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1
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:09,841
[President Kennedy] Ask not what
your country can do for you.
2
00:00:09,924 --> 00:00:12,508
Ask what you can do
for your country.
3
00:00:12,591 --> 00:00:14,133
[President Reagan]
Mr. Gorbachev,
4
00:00:14,216 --> 00:00:16,466
tear down this wall!
5
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,383
[President Franklin Roosevelt]
The only thing we have to fear
6
00:00:19,466 --> 00:00:21,008
is fear itself!
7
00:00:21,091 --> 00:00:23,591
[President Trump] "Uhh, I don't
know what I said. Uhh!"
8
00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:26,550
??
9
00:00:26,632 --> 00:00:30,757
[man chanting
in native language]
10
00:00:30,841 --> 00:00:33,425
[group chanting
in native language]
11
00:00:33,508 --> 00:00:38,300
??
12
00:00:38,383 --> 00:00:43,216
??
13
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:48,300
??
14
00:00:50,841 --> 00:00:53,716
[babbling]
15
00:00:55,466 --> 00:00:57,216
[tape rewinding]
16
00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:58,550
I don't remember!
17
00:01:02,091 --> 00:01:06,841
???
18
00:01:06,924 --> 00:01:11,550
???
19
00:01:17,757 --> 00:01:21,174
???
20
00:01:21,258 --> 00:01:24,632
???
21
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,091
We are going to drain the swamp
22
00:01:34,174 --> 00:01:37,466
in Washington, D.C.
23
00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:41,133
I believe that the
mentally ill need guns,
24
00:01:41,216 --> 00:01:43,049
because they are the people
who are most bullied.
25
00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:47,716
???
26
00:01:47,799 --> 00:01:52,425
???
27
00:01:52,508 --> 00:01:54,716
I am, uh,
Billy Wayne Ruddock.
28
00:01:54,799 --> 00:01:58,716
I'm here with Barney Frank,
who was a congressman
29
00:01:58,799 --> 00:02:01,300
and who now is no longer
a congressman.
True.
30
00:02:01,383 --> 00:02:02,799
I believe you are from
31
00:02:02,882 --> 00:02:04,216
a different political
perspective than me.
32
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:07,049
So let me ask you.
33
00:02:07,133 --> 00:02:09,799
Do you accept
that Donald J. Trump
34
00:02:09,882 --> 00:02:12,174
is the greatest president
this country has ever known?
35
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,466
Oh, not -- not --
not -- not at all.
36
00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:17,008
-What?
-The answer is, no, not at all.
37
00:02:17,091 --> 00:02:21,383
As of now, very little in
public policy has changed.
38
00:02:21,466 --> 00:02:24,008
-Fake news.
-What's fake news?
39
00:02:24,091 --> 00:02:25,799
You think he is,
I think he isn't.
40
00:02:25,882 --> 00:02:28,049
Fine. Well, let's
agree to disagree.
41
00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:30,757
So, we're gonna talk
about something
42
00:02:30,841 --> 00:02:34,383
that might be difficult for you,
something called facts, and --
43
00:02:34,466 --> 00:02:35,757
Again, w-what --
44
00:02:35,841 --> 00:02:38,425
Th-That's a sort of
gratuitous insult.
45
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:40,966
I did come hoping to have
a relaxed conversation,
46
00:02:41,049 --> 00:02:43,258
and you seem to me to be
somewhat on edge about this.
47
00:02:43,341 --> 00:02:44,466
Not at all.
Oh, well --
48
00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:46,300
I'm extremely relaxed.
And I'm comfortable.
49
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:48,966
-Okay. I, uh --
-I brought my own chair.
50
00:02:49,049 --> 00:02:51,924
CNN, the Communist
News Network,
51
00:02:52,008 --> 00:02:55,924
put out a myth which
was called Vaginal-gate,
52
00:02:56,008 --> 00:03:00,133
where they scurrilously
tried to imply
53
00:03:00,216 --> 00:03:04,341
that the President had said
horrendous things about women,
54
00:03:04,425 --> 00:03:05,966
which was
completely untrue!
55
00:03:06,049 --> 00:03:07,757
Oh, you think
the tape was false?
56
00:03:07,841 --> 00:03:09,174
Yes, I do.
And I have proof.
57
00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:10,966
-No, you don't.
-Yes, I do.
58
00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:12,841
I think that's deluded.
What's your proof?
59
00:03:12,924 --> 00:03:14,757
Deluded?! Well, that is --
that is an insult, sir.
60
00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:17,049
-Yes, it's meant to be.
-That is meant to be an insult?
61
00:03:17,133 --> 00:03:19,008
-Yes.
-Well, let me show you.
62
00:03:23,008 --> 00:03:24,966
[keys clacking]
63
00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:29,799
-Hold on, sir.
-I'm not going anywhere.
64
00:03:29,882 --> 00:03:31,466
What are you --
What are you worrying about?
65
00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:34,091
Access Hollywood.
66
00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:38,133
What actually happened
was they edited the sound.
67
00:03:38,216 --> 00:03:41,133
It was a longer conversation
that was edited down.
68
00:03:41,216 --> 00:03:43,757
Okay, but did he not say
"grab 'em by the pussy"?
69
00:03:43,841 --> 00:03:46,591
He did not.
Billy Bush was talking
70
00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:50,508
about a rat infestation
that he had.
71
00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:55,383
This, sir, is the undoctored,
unedited audio --
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00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:58,632
-Where'd you get it?
-From RealNewsKansas.org.
73
00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:01,841
-Okay.
-Hear it, sir, please.
74
00:04:01,924 --> 00:04:05,008
Don't immediately
dismiss it.
75
00:04:05,091 --> 00:04:06,550
[Trump] Yeah, that's her,
with the gold.
76
00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:10,300
[man] I got a real problem
with mice in my house.
77
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,091
How do I pick them up?
78
00:04:12,174 --> 00:04:13,882
-[Trump] Grab 'em.
-[man] Okay.
79
00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:15,591
But I'm thinking
of purchasing a cat
80
00:04:15,674 --> 00:04:17,466
to catch those mice.
81
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,425
Do you think
I should purchase a cat?
82
00:04:19,508 --> 00:04:20,924
[Trump] Buy the pussy.
83
00:04:21,008 --> 00:04:23,300
-That doesn't make any sense.
