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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,540 --> 00:00:29,180 People of Castellabate, come out of your houses. 2 00:00:29,210 --> 00:00:31,890 Come join our protest. 3 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,190 No to unification! 4 00:00:34,220 --> 00:00:36,270 We don't want to go part-time. 5 00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:39,110 No to part-time work! 6 00:00:40,060 --> 00:00:42,950 - Mattia, come and protest. - Hurry. 7 00:00:42,980 --> 00:00:45,660 Hey, it's not that I don't want to take part, 8 00:00:45,690 --> 00:00:49,790 in fact I'm behind you because you're doing a good thing. 9 00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:53,210 But I need to be part-time, so I'll have more time for myself. 10 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,670 No point in having time but no money! 11 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:58,040 Or money and no time! 12 00:00:58,370 --> 00:01:02,170 And to be honest, I have certain responsibilities. 13 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:05,050 Edinson, kick it to daddy! 14 00:01:07,630 --> 00:01:10,050 You hit the post! 15 00:02:17,450 --> 00:02:20,920 - Fine dust particles don't worry you? - No. 16 00:02:20,950 --> 00:02:24,510 - And the medium ones? - Try and enjoy the day. 17 00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:27,510 It was better in Usmate. 18 00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:52,030 You insisted we move to Milan, you knew about the smog! 19 00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:55,950 Let's get a house in the mountains like everyone else. 20 00:02:55,980 --> 00:02:59,710 Never, because we're original, unconventional, we're... 21 00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:01,420 Misers! 22 00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:05,800 And you're always busy with your post office job... 23 00:03:05,830 --> 00:03:08,470 After that fraud incident I'm under scrutiny, 24 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,670 I have to give it my all! 25 00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:17,390 Darling, the mountains are good for us. 26 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,680 Remember our first kiss at the Alpine soldier party? 27 00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,980 - You don't? - I'd drank a litre of grappa. 28 00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:28,650 This time don't drink so you'll remember all my kisses. 29 00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:32,200 So we're agreed about the house, okay? 30 00:03:32,650 --> 00:03:34,450 Chicco? 31 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:44,710 WELCOME TO THE NORTH 32 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:53,420 I've often asked myself... 33 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:58,980 why did St. Paul write all those letters to the Corinthians? 34 00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:01,850 But more importantly... 35 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,310 why didn't the Corinthians ever reply? 36 00:04:04,930 --> 00:04:11,110 I'll tell you why: the Italian postal service didn't exist! 37 00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:14,740 Excuse me. 38 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,910 Excuse me. Mario! 39 00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:21,290 The PO's upper crust is here, maybe they've forgiven me. 40 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,370 It's taken. 41 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,960 It's reserved. 42 00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:28,920 It's pre-booked. 43 00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:32,460 Even important families have black sheep. 44 00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:36,130 And the blackest of all is him. 45 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:38,140 Alberto Colombo. 46 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:47,320 Here he is, playing the part of a handicapped person. 47 00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:50,190 Look at his limp hand. 48 00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:53,410 Now we have the real performance: 49 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,950 the spasms of the face and of the intestines, 50 00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:59,990 somewhat oriental, like a dance... 51 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,670 And watch this: here's his best move. 52 00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:07,960 He shakes his hand, the chair falls, 53 00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:10,460 a perfect jerk expression. 54 00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:13,300 A first-rate comedian. 55 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:20,930 But now let's move on to the best among you. 56 00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:26,180 What branch was most productive? 57 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:29,070 Who is the man of the year? 58 00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:32,770 It's him again, Alberto Colombo! 59 00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:35,700 Thanks, thanks. 60 00:05:35,730 --> 00:05:38,070 A role model for all. 61 00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:41,870 Alberto Colombo is the proof that each of you 62 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,950 can change and improve. 63 00:05:45,150 --> 00:05:49,460 Therefore, I'm entrusting him with the project I care most about. 64 00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:52,010 It's a Japanese pilot project: 65 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:58,930 to create a perfect post office as a model for the country. 66 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:02,430 Colombo! Colombo! 67 00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:07,850 Thanks, thanks... 68 00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:12,940 - What happened? - I was excited... 69 00:06:13,310 --> 00:06:16,230 I mean, I spilt some water. 70 00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:23,160 Please, take me on. Working with Palmisani is my dream. 71 00:06:23,190 --> 00:06:28,120 - Only if you say you're a bastard. - I'm a bastard, never doubted it! 72 00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:31,250 A terrible bastard! 73 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,420 You're irresponsible. 74 00:06:34,450 --> 00:06:37,880 Tell me why you agree with being part-time. 75 00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:41,010 I agree with it because... I did it for you. 76 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:45,310 So when you go back to work and become an executive, 77 00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:47,690 I can look after the kid. 78 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,520 Right, you'll leave him with your morn and go to the beach. 79 00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:55,570 We need two wages to buy a house. 80 00:06:55,600 --> 00:07:01,830 Why? This place is fine: it's bright, spacious and cheap. 81 00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:04,990 Plus we have privacy, seclusion... 82 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,660 Lunch is ready! 83 00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:18,050 - Eat up for mummy! - Here we are! 84 00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:23,430 - You got the smallest one! - The big ones were gone. 85 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,810 We need to call the plumber, the toilet's not flushing. 86 00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:31,480 We need to call the plumber, the toilet's not flushing. 87 00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:34,190 - I'll call him tomorrow. - She'll call him tomorrow. 88 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,860 I said it to you, not your mother. 89 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:40,690 - What matters is that it's fixed. - The toilet's important. 90 00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:43,570 It's essential for a house. 91 00:07:45,650 --> 00:07:50,250 - I'm sick of living here. - Because of the toilet? 92 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,630 I want to buy our own house. Everyone has one, why not us? 93 00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:57,510 Maybe I should go call the plumber. 94 00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,840 Edinson, come with grandma. 95 00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:08,770 I can't take on that debt, that property deal... 96 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,730 It's called a mortgage. Why don't you use the proper name? 97 00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:18,940 I just can't, I can't breathe when I have to say that word... 98 00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:28,410 I can't say it! 99 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,240 It'll take 30 years, that's a life sentence! 100 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:36,460 I can't be with a man who can't say "mortgage", got it? 101 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,010 - Where are you going? - I'm leaving. 102 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,760 No, don't. Think of Edinson... 103 00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:46,720 I don't want to be with a kid, and you're a kid! Get lost! 104 00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:51,640 If you leave me I'll jump out the window! 105 00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:55,270 Go ahead. 106 00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:03,320 Maria, I love you! I swear I love you! 107 00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:05,530 I'll shout it to the world! 108 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:08,450 - Come out. - Making a scene is useless. 109 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,160 You're a clown. 110 00:09:10,190 --> 00:09:13,080 I'm being serious. I'll stay here until Christmas. 111 00:09:13,110 --> 00:09:15,540 Fine! 112 00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:18,040 Help me! 113 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,040 Help me! 114 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:27,350 Put me down, you've made a mistake, 115 00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:31,680 my heart's been trashed now I'm in the trash! 116 00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:35,100 Scapece, come get me at the dump. 117 00:09:35,130 --> 00:09:37,690 Put me down, understood? 118 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,940 Without my wife and son, what's the point of living? 119 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,950 - I'll kill myself. - Don't joke. 120 00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:48,700 These thoughts you have, you shouldn't have them. 121 00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:52,000 You're right, don't think thoughts. 122 00:09:52,030 --> 00:09:54,660 What are you babbling on about? 123 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:58,710 - I'll slit my wrists. - No, the blood goes everywhere. 124 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:01,000 You'll make a mess at home... 125 00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:05,630 Knowing your morn, she'll clean up then kill you a second time. 126 00:10:05,660 --> 00:10:08,640 I'll throw myself into the sea, I've just eaten. 127 00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:11,300 - Into the sea? - Have 3 hours gone by? 128 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:18,600 If 3 hours have gone by, you can go in the water and not die. 129 00:10:19,430 --> 00:10:22,360 I didn't think dying was so hard. 130 00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:51,380 - I've thought of something! - Suicide options again? 131 00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:54,560 Worse! The death of my heart... 132 00:10:54,590 --> 00:10:58,140 I applied for a transfer to Pordenone. 133 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,770 Tell Maria how much she hurt me. 134 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,400 Pordenone? 135 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,110 What a terrible death. 136 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,080 - Hello? - Maria's left Mattia. 137 00:11:21,110 --> 00:11:23,290 - But even worse... - Who is this? 138 00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:27,550 - Costabile Senior. - And Junior. 139 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,220 What a pleasure! 140 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:33,510 - Mattia wants to go to Pordenone. - Hear that? 141 00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:36,050 He'll die in the north for sure! 142 00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:38,980 There's fog, the food's awful... 