Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,503 --> 00:00:14,570
Come on, it's just a word.
2
00:00:14,603 --> 00:00:16,402
Say it, already.
3
00:00:16,437 --> 00:00:17,537
Alright, you got this.
4
00:00:21,637 --> 00:00:26,969
I want your hot, throbbing...
5
00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:31,069
No. Gross.
6
00:00:31,103 --> 00:00:32,036
And painful.
7
00:00:32,069 --> 00:00:34,403
Who would ask for hot,
throbbing anything?
8
00:00:34,437 --> 00:00:36,103
Throbbing is what happens
to your finger
9
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,703
when you slam it
in the car door.
10
00:00:39,236 --> 00:00:40,570
I want it now.
11
00:00:40,603 --> 00:00:44,069
Your hot, throbbing...
12
00:00:47,403 --> 00:00:49,737
Ok.
13
00:00:51,637 --> 00:00:52,770
Give it to me.
14
00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:58,703
And by "it", I mean I want
your hot, throbbing... nope!
15
00:00:58,737 --> 00:00:59,537
No!
16
00:00:59,570 --> 00:01:01,537
Not at all convincing!
17
00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:03,069
God, Luce, it's a word.
18
00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:05,136
It's a word,
just say it already.
19
00:01:05,670 --> 00:01:06,670
Alright.
20
00:01:11,770 --> 00:01:15,335
I want your hot, throbbing...
21
00:01:17,403 --> 00:01:18,470
For the love of god!
22
00:01:18,503 --> 00:01:21,270
Cock! Cock! Cock!
23
00:01:21,302 --> 00:01:22,403
Cock! Cock!
24
00:01:22,437 --> 00:01:23,936
Cock!
25
00:01:28,503 --> 00:01:34,403
Oh... my friend has this
farm and there's this rooster.
26
00:01:34,437 --> 00:01:35,703
Troublemaker.
27
00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:41,203
Alright.
28
00:01:41,236 --> 00:01:45,969
Well, that is a... sentence
that's just never gonna happen.
29
00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:16,303
Wait, what's he doing
with his hand?
30
00:04:16,336 --> 00:04:18,069
That actually feels good.
31
00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:19,969
So that was an accident.
32
00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:22,036
You're so... good to me.
33
00:04:26,603 --> 00:04:27,437
Are we good?
34
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:28,103
Yeah.
35
00:04:28,136 --> 00:04:28,637
You like that?
36
00:04:28,670 --> 00:04:29,171
Ok. Good.
37
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:32,303
Ok, sexy thoughts.
38
00:04:32,336 --> 00:04:35,737
A cabana on a hot,
tropical beach.
39
00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:36,969
I'm getting a massage,
40
00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:42,336
which suddenly turns into
spontaneous, unbridled sex.
41
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,670
With Steve Carell.
42
00:04:43,703 --> 00:04:46,670
Only like in his newer movies,
with silver hair.
43
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,003
Yes!
44
00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:48,570
Yes!
45
00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:49,503
I'm coming!
46
00:04:49,537 --> 00:04:50,670
Yes!
47
00:04:50,703 --> 00:04:52,069
Wheat-free waffles!
48
00:04:52,103 --> 00:04:54,069
Did I just say that out loud?
49
00:04:55,537 --> 00:04:56,670
Sorry.
50
00:04:56,703 --> 00:04:57,703
Just a second.
51
00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:00,603
That was what I forgot
at the store.
52
00:05:00,637 --> 00:05:02,503
I couldn't remember all day.
53
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,570
No, no, no, no.
54
00:05:05,603 --> 00:05:06,271
It's good.
55
00:05:06,303 --> 00:05:08,703
My mind is completely free.
56
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:10,670
I'm ready now.
57
00:05:13,437 --> 00:05:16,670
Yeah... I don't think you are.
58
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,237
We should get a ceiling fan.
59
00:05:30,503 --> 00:05:32,036
What're you doing?
60
00:05:32,637 --> 00:05:34,537
No-don't mess up my lists.
61
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:35,503
Why?
62
00:05:35,537 --> 00:05:37,147
It's not like you ever finish
any of them.
63
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:37,969
That is not true.
64
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:39,370
Just because you're
angry, don't-
65
00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:40,204
Ok, look.
66
00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:42,104
Most women, during sex,
you know,
67
00:05:42,137 --> 00:05:44,271
they say things like...
68
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,003
I don't-like, "yes, yes,
give it to me good".
69
00:05:47,036 --> 00:05:50,303
Who says that?
70
00:05:50,336 --> 00:05:51,171
People.
71
00:05:51,204 --> 00:05:52,703
People who you know?
72
00:05:52,737 --> 00:05:54,603
You honestly want me
to yell out,
73
00:05:54,637 --> 00:05:56,570
"Yes, yes, give it to me good"?
74
00:05:56,603 --> 00:06:00,003
Well, it would be better
than "wheat-free waffles".
75
00:06:00,036 --> 00:06:03,070
Why don't you just admit
that you're not into sex?
76
00:06:03,104 --> 00:06:05,537
I'm so not not into sex.
77
00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:07,670
You didn't even take off
your pyjamas!
78
00:06:07,703 --> 00:06:10,003
Yeah, well, they're comfortable!
79
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,403
What're you doing?
80
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,703
You gotta be kidding me.
81
00:06:12,737 --> 00:06:15,670
I have work to do.
82
00:06:15,703 --> 00:06:16,370
I'm on a deadline.
83
00:06:16,403 --> 00:06:18,637
You work in the garage, alright?
84
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:21,171
Testing video games!
85
00:06:24,470 --> 00:06:26,070
Don't judge me.
86
00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:33,137
Sorry, Mr. Bach.
87
00:06:33,171 --> 00:06:38,936
I need something with
a little more spirit.
88
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,003
Great.
89
00:06:46,037 --> 00:06:47,336
Where is my cord?
90
00:07:11,603 --> 00:07:14,437
Oh my god, he's a regular.
91
00:07:18,603 --> 00:07:21,237
Don't stop!
92
00:07:21,271 --> 00:07:27,570
Oh my-oh my... that
is a lot of vagina.
93
00:07:27,603 --> 00:07:30,570
Yes, yes, give it to me good!
94
00:07:30,603 --> 00:07:34,470
Oh my god, did she really
just say that?
95
00:07:36,271 --> 00:07:37,970
Thank you, sweetie.
96
00:07:39,204 --> 00:07:40,104
I thought you were evolved.
97
00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:43,037
We met at a film festival,
for god's sake!
98
00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:44,171
What're you talking about?
99
00:07:44,204 --> 00:07:47,970
What I'm talking about is that.
100
00:07:48,004 --> 00:07:50,503
What is that?
101
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,104
I don't know, a girl?
102
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:53,004
No.
103
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,004
I'm a girl.
104
00:07:54,037 --> 00:07:55,403
That is a vixen.
105
00:07:55,437 --> 00:07:57,037
Whatever.
106
00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:58,204
Excuse me?
107
00:07:58,237 --> 00:07:59,570
What, I'm not enough?
108
00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:00,570
Look, ok, yeah.
109
00:08:00,603 --> 00:08:03,670
I'm sorry you're upset,
but you kinda have this,
110
00:08:03,703 --> 00:08:08,070
like, irrational fear of
intimacy or anything
111
00:08:08,104 --> 00:08:09,703
that can't be put on a list.
112
00:08:09,737 --> 00:08:12,104
You are talking sensuality to me
as you are sitting there
113
00:08:12,137 --> 00:08:14,403
hacking heads off?
114
00:08:14,437 --> 00:08:15,503
Oh, is this funny to you?
115
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,104
Really?
116
00:08:20,336 --> 00:08:22,437
Since when are you
a porn person?
117
00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:27,370
Well, I'm a guy,
so since always.
118
00:08:30,204 --> 00:08:31,637
Oh, see, that's bullshit.
119
00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:33,670
I just got killed
by crossfire again.
120
00:08:33,703 --> 00:08:35,537
How are you being so
nonchalant about this?
121
00:08:35,570 --> 00:08:36,470
In this day in age,
122
00:08:36,503 --> 00:08:38,171
when women are finally
standing up to men
123
00:08:38,204 --> 00:08:40,037
who use sex as a tool
of oppression, you're-
124
00:08:40,070 --> 00:08:42,403
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah!
125
00:08:42,437 --> 00:08:44,703
I'm not oppressing anyone, ok?
126
00:08:44,737 --> 00:08:48,537
They put it out there,
guys pay for it, and girls,
127
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,470
everyone's happy.
128
00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:53,503
Have... have you ever watched
a porn film?
129
00:08:53,537 --> 00:08:55,171
I think I just saw plenty,
130
00:08:55,204 --> 00:08:57,503
and I hardly think
that the word film applies,
131
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,437
not when it degrades
the entire female species.
132
00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:03,037
Yeah, see, I don't think so.
133
00:09:03,070 --> 00:09:05,104
I think it's just a business.
134
00:09:05,137 --> 00:09:06,137
Oh.
135
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,237
Oh, ok. I see.
136
00:09:07,271 --> 00:09:10,037
So it's just a collection of
highly-skilled workers
137
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:11,403
providing a service.
138
00:09:11,437 --> 00:09:12,503
Yeah, exactly.
139
00:09:12,537 --> 00:09:16,537
And the best are banking
millions and the rest are
140
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:22,537
compensated really well
for their... artistry.
141
00:09:22,570 --> 00:09:23,970
Artistry?
142
00:09:24,004 --> 00:09:25,403
Yeah.
143
00:09:25,437 --> 00:09:27,037
Mmmhmm. Yeah. Yes.
144
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:29,370
It's it's kinda like you
with your violin.
145
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,336
Right?
146
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,479
Is it so hard for you
to understand that,
147
00:09:31,503 --> 00:09:35,970
you know, this is how some
people express themselves?
148
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:38,403
What I can't believe is that
you are attempting
149
00:09:38,437 --> 00:09:43,370
to draw a parallel
between what I do and this.
150
00:09:43,403 --> 00:09:45,570
That's because
you're pornophobic.
151
00:09:45,603 --> 00:09:47,070
That's not even a word.
152
00:09:47,104 --> 00:09:49,004
You know, how uptight you are,
153
00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:51,570
it's kinda like your
whole life problem.
154
00:09:51,603 --> 00:09:53,370
No, even words are
too much for you.
155
00:09:53,403 --> 00:09:54,004
We're done.
156
00:09:54,037 --> 00:09:55,570
Wait, no, we're not done.
157
00:09:55,603 --> 00:09:56,503
Lucy.
158
00:09:56,537 --> 00:09:57,336
Come here.
159
00:09:57,370 --> 00:09:58,370
Jesus. Come on.
160
00:09:59,037 --> 00:09:59,537
Lucy, come back.
161
00:09:59,570 --> 00:10:00,470
Wait!
162
00:10:00,503 --> 00:10:03,104
Just try saying something racy.
163
00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:03,905
Like what?
164
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,570
Like, I don't know, like... use
165
00:10:06,603 --> 00:10:09,603
"hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
166
00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:11,204
Why would anyone do that?
167
00:10:11,237 --> 00:10:13,180
And by the way, since when
do we spy on each other?
168
00:10:13,204 --> 00:10:14,037
I mean, spying?
169
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:14,570
That's not cool.
170
00:10:14,603 --> 00:10:16,403
I wasn't spying!
171
00:10:16,437 --> 00:10:18,370
And I don't know
who you are any more.
172
00:10:18,403 --> 00:10:21,070
Yeah, well I don't know
you worse!
173
00:10:22,503 --> 00:10:25,271
Well, I'm not gonna compete
with all of that.
174
00:10:25,303 --> 00:10:28,037
So... so you need to decide.
175
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:30,403
It's me or the porn!
176
00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:34,171
Really?
177
00:10:34,204 --> 00:10:36,503
That's what you consider
an essential item?
178
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:38,670
He's autographed.
179
00:10:39,703 --> 00:10:41,204
Come on, bud.
180
00:10:41,237 --> 00:10:43,403
Don't-don't crease
and don't break.
181
00:10:43,437 --> 00:10:45,970
Alright, it's just
you and me now.
182
00:10:58,104 --> 00:11:00,037
I hope you get that stick
out of your ass!
183
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:01,171
Why?
184
00:11:01,204 --> 00:11:03,370
So you can use it on yourself?!
185
00:11:08,271 --> 00:11:09,070
Mr. Glassell.
186
00:11:09,104 --> 00:11:10,336
Good morning.
187
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,271
It was.
188
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,137
Where are you?
189
00:11:19,171 --> 00:11:19,670
You're late.
190
00:11:19,703 --> 00:11:20,670
You're never late.
191
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:21,470
I'm worried.
192
00:11:21,503 --> 00:11:23,303
Should I be worried?
193
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:32,237
I'm coming.
194
00:11:32,271 --> 00:11:33,370
Sorry.
195
00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:38,370
Ok, so sorry.
196
00:11:39,204 --> 00:11:40,403
Where have you been?
197
00:11:40,437 --> 00:11:42,004
The bride's about
to start trotting up.
198
00:11:42,037 --> 00:11:43,204
Sorry.
199
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,070
A bride on a horse.
200
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,271
What could go wrong?
201
00:11:47,037 --> 00:11:48,303
Play.
202
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,171
Hello there, Mr. Best Man.
203
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,247
Oh, no, that's actually
my friend Grant.
204
00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:22,204
I think he's just a groomsman.
205
00:12:25,303 --> 00:12:27,204
Matrimony.
206
00:12:28,771 --> 00:12:31,204
The commemoration of
an unshakable bond.
207
00:12:33,771 --> 00:12:35,537
Oh, dear me.
208
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:38,271
Oh my-oh my god.
209
00:12:38,303 --> 00:12:39,413
Yeah, no, this wedding
is awesome.
210
00:12:39,437 --> 00:12:40,757
That could not
have been the plan.
211
00:12:42,704 --> 00:12:43,738
Oh gosh.
212
00:12:46,303 --> 00:12:47,503
Is that horse poo?
213
00:12:47,537 --> 00:12:48,937
God, it smells.
214
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,537
Pretend it's not there.
215
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:55,570
Oh, she's gonna remember
this day, isn't she?
216
00:12:55,603 --> 00:12:57,437
You wanted the horse, ok?
217
00:12:57,470 --> 00:13:00,004
Well, if she cancels she still
has to pay us, right?
218
00:13:00,037 --> 00:13:01,680
Yes, especially because it was
Grant who referred us
219
00:13:01,704 --> 00:13:02,937
for the job.
220
00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,370
I just-I'm sorry, I can't get
over how he is so good-looking
221
00:13:05,403 --> 00:13:07,104
and you never told me about him.
222
00:13:07,137 --> 00:13:08,403
You don't date actual adults.
223
00:13:08,437 --> 00:13:09,370
Kale?
224
00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:10,570
He's an adult.
225
00:13:10,603 --> 00:13:12,570
He picks you up on a skateboard.
226
00:13:12,603 --> 00:13:13,437
It's ok, everyone.
227
00:13:13,470 --> 00:13:14,470
I'm ok.
228
00:13:14,738 --> 00:13:16,303
Why are you giving my dude
such a hard
229
00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:17,237
time when this one over here,
230
00:13:17,271 --> 00:13:20,137
she's sleeping on Captain
America sheets.
231
00:13:21,271 --> 00:13:22,104
Lucy, are you alright?
232
00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:22,638
Are you crying?
233
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:23,570
I was just kidding.
234
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:26,470
Yeah, it was just a joke
about the sheets.
235
00:13:26,771 --> 00:13:28,271
Jeff left me.
236
00:13:29,104 --> 00:13:30,537
He moved out.
237
00:13:31,437 --> 00:13:33,237
Are you ok?
238
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,204
I'm so sorry, Luce,
that's terrible.
239
00:13:43,204 --> 00:13:44,570
Ok, now.
240
00:13:44,604 --> 00:13:45,537
Where were we?
241
00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,204
We're going to get married now.
242
00:13:47,237 --> 00:13:49,037
Yeah.
243
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,537
I don't know,
it's all such a blur.
244
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:00,437
Actually, no.
245
00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:02,171
It started while
we were having sex, and-
246
00:14:02,204 --> 00:14:03,738
Ok.
247
00:14:03,771 --> 00:14:06,303
Is that why you guys fought?
248
00:14:06,336 --> 00:14:09,303
I remembered an item
off of my grocery list, so-
249
00:14:09,336 --> 00:14:10,970
Oh, honey.
250
00:14:11,004 --> 00:14:13,137
How do you expect to survive
marriage week after week,
251
00:14:13,171 --> 00:14:14,336
year after year?
252
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:19,403
Sex with the same person in
the same order for 27 years.