-"Grab them."
84
00:04:23,383 --> 00:04:25,757
Yeah, I think you've --
I think that's a fabrication.
85
00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:28,258
-How is that a fabrication?
-Because somebody fabricated it.
86
00:04:28,341 --> 00:04:30,466
-Look, I got to tell you --
-You heard it. That is evidence.
87
00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:32,008
That is black-and-white!
88
00:04:32,091 --> 00:04:33,757
This is -- The fabrication
what you played,
89
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,008
it doesn't make sense.
90
00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:36,300
No, I don't believe
that Donald Bu--
91
00:04:36,383 --> 00:04:38,632
Donald Trump was giving
Billy Bush advice
92
00:04:38,716 --> 00:04:40,341
about how to catch rats.
93
00:04:40,425 --> 00:04:43,799
So, let's talk about
crooked Hillary.
94
00:04:43,882 --> 00:04:46,841
Did you support her
in her nefarious plan
95
00:04:46,924 --> 00:04:50,550
to take over
the presidency?
96
00:04:50,632 --> 00:04:52,383
I supported her
in her, uh, plan
97
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,924
to be elected
to the presidency.
98
00:04:54,008 --> 00:04:57,216
-So, did you support her?
-I just said yes.
99
00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:00,716
Do you at least admit,
Congressman Frank,
100
00:05:00,799 --> 00:05:04,799
that Hillary Clinton was
running a pedophile ring
101
00:05:04,882 --> 00:05:07,383
underneath the pizza --
Oh, thank you. That is --
102
00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:10,133
the pizza restaurant
right here in Washington?
103
00:05:10,216 --> 00:05:12,216
No, I'm glad that you
said that, because --
104
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,008
Thank you. Will you agree to
that? And I appreciate that.
105
00:05:14,091 --> 00:05:15,841
No, I'm not shaking hands
on that, because...
106
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,632
Well, that's rude.
...it's a despicable lie.
107
00:05:17,716 --> 00:05:20,133
How do you respond, sir,
to this proof?
108
00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:27,341
This is a receipt from
the very same pizza parlor.
109
00:05:27,425 --> 00:05:30,008
Ping Pong Comet.
Do you agree?
110
00:05:30,091 --> 00:05:32,049
I -- It's a receipt
from Ping Pong Comet.
111
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:35,216
What's the proof that it's part
of a child-pornography ring?
112
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,757
It says "CHILD"
and, next to it, "FREE."
113
00:05:37,841 --> 00:05:40,425
Yeah.
They were giving away
children for free.
114
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,757
That is sick.
At least --
115
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,466
They were not giving
away children, sir.
116
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:46,174
That meant that the
children came in for free,
117
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,674
not that the children
were given away for free.
118
00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:50,966
This is purchased from
eBay, sir, from eBay,
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00:05:51,049 --> 00:05:53,966
from a seller
who is 94% ratified.
120
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:56,258
If you were in the process
of running a ring,
121
00:05:56,341 --> 00:05:58,341
you wouldn't have
a printed receipt to give out
122
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,383
as proof of your criminality,
But what "CHILD FREE" means --
123
00:06:00,466 --> 00:06:03,466
That is how stupid
the Clintons are.
124
00:06:03,550 --> 00:06:05,049
I'm -- I'm not
gonna put...
125
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:08,632
But do you at least admit that
North Korea controls the news?
126
00:06:09,799 --> 00:06:11,216
I'll take that as a yes.
127
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:13,008
???
128
00:06:13,091 --> 00:06:14,341
[man chanting
in native language]
129
00:06:15,591 --> 00:06:16,966
[speaking Hebrew]
130
00:06:17,049 --> 00:06:20,174
Today, the biggest
terror threat in America
131
00:06:20,258 --> 00:06:23,341
comes from radical liberals
called Antifa.
132
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,632
? Hey, hey, ho, ho,
Nazis have got to go ?
133
00:06:26,716 --> 00:06:27,966
? Hey, hey... ?
134
00:06:28,049 --> 00:06:30,091
[Morad] These
Nissan Leaf -driving vegans
135
00:06:30,174 --> 00:06:31,466
are dangerous...
136
00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:33,383
too dangerous for me alone.
137
00:06:33,466 --> 00:06:36,674
I'm gonna need some backup.
Yalla. Let's go.
138
00:06:36,757 --> 00:06:41,799
???
139
00:06:44,049 --> 00:06:45,716
I think there's blame
on both sides,
140
00:06:45,799 --> 00:06:47,425
and I have no doubt about it.
141
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,049
What about the alt-left?
142
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:52,091
They came charging at the,
as you say, the alt-right.
143
00:06:52,174 --> 00:06:55,008
Do they have
any semblance of guilt?
144
00:06:55,091 --> 00:06:57,757
[Morad] I need a warrior
to help me on my mission,
145
00:06:57,841 --> 00:07:00,425
so I go to America's heartland
146
00:07:00,508 --> 00:07:02,882
to pick one of
three contestants,
147
00:07:02,966 --> 00:07:05,632
all of whom have already
proven their courage
148
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,049
by anonymously attacking
149
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:10,508
women, immigrants,
and homos on the Internet.
150
00:07:10,591 --> 00:07:14,341
There are at least 50 documented
terrorist training camps
151
00:07:14,425 --> 00:07:16,674
in the continental
United States.
152
00:07:16,757 --> 00:07:19,632
What is the most
dangerous terror group
153
00:07:19,716 --> 00:07:20,882
in the United States?
154
00:07:20,966 --> 00:07:22,966
-I don't know.
-Antifa.
155
00:07:23,049 --> 00:07:24,591
-Antifa.
-Yes.
156
00:07:24,674 --> 00:07:26,216
Who are Antifa?
157
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:27,425
They're the anti-fascists.
158
00:07:27,508 --> 00:07:28,966
They want to
take down everything
159
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,466
that our current president
is doing right.
160
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:33,799
What will happen
if they have their way
161
00:07:33,882 --> 00:07:35,550
and get rid of fascists?
162
00:07:35,632 --> 00:07:37,258
How will America be?
163
00:07:37,341 --> 00:07:40,300
We will be-- become
a shithole country.
164
00:07:40,383 --> 00:07:42,841
We know that Antifa
are planning something.
165
00:07:42,924 --> 00:07:45,174
Who is brave enough
166
00:07:45,258 --> 00:07:48,383
to tackle these
anti-fascist terrorists?