143 00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:42,480 - The people are cold. - And heartless. 144 00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:44,440 Thanks, you're so kind. 145 00:11:44,510 --> 00:11:46,480 Don't mention it, Alberto. 146 00:11:46,510 --> 00:11:49,860 You're a friend, transfer him to Milan. 147 00:11:49,890 --> 00:11:51,610 At least there he'd have you. 148 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,240 Calm down, it's not my office. 149 00:11:54,270 --> 00:11:56,740 I'd help if I could, but how can I? 150 00:11:56,770 --> 00:12:00,250 A new guy's just arrived, I can't get rid of him. 151 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:04,460 Plus he's an "untouchable", you know what I mean? 152 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:08,040 - You see? They're heartless. - You're right. 153 00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:11,130 Thanks, speak soon. Hang up. 154 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,470 Bye, take care. 155 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,090 Hi, Magonza. 156 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,910 Magonza, I'm the manager. I'd like to welcome you. 157 00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:37,110 You're very kind. 158 00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:42,080 - Here. Shall I help you? - Thanks. 159 00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:48,170 - Be careful! - It's my fault. 160 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:53,590 - May I ask... how long? - Since birth. 161 00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:07,270 Are you feeling okay? 162 00:13:07,930 --> 00:13:10,150 I've got a sore throat. 163 00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:13,110 - Is the air con too cold? - No. 164 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,870 I feel cold now. 165 00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:23,790 Now I feel hot. 166 00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:30,420 - I hope you'll be happy here. - Thanks. 167 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:48,190 - That money's mine. - Finders keepers... 168 00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:58,780 - Sorry. - No problem. 169 00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:08,460 I knew it! 170 00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:12,420 Ciro! 171 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,170 Nice. 172 00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:18,510 False alarm, there'll be no unification. 173 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:21,970 - And no part-time. - Great! 174 00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:25,470 Mattia, a surprise for you. 175 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,400 Transferred to Milan? 176 00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:37,440 - Happy? We saved you. - Milan's much better than Pordenone. 177 00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:43,120 - You did this? - We're your friends, we help you. 178 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,620 Help? You've killed me! 179 00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:49,670 Who wants to go to Pordenone? I didn't want to go. 180 00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:54,170 - That's why we contacted Milan. - I don't want to go to Milan! 181 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,340 I said I wanted to die so you actually kill me? 182 00:14:57,580 --> 00:15:01,930 It was just to scare Maria. Don't you understand the mechanism? 183 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:07,100 I tell you, you tell Maria. It's called being a grass! 184 00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:13,270 So it was all a farce? What have we done! 185 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:15,690 You can always turn it down. 186 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,780 How? It's an immediate transfer. 187 00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:20,400 I can't say no. 188 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:26,240 - He could resign. - No, he'd lose Maria like that! 189 00:15:26,730 --> 00:15:29,660 What was that about grassing? 190 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:33,500 - I tell you, and you... - I tell myself. 191 00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:37,170 Do you know that in our working life 192 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:41,420 we waste over 2 years greeting each other? 193 00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:44,800 8.5 months having coffee. 194 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,850 Do you know that since you started working, 195 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,020 you have spent 1.5 years in the toilet? 196 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:54,230 Do you think that's healthy? No. 197 00:15:54,260 --> 00:15:58,950 A perfect office is an office that abolishes time-wasting. 198 00:15:58,980 --> 00:16:02,700 Colombo, you will be our Marchionne! 199 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,080 - Hope I don't disappoint you. - You won't. Your values... 200 00:16:07,110 --> 00:16:11,410 are the values of our project: efficiency, readiness, punctuality, 201 00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:15,290 energy, smiles, in one word... 202 00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:18,010 E.R.P.E.S. 203 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,760 I know, the Italian translation doesn't really work. 204 00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:23,920 In Japanese, it's "Banzai". 205 00:16:24,130 --> 00:16:27,220 - Nonsense, Erpes is great. - Yes, great. 206 00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:29,730 You have a year to pull it off. 207 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,650 You're the right man to spread Erpes. 208 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,850 Every Saturday you'll meet various Italian offices. 209 00:16:36,010 --> 00:16:37,860 - He can't. - Why? 210 00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:40,990 He promised to go to the mountains with his wife. 211 00:16:41,020 --> 00:16:43,860 - How do you know? - Silvia told me. I'm single. 212 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:46,610 So what? I'm separated. 213 00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:48,490 I'm sorry. 214 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,420 My wife talks and talks, but in the end I decide. 215 00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:54,130 Yeah, right. 216 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,790 When will I get a chance like this again? 217 00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:59,210 - Never! - Right, exactly. 218 00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:08,680 Fried mozzarella, rice croquettes, and dough balls. 219 00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:11,180 - The stuffed peppers? - Right there. 220 00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:15,400 I put home-made pasta here. And your main dishes are here. 221 00:17:15,430 --> 00:17:18,520 - And here? - Starters. I kept them separate. 222 00:17:18,550 --> 00:17:21,650 - Great, that's tidier. - Where do these go? 223 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,660 - All those woollen jumpers? - It's cold in Milan. 224 00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:27,910 - In August? - It might not be summer there. 225 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:30,450 - Are the seasons different? - The Po Valley... 226 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,710 They're rich, they work hard and rush around. 227 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:36,830 And if you fall, they'll tread right over you. 228 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,710 - Why would I fall? - Because they rush around! 229 00:17:39,740 --> 00:17:44,300 And if you get ill, they'll let you die. 230 00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:49,560 - Why would I get ill? - Like she said, because it's cold! 231 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,470 Sorry, I was distracted. 232 00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:57,350 And anyway, going to the north isn't that bad. 233 00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,070 My brother left 15 years ago and never came back. 234 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:03,190 - Did he settle there? - He died. 235 00:18:07,650 --> 00:18:09,950 But remember... 236 00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:13,580 Alberto came here to the south with lots of prejudices too, 237 00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:16,410 and they were all nonsense. 238 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:22,580 Those about the south are nonsense, those about the north are true. 239 00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:25,960 - Come off it, mum! - You come off it! 240 00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:32,300 Go easy, mum. 241 00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:34,100 It won't close! 242 00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:38,150 Daddy'll teach you how to hit the ball with your head. 243 00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:41,190 Yes, because daddy has a hard head. 244 00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:45,980 I want to stay with you and our kid. 245 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,990 - Give me some hope. - You need to grow up. 246 00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:53,370 Grow up! 247 00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:56,120 I've prepared a list of Milanese words. 248 00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:58,620 Good morning is "smagattelot". 249 00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:00,920 Enjoy your meal is "Nassabinicutanne". 250 00:19:00,950 --> 00:19:03,000 Milk soup is... 251 00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:06,550 I can't ask for that in Milan! Come on! 252 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,680 I prepared this surprise for you, look! 253 00:19:09,710 --> 00:19:14,680 Anti-fog jacket, this'll be handy in Milan because it's foggy 254 00:19:14,710 --> 00:19:16,930 and you risk getting run over. 255 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,690 - Have a good journey! - Bye, thanks. 256 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,570 Mattia, look what I've brought you! 257 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:27,190 - Inter FC and Milan FC. - So you'll blend in there. 258 00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:29,610 Like a chameleon. 259 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:33,990 - I'll miss you. - Mattia! 260 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,410 Don't go, don't go up north! 261 00:19:38,490 --> 00:19:40,670 Mum, take it easy. 262 00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:43,590 Don't worry, Alberto is a true friend. 263 00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:45,880 Let's hope so. 264 00:19:50,370 --> 00:19:53,050 Mattia, don't go! 265 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:55,430 Don't go! 266 00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:22,370 Where are you heading? 267 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,080 - Milan. - Sweet Jesus! 268 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:34,510 - Hello? - Have you arrived? 269 00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:37,640 - I'm still in Salerno. - Put your wool jumper on! 270 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:42,140 - Let me get to Caserta! - Put it on, it's cold in Milan. 271 00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:44,060 But it's boiling now. 272 00:20:49,810 --> 00:20:53,530 - Hello? - You didn't call to say you arrived! 273 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,740 - I haven't yet. - Okay. 274 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,790 I put my wool jumper on, I did! 275 00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:02,830 Hello? He didn't even answer! 276 00:21:39,570 --> 00:21:43,620 I sent Chicco to sleep at his grandma's! 277 00:21:43,820 --> 00:21:47,040 Alpine soldier, we're all alone! 278 00:21:47,570 --> 00:21:50,380 Won't you ask me what we're celebrating? 279 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,970 I know perfectly well... 280 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:57,090 We are celebrating our... No, I know! Your... 281 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:58,970 Whose is it? 282 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,430 What are we celebrating? 283 00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:10,560 - What is it? - The house in the mountains! 