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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. World of Warcraft - Outland PVP (EU) - Torporr (name) 2 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:23,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,000 Go, Hayley. 4 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,100 Seven minutes. 5 00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,000 Go get 'em, cowboy. 6 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:03,100 See you in seven minutes. 7 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,900 Stu, run it by me again. 8 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,600 Kissing is first base. 9 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:12,000 Second base is boob. 10 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,600 - Third base is- - Finger. 11 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,200 - Finger? - Or thumb. 12 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,500 Okay. 13 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,900 Charlie, trust me. 14 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,500 Second base is what it's all about. 15 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,100 I'm all about the boobies. 16 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,200 Okay. Anything else? 17 00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,900 An intentional walk is a kiss on the cheek. 18 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,300 An inside park home run is a blow job. 19 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:32,600 What's a blow job? 20 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,300 I have no idea, 21 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,800 but I overheard my dad saying 22 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,700 that he gets one once a year on his birthday. 23 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,700 So it must be good. 24 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,800 Yeah! 25 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,700 You, me. 26 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,000 Closet. 27 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,300 Seven minutes. 28 00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,300 Heaven. 29 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:01,800 He's so gross. 30 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:05,700 Sorry, Jennifer. 31 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:14,800 Stop. 32 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:16,200 Don't touch me. 33 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:17,900 Stand on that side of the closet, 34 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,100 and I'll say we kissed. 35 00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:22,200 I will... if you say we did the nasty. 36 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,100 No. I'll say we kissed. 37 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,300 Say I touched your boobies. 38 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,300 No! I'll say we kissed. 39 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,300 Okay. 40 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,100 I kissed your boobies. 41 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,600 Anisha! 42 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,500 Stop staring. You're freaking me out. 43 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,300 I'm looking at you 'cause I like you, Charlie. 44 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,700 It's okay. 45 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,400 Come on. You can do what you want. 46 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:16,300 That's okay. I'm kind of new at this. 47 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,800 Let me see your penis. 48 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,400 What's the matter? Don't you want me? 49 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,300 Oh, my God! 50 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,900 That's my boy. 51 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,200 He's probably blow-jobbing her. 52 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,300 Anisha! I can't breathe! 53 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,500 I love you, Charlie. 54 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,600 I've loved you since the third grade. 55 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,300 Um... thank you? 56 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,100 So you like to play hard to get. 57 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,100 Back off! 58 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,700 I've read in my mom's Cosmo 59 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,100 this is supposed to increase pleasure. 60 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,200 Don't worry. This is my first time, too. 61 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,300 First time what, killing? 62 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,800 No, Charlie. Making love. 63 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,400 Get off me, you freak! 64 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,800 Charlie Logan, you are not my boyfriend anymore. 65 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,000 I hex you! 66 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,300 You what? 67 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,700 I hex you. You will never be happy. 68 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,200 Around you love will fall like rain. 69 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:20,300 But you won't hold it. Your heart will pain! 70 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,200 Once the girl has been with you, 71 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,700 to the next she will be true! 72 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,000 Was that Phil Collins? 73 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,700 What happened? 74 00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:38,700 Did you thumb her? 75 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,300 Charlie, we could get arrested for public indecency. 76 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,100 I like the way you think. 77 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,300 Okay. 78 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,500 All right! 79 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,000 Oh, my- Oh, my God, Carol. 80 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,200 I love you. 81 00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:37,600 I love you! 82 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,700 Thank you. 83 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,400 I love you, Charlie. 84 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,500 Oh, that's nice. 85 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,300 "That's nice"? 86 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,300 I'm licking the sand off your balls, 87 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,500 and you say, "That's nice"? 88 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,700 No, I said, "Oh, my God" to that. 89 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,200 I said, "Oh, my God" very enthusiastically about the ball lick. 90 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,700 Hey, listen, I'm sorry. 91 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,700 I just don't think the "L" word should be thrown around casually. 92 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,400 The "L" word? What are you, eight? 93 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,700 How about the "F" word and the "you" word? 94 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,500 I can't believe you and Carol went belly-up, man. 95 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,800 She was so into you. 96 00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,700 Yeah, well, she was a, uh, noisy eater. 97 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,900 It's that word, Stu: love. 98 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,400 I wanted to say it, but I just- I couldn't. 99 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,900 How can I say something if I don't feel it? 100 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,900 Easy. Lie. 101 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,400 What do you think all relationships are based on, man? 102 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:48,500 Lies. 103 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,200 "No, honey, your ass looks great in those jeans. " 104 00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:53,900 "Honey, I love your parents. " 105 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,400 "You're kidding me. That sore right there? That's not herpes. " 106 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,600 You know what I'm saying? 107 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,900 So, then, who are you taking to Katie's wedding? 108 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,900 Oh, I don't know. You want to go? 109 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,500 Do bridesmaids give head in the coat room? 110 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,600 Of course I want to go! 111 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:09,400 You know how easy it is to score at a wedding? 112 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,900 Have you ever scored at a wedding? 113 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,800 Pacing myself. 114 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,500 Must be weird. 115 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,200 You were dating Katie six months ago, 116 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,800 and now she's marrying a doctor. 117 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:20,500 I'm a doctor. 118 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,600 He's a heart surgeon. You're a dentist. 119 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,700 It's like saying General Patton and Colonel Mustard 120 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,100 are both military men. 121 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,100 Hi, Dr. Stu. 122 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,200 Natalie. 123 00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,400 I jerk off to her mammograms. 124 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,500 God, I love my job. 125 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,100 Every day is like Christmas. 126 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,900 Who are you working over today? 127 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,500 Dr. Charlie, you're five minutes late! 128 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,300 You've got four fillings, three cleanings, 129 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,800 two crowns, and a canal. 130 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,300 You've got too many patients, 131 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,100 and I've got too little patience 132 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,600 for you to be gabbing gossip 133 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:00,600 with Dr. Boob Jobs in the hallway. 134 00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,200 How are you today, Reba? 135 00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:04,200 Were you just looking at my tits? 136 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,800 Because I am more than happy 137 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,500 with what the Lord Almighty gave me. 138 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,200 I wasn't looking at your- 139 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:11,800 Come on, Dr. Charlie. 140 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:25,400 I don't want anybody else 141 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:29,500 When I think about you, I rub myself 142 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:34,000 I don't want anybody else 143 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:38,000 When I think about you, I touch myself 144 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,400 You are what- 145 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,700 Okay, you're my wingman. 146 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,500 If the blonde asks, 147 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,000 I'm the billionaire who invented string cheese. 148 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,200 If it's that redhead, 149 00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,200 tell her I wrote "We Are the World. " 150 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,500 And, uh, if it's that cheerleader hottie over there, 151 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,800 my penis is in the Guinness Book of World Records: 152 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,100 girth, not length. 153 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,600 I want it to sound believable. 154 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,200 Holy shit. 155 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,300 Activate pelvis. 156 00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:16,800 Yo, yo, yo, hold on to your pantyhose. 157 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:19,500 The hostess with the mostest 158 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,100 has got a toastess. 159 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,200 I just want to thank everybody 160 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,400 for coming to share this day with us. 161 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,400 I couldn't imagine being any happier 162 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:35,900 than I am right now. 163 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000 Wait till tonight, sweetheart. 164 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,000 I know it's a little unorthodox, 165 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:44,000 but I'd also like to propose a toast... 166 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,600 to Charlie Logan. 167 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:52,700 Thank you, Charlie, for being my lucky charm. 168 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,700 To Charlie! 169 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,800 - To Charlie. - To Charlie. 170 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,300 So, you're that Charlie? 171 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,600 What Charlie? 172 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,000 You know, Charlie, the- the dentist. 173 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,500 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 174 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,100 - Oh, no. Are you okay? - That's horrible. 175 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,300 - I'm all right. - I didn't- I didn't mean to. 176 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,700 Sorry about that. 177 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,100 Oh, jeez. 178 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,600 Here you go. 179 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,900 - Thanks. - Sure. 180 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,700 Oh. There I am. 181 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,700 Join us. 182 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,500 So, what did I miss? 183 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:55,800 Not much. 184 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:57,700 Same old- I do, I do. 185 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,100 "You may kiss the bride. " 186 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,100 White cake with raspberry filling, 187 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,900 and the doves being released, 188 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,600 but the doves refuse to leave. 189 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,300 I'm Cam. I went to college with the bride. 190 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,600 I'm Charlie. I used to date the bride. 191 00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:13,700 Me, too. 192 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,900 Well, no. I mean, it was a one-time-only 193 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:19,500 experimental thing, sophomore year. 194 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,000 We were young. And drunk. 195 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,100 Is this person being dipped in acid? 196 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,900 Waiter, could we have some chloroform for the singer? 197 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,600 What are you going to sing? 198 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,700 I'm thinking about doing Bon Jovi "Livin' On a Prayer. " 199 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,300 Really? That's the one I was going to do. 200 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,700 - Oh, really? - No. 201 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,000 So, Cam, what do you do? 202 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,600 I run the Penguin Habitat at Aqua World. 