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1
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,100
'Is your broth coming to the
boil?'
2
00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:29,563
Yes!
3
00:00:29,604 --> 00:00:32,803
'Then add the prawns and scallops
we pan-seared earlier
4
00:00:32,804 --> 00:00:35,684
'and season with parsley.'
Season with parsley. Right.
5
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,757
Cooking again, Tom?
What's for dinner?
6
00:00:39,758 --> 00:00:42,517
'At this stage you should not
stop stirring, even for a second...'
7
00:00:42,518 --> 00:00:44,158
Shit-balls!
8
00:00:46,238 --> 00:00:47,917
Shit-balls? Eugh!
9
00:00:47,918 --> 00:00:49,998
Still, can't taste much worse
than your Bolognese.
10
00:00:51,038 --> 00:00:53,077
Well, I had an exciting day.
11
00:00:53,078 --> 00:00:55,237
I colour-coordinated my calendar.
12
00:00:55,238 --> 00:00:57,997
Red for work events,
blue for house chores,
13
00:00:57,998 --> 00:00:59,517
green for socialising.
14
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,517
Giving blood isn't socialising.
15
00:01:01,518 --> 00:01:03,398
It's going for a pint!
16
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:09,037
With this diary system, I'll never
forget anything ever again.
17
00:01:09,038 --> 00:01:11,597
Did you remember today
was your sister's birthday?
18
00:01:11,598 --> 00:01:13,557
Shit-balls!
19
00:01:13,558 --> 00:01:15,517
You've been at work with her
all day.
20
00:01:15,518 --> 00:01:18,397
I know - invite her to dinner,
21
00:01:18,398 --> 00:01:20,477
tell her you planned it
as a surprise.
22
00:01:20,478 --> 00:01:21,877
Brilliant.
23
00:01:21,878 --> 00:01:25,037
Well, if this is going to be
a birthday banquet,
24
00:01:25,038 --> 00:01:28,158
then this chowder needs to be
sensational.
25
00:01:29,958 --> 00:01:33,197
And I'm already missing
the most vital ingredient.
26
00:01:33,198 --> 00:01:35,397
'OK, now we move on to the dessert -
27
00:01:35,398 --> 00:01:36,957
'chocolate gateau.'
28
00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:39,078
The most vital ingredient.
29
00:01:40,678 --> 00:01:43,638
Whoa! Tom - nice haircut!
30
00:01:44,758 --> 00:01:46,917
It's a hat, Ben.
31
00:01:46,918 --> 00:01:49,757
Look, leave me alone -
I need to stay focused.
32
00:01:49,758 --> 00:01:52,957
'Melt half a bar of dark cooking
chocolate into the pan.'
33
00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:54,357
Chocolate?
34
00:01:54,358 --> 00:01:56,637
Into a seafood chowder?
35
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:57,798
All right.
36
00:02:00,638 --> 00:02:05,517
'This incredible
housefly has found some solid food
37
00:02:05,518 --> 00:02:08,037
'but, in order to make it edible,
38
00:02:08,038 --> 00:02:14,197
'it is necessary to spit or vomit
saliva directly onto the food.'
39
00:02:14,198 --> 00:02:17,438
Well, in for a penny...
40
00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:20,917
'Once the housefly has feasted...'
41
00:02:20,918 --> 00:02:22,717
"Housefly"?! Ben!
42
00:02:22,718 --> 00:02:26,038
You just very nearly ruined
my seafood and chocolate chowder.
43
00:02:27,038 --> 00:02:28,797
Don't blame me, blame Matthew.
44
00:02:28,798 --> 00:02:31,197
He's the one that signed me up
to this bloody course.
45
00:02:31,198 --> 00:02:35,317
"Home Education Course -
Insectology"?
46
00:02:35,318 --> 00:02:37,078
More like bullshit-ology.
47
00:02:41,838 --> 00:02:44,877
It worked! Tonight, we're hosting a
surprise party.
48
00:02:44,878 --> 00:02:47,278
- I didn't know about this.
- Surprise!
49
00:02:49,318 --> 00:02:51,678
Is something burning?
Shit-balls!
50
00:02:52,678 --> 00:02:55,917
Shit-balls?
But we had them for lunch!
51
00:02:55,918 --> 00:02:58,117
I'm proud of you for doing this
course, Ben.
52
00:02:58,118 --> 00:02:59,837
Finally, you'll have a
qualification,
53
00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:01,917
be ready to face the world,
get out the house,
54
00:03:01,918 --> 00:03:04,117
put all those years of academic
failure behind you.
55
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:06,398
What do you mean,
"academic failure"?
56
00:03:10,118 --> 00:03:11,158
Time's up.
57
00:03:23,758 --> 00:03:24,798
Time's up.
58
00:03:32,798 --> 00:03:34,758
Time's up.