284 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:15,570 I found it! There's even a leopard-skin fireplace. 285 00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:20,870 I signed a year contract before we lost the chance. 286 00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:22,950 Payment upfront? Great news! 287 00:22:22,980 --> 00:22:27,210 We'll leave Saturday at 14:20 and arrive at 16:15, 288 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,880 and we'll have polenta and sausage for dinner. 289 00:22:29,910 --> 00:22:34,010 - Sounds good, but I can't. - Sausage gives you indigestion. 290 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,840 It's not that, it's... 291 00:22:36,910 --> 00:22:40,430 Remember that pilot project I told you about? 292 00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:44,020 I'll need to work weekends for a while. 293 00:22:44,050 --> 00:22:47,140 - For how long? - One year... 294 00:22:47,170 --> 00:22:48,650 One year? 295 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,900 - They're not sure. - What accent is that? 296 00:22:50,930 --> 00:22:55,280 I have a Tuscan colleague, the accent is catching. 297 00:22:55,310 --> 00:22:57,610 That's mozzarella... 298 00:22:58,060 --> 00:23:02,160 It'll probably be a month, or two or three... 299 00:23:02,190 --> 00:23:07,540 - Two, three... how many? - I don't know, a couple! 300 00:23:07,570 --> 00:23:10,540 But now's the Alpine soldier party season! 301 00:23:10,570 --> 00:23:14,000 I don't want to miss the pork stew all-nighter! 302 00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:17,930 - Looking for someone? - Alberto Colombo. 303 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,390 Silvia, I do care about you, Chicco, and pork stew! 304 00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:25,140 Well, if you care, when was I born? 305 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,970 - December 6th. - Yes, what year? 306 00:23:28,090 --> 00:23:30,150 No, don't say it! 307 00:23:30,180 --> 00:23:33,070 And Chicco, when does he study English? 308 00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:36,940 When does he play football, chess or study music? 309 00:23:36,970 --> 00:23:39,910 - He plays chess? Since when? - You see! 310 00:23:39,940 --> 00:23:42,910 I knew... he does something every day, so... 311 00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:45,080 Yes, when? 312 00:23:45,110 --> 00:23:47,200 Any clues? Thursday! 313 00:23:47,230 --> 00:23:50,210 - What does he do on Thursday? - Football. 314 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,090 You lucked out. You only think of your career! 315 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,340 You backed the pilot project. 316 00:23:55,370 --> 00:23:58,220 With a room full of jerks shouting "Colombo"! 317 00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:02,380 Like you'd discovered America. I've had enough! 318 00:24:03,210 --> 00:24:05,970 - Who is it now? - Crikey, he's already here. 319 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,560 I told you Mattia was being transferred to Milan... 320 00:24:09,590 --> 00:24:12,060 - When? - Now, he's here. 321 00:24:12,590 --> 00:24:15,060 I've had a busy day... Silvia! 322 00:24:15,510 --> 00:24:18,650 I got the mozzarella for him. 323 00:24:22,390 --> 00:24:24,570 How nice to see you! 324 00:24:25,650 --> 00:24:28,500 There's a hotel nearby: "La Bella Milano". 325 00:24:28,530 --> 00:24:33,290 They have cable TV, mini-bars. Great to see you, what a surprise! 326 00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:43,340 All I need is fog... 327 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,720 Holy Madonna! 328 00:25:03,810 --> 00:25:08,870 Mattia, come in, that idiot was only joking! 329 00:25:12,950 --> 00:25:15,120 May I? 330 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,870 May I come in? 331 00:25:18,410 --> 00:25:22,250 - May I? - Come on in. It's nearly ready. 332 00:25:26,670 --> 00:25:28,430 Where shall I sit? 333 00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:31,020 He's here now, don't mope all night. 334 00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:32,680 I'd never do that. 335 00:25:32,710 --> 00:25:35,940 I'll go to the hotel, don't worry. They've got cable TV. 336 00:25:35,970 --> 00:25:39,650 Nonsense, it's a pleasure! Come on, I was laying the table. 337 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,190 This is your plate. 338 00:25:42,220 --> 00:25:44,280 You need a chair, right? 339 00:25:46,850 --> 00:25:48,660 Give me a kiss! 340 00:25:50,940 --> 00:25:54,160 - A little thought. - Roses? 341 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,540 They still exist? I haven't seen any for ages! 342 00:25:59,450 --> 00:26:03,630 She means you can't get flowers in Milan, we're not... 343 00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:07,590 - So, how are things? - Awful, I broke up with Maria. 344 00:26:07,620 --> 00:26:09,800 Great, excuse me a moment. 345 00:26:14,630 --> 00:26:17,190 I gave you flowers the other day, remember? 346 00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:19,480 Flowers? Oh right... 347 00:26:19,510 --> 00:26:22,360 that withered rose you bought me 348 00:26:22,390 --> 00:26:25,570 just because the vendor was almost 7 feet tall... 349 00:26:26,980 --> 00:26:30,240 You want to argue, can we do it tomorrow though? 350 00:26:30,270 --> 00:26:34,660 You're right, tell me what time, I'll put it in my diary. 351 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:44,840 - Mattia, do you like sushi? - Yes, I like Milanese cuisine. 352 00:26:45,410 --> 00:26:48,010 Silvia is the queen of sushi. 353 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,470 We have it every week. 354 00:26:50,670 --> 00:26:52,850 It's great, do you like it? 355 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,730 Delicious. 356 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:59,100 The fish needed more cooking, but the rice is perfect. 357 00:27:00,050 --> 00:27:04,480 It's nice without condiments, I like eating light. 358 00:27:04,930 --> 00:27:08,280 That southern sense of humour! You're in good form. 359 00:27:08,310 --> 00:27:11,780 - Everything okay with Maria? - No, I feel like I'm dying... 360 00:27:11,810 --> 00:27:15,040 Alberto is very interested in other people's feelings. 361 00:27:15,070 --> 00:27:18,500 - In fact I was telling him... - Let him finish talking! 362 00:27:18,530 --> 00:27:22,250 - Go on, get it off your chest. - Thanks. 363 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,920 - I have a problem with Maria. - Just one? 364 00:27:24,950 --> 00:27:26,750 What a lucky couple. 365 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,180 - Dashi? - Shall we dash? Where to? 366 00:27:30,210 --> 00:27:32,470 No, you sit down. 367 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,100 Shall we dash? 368 00:27:35,420 --> 00:27:37,510 No, let her go. 369 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,560 You were saying... everything okay with Maria? 370 00:27:40,590 --> 00:27:44,770 - I'm sad, how can it be okay? - Perfect, hold on... 371 00:28:10,870 --> 00:28:12,670 Hey? 372 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,030 I'm back. You packed it away! 373 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,290 It wasn't me. 374 00:28:41,150 --> 00:28:43,960 It's so fresh. Like it's been caught today. 375 00:28:45,740 --> 00:28:48,590 You'll see, you'll enjoy your weekends in Milan too. 376 00:28:53,670 --> 00:28:57,350 So sleepy, I suffer from narcolepsy, I'm going to bed. 377 00:28:57,380 --> 00:29:00,970 You'll sleep with Chicco in the room at the end of the hall. 378 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,270 Mattia, it's great having you here. 379 00:29:05,300 --> 00:29:08,940 I like talking, sharing stories. 380 00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:12,480 - In fact... - Good night! 381 00:29:13,190 --> 00:29:16,320 - At the end of the hall... - Chicco. 382 00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:29,670 SORRY, I HAVE A MEETING 383 00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:32,000 SORRY, I WENT TO PILATES 384 00:29:37,460 --> 00:29:42,850 "Sorry, but I'm not brave enough." 385 00:29:53,230 --> 00:29:55,990 Thieves stole my car! 386 00:29:56,100 --> 00:29:59,280 - Thieves! - Ls it daytime or night? 387 00:29:59,310 --> 00:30:04,290 It's the street cleaners, 180 Euros and they'll give it back. 388 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:08,290 180 Euros? May as well buy a new car! 389 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,170 My dear workers, 390 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:17,170 today is a great day for us and for the Italian postal service. 391 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,350 Our pilot project starts today. 392 00:30:21,380 --> 00:30:24,180 I'm expecting a lot from you. 393 00:30:24,340 --> 00:30:29,020 Are we ready to make Italy a better country? 394 00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:31,690 Do the honours, Colombo. 395 00:30:45,490 --> 00:30:48,210 Pre-paid debit card: 1 minute, 23 seconds. 396 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,460 Great. 397 00:30:49,490 --> 00:30:51,840 Account opening: 1 minute, 25 seconds. 398 00:30:51,870 --> 00:30:53,590 Come on, Dodi! 399 00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:56,210 Postal order: 1 minute, 27 seconds. 400 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:03,600 Special delivery: 1.50. Registered post: 1.27. 401 00:31:03,630 --> 00:31:05,470 Keep it going! 402 00:31:09,550 --> 00:31:11,400 Who's he? 403 00:31:11,430 --> 00:31:14,360 New employee on his first day, Mattia Volpe. 404 00:31:14,390 --> 00:31:18,110 58 minutes late and he's eating a potato fritter. 405 00:31:18,140 --> 00:31:20,160 No... it looks like a rice croquette. 406 00:31:20,190 --> 00:31:22,530 - That's a potato fritter. - Exactly. 407 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,410 - Colombo, go pounce on him. - Me? 408 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,750 Yes, I know it's not easy but pounce on him. 409 00:31:28,780 --> 00:31:30,330 Of course. 410 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,130 You're late on your first day! 411 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:35,800 - Impressive! - Alberto! 412 00:31:35,830 --> 00:31:40,130 Come on, lazybones! You show up at this hour? 413 00:31:40,330 --> 00:31:42,680 They took my car. 414 00:31:42,710 --> 00:31:47,010 It's always someone else's fault! Shame on you, loafer! 415 00:31:47,460 --> 00:31:51,900 Please go to your position, window 11, 416 00:31:51,930 --> 00:31:54,940 and start working, you're late enough! 417 00:31:54,970 --> 00:31:56,980 Layabout! 418 00:32:01,730 --> 00:32:04,410 Postal order: 1 minute, 12 seconds. 419 00:32:08,990 --> 00:32:12,040 - Hi, I'm Mattia Volpe. - Okay. 420 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:16,880 - Don't all rush to say hi. - Registered post: 1.27. 421 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,590 I told him! 422 00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:22,920 Good morning, who are you writing to? 423 00:32:23,210 --> 00:32:26,800 Irrelevant question. Headphones on, dictate times. 424 00:32:28,130 --> 00:32:32,230 It's 9:30 and there's a pretty lady who's... how old are you? 425 00:32:32,260 --> 00:32:33,890 75. 426 00:32:33,890 --> 00:32:37,190 You look younger, not a day over 50! 427 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:41,110 Is this a rehab centre or a health centre? 428 00:32:41,140 --> 00:32:43,740 - No, it's the post office. - Exactly! 429 00:32:43,770 --> 00:32:45,990 Be concise, quick, keep smiling. 430 00:32:46,020 --> 00:32:49,200 Stamp the paper. Be concise, quick, keep smiling. 431 00:32:49,650 --> 00:32:53,250 Mr Volpe, you now have a new customer, 432 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,750 try to be more polite but brief. 433 00:32:55,780 --> 00:32:57,710 - Just go. - More natural. 434 00:32:57,740 --> 00:32:59,130 - Please... - But firm. 435 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:00,720 - You're still here? - Kinder. 436 00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:02,380 - I love you. - Firmer. 437 00:33:02,410 --> 00:33:04,390 - You have to go. - That's no good. 438 00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:08,470 No good, you have to be kind yet firm, 439 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:12,390 natural but brief and at the same time clear, okay? 440 00:33:12,420 --> 00:33:16,810 Sorry, with all due respect... Can I go to the toilet? 441 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:23,190 - Is that really necessary? - A pee. 442 00:33:24,890 --> 00:33:28,030 Help me, the north is worse than you thought! 443 00:33:28,060 --> 00:33:30,580 Everyone rushes around all day here! 444 00:33:31,030 --> 00:33:32,870 Where are they going? 445 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:37,000 - Have you seen Alberto? - Of course, he's everywhere! 446 00:33:37,030 --> 00:33:39,670 But he's stressed, he has nervous ticks. 447 00:33:39,700 --> 00:33:41,590 Remember Alberto from Castellabate? 