203 00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:52,400 Seriously, what do you do? 204 00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:54,700 - Seriously? - Yeah. 205 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:55,800 I'm a serial killer. 206 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:58,000 My passion is killing people I meet at weddings. 207 00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,000 What do you do? 208 00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,600 FBl. You're under arrest. 209 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:03,700 Your run is over, Miss "Wexler," 210 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,000 if that's your real name. 211 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,600 Actually, I am a dentist. 212 00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:10,900 You're a dentist? 213 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,300 You'll love me. Perfect teeth. No cavities. 214 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,700 Want to see? 215 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,400 Oh, my! My legs! 216 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,500 I'm sorry. 217 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,600 Water! 218 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,400 Oh, no! 219 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:24,700 I'm sorry. 220 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,000 I'll just get in there and- 221 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:30,400 - That's all right. - I'm sorry. 222 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,200 Wait. Let me see, let me see. 223 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:35,500 - Thanks. - It looks like cum! 224 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:37,700 Well, here I am. 225 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,300 What are your other two wishes? 226 00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:43,100 Stu, Cam. Cam, Stu. 227 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,100 - Hi. - Hi. 228 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,600 It's actually Doctor Stu. 229 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,100 I'm a reconstructive surgeon. 230 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,900 If anyone has an accident or is born with a deformity, 231 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,600 I'm there to help. 232 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,900 And by deformity, he means small breasts. 233 00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:57,900 He's just jealous 234 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,200 because he has to clean plaque all day long 235 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:02,100 while I'm out making the world a better place. 236 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,900 Cam, you will not believe this doofus 237 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,800 that just tried to pick me up. 238 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,200 Oh. Hi. 239 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:10,200 Hi. 240 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,400 - Again. - Yeah. 241 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,900 Yeah. 242 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,200 I got to go. 243 00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:16,900 Nice to meet you. 244 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,200 Tits and teeth. 245 00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:25,300 I don't think she was into me. 246 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,700 Say, uh, ladies- 247 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:30,900 Hey, you. 248 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,400 Hey. 249 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,100 - You look great. - Thank you. 250 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,700 So do you. 251 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,100 So, how are you and Carol doing? 252 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,400 We're- 253 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,200 We're just giving each other a little space right now. 254 00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,600 I worry about you sometimes, Chuck. 255 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:51,300 Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. 256 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,100 It's better to have loved and lost 257 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,900 than to have never loved at all. 258 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:59,200 I'll buy that when you can honestly tell me that you have loved. 259 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:00,500 Touch�. 260 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,600 I just want to see you happy, Chuckles. 261 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:09,000 Attention, hot mamas. 262 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,800 Can we have all the single ladies 263 00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,700 out on the terrace for the tossing of the bride's bouquet? 264 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,000 See you. 265 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,100 Ready, ladies? 266 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,800 One! 267 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,100 Two! 268 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,700 Three! 269 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:51,600 Morning, Reba. 270 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,300 Good morning, Dr. Logan. 271 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:57,300 Good morning, Doctor. 272 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,300 I think I have a cavity. 273 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,800 Me, too. 274 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,800 - Hey, Sharon. Is Stu in? - Hi. 275 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,300 Sharon- Oh, Dr. Logan. 276 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,500 Can you come back here for a second, please? 277 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,600 Oh, I'm sorry. 278 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,800 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We need you. 279 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,800 Dr. Logan- 280 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,000 This is Pleasure. 281 00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,300 Nice to meet you. 282 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,200 The pleasure's all mine. 283 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:02,900 Get it? 284 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,700 "The pleasure's all mine"? 285 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,800 My name is Pleasure. 286 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:11,500 That is... enormously clever. 287 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,500 We need a second opinion. 288 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,900 What do you think? 289 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,400 Are they even? 290 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,600 So you knew they were even. 291 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,100 Of course they were even. I did them. 292 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,500 I just wanted you to see them 293 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,300 without having to pay for a lap dance. 294 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,400 How did you get a license to practice medicine? 295 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:28,800 You need a license? 296 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:32,500 Listen, have you noticed anything different about me? 297 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:36,000 Other than your aversion to fantastic, gigantic titties? 298 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,900 Women seem to be coming on to me 299 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,900 in an unusual manner. 300 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,400 Really? 301 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,100 That's crazy. 302 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,300 Charlie! Stuart. 303 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,600 Carol. 304 00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,100 Are these back in season again? 305 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,300 You're getting married. 306 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,700 What can I say? 307 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,900 I guess you are a lucky charm. 308 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,200 You have 14 new messages. 309 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,400 Message 1. 310 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:30,700 Hey, Charlie. My name's Nicole Adams. 311 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,900 You don't know me, 312 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,900 but I got your number from Amy in Radiology. 313 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000 I was wondering if we could meet up 314 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,300 for drinks one of these nights. 315 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,000 Hi, Charlie. My name's Julia. 316 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,800 I normally don't do this, but I'm desperate. Could you- 317 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,400 I'm not sure how you choose your dates, 318 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,800 but I'm 5'10", blonde- 319 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,400 Hello, Charlie. My name is Daisy. 320 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:51,000 Uh, actually in town- 321 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,300 Hi. My name is Bob. 322 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,500 No, it's not a wrong number. Hear me out. 323 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,500 Hi. This is Cindy. 324 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,800 I'm a friend of Katie's- 325 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:00,800 Hey, my name's Colleen- 326 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:03,300 Hey, there. We met at the gym. 327 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,400 StairMaster buddies? 328 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,100 Eat up, Shadow. 329 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,800 Last chance before bedtime. 330 00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,900 Good boy. 331 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,500 Grumpy, don't be a pig. 332 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,000 Don't be a pig. That's Chester's. 333 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,500 There you go. 334 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,900 Good boy. 335 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,300 Here, Dougie. Gobble it up. 336 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:31,300 Come here, Tina. 337 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,700 Grumpy, you're such a pig. 338 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,800 Joe, hurry up! 339 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,500 I want to go home. 340 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,000 Did you get lost back there? 341 00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,200 Sorry. 342 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:46,600 Just taking five... 343 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,700 hits from my bong. 344 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,200 If they catch you with weed, you're going to get fired. 345 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:53,800 They don't care that you're my brother. 346 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,300 Oh, take a chillaxitive. 347 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:58,000 How is anybody going to know? 348 00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,700 Maybe 'cause you smell like you've been bathing in bong water. 349 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,400 Sweet. 350 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:04,600 What's that in your pocket? 351 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,600 Oh, I was looking for this. 352 00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:12,100 Three months. 353 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,000 Hey, Skully. 354 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,800 Joe! Joe, I'm slipping! 355 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,500 And you think I look wasted. 356 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,400 Grumpy, no! 357 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000 You okay? 358 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,600 I think I chipped a tooth. 359 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,400 It's great to finally meet you. 360 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,500 Let me get that for you. 361 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,100 - Oh, thank you. - Sure. 362 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,000 - All right? - Yeah. 363 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:10,900 All right. 364 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:11,900 Are you ready? 365 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,400 Yeah, let's go. 366 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,400 Don't you want to, uh- 367 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,600 What? 368 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,100 I don't know, have dinner first? 369 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,000 Is that how this works? 370 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,300 How what works? 371 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,300 The thing. 372 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,000 The thing. The magic. 373 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,300 The charm. 374 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,800 Wait a second. 375 00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,400 Gretel, what the hell are you talking about? 376 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,700 You're a lucky charm. You have sex with someone, 377 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,600 and then they find their true love. 378 00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:45,900 Isn't that how it works? 379 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,100 Has everybody lost their minds? 380 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,200 That's ridiculous. That's absurd. 381 00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:50,700 Do you want top or bottom? 382 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,700 Put that back in your secret booby place. 383 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,800 That's- No. 384 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:57,000 I don't want to take advantage of you. 385 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,000 Look, don't take this so seriously. 386 00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:04,200 I'm certainly not. 387 00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,000 I'm doing this on a lark. 388 00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,600 And you won't be taking advantage of me. 389 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:11,700 Do you know how many loser boyfriends I have had? 390 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,400 Do you know how many times I have given myself- 391 00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,000 body, mind, soul- 392 00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:18,400 hoping that this was it, this was the one, 393 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:23,100 only to find out he was just another asshole? 394 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,000 Look, if there's a chance- 395 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:30,100 I mean even a. 0001 %%% chance that you're the key, 396 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,000 that being with you could open the door to something better, 397 00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:39,000 well, I think I'd be taking advantage of you. 398 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,100 Do you want to have sex before or after dinner? 399 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,700 Actually, I have dinner plans. 400 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,300 I got to get that. It's my emergency line. 401 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,300 Oh. Emergency. Now, that's sexy. 402 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,500 Dr. Logan speaking. 