59
00:03:51,918 --> 00:03:54,957
You get 30 insects, you observe them
for a week and record your findings.
60
00:03:54,958 --> 00:03:58,877
The tank arrived this morning.
I get to drive a tank?!
61
00:03:58,878 --> 00:04:00,037
Oh.
62
00:04:00,038 --> 00:04:03,718
Still, how hard can it be
to just look at something?
63
00:04:07,878 --> 00:04:08,958
Where are they?
64
00:04:10,198 --> 00:04:12,037
Stick insects.
65
00:04:12,038 --> 00:04:13,278
Masters of disguise!
66
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,477
Good luck, buddy!
67
00:04:16,478 --> 00:04:18,117
Pfft.
68
00:04:18,118 --> 00:04:19,837
"Masters of disguise."
69
00:04:19,838 --> 00:04:23,317
Don't give me that.
See, there's one.
70
00:04:23,318 --> 00:04:25,397
Oh, no, that's a twig.
71
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:28,597
Oh! No, that's a twig...
72
00:04:28,598 --> 00:04:33,197
I'm not going to be able see them
with all these bloody sticks in the tank!
73
00:04:33,198 --> 00:04:34,238
That's better.
74
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,078
Oh!
75
00:04:51,478 --> 00:04:53,918
That's the banner.
Now for some music.
76
00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:58,037
How can we only own two CDs?
77
00:04:58,038 --> 00:05:00,757
Coldplay or Christmas Hits?
78
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,198
No choice there.
79
00:05:04,758 --> 00:05:07,717
? Rockin' around
the Christmas tree... ?
80
00:05:07,718 --> 00:05:09,478
It is July but I'm not a BLEEP.
81
00:05:11,318 --> 00:05:18,157
? Mistletoe hung where you can see
Every couple tries to stop
82
00:05:18,158 --> 00:05:20,637
? Rockin' around
The Christmas tree... ?
83
00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:24,118
The disco zone is open for business!
84
00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:27,237
Argh!
85
00:05:27,238 --> 00:05:30,758
I've found 29 but I think
there's one still on the loose.
86
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:35,158
I'll keep an eye out.
Good work, David Shattenborough.
87
00:05:36,678 --> 00:05:38,317
How's the food coming along, Tom?
88
00:05:38,318 --> 00:05:40,317
It tastes awful.
89
00:05:40,318 --> 00:05:43,357
I don't understand, I followed
that cookery show to the letter -
90
00:05:43,358 --> 00:05:45,077
prawns, scallops,
91
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:47,517
chocolate, cherry lip balm.
92
00:05:47,518 --> 00:05:51,277
Cherry lip balm? Think that bit
might have been an advert.
93
00:05:51,278 --> 00:05:53,397
Look, Rachel's going to be here
any minute.
94
00:05:53,398 --> 00:05:56,197
A single perfect ingredient
can utterly transform a dish.
95
00:05:56,198 --> 00:05:58,077
Just find one of those.
96
00:05:58,078 --> 00:06:00,797
A single perfect ingredient.
97
00:06:00,798 --> 00:06:02,957
Right.
98
00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:04,677
Er...
99
00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:07,518
Half a can of super-strength cider?
100
00:06:08,558 --> 00:06:10,397
Lard?
101
00:06:10,398 --> 00:06:13,917
But if I use those, what are we
going to have for dessert?
102
00:06:13,918 --> 00:06:15,877
Hang on! What's this?
103
00:06:15,878 --> 00:06:18,077
A cinnamon stick?
104
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,317
Perfect!
105
00:06:20,318 --> 00:06:24,158
Oh, and Ben's lost one of his stick
insects, so keep an eye out, yeah?
106
00:06:27,598 --> 00:06:30,957
I knew cinnamon sticks didn't have
legs.
107
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:34,718
Come on in, birthday girl!
Step into the disco zone.
108
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:41,517
This is so sweet of you, Matthew.
I genuinely thought you'd forgotten.
109
00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:43,837
Cocktail?
Oh, thanks!
110
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,557
Why are you playing Christmas music?
111
00:06:45,558 --> 00:06:47,477
It's the only CD I could find
apart from Coldplay
112
00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:51,277
and I'm not playing that.
Yeah, you're not a BLEEP.
113
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,677
Thanks for planning a party.
114
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:55,757
Andrew's away on a conference
but this is perfect.
115
00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:59,038
Hey, good-looking,
check who's cooking.
116
00:07:00,998 --> 00:07:04,638
Almost perfect.
Rachel, happy birt!
117
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:07,317
I bought you a present.
118
00:07:07,318 --> 00:07:09,037
Aww.
It's a photo frame.
119
00:07:09,038 --> 00:07:11,358
Oh, that's really quite...
120
00:07:12,718 --> 00:07:15,037
Tom, there's a picture of you in it.
121
00:07:15,038 --> 00:07:16,998
That was in there when I bought it.