448 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,680 - He's a different man! - Liar. 449 00:33:45,710 --> 00:33:49,930 I want to save myself, I want to come back to Castellabate. 450 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,930 I'm going to resign. 451 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:56,980 You never grow up. Resign and you won't see us again! 452 00:33:57,050 --> 00:33:59,150 No, Maria... 453 00:34:11,730 --> 00:34:14,870 Remaining time: 9 seconds... 8... 454 00:34:15,110 --> 00:34:18,460 7, 6, 5, 4... 455 00:34:18,490 --> 00:34:21,380 Wash your hands to avoid contamination. Thanks. 456 00:34:21,740 --> 00:34:24,090 - A coffee, please. - What kind? 457 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,300 - What are the options? - Mochaccino... 458 00:34:26,330 --> 00:34:29,010 mocha-choc, americano... 459 00:34:29,130 --> 00:34:32,600 Hazelnut, half-caf, iced, with ginseng or grappa. 460 00:34:32,630 --> 00:34:34,850 I'd recommend the Kafta. 461 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,060 - It's a cappuccino-style espresso. - A glass of water. 462 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,440 - Sparkling, still, room temperature? - Normal. 463 00:34:41,470 --> 00:34:44,490 - Milan has a real coffee culture. - I can see that! 464 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,940 - Sir? - Come and meet our Dodi. 465 00:34:48,850 --> 00:34:51,740 - Mattia, it's a pleasure, R. Dodi. - Hi. 466 00:34:51,770 --> 00:34:55,080 - Her name's Dodi. - But you said R. Dodi. 467 00:34:55,110 --> 00:34:57,370 Dodi, but they call me "our Dodi". 468 00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,380 Hi, I'm Sandrino and he's our Commisoni. 469 00:35:00,410 --> 00:35:02,880 Why "our Commisoni" but you're just "Sandrino"? 470 00:35:02,910 --> 00:35:05,720 The speaker doesn't use "our" before their name. 471 00:35:05,750 --> 00:35:08,340 I'm Alberto, but you'd call me "our Alberto". 472 00:35:08,370 --> 00:35:11,260 If you're talking to her about me, you'd say: "Our Alberto..." 473 00:35:11,290 --> 00:35:13,850 - You'd say: "Alberto" to me. - I see. 474 00:35:14,130 --> 00:35:16,970 - Hi, our Commisoni. - Without the "our". 475 00:35:17,670 --> 00:35:20,730 Hi, Commisoni-without-the-our. 476 00:35:20,890 --> 00:35:24,150 Hello! Don't forget about our "cler" tonight. 477 00:35:24,180 --> 00:35:27,360 Is Claire is the brunette at window 5? 478 00:35:29,140 --> 00:35:33,610 He's crazy! That's Betty, I must tell her! 479 00:35:33,690 --> 00:35:36,410 In Milan, "cler" means shutter. 480 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,750 - There's a free table. - Don't go. 481 00:35:39,780 --> 00:35:43,080 - Come with me to the square. - To execute me? 482 00:35:44,950 --> 00:35:48,260 Sorry about this morning, the pilot project just started, 483 00:35:48,290 --> 00:35:50,880 the boss was with me and sorry about yesterday. 484 00:35:51,210 --> 00:35:55,310 And about tomorrow and the next day, I get your drift. 485 00:35:55,340 --> 00:35:57,680 Don't be silly, I was arguing with Silvia. 486 00:35:57,710 --> 00:36:01,060 But it's resolved now, in fact, sorry about last night too. 487 00:36:01,090 --> 00:36:03,900 - Why? - The shouting must've woken you. 488 00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,570 I didn't hear a thing 489 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,700 yet I was awake all night, I was crying over Maria. 490 00:36:09,730 --> 00:36:11,530 Do you like it? It's yours. 491 00:36:12,060 --> 00:36:14,950 - Where does the fuel go? - It's electric. 492 00:36:14,980 --> 00:36:18,200 - I see. - You'll do the deliveries. 493 00:36:18,230 --> 00:36:20,920 Here are the keys, the house ones are there too. 494 00:36:20,950 --> 00:36:23,290 I forgot to give them to you yesterday. 495 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,420 You had me so worried... 496 00:36:27,620 --> 00:36:29,840 - Give me a hug. - What are you doing? 497 00:36:29,870 --> 00:36:33,510 - We're not in the south. - Why? In the north, don't they... 498 00:36:33,580 --> 00:36:35,850 I'm joking, stupid. 499 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,300 Dirty southerners! 500 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,810 Today's my name day and Maria hasn't called me. 501 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:46,980 Nobody calls for that. 502 00:36:47,010 --> 00:36:50,110 What do you know, maybe for him it's important. 503 00:36:50,140 --> 00:36:53,620 - More than birthdays. - You have to get a grip. 504 00:36:53,650 --> 00:36:55,990 Step away from sorrow, put things in perspective. 505 00:36:56,020 --> 00:36:58,950 Why should he do that? He's sensitive, romantic. 506 00:36:58,980 --> 00:37:02,120 - What do you know? - What are you saying? 507 00:37:02,150 --> 00:37:05,250 Ever chained yourself up for love? No, so shut up. 508 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,130 So I can't talk unless I chain myself up? 509 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,460 Just shut up. 510 00:37:10,660 --> 00:37:14,220 - 'Night all. Later, uncle. - 'Night, bro. 511 00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:17,680 - Who's "uncle"? - You, that's how kids speak. 512 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,270 Mattia, you've not eaten, that's no good. 513 00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:24,150 My stomach's in knots, I can't eat. 514 00:37:24,180 --> 00:37:27,350 You don't like veal shanks? How about some sushi? 515 00:37:27,510 --> 00:37:30,150 - No! - What can I make you? 516 00:37:30,180 --> 00:37:34,280 I need something sweet to raise my blood pressure. 517 00:37:34,310 --> 00:37:37,070 Like a nice puff pastry. 518 00:37:37,650 --> 00:37:41,160 - Got any? Well, if you don't... - We do! 519 00:37:41,190 --> 00:37:44,750 - Alberto will go get one. - At 10:00 at night? 520 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,920 - Okay, I'll find one. - Alberto, listen. 521 00:37:48,950 --> 00:37:54,210 There are two kinds: short-crust and rippled. Get me the first one... 522 00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:56,130 Short crust. 523 00:38:04,220 --> 00:38:06,690 It's beautiful, you were right. 524 00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:10,520 - What's it called? - "Tears of Emotion". 525 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:14,730 Does it have a sad ending? Don't tell me. 526 00:38:15,100 --> 00:38:18,280 I found the short-crust pastry, outside Milan. 527 00:38:18,310 --> 00:38:21,700 I'm full, I ate the veal shanks. 528 00:38:21,730 --> 00:38:25,330 He likes veal shanks and romantic films! 529 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,460 My slippers! 530 00:38:27,490 --> 00:38:31,420 I left mom's slippers for you, she has big feet too. 531 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,100 I just can't bear this... 532 00:38:42,130 --> 00:38:44,310 Shall I stop it? 533 00:38:57,100 --> 00:39:00,870 - Is it street-cleaning day? - Is it daytime or night? 534 00:39:00,900 --> 00:39:03,370 - It's daytime. - There you go! 535 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,790 You're such friendly folk! I have to say it. 536 00:39:13,660 --> 00:39:16,050 FREE NORTH 537 00:39:18,290 --> 00:39:20,840 GET LOST 538 00:39:29,630 --> 00:39:34,110 Is there something to sign for? I'm talking to you! 539 00:39:35,890 --> 00:39:38,070 Are you dumb, poor lad! 540 00:39:38,180 --> 00:39:41,240 Look here, it stinks of communism. 541 00:39:41,270 --> 00:39:43,530 Must be a tax bill. 542 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,120 We work like slaves 543 00:39:46,150 --> 00:39:48,540 to pay the taxes for the south. 544 00:39:48,570 --> 00:39:51,880 If I were the president, I'd get a big box, 545 00:39:51,910 --> 00:39:55,080 fill it with southerners and donate it to Spain or Greece. 546 00:39:55,910 --> 00:39:58,880 But they're not stupid, they wouldn't want it. 547 00:39:59,210 --> 00:40:02,590 Look: 6,400 Euros, you think that's fair? 548 00:40:03,790 --> 00:40:05,810 Are you deaf too? 549 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:09,220 You've lost all your senses! 550 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,980 Are you a Napoli FC fan? 551 00:40:19,350 --> 00:40:21,950 - Giussano, get the southerner! - No, he respects him. 552 00:40:21,980 --> 00:40:25,030 He's a Neapolitan mastiff, they get along. 553 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,420 What do you want? Get lost! 554 00:40:34,450 --> 00:40:36,920 Traitor, you sold yourself out. 555 00:40:37,330 --> 00:40:41,050 There's no point speaking Milanese, you can tell you're Neapolitan. 556 00:40:42,620 --> 00:40:45,430 GO TO WORK, SOUTHERNER! 557 00:41:14,410 --> 00:41:16,960 At this rate... 558 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,220 - Are you okay? - Are you hurt? 559 00:41:28,250 --> 00:41:30,100 Poor thing. 560 00:41:30,420 --> 00:41:32,850 - Are you from Avellino? - Milan. 561 00:41:33,380 --> 00:41:35,600 - Salerno? - Bergamo. 562 00:41:36,180 --> 00:41:38,560 - Battipaglia? - Treviso. 563 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,820 - Are you from Naples? - No, Varese. 564 00:41:42,890 --> 00:41:45,740 Are you going to beat me up? 565 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,160 We've lost him! 566 00:41:50,190 --> 00:41:52,500 - Who? - Your friend's off the radar. 567 00:41:52,530 --> 00:41:54,790 Do something, he'll mess up our averages! 568 00:41:54,820 --> 00:41:57,830 - Never-mind. - Palmisani will kill us! 569 00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:01,500 Maria has left me, I feel really lonely. 570 00:42:01,790 --> 00:42:05,210 I'd like some comfort, a few kind words. 571 00:42:12,210 --> 00:42:16,400 - Drink and forget your sorrows. - I said kind words... 572 00:42:16,430 --> 00:42:18,770 but ones that I can understand. 573 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,820 What are you doing? 574 00:42:21,850 --> 00:42:24,150 Filling up. 575 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,410 I'm in trouble, you have to help me. 576 00:42:34,570 --> 00:42:36,830 I've given you my house and my bike, 577 00:42:36,860 --> 00:42:39,210 you must do more than 4 deliveries a day. 578 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:42,340 Don't stress me out or I'll need sick leave. 579 00:42:42,370 --> 00:42:45,300 Stress you out? What about me? 580 00:42:45,330 --> 00:42:49,100 A year of hellish work, weekends too. What should I do? 581 00:42:49,130 --> 00:42:51,300 Take sick leave. 582 00:42:52,210 --> 00:42:54,850 I'm working my ass off, quit joking. 583 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,350 This project should last one year. 584 00:42:57,380 --> 00:42:59,610 I have to finish it in two months. 585 00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,730 Or Silvia will leave me, give me a hand. 586 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:06,320 - I'm asking you as a friend. - You can bank on me. 587 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,110 Meaning? 588 00:43:08,140 --> 00:43:10,450 Rest assured. 589 00:43:13,230 --> 00:43:16,500 I can do 100 metres with one round! 590 00:43:16,530 --> 00:43:19,250 You bet, it's got 22 gears! 591 00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,630 The frame is carbon fibre. 592 00:43:21,660 --> 00:43:24,540 It cost 6,000 Euros plus tax I can't deduct. 593 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,970 - Is there a curfew? - No, it's Sunday. 594 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,890 Milanese go to the mountains or lakes on weekends. 595 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:34,140 I don't like lakes, they're like a parody of the sea. 596 00:43:34,170 --> 00:43:38,390 Good. Come on, the match is on. Go Milan! 597 00:43:38,420 --> 00:43:40,730 We're A.C. Milan... 598 00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,360 Napoli is in the lead... 599 00:43:43,390 --> 00:43:46,980 Pass the ball, you're not alone. 600 00:43:47,430 --> 00:43:50,490 Can't you see that player on the side is free? 601 00:43:51,150 --> 00:43:54,240 - But... - Chicco, you have to be quiet. 602 00:43:54,270 --> 00:43:56,910 When Napoli is playing you have to be quiet, 603 00:43:56,940 --> 00:43:59,290 you're distracting the players. 604 00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,920 Lecce and Milan are still 0-0. 605 00:44:02,950 --> 00:44:05,130 He's watching my HD TV 606 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:08,880 and I'm listening to the match on the radio like in the 60s. 607 00:44:08,910 --> 00:44:14,010 Come on, you'll feel younger and he'll cheer up. 608 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,680 He won't if Naples loses. 609 00:44:16,710 --> 00:44:19,190 What do you know about football... 610 00:44:19,220 --> 00:44:22,270 The whistle goes, it's a penalty kick... 611 00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:24,480 Ours or theirs? 612 00:44:31,730 --> 00:44:34,410 - Now it's over to Naples. - Fucking hell! 613 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,780 Goal! Chicco, goal! 614 00:44:39,240 --> 00:44:42,920 Now you can talk, say "goal". 615 00:44:42,950 --> 00:44:45,290 Goal! 616 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:48,420 Don't disturb him. Your coffee, Mattia. 