403 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,700 Hey, it's Cam Wexler. 404 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,800 Remember, from the wedding? 405 00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:00,800 The serial killer? 406 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,400 Yeah. Yeah, hi. 407 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:07,700 I'm sorry to bother you, 408 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,400 but I have a bit of a dental emergency. 409 00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,400 You don't have to make up stories, Cam. 410 00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:15,600 If you want to see me, all you have to do is ask. 411 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,400 No, seriously. I chipped a tooth, 412 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:18,500 and it's Saturday night, 413 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:20,800 and I don't know who else to call. 414 00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:22,400 Oh, you chipped a tooth? How? 415 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,500 I slipped while having a fish fight, 416 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,800 slid down an ice ramp, 417 00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:27,200 got tackled by a penguin, 418 00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:29,600 and fell face-first into a fake ice boulder. 419 00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:31,700 This is very common. 420 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,500 Do you know where my office is? 421 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,900 Yeah. I got your card right here. 422 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,700 I can be there in 20 minutes? 423 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,900 20 minutes. I'm leaving now. 424 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,300 Okay. 425 00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:56,100 Okay, all fixed. 426 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,600 Does that hurt? 427 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,300 Can you describe the penguin that attacked you? 428 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,700 Very funny. 429 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:03,900 You can rinse. 430 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,600 So what really happened? 431 00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:10,200 Did you get caught in the middle 432 00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:12,100 of some North Pole- South Pole gang war? 433 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,300 There are no penguins in the North Pole. 434 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,600 That's polar bears. 435 00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:17,800 You really are a penguin freak, aren't you? 436 00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:19,500 Oh, you have no idea. 437 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,600 Obsessed is putting it mildly. 438 00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,600 I believe you. 439 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,500 Oh, what's that? 440 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,000 Oh, I travel to Guatemala every year 441 00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:30,800 to help some of the poorer villagers. 442 00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:34,000 That's so sweet. 443 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,000 Sorry! 444 00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:39,700 Oh! Oh, no! They went in! 445 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:40,700 They're in there! 446 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,100 - What's in there? - The things! 447 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,700 Oh, here. 448 00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:46,100 Oh, I'm sorry. 449 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,600 This is bad. 450 00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:49,800 - You're hurt. - It's okay. 451 00:23:49,900 --> 00:23:51,200 I'm so sorry. 452 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,600 Should have worn that lead vest. 453 00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:55,800 Oh, this always happens to me. 454 00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:57,100 Are you okay? 455 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,300 Yes. Yeah, I'm fine. 456 00:23:58,500 --> 00:23:59,800 - You sure? - I feel good. 457 00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:03,700 Man. I hope you let me buy you a new shirt. 458 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,500 No. No, really. It's, uh, it's good. 459 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,300 But I hope you'll let me take you out to dinner... 460 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,400 sometime. 461 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,700 Trust me, you can do far more damage with a steak knife. 462 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,000 I'm sorry. I- I can't. 463 00:24:17,100 --> 00:24:19,200 How much do I owe you for the tooth? 464 00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:21,500 Wait a second. So you will draw first blood, 465 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,500 but you won't make it up to me? 466 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,200 Please, how much? 467 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,300 No. 468 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,900 Your money's no good here. 469 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,000 You sure? 470 00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:33,400 I will not accept that. 471 00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:35,500 Really? 472 00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:36,600 Thank you. 473 00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:37,600 Yes. 474 00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:40,400 - I'm sorry. - No. 475 00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:44,500 See you in six months for a routine stabbing. 476 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,200 - Bye. - Bye. 477 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,100 Change your mind? 478 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,700 My car won't start. 479 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:07,700 Sure it won't. 480 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,500 No, really. I left my lights on. 481 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,000 Fine. I'm pushing the car. 482 00:25:14,100 --> 00:25:16,300 No, no, no, wait. I want to jump you. 483 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:25,400 Now? 484 00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:28,100 Not now. Wait till I get this in here. 485 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,300 Now? 486 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,100 Oh! 487 00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:37,300 You okay? 488 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,400 Yep. 489 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:39,500 Let's- 490 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:40,700 I'm so sorry. 491 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,300 No, no. It's fine. It's good. 492 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,100 Cauterized my wounds. 493 00:25:46,700 --> 00:25:47,700 Thank you. 494 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,500 Thank you for fixing my tooth 495 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,800 and jumping my car. 496 00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:53,200 Don't mention it. 497 00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:00,500 And thank you for taking me home 498 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,600 to get my spare set of keys. 499 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,900 I have a feeling this kind of thing happens to you often. 500 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,600 My brother calls me Murphy. 501 00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:15,600 Murphy? 502 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,600 You know, like, Murphy's Law: 503 00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:19,500 anything that can go wrong, will. 504 00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:21,000 Details. 505 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:22,800 Check out the thumb. 506 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:25,200 Holy crap! 507 00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:27,300 What, did you get pissed off at a stamp? 508 00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:30,400 How many bones have you broken? 509 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:32,800 - 12. - 12 bones? 510 00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:35,500 I'm warning you, keep a safe distance. 511 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,200 Come on. I can't believe it's really that bad. 512 00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:40,300 Is this the heat? 513 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:41,400 No! 514 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,700 Convertible top. 515 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,800 Oops. 516 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:53,900 Keep the meter running. 517 00:26:53,900 --> 00:26:54,800 All right. 518 00:26:54,900 --> 00:26:56,300 Oh, shit! 519 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,900 Shit! Shit! Shit! 520 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,400 Pardon my French. 521 00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,700 I speak a little French, and that sounded like "shit. " 522 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:05,900 I left my house key on the car ring- 523 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,300 You know what? Doesn't matter. 524 00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:26,100 Got it! 525 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,200 - Sorry. - You all right? 526 00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:36,800 Yeah. 527 00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:38,700 - Hope these are the right keys. - Yeah. 528 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:53,900 Thank you. 529 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,100 I'm sorry about the top, 530 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,600 and the, uh, nerve damage in the back, 531 00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:01,700 and the whole electrocution thing, and- 532 00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:04,600 I'd still like to pay for the tooth. 533 00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:06,900 I told you. Buy me dinner. 534 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:09,800 Lunch. 535 00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:11,500 Vending machine. 536 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,500 Drinks. Water. I'm easy. 537 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,500 I'm just... 538 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,200 not emotionally available at this time. 539 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,700 I'm okay with that. 540 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,100 I'm looking for more of a physical relationship anyway. 541 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,500 So I've heard. 542 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:34,800 I was kidding. 543 00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:37,500 That was a joke. That was a stupid joke. 544 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,000 Okay. I- I get it. 545 00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:42,400 So no way, then. 546 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:45,800 I'm sorry. 547 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:49,900 Good night, Dr. Logan. 548 00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,500 Thank you. 549 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,800 I, uh... 550 00:29:01,900 --> 00:29:03,800 Yeah. 551 00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:46,400 Hi, Dr. Charlie. 552 00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:48,700 Reba! What the hell are you doing here? 553 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,000 Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. 554 00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:52,500 I used the key you left me in case of emergencies. 555 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,800 What's the emergency? 556 00:29:54,900 --> 00:29:57,500 I know about the charm. 557 00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,400 Not you, too. 558 00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:00,700 Somebody posted about you 559 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,400 on perfectmatch. com 560 00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:04,100 It's an internet dating site. 561 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:05,600 Yeah, I know what it is. 562 00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:06,900 This is out of control. 563 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,400 These stories are just coincidence. 564 00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:09,900 That's what I thought. 565 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,800 But then I went to urbanlegends. com, 566 00:30:12,900 --> 00:30:14,200 and nobody's disproved it. 567 00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:17,100 Reba, I'll see you at work on Monday. Good night. 568 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,000 Dr. Logan, you've always been there for me. 569 00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:20,800 When you need a day off, yes. 570 00:30:20,900 --> 00:30:22,600 When you need a lift home, yes. 571 00:30:22,700 --> 00:30:24,600 When Reggie died four years ago, 572 00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:26,300 you sent that beautiful card. 573 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:27,800 Do you remember what you wrote? 574 00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:31,300 "If there's anything I can do, please let me know. " 575 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,300 Yeah, but, uh- 576 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,900 Well, I'm letting you know. 577 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,400 That's not what I had in mind. 578 00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:39,800 These panties are edible, 579 00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:41,500 but I'd avoid the tush area 580 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,000 as I've been sitting for about three hours. 581 00:30:44,100 --> 00:30:45,800 Reba, I'm not the guy for you. 582 00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:47,100 I'm not saying you are. 583 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,500 But the next guy might be. 584 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,100 Dr. Charlie, if we're together, 585 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:52,900 I know I'll find my soul mate. 586 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,800 That- That's ridiculous. 587 00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:58,400 No. 588 00:30:58,500 --> 00:31:00,300 No, Reba. Don't cry. It's okay. 589 00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:03,000 Come on, Dr. Charlie. 590 00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:05,100 You got to do this for me. Please. 591 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:06,100 - Reba! - Charlie- 592 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,600 I can't do this. 593 00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,200 Don't worry. 594 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,300 I'll do everything. 595 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,500 Please. 596 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,200 Just close your eyes 597 00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:22,600 and imagine somebody beautiful. 598 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,300 I'll imagine you. 599 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,000 No one but you. 600 00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:43,700 Reba? 601 00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:45,400 You slept with Reba? 602 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,900 Shut up. 603 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:47,900 You shut up. 604 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,700 What the hell's the matter with you? 605 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,700 You're telling me that you have the power 606 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,400 to turn any hot chick out there- 607 00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:54,800 any hot chick- 608 00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:58,700 into a knob-gobbling, lance-waxing flesh monger, 609 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,500 and you're out there plowing the back 40 with Reba! 610 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,100 You don't know because you weren't there. 