253
00:14:19,437 --> 00:14:21,547
Well, until you find yourself
one day dressing up for the guy
254
00:14:21,571 --> 00:14:23,537
who sprays for bugs.
255
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,403
Well, how do you expect
to survive all that
256
00:14:25,437 --> 00:14:26,604
if you can't focus now?
257
00:14:26,638 --> 00:14:31,336
I might have focus issues
but he is into porn, alright?
258
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,303
It's disgusting!
259
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:35,204
It was all over his computer,
he is totally-
260
00:14:35,237 --> 00:14:36,503
A man?
261
00:14:36,537 --> 00:14:39,237
All men look at dirty pictures,
married or not.
262
00:14:39,271 --> 00:14:41,237
It's-it's how they maintain
their vigour.
263
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,070
Right, Paul?
264
00:14:42,104 --> 00:14:43,137
Well, it's-
265
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:45,271
When men start declining
sexually by the age of 18.
266
00:14:45,303 --> 00:14:47,271
Once they hit 30
it's a ski slope.
267
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,970
I beg your pardon.
268
00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:50,403
Except for Paul.
269
00:14:50,437 --> 00:14:52,104
Who is, I'm sure,
a sexual wonder.
270
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:53,980
Didn't your girlfriend leave
you for a woman, though?
271
00:14:54,004 --> 00:14:54,805
Ok, easy.
272
00:14:54,838 --> 00:14:56,437
Wait, does this mean
you have porn?
273
00:14:57,037 --> 00:14:58,271
And go to strip clubs?
274
00:14:58,303 --> 00:14:59,271
No, I do not go to strip clubs.
275
00:14:59,303 --> 00:15:00,271
Ever?
276
00:15:00,303 --> 00:15:01,543
I have, but it's not like I do.
277
00:15:01,571 --> 00:15:03,137
Do you use the internet?
278
00:15:03,171 --> 00:15:03,704
Define "use".
279
00:15:03,738 --> 00:15:04,538
What about prostitutes?
280
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,614
No, not the ones
who do it for crack.
281
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,137
I mean like the ones you go
to that thing in Vegas
282
00:15:08,171 --> 00:15:09,171
that I've seen on HBO.
283
00:15:09,204 --> 00:15:10,104
Do you know what? I'm out.
284
00:15:10,137 --> 00:15:10,970
I knew it.
285
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,137
Hello.
286
00:15:12,171 --> 00:15:13,538
Ask me about sex.
287
00:15:13,571 --> 00:15:15,171
I'm right here.
288
00:15:15,204 --> 00:15:16,104
No.
289
00:15:16,137 --> 00:15:17,446
Your enthusiasm is really
un-relatable.
290
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:18,303
Oh, come on.
291
00:15:18,336 --> 00:15:20,237
I got this whole library
of cliterature.
292
00:15:20,271 --> 00:15:20,970
You can just-
293
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,204
What?
294
00:15:22,237 --> 00:15:25,004
Books you diddle to, babe.
295
00:15:25,037 --> 00:15:25,905
Please, girl.
296
00:15:25,937 --> 00:15:28,137
Tell me that you masturbate,
at least.
297
00:15:29,171 --> 00:15:30,171
No.
298
00:15:30,204 --> 00:15:32,004
This is not about me, alright?
299
00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:33,470
This is about my
boyfriend leaving
300
00:15:33,504 --> 00:15:36,638
because I think being a pervert
is really inappropriate.
301
00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:43,037
I also have blindfolds,
handcuffs, vibrators...
302
00:15:45,104 --> 00:15:46,204
Priscilla has them, too!
303
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,271
Oh, the buzz buzz,
not the rest of it.
304
00:15:48,303 --> 00:15:49,204
You do?
305
00:15:49,237 --> 00:15:50,204
It's called a personal massager.
306
00:15:50,237 --> 00:15:51,538
I got it at Brookestone.
307
00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:53,370
Really?
308
00:15:53,403 --> 00:15:54,370
Oh.
309
00:15:54,403 --> 00:15:58,171
Well... but you have Stanley.
310
00:15:58,204 --> 00:16:00,471
Vibrators are necessary,
my dear.
311
00:16:00,504 --> 00:16:02,403
Because life is short
312
00:16:02,437 --> 00:16:05,671
and explaining things
to men is long.
313
00:16:26,471 --> 00:16:28,604
Sex to do list.
314
00:16:28,638 --> 00:16:32,104
Number one. Watch 25 porn films.
315
00:16:32,137 --> 00:16:35,438
Number two. Go to a sex store.
316
00:16:35,471 --> 00:16:38,303
Number three. Read cliterature.
317
00:16:38,336 --> 00:16:40,538
Number four. Visit strip club.
318
00:16:40,571 --> 00:16:42,137
Number five. Sex toy party.
319
00:16:42,171 --> 00:16:43,704
Number six. Sex seminar.
320
00:16:43,738 --> 00:16:45,237
Number seven. Test vibrators.
321
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,471
Number eight. Internet porn,
view some.
322
00:16:47,504 --> 00:16:49,638
Number nine.
Consult a sex expert.
323
00:16:49,671 --> 00:16:51,438
Number 10. Brothel, visit.
324
00:16:51,471 --> 00:16:54,004
Number 11. Meet a porn star.
325
00:16:54,037 --> 00:16:55,237
Number 12...
326
00:16:55,271 --> 00:16:59,137
Use "hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
327
00:16:59,171 --> 00:17:00,504
There.
328
00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:05,070
And I can even check
the last one off right now.
329
00:17:11,336 --> 00:17:13,638
For the love of god, cock!
330
00:17:13,671 --> 00:17:16,137
Cock! Cock! Cock!
331
00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:17,571
Cock! Cock.
332
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,171
I want your cock!
333
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:22,070
Well done.
334
00:17:23,137 --> 00:17:24,237
Cock.
335
00:17:41,438 --> 00:17:42,937
God!
336
00:17:46,504 --> 00:17:48,004
Woah!
337
00:17:48,037 --> 00:17:50,738
Oh, Grant, you gotta go
check out the ballroom, man.
338
00:17:50,771 --> 00:17:52,471
The bridal party's twerkin'.
339
00:17:54,137 --> 00:17:54,571
Woah.
340
00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:55,204
You're kidding.
341
00:17:55,237 --> 00:17:56,438
Ah, ah!
342
00:18:01,638 --> 00:18:03,336
Oh my god, are you serious?
343
00:18:04,303 --> 00:18:05,271
Hello?
344
00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:07,137
I can't believe you
would do this to me.
345
00:18:07,171 --> 00:18:07,738
What, Jeff?
346
00:18:07,771 --> 00:18:09,538
I'm not enough for you?
347
00:18:14,371 --> 00:18:15,704
Everything alright in there?
348
00:18:17,004 --> 00:18:18,538
Coming in.
349
00:18:26,704 --> 00:18:27,404
You alright, love?
350
00:18:27,438 --> 00:18:29,137
You want me to get the doctor?
351
00:18:30,204 --> 00:18:30,970
What?
352
00:18:31,004 --> 00:18:32,037
Why-no.
353
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,037
What, because I'm on the floor?
354
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:33,970
No.
355
00:18:34,004 --> 00:18:34,970
No.
356
00:18:35,004 --> 00:18:36,004
No, no, no.
357
00:18:36,037 --> 00:18:37,037
I'm just medicating.
358
00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:38,004
Tating.
359
00:18:38,037 --> 00:18:40,404
Meditating.
360
00:18:40,438 --> 00:18:42,638
I just heard crying or yelling.
361
00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:43,638
Chanting.
362
00:18:43,671 --> 00:18:44,404
Chanting?
363
00:18:44,438 --> 00:18:45,337
Yeah.
364
00:18:45,371 --> 00:18:47,371
Yeah?
365
00:18:47,404 --> 00:18:49,013
Just coming to check to make
sure everything's fine?
366
00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:50,271
Yeah.
367
00:18:50,304 --> 00:18:53,104
No, I always do like a little
chant for the gride and broom.
368
00:18:53,137 --> 00:18:56,004
Before the first dance.
369
00:18:56,037 --> 00:18:58,970
How do you mean?
370
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:02,070
Oh, you know, like a chant.
371
00:19:02,104 --> 00:19:04,371
Yeah, no, I don't.
372
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,037
Yeah, just sort of...
373
00:19:06,871 --> 00:19:14,871
Close my eyes and go
374
00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:20,671
Chanting...
375
00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:22,538
Which obviously means something.
376
00:19:22,571 --> 00:19:23,337
Unity.
377
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:24,304
Yeah.
378
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:29,104
Yeah. It means unity
in that they're now one.
379
00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:31,272
And yet they're two.
380
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,970
So, really it's about being
strong enough
381
00:19:35,004 --> 00:19:39,337
to make one one out of two ones.
382
00:19:39,371 --> 00:19:41,538
And yet still be two.
383
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:42,371
Yeah.
384
00:19:42,404 --> 00:19:44,204
Makes sense.
385
00:19:44,237 --> 00:19:46,237
Totally get it.
386
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:47,137
You do?
387
00:19:47,171 --> 00:19:48,404
Yeah.
388
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:51,638
It's... like a building.
389
00:19:51,671 --> 00:19:53,504
It's only as strong
as its weakest pillar.
390
00:19:53,538 --> 00:19:55,471
Yeah, but is that true?
391
00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:58,070
Because it seems to me that
if you have enough pillars,
392
00:19:58,104 --> 00:20:00,004
like say you're the Acropolis,
393
00:20:00,037 --> 00:20:03,571
I think you could get away
with one crappy pillar.
394
00:20:03,604 --> 00:20:04,671
Sure.
395
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:10,272
Except for earthquakes,
hurricanes, strong winds...
396
00:20:10,304 --> 00:20:11,104
Aliens.
397
00:20:11,137 --> 00:20:13,004
Well, we can't do much
about that.
398
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:15,004
But you make a good point.
399
00:20:15,037 --> 00:20:17,204
One in which I happen
to believe in.
400
00:20:18,272 --> 00:20:20,704
What-what point is that?
401
00:20:20,738 --> 00:20:23,970
Well, you can't be useful
in a two
402
00:20:24,004 --> 00:20:26,970
until you figure yourself
out as a one.
403
00:20:30,738 --> 00:20:32,004
Cocktail?
404
00:20:32,037 --> 00:20:33,638
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
405
00:20:33,671 --> 00:20:34,970
Well, here's to me.
406
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:36,371
That was brilliant.
407
00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:37,272
But you're right.
408
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:38,638
No time for cocktails.
409
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:46,304
The two ones must waltz
so this one one must play.
410
00:20:46,337 --> 00:20:47,438
Ok.
411
00:20:51,738 --> 00:20:52,970
Alrighty.
412
00:20:54,272 --> 00:20:56,337
Don't you need this?
413
00:20:57,771 --> 00:21:00,404
Or you chant the waltz, too?
414
00:21:00,438 --> 00:21:02,238
Sometimes.
415
00:21:16,471 --> 00:21:18,004
I'm not pornophobic.
416
00:21:22,272 --> 00:21:23,738
All men look at dirty pictures.
417
00:21:23,771 --> 00:21:26,970
Oh, Jeff.
418
00:21:27,004 --> 00:21:29,337
Yes, yes, give it to me good.
419
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,638
You're pornophobic.
420
00:21:31,671 --> 00:21:35,272
I cannot drink her blood,
she's pornophobic.
421
00:21:35,304 --> 00:21:36,504
Am I not enough?
422
00:21:36,538 --> 00:21:39,304
Looks like she's suffering
from stage four pornophobia.
423
00:21:39,337 --> 00:21:41,638
Say something racy.
424
00:21:41,671 --> 00:21:43,138
It's a word.
425
00:21:43,172 --> 00:21:44,504
Just say it already.
426
00:21:44,538 --> 00:21:45,738
Pornophobic.
427
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:46,738
Jeff left me.
428
00:21:46,771 --> 00:21:48,471
Pornophobic.
429
00:21:48,504 --> 00:21:51,671
Today we gather here
to remember Lucy Neal,
430
00:21:51,704 --> 00:21:55,970
who died alone from pornophobia.
431
00:21:56,004 --> 00:21:59,371
She died in the house she
inherited from her grandmother
432
00:21:59,404 --> 00:22:03,571
that she was only able to
fill with unfinished lists,
433
00:22:03,604 --> 00:22:04,671
not love.
434
00:22:04,704 --> 00:22:06,604
You're pornophobic!
435
00:22:25,538 --> 00:22:26,538
Ok.
436
00:22:32,771 --> 00:22:35,105
Sexpressions of Lust?
437
00:22:35,138 --> 00:22:36,538
Please.
438
00:22:42,272 --> 00:22:45,205
Madame Mischief's
Boudoir Secrets.
439
00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:47,272
Maybe it's a historical fiction?
440
00:22:47,304 --> 00:22:49,471
And who doesn't like secrets?
441
00:22:50,138 --> 00:22:52,638
Better get one more for back-up.
442
00:22:53,771 --> 00:22:56,304
Bad Sally.
443
00:22:56,337 --> 00:22:58,205
That can't be right.
444
00:23:32,004 --> 00:23:33,304
Oh god.
445
00:23:50,704 --> 00:23:52,471
Faylene springs from the house
446
00:23:52,504 --> 00:23:55,138
as Michele passionately
gives chase.
447
00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:57,304
Running for her life, Michele
grabs Faylene's wrist
448
00:23:57,337 --> 00:24:02,571
and twirls her until he backs
her into an erect pillar.
449
00:24:02,604 --> 00:24:04,504
He could almost taste
her ruby lips
450
00:24:04,538 --> 00:24:09,538
but Faylene thrusts her knee
into Michele, spins him around.
451
00:24:09,571 --> 00:24:10,571
Seizing the moment,
452
00:24:10,604 --> 00:24:12,214
Faylene pulls out a hidden
pistol sheathed
453
00:24:12,238 --> 00:24:15,438
on her thigh and pulls it
up to his chin.
454
00:24:17,471 --> 00:24:19,105
And then stops.
455
00:24:26,438 --> 00:24:28,538
Michele takes one strong finger
456
00:24:28,571 --> 00:24:30,504
and slowly drags
the pistol downwards.
457
00:24:30,538 --> 00:24:32,480
Faylene watches in wonder
as the cold steel surrenders
458
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:34,937
to its final destination.
459
00:24:35,404 --> 00:24:36,937
Michele's manhood.
460
00:24:38,005 --> 00:24:42,172
Michele walks his finger across
the barrel and cocks the gun.
461
00:24:42,205 --> 00:24:45,538
Faylene knows what she wants
and she decides to take it.
462
00:25:13,138 --> 00:25:14,504
Salt shaker is done.
463
00:25:14,538 --> 00:25:16,504
I can check that off my list.
464
00:25:27,438 --> 00:25:29,438
Hello.
465
00:25:29,471 --> 00:25:33,571
We have chocolate,
mimosas, tissues, sympathy.
466
00:25:33,604 --> 00:25:35,138
Wait, why do you look so good?
467
00:25:35,172 --> 00:25:36,404
Where did you get those jeans?
468
00:25:36,438 --> 00:25:37,038
No reason.
469
00:25:37,071 --> 00:25:37,704
Nowhere.
470
00:25:37,738 --> 00:25:39,604
And pity's not why I called.
471
00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:41,371
I told you we need
When Harry Met Sally.
472
00:25:41,404 --> 00:25:42,238
Mmmhmm.
473
00:25:42,272 --> 00:25:43,480
You do chocolates,
I'm on cocktails.
474
00:25:43,504 --> 00:25:44,538
No, really.
475
00:25:44,571 --> 00:25:46,038
I'm fine.
476
00:25:46,071 --> 00:25:47,005
I am.
477
00:25:47,038 --> 00:25:48,547
For, I have renewed life purpose
in the form
478
00:25:48,571 --> 00:25:51,272
of a research project
with which I need your help.
479
00:25:52,304 --> 00:25:53,172
She said research.
480
00:25:53,205 --> 00:25:54,538
She called me for research.
481
00:25:54,571 --> 00:25:55,571
You're losing it.
482
00:25:57,371 --> 00:26:00,538
We're doing number two and the
train is leaving in one minute.
483
00:26:03,038 --> 00:26:06,138
Guys, do you think
I'm gonna need this?
484
00:26:07,504 --> 00:26:09,105
Best break-up ever.
485
00:26:09,138 --> 00:26:10,638
Oh god.
486
00:26:20,337 --> 00:26:24,638
This is your Nissan Leaf,
this is your Mercedes C Class,
487
00:26:24,671 --> 00:26:30,704
and this is the Maserati
of vibrators.
488
00:26:30,738 --> 00:26:35,538
A serious piece of equipment for
only the most experienced user.