617 00:44:48,620 --> 00:44:51,090 If your mum finds out, she'll kill us. 618 00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,800 - She'll kill you. - It's the goal replay. 619 00:44:53,830 --> 00:44:56,470 Lecce is in the lead against Milan. 620 00:44:56,500 --> 00:45:00,980 - We can't lose against Lecce. - Lucky we didn't watch Milan. 621 00:45:01,010 --> 00:45:03,310 Lecce beats Milan at home. 622 00:45:07,390 --> 00:45:09,860 - What are you doing? - Be quiet. 623 00:45:09,890 --> 00:45:12,820 We agreed that he'd sleep on the sofa. 624 00:45:13,020 --> 00:45:16,370 At night I cry over Maria and he needs to rest 625 00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,820 and get up for school. 626 00:45:25,740 --> 00:45:28,000 Wake up! 627 00:45:28,030 --> 00:45:30,010 - Is it an earthquake? - Worse. 628 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,800 He's put Chicco on the sofa to sleep. 629 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:38,220 - He said they agreed. - If they agreed... 630 00:45:38,250 --> 00:45:41,520 It's cold on the sofa, it's full of dust mites. 631 00:45:41,550 --> 00:45:45,150 No, mum came by, she killed all of them. 632 00:45:45,180 --> 00:45:47,900 Just one night on the sofa! 633 00:45:47,930 --> 00:45:50,730 My son will not sleep on the sofa. 634 00:45:51,930 --> 00:45:55,740 Okay, go and get Chicco and you sleep on the sofa. 635 00:46:17,460 --> 00:46:19,640 It's late, it's 11:00. 636 00:46:19,670 --> 00:46:22,640 You'd rather play hard than work hard. 637 00:46:22,670 --> 00:46:25,770 Sorry, I don't speak Chinese. 638 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:27,640 Where are you from? 639 00:46:30,470 --> 00:46:32,690 - Near Naples. - Near Nepal? 640 00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:34,900 - Go to hell. - Dunno... 641 00:46:34,930 --> 00:46:37,320 - Say again? - Saigon? No, Naples. 642 00:46:37,350 --> 00:46:39,280 Goodbye. 643 00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:45,910 Why don't we organise a dinner? 644 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,590 - The 23rd? - No, the 25th or 26th. 645 00:46:49,620 --> 00:46:51,710 - No, I can do the 4th. - 12th? 646 00:46:51,740 --> 00:46:54,170 The 19th. The 22nd? 647 00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,550 All set for the 22nd. 648 00:46:57,620 --> 00:47:01,180 - I meant tonight. - Tonight? 649 00:47:02,130 --> 00:47:04,060 Are you crazy? 650 00:47:04,090 --> 00:47:08,730 Okay, let's do the 22nd around 21:00 - 21:30? 651 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,560 - Sorry, 21:00 or 21:30? - There's a difference. 652 00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,360 Forget it, we'll just meet for Christmas... 653 00:47:16,390 --> 00:47:19,700 - It's so far in advance I'll forget. - Put it in your diary. 654 00:47:19,730 --> 00:47:21,990 - I don't have one. - You don't? 655 00:47:22,020 --> 00:47:24,950 - You're crazy! - Is it essential? 656 00:47:25,780 --> 00:47:28,080 You've booked two meetings at the same time. 657 00:47:28,110 --> 00:47:32,460 - To save time. - Don't be late, Silvia'll be waiting. 658 00:47:34,290 --> 00:47:36,800 - Our Silvia. - Well done. 659 00:47:39,370 --> 00:47:41,340 Unbelievable. 660 00:47:42,170 --> 00:47:44,800 Where the hell is he? 661 00:47:46,380 --> 00:47:49,520 I can't believe he's not answering. 662 00:47:49,550 --> 00:47:52,980 - He must be in a meeting. - Always a meeting! 663 00:47:53,180 --> 00:47:56,320 In Milan one person equals a meeting. 664 00:47:56,430 --> 00:47:59,940 - He works because he loves you. - Right! 665 00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,490 Come on, Chicco! 666 00:48:07,820 --> 00:48:10,000 There's something wrong. 667 00:48:10,030 --> 00:48:13,130 Our relationship used to be so passionate. 668 00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:17,250 Now it's as exciting as cleaning out a closet. 669 00:48:18,330 --> 00:48:20,680 It's not his fault, it's the project's. 670 00:48:20,710 --> 00:48:23,430 It's rough to work every Saturday for a year. 671 00:48:23,460 --> 00:48:25,760 Oh please, it's for two months. 672 00:48:25,790 --> 00:48:29,260 - Nonsense, it's for a year. - No, it's two... 673 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,900 A year. 674 00:48:31,930 --> 00:48:34,770 He's making all these sacrifices for you. 675 00:48:42,980 --> 00:48:46,530 You're a liar and a bastard, I can't take it anymore! 676 00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,120 Liar! 677 00:48:51,450 --> 00:48:55,370 You can hear the sea, you can really hear the sound... 678 00:48:57,370 --> 00:48:59,720 You've got a good football shot. 679 00:48:59,750 --> 00:49:02,260 A bit wonky. 680 00:49:02,830 --> 00:49:05,630 Not wonky, it's a special effect. 681 00:49:06,710 --> 00:49:10,430 You're a bastard. Enough! I've had enough! 682 00:49:10,460 --> 00:49:13,060 You'll work Saturdays for a year. 683 00:49:13,090 --> 00:49:15,690 - Not two months! - I was going to tell you. 684 00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:18,520 - Coward. - How could I? He's always around. 685 00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:23,240 Leave Mattia out of it, he knows what love means 686 00:49:23,270 --> 00:49:28,120 unlike selfish you. And you promised we'd do Tango lessons. 687 00:49:28,150 --> 00:49:31,080 - But I've got the pilot project. - I'll give you a project... 688 00:49:31,110 --> 00:49:36,090 How about this: I want 600 Euros a month in alimony, 689 00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,590 450 Euros for the mountain house, 690 00:49:38,620 --> 00:49:41,720 you can see Chicco on alternate weekends 691 00:49:41,750 --> 00:49:45,590 and take him to football on Thursday and music on Friday. 692 00:49:46,170 --> 00:49:48,010 You'll pay the house tax, 693 00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:51,850 I'm keeping the car and the 6-speed hair-dryer is mine! 694 00:49:52,550 --> 00:49:55,730 - Mine! - Okay, but where are you going? 695 00:49:56,050 --> 00:49:58,730 - To my mother's. - Bye, Chicco. 696 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,900 Bye, dad. See you soon. 697 00:50:00,930 --> 00:50:03,610 - Sunday. - Not this weekend, no. 698 00:50:07,650 --> 00:50:10,120 You're a sad and grey man. 699 00:50:10,150 --> 00:50:12,990 And it's not the smog that makes you grey. 700 00:50:29,210 --> 00:50:31,640 Look what I've done. 701 00:50:32,090 --> 00:50:34,510 I didn't mean to, believe me. 702 00:50:39,470 --> 00:50:43,520 Chin up, the first day is the worst. 703 00:51:04,750 --> 00:51:07,840 Don't be sad, the second day is the worst. 704 00:51:07,870 --> 00:51:10,630 - What are you doing? - Sit-ups. 705 00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,300 - Are you okay? - Never been better. 706 00:51:13,630 --> 00:51:15,510 Are you sure? 707 00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:21,610 I don't feel sorry for myself, I'm a tough Alpine soldier. 708 00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,060 - I'm positive. - About what? 709 00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,900 This, for example. To hell with grandma's slippers. 710 00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:35,200 - I don't like goldfish. - Same here. 711 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,620 You know, I'll play the field again. 712 00:51:37,650 --> 00:51:40,250 Right, go back to bed, rest first. 713 00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,630 I'm talking about pulling women. 714 00:51:42,660 --> 00:51:45,010 - Looking for pussy. - You're hurting me. 715 00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:46,590 Living. 716 00:51:50,290 --> 00:51:52,970 We can talk about it at the office. 717 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,970 I'm not going in, I'm busy. Say hi to everyone. 718 00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,390 Are you ready for Milan by night? 719 00:52:54,730 --> 00:52:57,780 - We're married. - Not anymore. 720 00:52:58,730 --> 00:53:01,410 Don't even joke about it. 721 00:53:01,990 --> 00:53:04,120 You like it? 722 00:53:07,740 --> 00:53:11,420 - Is it a wedding? - No, it's the famous "aperitif". 723 00:53:11,710 --> 00:53:14,470 You pay for a glass of wine and eat all you can. 724 00:53:14,500 --> 00:53:17,390 - This used to be my dinner. - I'll start then. 725 00:53:17,500 --> 00:53:19,600 - Are there any "peps"? - What are they? 726 00:53:19,630 --> 00:53:21,600 Peppers. 727 00:53:21,630 --> 00:53:24,020 Where's your buffet ticket? 728 00:53:24,090 --> 00:53:27,480 - Since when? - Since people starting overdoing it. 729 00:53:27,510 --> 00:53:30,860 - The 80s are over, dude. - How much is it? 730 00:53:30,890 --> 00:53:33,570 20 Euros per head. 731 00:53:33,890 --> 00:53:37,160 - We were... - I've lost my appetite. 732 00:53:47,660 --> 00:53:50,130 Even better than I remembered it. 733 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,880 - She said hello. - That's just the start. 734 00:53:52,910 --> 00:53:55,760 Look at those two, they're ours. You choose. 735 00:53:55,790 --> 00:53:58,010 Green or grey one? 736 00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,730 - There's one small detail. - Such a defeatist southerner. 737 00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:05,060 Forget details, it's full of women. Watch! 738 00:54:05,550 --> 00:54:07,730 Excuse me... 739 00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:12,740 - That was the small detail. - I'll call Patty and Lolly. 740 00:54:12,770 --> 00:54:15,660 Two old schoolmates, you'll see. 741 00:54:15,690 --> 00:54:18,070 We'll stay up till dawn. 742 00:54:25,900 --> 00:54:28,170 Patty, it's Alberto. 743 00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,630 Don't you remember? Colombo, from class 5D! 744 00:54:32,580 --> 00:54:35,710 I was thinking of a reunion tonight, are you free? 745 00:54:35,710 --> 00:54:38,180 The kids have a fever? 746 00:54:38,210 --> 00:54:40,970 How many do you have? They're not yours. 747 00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:42,890 You're a grandma. 748 00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:47,140 Remember wild Lolly? Do you still see her? How is she? 749 00:54:47,340 --> 00:54:49,400 She's got arthritis. 750 00:54:49,430 --> 00:54:53,020 Have a good evening, say hi to your grand-kids and Lolly. 751 00:54:54,470 --> 00:54:57,070 - You see those two? - There are three of them. 752 00:54:57,100 --> 00:54:59,910 - Go and dance with them. - Can you dance? 753 00:54:59,940 --> 00:55:02,160 Are you joking? 754 00:55:04,190 --> 00:55:07,120 Those moves are 50 years old! 755 00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,380 What's up, ladies? 756 00:55:14,950 --> 00:55:16,720 What's up? 757 00:55:16,750 --> 00:55:19,130 Your wife left you, right? 758 00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:29,640 Mattia, it's wonderful! 759 00:55:29,970 --> 00:55:32,560 Mattia, jump in! 760 00:55:36,350 --> 00:55:38,490 Who is that jerk? 761 00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:43,330 Hell, these southerners come here to dance their folk dance. 762 00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:48,120 As soon as they see a pool with a bit of water 763 00:55:48,150 --> 00:55:50,960 they jump in to wash up... 764 00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:48,520 - We've got it wrong. - It's a woman's diatribe. 765 00:56:48,550 --> 00:56:51,190 Colours are washed at 30° C, whites at 90° C. 766 00:56:51,220 --> 00:56:53,810 We separated the colours... 767 00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,150 - And washed them together. - At 90° C. 768 00:56:56,180 --> 00:56:58,320 - Too much rinse agent. - The rinse agent! 769 00:56:58,350 --> 00:57:00,650 - I told you. - I'll call Maria. 770 00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,900 - She's very good. - And Silvia... 771 00:57:19,490 --> 00:57:23,920 I know I shouldn't call you but I have an important question. 772 00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:26,930 Are we together or not? 773 00:57:28,090 --> 00:57:31,510 I don't want to end up like Alberto. 774 00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,310 He's a really sad case. 775 00:57:37,140 --> 00:57:39,270 Well? 776 00:57:41,890 --> 00:57:44,360 - It's engaged! - Where are you? 777 00:57:44,390 --> 00:57:48,700 In a meeting, but it doesn't matter. Answer this question: 778 00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,080 are we together or not? 779 00:57:54,530 --> 00:57:57,460 I'm in a meeting! 780 00:57:57,990 --> 00:58:01,670 - Sorry, I'm in a bad way. - I can see that. 781 00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:14,100 But he seemed happy about his wife leaving. 782 00:58:14,130 --> 00:58:18,400 - That's called repression. - You don't need to tell me. 783 00:58:18,430 --> 00:58:22,610 Repression is a typical Milanese thing. 784 00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:25,240 Looking at you, I'd say Neapolitan too. 785 00:58:25,270 --> 00:58:27,860 You give the bad news, I'll give the gift. 786 00:58:28,060 --> 00:58:30,870 Naples, we must reschedule the dinner. 787 00:58:31,190 --> 00:58:33,250 Right, how silly of me! 788 00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:37,960 - Reschedule dinner, change date. - Here's a gift, so you'll forgive us. 789 00:58:41,450 --> 00:58:45,300 - "Teach yourself Milanese". - Book and DVD. "Cler" is in there. 