167
00:07:48,466 --> 00:07:49,508
-I will.
-I will.
168
00:07:49,591 --> 00:07:50,924
I've been thinking
about it a lot.
169
00:07:51,008 --> 00:07:52,674
Train me, equip me,
I'll do it.
170
00:07:52,757 --> 00:07:54,924
To infiltrate Antifa,
171
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:58,841
we have to know
how to walk and talk,
172
00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:02,133
eat and even smell
like a liberal.
173
00:08:03,674 --> 00:08:06,966
???
174
00:08:07,049 --> 00:08:09,383
How long do you
cook quinoa for?
175
00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:11,674
Couldn't tell ya.
176
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:14,174
-I don't know what that is.
-Nine minutes.
177
00:08:14,258 --> 00:08:17,174
What is the recommended
rear tire pressure
178
00:08:17,258 --> 00:08:19,091
of the Nissan Leaf?
179
00:08:19,174 --> 00:08:21,133
32 pounds
per square inch.
180
00:08:21,216 --> 00:08:23,133
-35.
-35.
181
00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:25,799
It's actually
35 to 36, but....
182
00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:27,508
-Good. I like the detail.
-Yeah.
183
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:30,508
There is a television
show here -- Girls.
184
00:08:30,591 --> 00:08:31,882
I don't -- I don't --
185
00:08:31,966 --> 00:08:33,716
-I'm not even familiar with it.
-Yeah.
186
00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:38,091
There is a lead actor
called Lena Dunham.
187
00:08:38,174 --> 00:08:40,216
-She is a liberal.
-Yes.
188
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:42,632
They like to use this
as a code word.
189
00:08:42,716 --> 00:08:46,466
They say, "Ah, what's your
favorite episode of Girls?"
190
00:08:46,550 --> 00:08:48,550
Oh, okay. So kind of
like an introduction.
191
00:08:48,632 --> 00:08:51,133
You don't have to learn
all of it. Learn one.
192
00:08:51,216 --> 00:08:54,008
Season two,
episode shalosh.
193
00:08:54,091 --> 00:08:57,882
In this one, Hannah gets
to know her neighbor, Laird.
194
00:08:57,966 --> 00:08:59,383
Meanwhile, Marnie meets
195
00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:02,383
her old artist flame,
Booth Jonathan,
196
00:09:02,466 --> 00:09:06,383
who take her home
to show her the studio.
197
00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:09,216
Dude, what's your favorite
episode of Girls?
198
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,674
Gosh, I like season two,
episode three.
199
00:09:11,757 --> 00:09:15,091
Good. Okay.
So, let's do introduction.
200
00:09:15,174 --> 00:09:16,841
You pretend to
be liberal. Go.
201
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,924
Dude, what's your favorite
episode of Girls, man?
202
00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:21,008
Oh, I like season one,
episode six.
203
00:09:21,091 --> 00:09:22,383
What is your
favorite episode?
204
00:09:22,466 --> 00:09:24,383
I like season two,
episode three.
205
00:09:24,466 --> 00:09:26,341
She -- She did a bunch
of stuff on the thing.
206
00:09:26,425 --> 00:09:28,508
She met her neighbor
downstairs, and, uh --
207
00:09:28,591 --> 00:09:30,632
What was the neighbor
called?
208
00:09:30,716 --> 00:09:32,216
-Lost it.
-Bang! Out!
209
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,508
-He is an infiltrator.
-Yep.
210
00:09:34,591 --> 00:09:38,799
Remember, the neighbor
downstairs is called Laird.
211
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,425
-[all] Laird.
-Good.
212
00:09:40,508 --> 00:09:42,216
What else happened
in this episode?
213
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:46,674
She went to her ex-flame's
studio apartment.
214
00:09:46,757 --> 00:09:48,757
-And what was his name?
-Booth Jonathan.
215
00:09:48,841 --> 00:09:50,591
And who went?
216
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:51,924
-Anna.
-No!
217
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,632
Laird.
Laird is the
downstairs neighbor.
218
00:09:54,716 --> 00:09:55,924
That went
with Jonathan --
219
00:09:56,008 --> 00:09:56,966
-Marnie!
-Oh, Marnie.
220
00:09:57,049 --> 00:09:59,632
-Marnie, Marnie.
-Marnie.
221
00:09:59,716 --> 00:10:00,882
[whistle blows]
222
00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:02,591
Convince me
you are a liberal.
223
00:10:02,674 --> 00:10:04,133
What's your favorite
episode of Girls?
224
00:10:04,216 --> 00:10:05,716
Season one,
episode seven.
225
00:10:05,799 --> 00:10:07,425
What is your favorite
episode of Girls?
226
00:10:07,508 --> 00:10:09,258
Mine's season two,
episode three.
227
00:10:09,341 --> 00:10:10,508
What happens in it?
228
00:10:10,591 --> 00:10:13,008
That's where, uh,
An-- Hannah
229
00:10:13,091 --> 00:10:15,300
meets her, uh,
downstairs neighbor, Laird.
230
00:10:15,383 --> 00:10:18,383
And, uh, Maria
meets her -- her --
231
00:10:18,466 --> 00:10:19,674
Oh, shit.
232
00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:20,841
-Marnie.
-Marnie.
233
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,091
[whistle blows]
234
00:10:22,174 --> 00:10:23,425
Marnie!
235
00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:25,674
-Say after me. Marnie.
-[all] Marnie.
236
00:10:25,757 --> 00:10:26,799
Say it ten times.
237
00:10:26,882 --> 00:10:29,591
[all] Marnie. Marnie.
Marnie. Marnie.
238
00:10:29,674 --> 00:10:32,674
Marnie. Marnie.
Marnie. Marnie.
239
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,924
Marnie. Marnie.
240
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,049
Enough.
That's eleven.
241
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:37,757
What is the aim
of the MeToo Movement?
242
00:10:37,841 --> 00:10:39,841
-To take over the world.
-Of course.
243
00:10:39,924 --> 00:10:41,466
And what will they do
244
00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:42,757
when they take over the
world, these feminists?
245
00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:45,508
-Kill all the men.
-Of course.
246
00:10:45,591 --> 00:10:49,216
So, one thing that the
liberal men are is what?
247
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,882
Oh, they're such pussies.