489
00:26:36,038 --> 00:26:37,105
Oh.
490
00:26:37,138 --> 00:26:38,971
Sold.
491
00:26:39,971 --> 00:26:43,371
Using it could desensitize
you to men forever.
492
00:26:43,671 --> 00:26:45,138
I'll take one.
493
00:26:52,671 --> 00:26:53,538
Luce!
494
00:26:53,571 --> 00:26:55,604
I found something for
495
00:26:56,337 --> 00:26:58,438
He doesn't say
irritating things,
496
00:26:58,471 --> 00:27:02,138
he's a feminist, doesn't watch
football, or fart.
497
00:27:02,172 --> 00:27:04,438
Well, none of them do at first.
498
00:27:13,238 --> 00:27:17,138
Can I help you
with that cock ring?
499
00:27:17,172 --> 00:27:18,138
No.
500
00:27:18,172 --> 00:27:19,138
No, I got this.
501
00:27:19,172 --> 00:27:20,671
I was just checking...
502
00:27:21,571 --> 00:27:22,971
Sure.
503
00:27:29,638 --> 00:27:31,371
Everything alright over there?
504
00:27:31,839 --> 00:27:36,371
Sorry, just... looking for...
505
00:27:38,138 --> 00:27:39,604
for a Mother's Day gift.
506
00:27:39,638 --> 00:27:40,738
Oh.
507
00:27:40,772 --> 00:27:42,647
You know, I was wondering
what a nice girl like you
508
00:27:42,671 --> 00:27:44,438
was doing in a place like this.
509
00:27:44,471 --> 00:27:47,071
I could ask you the same thing.
510
00:27:47,105 --> 00:27:48,538
Go ahead.
511
00:27:50,772 --> 00:27:54,671
What's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like this?
512
00:27:55,337 --> 00:27:56,337
Oh...
513
00:27:59,371 --> 00:28:00,304
Oh!
514
00:28:00,337 --> 00:28:01,238
Busy day you got there.
515
00:28:01,272 --> 00:28:02,071
Oh-
516
00:28:02,105 --> 00:28:03,114
It's amazing you have the time
517
00:28:03,138 --> 00:28:07,604
with all the violin playing
and the chanting.
518
00:28:07,638 --> 00:28:09,038
Of course you remember me.
519
00:28:09,071 --> 00:28:11,038
It's not every day I run
into a beautiful girl
520
00:28:11,071 --> 00:28:14,304
with such a propensity
for crouching.
521
00:28:15,205 --> 00:28:18,438
Did he actually just use
the word "propensity"?
522
00:28:21,005 --> 00:28:22,371
Oh
523
00:28:23,172 --> 00:28:24,638
Adopted this puppy.
524
00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,337
And breakfast is ready.
525
00:28:28,504 --> 00:28:30,404
And the dishes are done.
526
00:28:31,739 --> 00:28:34,238
You're the best man
from the wedding
527
00:28:34,272 --> 00:28:35,571
with the pooping horse?
528
00:28:35,604 --> 00:28:38,138
Oh, yeah, I was just
a groomsman.
529
00:28:38,172 --> 00:28:40,105
Oh, well, I'm Nessa.
530
00:28:40,138 --> 00:28:41,571
I was a part of the quartet.
531
00:28:41,604 --> 00:28:43,404
Oh, yeah. You guys were great.
532
00:28:43,438 --> 00:28:45,071
Thank you.
533
00:28:45,105 --> 00:28:46,705
I play the cello.
534
00:28:46,739 --> 00:28:47,739
Yeah.
535
00:28:47,772 --> 00:28:50,238
It's, you know, the big one
between your legs?
536
00:28:50,272 --> 00:28:53,138
Lucy over here,
she plays the violin.
537
00:28:53,172 --> 00:28:55,371
So it's Lucy, is it?
538
00:28:55,404 --> 00:28:57,571
So fancy meeting you here.
539
00:28:57,604 --> 00:29:00,071
What're you doing?
540
00:29:00,105 --> 00:29:02,205
Oh yeah, good question.
541
00:29:02,238 --> 00:29:03,971
I'm looking for a Mother's
Day gift.
542
00:29:04,005 --> 00:29:06,005
Oh, really?
543
00:29:06,038 --> 00:29:07,304
Me too.
544
00:29:07,337 --> 00:29:11,071
I mean, I would never be here
for myself.
545
00:29:12,272 --> 00:29:13,705
Or would I?
546
00:29:13,739 --> 00:29:14,971
Nessa.
547
00:29:15,005 --> 00:29:18,005
I'm actually an architect.
548
00:29:18,038 --> 00:29:19,272
Paul Goodwin works at my firm.
549
00:29:19,304 --> 00:29:20,504
Right.
550
00:29:20,538 --> 00:29:24,371
Yeah, I vaguely remember him
mentioning something like that.
551
00:29:24,404 --> 00:29:26,272
I'm ah, working on
a job upstairs
552
00:29:26,304 --> 00:29:27,571
to reconfigure the office space.
553
00:29:27,604 --> 00:29:28,806
Oh.
554
00:29:28,839 --> 00:29:30,580
Not nearly as interesting as
what's going on on that list.
555
00:29:30,604 --> 00:29:31,404
Oh, no.
556
00:29:31,438 --> 00:29:35,304
This is purely a
research project.
557
00:29:35,337 --> 00:29:36,172
Yeah, honestly I can't help it.
558
00:29:36,205 --> 00:29:41,172
I went to Harvard
so I'm research-y.
559
00:29:41,205 --> 00:29:42,214
Actually, that's where
I met Paul.
560
00:29:42,238 --> 00:29:43,337
Really?
561
00:29:43,371 --> 00:29:46,272
You're using the H-bomb
on the best man?
562
00:29:46,304 --> 00:29:47,071
I just can't.
563
00:29:47,105 --> 00:29:48,071
I'm gonna go talk to Priscilla.
564
00:29:48,105 --> 00:29:50,272
And what? the hell is up
with your lips, girl?
565
00:29:53,538 --> 00:29:55,371
I'm Grant.
566
00:29:55,404 --> 00:29:56,971
Who works here?
567
00:29:57,471 --> 00:29:59,172
Did I hear you say you
work here?
568
00:30:00,571 --> 00:30:02,571
Why, yes he does.
569
00:30:04,238 --> 00:30:06,304
So does she.
570
00:30:06,337 --> 00:30:08,705
I just wanna find out
if this works.
571
00:30:09,138 --> 00:30:13,272
Actually, sir, I am very
familiar with this product.
572
00:30:13,304 --> 00:30:15,205
It's one of my favourites.
573
00:30:15,238 --> 00:30:18,105
In fact, I've got it on
right now.
574
00:30:18,471 --> 00:30:20,238
What do you mean,
you're wearing it now?
575
00:30:20,272 --> 00:30:21,672
On what?
576
00:30:21,705 --> 00:30:23,337
On my lips.
577
00:30:23,371 --> 00:30:24,571
You put it on your lips?
578
00:30:24,605 --> 00:30:29,438
Luce, I don't think you put
erection cream on your lips.
579
00:30:30,138 --> 00:30:31,304
Oh my god.
580
00:30:33,005 --> 00:30:34,138
Oh.
581
00:30:34,672 --> 00:30:36,205
Excuse me?
582
00:30:36,238 --> 00:30:38,404
Do these come in extra large?
583
00:30:43,038 --> 00:30:46,038
Got you some ice from the cafe.
584
00:30:46,071 --> 00:30:47,371
Thanks.
585
00:30:49,304 --> 00:30:55,172
Yeah, I thought your lips
looked a little...
586
00:30:55,205 --> 00:30:57,272
You got a chant for
this sort of thing?
587
00:30:58,438 --> 00:30:59,639
Woah.
588
00:31:02,772 --> 00:31:04,371
Can I have your number?
589
00:31:05,172 --> 00:31:06,272
You want my number?
590
00:31:06,304 --> 00:31:07,605
Yeah.
591
00:31:09,471 --> 00:31:10,705
Wait, really?
592
00:31:10,739 --> 00:31:13,272
I have a gig you might
be interested in playing.
593
00:31:14,071 --> 00:31:15,471
That's awesome.
594
00:31:16,138 --> 00:31:19,105
I'll I'll wait out here.
595
00:31:23,672 --> 00:31:24,705
Bye.
596
00:31:43,304 --> 00:31:46,304
So his dad co-chairs this annual
insurance commissioner's dinner
597
00:31:46,337 --> 00:31:48,238
and he wants you and me
to walk around
598
00:31:48,272 --> 00:31:50,172
and do the wandering
minstrel thing.
599
00:31:50,205 --> 00:31:51,572
First the wedding and now this?
600
00:31:51,605 --> 00:31:53,071
Is he your new booking agent?
601
00:31:53,105 --> 00:31:55,038
Excuse me, why not all of us?
602
00:31:55,071 --> 00:31:58,038
I don't know, but you did
make it a point to tell him
603
00:31:58,071 --> 00:32:00,031
that your legs are pretty
occupied while you play.
604
00:32:00,672 --> 00:32:01,572
Will he be there?
605
00:32:01,605 --> 00:32:03,005
He didn't say.
606
00:32:03,038 --> 00:32:06,071
So, with the exception
of the H-bomb incident,
607
00:32:06,105 --> 00:32:08,071
and putting erection cream
on your lips,
608
00:32:08,105 --> 00:32:09,639
I'd say this was
very successful.
609
00:32:09,672 --> 00:32:12,205
You had a nice conversation
with a handsome man,
610
00:32:12,238 --> 00:32:16,739
we got a gig out of nowhere,
and you got Burt.
611
00:33:16,138 --> 00:33:18,639
You know, after one week of
being broken up with Jeff
612
00:33:18,672 --> 00:33:24,005
after four years of dating and I
cannot believe how great I feel.
613
00:33:24,038 --> 00:33:27,304
Well, what I can't believe is
that we're actually doing this.
614
00:33:27,337 --> 00:33:30,304
Alright, Jersey, how we doin'?
615
00:33:30,337 --> 00:33:32,439
All six of you.
616
00:33:32,472 --> 00:33:33,615
Alright, first thing's first.
617
00:33:33,639 --> 00:33:34,572
I'm gonna go grab us
some drinks.
618
00:33:34,605 --> 00:33:38,005
Alright, now for the sexiest
identical twins
619
00:33:38,038 --> 00:33:40,138
with the hottest dance moves.
620
00:33:40,172 --> 00:33:43,172
Everybody give it up
for Cherry and
621
00:33:43,205 --> 00:33:45,971
♪ ...Dallas. ♪
622
00:33:46,272 --> 00:33:47,272
Dallas!
623
00:33:51,472 --> 00:33:53,605
Wes, can I trouble you
for two beers, mate?
624
00:33:53,639 --> 00:33:54,648
Pretend like you don't know me.
625
00:33:54,672 --> 00:33:56,071
Brilliant.
626
00:33:57,138 --> 00:33:58,405
Did he say Cherry and Dallas?
627
00:33:58,439 --> 00:34:01,005
You know, this is not
what I expected.
628
00:34:01,472 --> 00:34:02,337
Why?
629
00:34:02,371 --> 00:34:03,648
Are you afraid I'm gonna
wake them up?
630
00:34:03,672 --> 00:34:04,672
Oh, come on.
631
00:34:04,705 --> 00:34:06,672
They're performers and
you're talking over them.
632
00:34:06,705 --> 00:34:07,971
Don't be rude.
633
00:34:08,005 --> 00:34:09,038
It's disrespectful.
634
00:34:09,071 --> 00:34:09,639
I'm just saying.
635
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:10,337
Cynthia.
636
00:34:10,371 --> 00:34:11,472
Loving the hair.
637
00:34:11,505 --> 00:34:12,572
How are you doing tonight?
638
00:34:13,337 --> 00:34:14,038
Thank you.
639
00:34:14,071 --> 00:34:15,248
Oh, it's a little cold in here.
640
00:34:15,272 --> 00:34:15,938
Can I-
641
00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:16,639
Actually, we're totally fine.
642
00:34:16,672 --> 00:34:18,005
Why don't you keep the change?
643
00:34:18,038 --> 00:34:18,705
You know what?
644
00:34:18,739 --> 00:34:19,705
Throw that in for good measure.
645
00:34:19,739 --> 00:34:21,172
Don't embarrass me.
646
00:34:21,205 --> 00:34:23,304
Embarrassment's the least
of your problems.
647
00:34:23,337 --> 00:34:25,005
Ok, I need to level with you.
648
00:34:25,038 --> 00:34:26,272
It's not cold in here.
649
00:34:26,304 --> 00:34:27,337
It's optimal.
650
00:34:27,372 --> 00:34:29,071
Get with the program.
651
00:34:30,672 --> 00:34:32,038
Where are you going?
652
00:34:32,304 --> 00:34:33,539
Getting with the program.
653
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:34,572
Don't do that!
654
00:34:34,605 --> 00:34:36,238
Lucy, come back, please.
655
00:34:38,138 --> 00:34:39,548
Your wife didn't send me here
to spy on you,
656
00:34:39,572 --> 00:34:40,739
I promise.
657
00:34:40,772 --> 00:34:42,071
Don't worry.
658
00:34:49,005 --> 00:34:52,938
I wonder how these girls stay
in such good shape.
659
00:34:54,038 --> 00:34:55,005
Quick question for you.
660
00:34:55,038 --> 00:34:59,372
Do you do pilates or... oh.
661
00:35:01,572 --> 00:35:04,172
Oh, nice, Luce.
662
00:35:04,205 --> 00:35:05,938
Thank you so much.
663
00:35:16,705 --> 00:35:18,005
Wait a second.
664
00:35:20,005 --> 00:35:22,639
She is totally thinking
about her shopping list.
665
00:35:22,672 --> 00:35:24,038
Ha!
666
00:35:26,772 --> 00:35:28,172
Woo!
667
00:35:57,138 --> 00:35:58,138
Oh.
668
00:36:00,672 --> 00:36:01,672
Ok.
669
00:36:10,639 --> 00:36:13,273
I'm just gonna see what-
670
00:36:13,305 --> 00:36:14,205
She's trying to take my money!
671
00:36:14,238 --> 00:36:16,205
No, I can't make change?
672
00:36:17,071 --> 00:36:18,138
No, you did not.
673
00:36:18,172 --> 00:36:19,472
What were you thinking?
674
00:36:19,505 --> 00:36:21,705
As pleasing as her
vagina thrusts were,
675
00:36:21,739 --> 00:36:23,971
it just-it was not
a $20 kind of happy.
676
00:36:24,005 --> 00:36:26,338
Welcome to the Pleasure
Palace Party.
677
00:36:26,372 --> 00:36:29,105
We got the dildos,
we got the vibrators,
678
00:36:29,138 --> 00:36:32,472
so look around, don't be shy.
679
00:36:32,505 --> 00:36:35,038
If you wanna get to the top
of the mountain
680
00:36:35,071 --> 00:36:36,672
you gotta go equipped.
681
00:36:36,705 --> 00:36:38,005
Oh.
682
00:36:39,005 --> 00:36:42,273
I did learn one very important
thing at the strip club.
683
00:36:42,305 --> 00:36:44,205
If naked enough it
doesn't matter
684
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:45,672
if you can actually dance.
685
00:36:45,705 --> 00:36:47,971
Oh, I know what these are.
686
00:36:48,005 --> 00:36:49,639
People use these for meditating.
687
00:36:50,172 --> 00:36:52,672
No, those are Ben-Wa balls.
688
00:36:52,705 --> 00:36:54,305
50 Shades?
689
00:36:54,338 --> 00:36:55,305
Book two?
690
00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:56,971
Ben who?
691
00:36:57,505 --> 00:37:00,239
You take two of those,
you stick 'em up your lady,
692
00:37:00,273 --> 00:37:03,971
and just hold them for
a couple of hours, ok?
693
00:37:04,672 --> 00:37:06,172
Wait, what?
694
00:37:06,206 --> 00:37:06,872
Oh my god.
695
00:37:06,906 --> 00:37:08,672
Those are for Kegel exercises.
696
00:37:08,705 --> 00:37:10,971
You could do 'em in the car.
697
00:37:11,439 --> 00:37:13,639
I'm doing them right now.
698
00:37:13,672 --> 00:37:16,672
Experience intense natural
pleasure as each weighted ball
699
00:37:16,705 --> 00:37:18,472
rolls and moves with you
to give you
700
00:37:18,505 --> 00:37:22,206
a mind-blowing internal massage.
701
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:27,639
Now, you're gonna sculpt
a banana into a penis
702
00:37:27,672 --> 00:37:29,605
with your teeth.
703
00:37:33,105 --> 00:37:34,038
Catch that!