790 00:58:45,330 --> 00:58:48,180 Thanks, I was looking for one. 791 00:58:48,210 --> 00:58:50,390 I'm not going! 792 00:58:53,590 --> 00:58:56,060 Alberto has gone mad. 793 00:58:56,090 --> 00:58:59,060 He doesn't want to meet the guys from Padua! 794 00:58:59,090 --> 00:59:02,690 If Palmisani finds out, he'll melt him in stamp acid. 795 00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:05,070 You go, they never met Colombo. 796 00:59:05,100 --> 00:59:09,240 - I can't cope with them too... - Why not? 797 00:59:09,310 --> 00:59:12,410 I should risk my ass for him? 798 00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:13,950 Where are you going? 799 00:59:13,980 --> 00:59:16,330 Why don't you go? 800 00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,580 - Yes. - Are you joking? 801 00:59:18,610 --> 00:59:22,050 - Not at all. - I don't know how to work. 802 00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:25,550 Everyone knows I can't cope with responsibility, 803 00:59:25,580 --> 00:59:29,180 my wife said so too. 804 00:59:29,210 --> 00:59:32,180 I don't do it on purpose, it's a personality thing. 805 00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:41,560 Teach yourself Milanese: lesson one. 806 00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,150 My name is Mario. 807 00:59:48,270 --> 00:59:50,780 The book is on the table. 808 01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,510 - Is he from Naples? - Dunno! 809 01:00:56,040 --> 01:01:01,560 Queuing at the post office is a personal defeat for me. 810 01:01:01,590 --> 01:01:04,020 Poor thing, he's not well. 811 01:01:06,430 --> 01:01:09,730 You're wondering why you should work faster. 812 01:01:11,060 --> 01:01:14,650 For love! Efficiency at work 813 01:01:15,110 --> 01:01:16,950 means fewer divorces. 814 01:01:16,980 --> 01:01:18,660 Moron! 815 01:01:20,690 --> 01:01:22,910 Calm down. 816 01:01:23,490 --> 01:01:25,040 Calm down. 817 01:01:25,070 --> 01:01:28,380 Okay, let's make an agreement. 818 01:01:28,580 --> 01:01:33,380 I'll say this nonsense, you listen and go home to your own divorce. 819 01:01:33,580 --> 01:01:35,800 Well said. 820 01:01:36,380 --> 01:01:38,720 Do you get my drift? 821 01:01:38,750 --> 01:01:41,010 He's got it. 822 01:01:42,630 --> 01:01:44,890 He was really very good. 823 01:01:50,890 --> 01:01:53,740 Excuse me, are you Alberto Colombo? 824 01:01:53,770 --> 01:01:56,780 - The manager of Milano 3? - Yes. 825 01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:01,910 I'm not blind, you were bald. 826 01:02:02,490 --> 01:02:04,830 I had a transplant. 827 01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,330 Yes. 828 01:02:08,740 --> 01:02:12,090 So you are Alberto Colombo. 829 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,760 - Remember me? - Of course! 830 01:02:14,790 --> 01:02:18,470 It's so good to see you, I'm so happy. 831 01:02:18,500 --> 01:02:21,470 Not as happy as me. 832 01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:25,150 They sent me to Grignano Polesine because of you! 833 01:02:25,180 --> 01:02:27,980 You don't even know where it is! 834 01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:32,320 There's no respect for disabled folk. 835 01:02:44,940 --> 01:02:47,330 Want some pasta with tuna? 836 01:02:49,910 --> 01:02:52,500 I've already eaten. 837 01:02:52,660 --> 01:02:55,680 Put your slippers on or you'll ruin the floor. 838 01:02:55,710 --> 01:02:58,550 - Silvia'll be mad if she comes back. - She won't come back. 839 01:02:58,580 --> 01:03:01,510 And if she does, I'll get mad. 840 01:03:03,090 --> 01:03:04,890 Silvia! 841 01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:07,390 Tidy up. 842 01:03:08,430 --> 01:03:10,940 - May I? - Come in, Scapece. 843 01:03:10,970 --> 01:03:14,940 - Dear Mr Manager. - Come in, Scapece. 844 01:03:14,970 --> 01:03:16,360 Hi. 845 01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:20,150 Isn't Mr Manager handsome? I have to kiss him. 846 01:03:21,730 --> 01:03:23,410 You're too handsome. 847 01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,710 Why are you in Milan with my keys? 848 01:03:25,740 --> 01:03:29,040 He has to get his gallstones checked out 849 01:03:29,070 --> 01:03:31,670 so I gave him the keys. 850 01:03:35,450 --> 01:03:38,550 He says his gallstones are the size of meatballs. 851 01:03:41,580 --> 01:03:45,300 - I don't understand. - He said they actually are meatballs. 852 01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:50,390 Have you eaten? Want some food? 853 01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:53,980 - We're in hospital? - No, we're hospitable. 854 01:03:54,010 --> 01:03:56,070 Hospitable. 855 01:03:56,890 --> 01:03:58,490 Is it good? 856 01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:02,820 Yes, it's good, but I've already eaten. 857 01:04:02,860 --> 01:04:05,500 Mum made me an omelette, I ate at the station. 858 01:04:05,530 --> 01:04:08,250 How old is your mother? 859 01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,880 - Who else has the keys? - Did you make copies? 860 01:04:10,910 --> 01:04:12,750 - No. - No one. 861 01:04:12,780 --> 01:04:15,670 It's Silvia then. Out, to the hotel, come on! 862 01:04:16,910 --> 01:04:19,630 - Erminia. - Hi, baldy. 863 01:04:19,660 --> 01:04:23,890 Where's Silvia's pepper spray? There's a madman about. 864 01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:27,220 - I don't know. - You never know anything. 865 01:04:31,050 --> 01:04:33,770 - What's all this? - I was about to... 866 01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:36,780 Nonsense! 867 01:04:36,810 --> 01:04:41,410 To clean up here you need to throw everything out. 868 01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:44,910 Starting from you, I told Silvia... 869 01:04:44,940 --> 01:04:47,660 She married a filthy southerner. 870 01:04:47,690 --> 01:04:51,330 - But I was born in Rozzano. - And where is Rozzano? 871 01:04:51,450 --> 01:04:55,500 In the south of Milan, so? The Milanese are in Milan, 872 01:04:55,530 --> 01:04:57,800 the Turinese are in Turin 873 01:04:57,830 --> 01:05:00,380 and southerners are... a pain in the ass! 874 01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,310 Did you steal my slippers? 875 01:05:06,340 --> 01:05:10,390 - No. - You're a wretch, unbelievable. 876 01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:14,270 Here it is, you see? Who are you? 877 01:05:15,050 --> 01:05:17,400 - A friend. - Ls that so? 878 01:05:21,850 --> 01:05:24,150 - I don't understand. - Where are you from? 879 01:05:27,230 --> 01:05:29,910 I'm from North Chiasso. 880 01:05:31,820 --> 01:05:35,370 - What about you? - Hello, I'm Scapece from Aosta. 881 01:05:35,820 --> 01:05:39,130 They were just leaving, they came to visit. 882 01:05:42,620 --> 01:05:46,550 - How's Silvia? - Never been better! 883 01:05:46,580 --> 01:05:51,600 You should see her in action with Manolo. 884 01:05:51,630 --> 01:05:55,310 - Who's Manolo? - Her Tango teacher. 885 01:05:55,340 --> 01:06:00,310 He really is a handsome man, not like you. 886 01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:04,650 - Where's Mr Trout? - Disappeared. 887 01:06:04,730 --> 01:06:06,740 Along with the bowl. 888 01:06:06,770 --> 01:06:09,200 What's this? 889 01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:14,450 Meatball shaped gallstones, like mine. 890 01:06:15,780 --> 01:06:19,460 - Whose are they? - In all modesty, they're mine. 891 01:06:22,540 --> 01:06:26,420 Wonderful, you're full of stones. 892 01:06:55,320 --> 01:06:57,710 I'm going for a walk. 893 01:07:01,660 --> 01:07:04,000 Wait, I'll come too. 894 01:07:04,660 --> 01:07:08,090 - Where are we going? - You're not going anywhere. 895 01:07:08,580 --> 01:07:10,810 You ruined two families, yours and mine. 896 01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:13,470 Be gone by the time I get back, all of you. 897 01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:17,220 Chin up, the third week is the worst. 898 01:07:37,700 --> 01:07:40,290 Silvia, you're back! 899 01:07:48,370 --> 01:07:51,800 Help, I'm a virgin! 900 01:08:00,590 --> 01:08:04,190 Speak clearly, we're abroad. 901 01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:15,120 Fuck you! 902 01:08:15,150 --> 01:08:17,120 I understood that. 903 01:08:17,150 --> 01:08:21,380 He says he doesn't care about what we do at night, 904 01:08:21,410 --> 01:08:24,210 it's our business. 905 01:08:29,790 --> 01:08:32,100 - Get down! - What are we doing? 906 01:08:32,130 --> 01:08:34,510 You made me lose Silvia, now get her back. 907 01:08:34,540 --> 01:08:37,600 - By doing what? - See that ugly old lady? 908 01:08:37,630 --> 01:08:40,650 Put your balaclava on and steal her handbag. 909 01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:42,770 - You're crazy. - Why? 910 01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:45,350 That's your mother-in-law. 911 01:08:45,430 --> 01:08:48,280 - Mugging your mother-in-law? - I need the house keys. 912 01:08:48,310 --> 01:08:51,740 - I'm sexier than Manolo... - I don't know how to mug. 913 01:08:51,770 --> 01:08:53,530 You're from Naples! 914 01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:56,910 If I were in Baghdad would I bomb the market? 915 01:08:56,940 --> 01:08:59,200 I have to do everything. 916 01:08:59,940 --> 01:09:02,170 - What are you doing? - I'll do it. 917 01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,620 So you do know how to do it! 918 01:09:10,710 --> 01:09:13,090 Tramp! Thief! 919 01:09:14,080 --> 01:09:16,390 Holy cow, take that! 920 01:09:25,220 --> 01:09:28,230 I'll kill you like a cockroach. 921 01:09:33,560 --> 01:09:35,910 There he is! 922 01:09:39,860 --> 01:09:42,620 I'm from Naples, but I didn't... 923 01:09:45,820 --> 01:09:48,420 Mattia, wait for me. 924 01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:53,050 Enough, we have to stop that madman. 925 01:09:53,080 --> 01:09:56,600 - He should be castrated. - Let's impale him. 926 01:09:56,630 --> 01:09:59,390 Calm down, ladies. Let's find him first. 927 01:10:03,760 --> 01:10:05,890 Please excuse me. 928 01:10:07,890 --> 01:10:12,150 - Is that your husband? - No, I don't think so. 929 01:10:15,980 --> 01:10:18,450 They'll batter us, run! 930 01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:26,630 Miss? 931 01:10:26,660 --> 01:10:29,790 One moment, sir, I'm busy. 932 01:10:31,290 --> 01:10:33,340 Where's Alberto? 933 01:10:33,370 --> 01:10:35,380 - He's mugging someone. - Funny... 934 01:10:35,410 --> 01:10:39,340 This is mayhem, no one knows what to do. 935 01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:42,930 But I won't save his ass this time. 936 01:10:48,180 --> 01:10:52,610 Dodi, how can you paint your nails now? Look! 937 01:10:53,430 --> 01:10:57,240 You Milanese folk only know how to work, so why stop today? 938 01:10:57,270 --> 01:11:00,490 Alberto has a problem, his wife left him. 939 01:11:01,820 --> 01:11:04,540 If he carries on like this, he'll get fired. 940 01:11:04,570 --> 01:11:08,750 Let's all try to help him. That's what we'd do in the south. 941 01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:15,710 We'll do that in the north too. Come on everyone, get to work. 942 01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:28,060 Here they are. What a wonderful story! 943 01:11:28,090 --> 01:11:31,570 The south helps the north, the north helps the south. 944 01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:35,860 What shall we do now? Sing the Italian anthem? 945 01:11:37,230 --> 01:11:41,450 I'm so moved that I'm going to fire you both. 946 01:11:41,480 --> 01:11:44,950 A postman who pretends he's a manager 947 01:11:44,980 --> 01:11:49,370 and has a fight with an employee... Why? 948 01:11:53,990 --> 01:11:57,550 He didn't know about it. It was my idea. 949 01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:01,680 It was definitely a bad idea. 950 01:12:02,630 --> 01:12:04,600 So I'll just fire you. 951 01:12:04,630 --> 01:12:08,480 He said so himself, Mr Palmisani, he made a mistake. 952 01:12:08,510 --> 01:12:11,690 He's an impulsive guy, and generous too. 953 01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:15,560 - He's a fan of the pilot project. - Him? 954 01:12:16,640 --> 01:12:20,190 - I like it a lot. - He came from the south especially. 955 01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:23,870 - He and Marchionne are... - Marchionne's my pal. 956 01:12:23,900 --> 01:12:26,620 Caspar, Marchionne and Balthasar 957 01:12:26,650 --> 01:12:30,830 at the living nativity scene in Castellabate... 958 01:12:34,370 --> 01:12:39,800 Let's carry on as we are. The project is on schedule. 959 01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:43,390 You decide who'll do what, I don't care. 960 01:12:43,420 --> 01:12:48,810 What I care about is that we're about to have the mother of all meetings 961 01:12:49,050 --> 01:12:53,560 with representatives from the south, who are raging bulls. 962 01:12:54,300 --> 01:12:56,480 If you mess up there... 963 01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:59,320 Well, if you mess up there... 964 01:13:06,150 --> 01:13:08,790 - Sorry, Alberto. - I'm sorry. 965 01:13:08,820 --> 01:13:10,740 I was confused. 