611 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,600 Thank God I wasn't there. 612 00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:07,800 It's disgusting. It's revolting. 613 00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:09,100 You're nasty. 614 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,200 How was she? 615 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:13,700 Dude, check it. 616 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,500 You see, that is the kind of tail you should be chasing. 617 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,700 I could suck a fart out of her ass 618 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,000 and hold it like a bong hit. 619 00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:27,700 Nice stop, kid. Way to be. 620 00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:31,100 Dude, these chicks, 621 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,400 they think that you're, like, a lucky charm, man. 622 00:32:33,500 --> 00:32:34,900 I mean, you poke the poon, 623 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,600 she marries the next guy she dates after you. 624 00:32:37,700 --> 00:32:38,900 It's not true. 625 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,200 Who cares if it's true? 626 00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:41,900 Wake up, man. 627 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,600 You got it made. 628 00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:45,900 What is it that all women want? 629 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,500 To get married, 630 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,600 raise crib midgets, 631 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,300 and apparently, buddy, 632 00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:54,800 you got the ticket to the big show. 633 00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:56,400 Do you know what this means? 634 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,000 Trim. 635 00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:00,900 You're going to be seeing trim like Tommy Lee, 636 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,400 like Colin Farrell, 637 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,500 like Ellen DeGeneres- just- 638 00:33:07,500 --> 00:33:09,600 Have you considered the possibility the reason 639 00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:11,200 you haven't been laid in the last decade 640 00:33:11,300 --> 00:33:13,900 has something to do with your routine use of the word "trim"? 641 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,100 Yeah! 642 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,900 Seven days a week, 56 weeks a year, trim! 643 00:33:20,900 --> 00:33:22,000 That's my bad. 644 00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:24,400 Where's your manners, shithead? 645 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,000 What did you say to me? 646 00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:29,200 Little help here, honey? 647 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,500 Look, you and I are different, okay? 648 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,500 Besides the fact that I'm not retarded, 649 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,400 I don't want to take advantage. 650 00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:40,600 - Dude. - Yeah. 651 00:33:40,700 --> 00:33:43,200 Was Martin Luther King, Jr. taking advantage 652 00:33:43,300 --> 00:33:45,500 when he said that thing in that place? 653 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,200 I don't think so. 654 00:33:47,300 --> 00:33:51,300 Was Gandhi taking advantage when he was doing his thing? 655 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:52,700 No. 656 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,700 And don't tell me that Gandhi didn't score 657 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,700 some sweet-ass Native American trim. 658 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,500 Gandhi was Indian. 659 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,600 They don't like to be called that. 660 00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:03,700 Dude, I thought you wanted to feel love. 661 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,800 I do. 662 00:34:04,900 --> 00:34:08,600 So stop dipping your foot in the pool and dive the fuck in! 663 00:34:08,700 --> 00:34:10,600 And think about this, man. 664 00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:12,900 You'd be providing a much-needed public service. 665 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,200 You'd be helping women find love. 666 00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:17,600 Now, don't come bitching to me 667 00:34:17,700 --> 00:34:19,100 you haven't found Miss Right yet 668 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,400 if you got women lining up for the position 669 00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:23,700 and you're turning your back on them. 670 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:28,300 Nice. 671 00:34:30,300 --> 00:34:32,000 I guess. 672 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,100 If I did it for the right reasons. 673 00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:37,600 Whatever helps you sleep at night, biznatch. 674 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,300 No, no, no. Whoa, whoa. Don't take off my top. 675 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,400 Something wrong? 676 00:35:14,500 --> 00:35:16,300 They're for the baby. 677 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,100 You have a baby? 678 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:21,000 No, but I will someday. 679 00:35:27,100 --> 00:35:28,500 It's really good. 680 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:30,600 Fuck me. 681 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:34,600 Fuck me harder. 682 00:35:36,700 --> 00:35:38,600 Oh. Yeah. 683 00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:40,100 Fuck me! 684 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,000 - Fuck me! - I'm fucking! 685 00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:44,800 Fuck me, you cocksucking, cum-guzzling shithead! 686 00:35:44,900 --> 00:35:46,100 Split my pussy in two! 687 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,400 You motherfucking asshole! 688 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:53,800 Is something wrong? 689 00:36:30,900 --> 00:36:32,300 Oh, God. 690 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,400 Oh, God! 691 00:36:35,100 --> 00:36:39,600 Oh, God! Oh, Jesus Christ, almighty! 692 00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:42,100 God, my savior! 693 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:46,500 I shall adore thee from now until forever more! 694 00:36:46,700 --> 00:36:49,000 Oh! Amen! 695 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,600 Would you like to pray with me now? 696 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,800 Uh... no. 697 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,200 Yeah, I don't do that with men. 698 00:37:30,700 --> 00:37:32,100 Oh, yeah. That's it. 699 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,000 That's it! 700 00:37:34,100 --> 00:37:36,100 That's definitely it! 701 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:37,800 That'll be my wedding dress. 702 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,400 What do you think? 703 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,700 Megan, I swear I know you from some place. 704 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,500 We went to high school together. 705 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,300 Megan... 706 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,100 What's your last name? 707 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,300 Gilles. 708 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,600 Gilles. I knew a Matthew Gilles. 709 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,200 God, you do look like him. Is that your brother? 710 00:38:13,300 --> 00:38:16,200 Actually, that was me before the operation. 711 00:38:32,300 --> 00:38:33,600 Thanks. 712 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:37,700 You're welcome. 713 00:38:40,900 --> 00:38:43,100 - This just isn't working for me. - Yeah, right. 714 00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:45,100 You're just gonna give up boning all these women? 715 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,200 These girls don't want to be with me. 716 00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:49,100 They want to be with the next guy. 717 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,500 So what? The road to the next guy leads through you. 718 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,200 It's not that satisfying. 719 00:38:55,300 --> 00:38:57,100 I'll tell you not satisfying. 720 00:38:57,300 --> 00:39:00,000 Last night I masturbated into a grapefruit. 721 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,200 I put it in the microwave. 722 00:39:03,300 --> 00:39:05,000 I heated it up a little bit, which helped, 723 00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:06,000 but... 724 00:39:06,100 --> 00:39:08,600 still. 725 00:39:15,500 --> 00:39:19,400 You know, I read somewhere that penguins like to eat their own shit. 726 00:39:30,300 --> 00:39:32,600 You have 108 messages. 727 00:39:33,700 --> 00:39:35,600 Messages deleted. 728 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,400 The female lays a single egg 729 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,400 and rolls it onto the feet of the male. 730 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:57,200 The male stands and incubates the egg 731 00:39:57,300 --> 00:40:00,200 until it hatches, about 65 days. 732 00:40:00,300 --> 00:40:02,700 Having built up a thick layer of fat 733 00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:04,800 to sustain him through the long winter, 734 00:40:04,900 --> 00:40:07,500 he never leaves the egg to hunt for food. 735 00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:11,300 The female returns just before the chick hatches. 736 00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:17,200 If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. 737 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:25,900 What are you doing here? 738 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,800 Are you telling me that the male penguin 739 00:40:27,900 --> 00:40:29,900 really lives off his own fat for 65 days 740 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,600 while he's protecting the egg? 741 00:40:31,700 --> 00:40:33,700 You think that the female could bring him, like, a mackerel burger? 742 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:37,500 Seriously, why are you here? 743 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,000 Look, I don't buy the whole 744 00:40:39,100 --> 00:40:41,300 "I'm not emotionally available" thing. 745 00:40:41,300 --> 00:40:42,300 Are you dying? 746 00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:43,900 Is that why you don't want to get involved with me? 747 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,800 Because you don't wanna hurt me when you die? 748 00:40:45,900 --> 00:40:47,000 No, I'm not dying. 749 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:49,800 Well, I'm not dying either, so what is it, then? 750 00:40:49,900 --> 00:40:51,900 Am I not your type? I can take it if it's that. 751 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,700 I think you should go. 752 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,000 No, I think I should stay, 753 00:40:56,100 --> 00:40:58,900 because I paid $38.00 to see you today. 754 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,100 And I'm not leaving until you pay me my money back. 755 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:02,500 Is this the dude? 756 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,400 - No. Joe! - Have you been talking about me? 757 00:41:04,500 --> 00:41:06,000 Why aren't you wearing your shirt? 758 00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:07,500 - Has she been talking about me? - Yeah. 759 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:08,800 - No! - You're the dentist. 760 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:10,800 I am the dude! 761 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,200 No, I mentioned you in passing. 762 00:41:13,300 --> 00:41:14,800 I said you were funny. 763 00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:16,500 - Oh. - And you said he was- 764 00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,600 And I said you were charming and... 765 00:41:19,700 --> 00:41:21,500 good-looking, and... 766 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:22,600 you have a nice smile. 767 00:41:22,700 --> 00:41:24,700 Oh, I would not go out with me, either. 768 00:41:26,700 --> 00:41:29,400 Excuse me, miss? How come the mommy penguin 769 00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:31,800 doesn't bring back food for the daddy penguin? 770 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,500 'Cause the daddy penguin doesn't need any food, sweetie. 771 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,100 I have another question. 772 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,700 Why won't you go out with Charlie? 773 00:41:44,300 --> 00:41:46,900 - She'd love to. - Joe! You're my brother! 774 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,000 Why are you taking his side? 775 00:41:49,100 --> 00:41:51,100 Because I know how long it's been- 776 00:41:52,300 --> 00:41:54,100 Another word, I hide your stash. 777 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,000 Go put a shirt on. 778 00:41:59,700 --> 00:42:00,900 Look, how about this. 779 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,600 Why don't you eat, 780 00:42:02,700 --> 00:42:05,100 and I'll just digest my own lard. 781 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,600 Look... 782 00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:10,300 I just... 783 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,700 I know three women you've gone out with. 784 00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,800 I'm just not into dating as a sport. 785 00:42:17,700 --> 00:42:19,600 Wait, you said if anybody had any questions- 786 00:42:19,700 --> 00:42:21,600 - No! I'm not going out with you! - That's not my question. 787 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,900 That was the little girl's question. I have a new question. 788 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,200 What is that penguin right there? 789 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,000 That's a Gentoo, one of several species 790 00:42:32,100 --> 00:42:34,900 of penguin that is completely monogamous. 791 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,600 I hope that answers your question. 792 00:42:36,700 --> 00:42:38,400 Oh, and penguins are unique 793 00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:41,600 in that mate selection is up to the female. 794 00:42:41,700 --> 00:42:43,900 Much like our relationship. 795 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000 Why do you wanna take me to dinner so badly? 796 00:42:46,100 --> 00:42:47,300 You look hungry. 797 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,600 Seriously. 798 00:42:50,100 --> 00:42:51,300 - Seriously? - Yeah. 799 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,200 Because you remind me of these penguins. 800 00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,300 Yes, they're kind of awkward and goofy. 801 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,800 Yet in the water, they're so beautiful. 802 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,200 Okay. 803 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:14,500 Okay, what? 804 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,600 - Okay, dinner. - Will you put that in writing? 805 00:43:16,700 --> 00:43:18,700 Don't push it. 806 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,900 But only as friends... 807 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,400 because if you must know, there is someone else. 808 00:43:25,500 --> 00:43:27,500 His name is Howard Blaine. 809 00:43:27,700 --> 00:43:29,600 He is a foremost expert on penguins, 810 00:43:29,700 --> 00:43:32,600 and I'm meeting him later this year at a conference. 811 00:43:32,700 --> 00:43:34,500 I'm interested in him. 812 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:35,800 Well, I'm interested in choreographing 813 00:43:35,900 --> 00:43:38,400 a wacky line dance that sweeps the nation, 814 00:43:38,500 --> 00:43:41,100 but we both know that's never gonna happen. 815 00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,200 One date as friends. 816 00:43:43,300 --> 00:43:45,200 Fine. 817 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:46,600 Bye. 818 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:49,800 I'm okay. Just- 819 00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:51,300 - Yeah. - I'm fine. 820 00:43:53,900 --> 00:43:55,100 Bye. 821 00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:14,800 So do sharks get cavities? 