248
00:10:50,966 --> 00:10:52,591
One thing that you
will have to learn
249
00:10:52,674 --> 00:10:55,216
how to do
as a liberal man
250
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:58,341
is to give other men
compliments.
251
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:02,425
???
252
00:11:02,508 --> 00:11:04,716
Convince me
that you liberals
253
00:11:04,799 --> 00:11:06,632
by giving each other
compliments.
254
00:11:06,716 --> 00:11:08,174
[whistle blows]
255
00:11:08,258 --> 00:11:10,049
Hi, Cody.
My name's Glenn.
256
00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:12,049
I love the way
your shirt fits you.
257
00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:14,300
Thank you.
I love the way you smell.
258
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,341
I love your hair, too,
the way it looks,
259
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,216
the way it just hangs
just above your ears.
260
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,508
Well, thank you.
I love your legs.
261
00:11:20,591 --> 00:11:22,425
Yeah, your clothes
fit you nice.
262
00:11:22,508 --> 00:11:25,091
You have the best chest
and shoulders I've ever seen.
263
00:11:25,174 --> 00:11:26,425
Love your eyes, man.
264
00:11:26,508 --> 00:11:28,716
-Yeah, I love those cheeks.
-Mm-hmm.
265
00:11:28,799 --> 00:11:31,091
In case there are
radical lesbians
266
00:11:31,174 --> 00:11:33,466
that we need
to go undercover as,
267
00:11:33,550 --> 00:11:36,966
I need you to know real
information about lesbians
268
00:11:37,049 --> 00:11:38,716
so that you can be
one of them.
269
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,632
-Are you ready to learn?
-Yes.
270
00:11:40,716 --> 00:11:44,216
???
271
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:47,550
Describe the typical
clothes of the lesbian.
272
00:11:47,632 --> 00:11:51,383
Flannel shirt, short hair,
uh, men's jeans, men's --
273
00:11:51,466 --> 00:11:55,300
Just T-shirts and just
trying to look like a guy.
274
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:59,550
37% of lesbian dress
like Charlie Chaplin.
275
00:12:01,966 --> 00:12:04,425
Why, we don't know.
276
00:12:04,508 --> 00:12:07,425
So, we are going to
learn some phrases
277
00:12:07,508 --> 00:12:10,550
in case you have to be
a radical lesbian tomorrow.
278
00:12:10,632 --> 00:12:12,174
That's what
we're here to do.
279
00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:15,799
"I hate penises."
Repeat after me.
280
00:12:15,882 --> 00:12:17,258
[all] I hate penises.
281
00:12:17,341 --> 00:12:18,841
Say it like
you believe it.
282
00:12:18,924 --> 00:12:21,133
-I hate fucking penises.
-Good.
283
00:12:21,216 --> 00:12:24,216
How do you think a lesbian
will greet each other?
284
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,091
-Never put any thought into it.
-A hug?
285
00:12:26,174 --> 00:12:27,632
"I just seen
that fucking asshole
286
00:12:27,716 --> 00:12:30,174
with a penis down there.
How you doing?"
287
00:12:30,258 --> 00:12:31,966
Good. Pretend
to be a lesbian.
288
00:12:32,049 --> 00:12:33,591
[whistle blows]
289
00:12:33,674 --> 00:12:35,216
Is there any good pussy-tail
going on around here?
290
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,674
Pussy-tail?
What is pussy-tail?
291
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,174
Sorry. I-I was gonna say
"tail," not "pussy."
292
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,258
Okay. And what do you think
about the male genitals?
293
00:12:42,341 --> 00:12:44,841
I hate penises.
I really, really do.
294
00:12:44,924 --> 00:12:47,049
Okay. Convince me
you are a lesbian.
295
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,882
Um, you know, the toughest
thing for me was coming out
296
00:12:49,966 --> 00:12:52,425
when I was at my folks' house,
when I was about 18 years old.
297
00:12:52,508 --> 00:12:53,924
-You like penises?
-Oh, hell, no.
298
00:12:54,008 --> 00:12:56,008
That's why I'm down here
looking for some little action,
299
00:12:56,091 --> 00:12:57,508
a little pussy action.
300
00:12:57,591 --> 00:13:00,133
I hate penises.
301
00:13:00,216 --> 00:13:04,550
So, I want you now --
we do a role-ing play.
302
00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:06,841
They are suspicious.
303
00:13:06,924 --> 00:13:10,716
In order to convince them
that you are a radical liberal,
304
00:13:10,799 --> 00:13:14,383
you will have to be able
to show disrespect
305
00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:17,591
to the man
we all admire most.
306
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:24,216
Yeah, that will be hard.
But I will do it.
307
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:27,799
???
308
00:13:27,882 --> 00:13:30,591
I hate that son of a bitch.
Man, he golfs every day.
309
00:13:30,674 --> 00:13:33,216
He doesn't get his shit done,
talks down.
310
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,632
He's prejudiced against anybody
that comes to the country,
311
00:13:35,716 --> 00:13:37,674
just a fat out-of-shape
motherfucker.
312
00:13:37,757 --> 00:13:40,300
Are you really liberal?
I'm suspicious. Prove it.
313
00:13:40,383 --> 00:13:41,882
I hate this piece of shit.
314
00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:43,383
Just bend him over
and fuck him,
315
00:13:43,466 --> 00:13:45,383
piece of fucking shit.
Prove you don't like him.
316
00:13:45,466 --> 00:13:48,091
Prove that you really
are a liberal.
317
00:13:48,174 --> 00:13:51,049
Fuck you, bitch.
To the manhood. Fuck you.
318
00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,466
[grunts]
319
00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:54,049
Good. Next.
320
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,716
Ahh, yeah, yeah!
321
00:13:55,799 --> 00:13:57,383
Yeah, titty-fuck you,
motherfucker.
322
00:13:57,466 --> 00:13:59,341
Yeah, take that shit, huh?
You likin' it?
323
00:13:59,425 --> 00:14:02,799
I think
you are pro-Trump.
324
00:14:02,882 --> 00:14:04,716
-Yeah, huh?
-Yeah.
325
00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:08,966
Okay. What happens if they say,
"We are not convinced"?
326
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,882
Yeah, spread those, baby.
Yeah, take that shit, dude.
327
00:14:11,966 --> 00:14:14,674
[grunts] Yeah.