966 01:13:11,320 --> 01:13:15,580 No, we have to stop. I can't go any further. 967 01:13:16,200 --> 01:13:21,000 I've never asked you... How do you like Milan? 968 01:13:23,420 --> 01:13:27,390 Castellabate is a village, this is a big city. 969 01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:32,770 I need time to get used to it, not long... 6, 7 years. 970 01:13:33,220 --> 01:13:35,310 Well, do you like it or not? 971 01:13:35,340 --> 01:13:38,150 Not at the moment, no offence meant. 972 01:13:38,180 --> 01:13:42,230 I won't take offence. Even the Milanese criticise Milan. 973 01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:46,490 But lots of people come and only a few leave. Know why? 974 01:13:46,730 --> 01:13:52,290 Because Milan offers opportunities. You can grow here, if you want to. 975 01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:56,040 You feel alive, right? You know how that song goes? 976 01:13:56,070 --> 01:14:00,540 Far from Naples you'll die but they all come here to Milan. 977 01:14:05,460 --> 01:14:07,430 Come on! 978 01:14:08,590 --> 01:14:11,100 I'm sorry about what happened with Silvia. 979 01:14:11,130 --> 01:14:14,600 - Believe me, I didn't mean it. - It's my fault. 980 01:14:14,630 --> 01:14:16,810 I should've turned that project down. 981 01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:20,480 Sometimes I have this sense of duty, it seemed so important. 982 01:14:20,510 --> 01:14:23,240 Maybe because my dad was an Alpine soldier. 983 01:14:23,270 --> 01:14:27,950 My dad is unemployed. Permanently unemployed. 984 01:14:34,030 --> 01:14:36,540 How are things with Maria? 985 01:14:36,780 --> 01:14:39,630 - She finally spoke to me. - What did she say? 986 01:14:39,660 --> 01:14:41,590 No. 987 01:14:42,500 --> 01:14:44,800 But it wasn't the usual "no". 988 01:14:45,290 --> 01:14:47,260 - It was "no", but it was like... - Yes? 989 01:14:47,290 --> 01:14:51,470 No, or I would've said "yes". It was "no" like... 990 01:14:52,380 --> 01:14:55,680 - What did she say? - I don't know. 991 01:14:56,510 --> 01:14:58,610 All I know is that I have to stop crying. 992 01:14:58,640 --> 01:15:01,150 Our jobs are all we have left. 993 01:15:01,180 --> 01:15:04,110 Let's make sure you don't lose yours. 994 01:15:04,890 --> 01:15:06,820 Okay, good night. 995 01:15:08,810 --> 01:15:10,740 - Alberto. - What is it? 996 01:15:11,020 --> 01:15:14,000 - Can I sleep on the other side? - Why? 997 01:15:14,030 --> 01:15:16,420 Because the window's there, I need air. 998 01:15:16,450 --> 01:15:18,920 I've slept on this side for 20 years. 999 01:15:18,950 --> 01:15:21,330 Try sleeping over here. 1000 01:15:21,580 --> 01:15:24,130 You might like it better... 1001 01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:26,800 There's Chicco's bed, you loved that. 1002 01:15:26,830 --> 01:15:29,720 But my feet stick out. 1003 01:15:33,670 --> 01:15:35,640 What is it? 1004 01:15:36,090 --> 01:15:39,390 I forgot my pillow, can I have that one? 1005 01:15:39,470 --> 01:15:42,900 It's softer, you see. This one's too firm. 1006 01:15:43,100 --> 01:15:45,270 'Night. 1007 01:15:46,230 --> 01:15:48,990 Come on, we've got work tomorrow. 1008 01:15:50,690 --> 01:15:52,660 What? 1009 01:15:52,940 --> 01:15:55,740 I wanted to say goodnight. 1010 01:16:04,490 --> 01:16:07,590 Today's meeting is important, will this do? 1011 01:16:07,620 --> 01:16:09,800 Yes, it'll look great. 1012 01:16:09,830 --> 01:16:12,680 It makes you look authoritative, it's perfect. 1013 01:16:12,710 --> 01:16:14,850 No, Alberto, you're the manager. 1014 01:16:14,880 --> 01:16:16,730 Palmisani said you'd do the meetings. 1015 01:16:16,760 --> 01:16:19,730 You convinced him with the story of the nativity scene. 1016 01:16:19,760 --> 01:16:21,560 Are you sure? 1017 01:16:21,590 --> 01:16:25,650 Let's not argue over nonsense. I'm love-sick. 1018 01:16:27,730 --> 01:16:29,440 Thanks. 1019 01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:31,620 There's a building meeting today. 1020 01:16:31,650 --> 01:16:33,950 The neighbours repainted their façade. 1021 01:16:34,020 --> 01:16:36,660 We should too. 1022 01:16:36,900 --> 01:16:39,580 It meant so much to Silvia. Can you go for me? 1023 01:16:39,650 --> 01:16:44,170 - I can't just show up... - You can go by proxy. Thanks. 1024 01:16:45,490 --> 01:16:47,760 Oh, get some "Mu" yoghurt, 1025 01:16:47,790 --> 01:16:50,960 it's the only one Chicco eats. And on Thursday there's... 1026 01:16:51,290 --> 01:16:54,140 Give me your diary, I can't remember everything. 1027 01:16:54,170 --> 01:16:56,720 It's in my jacket pocket. 1028 01:16:57,130 --> 01:17:00,350 But you don't have to do everything, I'll take your diary... 1029 01:17:06,810 --> 01:17:09,740 The first free day is when I die. 1030 01:17:09,770 --> 01:17:12,110 - Is this today? - Yes. 1031 01:17:12,770 --> 01:17:14,860 What a tough day! 1032 01:18:15,080 --> 01:18:17,720 Bovisa's scored three goals! 1033 01:18:17,750 --> 01:18:20,050 Three goals for Bovisa! 1034 01:18:21,340 --> 01:18:23,930 Hey, Mattia. Are you nuts? 1035 01:18:24,340 --> 01:18:26,440 You took out a mortgage for me? 1036 01:18:26,470 --> 01:18:30,110 For your new façade, your neighbours will die of envy! 1037 01:18:30,140 --> 01:18:34,190 Let's get out of the road. I'm going to work. 1038 01:18:34,730 --> 01:18:38,320 He just turned Milanese and he's already irritating me. 1039 01:18:53,500 --> 01:18:56,590 Relax, you only think about work. 1040 01:18:56,790 --> 01:18:59,140 I'm meeting the southern representatives 1041 01:18:59,170 --> 01:19:02,270 and I want to impress them. 1042 01:19:02,300 --> 01:19:04,850 - What shall we call him? - Who? 1043 01:19:05,510 --> 01:19:08,150 - The new gold fish. - It's not easy. 1044 01:19:08,180 --> 01:19:10,610 A name is for life. 1045 01:19:10,640 --> 01:19:14,230 It took Silvia and I 9 months to choose our son's. 1046 01:19:14,390 --> 01:19:18,370 We made lists every day. And in the end... 1047 01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,660 You called him Chicco. Is that short for...? 1048 01:19:20,690 --> 01:19:23,660 No, it's Chicco. That's his legal name. 1049 01:19:23,690 --> 01:19:26,420 9 months to come up with Chicco? 1050 01:19:26,450 --> 01:19:29,250 You called yours Edinson, after a footballer. 1051 01:19:29,280 --> 01:19:32,580 - What if it was a girl? - Pocha. 1052 01:19:33,700 --> 01:19:35,960 Well, goodnight. 1053 01:19:49,090 --> 01:19:51,270 Hello? Sorry it's late. 1054 01:19:51,850 --> 01:19:54,320 - Who is it? - Alberto Colombo from Milan. 1055 01:19:54,350 --> 01:19:55,980 What happened to Mattia? 1056 01:19:57,730 --> 01:20:00,820 - Who is it? - It's Mattia, I need to talk to you. 1057 01:20:00,850 --> 01:20:03,200 Alberto has changed his ways. 1058 01:20:03,230 --> 01:20:08,290 Mattia's changed, he works hard, he's more responsible. 1059 01:20:08,610 --> 01:20:10,910 He even took out a mortgage for me. 1060 01:20:11,370 --> 01:20:14,090 Tell me, did he ask you to tell me this? 1061 01:20:14,120 --> 01:20:15,460 No, it's all true. 1062 01:20:15,490 --> 01:20:17,470 And I can assure you, believe me, 1063 01:20:17,500 --> 01:20:20,170 he'd love to go to the Alpine party with you. 1064 01:20:20,830 --> 01:20:24,180 Mattia, listen, it's late. 1065 01:20:25,090 --> 01:20:30,020 We'll talk some other time, okay? Bye, thanks. 1066 01:20:32,140 --> 01:20:34,270 Let me sleep. 1067 01:20:40,480 --> 01:20:43,320 - Do you miss daddy? - Yes. 1068 01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:54,210 Goodbye. 1069 01:21:06,170 --> 01:21:09,600 - Thanks, Costabile. - Bye, Orlando. 1070 01:21:11,550 --> 01:21:16,190 "Meeting with Southern offices, speaker: Mattia Volpe." 1071 01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:19,990 - That's impossible. - Why? 1072 01:21:20,020 --> 01:21:23,280 Alberto called me last night, he said Mattia's changed. 1073 01:21:23,310 --> 01:21:27,070 He works day and night now. People can change. 1074 01:21:27,520 --> 01:21:31,200 - People can change, Mattia can't. - He can. 1075 01:21:31,820 --> 01:21:35,370 In Milan you can change, it's not like here. 1076 01:21:35,450 --> 01:21:38,550 Everyone works there. Everything's perfect, it's all modern. 1077 01:21:38,580 --> 01:21:40,880 And even Mattia can get ahead. 1078 01:21:41,040 --> 01:21:42,380 Look at this. 1079 01:21:43,540 --> 01:21:46,760 Love is love, but this seems fishy to me. 1080 01:21:46,840 --> 01:21:51,260 Remember when we helped Alberto and Silvia? 1081 01:21:53,930 --> 01:21:56,020 Action! Go, go! 1082 01:22:03,230 --> 01:22:05,570 They want to do the same thing 1083 01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:09,910 to make us believe that in Milan Mattia's changed. 1084 01:22:11,070 --> 01:22:13,960 - You're a genius. - You're a mess. 1085 01:22:13,990 --> 01:22:18,380 - What are you saying? - Yes, he's right. 1086 01:22:18,580 --> 01:22:20,670 Good morning, ma'am. 1087 01:22:21,120 --> 01:22:24,380 Alberto wants to return Mattia's favour. 1088 01:22:25,250 --> 01:22:28,640 Only a mother truly knows her son. 1089 01:22:30,880 --> 01:22:32,640 And? 1090 01:22:33,260 --> 01:22:35,180 And? 1091 01:22:35,720 --> 01:22:38,360 - And this is a farce! - You see? 1092 01:22:38,390 --> 01:22:40,900 My son won't change. 1093 01:22:41,140 --> 01:22:44,320 Everyone can change, even Mattia. 1094 01:22:46,900 --> 01:22:51,580 Here's an idea: let's go to Milan. 1095 01:22:51,610 --> 01:22:54,080 - To Milan? - The trip's paid for. 1096 01:22:54,400 --> 01:22:58,960 They even have a great school for stutterers there. 1097 01:22:59,030 --> 01:23:04,210 - You stutter fine as it is. - Always room for improvement. 1098 01:23:30,560 --> 01:23:33,120 What are you looking at? 1099 01:23:46,080 --> 01:23:48,380 The big suitcase. 1100 01:23:48,710 --> 01:23:51,470 The blue suitcase. 1101 01:23:54,800 --> 01:23:57,470 The red suitcase. 1102 01:24:01,850 --> 01:24:03,900 We're almost done. 1103 01:24:06,430 --> 01:24:09,490 Here. Oh no, this is the kid. 1104 01:24:16,490 --> 01:24:18,620 Porter! 1105 01:24:27,080 --> 01:24:29,170 Look over there! 1106 01:24:29,710 --> 01:24:33,930 Blacks dressed as executives instead of picking tomatoes! 1107 01:24:33,960 --> 01:24:39,480 They do that to make us believe everyone can do well, even Mattia. 1108 01:24:39,510 --> 01:24:43,560 - But we're not stupid. - Leave it to me. 1109 01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:46,060 - Ma'am! - I'll check it out. 1110 01:24:46,140 --> 01:24:48,780 Young men, are you taking us for a ride? 1111 01:24:48,890 --> 01:24:52,820 We don't have rings through our noses. Look at them... 1112 01:24:55,650 --> 01:24:57,330 Never seen her before! 1113 01:24:57,400 --> 01:25:00,830 Stay close, let's stick together. 1114 01:25:02,030 --> 01:25:05,500 Look, he must be talking to an accomplice. 1115 01:25:05,530 --> 01:25:08,090 An accomplice? 1116 01:25:15,040 --> 01:25:17,600 What a surprise! 1117 01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:20,390 A woman taxi driver. 1118 01:25:20,420 --> 01:25:24,100 This is too much! Our farce was better. 1119 01:25:24,300 --> 01:25:30,030 If you want a city to have a modern image, be credible. 1120 01:25:30,060 --> 01:25:32,410 A woman driving a taxi is a bit over the top. 1121 01:25:32,440 --> 01:25:36,240 Milan is light years ahead, women even kiss women here. 1122 01:25:36,310 --> 01:25:39,740 - Right, miss? - Yes, it's true. 1123 01:25:43,160 --> 01:25:44,880 Thanks, ma'am. 1124 01:25:44,910 --> 01:25:47,500 Thanks, buddy. 1125 01:25:49,040 --> 01:25:51,960 Via Mecenate 235. 1126 01:25:52,460 --> 01:25:56,510 Oh, she's turned the metre on, this is a real farce. 1127 01:25:56,540 --> 01:26:00,140 - They use them in Milan. - Seatbelts on, please. 1128 01:26:01,670 --> 01:26:05,140 - In the back too. - Yes, it's the law. 1129 01:26:06,600 --> 01:26:08,280 "The law..." 1130 01:26:08,310 --> 01:26:12,730 She must be Alberto's cousin. Just look at her ears. 1131 01:26:18,980 --> 01:26:21,030 Everyone's wearing helmets. 1132 01:26:21,110 --> 01:26:24,160 They think we were born yesterday. 1133 01:26:24,240 --> 01:26:28,250 That's true, they all wear helmets in Milan. 1134 01:26:28,370 --> 01:26:30,790 Even on bicycles? 1135 01:26:35,500 --> 01:26:39,390 They'll start wearing helmets when they walk too. 1136 01:26:40,630 --> 01:26:43,180 There they are. 1137 01:26:45,380 --> 01:26:47,190 You need a helmet in Milan. 1138 01:26:47,220 --> 01:26:51,070 She's right, they throw rocks off bridges. Don't they, miss? 1139 01:26:51,100 --> 01:26:52,690 Yes... 1140 01:26:58,900 --> 01:27:01,950 Look at her! Unbelievable! 1141 01:27:03,490 --> 01:27:06,660 Good show, we believe you! 1142 01:27:07,740 --> 01:27:11,760 Look, all in single file, all in order. 1143 01:27:11,790 --> 01:27:14,920 We should call child protection services! 1144 01:27:22,550 --> 01:27:24,560 Milanese doors! 1145 01:27:25,300 --> 01:27:27,270 Ma'am, it's 24 Euros. 1146 01:27:27,300 --> 01:27:30,270 Of course, get your friends to pay you. 1147 01:27:30,300 --> 01:27:32,780 Excuse me, it's 24 Euros. 1148 01:27:32,810 --> 01:27:37,410 You want to earn money with this farce. How awful! 1149 01:27:37,440 --> 01:27:40,740 No, you're crazy. You have to pay me. 1150 01:27:40,770 --> 01:27:45,620 It's useless, just accept the facts. You're no good at acting. 1151 01:27:46,070 --> 01:27:48,620 Porter, our baggage, please. 1152 01:27:50,950 --> 01:27:55,250 It's hard to explain the happiness of efficiency. 