822 00:44:14,900 --> 00:44:16,000 No. 823 00:44:16,100 --> 00:44:18,000 - You have no idea, do you. - I don't know. 824 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,600 I thought we were gonna ask each other personal questions. 825 00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:23,700 Isn't that the point of 100 Questions? 826 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,100 Is that your question? 827 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,500 No, my question is... 828 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,000 Why penguins? Why? 829 00:44:31,100 --> 00:44:32,300 Why teeth? 830 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:33,500 Same as every other dentist. 831 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:34,600 Couldn't get into med school. 832 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,400 That's funny. 833 00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:38,600 My parents didn't think so. 834 00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:40,900 So really, why penguins? 835 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,400 Couldn't get into shark school. 836 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,000 I don't know, lots of reasons. 837 00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:49,400 For one, you can't help but smile when you see a penguin. 838 00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:53,000 Yeah, plus they have that bad-ass tuxedo embedded in their flesh. 839 00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:54,400 I know! They're just so cute. 840 00:44:54,500 --> 00:44:56,000 I just- I just love 'em so much. 841 00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,900 I just love, love, love 'em! 842 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,700 I even go to Antarctica for research. 843 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,700 Oh, it's so beautiful there. 844 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,500 You know they have once-a-year sunsets? 845 00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:08,700 You haven't seen beauty until you've seen that. 846 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,800 Oh, I don't know about that. 847 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,800 And the penguin rituals are just fascinating. 848 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,300 Okay now, by rituals, do you mean, like, 849 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:20,900 eating their own poop? 850 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,400 No. 851 00:45:22,500 --> 00:45:24,500 Like when a male is sweet on a female, 852 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,000 he searches the entire beach 853 00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:28,600 to find the perfect pebble to present to her. 854 00:45:28,700 --> 00:45:30,200 When he finally finds it, 855 00:45:30,300 --> 00:45:31,700 he waddles over 856 00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,600 and presents the stone by placing it at her feet. 857 00:45:34,700 --> 00:45:37,200 If she accepts, they'll be life-long mates. 858 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,000 It's kind of like an engagement ring. 859 00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,700 Yeah, it's unbelievable to watch. 860 00:45:46,300 --> 00:45:47,900 I have a feeling 861 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,900 that you are a very good kisser. 862 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,300 And I know this because I spent an hour and a half inside your mouth, 863 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:54,900 and I scoped it out. 864 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,300 What makes you think I'll be kissing you, huh? 865 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:00,900 You all right? 866 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,200 You okay? 867 00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,100 I guess I was wrong about the "really good kisser" thing. 868 00:46:29,300 --> 00:46:30,800 Come on, we'll find something you're good at. 869 00:46:30,900 --> 00:46:32,000 What! 870 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:37,200 Perfectly imperfect? What the hell does that mean? 871 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:38,600 I don't know. 872 00:46:38,700 --> 00:46:41,700 I mean, haven't you ever fallen for someone's flaws? 873 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,100 I'm a plastic surgeon. 874 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:46,200 I see a flaw, I pour spackle over it. 875 00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,100 Hey, are these new? 876 00:46:48,100 --> 00:46:49,600 Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, no! 877 00:46:49,700 --> 00:46:53,300 No, you don't touch these. 878 00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,600 It's Pamela Anderson's breast implants. 879 00:46:55,700 --> 00:46:57,700 Why are they not implanted in her breasts? 880 00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,500 It's a reduction, baby. This is what came out. 881 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,000 So you're hoping that some sick dude will buy these? 882 00:47:03,100 --> 00:47:05,500 Some sick dude already did. 883 00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:07,100 This dude! 884 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,700 What the hell do you want Pamela Anderson's breast fillings for? 885 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,500 Why the hell do you want Miss Penguin Pussy? 886 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,500 To each his own, buddy. 887 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,800 Oh, Miss Penguin Pussy. Who the fuck are you? 888 00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:18,700 Stu Klaminsky. Nice to meet you. 889 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,000 Anyway, Cam's the one, man. 890 00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:24,500 When I'm with her, I don't know, Stu. 891 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:26,300 I mean, I feel like... 892 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:28,700 She just- She- 893 00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:30,100 Completes you. 894 00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:31,400 - Screw you. - Screw you. 895 00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:32,700 And can I just say 896 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,700 that I'm an idiot for listening to you? 897 00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:35,700 Public service. 898 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:36,700 May I remind you 899 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:38,100 that you got your axle greased 900 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:39,500 a fair amount in the process? 901 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,100 What's sex without love? 902 00:47:43,100 --> 00:47:44,500 Sex! 903 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:47,600 It's still sex! 904 00:47:47,700 --> 00:47:49,400 Jesus Christ. 905 00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:52,600 I never met a guy so bummed to squirt a little baby gravy. 906 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:53,900 Baby gravy? 907 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,100 You know, man chowder. 908 00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,800 Can't believe you're going cold turkey for this chick. 909 00:48:01,900 --> 00:48:03,700 If she wants me to be more like a Gentoo, 910 00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,300 I'm going to be like a Gentoo. 911 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:07,700 You lost me. 912 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,300 Gentoo. It's a monogamous penguin. 913 00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:14,900 Who's ridiculed by the other penguins 914 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,300 for being a fag. 915 00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:21,200 Here it comes! 916 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,500 You got some- right there. 917 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:32,800 Thanks. 918 00:48:32,900 --> 00:48:34,300 Do I have any on me? 919 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:35,300 No, no. 920 00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:36,700 You want to get that? 921 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,200 You're silly. 922 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:42,900 I have something for you. 923 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,000 Really? 924 00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:46,500 A gift? 925 00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,200 Oh, bad form. 926 00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:49,700 A gift on the third date? 927 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,000 Open it. 928 00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:52,500 Okay. 929 00:48:56,700 --> 00:48:58,800 You're an asshole. 930 00:48:58,900 --> 00:49:00,900 Yes, but a thoughtful asshole. 931 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,500 Thank you. 932 00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,600 So, fess up about this charm. 933 00:49:08,700 --> 00:49:09,700 You heard about that. 934 00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,300 Yeah. It's quite a scam you got going. 935 00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:13,900 - No, it's not me. - Please. 936 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,100 It's not. I'm serious. 937 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:16,900 Somebody somewhere got it into their head 938 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,600 that once a girl's been with me, 939 00:49:18,700 --> 00:49:19,800 she'll meet her true love 940 00:49:19,900 --> 00:49:21,800 with the next guy she goes out with. 941 00:49:21,900 --> 00:49:22,900 Can you believe it? 942 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:24,400 Please. 943 00:49:24,500 --> 00:49:27,100 People will believe whatever they want to believe. 944 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:42,600 Okay. I've got one for you. 945 00:49:42,700 --> 00:49:44,200 Did you know it is physically impossible 946 00:49:44,300 --> 00:49:46,300 for a human being to lick their own elbow? 947 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:47,500 How do you know that? 948 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:48,600 No one can do it. 949 00:49:48,700 --> 00:49:50,400 All right. I can do it. 950 00:49:54,900 --> 00:49:56,700 Can't do it, my friend. 951 00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:58,000 All right, fine. 952 00:49:58,100 --> 00:49:59,200 I've got one. 953 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,100 Did you know that the average person 954 00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,400 produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in their lifetime? 955 00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:07,300 Did you know that I produce 10,000 gallons of saliva in one kiss? 956 00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:08,400 That's disgusting. 957 00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:09,900 I'm going to show you. Come here. 958 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,400 I'm serious. I'm serious about this. 959 00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:13,300 I don't like sloppy kisses. 960 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,100 Are you trying to unhook my bra? 961 00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,700 No. No. I wouldn't do that. No. 962 00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,100 Why not? Am I not your type? 963 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,200 You are definitely my type. 964 00:50:55,300 --> 00:50:56,400 What's your type? 965 00:50:56,500 --> 00:50:59,100 Black and blue, riddled with bandages. 966 00:51:00,500 --> 00:51:03,400 And braless. Yeah. Definitely braless. 967 00:51:19,300 --> 00:51:21,300 Your move. 968 00:51:26,900 --> 00:51:28,000 That's it? 969 00:51:28,100 --> 00:51:29,700 Socks are next. Slow down. 970 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:31,300 Wuss. 971 00:51:36,300 --> 00:51:37,700 You really want to do this? 972 00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,200 I mean, you really want to take us further? 973 00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:55,300 This is not happening. 974 00:51:58,900 --> 00:52:00,500 I got to get it. 975 00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,500 It's- It's my emergency line. 976 00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:03,500 No. No. 977 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,600 I got to get it. I'll be back. 978 00:52:05,700 --> 00:52:06,800 I'll be fast. 979 00:52:10,700 --> 00:52:11,700 Dr. Logan speaking. 980 00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:13,500 Dude! 981 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,900 Is this an emergency? 982 00:52:17,100 --> 00:52:18,700 You're going to want to hear this, man. 983 00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,800 Well, I am rather busy right now. 984 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:23,000 Good night! 985 00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,000 Whoa, whoa, wait. Did you bone her yet? 986 00:52:25,100 --> 00:52:28,000 Look, unless this is an emergency, 987 00:52:28,100 --> 00:52:30,200 call my office in the morning. 988 00:52:30,300 --> 00:52:32,600 Fine. You want to lose her forever, 989 00:52:32,700 --> 00:52:34,400 you hang up the phone right now. 990 00:52:34,500 --> 00:52:37,400 This is going to be the best night of your life. 991 00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:39,100 Are you still there? 992 00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,600 Chuck. Are you there? 993 00:52:42,700 --> 00:52:44,000 What are you talking about? 994 00:52:44,100 --> 00:52:46,400 Dude, it's that charm thing. 995 00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:48,900 It turns out it's real! 996 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:52,800 No. That's not true because you told me yourself- 997 00:52:52,900 --> 00:52:54,300 Uh-uh, but now I believe. 998 00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:56,300 I started calling all your exes. 999 00:52:56,300 --> 00:52:57,600 They're married. 1000 00:52:57,700 --> 00:52:59,200 Not just some. All. 1001 00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,500 A to Z on your Palm Pilot, man. 1002 00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,300 Susan Agrezzi to Jeannie Zeigert. 1003 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,700 Every single one you closed the deal with. 1004 00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,500 And did you see this month's high school newsletter? 1005 00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:09,900 Sarah McDowell. 1006 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,800 What, the girl I lost my virginity to? 1007 00:53:11,900 --> 00:53:13,600 Did you see who she wound up marrying? 1008 00:53:13,700 --> 00:53:17,200 Tony Lamberto, that douche bag she dumped you for! 1009 00:53:17,300 --> 00:53:20,300 You know what this means, don't you? 1010 00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:21,800 You shake the sheets with Cam, 1011 00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,100 she's going to marry the next guy she dates. 1012 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,200 This- This- 1013 00:53:28,300 --> 00:53:29,600 I hate you. 1014 00:53:29,700 --> 00:53:32,200 I really hate you! 1015 00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,100 I got to go. I got to go. 1016 00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,900 A dental emergency. 1017 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,200 Freak accident. 1018 00:53:42,300 --> 00:53:44,800 Children, they thought it was gumballs. 1019 00:53:44,900 --> 00:53:46,400 Ball bearings, 1020 00:53:46,500 --> 00:53:49,000 and it just fucked up their shit. 1021 00:53:50,500 --> 00:53:52,400 You look great. I had a good time. 1022 00:53:52,500 --> 00:53:53,500 I got to go. 1023 00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:56,600 I got to go! 1024 00:53:59,300 --> 00:54:01,200 I can't believe you're really considering doing this. 1025 00:54:01,300 --> 00:54:03,400 If you believe it and everyone else believes it, 1026 00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:04,700 what else can I do? 1027 00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:05,900 Anything but this. 1028 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:07,100 I got to be sure. 1029 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,200 I've got to put the curse to the test. 1030 00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:11,200 Where is she? 1031 00:54:11,300 --> 00:54:12,700 She's beached over there 1032 00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:16,200 by the giant garbage bag full of doughnut holes. 1033 00:54:16,300 --> 00:54:18,500 Eleanor Skepple. 