328
00:14:14,757 --> 00:14:18,300
Yeah, yeah. Come here.
[grunting]
329
00:14:18,383 --> 00:14:20,341
Yeah. Come on, dude.
Yeah.
330
00:14:20,425 --> 00:14:22,966
Oh, how's that feel,
Mr. Trump?
331
00:14:23,049 --> 00:14:25,425
Where are those taxes,
by the way?
332
00:14:25,508 --> 00:14:27,091
[Morad] Now that
the training is finished,
333
00:14:27,174 --> 00:14:29,258
it was time
to choose my partner.
334
00:14:29,341 --> 00:14:30,924
Cody, you are going home.
335
00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:33,258
I am sorry.
336
00:14:33,341 --> 00:14:36,133
Darren.
You are going home.
337
00:14:36,216 --> 00:14:38,383
???
338
00:14:38,466 --> 00:14:40,591
Glenn was perfect
for the mission.
339
00:14:40,674 --> 00:14:42,757
So with his training complete,
340
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,550
it was time to fly
to the most dangerous
341
00:14:45,632 --> 00:14:48,632
terrorist gathering
in the world --
342
00:14:48,716 --> 00:14:51,591
the Women's March
in San Francisco!
343
00:14:51,674 --> 00:14:54,258
So, there is
important development.
344
00:14:54,341 --> 00:14:59,300
Overnight, we have
received new intel.
345
00:14:59,383 --> 00:15:03,841
There is a radical
lesbian cell from New York.
346
00:15:03,924 --> 00:15:08,508
They have developed
a special type of diaper.
347
00:15:08,591 --> 00:15:12,174
The diaper have
hormone-um in it.
348
00:15:12,258 --> 00:15:15,258
When the baby
wear this diaper,
349
00:15:15,341 --> 00:15:18,799
it will turn the baby
into a trans-gander.
350
00:15:18,882 --> 00:15:21,258
[exhales sharply]
351
00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:24,133
The local Berkeley Antifa
352
00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:26,757
will mass-produce
this diaper
353
00:15:26,841 --> 00:15:30,841
and put it into
every Republican store.
354
00:15:30,924 --> 00:15:32,300
That's genocide.
355
00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:36,008
The local Berkeley
Antifa cell...
Yes.
356
00:15:36,091 --> 00:15:39,841
...are expecting to meet
these two radical lesbians.
357
00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:41,174
Uh-huh.
358
00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:42,841
Nobody is going to
come here.
359
00:15:42,924 --> 00:15:44,799
-You know why?
-Why?
360
00:15:44,882 --> 00:15:47,882
Because they missed
their flight, somehow.
361
00:15:47,966 --> 00:15:49,216
[laughing evilly]
362
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,383
Oh, oh! Oh, okay.
363
00:15:51,466 --> 00:15:56,757
[laughing]
364
00:15:56,841 --> 00:15:58,924
Yeah, that's good.
That's good. That's good.
365
00:15:59,008 --> 00:16:00,924
-[laughing]
-Mm-hmm, that's good.
366
00:16:01,008 --> 00:16:02,341
Mm-hmm.
367
00:16:02,425 --> 00:16:07,008
[laughing]
368
00:16:09,882 --> 00:16:15,341
This give us the opportunity
to go under the covers.
369
00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:17,466
You will play
Dr. Deborah Levine.
370
00:16:17,550 --> 00:16:18,799
Oh.
371
00:16:18,882 --> 00:16:23,049
She is the genius who
have created this hormone.
372
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:24,550
Mm-hmm.
373
00:16:24,632 --> 00:16:25,882
I will be playing
374
00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:29,799
Dr. Levine's partner
of 12 years, Sandra.
375
00:16:29,882 --> 00:16:31,174
Okay.
376
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:36,341
???
377
00:16:36,425 --> 00:16:41,425
???
378
00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:44,133
My name is
Dr. Deborah Levine.
379
00:16:44,216 --> 00:16:46,757
And Sandra.
We are lesbians.
380
00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:48,966
We have -- I know.
I could tell. Sorry.
Oh, good, good.
381
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,216
I didn't mean to be judgy.
382
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,133
We will, number one,
383
00:16:53,216 --> 00:16:56,049
convince them that
we are radical lesbians
384
00:16:56,133 --> 00:16:58,924
using everything
that I taught you.
385
00:16:59,008 --> 00:17:00,550
Hmm.
386
00:17:00,632 --> 00:17:02,841
So, we were going to drive
with our Nissan Leaf,
387
00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:05,799
which has, uh,
the tire pressure.
388
00:17:05,882 --> 00:17:10,466
Oh, yeah. 35 to 36 pounds
per square inch.
389
00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:14,632
So, uh, do you like
Girls, the TV show?
390
00:17:14,716 --> 00:17:15,757
-No.
-Oh.
391
00:17:15,841 --> 00:17:17,466
Uh, we love it.
392
00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:19,174
Our favorite episode
is, uh --
393
00:17:19,258 --> 00:17:21,924
Oh. Well, you told me yours,
but I kind of disagree,
394
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,091
'cause I like season two,
episode three.
395
00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:25,882
Oh, yes.
396
00:17:25,966 --> 00:17:28,674
Yeah. That's where, uh,
Hannah met her down--
397
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,716
finally met her
downstairs neighbor.
398
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,341
-Laird. And, uh --
-Yeah, Laird.
399
00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:37,008
And he had a friend that he
introduced to, uh, Marnie.
400
00:17:37,091 --> 00:17:38,924
He takes her
up to the studio.
401
00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:40,216
I guess they hit it off
pretty good, because --
402
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:41,716
[laughs] Yes.
403
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:45,008
To know if they are
the members of the cell,
404
00:17:45,091 --> 00:17:48,300
we will say this phrase --
it is a code word --
405
00:17:48,383 --> 00:17:50,674
"I'm not wearing
any panties."
406
00:17:50,757 --> 00:17:52,258
"I'm not wearing
any panties."
407
00:17:52,341 --> 00:17:54,174
-Understood?
-Yes.
408
00:17:54,258 --> 00:17:55,716
-The code word.
-Yeah.
409
00:17:55,799 --> 00:17:56,924
Okay. All right.
410
00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:59,258
You know, I'm not
wearing any panties.
411
00:17:59,341 --> 00:18:00,632
Oh, this is
San Francisco, man.