704
00:37:34,071 --> 00:37:36,138
Oh yeah, get that banana.
705
00:37:36,173 --> 00:37:39,138
Well, I'll never look at a
banana the same way again.
706
00:37:39,539 --> 00:37:41,138
And neither will Paul.
707
00:37:41,405 --> 00:37:42,672
Sex toy party.
708
00:37:42,705 --> 00:37:43,705
Check.
709
00:38:04,505 --> 00:38:05,672
Wait, why'd you stop?
710
00:38:05,705 --> 00:38:08,305
Nothing.
711
00:38:08,338 --> 00:38:09,405
Nothing.
712
00:38:09,439 --> 00:38:12,672
I think I just... I really need
to go to the bathroom.
713
00:38:12,705 --> 00:38:13,572
Oh my, well go!
714
00:38:13,605 --> 00:38:15,439
It's right down there.
715
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,672
I don't think I can
make it that far.
716
00:38:20,705 --> 00:38:21,639
Oh god.
717
00:38:21,672 --> 00:38:22,539
It's gonna come out.
718
00:38:22,572 --> 00:38:23,572
What is?
719
00:38:28,105 --> 00:38:29,105
Not a word.
720
00:38:29,305 --> 00:38:30,572
Not a word.
721
00:38:34,105 --> 00:38:35,239
Ok.
722
00:38:35,273 --> 00:38:35,971
Oh.
723
00:38:36,005 --> 00:38:36,672
Oh!
724
00:38:36,705 --> 00:38:38,038
I don't think I can bend over.
725
00:38:38,071 --> 00:38:39,239
Because there's a second one?
726
00:38:39,273 --> 00:38:39,672
Three.
727
00:38:39,705 --> 00:38:40,639
Oh!
728
00:38:40,672 --> 00:38:41,405
There are three more.
729
00:38:41,439 --> 00:38:43,605
I bought two boxes.
730
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:45,505
I see.
731
00:38:45,539 --> 00:38:46,505
For Kegels.
732
00:38:46,539 --> 00:38:48,038
Say no more.
733
00:38:50,639 --> 00:38:51,872
I need you to pick it up.
734
00:38:51,906 --> 00:38:54,047
You know, I didn't think there
were limits to our friendship.
735
00:38:54,071 --> 00:38:55,338
I realize it's just not true.
736
00:38:55,372 --> 00:38:56,605
Oh, this is not funny.
737
00:38:56,639 --> 00:38:57,472
It's not funny, ok?
738
00:38:57,505 --> 00:39:00,173
I only wore these
to a work function
739
00:39:00,206 --> 00:39:02,372
because I knew we would
be standing for three hours
740
00:39:02,405 --> 00:39:05,539
and, you know, I wanted to tone.
741
00:39:07,639 --> 00:39:08,672
Stop!
742
00:39:08,705 --> 00:39:09,705
Stop, ok?
743
00:39:09,739 --> 00:39:11,705
If you make me laugh another
ball will pop out.
744
00:39:11,739 --> 00:39:13,439
Oh god, I'm so...
745
00:39:13,472 --> 00:39:14,572
I need help here. Please.
746
00:39:14,605 --> 00:39:16,139
Ok, ok. Let's go.
747
00:39:19,705 --> 00:39:20,439
What was that?
748
00:39:20,472 --> 00:39:21,639
I don't know.
749
00:39:21,672 --> 00:39:24,372
When I walk my legs just
sort of rub together
750
00:39:24,405 --> 00:39:25,672
and I'm already so, so-
751
00:39:25,705 --> 00:39:27,372
oh my god, I might-
752
00:39:27,405 --> 00:39:28,005
Hallelujah?
753
00:39:28,038 --> 00:39:28,739
Yeah.
754
00:39:28,772 --> 00:39:30,971
Ok, we're gonna have to risk it.
755
00:39:31,005 --> 00:39:32,548
Lucy, if you do this
while holding my hand
756
00:39:32,572 --> 00:39:34,173
this friendship will
never be the same.
757
00:39:34,206 --> 00:39:36,014
Ladies, you look like
you're having a good night.
758
00:39:36,038 --> 00:39:37,539
Some of us more than others.
759
00:39:38,572 --> 00:39:39,572
What're you doing here?
760
00:39:39,605 --> 00:39:41,005
Oh, seeing my dad.
761
00:39:41,038 --> 00:39:43,206
He's on the board
with the trust.
762
00:39:43,605 --> 00:39:45,038
It's irrelevant.
763
00:39:45,072 --> 00:39:46,072
Now I'm seeing you.
764
00:39:46,106 --> 00:39:47,572
Have you met Priscilla?
765
00:39:47,605 --> 00:39:48,472
No, how are you?
766
00:39:48,505 --> 00:39:49,515
The leader of our quartet.
767
00:39:49,539 --> 00:39:52,505
My dear friend, who always
comes to my rescue.
768
00:39:52,539 --> 00:39:54,239
Oh, you need a lot of that?
769
00:39:54,273 --> 00:39:56,206
No, not at all, but even still,
770
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,639
she's just always waiting
for the other ball to drop.
771
00:39:58,672 --> 00:40:00,938
I mean shoe.
772
00:40:02,705 --> 00:40:04,206
Is it hot in here?
773
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:05,239
Yeah, it is.
774
00:40:06,405 --> 00:40:09,672
I see someone that I...
775
00:40:09,705 --> 00:40:11,106
I don't see anyone.
776
00:40:11,139 --> 00:40:13,338
I'm just getting out of the way.
777
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:17,139
Are you tired?
778
00:40:17,173 --> 00:40:17,971
Am I tired?
779
00:40:18,005 --> 00:40:19,605
Yeah, you seem a bit
out of breath.
780
00:40:21,639 --> 00:40:24,639
No, I just sort of get
that way when I play.
781
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:25,739
Oh, I get it.
782
00:40:25,772 --> 00:40:27,639
You're amazing.
783
00:40:29,305 --> 00:40:30,439
Sweet Jesus.
784
00:40:30,705 --> 00:40:32,072
Oh, what was that?
785
00:40:32,639 --> 00:40:33,739
That.
786
00:40:33,772 --> 00:40:37,639
No, my back just gets that way
when I stand and play.
787
00:40:37,672 --> 00:40:38,938
Alright.
788
00:40:41,106 --> 00:40:42,206
Are you cold?
789
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:42,971
Mmmhmm.
790
00:40:43,006 --> 00:40:43,605
Yeah.
791
00:40:43,639 --> 00:40:44,672
Oh, let's get you moving.
792
00:40:44,705 --> 00:40:45,472
Oh.
793
00:40:45,505 --> 00:40:46,572
Come on.
794
00:40:51,505 --> 00:40:53,039
Ah.
795
00:40:53,472 --> 00:40:54,505
You ok?
796
00:40:54,539 --> 00:40:55,572
Yeah.
797
00:40:55,605 --> 00:40:57,106
Yeah.
798
00:40:57,139 --> 00:40:58,672
Just warming up a little.
799
00:41:00,705 --> 00:41:02,372
If I didn't know better,
800
00:41:02,405 --> 00:41:04,325
your lips look beautifully
deflated this evening.
801
00:41:08,206 --> 00:41:10,539
Women don't usually
find me funny.
802
00:41:11,039 --> 00:41:13,273
It's my pleasure.
803
00:41:13,539 --> 00:41:14,539
Truly.
804
00:41:15,439 --> 00:41:16,439
Oh.
805
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:18,305
Oh.
806
00:41:19,505 --> 00:41:20,972
Oh, what was that?
807
00:41:21,006 --> 00:41:21,672
What was what?
808
00:41:21,705 --> 00:41:23,006
Something just hit my foot.
809
00:41:23,039 --> 00:41:23,639
Is that a bird?
810
00:41:23,672 --> 00:41:24,672
There's a bird?
811
00:41:25,739 --> 00:41:27,572
Nope. Nope.
812
00:41:27,605 --> 00:41:28,705
Sorry, my mistake.
813
00:41:28,739 --> 00:41:29,439
Weird.
814
00:41:29,472 --> 00:41:30,505
Anyway.
815
00:41:31,439 --> 00:41:32,405
I was thinking...
816
00:41:32,439 --> 00:41:32,972
Yeah?
817
00:41:33,006 --> 00:41:33,972
If you're not too busy-
818
00:41:34,006 --> 00:41:34,539
Never.
819
00:41:34,572 --> 00:41:35,338
Or too hot.
820
00:41:35,372 --> 00:41:35,972
Would you like to-
821
00:41:36,006 --> 00:41:36,672
Yes.
822
00:41:36,705 --> 00:41:37,439
Have dinner with me?
823
00:41:37,472 --> 00:41:38,739
Dear god, yes!
824
00:41:49,572 --> 00:41:51,372
So you call me up out of
the blue to ask me
825
00:41:51,405 --> 00:41:52,372
how good you were in bed?
826
00:41:52,405 --> 00:41:53,173
Mmmhmm.
827
00:41:53,206 --> 00:41:54,173
Out of a percentage out of 100.
828
00:41:54,206 --> 00:41:58,305
But if you must, I will accept
a letter grade.
829
00:42:01,139 --> 00:42:02,505
Did you meet someone?
830
00:42:02,539 --> 00:42:03,372
What?
831
00:42:03,405 --> 00:42:04,405
No.
832
00:42:04,572 --> 00:42:05,372
No.
833
00:42:05,405 --> 00:42:06,173
I was just wondering-
834
00:42:06,206 --> 00:42:07,505
You did.
835
00:42:07,539 --> 00:42:10,572
You're seeing someone.
836
00:42:10,605 --> 00:42:11,705
Yeah, I am.
837
00:42:11,739 --> 00:42:12,505
I'm sorry.
838
00:42:12,539 --> 00:42:13,505
It's very new-
839
00:42:13,539 --> 00:42:14,139
No, no.
840
00:42:14,173 --> 00:42:15,672
It's a-I'm relieved, ok?
841
00:42:15,705 --> 00:42:21,405
'Cause I'm... I'm also seeing
someone else, too.
842
00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:22,273
You are?
843
00:42:22,305 --> 00:42:23,539
Yeah.
844
00:42:27,739 --> 00:42:28,672
Halloween.
845
00:42:28,705 --> 00:42:29,239
Yeah.
846
00:42:29,273 --> 00:42:31,072
Right after we broke up.
847
00:42:31,106 --> 00:42:34,672
Oh, or is that how she dresses
all the time?
848
00:42:34,705 --> 00:42:36,439
That's funny.
849
00:42:36,472 --> 00:42:38,505
I miss your sense of humour.
850
00:42:39,305 --> 00:42:41,206
Is that-I'm sorry, is that bad
for me to say
851
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,338
that I miss something about you?
852
00:42:45,572 --> 00:42:49,472
So, how are the-
how's your lists coming?
853
00:42:49,505 --> 00:42:51,505
Oh, very well, thank you.
854
00:42:51,539 --> 00:42:53,338
Yeah, after the porn thing
855
00:42:53,372 --> 00:42:56,039
I made a list that's
all about sex.
856
00:42:56,072 --> 00:43:02,039
And I recently went to both
a porn shop and a strip club.
857
00:43:04,539 --> 00:43:05,439
What?
858
00:43:05,472 --> 00:43:06,405
You-no, you're...
859
00:43:06,439 --> 00:43:07,739
you're hilarious.
860
00:43:07,772 --> 00:43:13,273
You see, this-you, us
being friends, this rocks.
861
00:43:13,305 --> 00:43:14,605
Yeah, it's great.
862
00:43:14,639 --> 00:43:17,405
But, sex with me.
863
00:43:17,439 --> 00:43:18,705
How was it?
864
00:43:18,739 --> 00:43:19,972
Oh, right.
865
00:43:20,006 --> 00:43:24,405
It was fine.
866
00:43:24,439 --> 00:43:27,106
Jeff, literally choose
any letter.
867
00:43:27,139 --> 00:43:28,273
Ok, geez.
868
00:43:28,305 --> 00:43:31,072
Like A through F, right?
869
00:43:31,106 --> 00:43:32,106
Yes.
870
00:43:32,572 --> 00:43:34,006
Ok.
871
00:43:34,039 --> 00:43:37,139
You are a...
872
00:43:41,372 --> 00:43:43,072
D.
873
00:43:43,106 --> 00:43:44,173
It's in room D.
874
00:43:44,206 --> 00:43:44,907
Are you sure?
875
00:43:44,939 --> 00:43:46,372
It doesn't say "sex seminar".
876
00:43:46,405 --> 00:43:48,405
They're not gonna call it that.
877
00:43:48,439 --> 00:43:49,372
It's this one.
878
00:43:49,405 --> 00:43:50,305
It has to be.
879
00:43:50,338 --> 00:43:51,605
Come on.
880
00:43:55,405 --> 00:44:00,106
Proficiency in sex is a must.
881
00:44:00,139 --> 00:44:05,106
It is the universal language
of humanity.
882
00:44:07,006 --> 00:44:08,039
You're tardy.
883
00:44:08,072 --> 00:44:08,705
Take a seat.
884
00:44:08,739 --> 00:44:09,739
Did you invite her?
885
00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:11,439
No.
886
00:44:11,472 --> 00:44:13,572
What could she have to learn?
887
00:44:14,873 --> 00:44:19,206
To walk around speaking slang
is to be ignorant to one's self.
888
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:20,072
What're you doing here?
889
00:44:20,106 --> 00:44:21,648
I just came here to do research
for you.
890
00:44:21,672 --> 00:44:25,405
Number one miscommunication
slang speakers make
891
00:44:25,439 --> 00:44:29,305
is to think of it as a
male-centric activity.
892
00:44:29,338 --> 00:44:31,082
That is, they think about
when men intercourse
893
00:44:31,106 --> 00:44:33,739
with women that it's
all about the guy.
894
00:44:33,773 --> 00:44:34,639
Wrong!
895
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,672
Wrong!!
896
00:44:35,705 --> 00:44:36,939
Wrong!
897
00:44:36,972 --> 00:44:40,273
From this moment on you will
refer to sexual communication
898
00:44:40,305 --> 00:44:45,405
as the gift that you will
give to only a worthy man,
899
00:44:45,439 --> 00:44:52,305
from you, the soon to be
supremely empowered woman!
900
00:45:00,273 --> 00:45:02,605
Oh, hit-oh you are tense.
901
00:45:02,639 --> 00:45:04,338
Yeah, I don't think smacking it
902
00:45:04,372 --> 00:45:06,006
like that is part
of the technique.
903
00:45:06,039 --> 00:45:10,072
Kale, he left me for someone
his own age so I'm just-
904
00:45:10,106 --> 00:45:12,072
I can't deal with men right now.
905
00:45:12,106 --> 00:45:14,305
Oh, Nessa, I'm so sorry.
906
00:45:14,338 --> 00:45:16,273
Here.
907
00:45:16,305 --> 00:45:17,705
I'm gonna help you.
908
00:45:17,740 --> 00:45:19,539
Ok?
909
00:45:19,572 --> 00:45:23,439
It's like we're in Ghost
and you're my Patrick Swayze.
910
00:45:23,472 --> 00:45:27,273
Oh, of course you get
to be Demi Moore.
911
00:45:27,305 --> 00:45:29,338
It takes a village.
912
00:45:56,605 --> 00:45:59,472
Ok, so five weeks until my
audition for the Philharmonic-
913
00:45:59,505 --> 00:46:03,505
I'm not getting any better,
am I?
914
00:46:03,539 --> 00:46:06,106
No, you're really not.
915
00:46:06,139 --> 00:46:07,239
What?
916
00:46:07,273 --> 00:46:09,173
'Cause you're already a genius.
917
00:46:09,206 --> 00:46:11,206
Well, it's true,
and you know it.
918
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:17,106
You just gotta get out of there.
919
00:46:17,139 --> 00:46:20,173
Did you know that the female
ferret will die if she goes
920
00:46:20,206 --> 00:46:22,405
into heat and can't find a mate?
921
00:46:22,439 --> 00:46:24,972
Jeff was the rodent, not you.
922
00:46:25,006 --> 00:46:26,206
What about the best man?
923
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:27,173
Groomsman.
924
00:46:27,206 --> 00:46:28,305
Hasn't he called?
925
00:46:28,338 --> 00:46:30,082
You really should ask Paul
what his story is because-
926
00:46:30,106 --> 00:46:32,305
No. No, he did.
927
00:46:32,338 --> 00:46:34,338
We're going out on Saturday.
928
00:46:34,372 --> 00:46:35,173
You are?!
929
00:46:35,206 --> 00:46:36,106
Oh.
930
00:46:36,139 --> 00:46:36,605
That's wonderful!