1034 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:22,400 She's angry, rude, and she smells bad. 1035 00:54:22,500 --> 00:54:24,100 In addition to back acne, 1036 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:28,400 she's got front acne and side acne. 1037 00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,500 You see that glass of water there? 1038 00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,600 She keeps her teeth in that glass. 1039 00:54:32,700 --> 00:54:36,400 So you're saying that she's single. 1040 00:54:36,500 --> 00:54:37,900 She's your best bet, man. 1041 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:39,700 You sink the soldier all you want. 1042 00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:41,100 This chick ain't never getting married. 1043 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,400 If she was the last woman on the face of the earth, 1044 00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:46,400 humanity would come to a screeching halt. 1045 00:55:04,100 --> 00:55:07,600 Hey, asshole, got my peanut butter? 1046 00:55:07,700 --> 00:55:11,200 No. My name's Charlie. 1047 00:55:15,900 --> 00:55:17,500 I'm sorry. I was just wondering 1048 00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,700 if, um- if I could take you out tonight. 1049 00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,500 How does that- How does that sound? 1050 00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,600 You want me to elaborate? 1051 00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,600 No. I get your drift. 1052 00:55:30,700 --> 00:55:32,300 I'm sorry to have bothered you. 1053 00:55:39,100 --> 00:55:41,600 Pay you a hundred dollars to go out with me tonight. 1054 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:45,800 $200. 1055 00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:49,500 Make me happy. 1056 00:55:57,900 --> 00:55:59,100 So a thousand dollars, 1057 00:55:59,100 --> 00:56:01,700 and all you have to do is take me to dinner? 1058 00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,700 Well, actually, I thought that maybe we could, 1059 00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,900 you know, we- you and I could, uh- 1060 00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:15,900 get physical. 1061 00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:19,800 All right. 1062 00:56:19,900 --> 00:56:23,900 I'm gonna fuck you till you die! 1063 00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:43,900 And now we wait. 1064 00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:52,100 Oh, Coco, I know how you feel. 1065 00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,200 We just put ourselves out there, 1066 00:56:54,300 --> 00:56:55,400 and what happened? 1067 00:56:55,500 --> 00:56:57,200 I'm left hanging. 1068 00:56:57,300 --> 00:56:59,400 Huh, girl? 1069 00:57:02,100 --> 00:57:03,900 Has he called yet? 1070 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,500 No, Joe, he hasn't. 1071 00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:10,400 Thanks for asking. I really appreciate it. 1072 00:57:10,500 --> 00:57:12,900 God, I feel so stupid. 1073 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,300 Why did I act like that? 1074 00:57:16,700 --> 00:57:18,200 Why hasn't he called? 1075 00:57:18,300 --> 00:57:21,300 All this waiting is driving me crazy. 1076 00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:25,400 You know, there's always some madness in love. 1077 00:57:25,500 --> 00:57:31,200 But there's also always some reason in madness. 1078 00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:34,200 Nietzsche. 1079 00:57:34,300 --> 00:57:36,300 Been using the pages of this philosophy book 1080 00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:37,500 for rolling paper. 1081 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:40,500 It's like I'm smoking their thoughts. 1082 00:57:47,500 --> 00:57:48,500 It's him. 1083 00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:50,500 Well, get it. 1084 00:57:50,700 --> 00:57:52,200 I'm gonna let it ring. 1085 00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,000 I'll screen it. 1086 00:57:57,100 --> 00:57:59,300 Sorry I haven't called, but I've been really sick. 1087 00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,300 I can't even get out of bed. 1088 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,100 Do you think maybe we could just talk on the phone 1089 00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:06,300 or on the computer? 1090 00:58:08,100 --> 00:58:10,000 I'd really, really like that. 1091 00:58:10,100 --> 00:58:11,500 Call me. 1092 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:35,600 I can't pretend to be sick forever. 1093 00:59:35,700 --> 00:59:36,800 Come on, man. You're my hero. 1094 00:59:36,900 --> 00:59:38,900 - I don't know. - Yeah, you gotta do this for me. 1095 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,100 You got this, my brother. You're a crazy train. 1096 00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:42,800 You're the man in the mirror. 1097 00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:44,600 You're a force of nature. Hurricane Stu. 1098 00:59:44,700 --> 00:59:45,600 I can't do it. 1099 00:59:45,700 --> 00:59:46,900 You have to do it. 1100 00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,400 No one's asked her out yet. 1101 00:59:48,500 --> 00:59:51,000 Yeah, right. So I go out with Eleanor Skepple 1102 00:59:51,100 --> 00:59:52,100 to test your curse, 1103 00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:53,400 and what happens next? 1104 00:59:53,500 --> 00:59:55,200 I'm walking down the aisle with Shamu! 1105 00:59:55,300 --> 00:59:56,400 I don't think so. 1106 00:59:56,500 --> 00:59:58,200 Do you see what I'm doing here? 1107 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:00,800 The friend card, man? 1108 01:00:00,900 --> 01:00:01,900 Yeah. 1109 01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,000 That's mean. 1110 01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:05,100 You leave me no choice. 1111 01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:09,600 Give me that, you son of a bitch. 1112 01:00:09,900 --> 01:00:11,500 If I marry her, Chuck, 1113 01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:13,900 we're going to hunt you down and eat you. 1114 01:00:28,300 --> 01:00:29,400 Yeah, Stu. 1115 01:00:33,500 --> 01:00:35,500 I can't believe you're still sick. 1116 01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:37,000 How long has it been? 1117 01:00:37,100 --> 01:00:38,900 Two weeks. It's, uh... 1118 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:40,300 it's killing me, but, you know, 1119 01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:41,800 I don't want to infect you. 1120 01:00:41,900 --> 01:00:44,000 At this point, I wouldn't mind. 1121 01:00:46,100 --> 01:00:47,900 You know, I feel like a kid again. 1122 01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:49,800 I haven't talked on the phone this much 1123 01:00:49,900 --> 01:00:51,200 since I was in high school. 1124 01:00:51,300 --> 01:00:52,600 That reminds me. 1125 01:00:52,700 --> 01:00:54,800 Would you go to the prom with me? 1126 01:00:56,100 --> 01:00:57,900 I love your voice. 1127 01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:01,200 The crazy things is, I can't picture you anymore. 1128 01:01:01,300 --> 01:01:03,300 Okay, here's the update: 1129 01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:04,600 I am now 4' 3", 1130 01:01:04,700 --> 01:01:08,300 I weigh 235 pounds, and I've got a cleft eye. 1131 01:01:10,700 --> 01:01:12,000 Can I ask you something? 1132 01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:13,400 Yeah. 1133 01:01:13,500 --> 01:01:15,800 Are you not into girls? 1134 01:01:20,900 --> 01:01:23,400 No. No. 1135 01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:26,300 Are you... seriously, are you there? 1136 01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:27,300 Yeah. 1137 01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:28,900 I'm not... not into girls. 1138 01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:30,900 You should have seen my room growing up. 1139 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:33,000 It was full of posters of... of girls! 1140 01:01:33,100 --> 01:01:34,900 There was no guys. It was girls! 1141 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:38,200 Well, are you avoiding actually seeing me? 1142 01:01:38,300 --> 01:01:41,800 No, Cam. I'm dying to see you. It's killing me. 1143 01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:44,900 Then come over. Right now. Wash my back. 1144 01:01:45,100 --> 01:01:46,100 Come on. 1145 01:01:46,300 --> 01:01:48,400 I'll wear a mask. You could wear a mask. 1146 01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:49,500 We'll play doctor. 1147 01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:52,100 Ooh, boy. I want to, 1148 01:01:52,300 --> 01:01:53,400 but with the- 1149 01:01:53,500 --> 01:01:55,100 No buts. I need to see you. 1150 01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,300 I need to see if that birthmark you have 1151 01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:58,500 really looks like Alfred Hitchcock. 1152 01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,400 Now, wait. No. That- 1153 01:02:00,500 --> 01:02:02,700 That is a restricted area, okay? 1154 01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:04,100 Not everybody gets a peek 1155 01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:05,600 at the Master of Suspense, 1156 01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:06,900 if you know what I'm saying. 1157 01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:08,100 If I can't see you, 1158 01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:09,500 we should take our phone relationship 1159 01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:10,700 to the next level. 1160 01:02:11,900 --> 01:02:13,100 What do you mean? 1161 01:02:15,700 --> 01:02:16,900 Oh, yeah. 1162 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:18,700 That feels good. 1163 01:02:18,900 --> 01:02:21,500 I like that. Do you like that? 1164 01:02:21,700 --> 01:02:23,100 Like what? 1165 01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:24,500 That's my phone sex voice. 1166 01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,900 Come on, Charlie, work with me here. 1167 01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,900 I want to. I just don't think that we should do that. 1168 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,800 I mean, nothing to do with- 1169 01:02:32,900 --> 01:02:34,000 Does your phone receive pictures? 1170 01:02:34,100 --> 01:02:35,200 Yeah, why? 1171 01:02:35,300 --> 01:02:36,200 Sending. 1172 01:02:36,300 --> 01:02:37,400 Sending? 1173 01:02:37,500 --> 01:02:39,100 What are you sending to me? 1174 01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:41,700 Fuck! 1175 01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:45,000 - I got it. - Got it? 1176 01:02:45,100 --> 01:02:46,600 I'm done for the night. Thank you. 1177 01:02:47,700 --> 01:02:49,100 Oh, God. Hold on one second. 1178 01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:50,100 Stu, what's up? 1179 01:02:51,700 --> 01:02:53,700 The deed is done. 1180 01:02:53,900 --> 01:02:56,000 I went out with Eleanor Skepple. 1181 01:02:56,100 --> 01:02:57,900 I'm not proposing to her, 1182 01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,900 so you're in the clear. 1183 01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:02,700 Are you there? 1184 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,400 Chuck? 1185 01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:10,500 I feel better. 1186 01:03:59,500 --> 01:04:01,100 Camcorder in the bedroom, huh? 1187 01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:02,200 Kinky. 1188 01:04:08,700 --> 01:04:11,100 So, for the, uh, camera, 1189 01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,800 do I have to sign a waiver or something, you know, 1190 01:04:13,900 --> 01:04:15,000 for internet purposes? 1191 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:16,900 You really want to talk right now? 1192 01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:20,400 Whoa, those are nice. 1193 01:04:20,500 --> 01:04:22,200 Oh, God bless you. 1194 01:04:24,300 --> 01:04:25,200 You pushed me. 1195 01:04:25,300 --> 01:04:26,900 Sorry. It's been a while. 1196 01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:29,400 I can see I'm going to have to wear protection. 1197 01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:54,800 Stop staring at me. 1198 01:04:54,900 --> 01:04:57,200 You're creeping me out. 1199 01:05:26,500 --> 01:05:28,500 ...no matter what your size. 1200 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,200 You will not go to waste. 1201 01:05:30,300 --> 01:05:31,700 Sometimes it takes a little love 1202 01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:34,200 to make someone want to shed the pounds. 1203 01:05:34,300 --> 01:05:35,900 Two main reasons- 1204 01:05:46,300 --> 01:05:47,800 What the hell? 1205 01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:52,200 Hello. 1206 01:05:52,300 --> 01:05:54,700 "The deed is done"? The deed is done! 1207 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:55,900 I thought you said 1208 01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:57,400 you went out with Eleanor Skepple. 1209 01:05:57,500 --> 01:05:58,900 No, man. I just said that. 1210 01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:00,600 What? 1211 01:06:00,700 --> 01:06:02,100 I didn't want to risk it. 1212 01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:03,500 Marrying her? Are you stupid? 1213 01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:04,800 But I saw you, man. 1214 01:06:04,900 --> 01:06:06,500 You asked her out. 1215 01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:08,600 No, man. I asked her what time it was. 1216 01:06:08,700 --> 01:06:10,400 She said it was 3:53. 1217 01:06:13,500 --> 01:06:15,000 I can't believe that I trusted you, Stu. 1218 01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:16,100 You fucked me! 1219 01:06:16,300 --> 01:06:17,400 Take out your friend card. 1220 01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:19,100 What? 1221 01:06:19,300 --> 01:06:21,700 Take out your friend card now and rip it up 1222 01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:23,000 because you fucked me, Stu. 1223 01:06:23,100 --> 01:06:26,000 Oh, buddy, she's just a girl. 1224 01:06:26,100 --> 01:06:29,300 No. It's not a girl. 1225 01:06:32,100 --> 01:06:33,200 It's the girl. 1226 01:06:33,300 --> 01:06:35,900 Now I'm going to lose her. 1227 01:06:39,300 --> 01:06:41,500 I'm not going to lose her. 1228 01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:51,200 Breakfast in bed. 1229 01:06:52,700 --> 01:06:56,700 Wake up! Good morning! It's a beautiful day! 1230 01:06:56,800 --> 01:06:58,200 Wow. 1231 01:06:58,300 --> 01:07:00,700 Am I supposed to eat my way out of here? 1232 01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:02,400 I walked into the supermarket. 1233 01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:04,800 I stood there. I was like, "What does Cam want?" 1234 01:07:04,900 --> 01:07:05,900 And I couldn't stop. 1235 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,000 I was like, "She'll want that and that and that," and I got it all. 1236 01:07:09,100 --> 01:07:11,300 They didn't have Spam, though. I talked to the manager. 1237 01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:13,300 They won't have it in until next week. Anyway, enjoy. 1238 01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:15,100 Are you okay? 1239 01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:16,600 I am fantastic. I feel like- 1240 01:07:16,700 --> 01:07:18,200 I did this- 1241 01:07:18,700 --> 01:07:20,200 And then I gave myself one of these. Look. 1242 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,100 And I made out with myself. 1243 01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,300 You're acting kind of strange. 1244 01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:25,900 No. No, no. 1245 01:07:27,800 --> 01:07:29,800 Yeah, eat up. Eat up. Try that. Try that. 1246 01:07:29,900 --> 01:07:31,100 Eat up. 1247 01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:33,400 Hey, um, what are your plans 1248 01:07:33,500 --> 01:07:35,000 for the rest of today? 1249 01:07:35,100 --> 01:07:37,500 I'm going to work. 1250 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,300 I'm going to go to work with you! 1251 01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:40,600 I'm going to hang out. 1252 01:07:40,700 --> 01:07:43,100 I got it all planned out. I'm going to go. 1253 01:07:44,900 --> 01:07:46,900 I'm kidding. I'm not going to work with you. 1254 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:48,200 Actually, Saturday. 1255 01:07:48,300 --> 01:07:49,600 What are you plans for Saturday- Sunday? 1256 01:07:49,700 --> 01:07:50,600 What are your plans for Sunday? 1257 01:07:50,700 --> 01:07:52,000 Don't even answer that 1258 01:07:52,100 --> 01:07:53,500 because I'm already thinking about Wednesday. 1259 01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:54,700 What are you doing Wednesday? 1260 01:07:54,900 --> 01:07:56,500 Let's just seal it right now- seal the deal- 1261 01:07:56,600 --> 01:07:58,100 and then I'll do my pineapple dance. 1262 01:07:58,200 --> 01:07:59,900 Yes, Wednesday? 1263 01:08:02,700 --> 01:08:05,300 This is your fault! Everything! 