Yeah.
412
00:18:00,716 --> 00:18:02,258
Half the people here
aren't wearing them.
413
00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:03,757
-Sure.
-That's right. All right.
414
00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:07,091
After we have convinced them
that we are radical lesbians,
415
00:18:07,174 --> 00:18:12,133
we will put a tracking
device on their back.
416
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,133
This is the
tracking device.
417
00:18:15,216 --> 00:18:17,049
-Understood?
-Yes.
418
00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:19,632
???
419
00:18:19,716 --> 00:18:20,966
Excuse me, buddy.
How'd you say --
420
00:18:21,049 --> 00:18:22,632
How'd you say
you walked up there?
Huh?
421
00:18:22,716 --> 00:18:24,133
How'd you say
you walked up there?
422
00:18:24,216 --> 00:18:25,966
Just use your eyes.
Right there in the front.
423
00:18:26,049 --> 00:18:27,674
Right there where
people are speaking.
424
00:18:27,757 --> 00:18:28,716
-Thank you.
-Come on, dear.
425
00:18:28,799 --> 00:18:30,049
You want me to tag her?
426
00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:34,258
???
427
00:18:34,341 --> 00:18:35,924
I want to tell you
something, all right?
428
00:18:36,008 --> 00:18:37,508
-Yes.
-You did brilliantly, amazing.
429
00:18:37,591 --> 00:18:39,508
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Now, listen.
430
00:18:39,591 --> 00:18:42,091
This is the app that
allow us to track them.
431
00:18:42,174 --> 00:18:43,757
-Uh-huh.
-What you don't know
432
00:18:43,841 --> 00:18:46,924
is in the transmitter
that we put on their back,
433
00:18:47,008 --> 00:18:49,133
there is a small
explosive device.
434
00:18:49,216 --> 00:18:50,383
Okay.
435
00:18:50,466 --> 00:18:52,757
-Small enough to...
-To disable them?
436
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:55,674
...to create
a fatal heart attack.
437
00:18:55,757 --> 00:18:59,258
This is the location of the
young man in the dark jacket.
438
00:18:59,341 --> 00:19:00,882
-Yeah.
-Okay, you know the one?
439
00:19:00,966 --> 00:19:02,383
-Yes.
-The real liberal?
440
00:19:02,466 --> 00:19:04,008
-Yes.
-He got it coming to him.
441
00:19:04,091 --> 00:19:06,174
-Yes.
-So just press the two fingers.
442
00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:10,133
It will detonate the
explosive on his back.
443
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,924
Press.
444
00:19:12,008 --> 00:19:16,049
???
445
00:19:16,133 --> 00:19:17,924
[buzz]
446
00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:21,841
Congratulation.
You are hero.
447
00:19:21,924 --> 00:19:24,966
You foiled the terror plot.
I hope.
448
00:19:25,049 --> 00:19:28,550
I've never, uh, participated
in someone's death.
449
00:19:28,632 --> 00:19:30,216
-Really?
-Well --
450
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:31,924
But you are so good at it.
You are a natural.
451
00:19:32,008 --> 00:19:33,799
-I feel a little queasy.
-Don't worry.
452
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,174
Can we move around
a little bit?
453
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:38,216
Yeah, sure. Let's walk around.
Let's go in the march.
454
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:42,341
And if we come across the
corpse, just walk past him.
455
00:19:42,425 --> 00:19:44,757
You know, I've really had a
fantastic time. You know --
456
00:19:44,841 --> 00:19:47,508
It's been a wonderful
experience for me.
457
00:19:47,591 --> 00:19:49,466
It's really just been
such a wonderful day,
458
00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:50,632
beautiful weather.
459
00:19:50,716 --> 00:19:53,008
-It is.
-Look at the people here.
460
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:54,882
They are the lowest
of the low.
461
00:19:54,966 --> 00:19:57,383
I agree. I've never
seen so much sickness.
462
00:19:57,466 --> 00:19:58,924
-Is your hand on my ass?
-Yes.
463
00:19:59,008 --> 00:20:00,716
-Oh, good. For the cover.
-Yeah.
464
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,674
What did you think
of these people
465
00:20:02,757 --> 00:20:03,882
that we were
surrounded by?
466
00:20:03,966 --> 00:20:06,425
-Crazies. Crazy.
-They are crazy.
467
00:20:06,508 --> 00:20:08,799
The terrifying thing
about these liberals
468
00:20:08,882 --> 00:20:10,799
is how easy it is
469
00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:13,383
to radicalize them and
turn them into killers.
470
00:20:13,466 --> 00:20:15,091
Yes.
Well, they're little lambs.
471
00:20:15,174 --> 00:20:17,133
I'd be the butcher
before I'd be the sheep.
472
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,966
The interesting thing
about today
473
00:20:19,049 --> 00:20:21,133
is it felt like it
started off as an act,
474
00:20:21,216 --> 00:20:23,133
me and you
as a lesbian couple.
Yes.
475
00:20:23,216 --> 00:20:24,841
-By the end, it felt real...
-It did.
476
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,466
...like there was
a connection.
477
00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,091
Right.
A lot of people bought it.
478
00:20:28,174 --> 00:20:30,508
There was a woman
who said, uh --
479
00:20:30,591 --> 00:20:32,757
We said we are lesbian, and
she said, "Yeah, obviously."
480
00:20:32,841 --> 00:20:34,674
-Yes, uh-huh. Right.
-Did you kill her or not?
481
00:20:34,757 --> 00:20:36,508
I can't remember.
482
00:20:36,591 --> 00:20:39,258
Uh, she was the, uh --
483
00:20:39,341 --> 00:20:41,757
Was she the long-haired,
short, heavy one?
484
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:45,716
No, a -- an older one.
Did you blow her up or not?
485
00:20:45,799 --> 00:20:47,632
I can't remember now.
486
00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:51,091
We worked hard.
Now let's celebrate.
487
00:20:51,174 --> 00:20:52,799
Laird? I'm not
asking for anything.
488
00:20:52,882 --> 00:20:54,466
That guy looks like
he has leprosy.
489
00:20:54,550 --> 00:20:55,882
[both laugh]
490
00:20:55,966 --> 00:20:57,091
-Good one.
-Uh-huh.
491
00:20:57,174 --> 00:20:59,300
-Very good-quality writing.