122
00:07:18,278 --> 00:07:20,397
Ah. Found it!
123
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,038
Ah, no, that's a cinnamon stick.
124
00:07:24,398 --> 00:07:27,797
Wow. You guys have really made an
effort.
125
00:07:27,798 --> 00:07:28,957
Ben, are you tidying?
126
00:07:28,958 --> 00:07:32,957
No, I'm trying to observe
these bloody stick creatures.
127
00:07:32,958 --> 00:07:34,877
They don't even look like insects.
128
00:07:34,878 --> 00:07:36,878
Ben, that's a bowl of Twiglets.
129
00:07:38,038 --> 00:07:39,957
Damn it!
130
00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:43,117
You know what, boys?
This is going to be fun.
131
00:07:43,118 --> 00:07:45,637
Just good food...
132
00:07:45,638 --> 00:07:47,037
Ta-dah!
Eugh!
133
00:07:47,038 --> 00:07:48,717
A nice drink...
134
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:52,198
One hollowed-out orange,
filled with gin.
135
00:07:54,198 --> 00:07:56,317
Basically, a night away
from the stresses of work.
136
00:07:56,318 --> 00:08:00,637
So, no mention of Mr Carabine
or Carabine Promotions, OK?
137
00:08:00,638 --> 00:08:03,677
Happy birthday, Rachel!
138
00:08:03,678 --> 00:08:04,837
Mr Carabine!
139
00:08:04,838 --> 00:08:07,438
Look who I invited! Surprise!
140
00:08:08,958 --> 00:08:11,677
Can I fetch you a drink, sir?
Do you do cocktails? Of course.
141
00:08:11,678 --> 00:08:14,318
Then I'll have a hollowed-out orange
filled with gin.
142
00:08:17,238 --> 00:08:19,637
Rachel, I got you a present.
143
00:08:19,638 --> 00:08:22,957
Oh, you burned me a CD.
144
00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:25,158
Yes. Coldplay.
145
00:08:26,998 --> 00:08:29,877
Have you heard of them?
They're very good.
146
00:08:29,878 --> 00:08:32,718
You like Coldplay.
What a surprise!
147
00:08:33,838 --> 00:08:36,077
Tom, surprise.
148
00:08:36,078 --> 00:08:40,117
Well, wait just one minute because
I've got a big surprise for you.
149
00:08:40,118 --> 00:08:43,358
Ooh! Now you know how you love
ponies?
150
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,198
Matthew, I'm allergic to ponies.
151
00:08:55,598 --> 00:08:59,438
Ugh. Do you know what?
I don't feel so good after all.
152
00:09:06,958 --> 00:09:09,637
I think I might just go.
153
00:09:09,638 --> 00:09:11,877
But, Rachel, this is your party!
154
00:09:11,878 --> 00:09:13,597
My party?
155
00:09:13,598 --> 00:09:17,638
Christmas music and dodgy food
and my boss?
156
00:09:20,278 --> 00:09:23,997
You've basically just recreated
every horrible office party I've ever been to.
157
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,277
All I need now
is for some sleazy bloke
158
00:09:26,278 --> 00:09:28,437
to try and get off with me
in the stationery cupboard.
159
00:09:28,438 --> 00:09:30,838
I've got some pencils in my room.
160
00:09:32,118 --> 00:09:33,158
Sit down, Tom.
161
00:09:36,838 --> 00:09:39,757
The best present you could have given
me today, Matthew,
162
00:09:39,758 --> 00:09:42,477
was to show you've taken the
slightest bit of interest in my life.
163
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:46,517
Well, at least stay for us to sing
you Happy Birthday. We've been practising!
164
00:09:46,518 --> 00:09:48,517
? Happy birthday
165
00:09:48,518 --> 00:09:50,117
? Happy birthday
166
00:09:50,118 --> 00:09:52,917
? Happy birthday
167
00:09:52,918 --> 00:10:00,237
? Rachel... ?
168
00:10:00,238 --> 00:10:02,678
Ta-dah!
169
00:10:04,678 --> 00:10:08,117
Well, that was something else.
170
00:10:08,118 --> 00:10:10,357
Just a pity Rachel
didn't stick around to see it.
171
00:10:10,358 --> 00:10:13,077
Yeah, I still don't get
why she left.
172
00:10:13,078 --> 00:10:15,957
She said it was because you take
not a jot of interest in her life.
173
00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:18,357
Did she? I wasn't really listening.
174
00:10:18,358 --> 00:10:22,157
Just out of interest, your stick
insects, they're not poisonous, are they?
175
00:10:22,158 --> 00:10:23,278
No. Why do you ask?
176
00:10:24,678 --> 00:10:29,477
I'm getting fish, I'm getting
chocolate, I'm getting cherry lip balm.
177
00:10:29,478 --> 00:10:31,757
This is... Oh!