1264 01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:08,800 You! 1265 01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,700 Jesus Christ, why me? 1266 01:08:12,700 --> 01:08:15,500 Just shut your lips, Stu. Shut up! 1267 01:08:17,900 --> 01:08:19,900 Hi, Cam. What's up? It's Charlie. 1268 01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:21,100 How are you doing today? 1269 01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:22,300 I just wanted to call 1270 01:08:22,400 --> 01:08:24,300 and make sure I had the right number, 1271 01:08:24,500 --> 01:08:26,900 and I do, and I do. 1272 01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:28,100 How are you doing? 1273 01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:29,600 Having a good day at work? 1274 01:08:29,700 --> 01:08:32,000 Well, I'll let you get back, but I wanted to remind you, 1275 01:08:32,100 --> 01:08:35,200 Wednesday night, you and me, happily. 1276 01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:37,700 All right. I'll talk to you later. Bye. 1277 01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:39,200 This is your fault! 1278 01:08:39,300 --> 01:08:40,700 His! 1279 01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:47,100 You already ate. Why are you- 1280 01:08:56,800 --> 01:08:59,500 Is there something different in here since lunch? 1281 01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:27,800 Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, banana 1282 01:09:27,900 --> 01:09:30,600 Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, banana 1283 01:09:30,700 --> 01:09:33,100 Got me lookin' so crazy right now 1284 01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:36,100 Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now 1285 01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:38,600 Got me lookin' so crazy right now 1286 01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:41,500 Your touch has got me lookin' so crazy right now 1287 01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:44,300 Got me hopin' you'd page me right now 1288 01:09:44,300 --> 01:09:47,300 Your kiss got me hopin' you'd save me right now 1289 01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:49,900 Lookin' so crazy, your love's got me lookin' 1290 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:54,600 Got me lookin' so crazy, your love 1291 01:09:54,700 --> 01:09:56,400 Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, got it. 1292 01:09:56,500 --> 01:09:58,700 Got me going, so pay me right now 1293 01:10:00,600 --> 01:10:02,800 Raise the habitat. 1294 01:10:02,900 --> 01:10:05,000 Crazy, crazy, crazy 1295 01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:07,300 Crazy for you 1296 01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:10,400 Changed my mind. 1297 01:10:10,500 --> 01:10:12,000 Took the day off so I could hang. 1298 01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:13,400 I won't be in the way. 1299 01:10:13,500 --> 01:10:15,800 I know what you're thinking. I'm going to be in the way. 1300 01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:18,800 But I think I'm going to blend in like this. I think I'll blend. Look. 1301 01:10:18,900 --> 01:10:20,500 I know how to do that. 1302 01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:23,900 Charlie, I'm working. 1303 01:10:29,500 --> 01:10:31,400 Or I could go. 1304 01:10:31,500 --> 01:10:32,900 Yeah, I- 1305 01:10:35,700 --> 01:10:36,900 Get out of here. 1306 01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:39,900 No, no. 1307 01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:41,000 Thanks. 1308 01:10:49,700 --> 01:10:51,200 Have a great day at work. 1309 01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:54,100 My car's this way. 1310 01:11:07,300 --> 01:11:08,400 Hi, Cam. 1311 01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:18,400 Work is done. Time for fun. 1312 01:11:22,300 --> 01:11:23,500 Hey. 1313 01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:27,000 Listen, I know an amazing sushi place, 1314 01:11:27,100 --> 01:11:28,400 and the best part of all: 1315 01:11:28,500 --> 01:11:29,800 when you're finished with your leftovers, 1316 01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:32,100 they put them in a doggie bag- or a penguin bag. 1317 01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:33,800 - Charlie- - Oh, you don't like sushi. 1318 01:11:33,900 --> 01:11:35,500 Uh, Thai? Indian. 1319 01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:38,600 Listen to me, you need to leave me alone, okay? 1320 01:11:38,700 --> 01:11:40,000 I need some space. 1321 01:11:42,500 --> 01:11:43,800 So tonight is no good. 1322 01:11:43,900 --> 01:11:47,900 I'm very close to changing my phone number. 1323 01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:49,800 Do you understand? 1324 01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,700 If you were a hamburger at McDonald's, 1325 01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:11,100 I'd name you my McBeautiful Tittie Sandwich 1326 01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:12,600 With Titties On Top. 1327 01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:28,400 - Can I see Stu? - Just a sec- 1328 01:12:28,500 --> 01:12:29,600 Yeah. 1329 01:12:29,700 --> 01:12:32,500 Stu, I need you. It's important. 1330 01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:34,800 I'm Dr. Charlie Logan. 1331 01:12:34,900 --> 01:12:37,500 I don't know who this Stu is you speak of. 1332 01:12:47,700 --> 01:12:48,600 Call me. 1333 01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:49,700 I need your help. 1334 01:12:49,800 --> 01:12:51,700 Hey, are we still friends? 1335 01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:54,100 Cam is going to fall in love with and get married 1336 01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:56,300 to the next guy she goes on a date with, right? 1337 01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:58,500 I'm going to be that next guy. 1338 01:12:58,600 --> 01:13:00,100 Yeah. You're a plastic surgeon. 1339 01:13:00,300 --> 01:13:03,000 You're going to... change my face up. 1340 01:13:03,100 --> 01:13:05,200 I don't care if you give me a beak. 1341 01:13:05,300 --> 01:13:07,200 I'm going to look like a different guy. 1342 01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:08,500 That way, when I meet her- 1343 01:13:08,600 --> 01:13:09,700 Hi. My name's Ronald- 1344 01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:11,900 I'm the new guy she falls in love with. 1345 01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,100 Let's go. Right now. 1346 01:13:13,200 --> 01:13:15,400 Don't look at me in that tone of voice. 1347 01:13:15,500 --> 01:13:18,000 I'm talking the truth. Please? 1348 01:13:18,100 --> 01:13:20,000 Chuck... 1349 01:13:20,100 --> 01:13:22,100 take a look around, man. 1350 01:13:22,200 --> 01:13:25,000 I mean, I can give you tits. You want tits? 1351 01:13:25,100 --> 01:13:27,900 So you're not going to help me. 1352 01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:31,400 Yes, but not by rearranging your face, man. 1353 01:13:31,500 --> 01:13:33,200 Come here. Have a seat. 1354 01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:35,800 There's got to be a better way, right? 1355 01:13:36,900 --> 01:13:38,800 I mean, I know things are bad now, 1356 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,900 but things could be a lot worse, right? 1357 01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:44,600 Listen, you could be like my cousin, man. 1358 01:13:44,700 --> 01:13:46,200 He found out last week 1359 01:13:46,300 --> 01:13:48,100 he's got an inoperable brain tumor. 1360 01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:50,900 That's horrible. 1361 01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,200 Yeah. 1362 01:13:52,300 --> 01:13:54,100 He's only got, like, one week left to live. 1363 01:13:56,500 --> 01:13:57,800 That is... 1364 01:13:59,300 --> 01:14:00,700 perfect. 1365 01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,000 That's perfect. He's the perfect guy for her. 1366 01:14:03,200 --> 01:14:04,100 What? 1367 01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:05,200 Yeah. There's no harm, right? 1368 01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:07,100 He gets laid. She falls in love. 1369 01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:08,300 He's dead within a week. 1370 01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:09,500 I swoop in, console her. 1371 01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:10,700 Bing-bang-boom, everybody's happy. 1372 01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:11,900 Hey! 1373 01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:14,700 Why don't you club her and have a wedding ceremony 1374 01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:15,600 while she's knocked unconscious? 1375 01:14:15,700 --> 01:14:16,900 That'd work! 1376 01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:20,900 What the hell is wrong with you? 1377 01:14:20,900 --> 01:14:24,400 You have to let her go. 1378 01:14:24,500 --> 01:14:27,900 That's the one thing I can't do. 1379 01:14:59,200 --> 01:15:01,200 - Next time I'll bring my suit. - Yeah. 1380 01:15:01,300 --> 01:15:02,600 Oh, no. 1381 01:15:02,700 --> 01:15:04,500 Oh, no. That's not good. 1382 01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:11,000 No. 1383 01:15:11,100 --> 01:15:13,300 It's over. 1384 01:15:13,400 --> 01:15:14,700 That has to be George. 1385 01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:16,900 George. 1386 01:15:19,400 --> 01:15:21,000 Hey, George! 1387 01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:22,700 - What's up, George? - What? 1388 01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:24,100 - How you doing, George? - I'm not George. 1389 01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:25,600 You're going to stay away from Cam, all right? 1390 01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:28,900 You're going to stay away from Cam, you hear me? 1391 01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:31,600 - You're George! - Charlie! 1392 01:15:31,700 --> 01:15:33,200 - I'm not George! - Cam! 1393 01:15:33,300 --> 01:15:34,400 What are you doing? 1394 01:15:34,500 --> 01:15:36,400 I just met George. He's a real jerk. 1395 01:15:36,500 --> 01:15:37,900 You shouldn't like him. I want to see you. 1396 01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,500 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! 1397 01:15:40,700 --> 01:15:41,600 No! 1398 01:15:42,300 --> 01:15:44,700 Falling. 1399 01:15:46,400 --> 01:15:47,700 What is wrong with you? 1400 01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:53,100 I'm being bitten! 1401 01:15:53,200 --> 01:15:55,400 Does he have fish in his pants? 1402 01:16:00,700 --> 01:16:03,800 Oh, those fuckers are vicious. 1403 01:16:03,900 --> 01:16:05,300 Yeah? Well, they don't like it 1404 01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:07,000 when someone disturbs their environment. 1405 01:16:07,100 --> 01:16:08,600 Time to go, buddy. 1406 01:16:08,700 --> 01:16:10,600 I know I've been acting crazy, but there's a reasonable- 1407 01:16:10,700 --> 01:16:11,900 Let me guess, Charlie. 1408 01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:13,400 You believe you're a lucky charm, 1409 01:16:13,500 --> 01:16:16,400 and you're afraid I'm going to marry the next guy I date, 1410 01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:19,000 so you've been smothering me and attacking my friends. 1411 01:16:19,100 --> 01:16:20,100 What about George, okay? 1412 01:16:20,300 --> 01:16:21,700 What about your date with George? 1413 01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:23,700 Wednesday night? What big date with George? 1414 01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:25,500 George is my hairdresser! 1415 01:16:27,300 --> 01:16:29,900 Excuse me. I'm sorry. I was eavesdropping. 1416 01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:31,900 Are you really Charlie Logan the lucky charm? 1417 01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:34,600 Because... I was wondering- 1418 01:16:34,700 --> 01:16:36,800 I can't. I'm sorry. Cam, listen. Cam- 1419 01:16:36,900 --> 01:16:38,800 - No. Charlie, I just don't think we can do this anymore. 1420 01:16:38,900 --> 01:16:39,700 - Don't say it! 1421 01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:41,100 - It's not working. - Please, Cam. 1422 01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:43,300 Please, just don't say it's over. 1423 01:16:45,500 --> 01:16:46,600 It's over. 1424 01:17:15,700 --> 01:17:16,600 Dr. Charlie? 1425 01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:18,600 Hi, Reba. 1426 01:17:18,700 --> 01:17:20,600 I've been calling you all day. 1427 01:17:20,700 --> 01:17:21,800 Where have you been? 1428 01:17:21,900 --> 01:17:23,800 Decided to take another day off. 1429 01:17:23,800 --> 01:17:26,700 Hey, does our building have roof access? 1430 01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:30,000 Oh, things can't be that bad. 1431 01:17:30,100 --> 01:17:33,400 You know, I owe you a thank-you. 1432 01:17:33,500 --> 01:17:36,300 I met a guy, and he's wonderful. 1433 01:17:36,400 --> 01:17:38,000 I really think he's the one. 1434 01:17:38,100 --> 01:17:42,100 That's great. I'm happy for you. 1435 01:17:43,500 --> 01:17:46,800 You've done a good thing, Dr. Charlie. 1436 01:17:46,900 --> 01:17:50,200 Helping people find love. 1437 01:17:50,300 --> 01:17:51,600 It's great. 1438 01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:56,800 I bet you didn't think you'd be responsible 1439 01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:58,600 for helping me find true love again, 1440 01:17:58,700 --> 01:17:59,900 but you did. 1441 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,800 You did, Dr. Charlie. 1442 01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:14,400 Dr. Charlie, are you all right? 1443 01:18:14,500 --> 01:18:17,500 Love fall like rain. I'm in pain. 1444 01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:19,100 She was right, Reba. 1445 01:18:19,200 --> 01:18:20,200 It's raining. 1446 01:18:20,300 --> 01:18:22,100 Oh, my God! 1447 01:18:26,100 --> 01:18:27,800 Stu, I need to Google something. 1448 01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:29,100 Unacceptable! 1449 01:18:29,200 --> 01:18:30,400 Hey! 1450 01:18:30,500 --> 01:18:31,700 I wish I hadn't seen that! 1451 01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:33,700 A man can't masturbate in his own house? 1452 01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:35,200 That is disgusting. 1453 01:18:35,300 --> 01:18:36,500 It's a known fact 1454 01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:38,200 that stimulation of the prostate- 1455 01:18:38,300 --> 01:18:40,600 No, no, no, no. Just get dressed 1456 01:18:40,700 --> 01:18:42,300 and wash your hands! 1457 01:18:45,100 --> 01:18:47,200 All I know is that I'm hexed. 1458 01:18:47,300 --> 01:18:49,800 Yeah. If by hexed you mean bat-shit crazy, 1459 01:18:49,900 --> 01:18:51,000 then yeah, you're hexed, man. 1460 01:18:51,100 --> 01:18:52,200 Don't you remember? 1461 01:18:52,300 --> 01:18:53,600 Black lipstick, long fingernails. A total freak. 1462 01:18:53,700 --> 01:18:55,400 She wanted me to show her my penis. 1463 01:18:55,400 --> 01:18:57,000 I wouldn't, so she pulled my nipples 1464 01:18:57,100 --> 01:18:58,500 and put a hex on me. 1465 01:18:58,700 --> 01:19:01,400 Stu, I've lost the most special person of my life. 1466 01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:03,500 I have to break this spell. 1467 01:19:03,600 --> 01:19:05,800 You haven't lost me, dude. 1468 01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:07,100 I'm here for you always. 1469 01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:08,900 Just drive the fucking car. 1470 01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:15,000 Oh, I'm so sorry, buddy. 1471 01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:21,400 Hey, what's up with Chester? 1472 01:19:21,500 --> 01:19:23,400 His girlfriend Molly's sick. 1473 01:19:23,500 --> 01:19:25,500 I sent her away for treatment. 1474 01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:27,300 He stopped grooming himself. 1475 01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:31,600 It's heartbreaking, you know? 1476 01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:33,100 If she doesn't come back, 1477 01:19:33,200 --> 01:19:35,700 he may never find another mate. 1478 01:19:41,300 --> 01:19:45,300 Murphy, maybe you reacted too harshly. 1479 01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:47,300 You should call him. 1480 01:19:47,400 --> 01:19:48,600 I can't, Joe. 1481 01:19:48,700 --> 01:19:50,700 You saw him. He's crazy. 1482 01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:53,700 Love does that to you sometimes. 1483 01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:56,000 I don't want another one of your philosophy lessons, Joe. 1484 01:19:56,100 --> 01:19:58,000 He was smothering me. 1485 01:19:58,100 --> 01:20:00,300 I want to be part of someone's life, 1486 01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:01,500 not all of it. 1487 01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:06,000 Have you taken a look at your bedroom lately? 1488 01:20:06,100 --> 01:20:07,600 If you love something, 1489 01:20:07,700 --> 01:20:11,100 sometimes you just want to be surrounded by it. 1490 01:20:18,800 --> 01:20:20,500 That's it. That's it. 1491 01:20:24,500 --> 01:20:27,000 How can I get her to break the spell? 