931
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:37,472
Oh.
932
00:46:37,505 --> 00:46:39,273
You're at a ten.
933
00:46:39,305 --> 00:46:40,505
Well, what are your plans?
934
00:46:40,539 --> 00:46:43,006
I mean, you could do
a dinner cruise.
935
00:46:43,039 --> 00:46:45,072
Oh, a hot air balloon.
936
00:46:45,106 --> 00:46:47,106
What is with you today?
937
00:46:47,139 --> 00:46:48,640
Nothing, I'm just happy for you.
938
00:46:48,673 --> 00:46:51,539
Oh... what are those?
939
00:46:51,572 --> 00:46:53,239
Stan got me diamonds.
940
00:46:53,273 --> 00:46:54,539
Oh my god.
941
00:46:54,572 --> 00:46:56,273
Was it the seminar?
942
00:46:56,305 --> 00:46:59,305
I have a sex life again
after 27 years.
943
00:46:59,338 --> 00:47:02,439
Stan and I are doing it like
high school kids on prom night.
944
00:47:02,472 --> 00:47:04,972
Oh, so meaning it's over
in five minutes
945
00:47:05,006 --> 00:47:06,149
and you get nothing out of it.
946
00:47:06,173 --> 00:47:09,139
Except a bad reputation.
947
00:47:09,173 --> 00:47:10,572
Anyway, enough about me.
948
00:47:10,606 --> 00:47:12,249
Why aren't you thrilled
about the best man?
949
00:47:12,273 --> 00:47:13,372
I am.
950
00:47:13,405 --> 00:47:17,139
I... don't you think he's
a little out of my league?
951
00:47:17,173 --> 00:47:19,405
I'm not even gonna dignify
that question.
952
00:47:19,439 --> 00:47:22,039
You're just afraid to get back
on the horse.
953
00:47:22,072 --> 00:47:23,972
Lucy, it's like riding a bike.
954
00:47:24,006 --> 00:47:27,539
Or maybe a pogo stick.
955
00:47:27,572 --> 00:47:29,706
I'm just freaking out
because in my effort to be
956
00:47:29,740 --> 00:47:33,740
supremely empowered I insisted
on planning the date.
957
00:47:33,773 --> 00:47:37,039
And I've got nothing.
958
00:47:37,072 --> 00:47:40,239
Well, if you're interested,
Stan got us two tickets
959
00:47:40,273 --> 00:47:42,740
to the Dr. Becker taping
on Saturday night.
960
00:47:42,773 --> 00:47:44,072
VIP seats.
961
00:47:44,106 --> 00:47:45,405
Which is...?
962
00:47:45,439 --> 00:47:47,573
She's a sex expert.
963
00:47:47,606 --> 00:47:49,405
I showed Stan the list.
964
00:47:49,439 --> 00:47:51,206
He got very inspired.
965
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:53,439
Anyway, if I promised to make it
worth his while
966
00:47:53,472 --> 00:47:57,139
I'm sure I can get him
to stay at home.
967
00:47:57,173 --> 00:48:01,173
Ok, if I promise to take
the tickets
968
00:48:01,206 --> 00:48:02,982
do you promise to never talk
about you and Stan
969
00:48:03,006 --> 00:48:05,640
sexually communicating
ever again?
970
00:48:05,673 --> 00:48:06,372
Deal.
971
00:48:06,405 --> 00:48:07,305
Ok.
972
00:48:07,338 --> 00:48:08,448
Can I just tell you one thing?
973
00:48:08,472 --> 00:48:09,239
Alright, yes.
974
00:48:09,273 --> 00:48:11,006
I'm gonna get my labia
tightened.
975
00:48:19,139 --> 00:48:21,972
What do you think about
oyster shooters?
976
00:48:22,006 --> 00:48:27,039
Aren't oysters more
of a third date kind of food?
977
00:48:27,072 --> 00:48:29,372
Yes, good point.
978
00:48:29,405 --> 00:48:31,173
It's not like you're taking me
to a sex show.
979
00:48:31,206 --> 00:48:33,972
Lecture by a progressive,
980
00:48:34,006 --> 00:48:36,606
world renowned researcher
who went to Yale.
981
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:40,173
Which is definitely not Harvard.
982
00:48:40,206 --> 00:48:42,314
But she happens to be discussing
human sexuality and I-
983
00:48:42,338 --> 00:48:45,206
I know, I know, consult
an expert is on your list.
984
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,006
I'm messing with you.
985
00:48:47,039 --> 00:48:50,239
And just because we're going
to a lecture like this
986
00:48:50,273 --> 00:48:53,273
doesn't make me a sure thing,
you know.
987
00:48:53,305 --> 00:48:54,740
Me neither.
988
00:48:54,773 --> 00:48:56,372
Good.
989
00:48:56,405 --> 00:48:59,673
Wouldn't want you getting
the wrong idea.
990
00:48:59,706 --> 00:49:02,472
What idea might that be?
991
00:49:02,506 --> 00:49:05,439
I don't know, I just wouldn't
want you misinterpreting
992
00:49:05,472 --> 00:49:11,706
my list, 'cause I'm really
not that kind of girl.
993
00:49:11,740 --> 00:49:15,173
And what kind of girl are you?
994
00:49:15,206 --> 00:49:19,305
That's for me to know
and for you to wonder.
995
00:49:22,540 --> 00:49:24,640
Ok, well now I'm gonna ask you
a bunch of things
996
00:49:24,673 --> 00:49:27,206
so I can make a meaningful
snap judgment about you
997
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:28,206
without being distracted
998
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:32,372
by all your charming,
attractive... you-ness.
999
00:49:32,405 --> 00:49:34,972
Is this where you ask me
for my tax return?
1000
00:49:35,006 --> 00:49:36,473
'Cause I didn't bring it.
1001
00:49:36,506 --> 00:49:38,706
No.
1002
00:49:38,740 --> 00:49:41,473
I was just gonna ask you what
your favourite book was.
1003
00:49:41,506 --> 00:49:43,072
Sorry.
1004
00:49:43,106 --> 00:49:45,273
My last girlfriend did that
on the first date.
1005
00:49:45,305 --> 00:49:49,139
And you still ended up
dating her?
1006
00:49:49,173 --> 00:49:50,673
Oh.
1007
00:49:50,706 --> 00:49:51,740
Alright, yeah.
1008
00:49:51,773 --> 00:49:54,305
Your last girlfriend must have
been a supermodel.
1009
00:49:54,338 --> 00:49:56,640
She was a model, yes,
but super, no.
1010
00:49:56,673 --> 00:49:57,573
Definitely not.
1011
00:49:57,606 --> 00:49:59,149
And she's certainly not
Harvard material.
1012
00:49:59,173 --> 00:50:01,039
Ah.
1013
00:50:01,072 --> 00:50:05,173
Well, as an artist, I do not
require financial documentation.
1014
00:50:05,206 --> 00:50:07,106
Being well kept doesn't really
apply to me.
1015
00:50:07,139 --> 00:50:10,039
And yet you seem to be
kept very well.
1016
00:50:12,506 --> 00:50:13,506
That is corny.
1017
00:50:15,139 --> 00:50:16,972
Let's do the books.
1018
00:50:17,006 --> 00:50:18,006
I have two.
1019
00:50:18,039 --> 00:50:19,048
I also have two favourites.
1020
00:50:19,072 --> 00:50:19,740
Ladies first.
1021
00:50:19,773 --> 00:50:20,773
Nope.
1022
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,072
No. I asked you first.
1023
00:50:23,106 --> 00:50:25,139
Revealing book love is
a very personal thing.
1024
00:50:25,173 --> 00:50:26,139
I know.
1025
00:50:26,173 --> 00:50:29,972
That's why it's my stock first
date question.
1026
00:50:30,006 --> 00:50:33,139
It's gonna tell me everything
I need to know about you.
1027
00:50:33,173 --> 00:50:35,606
Are you sure you wanna know?
1028
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,573
Yeah, you're right.
1029
00:50:37,606 --> 00:50:40,338
It could be the end of something
good before it even starts.
1030
00:50:40,372 --> 00:50:43,573
Or it could be the start of
something good that doesn't end.
1031
00:50:45,540 --> 00:50:47,206
What the hell's in this drink?
1032
00:50:49,606 --> 00:50:50,606
Ok, alright.
1033
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,273
Let's just state our books.
1034
00:50:52,305 --> 00:50:53,139
Yep.
1035
00:50:53,173 --> 00:50:55,006
And let's get this ship
to sinking, ok?
1036
00:50:55,039 --> 00:50:56,106
Please.
1037
00:50:56,139 --> 00:50:56,972
Alright.
1038
00:50:57,006 --> 00:50:57,972
Yeah. At the same time,
count of three?
1039
00:50:58,006 --> 00:50:58,406
Yes.
1040
00:50:58,440 --> 00:50:59,039
Alright.
1041
00:50:59,072 --> 00:50:59,606
Ok.
1042
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,440
One, two, three.
1043
00:51:01,473 --> 00:51:02,516
"Everything That Rises
Must Converge",
1044
00:51:02,540 --> 00:51:03,740
and "The Story of Your Life."
1045
00:51:03,773 --> 00:51:04,673
"The Story of Your Life"
1046
00:51:04,706 --> 00:51:07,305
and "Everything That Rises
Must Converge".
1047
00:51:08,173 --> 00:51:09,972
Well, you like them in
the wrong order.
1048
00:51:10,006 --> 00:51:11,972
Yeah. It's definitely
not gonna work.
1049
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,506
This is the Dr. Becker show?
1050
00:51:24,540 --> 00:51:26,072
Yeah. Welcome.
1051
00:51:27,273 --> 00:51:31,606
Oh, will Dr. Becker be out soon?
1052
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,106
That is Dr. Becker.
1053
00:51:34,139 --> 00:51:34,972
Alright, let's get everybody
in their seats now-
1054
00:51:35,006 --> 00:51:39,106
Wait, she's a Magna Cum
Laude Yale PhD?
1055
00:51:39,139 --> 00:51:40,506
Follow me.
1056
00:51:40,540 --> 00:51:42,616
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
1057
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:44,673
The show is about to start.
1058
00:51:44,706 --> 00:51:49,139
Dr. Becker, you're on
in three, two...
1059
00:51:51,006 --> 00:51:53,006
Ok.
1060
00:51:53,039 --> 00:51:55,106
I am so sorry. I had no idea-
1061
00:51:55,139 --> 00:51:56,206
Are you kidding me?
1062
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:59,473
This is the most interesting
date I have ever gone on
1063
00:51:59,506 --> 00:52:00,506
in my entire life.
1064
00:52:00,540 --> 00:52:01,506
Welcome.
1065
00:52:01,540 --> 00:52:06,039
Tonight's guest is both
a true pleasure to have
1066
00:52:06,072 --> 00:52:09,339
and a departure from my usual
science-based approach
1067
00:52:09,373 --> 00:52:11,673
to sexual enlightenment.
1068
00:52:11,706 --> 00:52:14,473
Science was nothing like
this where I went to school.
1069
00:52:14,506 --> 00:52:15,740
Really?
1070
00:52:15,773 --> 00:52:18,015
I thought boarding schools were
known for sexual enlightenment.
1071
00:52:18,039 --> 00:52:20,972
Please help me welcome
Madam Swarovska,
1072
00:52:21,006 --> 00:52:23,106
world-renowned sexual psychic.
1073
00:52:25,006 --> 00:52:25,907
What's a sexual psychic?
1074
00:52:25,939 --> 00:52:28,206
Someone who can do
the pull and pray method
1075
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,106
of birth control?
1076
00:52:31,506 --> 00:52:32,506
You snorted.
1077
00:52:32,540 --> 00:52:33,740
Ok, I'm leaving.
1078
00:52:33,773 --> 00:52:35,706
That one.
1079
00:52:35,740 --> 00:52:37,173
She suffers.
1080
00:52:37,206 --> 00:52:38,206
Oh?
1081
00:52:43,006 --> 00:52:44,239
Oh.
1082
00:52:44,274 --> 00:52:45,506
Madame Swarovska,
1083
00:52:45,540 --> 00:52:48,173
can you explain to our audience
what it is that you're doing?
1084
00:52:48,206 --> 00:52:49,740
And me, would be nice.
1085
00:52:49,773 --> 00:52:53,206
I am assessing the aura.
1086
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:57,006
Seeing what colours
surround her.
1087
00:52:57,039 --> 00:52:59,139
Sounds lovely. Thank you.
1088
00:52:59,173 --> 00:53:02,440
For most people, yes.
For you, no.
1089
00:53:02,473 --> 00:53:05,206
For you, is grey.
1090
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:06,606
Grey?
1091
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:08,706
Are you saying that
she's sexually...
1092
00:53:08,740 --> 00:53:10,006
Grey!
1093
00:53:10,039 --> 00:53:11,473
Yes.
1094
00:53:11,506 --> 00:53:15,972
Well, lucky for me
neutrals are in for fall.
1095
00:53:16,006 --> 00:53:17,972
You know, we can go
like five minutes ago.
1096
00:53:18,006 --> 00:53:19,006
No, no, this is awesome.
1097
00:53:19,039 --> 00:53:19,873
This is great.
1098
00:53:19,907 --> 00:53:22,006
How about we get you on
stage, Miss...?
1099
00:53:22,039 --> 00:53:23,440
Lu...
1100
00:53:24,740 --> 00:53:26,274
Lulu-bell.
1101
00:53:27,306 --> 00:53:29,740
Well, come on up
here, Lulu-bell,
1102
00:53:29,773 --> 00:53:32,440
so Madame Swarovska
can read you.
1103
00:53:32,473 --> 00:53:33,706
Come on.
1104
00:53:34,706 --> 00:53:36,373
You're safe.
1105
00:53:39,740 --> 00:53:45,506
Yes, the grey one is in deep
struggle with the sex.
1106
00:53:45,540 --> 00:53:47,106
I often discuss a condition
1107
00:53:47,139 --> 00:53:49,972
called sexual attention
deficit disorder.
1108
00:53:50,006 --> 00:53:51,306
SADD.
1109
00:53:51,339 --> 00:53:53,274
Sad, for short.
1110
00:53:53,306 --> 00:53:55,506
Which involves frequent
mental wanderings
1111
00:53:55,540 --> 00:53:59,072
of a non-sexual nature
during intercourse.
1112
00:53:59,106 --> 00:54:00,240
Might that be what-
1113
00:54:00,274 --> 00:54:03,673
Yes, but also lack
of experience.
1114
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:10,540
Oh, trust me, I-I have plenty
of experience.
1115
00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:15,139
The cards say no.
1116
00:54:15,174 --> 00:54:16,440
No, I assure you.
1117
00:54:16,473 --> 00:54:18,139
I know what I'm doing.
1118
00:54:18,174 --> 00:54:19,673
The cards say no.
1119
00:54:23,039 --> 00:54:24,573
Oh, I see.
1120
00:54:24,606 --> 00:54:28,640
You are very old when
you are first having sex.
1121
00:54:28,673 --> 00:54:30,606
Surely you mean old enough.
1122
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,606
No, I mean old.
1123
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,274
Oh.
1124
00:54:34,972 --> 00:54:39,174
Oh, old is why you are only
having sex with four people?
1125
00:54:39,207 --> 00:54:41,006
Is that true?
1126
00:54:41,039 --> 00:54:42,440
Four?
1127
00:54:42,473 --> 00:54:43,373
No.
1128
00:54:43,406 --> 00:54:44,207
No?
1129
00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:44,873
Well, yeah.
1130
00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:46,240
But what's wrong with that?
1131
00:54:46,274 --> 00:54:48,573
Oh, one does not count.
1132
00:54:48,606 --> 00:54:55,606
It ends how you say...
prematurely.
1133
00:54:59,606 --> 00:55:01,673
Oh, that one looks promising.
1134
00:55:01,706 --> 00:55:05,673
Yeah, when is upright yes,
but for you is reverse.
1135
00:55:05,706 --> 00:55:06,506
Oh.
1136
00:55:06,540 --> 00:55:08,606
Oh.
1137
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:09,972
Grey one.
1138
00:55:10,006 --> 00:55:10,773
Yeah?
1139
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:13,072
You're not having the big booms?
1140
00:55:13,106 --> 00:55:15,406
What?
1141
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:18,240
The big booms.
1142
00:55:18,274 --> 00:55:20,673
The rolling thunder.
1143
00:55:20,706 --> 00:55:23,207
The crotch magic, you know?
1144
00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:25,240
Like, oh yeah, baby.
1145
00:55:25,274 --> 00:55:26,072
I love it!
1146
00:55:26,107 --> 00:55:26,939
You know?