I love it! This is incredible.
178
00:10:31,758 --> 00:10:33,117
He's right, Tom, it's delicious.
179
00:10:33,118 --> 00:10:35,837
Whatever it was you've added,
it's transformed the dish.
180
00:10:35,838 --> 00:10:39,437
There's a secret ingredient, is
there? What is it?
181
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:41,077
Well, er...
182
00:10:41,078 --> 00:10:43,357
A good chef never reveals his
secr-insects.
183
00:10:43,358 --> 00:10:45,877
No, no, I mean stick-rets!
184
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:49,317
No, I mean secrets.
185
00:10:49,318 --> 00:10:54,478
You know, I'd go as far as to
call this a taste sensation.
186
00:10:55,598 --> 00:10:58,757
In fact - let me take
a sample round for my sister.
187
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,157
I didn't know you had a sister, sir.
188
00:11:00,158 --> 00:11:03,077
Oh, yes, yeah, yeah.
She writes a food blog, yeah, yeah.
189
00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:05,397
She's been om-nom-nominated
for a Foodie Award.
190
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:10,237
Ah, yeah.
I'll just zing it round to her now.
191
00:11:10,238 --> 00:11:13,477
It's a Thursday, so she'll be
coming back from netball.
192
00:11:13,478 --> 00:11:17,797
You see, Matthew, I take time
to get to know my sister.
193
00:11:17,798 --> 00:11:21,037
Yeah? Now, does that make me
a better person than you?
194
00:11:21,038 --> 00:11:22,118
Yes, it does.
195
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,557
Well, I must away.
196
00:11:26,558 --> 00:11:31,997
It has been my pleasure.
My deepest, darkest pleasure.
197
00:11:31,998 --> 00:11:33,438
Word up! Goodbye.
198
00:11:34,878 --> 00:11:38,677
Did you hear that?
I know, "Word up"?
199
00:11:38,678 --> 00:11:41,477
No, "A taste sensation"! Ha!
200
00:11:41,478 --> 00:11:44,598
I knew my cooking
was destined for greatness.
201
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:49,077
Well, I suppose
I'd better get back to my insects.
202
00:11:49,078 --> 00:11:54,677
Right, I'll need loads of fish,
bags of chocolate,
203
00:11:54,678 --> 00:11:58,238
tons of cherry lip balm and...
204
00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:06,158
about 29 secret ingredients.
205
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,958
Oh!
206
00:12:16,598 --> 00:12:20,957
Rachel's right. I don't take
enough interest in her life. I just don't know how.
207
00:12:20,958 --> 00:12:24,357
"You can learn all there is to know
about your subject
208
00:12:24,358 --> 00:12:27,117
"through quiet clinical
observation."
209
00:12:27,118 --> 00:12:31,078
Clinical observation?
I could do that.
210
00:12:32,478 --> 00:12:35,237
I can see you, Rachel!
211
00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:38,117
Argh!
212
00:12:38,118 --> 00:12:41,637
"The stick insect will make
as little movement as possible
213
00:12:41,638 --> 00:12:45,877
"in order to blend in with its
background and avoid detection."
214
00:12:45,878 --> 00:12:48,437
Ha. Do you know what, guys?
215
00:12:48,438 --> 00:12:51,478
I think we've got more in common
than I first thought.
216
00:12:59,318 --> 00:13:01,597
Ben?
217
00:13:01,598 --> 00:13:02,838
Where's he gone?
218
00:13:24,158 --> 00:13:25,517
Right.
219
00:13:25,518 --> 00:13:27,957
Let's take this observation
to the next level.
220
00:13:27,958 --> 00:13:31,717
Rachel's password.
Maybe one of our childhood pets.
221
00:13:31,718 --> 00:13:33,837
"Fluffsy"?
222
00:13:33,838 --> 00:13:35,397
No.
223
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,397
"Waffle"?
224
00:13:37,398 --> 00:13:38,438
No.
225
00:13:39,678 --> 00:13:42,517
"Password123"?
226
00:13:42,518 --> 00:13:44,398
I'm in.
227
00:13:45,598 --> 00:13:47,397
Ah, Password123.
228
00:13:47,398 --> 00:13:50,037
The best goldfish we ever had.
229
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,597
Now. let's see...
230
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,437
Brother - Matthew.
231
00:13:54,438 --> 00:13:56,957
Place of work - Carabine Promotions.
232
00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:58,838
Yes, yes, this is all good stuff.
233
00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:02,477
Matthew, what are you doing in here?
234
00:14:02,478 --> 00:14:06,318
Can't you see I'm busy?! Piss off!
OK. Sorry!
235
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,357
Now, where were we?
236
00:14:10,358 --> 00:14:15,557
Likes - beach holidays, reading,
and her best friends, Helen and Amy.