1492 01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:29,500 I don't know. She wanted to look at your penis, right? 1493 01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:31,000 That was a joke. 1494 01:20:31,100 --> 01:20:32,400 Chuck? 1495 01:20:34,100 --> 01:20:35,300 Chuck, that was a joke. 1496 01:20:36,300 --> 01:20:37,300 Oh, my God. 1497 01:20:43,800 --> 01:20:46,000 Hi. Is your mother home? 1498 01:20:47,700 --> 01:20:50,400 Is your mother's name Anisha? 1499 01:20:50,500 --> 01:20:52,800 What's with the 50 questions? 1500 01:20:52,900 --> 01:20:54,300 That was two questions. 1501 01:20:54,400 --> 01:20:55,700 It's a hyperbole. 1502 01:20:55,800 --> 01:20:57,300 Sweetheart, who is it? 1503 01:20:59,200 --> 01:21:03,000 Are you Anisha Carpenter? 1504 01:21:03,100 --> 01:21:05,000 Do I know you? 1505 01:21:06,500 --> 01:21:08,200 Charlie Logan. 1506 01:21:09,500 --> 01:21:12,200 Look, I know this is going to sound crazy, 1507 01:21:12,300 --> 01:21:14,900 but you put a hex on me 1508 01:21:15,000 --> 01:21:16,200 so that all my girlfriends 1509 01:21:16,300 --> 01:21:18,100 would fall in love with other people, 1510 01:21:18,200 --> 01:21:19,900 and I need you... 1511 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:21,500 to reverse the spell? 1512 01:21:25,700 --> 01:21:26,900 Woo! That- That's your pendant. 1513 01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:28,400 You used to wear that! 1514 01:21:28,500 --> 01:21:31,400 You wore it at the party when you pulled out my hair 1515 01:21:31,500 --> 01:21:33,100 and did the- with the thing. 1516 01:21:33,200 --> 01:21:34,500 And then you wanted to see my penis, 1517 01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:35,700 and I said no. 1518 01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:37,700 Go to your room, Lila. Lock the door. 1519 01:21:37,800 --> 01:21:39,200 But this is just getting good. 1520 01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:40,200 Now. 1521 01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:43,900 I'm sorry. 1522 01:21:44,000 --> 01:21:48,400 What can I do to convince you to help me? 1523 01:22:06,600 --> 01:22:10,300 This spell- turn it off, please. 1524 01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:11,800 Charlie, I was just a kid. 1525 01:22:11,900 --> 01:22:13,200 I didn't know what I was doing. 1526 01:22:13,300 --> 01:22:14,600 I don't even know what I did. 1527 01:22:14,700 --> 01:22:16,200 You fucked up my life! 1528 01:22:16,300 --> 01:22:17,400 That's what you did. 1529 01:22:17,500 --> 01:22:19,200 I asked you to watch your language. 1530 01:22:19,300 --> 01:22:21,600 Your room. Now. 1531 01:22:24,500 --> 01:22:29,600 Anisha, I am begging you. 1532 01:22:29,700 --> 01:22:32,000 Have you ever wanted someone so badly 1533 01:22:32,100 --> 01:22:34,200 that you would do anything to get them? 1534 01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:38,500 If someone's meant to be yours, 1535 01:22:38,600 --> 01:22:41,100 eventually they will be. 1536 01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:47,200 No. Wait. No! 1537 01:22:47,300 --> 01:22:49,100 If you think that by me being here, 1538 01:22:49,200 --> 01:22:50,300 we're supposed to get together- 1539 01:22:50,400 --> 01:22:53,400 I wasn't talking about you. 1540 01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:56,700 My husband Kurt. 1541 01:22:56,900 --> 01:22:59,400 Really, Charlie, I was 10. 1542 01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:01,500 I may have thought I was in love, 1543 01:23:01,600 --> 01:23:03,500 but I was also hot for Scott Baio. 1544 01:23:05,000 --> 01:23:06,400 So- 1545 01:23:12,200 --> 01:23:15,000 I've blown it. 1546 01:23:16,100 --> 01:23:19,400 Well, then, all you can do is let her go. 1547 01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:31,500 Yeah, dude! 1548 01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:33,300 You're my hero! 1549 01:23:35,700 --> 01:23:38,300 How was she? 1550 01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:39,500 Take me home. 1551 01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:42,400 I'm not that easy, man. 1552 01:23:42,500 --> 01:23:45,500 You're going to have to take me to dinner first. 1553 01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:47,700 You little munchkin. 1554 01:23:47,900 --> 01:23:49,600 I have to set her free, 1555 01:23:49,700 --> 01:23:51,800 let Mother Nature take its course. 1556 01:23:51,900 --> 01:23:53,700 If you love something, set it free, right? 1557 01:23:55,500 --> 01:23:57,600 I think Cam is really going to respond 1558 01:23:57,700 --> 01:23:59,000 to the new gay you, Chuck. 1559 01:23:59,100 --> 01:24:01,200 Take me home. 1560 01:24:01,300 --> 01:24:02,900 I got a phone call to make. 1561 01:24:15,100 --> 01:24:18,000 Hi. I'm trying to find Howard Blaine. 1562 01:24:18,100 --> 01:24:19,300 Hi, Howard. 1563 01:24:19,400 --> 01:24:21,100 Um, we've never met, 1564 01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:25,500 but I have a friend that you really need to meet. 1565 01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:33,000 Howard? 1566 01:25:50,500 --> 01:25:52,100 Eat me. 1567 01:25:52,200 --> 01:25:53,700 Eat me. 1568 01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:55,200 Gotcha. 1569 01:25:57,600 --> 01:25:58,800 Owned. 1570 01:25:59,800 --> 01:26:01,800 Owned. 1571 01:26:01,900 --> 01:26:03,600 I'm getting married! 1572 01:26:04,800 --> 01:26:07,300 Chuck! I found my dream girl, 1573 01:26:07,400 --> 01:26:10,400 and it's all because of you I just proposed. 1574 01:26:10,500 --> 01:26:12,300 Lara, get your sweet ass over here. 1575 01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:13,700 You remember Lara? 1576 01:26:15,700 --> 01:26:17,800 Lara stepped out of heaven- 1577 01:26:18,900 --> 01:26:22,300 and into my office to correct a condition. 1578 01:26:22,400 --> 01:26:23,600 She's got polymastia. 1579 01:26:24,800 --> 01:26:26,600 Has more than two boobs. 1580 01:26:26,700 --> 01:26:28,800 Isn't that perfect for me? Show him. 1581 01:26:28,900 --> 01:26:29,800 No, no. 1582 01:26:29,900 --> 01:26:31,200 No, no, that's okay. 1583 01:26:31,300 --> 01:26:32,600 Really. I don't mind. 1584 01:26:32,700 --> 01:26:34,900 Yeah, I used to be embarrassed about it, 1585 01:26:34,900 --> 01:26:36,700 but that was before pookie pants here 1586 01:26:36,800 --> 01:26:39,000 made me realize how special I am. 1587 01:26:39,100 --> 01:26:40,200 Oh, baby, you're so goddamn special. 1588 01:26:40,300 --> 01:26:42,100 Oh, I love you, monkey pie. 1589 01:26:42,200 --> 01:26:43,700 - Okay, show him. - Okay. 1590 01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:48,300 Is that or is that not 1591 01:26:48,400 --> 01:26:50,600 the most beautiful sight you've ever seen in your life? 1592 01:26:50,700 --> 01:26:53,900 It's like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. 1593 01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:56,600 It's like seeing Earth from space. 1594 01:26:56,700 --> 01:26:58,400 Like Three's Company, 1595 01:26:58,500 --> 01:27:00,400 but all Chrissies, you know what I'm saying? 1596 01:27:00,500 --> 01:27:01,600 I'm happy for you, buddy. 1597 01:27:02,900 --> 01:27:05,800 But, dude, that's not why we came, okay? 1598 01:27:05,900 --> 01:27:09,300 Did you know that it smells like shit in here? 1599 01:27:09,500 --> 01:27:11,300 You may want to open a window. 1600 01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:12,800 It's making me a little- 1601 01:27:12,900 --> 01:27:14,100 Okay, you tell him, baby. 1602 01:27:14,200 --> 01:27:16,800 Okay, so I'm friends with Katie, who knows Cam, 1603 01:27:16,900 --> 01:27:18,900 and she said that Cam said she's leaving today 1604 01:27:19,100 --> 01:27:21,600 for Antarctica with some penguin guru. 1605 01:27:25,100 --> 01:27:28,100 That's nice. I'm happy for her. 1606 01:27:31,400 --> 01:27:34,000 You sure as shit don't look happy. 1607 01:27:34,100 --> 01:27:37,200 I loved something, and I set her free. 1608 01:27:37,300 --> 01:27:39,000 She met somebody else. 1609 01:27:39,100 --> 01:27:42,100 But I set her free. That's what's important. 1610 01:27:48,600 --> 01:27:50,600 She's leaving, buddy... 1611 01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:53,300 for Antarctica... 1612 01:27:54,600 --> 01:27:56,100 right now. 1613 01:27:56,200 --> 01:28:00,300 She is going. 1614 01:28:00,400 --> 01:28:04,500 She's going. 1615 01:28:04,600 --> 01:28:09,900 She's... leaving. 1616 01:28:09,900 --> 01:28:11,300 What the fuck am I doing? 1617 01:28:11,400 --> 01:28:12,500 That's what we're saying! 1618 01:28:12,600 --> 01:28:15,300 Go! Go get your girl, will you? 1619 01:28:15,400 --> 01:28:16,400 He's a little slow. 1620 01:28:48,000 --> 01:28:50,400 Excuse me. I'm sorry, guys. 1621 01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:51,800 Ma'am, excuse me. 1622 01:28:54,400 --> 01:28:57,600 Has the flight for Antarctica boarded yet? 1623 01:28:57,700 --> 01:28:59,800 There are no direct flights, sir. 1624 01:28:59,900 --> 01:29:00,900 Connecting flight? 1625 01:29:01,100 --> 01:29:03,000 Which one? There are two. 1626 01:29:03,100 --> 01:29:04,200 Has the flight 1627 01:29:04,300 --> 01:29:06,900 with a passenger named Cam Wexler boarded yet? 1628 01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:10,300 Sorry, sir. Can't give you that information. 1629 01:29:10,400 --> 01:29:12,800 Sir, you won't be able to go to the gate without a ticket. 1630 01:29:12,900 --> 01:29:15,400 I have to get to Antarctica, 1631 01:29:15,500 --> 01:29:18,600 so I will take a ticket for both planes. 1632 01:29:18,700 --> 01:29:22,300 There are only first class tickets available, sir. 1633 01:29:22,400 --> 01:29:25,600 Of course there are. I'll take them both. 1634 01:29:27,200 --> 01:29:29,200 Are you traveling with any baggage? 1635 01:29:29,300 --> 01:29:30,400 No. 1636 01:29:30,500 --> 01:29:32,200 No. 1637 01:29:32,300 --> 01:29:34,800 You do realize that it's -60 degrees there. 1638 01:29:34,900 --> 01:29:35,900 Yes. 1639 01:29:38,200 --> 01:29:40,700 And that'll be $17,412. 1640 01:29:47,500 --> 01:29:48,500 Just do it. 1641 01:29:52,900 --> 01:29:54,000 Here you go. 1642 01:30:02,600 --> 01:30:05,100 Shoes, belt, watch. 1643 01:30:05,200 --> 01:30:07,100 You've never been to an airport, dummy? 1644 01:30:14,500 --> 01:30:15,800 What goes in pockets? 1645 01:30:15,900 --> 01:30:17,100 Change. 1646 01:30:17,200 --> 01:30:19,100 Change. Change goes in pockets. 1647 01:30:19,200 --> 01:30:20,300 Put it in the little bucket. 1648 01:30:20,400 --> 01:30:21,800 Don't waste my big bucket. 1649 01:30:21,900 --> 01:30:23,400 No. Small bucket! 1650 01:30:23,500 --> 01:30:24,800 I don't need it. 1651 01:30:24,900 --> 01:30:26,000 Want to make this quick? 1652 01:30:26,100 --> 01:30:27,500 I am in a real hurry. 1653 01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:29,000 Let's do this. Take your pants off. 1654 01:30:29,100 --> 01:30:30,400 What? 1655 01:30:30,500 --> 01:30:32,600 You heard me. Take your pants off. 1656 01:30:34,800 --> 01:30:36,800 I'm kidding you, weirdo. Don't do that. 1657 01:30:36,900 --> 01:30:38,400 Why would you do that? 1658 01:30:38,500 --> 01:30:39,800 Come on, let's go. 1659 01:30:41,700 --> 01:30:44,100 Go, go, go. 1660 01:31:05,400 --> 01:31:06,300 Cam. 1661 01:31:07,700 --> 01:31:09,800 Wait! One more! Here. 1662 01:31:17,500 --> 01:31:18,500 I meant to do that. 1663 01:31:29,700 --> 01:31:30,600 Here. 1664 01:31:30,700 --> 01:31:31,700 Thanks. 1665 01:31:33,500 --> 01:31:34,500 Charlie? 1666 01:31:34,600 --> 01:31:36,800 I'm sorry. Please don't be mad. 1667 01:31:36,900 --> 01:31:39,700 Antarctica? You couldn't have just taken her to a movie? 1668 01:31:39,800 --> 01:31:41,000 Charlie- 1669 01:31:41,100 --> 01:31:43,200 Look, I know that it's crazy that I'm here, 1670 01:31:43,300 --> 01:31:45,900 but it felt even crazier not to come. 1671 01:31:46,100 --> 01:31:48,500 Excuse me. You have to take your seats. 1672 01:31:48,600 --> 01:31:49,500 Charlie- 1673 01:31:49,600 --> 01:31:50,700 My entire life, 1674 01:31:50,800 --> 01:31:52,400 I've been nothing more than a stepping-stone 1675 01:31:52,600 --> 01:31:54,300 to every relationship I've ever been in. 1676 01:31:54,400 --> 01:31:57,400 There's always been a next guy who's better than me. 1677 01:31:57,500 --> 01:32:01,400 For once in my life, I want to be that next guy. 1678 01:32:04,500 --> 01:32:08,400 I've never said this to anybody in my whole life. 1679 01:32:08,500 --> 01:32:09,500 Cam... 1680 01:32:13,300 --> 01:32:15,500 I love you. 1681 01:32:15,600 --> 01:32:17,000 I love you, Cam. 1682 01:32:19,600 --> 01:32:22,200 Please don't go. 1683 01:32:23,700 --> 01:32:27,200 Charlie, I'm coming back on Wednesday. 1684 01:32:27,300 --> 01:32:28,700 What? 1685 01:32:28,800 --> 01:32:29,700 Yeah. 1686 01:32:29,800 --> 01:32:30,900 But Howard and- 1687 01:32:31,000 --> 01:32:34,400 Have you met Howard's wife Marilyn? 1688 01:32:34,500 --> 01:32:36,800 Howard's wife? 1689 01:32:36,900 --> 01:32:38,400 Howard's wife. 1690 01:32:38,500 --> 01:32:39,500 Hi. 1691 01:32:39,600 --> 01:32:41,000 Hi, Howard's wife. 1692 01:32:41,100 --> 01:32:42,100 Howard's wife. 1693 01:32:42,100 --> 01:32:44,600 I know about your call to Howard. 1694 01:32:44,700 --> 01:32:46,400 I knew you wanted to meet him. 1695 01:32:46,500 --> 01:32:48,400 I knew it would make you happy. 1696 01:32:48,500 --> 01:32:50,700 I swear that's all I've ever wanted to do. 1697 01:32:50,800 --> 01:32:53,600 Plus, mate selection is up to the female. 1698 01:32:55,700 --> 01:32:57,700 But, Charlie, you've been acting so- 1699 01:32:57,900 --> 01:32:59,500 I know, I know. Idiotic, nuts. 1700 01:32:59,600 --> 01:33:01,600 And no more lucky charm excuse. 1701 01:33:01,700 --> 01:33:05,000 I'm done thinking about the past and what could be. 1702 01:33:05,100 --> 01:33:08,000 All I care about now is what is. 1703 01:33:08,100 --> 01:33:10,500 And this- 1704 01:33:10,600 --> 01:33:12,800 This is. 1705 01:33:15,800 --> 01:33:17,500 Ladies and gentlemen, 1706 01:33:17,600 --> 01:33:19,300 we are about to close the cabin doors. 1707 01:33:19,400 --> 01:33:20,500 Please take your seats. 1708 01:33:23,600 --> 01:33:24,700 That's for you. 1709 01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:26,300 Here. 1710 01:33:46,700 --> 01:33:47,700 Charlie! 1711 01:33:57,700 --> 01:33:59,300 Excuse me, are you that guy who- 1712 01:33:59,500 --> 01:34:00,600 He isn't anymore. 1713 01:35:00,600 --> 01:35:01,800 Excuse me. 1714 01:35:16,700 --> 01:35:19,600 Giggle monkey, what are you looking for? 1715 01:35:19,700 --> 01:35:21,000 Sex tapes. 1716 01:35:21,100 --> 01:35:24,700 What is the point in house sitting if you can't scope out 1717 01:35:24,800 --> 01:35:27,900 some good old-fashioned homemade porn! 1718 01:35:28,000 --> 01:35:30,300 - Score! - You're a genius. 1719 01:35:32,400 --> 01:35:33,500 Okay. 1720 01:35:33,600 --> 01:35:34,500 Hold on. 1721 01:35:42,500 --> 01:35:44,400 Do it. Do it. Oh, yeah. 1722 01:35:44,500 --> 01:35:45,400 Babe. 1723 01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:47,000 Yeah, what? 1724 01:35:47,100 --> 01:35:48,100 Oh, you like that. 1725 01:35:48,300 --> 01:35:50,200 You like when I do stuff with the- 1726 01:35:50,300 --> 01:35:52,700 All right. I'll do it for just one last time. 1727 01:35:52,800 --> 01:35:53,700 This is it. 1728 01:35:53,800 --> 01:35:54,900 Okay. 1729 01:35:55,000 --> 01:35:56,000 Because I'm not into bestiality, 1730 01:35:56,100 --> 01:35:57,500 and you know that. That's documented. 1731 01:35:57,600 --> 01:35:59,100 No, I know. It's fake. 1732 01:35:59,200 --> 01:36:00,100 All right. 1733 01:36:00,200 --> 01:36:01,100 But it's hot. 1734 01:36:01,200 --> 01:36:02,100 Okay. 1735 01:36:02,200 --> 01:36:04,500 Hey. So, uh... 1736 01:36:04,600 --> 01:36:05,800 so do you want to- 1737 01:36:05,900 --> 01:36:07,400 You come to this glacier often? 1738 01:36:08,700 --> 01:36:12,200 I'm really interested in you because you're a Gentoo soul. 1739 01:36:13,400 --> 01:36:14,700 You like that? 1740 01:36:14,800 --> 01:36:17,100 Yeah, I like that. Do it faster. 1741 01:36:17,200 --> 01:36:19,300 You like... when I do that? 1742 01:36:20,600 --> 01:36:22,500 You ever seen me go down on a- 1743 01:36:22,600 --> 01:36:23,700 Shh. It's okay. No, no. 1744 01:36:23,800 --> 01:36:25,200 Baby, baby, don't worry. 1745 01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:28,500 Yeah, I like that. 1746 01:36:34,300 --> 01:36:35,500 You like that, don't you? 1747 01:36:35,600 --> 01:36:36,500 Yeah. 1748 01:36:36,600 --> 01:36:37,600 Oh, that's so hot. 1749 01:36:37,700 --> 01:36:39,900 Shh. No more "Uhh. " No more "Uhh. " 1750 01:36:42,900 --> 01:36:44,700 Do it. Yeah. 1751 01:36:44,800 --> 01:36:45,700 Oh, yeah. 1752 01:36:46,800 --> 01:36:49,800 That's really good. 1753 01:36:50,000 --> 01:36:51,400 Okay, now do the other thing. 1754 01:36:51,500 --> 01:36:52,600 Do the other thing. 1755 01:36:55,800 --> 01:36:57,800 Look at me. Here's really what you like. 1756 01:36:57,900 --> 01:36:59,700 Yeah, you know what I like. 1757 01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:03,300 Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm really getting in the mood now. 1758 01:37:03,400 --> 01:37:05,300 You like when I eat your penguin ass? 1759 01:37:05,400 --> 01:37:07,700 Yeah. Baby, I think I'm ready. 1760 01:37:09,100 --> 01:37:12,600 Turn it off, baby. 1761 01:37:14,300 --> 01:37:15,500 You still in the mood? 1762 01:37:15,600 --> 01:37:16,500 Yeah. 1763 01:37:16,700 --> 01:37:17,600 All right. 1764 01:41:08,900 --> 01:41:11,900 Subtitled by J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 1765 01:41:12,305 --> 01:41:18,314 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/m2a2 Help other users to choose the best subtitles119672