIEVE I KNOW YOU.

HMM.

♪ WELL, I'M STILL TIRED ♪

OH, HEY, THAT'S GREAT.

AHEM.

MMM.

EVERYTHING OKAY?

YEAH.

YEAH, EVERYTHING'S FINE.

(cell phone rings) MM.

♪ YEAH, I CAN SAY IT'S A WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL... ♪

(clicks tongue and groans)

WHO CALLED?

IT'S NOBODY IMPORTANT.

♪ WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL WORLD ♪

(knock on door)

JACK.

I WAS UP ALL NIGHT, WORRIED ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE GONNA DO.

I TRIED CALLING YOU. YOU DID?

ENOUGH TIMES THAT I MADE MYSELF FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

I ATE AN ENTIRE POUND CAKE. I'M STAYING, I'M STAYING.

I GOT THREE PRETTY GOOD REASONS TO STAY IN NEW YORK. EXCELLENT CHOICE.

HEY, YOU GOT THE AFTERNOON FREE?

YOU WANNA ROADIE FOR LEGENDARY DEEJAY JACK KOZAKOWSKI?

I'M SPEAKING OVER AT KID A's CLASS IN QUEENS.

I COULD USE SOME HELP HAULING OVER SOME RECORDS.

I'M ALMOST READY. WHAT TIME ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THERE?

1:30. 1:30. 1:30? JACK, THAT'S AN HOUR FROM NOW, IN QUEENS.

SOUNDING VERY WIFE-LIKE THERE, TREVOR.

VERY UN-ROCK 'N' ROLL.

OKAY, I HAVE 20 MINUTES IN FRONT OF THIS CLASS.

I CAN GIVE 'EM AN EDUCATION.

I COULD SET THESE KIDS ON THE RIGHT PATH.

I CAN, YOU KNOW, SPIN SOME STUFF THAT THEY DON'T KNOW

BUT STUFF THAT THEY'D MOSTLY LIKE. I THINK THEY'D MOSTLY LIKE IF YOU WERE ON TIME.

OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, IN A MINUTE.

OKAY, WE'RE GONNA START OFF

WITH GRANDMASTER FLASH'S "WHITE LINES."

WE'LL DO, UH, YOU KNOW, A PUBLIC SERVICE,

ANTI-DRUG KIND OF THING. THE TEACHER'S GONNA LOVE THAT.

OKAY, GREAT, AND OFF TO QUEENS WE MERRILY GO. AND THEN SABBATH'S "WAR PIGS"

AS A SHOUT-OUT TO THE SEVENTH GRADE METALHEADS,

FOR THEY, TOO, ARE OUR FUTURE.

AND THEN MAYBE...

RASPBERRIES.

YEAH, DELVE INTO THE JOYS OF POWER POP.

(indistinct conversations)

IT'S 1:25. I SHOULD'VE TAKEN MY CAR.

NO. WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD'VE SPENT LESS TIME

ON THE "JOYS OF POWER POP"

AND MORE TIME ON THE A-B-C's OF NOT LETTING KIDS DOWN.

(beeps) (man) THE TRAIN SHOULD BE MOVING SHORTLY.

THE MTA APOLOGIZES FOR THE DELAY.

IT'S--NO SERVICE.

NO SERVICE.

YEAH, I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY WE MISSED IT.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MAKE THIS UP TO KID "A"

IN A PRETTY BIG WAY. I KNOW.

I SUSPECT HIS MOTHER'S GONNA BE AN EVEN TOUGHER SELL.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU TRY HER AGAIN?

I TRIED HER, LIKE, TEN TIMES, OKAY?

SHE'S MADE THE DECISION NOT TO ANSWER.

TRY HER AGAIN.

(sighs)

(beep, speed dialing)

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(ring)

(shuts cell phone)

I HAVE BEEN STANDING OUT HERE FOR A WHILE.

UH, HAND RAISED TO KNOCK, UNABLE TO KNOCK...

HMM.

OH, YEAH, I SH--

I SHOULD PROBABLY LET YOU GUYS MAKE UP.

I AM REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SORRY.

I DON'T CARE.

YOU TALK FOR A LIVING. YOU'RE GOOD AT IT.

MY KIDS--THEY DON'T NEED ANY MORE TALK.

WE'VE HAD OUR QUOTA FILLED WITH MEN WHO DISAPPOINT.

WE NEED A MAN WHO SHOWS UP.

YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND THAT.

YEAH, BUT, SARAH, I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE MEN WHO LET YOU DOWN.

I--MAYBE I WAS.

I ADMIT, I WAS NOT LOOKING TO SETTLE DOWN.

I-I DIDN'T WANT TO.

I JUST HAD THIS IDEA IN MY MIND THAT YOU WERE THE SAME AS ME.