237
00:14:15,558 --> 00:14:18,197
Dislikes - being told to piss off.
238
00:14:18,198 --> 00:14:20,038
How was I to know?
239
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:29,117
Dude, I think I've made
my first scientific observation.
240
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:35,358
All of my stick insects have changed
colour and grown bulbous red heads.
241
00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:40,917
Good work, mate,
but that tank can't stay there.
242
00:14:40,918 --> 00:14:42,917
My first customers
will be here any minute.
243
00:14:42,918 --> 00:14:44,797
Customers? Yeah.
244
00:14:44,798 --> 00:14:47,637
Carabine's sister loved my cooking!
245
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:50,838
She gave me five forks out of five
on Yumblr.
246
00:14:51,918 --> 00:14:53,078
So check it out!
247
00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:59,477
My own pop-up restaurant!
248
00:14:59,478 --> 00:15:02,997
Pop-up? Like the books
you read me at bedtime?
249
00:15:02,998 --> 00:15:08,877
We'll be serving my signature dish,
cherry choc chowder.
250
00:15:08,878 --> 00:15:10,038
No!
251
00:15:11,198 --> 00:15:14,198
Whatever you do, do not
open that door.
252
00:15:17,678 --> 00:15:20,998
I'm going to need your help.
Go and move your specimens.
253
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:27,157
Oh, my stick insects.
Dude, they're not just specimens.
254
00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:31,158
I love those insects.
It's like... they're my best friends.
255
00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,558
Apart from you of course, mate.
256
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,477
Stay strong, Tom.
257
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:41,398
You're a top chef now...
258
00:15:42,798 --> 00:15:47,438
and, like all top chefs,
you have to be a complete BLEEP.
259
00:15:54,358 --> 00:15:57,277
'Right. That's Helen's e-mail
hacked.
260
00:15:57,278 --> 00:16:01,718
'And the tap on Amy's phone line
will be up and running in minutes.
261
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:08,958
'Now... let me see...'
262
00:16:14,798 --> 00:16:18,398
'Helen is an old school friend
who last contacted Rachel a week ago.
263
00:16:19,838 --> 00:16:23,358
'Amy took Rachel for lunch
on Saturday.
264
00:16:26,238 --> 00:16:29,398
'The parts of the puzzle
are starting to fit together.'
265
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,837
'What's this?
Rachel's got an e-mail.
266
00:16:36,838 --> 00:16:39,517
'She's going to Zumba tonight!
267
00:16:39,518 --> 00:16:40,638
'Isn't that in Africa?
268
00:16:41,718 --> 00:16:44,397
'Ah - it's a keep-fit class.
269
00:16:44,398 --> 00:16:46,397
'Women only.
270
00:16:46,398 --> 00:16:48,798
'I guess this is where
the trail goes cold.'
271
00:16:49,958 --> 00:16:51,198
Unless...
272
00:16:54,438 --> 00:16:56,997
So if we see you in the vicinity
of that leisure centre again,
273
00:16:56,998 --> 00:16:59,717
it will be more than just a caution.
Is that clear, sir?
274
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:01,637
Yes, yes, I understand.
275
00:17:01,638 --> 00:17:03,157
Certainly, Mr Edwards.
276
00:17:03,158 --> 00:17:05,837
I have a lovely table for two
by the burst beanbag.
277
00:17:05,838 --> 00:17:08,197
Ben! Ben!
278
00:17:08,198 --> 00:17:10,078
Good evening, madam.
279
00:17:11,078 --> 00:17:14,877
Welcome to the Secret Food Society.
Do you have a reservation?
280
00:17:14,878 --> 00:17:16,197
Ben, it's me.
281
00:17:16,198 --> 00:17:20,197
I don't care who you are, madam -
we're full.
282
00:17:20,198 --> 00:17:21,677
Although...
283
00:17:21,678 --> 00:17:25,958
for a good-looking lady like
yourself, I may be able to make an exception.
284
00:17:27,278 --> 00:17:30,397
Matthew! It's you!
285
00:17:30,398 --> 00:17:31,438
Wow!
286
00:17:32,998 --> 00:17:34,638
Service!
287
00:17:37,278 --> 00:17:40,038
Ben, get a move on!
Tom, what's going on here?
288
00:17:41,078 --> 00:17:42,917
It's make or break time in the
kitchen
289
00:17:42,918 --> 00:17:45,317
and I've got a restaurant
full of hungry diners.
290
00:17:45,318 --> 00:17:47,917
Who's he talking to?
He's been like that all afternoon.
291
00:17:47,918 --> 00:17:50,757
The question is, can I get the food
out fast,
292
00:17:50,758 --> 00:17:53,718
keep the quality high
and not lose my temper?
293
00:17:54,718 --> 00:17:57,877
Ben, you arsehole, get to work!
294
00:17:57,878 --> 00:18:00,717
No! I quit!