1147
00:55:26,972 --> 00:55:28,640
Like, woah Nealy gets
really crazy,
1148
00:55:28,673 --> 00:55:30,039
that kind of sex.
1149
00:55:30,072 --> 00:55:32,640
Like like magic time.
1150
00:55:32,673 --> 00:55:33,972
Like crotch magic.
1151
00:55:34,006 --> 00:55:35,473
Blast it off.
1152
00:55:35,506 --> 00:55:37,306
Blast up inside, you know?
1153
00:55:37,339 --> 00:55:38,706
I can't handle it any more!
1154
00:55:38,740 --> 00:55:40,339
Like... woo!
1155
00:55:40,373 --> 00:55:41,339
This type of thing.
1156
00:55:41,373 --> 00:55:42,573
What-how you call it?
1157
00:55:42,606 --> 00:55:46,606
She sees... you don't orgasm.
1158
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,540
I got it. Thanks.
1159
00:55:48,573 --> 00:55:51,606
Oh, but you're giving booms
to yourself sometime,
1160
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:52,573
that's good.
1161
00:55:52,606 --> 00:55:53,706
That's ok.
1162
00:55:53,740 --> 00:55:54,740
That's something?
1163
00:55:58,006 --> 00:55:58,640
That's nice.
1164
00:55:58,673 --> 00:56:00,573
You keep that going, ok?
1165
00:56:01,339 --> 00:56:04,440
Now I'm going to see about
the one you come here with.
1166
00:56:04,473 --> 00:56:05,306
This guy over here.
1167
00:56:05,339 --> 00:56:06,174
Oh, oh.
1168
00:56:06,207 --> 00:56:07,573
Now.
1169
00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:14,174
This is really lucky.
1170
00:56:14,207 --> 00:56:16,540
The devil's card in reverse
is representing
1171
00:56:16,573 --> 00:56:19,540
like breaking freedom
from restraint.
1172
00:56:19,573 --> 00:56:23,306
This guy is going to give
you the big booms!
1173
00:56:24,706 --> 00:56:26,073
Yes.
1174
00:56:27,573 --> 00:56:31,573
Isn't that amazing how accurate
the Madame is?
1175
00:56:44,706 --> 00:56:50,040
Well thank you again
for a revealing night.
1176
00:56:50,073 --> 00:56:54,339
Once again, she was so not right
about anything she said.
1177
00:56:54,373 --> 00:56:55,040
No.
1178
00:56:55,073 --> 00:56:55,540
By the way.
1179
00:56:55,573 --> 00:56:56,640
She's crazy.
1180
00:56:56,673 --> 00:56:58,449
She said I rocked your world
when we barely even know
1181
00:56:58,473 --> 00:57:00,506
each other, let alone have had,
you know, sex.
1182
00:57:00,540 --> 00:57:01,640
Right?
1183
00:57:01,673 --> 00:57:02,573
I know.
1184
00:57:02,606 --> 00:57:03,846
Like, what was she even saying?
1185
00:57:03,873 --> 00:57:09,240
That just me being close to you
I get like all... I don't know.
1186
00:57:09,274 --> 00:57:10,073
Sorry, no.
1187
00:57:10,107 --> 00:57:13,740
Look how in control I am
around you.
1188
00:57:13,773 --> 00:57:15,706
Right.
1189
00:57:16,740 --> 00:57:18,373
Anyway, yeah, she was wrong.
1190
00:57:18,406 --> 00:57:20,306
She was crazy wrong.
1191
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:22,406
Who knows?
1192
00:57:25,473 --> 00:57:28,540
Anyway, twice again,
for the official record,
1193
00:57:28,573 --> 00:57:31,373
I had absolutely no idea
about tonight
1194
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:35,174
and I am so, so, so sorry.
1195
00:57:35,207 --> 00:57:36,673
I'm really sorry.
1196
00:57:36,706 --> 00:57:38,673
I'm not.
1197
00:57:46,140 --> 00:57:47,007
Goodnight.
1198
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,373
Yeah.
1199
00:57:48,406 --> 00:57:50,007
I swear you're going
to get me fired.
1200
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:52,540
Or even worse,
assigned to awful jobs.
1201
00:57:52,573 --> 00:57:55,440
Grant's a pretty big deal
at the firm, you know.
1202
00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:58,606
And you're a big deal to us,
Paul, but this isn't about you.
1203
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:00,140
Yet.
1204
00:58:00,174 --> 00:58:02,440
The psychic didn't
say anything positive?
1205
00:58:02,473 --> 00:58:04,274
Just that I wouldn't end
up alone.
1206
00:58:04,306 --> 00:58:07,107
Well, that could just mean
she thinks you'll get a cat.
1207
00:58:07,140 --> 00:58:07,907
What?
1208
00:58:07,940 --> 00:58:09,183
Ok, let me paint a picture
for you.
1209
00:58:09,207 --> 00:58:13,506
If Grant is the devil and not
even he can get lucky with her,
1210
00:58:13,540 --> 00:58:16,207
then perhaps poor Luce
is destined to end up
1211
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,673
with a litter of cats.
1212
00:58:18,706 --> 00:58:20,274
But seriously,
let's get back on point.
1213
00:58:20,306 --> 00:58:21,540
How did you two leave things?
1214
00:58:21,573 --> 00:58:23,274
Am I gonna have to avoid him
at the office?
1215
00:58:23,306 --> 00:58:26,440
Can't hear you. I'm shopping.
1216
00:58:26,473 --> 00:58:29,040
Luce, quick question.
1217
00:58:29,073 --> 00:58:31,274
Isn't this the section for girls
who do get kissed?
1218
00:58:32,107 --> 00:58:33,207
Just so you know,
1219
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:34,549
he said he was gonna call this
weekend to make plans.
1220
00:58:34,573 --> 00:58:35,540
And no, I'm in
the right section.
1221
00:58:35,573 --> 00:58:36,373
Mmmhmm.
1222
00:58:36,406 --> 00:58:39,673
Guys, I have to tell
you something.
1223
00:58:39,706 --> 00:58:41,740
Good god, you're not preg- how?
1224
00:58:41,773 --> 00:58:42,573
What?
1225
00:58:42,606 --> 00:58:43,207
No.
1226
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:44,440
The question would be who,
1227
00:58:44,473 --> 00:58:47,406
since I can't even seem to get
a guy past the front porch.
1228
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:48,406
You know those jeans
1229
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:52,140
that make my ass look like
a sorority girl's?
1230
00:58:53,773 --> 00:58:55,274
Here?
1231
00:58:55,306 --> 00:58:56,382
We're going to
the women's section.
1232
00:58:56,406 --> 00:58:57,740
Nope, not the women's.
1233
00:58:57,773 --> 00:58:58,606
Men's?
1234
00:58:58,640 --> 00:58:59,473
That's brilliant.
1235
00:58:59,506 --> 00:59:00,473
Right here.
1236
00:59:00,506 --> 00:59:02,306
In maternity.
1237
00:59:02,973 --> 00:59:07,540
Look, they have this stretchy
stuff that goes over the stomach
1238
00:59:07,573 --> 00:59:11,240
and just kinda smooths
everything out.
1239
00:59:13,706 --> 00:59:15,673
I know, you think I'm pathetic.
1240
00:59:15,706 --> 00:59:16,773
No, no.
1241
00:59:16,807 --> 00:59:19,174
I'm just trying to figure out
my size in women's.
1242
00:59:35,107 --> 00:59:38,040
Who knew strings could accompany
threesome-type sex so well?
1243
00:59:38,073 --> 00:59:39,673
I say we rehearse like this
all the time.
1244
00:59:40,573 --> 00:59:42,506
I'm so surprised you're still
doing the list.
1245
00:59:42,540 --> 00:59:43,573
I'm psyched.
1246
00:59:43,606 --> 00:59:46,274
I've been labelled
sexually grey.
1247
00:59:46,306 --> 00:59:47,740
It kinda solidified the mission.
1248
00:59:47,773 --> 00:59:49,682
And I've been waiting for Grant
to call me all week
1249
00:59:49,706 --> 00:59:53,207
so I figured I might as well
just watch my 25 films.
1250
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:54,449
Why are you waiting
for him to call?
1251
00:59:54,473 --> 00:59:58,073
Why don't you call him?
1252
00:59:58,107 --> 01:00:00,207
Anyway, so I had one of these
on when it came time
1253
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:02,339
to practice one day, so...
1254
01:00:02,373 --> 01:00:03,274
Well, if it means anything,
1255
01:00:03,306 --> 01:00:05,540
I've never heard you play
this good, girl.
1256
01:00:05,573 --> 01:00:06,773
Don't be ridiculous.
1257
01:00:06,807 --> 01:00:11,007
A month until the Philharmonic
auditions remember us when.
1258
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:12,040
Mmmhmm.
1259
01:00:18,073 --> 01:00:20,007
Oh my god. It's him.
1260
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:20,473
The best man?
1261
01:00:20,506 --> 01:00:21,540
Yeah.
1262
01:00:21,573 --> 01:00:22,506
Do I-what, do I answer?
1263
01:00:22,540 --> 01:00:23,140
No!
1264
01:00:23,174 --> 01:00:25,040
No.
1265
01:00:25,073 --> 01:00:26,373
Yes.
1266
01:00:26,406 --> 01:00:28,174
I don't know.
1267
01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:29,506
Ok, answer it or I will.
1268
01:00:29,540 --> 01:00:31,339
I already suffered through
high school once.
1269
01:00:31,373 --> 01:00:32,373
Ok.
1270
01:00:33,107 --> 01:00:34,240
Ok.
1271
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,107
Yourself. It's Grant.
1272
01:00:38,140 --> 01:00:39,640
Listen, sorry I haven't
called you...
1273
01:00:39,673 --> 01:00:41,553
""? The man of your dreams
calls and you say ""?
1274
01:00:43,174 --> 01:00:45,007
Me shush?
1275
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:46,406
No, sorry. Not you.
1276
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:47,473
I'm with the quartet.
1277
01:00:47,506 --> 01:00:49,207
Rehearsing some porn!
1278
01:00:50,274 --> 01:00:51,349
Did she say you're
watching porn?
1279
01:00:51,373 --> 01:00:52,040
No.
1280
01:00:52,073 --> 01:00:52,673
No, she did not.
1281
01:00:52,706 --> 01:00:54,506
She said "horn".
1282
01:00:54,540 --> 01:00:57,240
Yeah, we're adding a French horn
to the group.
1283
01:00:57,274 --> 01:00:59,440
Ah, well, I can't help you
with that.
1284
01:00:59,473 --> 01:01:02,673
So you're working on a Saturday?
1285
01:01:02,706 --> 01:01:03,540
Listen.
1286
01:01:03,573 --> 01:01:04,682
Sorry I haven't called all week.
1287
01:01:04,706 --> 01:01:06,282
I've been bloody busy
in non-stop meetings and-
1288
01:01:06,306 --> 01:01:07,382
He was out of town all week.
1289
01:01:07,406 --> 01:01:08,373
That's it.
1290
01:01:08,406 --> 01:01:09,274
Woohoo!
1291
01:01:09,306 --> 01:01:10,673
Oh, thank god.
1292
01:01:10,706 --> 01:01:12,007
There it is.
1293
01:01:12,406 --> 01:01:13,406
Oh!
1294
01:01:14,774 --> 01:01:15,540
Oh, Paul, your ass.
1295
01:01:15,573 --> 01:01:16,406
Turn it down!
1296
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,339
Turn it down!
1297
01:01:19,473 --> 01:01:21,406
Sorry, Nessa just stubbed
her toe.
1298
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:22,440
Why me?
1299
01:01:24,473 --> 01:01:25,406
Anyway, look.
1300
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:27,083
I know it's last minute
but I was thinking,
1301
01:01:27,107 --> 01:01:28,406
if you wanted to go out-
1302
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:29,339
I'd love to.
1303
01:01:29,373 --> 01:01:31,373
Yes. Whatever it is.
1304
01:01:31,406 --> 01:01:32,406
So sorry!
1305
01:01:33,506 --> 01:01:35,373
Not sorry.
1306
01:02:15,473 --> 01:02:16,473
Ok. Ok.
1307
01:02:16,506 --> 01:02:17,540
Here we go.
1308
01:02:17,573 --> 01:02:19,107
Wait. Wait.
1309
01:02:19,140 --> 01:02:20,339
What?
1310
01:02:34,774 --> 01:02:35,274
No?
1311
01:02:35,306 --> 01:02:36,240
You want me to stop?
1312
01:02:36,274 --> 01:02:37,674
What? No. Go.
1313
01:02:37,707 --> 01:02:38,207
No?
1314
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:40,707
As in it's a no go?
1315
01:02:40,741 --> 01:02:42,040
No. No. Keep going.
1316
01:03:27,506 --> 01:03:29,641
The perfect pants for you two.
1317
01:03:45,073 --> 01:03:46,315
Sorry, I didn't mean
to wake you.
1318
01:03:46,339 --> 01:03:48,306
I was just gonna...
1319
01:03:49,339 --> 01:03:51,274
Oh.
1320
01:03:51,306 --> 01:03:52,306
Ok.
1321
01:04:02,007 --> 01:04:03,174
I'll call you.
1322
01:04:04,107 --> 01:04:05,339
Yeah.
1323
01:04:19,674 --> 01:04:20,274
Oh my god.
1324
01:04:20,306 --> 01:04:21,306
No! No!
1325
01:04:21,339 --> 01:04:24,140
Grant! Wait!
1326
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:27,040
No. No.
1327
01:04:27,073 --> 01:04:28,540
Grant! Wait!
1328
01:04:29,306 --> 01:04:32,339
Grant? Grant!
1329
01:04:32,373 --> 01:04:36,073
If it's about the porn
I can quit any time!
1330
01:04:38,506 --> 01:04:39,306
What?
1331
01:04:39,339 --> 01:04:42,240
So I watch porn.
Big fucking deal.
1332
01:04:42,274 --> 01:04:43,540
As long as it's consensual.
1333
01:04:43,574 --> 01:04:45,440
No judgment.
1334
01:04:57,339 --> 01:04:59,207
Stupid.
1335
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,240
Useless!
1336
01:05:02,774 --> 01:05:05,506
This tastes like crap!
1337
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:08,306
Disgusting!
1338
01:05:09,541 --> 01:05:10,707
Don't even work!
1339
01:05:18,473 --> 01:05:20,373
God, I can't believe this.
1340
01:05:21,107 --> 01:05:22,240
And you.
1341
01:06:23,073 --> 01:06:24,641
Stupid.
1342
01:06:44,507 --> 01:06:47,607
Phil's penthouse
is just so gorge.
1343
01:06:47,641 --> 01:06:50,107
My boyfriend and I walked in
and he was all
1344
01:06:50,140 --> 01:06:52,574
"this place owns the skyline".
1345
01:06:52,607 --> 01:06:54,315
Well, it did take us about
a year to complete
1346
01:06:54,339 --> 01:06:56,107
so you can imagine what it cost.
1347
01:06:56,140 --> 01:06:57,973
I don't do numbers.
1348
01:06:58,007 --> 01:07:00,007
Me neither, but like how much?
1349
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:02,073
Anyway, if you thought
the penthouse is impressive
1350
01:07:02,107 --> 01:07:05,373
you really ought to see
his place in the Hamptons.
1351
01:07:05,407 --> 01:07:07,107
I can't wait to own multiple
homes in
1352
01:07:07,140 --> 01:07:08,641
which I don't actually live.
1353
01:07:08,674 --> 01:07:11,174
My boyfriend and I
love the Hams.
1354
01:07:11,207 --> 01:07:13,140
The Hams?
1355
01:07:13,174 --> 01:07:14,349
Is that what we're calling
it now?
1356
01:07:14,373 --> 01:07:16,040
Only people who live there.
1357
01:07:16,073 --> 01:07:18,339
Or people who know people,
like my boyfriend does.
1358
01:07:18,373 --> 01:07:20,140
You guys need to meet him.
1359
01:07:20,174 --> 01:07:21,214
He'll be here in a minute.
1360
01:07:22,007 --> 01:07:23,349
You know what? I want
some more wine.
1361
01:07:23,373 --> 01:07:24,741
In fact, I'll take
an I.V. of it.
1362
01:07:24,774 --> 01:07:25,474
Noted.
1363
01:07:25,507 --> 01:07:26,339
Two I.V.'s.
1364
01:07:26,373 --> 01:07:28,641
Nessa, you've gotta slow
your roll, love.
1365
01:07:28,674 --> 01:07:31,107
Why are you guys here, again?
1366
01:07:31,140 --> 01:07:33,274
Paul, he's doing
the panel thing.
1367
01:07:33,306 --> 01:07:37,674
Yeah, because he has actual
things to say.