YOU WERE A FELLOW ROCK 'N' ROLL NOMAD. IS THIS MEANT TO COMFORT ME?

NOW I JUST SIT IN MY BOOTH,

WANTING TO GET HOME FOR PIZZA NIGHT,

WONDERING HOW BEN DID ON A SPELLING TEST, UH...

TRYING TO GET A SMILE OUT OF ADAM.

WHEN I THINK OF HOME, I-I THINK OF WHERE YOU AND THE BOYS ARE.

I WAS NEVER INTERESTED IN ANY OF THIS,

BUT THEN YOU HAD TO GO MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT THE CHORUS.

THE BOYS ARE AT KARATE.

AND THEN THEIR FRIEND MILO'S MOM IS PICKING THEM UP

FOR A SLEEPOVER.

WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE THE PERFECT TIME

TO PUT ON "ASTRAL WEEKS."

(chuckles)

(telephone rings)

(Sarah) YOU'VE REACHED THE PORTERS'.

LEAVE A MESSAGE. (beep)

(man) Jack, it's Cliffy. Whose place am I calling?

Is it true? Are you domesticated?

That's too bad, because I've got the best job in America

waiting for you in Seattle.

You've asked for more time to consider the offer.

I've given you more time. Quit keeping me hanging, buddy.

You and I know there's no way you'll ever be happy

playing that Top 40 crap. (beep)

♪♪

HEY. HEY.

SO... THAT GUY FROM THE RADIO STATION?

JACK?

YEAH, IF HE PASSES OUT IN HIS OWN SICK,

YOU'RE CLEANING UP.

JACK, WHAT HAPPENED?

SWEET JANE.

SHE BROKE UP WITH ME.

SHE SAID WE ONLY HAD TWO SCENARIOS.

EITHER I'D EVENTUALLY LEAVE HER,

OR I WOULD STICK AROUND AND RESENT HER FOR IT.

SHE SAID WE WOULD ONLY END TRAGICALLY.

I TOLD HER SHE WAS WRONG. SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN.

SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN... TODAY.

TOMORROW. TOMORROW'S A GREAT DAY FOR LISTENING.

THERE'S NOTHING KEEPING ME IN NEW YORK NOW.

I SHOULD'VE TAKEN CLIFFORD'S OFFER.

MAYBE THEY HAVEN'T FILLED IT. MAYBE I CAN STILL CALL.

DID YOUR MUSICAL HEROES QUIT WHEN THE GOING GOT TOUGH?

DID THE CLASH? DID THE BEATLES? DID THE DOORS?

WELL, IN THAT ORDER, YES, YES...

AND I HAVE KILLED MEN FOR FAR LESS

THAN INSINUATING THAT I EVER LIKED THE DOORS.

IF YOU'RE READY TO QUIT THAT EASILY,

MAYBE SARAH WAS RIGHT TO CUT YOU LOOSE

BEFORE YOU BROKE HER HEART.

(click) (dance music playing)

MUST YOU PUNISH US? I WANNA HEAR JACK.

CHANGE THE STATION, BEN. NO.

(woman) FRANK, YOU'RE ON IN RED HOOK.

(man) Hey, what happened to Jack?

Why isn't he on anymore? (woman) JACK KOZAKOWSKI HIT THE ROAD A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.

NOW YOU'RE HANGING WITH THE MOON QUEEN.

(turns off radio) THERE YOU GO. HE'S PROBABLY IN SEATTLE BY NOW.

I'M SORRY.

BEN, YOU GET TO CHOOSE THE STATION IN THE CAR, OKAY?

ANYTHING YOU LIKE.

HI. MAY I HAVE A LARGE COFFEE, PLEASE?

AND, UH, DO YOU HAVE ANY CROISSANTS TODAY?

I THINK I TOOK THE LAST ONE.

YOU REALIZE YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO SHARE WITH ME NOW, RIGHT?

SO I DID WHAT YOU SUGGESTED.

I CAN BE VERY SUGGESTIVE.

I FILLED OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE, PICKED A PSEUDONYM.

I HAVE THE RESULTS RIGHT HERE IN MY BAG. SHOULD WE--

(scoffs) TOO BUSY FOR A SECOND DATE,

BUT NOT TOO BUSY FOR A FREAKIN' PASTRY, EH? (sighs)

"TRUE CONNECTION"?

"WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW. LET'S WELCOME THE DAWN."

YOU SLEAZY, LYING CREEP.

"LET'S WELCOME THE DAWN"?

UM... I DON'T SUPPOSE WE COULD FORGET

THE LAST 40 SECONDS EVER HAPPENED, COULD WE?

NO. BUT WE CAN FORGET ABOUT ALL THE TIME LEADING UP TO IT.

RIGHT. (chuckles nervously) I UNDERSTAND.