295
00:18:00,718 --> 00:18:02,757
Matthew!
Yes, chef!
296
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:04,077
Where are the bowls?
297
00:18:04,078 --> 00:18:06,077
We only own three bowls.
298
00:18:06,078 --> 00:18:10,958
Yeah. Real food lovers aren't into
bowls, Matthew.
299
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:16,038
Ground-breaking food
doesn't come in bowls.
300
00:18:17,518 --> 00:18:19,637
Table three. Go.
301
00:18:19,638 --> 00:18:22,038
Leave the rest to me.
302
00:18:23,518 --> 00:18:25,637
Madam!
303
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,638
You've had your pre-dinner drink.
304
00:18:29,438 --> 00:18:33,318
Now it's time for the main course.
305
00:18:36,838 --> 00:18:39,598
Sir, you look hungry.
306
00:18:43,758 --> 00:18:45,198
Fill your boots!
307
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:53,758
Sir, just a ladle bit for you.
308
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:59,678
And, madam, you'll be eating
out of the palm of my hand.
309
00:19:03,278 --> 00:19:05,397
Tom, you can't serve food like this!
310
00:19:05,398 --> 00:19:07,237
Of course.
311
00:19:07,238 --> 00:19:09,118
I forgot the croutons!
312
00:19:11,278 --> 00:19:13,237
Croutons!
313
00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:15,118
Bon appetit!
314
00:19:16,398 --> 00:19:21,477
I truly feel
at one with these incredible insects.
315
00:19:21,478 --> 00:19:25,638
If only I could
communicate with them directly.
316
00:19:26,638 --> 00:19:29,277
This guy does realise
we're only matches, right?
317
00:19:29,278 --> 00:19:33,558
- Someone should tell the prick.
- Oi, dickhead, we're matches!
318
00:19:36,118 --> 00:19:38,998
What I wouldn't give
to know what they were saying.
319
00:19:46,958 --> 00:19:50,078
All that stick insect slaughter
for nothing.
320
00:19:51,238 --> 00:19:53,117
Tom!
321
00:19:53,118 --> 00:19:54,998
Ben. Listen, mate...
322
00:19:56,558 --> 00:19:58,197
there's something I need
to tell you.
323
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:02,157
Me first. I've been studying
my stick insects all night
324
00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:03,918
and working on this...
325
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:07,518
Stick Evolution.
326
00:20:09,438 --> 00:20:14,437
I have witnessed the development
of a new breed of stick insect.
327
00:20:14,438 --> 00:20:16,558
They live in boxes.
328
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:22,957
They keep warm by striking their
heads against a wall.
329
00:20:22,958 --> 00:20:28,318
And sometimes they will collect
together to make the model of a ship.
330
00:20:33,038 --> 00:20:35,437
I've finally achieved something
with my life.
331
00:20:35,438 --> 00:20:39,517
I've never been happier.
Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?
332
00:20:39,518 --> 00:20:41,837
Oh...
333
00:20:41,838 --> 00:20:44,717
It doesn't matter.
Good work, mate.
334
00:20:44,718 --> 00:20:48,157
All I want now is a bit of
recognition.
335
00:20:48,158 --> 00:20:53,237
If only I knew a scientist,
then I could present my findings.
336
00:20:53,238 --> 00:20:57,037
Yeah.
And if only there was a better way
337
00:20:57,038 --> 00:21:00,997
to demonstrate to the wider world
my culinary ability.
338
00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:04,837
And if only I could prove to Rachel
that I know all about her life
339
00:21:04,838 --> 00:21:06,357
and her two best friends -
340
00:21:06,358 --> 00:21:09,837
Helen, a biologist
at the National Science Institute,
341
00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:14,117
and Amy, a respected restaurant
critic and Michelin judge.
342
00:21:14,118 --> 00:21:15,717
Hmm...
343
00:21:15,718 --> 00:21:17,718
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
344
00:21:19,798 --> 00:21:21,238
Food fight!
345
00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:27,397
We'll invite Rachel and her friends
for lunch tomorrow, right?
346
00:21:27,398 --> 00:21:30,398
Ahh!
347
00:21:32,118 --> 00:21:34,277
Better get started on my lecture.
348
00:21:34,278 --> 00:21:38,038
But first things first -
breakfast.
349
00:21:43,438 --> 00:21:46,278
We're out of Wagon Wheels!
350
00:21:47,318 --> 00:21:48,997
Oh, well.
351
00:21:48,998 --> 00:21:50,158
Guess I'll just have a...
352
00:22:00,958 --> 00:22:04,117
Ladies! Come on in!
353
00:22:04,118 --> 00:22:05,597
Make yourselves comfortable!
354
00:22:05,598 --> 00:22:07,237
Ah!
355
00:22:07,238 --> 00:22:08,278
Take a seat.