-Yes.
492
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,924
-Mind if I put the arm over?
-No, go ahead.
493
00:21:01,008 --> 00:21:03,591
-Just in case somebody walk in.
-Uh-huh.
494
00:21:03,674 --> 00:21:05,841
Do you happen to know where I
can procure some cocaine today?
495
00:21:05,924 --> 00:21:09,924
So, um, have you had time
to think about maybe,
496
00:21:10,008 --> 00:21:11,841
uh, moving to
Israel and --
497
00:21:11,924 --> 00:21:13,632
It's a confusing thought
for me right now.
498
00:21:13,716 --> 00:21:15,882
I have not thought it
completely through.
499
00:21:15,966 --> 00:21:18,550
What, you have not thought
moving to Israel -- in with me?
500
00:21:18,632 --> 00:21:20,049
Yes. Yeah.
501
00:21:20,133 --> 00:21:22,133
It's a confusing thought,
just leaving my family.
502
00:21:22,216 --> 00:21:26,799
Sure. I mean, I-I would probably
leave my wife for you.
503
00:21:26,882 --> 00:21:28,841
Well, listen.
You did, uh, great.
504
00:21:28,924 --> 00:21:30,550
I appreciate it.
I appreciate it.
505
00:21:30,632 --> 00:21:32,383
Until the next time.
506
00:21:32,466 --> 00:21:33,924
You come back around,
look me up.
507
00:21:34,008 --> 00:21:36,133
-Thank you. Kiss or no?
-No.
508
00:21:36,216 --> 00:21:39,258
[man chanting
in native language]
509
00:21:48,757 --> 00:21:51,383
???
510
00:21:51,466 --> 00:21:53,508
[woman speaking Italian]
511
00:21:53,591 --> 00:21:55,716
[tape rewinding]
512
00:21:55,799 --> 00:21:58,383
[woman speaking Italian]
513
00:21:58,466 --> 00:22:04,300
???
514
00:22:04,383 --> 00:22:05,466
To good friends.
515
00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:07,008
To good friends.
Hopefully, new friends.
516
00:22:07,091 --> 00:22:08,674
-Yeah, I hope so.
-Yeah.
517
00:22:08,757 --> 00:22:09,924
I actually --
You know what?
518
00:22:10,008 --> 00:22:11,508
Let me introduce
my girlfriend,
519
00:22:11,591 --> 00:22:12,924
and then we talk
a little business.
520
00:22:13,008 --> 00:22:15,049
-Okay.
-Uh, Christina?
521
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:16,425
Sit down, sit down.
522
00:22:16,508 --> 00:22:17,716
Very good.
523
00:22:17,799 --> 00:22:20,799
[conversing in Italian]
524
00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:22,591
-Uh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
-Huh?
525
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:24,966
...O.J.
526
00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:29,425
-...O.J.
-O.J.?
527
00:22:29,508 --> 00:22:31,550
[speaking Italian]
Buffalo Billah.
528
00:22:31,632 --> 00:22:32,799
[chuckles]
529
00:22:32,882 --> 00:22:35,174
-Buffalo Billah!
Buffalo Billah!
530
00:22:35,258 --> 00:22:36,300
[speaking Italian]
Buffalo Billah?
531
00:22:36,383 --> 00:22:39,924
Buffalo Billah.
Football, Americano.
532
00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:41,174
[speaking Italian]
533
00:22:41,258 --> 00:22:42,966
I-I played
a long time ago.
534
00:22:43,049 --> 00:22:46,258
O.J. Simpson! Naked Gun.
Uno, due, tre!
535
00:22:46,341 --> 00:22:48,882
[speaking Italian]
..."Naked Gun."
536
00:22:48,966 --> 00:22:50,216
-But it doesn't matter.
-Uhh. I am so embarrassed.
537
00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:52,300
It doesn't matter.
But they're funny movies.
538
00:22:52,383 --> 00:22:55,383
O.J.!
YA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!
539
00:22:55,466 --> 00:22:56,882
[gasps]
540
00:22:56,966 --> 00:23:01,216
-Oh! Mamma mia! O.J.!
-O.J.
541
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:03,216
-[chuckling]
She knows that. Oh, Jesus.
542
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,383
-O.J.! Oh, my God!
-Lord, help me. Help me.
543
00:23:05,466 --> 00:23:07,133
[speaking Italian]
544
00:23:07,216 --> 00:23:10,258
Oh! Mamma mia!
Mwah!
545
00:23:10,341 --> 00:23:11,924
O.J.!
LA-LA-LA-LA!
546
00:23:12,008 --> 00:23:13,882
YA-LA-LA-YA-LA-LA!
OHH-LA-YA-LA-LA!
547
00:23:13,966 --> 00:23:16,008
-So nice to meet you!
-And a pleasure meeting you.
548
00:23:16,091 --> 00:23:17,632
-Okay.
-Oh, my God.
549
00:23:17,716 --> 00:23:18,882
I'm so --
I'm so sorry.
550
00:23:18,966 --> 00:23:22,882
[conversing in Italian]
551
00:23:22,966 --> 00:23:25,133
She saying
you're very handsome.
552
00:23:25,216 --> 00:23:26,341
-Well, thank you.
-It's okay. You can --
553
00:23:26,425 --> 00:23:28,841
-She's gorgeous.
-Yeah, okay. You can enjoy her.
554
00:23:28,924 --> 00:23:31,882
Just don't, uh, don't --
YA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!
555
00:23:31,966 --> 00:23:33,716
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
556
00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:35,466
"No, no, no,
no, no, no."
557
00:23:35,550 --> 00:23:37,924
[conversing in Italian]
558
00:23:38,008 --> 00:23:39,300
We're gonna talk
business now.
559
00:23:39,383 --> 00:23:44,091
[muttering in Italian]
560
00:23:44,174 --> 00:23:45,716
-Gorgeous.
-She's gorgeous.
561
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:47,799
But sometimes
I wanna kill her, you know?
562
00:23:47,882 --> 00:23:50,216
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
563
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:52,550
I wanna send her on
a private helicopter tour
564
00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:53,799
over the Grand Canyon.
565
00:23:53,882 --> 00:23:55,425
-Whoopsie-daisy!
-Oopsie-daisy.
566
00:23:55,508 --> 00:23:56,841
Oopsie-daisy.