UM, YOU STILL WANT TO SEE THE DATEWELL RESULTS?

OR IF THEY MATCHED US,

WILL YOU LOSE ALL FAITH IN COMPUTER DATING?

OH... NO.

"TAMARA DE LEMPICKA."

THAT'S YOUR MATCH?

TAMARA.

THAT'S A HOT GIRL'S NAME, RIGHT?

I'VE KNOWN TWO TAMARAS.

IT CAN GO EITHER WAY.

TAMARA...

(woman) SARAH.

IS YOUR CELL PHONE OFF?

(groans) DEAD BATTERY. GREAT. BEN'S SCHOOL CALLED.

THEY'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU FOR AN HOUR.

HE'S LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE BOYS' BATHROOM AGAIN. (groans)

BEN, YOU OKAY? YEAH.

UH, HE CALLED ME ON MY CELL PHONE.

I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD. I BROUGHT YOU SOME CLOTHES,

UNLESS YOU WANNA STAY IN WHAT YOU HAVE.

I KINDA FEEL LIKE I'M IN A DRESS, SO...

THANKS FOR COMING.

THOUGHT YOU'D BE IN SEATTLE BY NOW.

SEATTLE DIDN'T SOUND LIKE A FIT.

THE FLANNEL SHIRTS, COFFEE, OUTRIGGER CLUBS...

(chuckles) THANKS, BUT, NO.

THE FACT IS,

I THINK MAYBE NEW YORK CITY STILL HAS A LOT TO OFFER.

YOU THINK SO? I DO.

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON, UH, FIGURING OUT WHAT WORK

WILL MAKE ME HAPPY.

UH, I FIGURED IF I CAN MAKE MYSELF HAPPY,

THEN I COULD SPREAD SOME JOY.

HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

I THINK I'LL GET MY ANSWER SOON ENOUGH.

I LIKE THEIR CHANCES.

THEIR COMMON INTERESTS DIDN'T HURT.

LISTEN, I'M GONNA GO SEE JACK AND SARAH AND THE KIDS

AFTER THIS FOR THE GRAND OPENING.

ANY INTEREST IN JOINING ME? ME? NOW?

CAN WE NOT PRETEND YOU HAVE ANY OTHER PLANS? I'LL GET MY PURSE.

GREAT. (sighs)

(The Pixies' "Here Comes Your Man" playing)

♪ OUTSIDE, THERE'S A BOXCAR WAITING ♪

♪ OUTSIDE THE FAMILY... ♪

SO YOU STILL WORRIED ABOUT CARRYING CDs

ALONGSIDE THE VINYL?

NAH. YOU KNOW, WITH MP3s ALL OVER,

(clicks teeth) CDs ARE THE NEW VINYL.

JUST RETRO ENOUGH.

OH, LOOK AT ADAM.

HE LOVES THIS PLACE.

MM. YEAH, THE KID KNOWS HIS STUFF.

YOU TAUGHT HIM WELL.

♪ THE BOXCAR WAITING ♪

♪ TAKE ME AWAY TO... ♪

LOOK AT THIS. ALL THE BANDS I LISTENED TO IN COLLEGE--

PAVEMENT, LIZ PHAIR.

I LOVED THIS LEMONHEADS RECORD.

DO YOU HAVE A RECORD PLAYER?

NO, BUT MAYBE I'LL GET ONE. MAYBE YOU'LL MEET A GUY WHO LIKES RECORDS, TOO.

EXPLORE YOUR COMMONALITIES,

LIKE YOUR DATEWELL QUESTIONNAIRE.

DATEWELL AND I HAVE PARTED WAYS.

OH. WHY?

RECENT DEVELOPMENTS SUGGEST TO ME

THAT A COMPUTER MAY BE UNABLE TO IDENTIFY CERTAIN FACTORS

REQUIRED TO, UH, BRING A RELATIONSHIP TO LIFE.

INTERESTING.

YES, THIS IS WHERE YOU GLOAT, BRAG,

DO YOUR LITTLE GOALPOST DANCE.

NO DANCING,

FOR IT SEEMS WE HAVE MADE AN IDEOLOGICAL DO-SI-DO.

WHAT, YOU THINK COMPUTERS CAN PLAY A ROLE

IN BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER? PROVIDED THEY WORK HAND IN HAND

WITH A HUMAN UNDERSTANDING OF RELATIONSHIPS.

LOOK, I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE HASTY

AND HARSH WITH YOU, CLAIRE, AND I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY

FOR NOT BEING MORE OPEN TO OTHER PERSPECTIVES.

WOW.

WELL, THANK YOU, TREVOR.

THAT REALLY MEANS A LOT.

YOU'RE WELCOME, TAMARA.

♪ HERE COMES YOUR MAN ♪