356
00:22:09,478 --> 00:22:10,957
Thanks for the invitation, Matthew,
357
00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:15,078
although it was a bit creepy
to find this pinned to my front door.
358
00:22:16,798 --> 00:22:20,157
Anyway, let me introduce you.
This is Amy.
359
00:22:20,158 --> 00:22:24,717
Who gave you a lift here
in her 1985 racing-red Porsche Carrera,
360
00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:27,117
a car that's worth over 40 grand.
361
00:22:27,118 --> 00:22:28,717
Wow. Yeah.
362
00:22:28,718 --> 00:22:30,597
OK, and this is Helen.
363
00:22:30,598 --> 00:22:32,917
Helen, whose work
at the National Science Institute
364
00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:36,717
recently led to the discovery
of a new species of British house spider.
365
00:22:36,718 --> 00:22:38,717
Yes, how did you know...?
366
00:22:38,718 --> 00:22:42,237
Know all about the Brown Shadow?
Which has distinctive yellow dots on its back
367
00:22:42,238 --> 00:22:44,757
and contains a rare and deadly
venom?
368
00:22:44,758 --> 00:22:47,077
It's common knowledge.
369
00:22:47,078 --> 00:22:49,758
Matthew, I'm a bit weirded out...
By clowns.
370
00:22:51,878 --> 00:22:55,077
Ever since one fell on you
at your tenth birthday party.
371
00:22:55,078 --> 00:22:59,277
I must say, I haven't...
...been this impressed since you went scuba diving on your gap year?
372
00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:02,677
What?
Wow! He really knows...
373
00:23:02,678 --> 00:23:05,158
About you smoking crack in Thailand.
374
00:23:08,158 --> 00:23:09,917
Well, food will be ready any minute
375
00:23:09,918 --> 00:23:12,037
and you're all in
for a real culinary treat.
376
00:23:12,038 --> 00:23:15,358
Oh, God!
That tastes like cat piss!
377
00:23:16,398 --> 00:23:19,958
I'm going to check on the food.
In the meantime... Ben!
378
00:23:21,998 --> 00:23:25,957
Ben has made some fascinating
discoveries in the field of insectology.
379
00:23:25,958 --> 00:23:29,477
I've made some fascinating
discoveries, all right.
380
00:23:29,478 --> 00:23:32,517
But I won't be needing these.
381
00:23:32,518 --> 00:23:37,358
I am here today to talk about
betrayal!
382
00:23:38,838 --> 00:23:42,437
Tom, what's going on?
383
00:23:42,438 --> 00:23:44,478
I need a new secret ingredient.
384
00:23:45,678 --> 00:23:48,118
And this cat piss certainly isn't
it.
385
00:23:49,158 --> 00:23:51,278
It tastes exactly how you'd imagine.
386
00:23:52,358 --> 00:23:54,437
Why aren't you sticking
to your signature dish?
387
00:23:54,438 --> 00:23:57,637
I had a change of heart
about my secret ingredient.
388
00:23:57,638 --> 00:24:00,037
I couldn't cook any more
of Ben's stick insects.
389
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:02,277
You've been cooking Ben's stick
insects? How could you?
390
00:24:02,278 --> 00:24:06,157
Well, first you lightly grill them,
then you add a little pepper...
391
00:24:06,158 --> 00:24:09,757
Never mind, just make sure
this food is delicious - we've all got a lot riding on this.
392
00:24:09,758 --> 00:24:15,437
Tonight, the world of stick
will rise above the world of food!
393
00:24:15,438 --> 00:24:17,798
Oh, God! What's he saying?
394
00:24:19,158 --> 00:24:23,077
If only there was another insect
I could replace it with.
395
00:24:23,078 --> 00:24:24,437
Ah-ha!
396
00:24:24,438 --> 00:24:29,838
And when helpless innocents
are being snapped in two like twigs and boiled alive?!
397
00:24:31,438 --> 00:24:34,077
Revenge. Revenge!
398
00:24:34,078 --> 00:24:39,078
Um... thanks, Ben. Shall we adjourn
to the dining table?
399
00:24:40,678 --> 00:24:44,077
What did he tell you?
I honestly have no idea.
400
00:24:44,078 --> 00:24:48,277
Ladies!
401
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:50,757
This is my signature dish.
402
00:24:50,758 --> 00:24:55,517
Hopefully, it is to die for!
403
00:24:55,518 --> 00:24:57,878
You monster!
404
00:25:09,838 --> 00:25:12,597
Now, Amy, I am open to criticism
405
00:25:12,598 --> 00:25:16,357
so don't be afraid to give me
compliments,
406
00:25:16,358 --> 00:25:18,998
rave reviews, a Michelin star.
407
00:25:23,198 --> 00:25:24,877
Actually...
408
00:25:24,878 --> 00:25:26,357
this is really good.
409
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:27,677
It is?
410
00:25:27,678 --> 00:25:28,877
Mmm!
411
00:25:28,878 --> 00:25:30,078
Savages!
412
00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:36,998
What's he doing?
413
00:25:38,278 --> 00:25:39,917
Why is he chopping down a tree?
414
00:25:39,918 --> 00:25:43,357
This tree will fall directly
on to the kitchen,
415
00:25:43,358 --> 00:25:46,037
ending Tom's reign of tyranny.
416
00:25:46,038 --> 00:25:52,397
Sometimes you have to chop down
a big stick to save some little sticks.
417
00:25:52,398 --> 00:25:55,118
- Oh, no!
- Timber!
418
00:25:59,438 --> 00:26:00,478
Shit-balls!
419
00:26:01,678 --> 00:26:05,397
Ah! Don't worry. He chopped the
wrong side.
420
00:26:05,398 --> 00:26:07,758
It's fallen the other way. Ha!
421
00:26:08,838 --> 00:26:12,797
Anyway, he didn't have to do that.
I'd stopped cooking with stick insects.
422
00:26:12,798 --> 00:26:15,237
So what's the new secret ingredient?
Well...
423
00:26:15,238 --> 00:26:19,597
I found another insect, a little
brown spider with yellow spots.
424
00:26:19,598 --> 00:26:21,318
Oh, my God!
425
00:26:23,118 --> 00:26:25,118
Oh, my God!
426
00:26:27,158 --> 00:26:28,237
Um...
427
00:26:28,238 --> 00:26:32,838
I don't suppose anyone owns
a 1985 Porsche Carrera?
428
00:26:33,838 --> 00:26:35,557
My car!
429
00:26:35,558 --> 00:26:37,757
Oh, my God!
430
00:26:37,758 --> 00:26:41,077
And, Tom! Brown and yellow spider?
You used a Brown Shadow!
431
00:26:41,078 --> 00:26:44,077
And, according to the National
Science Institute, the Brown Shadow...
432
00:26:44,078 --> 00:26:46,518
Contains a rare and deadly venom.
433
00:27:03,918 --> 00:27:06,478
Is now the right time to ask
if you think I'm a good brother?
434
00:27:13,238 --> 00:27:15,557
Well, that was the hospital.
435
00:27:15,558 --> 00:27:19,717
Don't tell me - it's not as serious
as it first looked and they're going to be fine.
436
00:27:19,718 --> 00:27:22,158
No, no -
the venom liquidised their kidneys.
437
00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:26,638
They're both in comas!
438
00:27:29,278 --> 00:27:32,997
Anyway. Listen, mate, I'm sorry
about the whole stick insect thing.
439
00:27:32,998 --> 00:27:34,357
Ah, it's fine.
440
00:27:34,358 --> 00:27:37,037
In the end, you decided to put
a Michelin star second
441
00:27:37,038 --> 00:27:38,198
and our friendship first.
442
00:27:39,678 --> 00:27:42,517
Hey, you think Matthew and his
sister are going to be OK?
443
00:27:42,518 --> 00:27:44,117
Do you know what?
444
00:27:44,118 --> 00:27:46,437
I think they're going to be just
fine.
445
00:27:46,438 --> 00:27:48,717
No, tell me, tell me, tell me...
446
00:27:48,718 --> 00:27:51,397
Well, Helen lied on her CV
about having a biology degree.
447
00:27:51,398 --> 00:27:53,557
And Amy slept with Helen's
boyfriend.
448
00:27:53,558 --> 00:27:55,997
Oh, I want all the details.
449
00:27:55,998 --> 00:27:57,877
In fact, let's go for dinner next
week.
450
00:27:57,878 --> 00:28:00,477
I don't think I can do next week.
451
00:28:00,478 --> 00:28:03,637
Yeah, I'm socialising.
"Socialising"?
452
00:28:03,638 --> 00:28:06,037
Hm. "Date Night."
453
00:28:06,038 --> 00:28:08,597
Oh, wow. I'm impressed. Date Night?
454
00:28:08,598 --> 00:28:11,318
Well, after the success
of Prune Afternoon...
455
00:28:14,958 --> 00:28:17,637
Did you manage to replace
those stick insects, Ben?
456
00:28:17,638 --> 00:28:19,917
A new batch of my sticky pals
arrived today.
457
00:28:19,918 --> 00:28:22,597
Hey, guys, what's for dinner?
458
00:28:22,598 --> 00:28:25,598
You tell me, Michel
Roux-ining-our-food.
459
00:28:26,758 --> 00:28:28,357
I've given up on fine dining.
460
00:28:28,358 --> 00:28:31,597
From now on,
I'm all about fast food and snacks.
461
00:28:31,598 --> 00:28:34,117
Ah! Twiglets!
462
00:28:34,118 --> 00:28:36,518
No!
463
00:28:36,568 --> 00:28:41,118
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