BA-BA-BA!
567
00:23:56,924 --> 00:23:59,716
[chuckling ]
Stop. Stop.
568
00:23:59,799 --> 00:24:01,383
No, no, no.
569
00:24:01,466 --> 00:24:03,716
Maybe I send her on a
bungee jump, you know, where --
570
00:24:03,799 --> 00:24:05,882
Oh, the cord!
BA-HA-HA-HA!
571
00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:08,258
Cord -- Cord extra-long?
572
00:24:08,341 --> 00:24:10,133
-Cord extra-long. Oh! Bang!
-"Oh, it was too long."
573
00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:13,508
Oh, hey, hey, hey,
how was I to know
574
00:24:13,591 --> 00:24:15,300
that it was
extra-elasticated?
575
00:24:15,383 --> 00:24:18,425
[both chuckling ]
576
00:24:18,508 --> 00:24:21,425
No, but I've been --
I've been very unlucky in love.
577
00:24:21,508 --> 00:24:23,341
My ex-wife --
578
00:24:23,425 --> 00:24:25,632
You seem lucky in love
to me.
579
00:24:25,716 --> 00:24:27,841
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
But I don't love her.
580
00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:30,882
Sometimes she -- Sometimes
I want to completely kill her.
581
00:24:30,966 --> 00:24:33,091
Stop!
[chuckling] Stop.
582
00:24:33,174 --> 00:24:35,425
If I do, you introduce me
to Cochran.
583
00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:36,841
Yeah. Johnnie.
584
00:24:36,924 --> 00:24:39,049
Well, I would have to introduce
you in the afterlife.
585
00:24:39,133 --> 00:24:41,049
What, you didn't
kill him, too, did you?
586
00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:43,841
Stop, man!
Jesus Christ, man!
587
00:24:43,924 --> 00:24:45,216
[both laughing]
Listen.
588
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:47,591
My business partner
is Sheikh Mansour...
589
00:24:47,674 --> 00:24:50,341
Yeah.
He wants a one-on-one
just with you and him.
590
00:24:50,425 --> 00:24:54,091
And he's obsessed about
591
00:24:54,174 --> 00:24:58,049
what happened the night
with the wife.
592
00:24:58,133 --> 00:25:00,258
-Yeah.
-And he wants you to tell him.
593
00:25:00,341 --> 00:25:02,591
-What wife?
-The one you shot.
594
00:25:02,674 --> 00:25:04,882
Well, first of all,
she wasn't my wife.
Oh.
595
00:25:04,966 --> 00:25:06,550
We had been divorced and
separated for two years.
596
00:25:06,632 --> 00:25:08,133
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.
597
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:09,508
-Except that I didn't do it.
-I didn't know.
598
00:25:09,632 --> 00:25:10,966
Well, if he's obsessed,
hey, look.
599
00:25:11,049 --> 00:25:13,716
We want you to be 100% truthful
how you got away with it.
600
00:25:13,799 --> 00:25:15,632
-That's what he wants to know.
-Hey! Hey, hey.
601
00:25:15,716 --> 00:25:18,174
-I didn't get away with nothing.
-Yeah, yeah, I didn't get away
602
00:25:18,258 --> 00:25:19,550
with anything
with my wife, either.
603
00:25:19,632 --> 00:25:21,966
She committed suicide.
[laughs]
604
00:25:22,049 --> 00:25:24,091
-Look. Stop.
-She got depressed,
605
00:25:24,174 --> 00:25:26,674
and she put herself
into a bagful of rocks
606
00:25:26,757 --> 00:25:29,300
and then managed to
drag herself into the sea.
607
00:25:31,008 --> 00:25:34,091
And you weren't charged,
so good for you.
608
00:25:34,174 --> 00:25:36,300
Me and you,
we got something in common.
609
00:25:36,383 --> 00:25:38,966
We both, uh, how you say --
lady killers.
610
00:25:39,049 --> 00:25:40,799
You know, it's not
what it sounds like.
611
00:25:40,882 --> 00:25:43,174
In Italian,
it translates to, uh,
612
00:25:43,258 --> 00:25:46,216
somebody who,
uh, murders women.
613
00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:47,550
[laughs]
No, I didn't kill nobody.
614
00:25:47,632 --> 00:25:49,674
Oh, I didn't, either!
I didn't, either!
615
00:25:49,757 --> 00:25:52,757
[both chuckling]
616
00:25:52,841 --> 00:25:55,049
What I hate about the press is
you make one tiny, little slip,
617
00:25:55,133 --> 00:25:57,383
and that's all
they remember you for.
618
00:25:57,466 --> 00:25:59,341
Yeah.
You're not
the O.J. the touchdown.
619
00:25:59,425 --> 00:26:01,508
You're not the O.J.
the movie star.
Yeah.
620
00:26:01,591 --> 00:26:03,216
You kill, uh,
two silly people,
621
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:05,300
and suddenly, you are
O.J. the murderer.
622
00:26:05,383 --> 00:26:06,591
Stop. Stop.
623
00:26:06,674 --> 00:26:08,550
You wanna have --
You wanna have some cheese?
624
00:26:08,632 --> 00:26:11,383
-No, I'm fine.
-Should I hide the knives?
625
00:26:11,466 --> 00:26:13,466
Hide the knives!
O.J. is in town!
626
00:26:13,550 --> 00:26:14,841
No, no.
627
00:26:16,841 --> 00:26:19,966
[man chanting
in native language]
628
00:26:20,049 --> 00:26:23,508
[group chanting
in native language]
629
00:26:23,591 --> 00:26:28,341
???
630
00:26:28,425 --> 00:26:33,216
???
631
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:38,008
???
632
00:26:38,091 --> 00:26:42,799
???
633
00:26:42,882 --> 00:26:47,632
???
634
00:26:47,716 --> 00:26:52,674
???
635
00:26:52,757 --> 00:26:57,466
???
636
00:26:57,550 --> 00:27:02,300
???
637
00:27:02,383 --> 00:27:07,049
???
638
00:27:07,133 --> 00:27:11,882
???
639
00:27:11,966 --> 00:27:16,757
???
640
00:27:16,841 --> 00:27:21,799
???
641
00:27:21,882 --> 00:27:23,841
"Uhh, I don't know
what I said. Uhh!"
642
00:27:23,924 --> 00:27:25,591
???
46769
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