1153 01:27:55,330 --> 01:27:58,930 And even more, the efficiency of happiness. 1154 01:27:58,960 --> 01:28:04,140 But today I have the right man here, a man who came from the south, 1155 01:28:04,300 --> 01:28:11,350 a man who found glory in the north, the hard-working Mattia Volpe. 1156 01:28:18,480 --> 01:28:23,540 My dear friends, this project has three extraordinary values, 1157 01:28:23,570 --> 01:28:26,030 in which I profoundly believe. 1158 01:28:26,110 --> 01:28:29,040 Number one: efficiency. 1159 01:28:29,200 --> 01:28:30,790 Two: readiness. 1160 01:28:31,240 --> 01:28:34,040 Three: punctuality. 1161 01:28:34,240 --> 01:28:37,670 - Efficiency, punctuality... - You were right. 1162 01:28:38,500 --> 01:28:42,050 - Just as I thought... - They're all in on it. 1163 01:28:42,130 --> 01:28:44,300 I've tried it. 1164 01:28:44,630 --> 01:28:48,350 Registered post in 1 minute, 50 seconds is a thrill. 1165 01:28:48,380 --> 01:28:50,770 Son-of-a-bitch. 1166 01:28:51,510 --> 01:28:56,810 Too much northerness at once, all we need is fog and Alpine soldiers. 1167 01:28:57,270 --> 01:28:59,280 There's one. 1168 01:29:04,020 --> 01:29:06,280 Take that off! 1169 01:29:06,480 --> 01:29:08,710 - Maria! - You look ridiculous. 1170 01:29:08,740 --> 01:29:12,000 It's between me and Alberto. How are you? 1171 01:29:12,030 --> 01:29:14,460 Stop it, I'm not stupid. 1172 01:29:14,660 --> 01:29:16,960 Castellabate could be the Far West 1173 01:29:17,240 --> 01:29:21,090 but Mattia could never work like a Milanese person. 1174 01:29:21,620 --> 01:29:23,890 - And so? - I nearly fell for it. 1175 01:29:23,920 --> 01:29:27,300 But you're no good at farces. Liar! 1176 01:29:27,750 --> 01:29:30,100 Farces? 1177 01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:35,440 Farces? So even Alberto... 1178 01:29:36,810 --> 01:29:39,280 Efficiency, readiness, punctuality. 1179 01:29:39,310 --> 01:29:41,730 Enough of this bullshit. 1180 01:29:42,390 --> 01:29:43,820 Shame on you. 1181 01:29:43,940 --> 01:29:46,740 - Who is this madwoman? - Shut your mouth! 1182 01:29:54,160 --> 01:29:56,500 Drop dead. 1183 01:30:11,210 --> 01:30:14,140 I'm from the south like you 1184 01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:20,020 and I know post offices are full of elderly folk passing their time. 1185 01:30:21,470 --> 01:30:26,400 It's full of emotions, of couples who go there to talk, 1186 01:30:26,480 --> 01:30:29,160 to hear a comforting word. 1187 01:30:30,360 --> 01:30:33,410 So this project won't work in the south. 1188 01:30:34,320 --> 01:30:36,750 Go up there, now! 1189 01:30:37,120 --> 01:30:40,670 This project won't work in the south! 1190 01:30:40,740 --> 01:30:42,880 Calm down! 1191 01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:45,590 Stay here. 1192 01:30:45,620 --> 01:30:49,260 I'm a postman like you and I'm from the north. 1193 01:30:49,750 --> 01:30:53,600 It's not true that this project won't work in the south. 1194 01:30:53,630 --> 01:30:58,140 This project won't work in the north or in the rest of Italy! 1195 01:31:01,390 --> 01:31:03,320 And how do I know? 1196 01:31:03,350 --> 01:31:07,620 I realised when I started taking time for myself and living. 1197 01:31:07,650 --> 01:31:13,700 And I rediscovered the things I love. 1198 01:31:16,910 --> 01:31:18,130 What did I say? 1199 01:31:18,160 --> 01:31:20,960 - What a slap! - Holy Mary! 1200 01:31:21,490 --> 01:31:26,010 It's over for you at the post office. I can assure you. 1201 01:31:26,040 --> 01:31:29,720 - Cut it out, buffoon! - Well said, Maria! 1202 01:31:29,750 --> 01:31:34,310 They could have chosen a less idiotic-looking chief. 1203 01:31:35,380 --> 01:31:39,480 You're Colombo's terrible wife. I'll sue you. 1204 01:31:39,550 --> 01:31:41,480 I'm scared! 1205 01:31:49,690 --> 01:31:53,950 - Did they hire a helicopter too? - So it was true? 1206 01:31:54,320 --> 01:31:58,370 - What have we done? - It wasn't a farce! 1207 01:31:58,530 --> 01:32:02,080 - You talk to Mattia and Alberto. - No, you do it. 1208 01:32:03,280 --> 01:32:07,000 - What shall we do? - Let's go! 1209 01:32:08,580 --> 01:32:12,220 Come on, I know a place where they'll never find us. 1210 01:32:19,840 --> 01:32:23,730 I've lost everything: my job, my wife... 1211 01:32:25,470 --> 01:32:29,530 I've lost my friends and mother. Could it be any worse? 1212 01:32:30,190 --> 01:32:32,360 No. 1213 01:32:32,610 --> 01:32:34,080 Here you are. 1214 01:32:34,110 --> 01:32:37,660 Because of you I was sent to Ariano Irpino. 1215 01:32:37,740 --> 01:32:40,290 - Which one of you is Colombo? - Him! 1216 01:32:43,120 --> 01:32:45,040 Shame on you! 1217 01:33:10,270 --> 01:33:12,370 It's nice here. 1218 01:33:12,400 --> 01:33:14,700 We pay for a house here but never come. 1219 01:33:14,860 --> 01:33:16,450 Why are we here? 1220 01:33:16,480 --> 01:33:18,910 I'm paying for a house, I have the right to see it. 1221 01:33:18,990 --> 01:33:20,750 This is where I met Alberto. 1222 01:33:20,780 --> 01:33:23,590 You know, I met Silvia here. 1223 01:33:23,620 --> 01:33:27,670 I met Mattia on the beach. He was always sun-bathing. 1224 01:33:27,870 --> 01:33:31,760 Maria's prettier now than when I met her. 1225 01:33:31,790 --> 01:33:35,090 I can't imagine him working day and night. 1226 01:33:35,420 --> 01:33:39,350 What about me? Now that Alberto wants more free time 1227 01:33:39,380 --> 01:33:44,100 he might be at home more, glued to me, with hobbies... 1228 01:33:44,260 --> 01:33:47,230 I want to spend more time with Silvia, and at home. 1229 01:33:47,430 --> 01:33:50,940 I'll find a hobby or I'll learn to cook. 1230 01:33:53,520 --> 01:33:55,780 - Maria. - What is it? 1231 01:33:55,810 --> 01:33:58,240 - Tell me it's not true. - What? 1232 01:34:00,190 --> 01:34:03,870 Hooray for the Alpine soldiers! 1233 01:34:04,280 --> 01:34:06,000 Holy Mary! 1234 01:34:06,570 --> 01:34:10,380 He's an Alpine soldier now too? 1235 01:34:18,920 --> 01:34:21,890 Hooray for the Alpine soldiers! 1236 01:34:40,980 --> 01:34:43,490 Sorry. 1237 01:34:51,370 --> 01:34:54,050 You look so handsome! 1238 01:35:02,000 --> 01:35:04,560 Hey, drink up. 1239 01:35:05,760 --> 01:35:07,060 I don't drink. 1240 01:35:07,090 --> 01:35:11,190 You can't say no to Alpine soldiers, they'll get offended. 1241 01:35:15,730 --> 01:35:19,240 Well, the north isn't so cold, is it? 1242 01:35:19,270 --> 01:35:23,080 It's like being in Castellabate. All that's missing is the sea. 1243 01:35:35,540 --> 01:35:38,140 - What's up? - I think I drank too much. 1244 01:35:38,170 --> 01:35:41,390 I saw my mum hugging Scapece dressed as an Alpine soldier. 1245 01:35:41,420 --> 01:35:47,480 Really? As an Alpine soldier? That's brilliant! 1246 01:35:58,690 --> 01:36:01,240 Polenta! 1247 01:36:26,340 --> 01:36:30,560 Erminia, your blood pressure's lovely. 1248 01:36:30,590 --> 01:36:33,650 No, yours is lovelier. 1249 01:36:41,350 --> 01:36:44,830 To hell with work, I'll stay home all day, I promise. 1250 01:36:44,860 --> 01:36:47,580 - Slow down. - In what way? 1251 01:36:47,610 --> 01:36:50,160 All day is too much. 1252 01:36:53,570 --> 01:36:56,840 Only you could be beautiful in every single city. 1253 01:36:56,870 --> 01:36:59,800 In Castellabate, in Milan, and here too. 1254 01:36:59,830 --> 01:37:01,300 Idiot! 1255 01:37:01,330 --> 01:37:03,470 When I come home I'll take out a mortgage! 1256 01:37:03,500 --> 01:37:06,140 You said "mortgage". 1257 01:37:06,960 --> 01:37:09,680 Fixed-rate mortgage, flexible mortgage... 1258 01:37:10,260 --> 01:37:12,180 This is flexible. 1259 01:37:15,720 --> 01:37:17,940 It's your turn. 1260 01:37:25,150 --> 01:37:26,820 Come and see. 1261 01:37:37,910 --> 01:37:40,340 How beautiful! 1262 01:37:42,160 --> 01:37:45,050 - The north is beautiful too. - Wow. 1263 01:37:52,930 --> 01:37:55,560 Holy Mary! 1264 01:38:04,940 --> 01:38:06,530 MILAN, ONE MONTH LATER 1265 01:38:06,560 --> 01:38:08,290 Eat your little salad. 1266 01:38:08,320 --> 01:38:11,000 You always say little salad, little drink, 1267 01:38:11,030 --> 01:38:15,130 little coffee... In Milan everything's little. 1268 01:38:15,160 --> 01:38:18,630 But you call a cappuccino a "cappuccio". 1269 01:38:19,700 --> 01:38:22,130 - These are veal shanks. - I know. 1270 01:38:22,160 --> 01:38:24,260 - This is pork stew. - I know. 1271 01:38:24,290 --> 01:38:25,800 - This is a cutlet. - I know. 1272 01:38:25,830 --> 01:38:29,060 - You know everything. - I've been here ages. 1273 01:38:29,090 --> 01:38:31,930 It's not my fault you're only welcoming me now. 1274 01:38:31,960 --> 01:38:35,190 True, we haven't welcomed you officially yet. 1275 01:38:35,220 --> 01:38:38,650 - Mattia, welcome to the north. - Welcome, Mattia. 1276 01:38:39,970 --> 01:38:44,150 - A bit late, but I'm happy. - We're not like you southerners. 1277 01:38:44,230 --> 01:38:48,780 You go into people's houses, take everything and hang cheeses. 1278 01:38:51,230 --> 01:38:53,960 But you Milanese don't let anyone in, 1279 01:38:53,990 --> 01:38:57,160 you send them straight to the hotel. 1280 01:38:58,120 --> 01:39:00,540 He didn't even spend one night there! 1281 01:39:01,370 --> 01:39:03,750 Say goodbye to the north, Mattia. 1282 01:39:04,330 --> 01:39:06,670 - Goodbye. - What's this? 1283 01:39:15,470 --> 01:39:17,560 Castellabate? 1284 01:39:19,010 --> 01:39:24,020 The post office fired Palmisani so I asked a favour. 1285 01:39:25,520 --> 01:39:30,070 In the end you got rid of me. You're brilliant. 1286 01:39:30,400 --> 01:39:32,410 I get my bed back. 1287 01:39:33,860 --> 01:39:36,370 This is a really typical Milanese dinner. 1288 01:39:36,400 --> 01:39:39,500 Not because we're eating veal shanks and cutlets 1289 01:39:39,530 --> 01:39:43,840 but because only in Milan do you welcome someone and say goodbye. 1290 01:39:43,870 --> 01:39:46,840 To save time, I know. 1291 01:39:47,000 --> 01:39:49,220 To Mattia! To Castellabate! 1292 01:39:58,050 --> 01:40:01,480 We have to pay the bill. The bill! 1293 01:40:01,800 --> 01:40:03,110 What did you have? 1294 01:40:03,140 --> 01:40:05,530 I shared the stew with Ciaparat. 1295 01:40:05,560 --> 01:40:09,320 A dessert and water. The usual, 22.50. 1296 01:40:10,310 --> 01:40:14,540 Half of Sandrino's stew, polenta, veal shanks, wine and coffee. 1297 01:40:14,570 --> 01:40:16,790 16.67. Alberto? 1298 01:40:16,820 --> 01:40:19,670 Veal shanks, stew, salad, water and wine. 1299 01:40:19,700 --> 01:40:22,130 Okay, water and wine... That's 15 Euros. 1300 01:40:22,160 --> 01:40:26,250 I had veal shanks too, stew, potatoes, water and wine. 1301 01:40:26,290 --> 01:40:30,300 - That's 46.80. - But we all had the same. 1302 01:40:30,330 --> 01:40:34,010 Well someone has to pay for the wine. Mattia? 1303 01:40:34,420 --> 01:40:36,520 Well... I had a cutlet, 1304 01:40:36,550 --> 01:40:38,690 a spoonful of Ciaparat's dessert, 1305 01:40:38,720 --> 01:40:41,560 four glasses of water, one coffee with four sugars 1306 01:40:41,590 --> 01:40:43,190 and a bite of a sandwich. 1307 01:40:43,220 --> 01:40:47,480 And I looked at the meat the man at the next table was eating. 1308 01:40:48,810 --> 01:40:51,280 You always have to be... 1309 01:40:51,690 --> 01:40:53,950 Let's do it Neapolitan-style, one pays for all. 1310 01:40:53,980 --> 01:40:56,990 A round of applause for Alberto. 1311 01:40:57,570 --> 01:40:59,290 Thanks, Alberto. 1312 01:40:59,450 --> 01:41:03,750 I'm joking, it's my turn to pay tonight. 1313 01:41:08,950 --> 01:41:11,220 So I put it in first? 1314 01:41:11,250 --> 01:41:14,810 Make sure that the bone is cut in the narrowest part 1315 01:41:14,840 --> 01:41:16,850 and that it's full of marrow. 1316 01:41:16,880 --> 01:41:18,930 I'll post you some. 1317 01:41:18,960 --> 01:41:21,560 I'll send you something nice too: 1318 01:41:21,590 --> 01:41:24,730 "Tears of Emotion 2" in 3D. 1319 01:41:24,760 --> 01:41:27,440 - Will it make me cry? - You won't stop... 1320 01:41:28,390 --> 01:41:31,820 Isn't it a lovely day? Is it daytime or night? 1321 01:41:33,900 --> 01:41:35,240 Say goodbye to Erminia. 1322 01:41:35,270 --> 01:41:38,580 This is for Edinson and this is for Castellabate. 1323 01:41:38,780 --> 01:41:42,410 Will you send me a Napoli championship T-shirt? 1324 01:41:42,660 --> 01:41:47,840 No, it's bad luck to say that. Take it over there. 1325 01:41:48,160 --> 01:41:51,170 You'll jinx us. 1326 01:41:53,670 --> 01:41:55,640 I'll say bye to Maria for you. 1327 01:41:55,670 --> 01:41:58,930 - It's a man to man thing. - Yes, I'll leave you. 1328 01:41:59,800 --> 01:42:03,150 I wanted to tell you that with a manager's wage 1329 01:42:03,180 --> 01:42:05,770 you'll easily get a mortgage. 1330 01:42:05,800 --> 01:42:07,400 I'm a manager? 1331 01:42:07,430 --> 01:42:10,610 No. You've become responsible, but don't exaggerate. 1332 01:42:10,640 --> 01:42:14,280 - Maria, I had her promoted. - Maria is... 1333 01:42:14,310 --> 01:42:16,360 Happy? 1334 01:42:16,900 --> 01:42:21,370 Talking of responsibility, there's something I must tell you. 1335 01:42:22,150 --> 01:42:25,500 - Remember the goldfish? - Mr Trout? God rest his soul. 1336 01:42:25,530 --> 01:42:29,630 - He ended up in the sushi. - You ate him? With rice? 1337 01:42:32,580 --> 01:42:35,590 Not me, you. 1338 01:42:38,170 --> 01:42:40,260 Anyway... 1339 01:42:41,050 --> 01:42:43,060 I think you have to go. 1340 01:42:43,090 --> 01:42:45,350 I love you. 1341 01:42:45,470 --> 01:42:48,520 Same here. Loads. 1342 01:43:10,990 --> 01:43:13,750 LET'S ROLL 1343 01:50:00,860 --> 01:50:04,460 Subtitles: Laser S. Film s.r.l. - Rome 102170