1368
01:07:37,707 --> 01:07:39,274
Sorry.
1369
01:07:39,306 --> 01:07:42,073
There is a designer on the panel
1370
01:07:42,107 --> 01:07:45,007
and Paul wants to ask her out.
1371
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:47,040
He makes us act like
we're interested in him
1372
01:07:47,073 --> 01:07:49,339
so he can, like, get girls.
1373
01:07:49,374 --> 01:07:51,674
Yeah, it's legitimizing.
1374
01:07:51,707 --> 01:07:53,973
Once I make partner I probably
won't need it.
1375
01:07:54,007 --> 01:07:55,140
He's right.
1376
01:07:55,174 --> 01:07:56,407
My boyfriend's a partner.
1377
01:07:56,441 --> 01:07:57,407
It's attractive.
1378
01:07:57,441 --> 01:07:59,707
I mean, my boyfriend's
already attractive.
1379
01:07:59,741 --> 01:08:00,973
My boyfriend.
1380
01:08:01,007 --> 01:08:02,073
My boyfriend.
1381
01:08:02,107 --> 01:08:02,973
My boyfriend.
1382
01:08:03,007 --> 01:08:03,741
My boyfriend.
1383
01:08:03,774 --> 01:08:05,073
My boyfriend.
1384
01:08:05,107 --> 01:08:06,240
My boyfriend.
1385
01:08:06,274 --> 01:08:07,374
My boyfriend.
1386
01:08:07,407 --> 01:08:08,541
My boyfriend.
1387
01:08:08,574 --> 01:08:09,983
Maybe you should get
a shirt that says
1388
01:08:10,007 --> 01:08:11,174
"I have a boyfriend"
1389
01:08:11,207 --> 01:08:14,040
and then you wouldn't have
to tell us every five seconds.
1390
01:08:14,073 --> 01:08:14,641
Ok, refill.
1391
01:08:14,674 --> 01:08:16,107
Coming right up.
1392
01:08:16,140 --> 01:08:17,507
I didn't mean to make
you jealous.
1393
01:08:17,541 --> 01:08:18,306
Of what?
1394
01:08:18,340 --> 01:08:19,306
You know what?
1395
01:08:19,340 --> 01:08:20,380
This is a good time to go.
1396
01:08:20,407 --> 01:08:21,174
I'm good.
1397
01:08:21,207 --> 01:08:23,107
Oh, there he is.
1398
01:09:22,574 --> 01:09:24,507
I'm all out of sausage.
1399
01:09:24,541 --> 01:09:27,940
I hope you brought your hot,
throbbing co-
1400
01:09:30,574 --> 01:09:33,007
What am I doing?
1401
01:10:34,007 --> 01:10:35,275
Thank you.
1402
01:10:35,307 --> 01:10:37,007
We'll be in touch.
1403
01:10:38,607 --> 01:10:40,140
It's that way.
1404
01:10:47,707 --> 01:10:49,208
Priscilla, it's me.
1405
01:10:49,241 --> 01:10:51,340
So the audition went great.
1406
01:10:51,374 --> 01:10:52,541
I did it!
1407
01:10:52,574 --> 01:10:55,073
I finally crossed something
big off one of my lists.
1408
01:10:55,107 --> 01:10:57,241
Ah, I feel amazing.
1409
01:11:12,275 --> 01:11:14,040
Jeff's getting married?
1410
01:11:14,073 --> 01:11:16,275
And he's inviting you?
1411
01:11:16,307 --> 01:11:18,541
And this is his idea of
a wedding invitation?
1412
01:11:18,574 --> 01:11:20,340
Talk about no taste.
1413
01:11:20,374 --> 01:11:21,507
It gets worse.
1414
01:11:21,541 --> 01:11:22,641
Don't even.
1415
01:11:22,674 --> 01:11:24,107
He wants you to play
at the wedding.
1416
01:11:24,140 --> 01:11:25,107
Us.
1417
01:11:25,141 --> 01:11:25,674
Yeah.
1418
01:11:25,707 --> 01:11:26,607
He wants the quartet.
1419
01:11:26,641 --> 01:11:27,973
Well, we're not doing that.
1420
01:11:28,007 --> 01:11:29,083
And I don't even understand,
1421
01:11:29,107 --> 01:11:30,617
why would he want you to be
there at the wedding?
1422
01:11:30,641 --> 01:11:31,841
Maybe he feels guilty.
1423
01:11:31,874 --> 01:11:34,973
I don't know, maybe he feels
like he's doing me a big favour.
1424
01:11:35,007 --> 01:11:36,107
How is this a favour?
1425
01:11:36,141 --> 01:11:37,441
The girl's family is loaded.
1426
01:11:37,474 --> 01:11:40,441
Ok, so we're absolutely
doing it.
1427
01:11:40,474 --> 01:11:42,340
But Jeff is a tool.
1428
01:11:42,374 --> 01:11:44,208
And not a sharp one.
1429
01:11:45,374 --> 01:11:46,641
Do you know, Luce, when
1430
01:11:46,674 --> 01:11:50,507
when Sharon left me
for Jennifer...
1431
01:11:50,541 --> 01:11:53,175
it was more the rejection
that hurt.
1432
01:11:53,208 --> 01:11:54,574
Not necessarily her leaving.
1433
01:11:54,607 --> 01:11:57,407
Honestly, I don't really care
about Jeff leaving.
1434
01:11:57,441 --> 01:11:58,683
And who wants to have
super lame sex
1435
01:11:58,707 --> 01:12:00,441
the rest of their life, anyway?
1436
01:12:00,474 --> 01:12:01,541
I do.
1437
01:12:01,574 --> 01:12:05,707
Lame sex, virtual sex,
the faint possibility of sex,
1438
01:12:05,741 --> 01:12:07,750
any of which would be more
than I'm currently getting.
1439
01:12:07,774 --> 01:12:09,583
I can't even get my hand
to have sex with me any more.
1440
01:12:09,607 --> 01:12:12,040
Yeah, well, maybe if you dressed
up your hand like a redhead
1441
01:12:12,073 --> 01:12:14,574
who cooks, loves musicals,
and has a PhD...
1442
01:12:14,607 --> 01:12:16,641
I'm sad to report
that my standards
1443
01:12:16,674 --> 01:12:18,674
have dropped somewhat
significantly.
1444
01:12:18,707 --> 01:12:19,507
Oh yeah?
1445
01:12:19,541 --> 01:12:21,040
Well, what is your type
these days?
1446
01:12:21,073 --> 01:12:22,541
Willing.
1447
01:12:23,674 --> 01:12:24,541
And I've got to go to Vegas
for a bachelor party.
1448
01:12:24,574 --> 01:12:27,208
I swear, all those boobs
I can't touch
1449
01:12:27,241 --> 01:12:28,674
might just be the end of me.
1450
01:12:28,707 --> 01:12:30,641
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
no one over the age of two
1451
01:12:30,674 --> 01:12:33,607
has ever died from lack of boob.
1452
01:12:33,641 --> 01:12:34,441
That's a valid point.
1453
01:12:34,474 --> 01:12:36,707
Wait a second,
when are you leaving?
1454
01:12:36,741 --> 01:12:37,607
For Vegas?
1455
01:12:37,641 --> 01:12:38,607
Yeah.
1456
01:12:38,641 --> 01:12:40,674
Tomorrow, why?
1457
01:12:40,707 --> 01:12:42,307
Because I need to finish my list
1458
01:12:42,340 --> 01:12:43,650
and there's this Vegas thing
on there.
1459
01:12:43,674 --> 01:12:45,607
No, no, no, you need
to finish it
1460
01:12:45,641 --> 01:12:47,007
because Jeff's getting married.
1461
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:47,973
No, I-
1462
01:12:48,007 --> 01:12:49,217
Besides, Grant's gonna be there.
1463
01:12:49,241 --> 01:12:50,617
I don't care if Grant's
gonna be there.
1464
01:12:50,641 --> 01:12:53,108
I just need to finish my list,
alright?
1465
01:12:53,141 --> 01:12:55,307
And you're gonna help me.
1466
01:12:55,340 --> 01:12:56,340
So just embarrassing me
1467
01:12:56,374 --> 01:12:58,474
at the strip club wasn't enough
for you, was it?
1468
01:12:58,507 --> 01:12:59,674
This'll be so much better.
1469
01:12:59,707 --> 01:13:00,507
Will it be, though?
1470
01:13:00,541 --> 01:13:01,541
Yeah.
1471
01:13:02,407 --> 01:13:04,241
Could I get more needles
in here, please?
1472
01:13:04,275 --> 01:13:05,574
Tensing up!
1473
01:13:41,641 --> 01:13:43,307
You need to have sex.
1474
01:13:43,340 --> 01:13:45,141
And I have to finish my list.
1475
01:13:45,175 --> 01:13:46,607
So it's a win-win.
1476
01:13:46,641 --> 01:13:47,774
For losers.
1477
01:13:47,808 --> 01:13:50,507
So I'm not sure we come out
on the right side of this.
1478
01:13:50,541 --> 01:13:51,674
Ok.
1479
01:13:51,707 --> 01:13:54,275
Here is who's working today.
1480
01:13:56,340 --> 01:13:57,241
Nope.
1481
01:13:57,275 --> 01:13:58,275
Can't do it.
1482
01:13:58,307 --> 01:13:58,973
Do you know what?
1483
01:13:59,008 --> 01:14:00,208
They're probably all diseased.
1484
01:14:00,241 --> 01:14:02,283
No, you're more likely to catch
something in a sorority house.
1485
01:14:02,307 --> 01:14:03,507
See?
1486
01:14:03,541 --> 01:14:06,108
Here is a whole information
sheet about their weekly tests,
1487
01:14:06,141 --> 01:14:08,074
how they check each customer
for symptoms,
1488
01:14:08,108 --> 01:14:11,541
and clean everyone's genitals
with anti-bacterial-
1489
01:14:11,574 --> 01:14:13,217
How about we don't use
the word "genitals"?
1490
01:14:13,241 --> 01:14:14,750
Will you please just go
in there and do the deed
1491
01:14:14,774 --> 01:14:15,974
so you can report back?
1492
01:14:16,008 --> 01:14:18,017
Why don't you just go inside
and do the deed and report back?
1493
01:14:18,041 --> 01:14:19,984
Because they don't service
lesbians or straight girls
1494
01:14:20,008 --> 01:14:21,340
who like sex with women.
1495
01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:23,541
How do you know they
don't service women?
1496
01:14:23,574 --> 01:14:26,340
Oh my god, you called
and asked for yourself.
1497
01:14:26,374 --> 01:14:28,974
You really have
turned over a new leaf.
1498
01:14:29,008 --> 01:14:32,374
Look, you buy women
nice dinners all the time
1499
01:14:32,407 --> 01:14:33,650
hoping to get sex out of it,
correct?
1500
01:14:33,674 --> 01:14:35,407
What?
1501
01:14:35,441 --> 01:14:36,507
Pfff.
1502
01:14:38,507 --> 01:14:39,175
I- I do.
1503
01:14:39,208 --> 01:14:40,374
Yeah.
1504
01:14:40,407 --> 01:14:43,541
So that's just a more honest
side of the exact same coin,
1505
01:14:43,574 --> 01:14:46,275
and it's perfectly natural.
1506
01:14:47,275 --> 01:14:49,407
I'm not going in there alone.
1507
01:14:49,441 --> 01:14:52,074
Well, great, let's get in there.
1508
01:14:52,108 --> 01:14:54,441
Called my bluff.
1509
01:14:56,774 --> 01:14:58,707
Oh boy, this is happening.
1510
01:15:01,141 --> 01:15:02,641
Sweetheart.
1511
01:15:02,674 --> 01:15:04,241
You worry too much.
1512
01:15:04,275 --> 01:15:07,074
I told you there'd be other
normal people here.
1513
01:15:07,108 --> 01:15:08,208
Howdy, fellas.
1514
01:15:08,241 --> 01:15:09,974
How y'all doin' today?
1515
01:15:10,008 --> 01:15:12,674
We're here to get her some,
if you know what I mean.
1516
01:15:12,707 --> 01:15:15,175
Ain't that right, honey bunch?
1517
01:15:15,208 --> 01:15:17,574
It's a perfectly natural thing.
1518
01:15:17,607 --> 01:15:19,974
What dialect is that?
1519
01:15:20,008 --> 01:15:21,141
Is it not southern?
1520
01:15:21,175 --> 01:15:22,507
Not at all.
1521
01:15:22,541 --> 01:15:24,707
And just to be clear,
this is already not worth it.
1522
01:15:24,741 --> 01:15:27,507
Just so we are clear, am I to
share your girl or get my own?
1523
01:15:27,541 --> 01:15:30,441
I mean, we've not really worked
out any of the details here.
1524
01:15:32,108 --> 01:15:33,208
Oh.
1525
01:15:34,774 --> 01:15:36,141
Interesting.
1526
01:15:36,707 --> 01:15:39,707
Ladies? Please say hello.
1527
01:15:40,607 --> 01:15:43,474
Just like that, here they come,
down the staircase.
1528
01:15:43,507 --> 01:15:45,574
Oh, that's a nice dress.
1529
01:15:46,541 --> 01:15:47,941
Thank you.
1530
01:15:48,407 --> 01:15:50,008
I need to go to the bathroom.
1531
01:15:50,041 --> 01:15:53,208
I can't do this.
1532
01:15:53,241 --> 01:15:54,374
I'm so, so sorry.
1533
01:15:54,407 --> 01:15:55,407
May I squeeze through?
1534
01:15:55,441 --> 01:15:57,474
Good luck.
1535
01:15:58,175 --> 01:16:00,307
What happened to your boyfriend?
1536
01:16:00,340 --> 01:16:02,507
Oh, no, he's not my boyfriend.
1537
01:16:02,541 --> 01:16:06,474
He's more of a colleague.
1538
01:16:06,507 --> 01:16:08,407
Excuse me, doll?
1539
01:16:08,441 --> 01:16:11,208
We don't service
single women here.
1540
01:16:11,241 --> 01:16:15,307
Actually, I want to apply
for a job.
1541
01:16:16,340 --> 01:16:17,507
As...?
1542
01:16:17,541 --> 01:16:19,507
As a... you know,
1543
01:16:19,541 --> 01:16:22,208
what they are-do.
1544
01:16:23,441 --> 01:16:26,108
You want to be a working girl.
1545
01:16:26,141 --> 01:16:27,507
Yeah.
1546
01:16:35,441 --> 01:16:36,707
How'd it go?
1547
01:16:36,741 --> 01:16:40,275
Well, I applied to be
one of the girls.
1548
01:16:40,307 --> 01:16:41,441
I'm sorry, what?
1549
01:16:41,474 --> 01:16:44,108
Well, I didn't get the job,
obviously.
1550
01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:45,340
So quick question.
1551
01:16:45,374 --> 01:16:46,674
When I tell the story later,
1552
01:16:46,707 --> 01:16:48,251
which do you think is going
to be better?
1553
01:16:48,275 --> 01:16:50,008
The fact that you applied
to be a prostitute
1554
01:16:50,041 --> 01:16:51,374
or that you didn't get the job?
1555
01:16:51,407 --> 01:16:53,041
Anyway, I'm really sorry
1556
01:16:53,074 --> 01:16:54,417
that you're late for
your bachelor party.
1557
01:16:54,441 --> 01:16:55,175
No, that's alright.
1558
01:16:55,208 --> 01:16:56,108
I'll just tell them the truth,
1559
01:16:56,141 --> 01:16:58,208
that you got hung up
at a job interview.
1560
01:16:58,241 --> 01:16:59,507
I'm just teasing.
1561
01:16:59,541 --> 01:17:01,340
They'd be lucky to have you.
1562
01:17:01,374 --> 01:17:02,507
Thank you.
1563
01:17:18,074 --> 01:17:19,175
Here we are?
1564
01:17:19,208 --> 01:17:21,607
Well, I mean, are you sure you
don't wanna come along?
1565
01:17:21,641 --> 01:17:23,474
You can always be the
entertainment package.
1566
01:17:23,507 --> 01:17:26,074
No, I'm just gonna
wander around.
1567
01:17:26,108 --> 01:17:26,909
Alright.
1568
01:17:26,941 --> 01:17:28,441
All I want right now
is a quiet bar
1569
01:17:28,474 --> 01:17:30,974
and an artfully
crafted cocktail.
1570
01:17:31,008 --> 01:17:31,574
Fair enough.
1571
01:17:31,607 --> 01:17:32,241
Have fun!
1572
01:17:32,275 --> 01:17:33,574
Alright, have a good night!
1573
01:17:35,441 --> 01:17:37,374
Woooo!
1574
01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:42,574
Yes!
1575
01:17:43,374 --> 01:17:44,574
That's strong.
1576
01:17:44,607 --> 01:17:46,208
Let's take a picture.
1577
01:17:46,407 --> 01:17:47,707
My new friends.
1578
01:17:47,741 --> 01:17:50,241
One, two, three.
1579
01:17:52,407 --> 01:17:53,674
Alright, Vegas.
1580
01:17:53,707 --> 01:17:56,541
Welcome to karaoke night
at the Blue Saloon.
1581
01:17:56,574 --> 01:17:58,541
Up next we've got...
1582
01:18:00,607 --> 01:18:02,307
Lucy Neal.
1583
01:18:02,340 --> 01:18:03,307
Come on up.
1584
01:18:03,340 --> 01:18:04,307
What?
1585
01:18:04,340 --> 01:18:05,340
Oh, no.
1586
01:18:05,374 --> 01:18:07,108
No, I didn't sign up.
1587
01:18:07,141 --> 01:18:09,307
Well, someone put your name
in there.
1588
01:18:10,340 --> 01:18:14,008
Well... actually, I don't sing.
1589
01:18:14,041 --> 01:18:15,275
What do you do, then?
1590
01:18:15,307 --> 01:18:19,742
I'm a violinist?
1591
01:18:19,775 --> 01:18:21,340
Oh.
1592
01:18:22,641 --> 01:18:24,008
Well then why don't
you come down
1593
01:18:24,041 --> 01:18:24,974
and play some violin for us?
1594
01:18:25,008 --> 01:18:25,407
Oh, no, no, no.
1595
01:18:25,441 --> 01:18:26,074
No, I'm good.
1596
01:18:26,108 --> 01:18:27,108
Thank you.
1597
01:18:27,141 --> 01:18:28,316
Come on, there's only like
five people in here.
1598
01:18:28,340 --> 01:18:29,641
What've you got to lose?
1599
01:18:29,674 --> 01:18:31,241
Get up here, have some fun.
1600
01:18:31,742 --> 01:18:33,108
Crap.
1601
01:18:33,340 --> 01:18:34,574
Ok.
1602
01:18:36,108 --> 01:18:38,141
Not cool, guys.
1603
01:18:39,008 --> 01:18:40,241
Give it up for Lucy.
1604
01:18:43,507 --> 01:18:45,641
I play classical mostly.
1605
01:18:45,674 --> 01:18:46,507
Don't worry about it.
1606
01:18:46,541 --> 01:18:48,017
Just play along.
We're in the key of G.
1607
01:18:48,041 --> 01:18:48,541
It's an original.
1608
01:18:48,574 --> 01:18:50,008
There's your bow.
1609
01:18:52,175 --> 01:18:53,441
Are you guys ready?
1610
01:19:28,307 --> 01:19:33,041
♪ Hello my lovely baby,
I want you near, ♪
1611
01:19:33,074 --> 01:19:35,241
♪ I see you walking
through my door, ♪
1612
01:19:35,275 --> 01:19:36,742
♪ And it is clear, ♪
1613
01:19:36,775 --> 01:19:41,307
♪ I need you more and more,
don't I? ♪
1614
01:19:41,340 --> 01:19:45,340
♪ I want you more and more
in my life, ♪
1615
01:19:45,374 --> 01:19:48,675
♪ So come on in, ♪
1616
01:20:05,307 --> 01:20:07,175
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1617
01:20:07,208 --> 01:20:10,208
♪ I feel I'm getting cold, ♪
1618
01:20:14,141 --> 01:20:16,275
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1619
01:20:16,307 --> 01:20:19,407
♪ I feel my heart
in my soul, ♪
1620
01:20:21,642 --> 01:20:22,974
♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪
1621
01:20:23,008 --> 01:20:24,742
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1622
01:20:24,775 --> 01:20:27,307
♪ Wake me up in my soul, ♪
1623
01:20:31,175 --> 01:20:33,340
♪ Wake me up baby, ♪
1624
01:20:33,374 --> 01:20:36,340
♪ I feel my heart's
getting cold, ♪
1625
01:20:36,374 --> 01:20:37,417
♪ I don't wanna get cold, ♪
1626
01:20:37,441 --> 01:20:38,374
♪ Now, warm me up, ♪
1627
01:20:38,407 --> 01:20:40,541
♪ warm me up, warm me up, ♪
1628
01:20:42,407 --> 01:20:46,507
♪ And I am fallin' fallin'
fallin' for you so I, ♪
1629
01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:48,574
♪ Realize I that
I am old and, ♪
1630
01:20:48,608 --> 01:20:53,074
♪ Suddenly it seems
everyone has left me, ♪
1631
01:20:53,108 --> 01:20:56,108
♪ Suddenly as it seems
as the future's ♪
1632
01:20:56,141 --> 01:20:59,141
♪ right in front of me ♪
1633
01:21:02,175 --> 01:21:02,675
Yeah!
1634
01:21:02,708 --> 01:21:03,974
Alright, Lucy!
1635
01:21:05,241 --> 01:21:06,974
Yeah.
1636
01:21:07,008 --> 01:21:09,175
Well done.
1637
01:21:09,208 --> 01:21:11,275
Alright, let's see
who's up next.
1638
01:21:11,307 --> 01:21:13,974
Anyone else have any
hidden talents out there?
1639
01:21:16,307 --> 01:21:17,608
What're you doing here?
1640
01:21:17,642 --> 01:21:21,307
Shouldn't you be at the bachelor
party with Paul?
1641
01:21:21,340 --> 01:21:24,108
Paul showed me the picture
you texted him
1642
01:21:24,141 --> 01:21:27,374
of you and the posse
of Harvard boys.
1643
01:21:27,407 --> 01:21:28,575
I recognized the bar so-
1644
01:21:28,608 --> 01:21:29,307
What, so you-
1645
01:21:29,340 --> 01:21:31,208
Thought I'd come looking
for you.
1646
01:21:31,241 --> 01:21:33,708
Please tell me you've got
better than that.
1647
01:21:37,474 --> 01:21:39,417
How about I tell you how sorry
I am that I fell off
1648
01:21:39,441 --> 01:21:41,474
the face of the earth?
1649
01:21:43,175 --> 01:21:44,441
I was an idiot.
1650
01:21:44,474 --> 01:21:47,208
Why didn't you call?
1651
01:21:47,241 --> 01:21:49,441
A bunch of reasons.
1652
01:21:49,474 --> 01:21:51,241
None of them good.
1653
01:21:53,074 --> 01:21:54,141
Ok, look.
1654
01:21:54,175 --> 01:21:55,584
This has been fun and thank you
for whatever this is
1655
01:21:55,608 --> 01:21:56,275
but I am not-
1656
01:21:56,307 --> 01:21:57,340
But-but wait.
1657
01:21:57,374 --> 01:22:00,208
Can I just have one second?
1658
01:22:00,241 --> 01:22:04,441
Meeting you was a big surprise.
1659
01:22:04,474 --> 01:22:09,275
And then I realized how much
I really liked you.
1660
01:22:09,307 --> 01:22:10,307
But then I-I just-
1661
01:22:10,340 --> 01:22:13,141
Decided to show your
considerable appreciation
1662
01:22:13,175 --> 01:22:17,108
by sleeping with me
and then running out?
1663
01:22:17,141 --> 01:22:19,575
It's just-it's a scary
proposition.
1664
01:22:19,608 --> 01:22:20,441
What's scary?
1665
01:22:20,474 --> 01:22:21,008
I'm scary?
1666
01:22:21,041 --> 01:22:24,008
What is scary about me?
1667
01:22:27,275 --> 01:22:32,074
For starters, you're
obsessed with sex.
1668
01:22:36,675 --> 01:22:42,374
Look, you came around
at a really weird time.
1669
01:22:42,407 --> 01:22:44,441
And I know the list is bizarre
1670
01:22:44,475 --> 01:22:48,108
but I've got something
important to prove.
1671
01:22:48,141 --> 01:22:49,307
Prove what? To who?
1672
01:22:49,340 --> 01:22:51,108
To myself.
1673
01:22:53,775 --> 01:23:00,340
I guess... I need to prove
to myself that I'm enough.
1674
01:23:09,208 --> 01:23:11,374
Leaving like that was a mistake.
1675
01:23:11,407 --> 01:23:14,708
Not calling you was a mistake.
1676
01:23:14,742 --> 01:23:17,675
Will you please forgive me?
1677
01:23:35,275 --> 01:23:36,442
Sorry.
1678
01:23:41,708 --> 01:23:42,175
Woah, woah, woah.
1679
01:23:42,208 --> 01:23:43,175
Wait. Wait. Stop.
1680
01:23:43,208 --> 01:23:43,909
Stop?
1681
01:23:43,941 --> 01:23:46,175
I don't wanna hurt the baby.
1682
01:23:46,208 --> 01:23:47,742
What?
1683
01:23:47,775 --> 01:23:52,041
I'm not pregnant.
1684
01:23:52,074 --> 01:23:53,340
I beg your pardon?
1685
01:23:53,374 --> 01:23:54,074
Wait-
1686
01:23:54,108 --> 01:23:55,175
You're not?
1687
01:23:55,208 --> 01:23:57,708
I know-I know
I've been emotional
1688
01:23:57,742 --> 01:24:00,475
and like I'm craving some weird
stuff, but oh my-oh my god,
1689
01:24:00,508 --> 01:24:01,108
do I look pregnant?
1690
01:24:01,141 --> 01:24:02,074
No, no, no.
1691
01:24:02,108 --> 01:24:02,875
You're not emotional.
1692
01:24:02,909 --> 01:24:04,149
You look stunning and beautiful.
1693
01:24:04,175 --> 01:24:10,175
It's at your house you had
maternity pants on the chair.
1694
01:24:10,208 --> 01:24:12,675
Honestly, I saw the pants
and I freaked out
1695
01:24:12,708 --> 01:24:14,974
and that's why I left.
1696
01:24:15,008 --> 01:24:17,141
Oh my god.
1697
01:24:17,175 --> 01:24:19,141
What?
1698
01:24:19,175 --> 01:24:20,108
Oh my god.
1699
01:24:20,141 --> 01:24:23,642
You left because you thought
I was pregnant?
1700
01:24:23,675 --> 01:24:25,141
It's a scary proposition.
1701
01:24:34,508 --> 01:24:36,008
Wait.
1702
01:24:37,108 --> 01:24:40,475
You thought that and you
still wanted to be with me.
1703
01:24:50,375 --> 01:24:51,742
We like the same books.
1704
01:24:53,275 --> 01:24:55,041
Not in the same order.
1705
01:24:55,074 --> 01:24:56,141
You're right.
1706
01:24:56,175 --> 01:24:58,307
It's never gonna work.
1707
01:25:25,008 --> 01:25:25,974
Luce, it's Paul.
1708
01:25:26,008 --> 01:25:26,675
You're never gonna believe this.
1709
01:25:26,708 --> 01:25:27,785
I've met the girl of my dreams.
1710
01:25:27,809 --> 01:25:30,275
Her name is Destiny and yes,
she is a stripper.
1711
01:25:30,308 --> 01:25:31,974
Let me tell you...
1712
01:25:35,074 --> 01:25:36,742
Lucy, Howard Gregson.
1713
01:25:36,775 --> 01:25:39,974
Our committee loved
your audition but ultimately
1714
01:25:40,008 --> 01:25:42,442
decided your playing
is too expansive.
1715
01:25:42,475 --> 01:25:45,175
A hair uninhibited
for our conductor.
1716
01:25:45,208 --> 01:25:48,008
But I think your skills
are just a bit misplaced.
1717
01:25:48,041 --> 01:25:50,008
To that end I have an
opportunity coming up
1718
01:25:50,041 --> 01:25:51,675
in a couple of weeks.
1719
01:26:18,708 --> 01:26:19,718
You all ready for the wedding?
1720
01:26:19,742 --> 01:26:23,041
Yes, but there's something
we need to do first.
1721
01:26:32,041 --> 01:26:33,718
Well, you've still got one
more thing on your list.
1722
01:26:33,742 --> 01:26:35,208
Oh.
1723
01:26:35,242 --> 01:26:36,375
Yes, I do.
1724
01:26:36,408 --> 01:26:37,974
Let's go.
1725
01:26:45,242 --> 01:26:45,775
There you go.
1726
01:26:45,809 --> 01:26:46,742
Thank you guys so much.
1727
01:26:46,775 --> 01:26:48,308
Thank you.
1728
01:26:50,141 --> 01:26:51,175
Who can I make it out to?
1729
01:26:51,208 --> 01:26:52,074
Lucy.
1730
01:26:52,108 --> 01:26:54,008
Yeah, she's a big fan.
1731
01:26:54,041 --> 01:26:56,041
How do I spell that?
1732
01:26:57,742 --> 01:27:00,642
Actually, there's a much
bigger fan
1733
01:27:00,675 --> 01:27:03,408
that you should make this
out to.
1734
01:27:05,742 --> 01:27:09,108
I mean, this is just so Jeff.
1735
01:27:10,608 --> 01:27:11,708
Care to dance?
1736
01:27:11,742 --> 01:27:13,941
Yes, I would love to.
1737
01:27:33,276 --> 01:27:35,242
Ok, Stan.
1738
01:27:35,276 --> 01:27:36,675
Woo!
1739
01:27:36,708 --> 01:27:37,276
There she is.
1740
01:27:37,308 --> 01:27:39,141
Here, come on. Switch.
1741
01:27:39,176 --> 01:27:40,341
Oh.
1742
01:27:41,276 --> 01:27:42,508
Congratulations.
1743
01:27:42,542 --> 01:27:43,242
Oh, thanks.
1744
01:27:43,276 --> 01:27:45,041
And thanks for playing for us.
1745
01:27:45,074 --> 01:27:47,242
The force is strong with you.
1746
01:27:50,875 --> 01:27:52,209
Mind if I...?
1747
01:27:53,242 --> 01:27:54,608
That's cool.
1748
01:27:56,308 --> 01:27:58,276
Thanks for doing this.
1749
01:27:58,308 --> 01:28:00,008
The price was right.
1750
01:28:00,041 --> 01:28:00,909
Is that the only reason?
1751
01:28:00,941 --> 01:28:05,142
No. Well, maybe.
Ok, yes. It was. But...
1752
01:28:05,176 --> 01:28:06,074
Ok.
1753
01:28:06,108 --> 01:28:07,642
I'm glad I did.
1754
01:28:07,675 --> 01:28:08,608
I'm glad we're good.
1755
01:28:08,642 --> 01:28:10,242
Me too.
1756
01:28:10,276 --> 01:28:11,242
I gotta ask you.
1757
01:28:11,276 --> 01:28:15,675
Whatever happened
to that list you had?
1758
01:28:15,708 --> 01:28:17,675
The interesting one?
1759
01:28:17,708 --> 01:28:20,542
Wait until you see the wedding
gift I got for you.
1760
01:28:37,308 --> 01:28:39,608
I can't find it.
1761
01:28:39,642 --> 01:28:43,209
That's because it's right here.
1762
01:28:45,008 --> 01:28:48,209
And I can't wait to give it
to you.
1763
01:28:57,475 --> 01:28:58,708
I'm... married.
1764
01:28:58,742 --> 01:29:00,575
I'm-I got married.
1765
01:29:00,608 --> 01:29:03,242
I'm married today.
1766
01:29:05,742 --> 01:29:07,742
Thank you so much
for doing this.
1767
01:29:07,775 --> 01:29:09,308
What can I say?
1768
01:29:09,341 --> 01:29:10,575
I believe in love.
1769
01:29:10,608 --> 01:29:12,708
Luce, all the bridesmaids
are twerking
1770
01:29:12,742 --> 01:29:14,176
on the dance floor...
1771
01:29:16,276 --> 01:29:17,142
I'm Paul.
1772
01:29:17,176 --> 01:29:19,675
I'm Honey.
1773
01:29:19,708 --> 01:29:22,608
Delighted.
1774
01:29:22,642 --> 01:29:24,109
Are you gonna ask me to dance?
1775
01:29:24,142 --> 01:29:25,109
Yes, yes I am.
1776
01:29:25,142 --> 01:29:26,675
Right this way, please.
1777
01:29:36,041 --> 01:29:37,341
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
1778
01:29:37,375 --> 01:29:40,041
there's only a few songs left
so get out on the dance floor.
1779
01:29:40,075 --> 01:29:43,008
Let's celebrate
Jeff and Anne tonight.
1780
01:29:43,041 --> 01:29:44,642
Let's send them off with style.
1781
01:29:44,675 --> 01:29:48,341
Don't forget to tip
your bartender.
1782
01:30:04,408 --> 01:30:05,408
What?
118089
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof