All language subtitles for Veep.S05E08.HDTV.x264-KILLERS

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,085 --> 00:00:16,991 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:17,077 --> 00:00:19,143 - Take the apple, Mrs. Sherman! 3 00:00:19,246 --> 00:00:21,714 - Reach out and take it. Take the apple. - Mr. Ryan. 4 00:00:21,816 --> 00:00:23,521 Mr. Ryan, would you please step back to your podium? 5 00:00:23,546 --> 00:00:24,607 She wouldn't take the apple. 6 00:00:24,685 --> 00:00:29,121 Which one of you Johnny Appledick shit for brains came up with that bit? 7 00:00:29,223 --> 00:00:32,358 Hi, ma'am, I just arrived here in Winter Blunderland. 8 00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:35,594 He looked like Ike Turner handing Tina a snack. 9 00:00:35,696 --> 00:00:37,396 I think we've identified the key problem, 10 00:00:37,498 --> 00:00:39,698 which is that Jonah does not interact well with humans. 11 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,501 No, I don't interact well with hag-ass old bitches. 12 00:00:42,603 --> 00:00:45,871 Do you realize that you just handed O'Brien New Hampshire 13 00:00:45,973 --> 00:00:48,774 chained to a radiator with its twat shaved? 14 00:00:48,876 --> 00:00:50,876 - I'm hanging up! - I'm sorry, Mom. 15 00:00:50,978 --> 00:00:52,778 You know what? On the positive side, 16 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,448 now I can just try and concentrate on our little family weekend. 17 00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:59,451 - Just us Meyers. - Well, then why is Gary here? 18 00:00:59,553 --> 00:01:02,354 - I mean, no offense. - Gary's family, too. 19 00:01:02,456 --> 00:01:03,231 Oh, thank you. 20 00:01:03,256 --> 00:01:05,581 I'm just really excited to have this time 21 00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:09,161 for you and Dad and Monny to get to know the real Marjorie. 22 00:01:09,263 --> 00:01:12,164 I mean, fun Marjorie, not just Marjorie the Secret Service agent. 23 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:15,134 Oh, I'm excited to get to know fun Marjorie, too. 24 00:01:15,236 --> 00:01:16,802 When is she arriving? 25 00:01:19,507 --> 00:01:22,341 I'm just kidding. I'm just teasing. 26 00:01:23,878 --> 00:01:26,278 Whoo-hoo-hoo! The president is driving. 27 00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:28,480 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Look out. 28 00:01:28,582 --> 00:01:31,016 Bump. How about that? 29 00:01:31,118 --> 00:01:33,485 - Look! - Dad! Monny! 30 00:01:33,587 --> 00:01:34,404 Kitty Cat! 31 00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:36,879 All right, so the Chinese are gonna be here any minute. 32 00:01:36,957 --> 00:01:39,658 - Yeah. - Beijing has demanded complete secrecy. 33 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,395 So you're gonna have to keep Charles Ponzi and pussyride away from me. 34 00:01:43,497 --> 00:01:45,764 We Meyers are very resourceful. 35 00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:48,834 You do know you're not really a member of my family, right? 36 00:01:48,936 --> 00:01:50,069 - I do. - Right. 37 00:01:51,272 --> 00:01:52,771 What is that insanity 38 00:01:52,873 --> 00:01:54,506 you're putting all over the tree, Monica? 39 00:01:54,608 --> 00:01:58,577 Oh, this is my homemade cranberry and popcorn tinsel 40 00:01:58,679 --> 00:02:00,879 - that I like to call... - Popcornaments! 41 00:02:00,981 --> 00:02:02,748 Someone's been reading my blog. 42 00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:04,783 I just trademarked the word last week. 43 00:02:04,885 --> 00:02:07,252 It sounds delicious and it's adorable. 44 00:02:07,354 --> 00:02:08,654 So I'm gonna call it delorable. 45 00:02:08,756 --> 00:02:10,122 See? We can all do it. 46 00:02:10,224 --> 00:02:11,457 - Hey, Mom. - Yes? 47 00:02:11,559 --> 00:02:13,125 I just wanted to let you know that Marjorie 48 00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,627 is a raw food vegan and she's turned me into one. 49 00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:18,163 Oh, so that's two things she's turned you into. 50 00:02:18,265 --> 00:02:22,301 Yeah, we just thought maybe we could have, like, a sham ham for Christmas. 51 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,470 What is that, sweetie? Is that like tofurkey? 52 00:02:24,572 --> 00:02:26,238 No, ma'am, tofurkey is cooked. 53 00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:29,174 This is a raw log made of mushrooms and soaked walnuts. 54 00:02:29,276 --> 00:02:30,509 But it tastes like a ham? 55 00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:31,944 - Yeah, it's close. - Not at all. 56 00:02:32,046 --> 00:02:33,846 We could all cut back on our meat consum... 57 00:02:33,948 --> 00:02:35,781 I'm terribly sorry, Marjorie. 58 00:02:35,883 --> 00:02:37,683 - I thought you were Selina. - That's okay, sir. 59 00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:39,017 People make that mistake constantly. 60 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,186 How about you touch neither of us? 61 00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:44,356 Okay, I'm gonna go check on that funky food order and... 62 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:47,893 Mom, I wanted to ask you about something, but I can just talk to Dad about it. 63 00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:49,261 He's better with money stuff. 64 00:02:49,363 --> 00:02:51,029 What money stuff? 65 00:02:51,132 --> 00:02:53,499 Well, it's just that there's so much of it 66 00:02:53,601 --> 00:02:55,334 that it's really tough to know what to do with it. 67 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,469 Uncle George was saying that maybe I should sell the Palm Beach house 68 00:02:57,571 --> 00:02:59,238 so that I could pay off the estate taxes. 69 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:03,242 Palm Beach house, honey? That was my daddy's favorite house. 70 00:03:03,344 --> 00:03:06,478 Actually, Lee, right now is a fantastic time to sell. 71 00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:09,581 And, Catherine, do you remember that Brazil hotel chain? 72 00:03:09,683 --> 00:03:11,283 - What? - I told them about your veganism 73 00:03:11,385 --> 00:03:14,253 and they decided to convert the whole thing to an eco resort. 74 00:03:14,355 --> 00:03:16,989 - No, they didn't. - I have a prospectus in my briefcase. 75 00:03:17,091 --> 00:03:19,892 I'll tell you what. I think we should not talk about money 76 00:03:19,994 --> 00:03:23,061 during our sort of pre-Christmas Christmas celebration. 77 00:03:23,164 --> 00:03:26,365 Catherine and Marjorie, can you gals go outside 78 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,534 and get some wood to start a fire? 79 00:03:28,636 --> 00:03:31,470 Ma'am, your daughter's dazzling eyes can start a fire themselves. 80 00:03:31,572 --> 00:03:33,138 Okay, well, that's terrifying, 81 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,607 but I actually do think we need to get some wood from outside. 82 00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:38,477 - Yes, ma'am. - Thanks. Gary, we got to go. 83 00:03:38,579 --> 00:03:41,213 Okay, are the Chinese here yet? 84 00:03:41,315 --> 00:03:43,015 Delayed on the road, ma'am. 85 00:03:43,117 --> 00:03:45,317 Presumably driving slowly and not using their signals. 86 00:03:45,419 --> 00:03:47,519 Hey, any updates on Debralee's sonogram? 87 00:03:47,621 --> 00:03:49,421 Nothing. I'm going crazy. 88 00:03:49,523 --> 00:03:51,857 What do you got going there, Depravey Crockett? 89 00:03:51,959 --> 00:03:54,359 You can't go in with a plan. The knife tells you. 90 00:03:54,461 --> 00:03:56,061 Okay, so lay it on me, Ben. 91 00:03:56,163 --> 00:03:57,563 It's all been prenegotiated, ma'am. 92 00:03:57,665 --> 00:03:59,264 In exchange for you lifting the sanctions, 93 00:03:59,366 --> 00:04:01,900 China's agreed to build an electronics plant in Ohio 94 00:04:02,002 --> 00:04:04,336 and an engine assembly plant in North Carolina. 95 00:04:04,438 --> 00:04:06,071 Okay, so we got North Carolina, Ohio. 96 00:04:06,173 --> 00:04:07,239 That's the presidency for me. 97 00:04:07,341 --> 00:04:08,974 And as per usual, we raised the issue 98 00:04:09,076 --> 00:04:11,810 of the Dalai Lama and the Panchen Lama returning to Tibet. 99 00:04:11,912 --> 00:04:14,546 - Dalai Lama, I'm so sick of him. - He's insufferable. 100 00:04:14,648 --> 00:04:16,615 Do we have a press release ready to go, Mike? 101 00:04:16,717 --> 00:04:18,150 All I got to do is press send and we... 102 00:04:18,252 --> 00:04:20,319 actually, I do need to spell-check this thing. 103 00:04:20,421 --> 00:04:22,754 Ma'am, Minna Häkkinen is through security and headed this way. 104 00:04:22,857 --> 00:04:26,692 How is it that that Asperger salad inserted herself into this situation? 105 00:04:26,794 --> 00:04:29,094 President Lu trusts her. Likes what she did with the IMF. 106 00:04:29,196 --> 00:04:31,463 No, I'll tell you what he likes. Nordic beav. 107 00:04:31,565 --> 00:04:33,298 Irresistible. Ooh! 108 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,933 - Shh. - What? 109 00:04:35,035 --> 00:04:37,135 - Oh, Minna! - Selina. 110 00:04:37,238 --> 00:04:39,238 - Hello. - Hello. I have not seen you 111 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,540 since you failed to vote for me to be head of the IMF. 112 00:04:41,642 --> 00:04:43,375 And, oh, you changed your hair. 113 00:04:43,477 --> 00:04:44,943 Thank you, yes. I have more highlights. 114 00:04:45,045 --> 00:04:48,981 And you changed your eyelids. You had oculoplasty. 115 00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:50,883 - Um... - You look more alert. 116 00:04:50,985 --> 00:04:52,384 Yeah... 117 00:04:52,486 --> 00:04:54,419 Well, the latest poll numbers are in 118 00:04:54,521 --> 00:04:56,722 and you've fallen 20 points behind the Widow Sherman. 119 00:04:56,824 --> 00:04:59,024 We have to keep you away from people. 120 00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:02,728 Yeah, surround you with some trees. Make you look human-sized. 121 00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:05,530 Yeah, back to the natural habitat your nitwit mother 122 00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:08,567 found you in, you fucking shaved Sasquatch. 123 00:05:08,669 --> 00:05:12,137 But the good news is that you're only three points behind Jon H Ryan, whoever that is. 124 00:05:12,239 --> 00:05:15,674 Hey, Slick. What's Blondie's situation? 125 00:05:15,776 --> 00:05:18,510 Does she choke for Coke? 126 00:05:18,612 --> 00:05:20,312 You should ask her. 127 00:05:20,414 --> 00:05:21,446 Yeah. 128 00:05:21,548 --> 00:05:23,482 It's been a very hard year. 129 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,550 The menopause has really taken a hold of me. 130 00:05:25,653 --> 00:05:29,187 - Is that so? Yeah. - Yes. You know... you're menopausal. 131 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:31,456 - What? - You're menopausal as well. 132 00:05:31,558 --> 00:05:32,858 - No, I'm not. - Well... 133 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,526 - No? - What? 134 00:05:34,628 --> 00:05:35,961 No, you are. 135 00:05:36,063 --> 00:05:37,896 No, you're older than me, so I... 136 00:05:37,998 --> 00:05:40,098 No, I am actually two years younger. 137 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,000 Oh, I still have regular periods, 138 00:05:42,102 --> 00:05:43,936 but my joints, they're very swollen. 139 00:05:44,038 --> 00:05:45,904 You know, I wonder if we can just get back to the Chinese. 140 00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:49,841 The Chinese may try to change the terms of the done deal. 141 00:05:49,944 --> 00:05:51,109 - Really? - Yes. 142 00:05:51,211 --> 00:05:52,511 - But if they do this... - Yeah? 143 00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,913 ...you are simply ready to perform the walkout 144 00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:56,915 to convince the Chinese that you will not negotiate 145 00:05:57,017 --> 00:05:58,717 if the terms of the deal are not satisfactory. 146 00:05:58,819 --> 00:06:00,786 - Okay. - You say the terms are unacceptable 147 00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:03,288 and you take both your palms and you place them 148 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,090 firmly on the table like that. 149 00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,592 - Oh, God. - Then you walk out. 150 00:06:07,695 --> 00:06:10,329 And then someone must say this is unprecedented. 151 00:06:10,431 --> 00:06:12,230 - She never does this. - Ben can do that. 152 00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:15,000 - Who, me? - It is much harder than it sounds. 153 00:06:15,102 --> 00:06:16,969 - Perhaps we should rehearse? - Absolutely. 154 00:06:17,071 --> 00:06:19,237 So this is unacceptable. 155 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,673 And then, uh, I walk out. 156 00:06:21,775 --> 00:06:24,509 No, that is not credible. You try again. 157 00:06:24,611 --> 00:06:27,045 - This is unacceptable. - Mm-hmm. 158 00:06:27,147 --> 00:06:29,581 No, you see, that's the same, but it's just louder. 159 00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:30,646 She never does this. 160 00:06:30,671 --> 00:06:33,175 Oh, no, that is good. Now, that is convincing. 161 00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:35,053 - Hey, girlies. - Mom. 162 00:06:35,155 --> 00:06:37,155 - Yes, honey? - I want you to open your gift. 163 00:06:37,257 --> 00:06:39,725 Since technically it's early Christmas Eve, I got you something. 164 00:06:39,827 --> 00:06:41,693 What have we got here? 165 00:06:44,198 --> 00:06:45,082 Oh. 166 00:06:45,107 --> 00:06:47,757 It was used in 1907 at the Second Hague Convention. 167 00:06:47,835 --> 00:06:50,769 And I figured you could use it to sign important peace treaties 168 00:06:50,871 --> 00:06:52,337 when you're officially elected. 169 00:06:52,439 --> 00:06:54,439 It's actually lovely, Catherine. 170 00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:57,909 Amex gave me this crazy new card that's made out of black metal. 171 00:06:58,012 --> 00:07:00,912 It truly shows the special 172 00:07:01,015 --> 00:07:03,749 mommy-daughter bond that you and I share. 173 00:07:05,452 --> 00:07:07,219 - So good. - I have an idea. 174 00:07:07,321 --> 00:07:10,255 Marjorie, why don't you open my gift? 175 00:07:10,357 --> 00:07:12,224 Oh, you got Marjorie a gift. 176 00:07:12,326 --> 00:07:15,127 Marjorie's part of the family now, aren't you, pal? 177 00:07:15,229 --> 00:07:18,463 Yeah, I got Marjorie a gift, too. Um, right, Gary? 178 00:07:18,565 --> 00:07:19,831 - Yeah. - Yeah. 179 00:07:19,933 --> 00:07:21,400 - It's beautiful. - Stuck in security. 180 00:07:21,502 --> 00:07:23,735 Stuck in security. I don't know how that happened. 181 00:07:23,837 --> 00:07:26,138 - I got the tracking number. - Okay. Let's see what you got. 182 00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:30,909 Ah, it's an old book. 183 00:07:31,011 --> 00:07:34,046 - Do you like it? - I am overcome with emotion. 184 00:07:34,148 --> 00:07:35,814 Oh, my God. 185 00:07:35,916 --> 00:07:38,583 It's a first edition Gertrude Stein. 186 00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:39,851 That's Marjorie's favorite poet. 187 00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:41,720 How did you know that, Dad? 188 00:07:41,822 --> 00:07:42,364 I listen. 189 00:07:42,389 --> 00:07:44,013 I'm going to put this someplace special. 190 00:07:44,091 --> 00:07:45,457 - Hey. - Hi. 191 00:07:45,559 --> 00:07:48,060 I noticed two golf carts filled with Asian people. 192 00:07:48,162 --> 00:07:52,898 - Yeah, we should go. - That's the kitchen crew and the chef. 193 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,966 - They wear really nice suits. - Yeah. 194 00:07:55,069 --> 00:07:57,345 Okay, I want to go find Marjorie's gift. 195 00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:58,127 Me, too. 196 00:07:58,205 --> 00:08:00,259 So, I will make the introductions. 197 00:08:00,284 --> 00:08:01,030 Yeah. 198 00:08:01,108 --> 00:08:03,175 - You're wearing that? - What? 199 00:08:03,277 --> 00:08:08,613 Yeah. Oh. 200 00:08:10,217 --> 00:08:13,685 This is President Lu Chi-Jang... 201 00:08:13,787 --> 00:08:15,386 Secretary General of the Communist Party... 202 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,645 Studied chemical engineering. 203 00:08:16,723 --> 00:08:18,690 He's currently on his second wife, he enjoys tennis. 204 00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:20,659 ...paramount leader of the People's Republic of China. 205 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,594 - This is Zhang Shengxi. - He collects art. 206 00:08:22,696 --> 00:08:25,030 - Premier of the State Council. - His son is a freshman at Georgetown. 207 00:08:25,132 --> 00:08:26,587 This is Xao Jintong, 1st Rank Vice Premier... 208 00:08:26,612 --> 00:08:27,623 London School of Economics. 209 00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:31,369 He enjoys fly fishing and his favorite snack is freeze-dried strawberries. 210 00:08:31,472 --> 00:08:34,272 Thank you. I didn't get any of that except strawberries. 211 00:08:34,374 --> 00:08:36,575 - Okay. - ...the exchanging of gifts. 212 00:08:36,677 --> 00:08:38,977 This is a depiction of the most popular 213 00:08:39,079 --> 00:08:41,980 children's cartoon character in China, Sad Piglet. 214 00:08:42,082 --> 00:08:44,249 It looks just like my daughter Catherine. 215 00:08:44,351 --> 00:08:44,985 Huh? 216 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,909 Your daughter is a beautiful woman 217 00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:48,553 and this is a piglet. 218 00:08:48,655 --> 00:08:51,323 - It's upset. - Oh, no, no, no. I... I love it. 219 00:08:51,425 --> 00:08:54,326 Believe me, if you say SeaWorld to Catherine 220 00:08:54,428 --> 00:08:56,761 you will understand what I'm talking about. 221 00:08:56,864 --> 00:08:59,197 This is just lovely. Thank you very much. 222 00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:00,298 And now our gift. 223 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,167 Oh. 224 00:09:02,269 --> 00:09:04,936 This is a silk robe from the Qing Dynasty. 225 00:09:05,038 --> 00:09:06,972 The dragon symbolizes good fortune. 226 00:09:07,074 --> 00:09:09,307 Your generosity is overwhelming. 227 00:09:09,409 --> 00:09:11,109 - And so... - This is... 228 00:09:11,211 --> 00:09:14,746 Seriously? This is beyond what we imagined. 229 00:09:14,848 --> 00:09:16,581 Or prepared for. 230 00:09:16,683 --> 00:09:19,050 This is a tapestry from Qing Dynasty. 231 00:09:19,153 --> 00:09:21,153 The central image, the peony, 232 00:09:21,255 --> 00:09:24,189 is a symbol of royalty and virtue. 233 00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:28,560 This is exquisite and I really hope that's all. 234 00:09:30,731 --> 00:09:33,398 And now our gifts for you. 235 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,968 This is an American geode, 236 00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:41,740 which symbolizes the solid foundation 237 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:44,576 that we have between our two countries. 238 00:09:44,678 --> 00:09:46,778 And it sparkles like we hope 239 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,148 our conversation will sparkle. 240 00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:52,984 Thank you for this rock. 241 00:09:54,054 --> 00:09:55,353 Oh. 242 00:09:56,924 --> 00:10:00,492 Um, and this wine 243 00:10:00,594 --> 00:10:03,628 from Napa Valley, California. 244 00:10:05,699 --> 00:10:10,001 And this additional wine, also from a local vineyard 245 00:10:10,103 --> 00:10:12,938 in, uh, New Zealand, 246 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,473 which is local to us 247 00:10:15,576 --> 00:10:18,510 and it's also close to Asia, 248 00:10:18,612 --> 00:10:20,278 which makes it local to you 249 00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:22,948 as we are all local friends. 250 00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:25,283 - Thank you. - She's just being polite. 251 00:10:25,385 --> 00:10:28,119 - President Lu does not drink. - Oh, God. 252 00:10:28,222 --> 00:10:32,524 Um, Jang, there's a common saying here in America, 253 00:10:32,626 --> 00:10:34,459 "But wait, there's more." 254 00:10:34,561 --> 00:10:37,395 So I would like to present our final gift to you. 255 00:10:38,865 --> 00:10:42,167 A very meaningful and historic pen 256 00:10:42,269 --> 00:10:47,405 from the Second Hague Conference of 1907. 257 00:10:47,507 --> 00:10:49,541 Gary, the box. 258 00:10:49,643 --> 00:10:51,910 - What? Really? - Yes. 259 00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:57,616 - Oh! - This is a very worthy gift. 260 00:10:57,718 --> 00:11:00,252 - Oh, good. - It is historically significant and apt. 261 00:11:00,354 --> 00:11:02,654 Gold is a very auspicious color for the Chinese. 262 00:11:02,756 --> 00:11:05,023 - It signifies prosperity and good luck. - Oh, great. 263 00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:08,560 - You have pleased them. - Oh, I'm pleased, then. Great. 264 00:11:08,662 --> 00:11:11,038 And now they are discussing how casually you are dressed. 265 00:11:11,063 --> 00:11:11,854 Hmm? 266 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:15,634 They say you look like a prisoner 267 00:11:15,736 --> 00:11:18,069 or a pirate. 268 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,740 An exercise book. 269 00:11:21,842 --> 00:11:24,276 Why did Menopause not warn us 270 00:11:24,378 --> 00:11:26,344 that the Chinese were going to out gift us like that? 271 00:11:26,446 --> 00:11:28,913 Our intel suggested they hated you. 272 00:11:29,016 --> 00:11:30,682 Ma'am, Dan and Amy for you. 273 00:11:30,784 --> 00:11:31,368 What? 274 00:11:31,393 --> 00:11:33,142 Ma'am, Jonah shot himself in the foot. 275 00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:35,420 Oh, my God. What did he do this time? 276 00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:38,156 No, he literally shot himself in the foot. We're in the ER. 277 00:11:38,258 --> 00:11:40,425 Turn on CNN, ma'am. It's on right now. 278 00:11:40,527 --> 00:11:42,093 Turn on the... 279 00:11:42,195 --> 00:11:45,697 These are the woods where I used to hunt with my stepfather. 280 00:11:45,799 --> 00:11:47,666 And he taught me the proper... 281 00:11:47,768 --> 00:11:49,968 Jesus! 282 00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:51,403 - Oh, my God. - I'm okay. 283 00:11:51,505 --> 00:11:55,307 Oh, my God. 284 00:11:55,409 --> 00:11:58,843 - It's not funny, Ben. - I know, it's terrible. 285 00:11:58,945 --> 00:12:01,346 - A little bit of blood. - You are, it's all over the place. 286 00:12:01,448 --> 00:12:05,350 Jonah shot himself in the eye with a rubber band in second grade. 287 00:12:05,452 --> 00:12:07,786 I tell him now what I told him then... 288 00:12:07,888 --> 00:12:09,387 guns can be dangerous. 289 00:12:09,489 --> 00:12:11,156 We're all praying for his recovery. 290 00:12:11,258 --> 00:12:13,124 So lay it on me. How bad is it? 291 00:12:13,226 --> 00:12:15,527 It's a complicated fracture. Shattered some bone. 292 00:12:15,629 --> 00:12:18,330 - They say it's gonna take... - No, not for him, for me. 293 00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:21,099 Right. Critical condition, but we're not throwing in the... 294 00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:22,701 Okay, I'm not listening to any more of this. 295 00:12:22,803 --> 00:12:24,502 That's New Hampshire for O'Brien. 296 00:12:24,604 --> 00:12:26,905 - We got to have those factories now. - Ni hao. 297 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,374 President Lu requests to go on a nature walk with you. 298 00:12:29,476 --> 00:12:31,142 Well, I'm the president. I don't walk. 299 00:12:31,244 --> 00:12:33,778 He is also the president and he likes to walk. 300 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,280 On a walk? 301 00:12:35,382 --> 00:12:38,149 Camp David is where President Eisenhower came 302 00:12:38,251 --> 00:12:40,452 to recover after his heart attack. 303 00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:43,588 Yeah. 304 00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:45,457 Is he okay? 305 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:49,227 President Eis... he's pass... he's dead. He's long gone. 306 00:12:49,329 --> 00:12:52,664 Now this path was originally used by F.D.R. for his morning strolls. 307 00:12:52,766 --> 00:12:54,232 Or rolls, I should say. 308 00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:55,867 Uh, do you have more gum? 309 00:12:55,969 --> 00:12:57,569 Can I bum a piece of gum? 310 00:12:57,671 --> 00:13:00,071 Uh, may I chew gum with you? 311 00:13:01,408 --> 00:13:04,743 Thank you. Chinese gum, huh? 312 00:13:04,845 --> 00:13:06,845 Pretty cool. Never had it. 313 00:13:09,149 --> 00:13:11,816 Oh, wow. It's got a kick. 314 00:13:11,918 --> 00:13:13,418 Who knew? 315 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,720 Thank... oh, hang on. 316 00:13:15,822 --> 00:13:17,589 I have just the thing. 317 00:13:17,691 --> 00:13:20,525 - Gracias. - Sorry, no, no. Wrong language. 318 00:13:20,627 --> 00:13:22,327 Well, we need to work together 319 00:13:22,429 --> 00:13:24,763 to better engage with North Korea 320 00:13:24,865 --> 00:13:27,932 because the North Koreans are people like us. 321 00:13:28,034 --> 00:13:30,235 Except without any food. 322 00:13:30,337 --> 00:13:32,737 Hi, Mom. Oh, I'm so happy to see you. 323 00:13:32,839 --> 00:13:34,973 - No, no. - Just to be clear, my girlfriend and I 324 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,142 aren't just vegan, we're raw vegan 325 00:13:37,244 --> 00:13:42,180 which means no meat, no dairy, and absolutely nothing cooked at all. 326 00:13:44,151 --> 00:13:46,351 - Thank you. - Okay, good. 327 00:13:46,453 --> 00:13:50,121 Mom, come back soon, okay? Monica's making some nutmeg soy butter. 328 00:13:50,223 --> 00:13:52,791 Oh, how wonderful. Thank you. 329 00:13:52,893 --> 00:13:55,593 Ah, Jang, that was my daughter 330 00:13:55,695 --> 00:13:58,396 and she obviously did not recognize you. 331 00:13:58,498 --> 00:14:03,168 She doesn't understand anything about global politics. 332 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:07,439 My family is here as a cover story. 333 00:14:10,844 --> 00:14:12,977 No, but I didn't... I didn't do that. 334 00:14:13,079 --> 00:14:15,580 I'm not... I didn't make that face. 335 00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:18,716 Shall we carry on this way? 336 00:14:18,819 --> 00:14:21,419 Can you translate "we need to get a new translator"? 337 00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:23,855 - Marvin Gardens. - You want it? 338 00:14:23,957 --> 00:14:26,257 Catherine, can I borrow 200 Monopoly dollars? 339 00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:28,359 Oh, everybody's still awake. 340 00:14:28,462 --> 00:14:29,794 - Hi. - Hi. 341 00:14:29,896 --> 00:14:32,764 Is that Marjorie's gift from security? 342 00:14:34,868 --> 00:14:36,768 Yes. 343 00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:39,771 Ma'am, I mean, you really didn't need to. 344 00:14:39,873 --> 00:14:41,272 Oh. 345 00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:44,909 Ma'am, this is stunning. 346 00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:48,046 Well, it's... it's vintage. 347 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:50,114 Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. 348 00:14:50,217 --> 00:14:53,651 Feels like it was woven out of Catherine's silken hair. Feel this. 349 00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:56,421 - Aw. - I thought you might enjoy something... 350 00:14:56,523 --> 00:14:59,023 - Oh, my God. - ...that was like her hair. 351 00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:01,426 - Thank you. Thank you so much. - Oh, you're welcome. Ow. 352 00:15:01,528 --> 00:15:03,761 Mom, I can't believe that. It's gorgeous. 353 00:15:03,864 --> 00:15:05,630 - I got to go to bed. - It was my turn. 354 00:15:05,732 --> 00:15:07,532 - Good night. - Good night. 355 00:15:07,634 --> 00:15:10,268 You know that's government property, right? 356 00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:13,204 - You just committed a federal crime. - It's real. 357 00:15:17,644 --> 00:15:20,378 - You got to see this. - Jesus, those are your pajamas? 358 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,047 It's the outfit I picture when I'm trying not to come. 359 00:15:23,149 --> 00:15:24,983 - Who's that? - Oh... 360 00:15:25,085 --> 00:15:27,385 Judy Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire, 361 00:15:27,487 --> 00:15:29,153 - but what's her real agenda? - What is this? 362 00:15:29,256 --> 00:15:31,756 You need to be more careful. Guns can be dangerous. 363 00:15:31,858 --> 00:15:33,191 On election day, 364 00:15:33,293 --> 00:15:36,194 tell Judy Sherman you care about freedom. 365 00:15:36,296 --> 00:15:38,463 - What the fuck is going on? - Look, it's everywhere. 366 00:15:38,565 --> 00:15:40,999 ...Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire... 367 00:15:41,101 --> 00:15:43,001 Oh, my God. Hey. 368 00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:48,239 It's the NRA. 369 00:15:48,341 --> 00:15:50,942 It's a Christmas miracle. 370 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,080 All right, well, I'm gonna get back to this, so I'll see you later. 371 00:15:57,684 --> 00:16:00,318 Okay, Kent, best guess, is New Hampshire back in play? 372 00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:03,021 Ma'am, I don't even use the colloquial phrase "I guess." 373 00:16:03,123 --> 00:16:06,257 - Get Dan and Amy right now. - The Chinese are ready. 374 00:16:06,359 --> 00:16:08,259 - She never knocks. - Uh, Minna, 375 00:16:08,361 --> 00:16:10,662 I am right in the middle of something. 376 00:16:10,764 --> 00:16:13,865 Selina, do I need to remind you how sensitive the Chinese are to promptness? 377 00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:16,801 Then why is my wonton soup so cold every time they deliver it? 378 00:16:16,903 --> 00:16:18,202 What? 379 00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:21,439 Minna, I'm the middle of an international emergency. 380 00:16:21,541 --> 00:16:24,309 - Um, it's in the Middle East. - Shh. 381 00:16:24,411 --> 00:16:26,444 It is in Kuwait and that's all I can say. 382 00:16:26,546 --> 00:16:27,679 - Kuwait? - Yes. 383 00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:29,581 That is so strange. 384 00:16:29,683 --> 00:16:32,650 Because Amir Al-Khabat and myself, we follow each other on Instagram. 385 00:16:32,752 --> 00:16:35,753 Only five minutes ago, he posted a picture of his dinner salad. 386 00:16:35,855 --> 00:16:38,256 Ah, well, it happened 387 00:16:38,358 --> 00:16:41,259 right after he had that salad, in fact. 388 00:16:41,361 --> 00:16:44,095 Sort of an intermezzo emergency. 389 00:16:44,197 --> 00:16:46,097 - Oop, I got Dan. - Al-Egan. 390 00:16:46,199 --> 00:16:48,900 Yeah, the ambassador to Kuwait's liaison. 391 00:16:49,002 --> 00:16:52,103 Thank you. As-salaam-alaikum, Dan. 392 00:16:52,205 --> 00:16:54,439 - Okay, I will take them for a walk. - Yeah. 393 00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:55,607 Yeah. Okay. 394 00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:57,575 - Uh-huh. - Thank you. 395 00:16:57,677 --> 00:17:00,011 Okay, so now we love the NRA. 396 00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:06,117 _ 397 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:12,196 _ 398 00:17:14,694 --> 00:17:15,660 Huh? 399 00:17:19,966 --> 00:17:21,766 The Chinese are very upset. 400 00:17:21,868 --> 00:17:23,301 They have changed the terms of the deal. 401 00:17:23,403 --> 00:17:25,670 - What? - The Chinese request the United States 402 00:17:25,772 --> 00:17:29,173 drop its objections to China's claim of the Diaoyu Islands. 403 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,209 How do I put this delicately? 404 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:35,546 The Chinese were very disturbed by a recent incident. 405 00:17:35,649 --> 00:17:36,881 What? What incident? 406 00:17:36,983 --> 00:17:39,283 With your daughter. 407 00:17:39,386 --> 00:17:42,053 Oh, my God. Minna, seriously, 408 00:17:42,155 --> 00:17:44,255 that was a complete honest mistake. 409 00:17:44,357 --> 00:17:45,690 Catherine was just confused. 410 00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:48,826 But you are her mother. You did not stop her. 411 00:17:48,928 --> 00:17:52,096 How could I have stopped her? I had to let her finish. 412 00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:54,198 You're a mother. You've got a son. 413 00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:56,034 I'm sure you've done it before. 414 00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:57,635 - You've been in this position. - No, I have not. 415 00:17:57,737 --> 00:17:59,904 This happens occasionally in Iceland, 416 00:18:00,006 --> 00:18:01,773 but there it's just an accident. 417 00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:03,541 - What? - What? 418 00:18:03,643 --> 00:18:06,511 God, this was their real demand from the beginning. 419 00:18:06,613 --> 00:18:08,880 I mean, those islands didn't come out of nowhere. 420 00:18:08,982 --> 00:18:10,915 Actually, they did. The Chinese created islands 421 00:18:11,017 --> 00:18:12,784 by piling sediment from under the sea... 422 00:18:12,886 --> 00:18:15,153 Madam President, you can't give them these islands. 423 00:18:15,255 --> 00:18:16,854 It'll destabilize the whole region. 424 00:18:16,956 --> 00:18:19,057 Will you please go and talk to Chi-Jang and try... 425 00:18:19,159 --> 00:18:22,093 I will try, but I don't know how much I'm going to be able to get his ear. 426 00:18:22,195 --> 00:18:25,163 But what you're gonna need to do is let him get a word in. 427 00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:29,200 Okay, well, you know what? This reminds me of negotiations between India and Bhutan. 428 00:18:29,302 --> 00:18:31,602 - Okay, this is what I'm talking about. - Bhutan was being stubborn. 429 00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:33,371 So, I've got to go check on my other prom date. 430 00:18:33,473 --> 00:18:34,872 Okay? I just... 431 00:18:34,974 --> 00:18:37,041 - Yes? - I'm sorry, do you know where I can get 432 00:18:37,143 --> 00:18:39,277 any more of this amazing Chinese gum? 433 00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:40,778 It's nicotine gum. 434 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,480 Oh, no. 435 00:18:51,458 --> 00:18:53,524 Well, that does not change the fact 436 00:18:53,626 --> 00:18:58,029 that our friends in Japan still have claims to the Diaoyu Islands. 437 00:18:58,131 --> 00:19:00,631 President Lu says dropping your objections 438 00:19:00,734 --> 00:19:04,135 must be part of any deal. 439 00:19:04,237 --> 00:19:06,070 Well, that is unacceptable. 440 00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:09,006 - Unacceptable! - She never does this. 441 00:19:09,109 --> 00:19:12,343 I mean, I will storm out. Here I go. 442 00:19:14,614 --> 00:19:18,015 No way. It's unacceptable! 443 00:19:18,118 --> 00:19:20,418 This is not happening. 444 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,221 In all honesty, she's never done this. 445 00:19:25,699 --> 00:19:29,470 _ 446 00:19:29,495 --> 00:19:32,072 _ 447 00:19:32,932 --> 00:19:34,766 I know two million sounds like a lot, sweetie. 448 00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:37,568 It's not. It's a small price to pay 449 00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:39,971 to save the Brazilian rain forest. 450 00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:43,141 But aren't you cutting down the rain forest in order to build the resort? 451 00:19:43,243 --> 00:19:46,511 So we can conserve the rest. 452 00:19:46,613 --> 00:19:48,613 It's a virtuous cycle. 453 00:19:48,715 --> 00:19:50,848 - Well, I guess that makes sense. - Hey! Hey! 454 00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:51,767 Hi, Mom. 455 00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:54,242 What are you guys doing all the way out here? 456 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,586 We can talk about this later. 457 00:19:55,688 --> 00:19:57,522 I'll leave the pamphlets on your pillow. 458 00:19:57,624 --> 00:20:00,925 - Thanks, Dad. - Darling. Lee. 459 00:20:01,027 --> 00:20:03,027 Okay, listen to me. 460 00:20:03,129 --> 00:20:05,663 If you want to get advice or talk about money, 461 00:20:05,765 --> 00:20:07,098 you can come to me, okay? 462 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,233 I've got the whole Treasury Department. 463 00:20:09,335 --> 00:20:11,536 And they're, you know... 464 00:20:11,638 --> 00:20:13,571 they've been better, I realize. 465 00:20:13,673 --> 00:20:17,008 I mean, Daddy loves you, sweetheart, 466 00:20:17,110 --> 00:20:20,144 but he's a crook. 467 00:20:20,246 --> 00:20:21,546 - I know. - Right? 468 00:20:21,648 --> 00:20:23,514 - Oh, excuse me. - I just thought I could... 469 00:20:23,616 --> 00:20:26,150 I don't mean to interrupt an intimate moment, 470 00:20:26,252 --> 00:20:30,154 it's just that there have been seismic developments in the negotiations. 471 00:20:30,256 --> 00:20:31,956 You have really rattled the Chinese leaders. 472 00:20:32,058 --> 00:20:33,257 - Oh. - Chinese leaders? 473 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,259 - Yes, Catherine. - Seriously, Mom? 474 00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:38,162 I think he is going to use the gold pen from the Second Hague Convention very soon. 475 00:20:38,264 --> 00:20:40,898 Your mother has given an amazing pen to the Chinese leaders. 476 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,501 - It's gold... - She knows... she knows about that pen. 477 00:20:43,603 --> 00:20:46,504 You are so terrible. 478 00:20:46,606 --> 00:20:48,840 - Catherine. - No. 479 00:20:48,942 --> 00:20:50,675 - Catherine. Okay. - Sorry. 480 00:20:50,777 --> 00:20:53,044 Even labor and delivery with her was a nightmare. 481 00:20:53,146 --> 00:20:54,245 Oh, yes? Why is that? 482 00:20:54,347 --> 00:20:55,580 You have a very narrow vagina? 483 00:20:55,682 --> 00:20:57,281 Well, tight. In the States we say tight. 484 00:20:57,383 --> 00:21:00,985 The Chinese economy is in a worse state than anyone realized. 485 00:21:01,087 --> 00:21:02,820 These sanctions, they are really crippling them. 486 00:21:02,922 --> 00:21:05,122 And Chi-Jang, he is a proud, stubborn man. 487 00:21:05,225 --> 00:21:07,058 Like a Chinese Mr. Darcy. 488 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,393 But stupid also, like a Chinese Mr. Bingley. 489 00:21:09,495 --> 00:21:10,795 I love "Mary Poppins." 490 00:21:10,897 --> 00:21:13,831 So if the United States lifts the sanctions 491 00:21:13,933 --> 00:21:16,534 and is prepared to meet their demands for industrial metals 492 00:21:16,636 --> 00:21:20,838 for the next 25 years, the Chinese might... 493 00:21:20,940 --> 00:21:25,343 might be prepared to discuss Tibet. 494 00:21:25,445 --> 00:21:28,546 - To bet on what? - Wait, to talk about freeing Tibet? 495 00:21:28,648 --> 00:21:31,082 No, they are prepared to discuss a framework for talks 496 00:21:31,184 --> 00:21:32,917 aimed at a possible path to self-determination. 497 00:21:33,019 --> 00:21:35,686 - I'm freeing Tibet? - No, no, not free. 498 00:21:35,788 --> 00:21:38,890 It would likely be one country, two systems similar to Hong Kong. 499 00:21:38,992 --> 00:21:41,492 - That's it. - Bono's gonna shit his sunglasses. 500 00:21:41,594 --> 00:21:44,762 That is like some man on the moon legacy shit. 501 00:21:44,864 --> 00:21:49,400 My God, Selina Meyer, the woman who freed Tibet. 502 00:21:49,502 --> 00:21:51,202 Not... no, really, not free. 503 00:21:51,304 --> 00:21:53,037 What about the factories in Ohio? 504 00:21:53,139 --> 00:21:54,906 Jonah's ahead in all the latest polls. 505 00:21:55,008 --> 00:21:57,575 Fuck those factories, man. I'm freeing Tibet. 506 00:21:57,677 --> 00:21:59,543 - Fuck it! - Really, not freeing. 507 00:21:59,646 --> 00:22:01,312 It is, of course, tragic 508 00:22:01,414 --> 00:22:04,115 for the unemployed workers of Ohio and North Carolina. 509 00:22:04,217 --> 00:22:05,650 Well, they should have tried going to college. 510 00:22:05,752 --> 00:22:07,752 Worry about your own unemployment in Finland. 511 00:22:07,854 --> 00:22:09,487 We don't have unemployment in Finland. 512 00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:12,590 I'm gonna win a Nobel fucking Peace Prize, you guys. 513 00:22:12,692 --> 00:22:14,959 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 514 00:22:15,061 --> 00:22:16,894 - Oh, sorry. Are you all right? - It's okay. 515 00:22:16,996 --> 00:22:19,497 And Tibet will have a new future. 516 00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:22,076 Oh, God, sorry, sorry. Excuse me. Hey, babe. 517 00:22:22,101 --> 00:22:23,091 Hare Krishna. 518 00:22:23,169 --> 00:22:25,036 Hi. How was the ultrasound? 519 00:22:27,807 --> 00:22:29,974 Twins? Oh, my God. 520 00:22:30,076 --> 00:22:32,810 Oh, no, I'm twice as happy now. 521 00:22:34,109 --> 00:22:36,805 Hmm, who should I vote for, huh? 522 00:22:36,883 --> 00:22:38,382 Pow, pow. 523 00:22:38,484 --> 00:22:42,520 Who should I vote for? You can't teach that. 524 00:22:42,622 --> 00:22:44,422 I hope he votes for himself. 525 00:22:44,524 --> 00:22:47,658 Oh, I'm sorry. I need another ballot. 526 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,261 I just... I just need another ballot. 527 00:22:50,363 --> 00:22:52,797 Pow, pow. 528 00:22:52,899 --> 00:22:54,632 I don't want to talk to you. 529 00:22:54,734 --> 00:22:56,600 I want to tell you something, 530 00:22:56,703 --> 00:22:59,537 but it's very confidential, okay? 531 00:22:59,639 --> 00:23:02,506 Mommy is going to free Tibet. 532 00:23:02,608 --> 00:23:04,141 I don't care. 533 00:23:04,243 --> 00:23:06,510 Catherine, come on, honey, remember when you were little 534 00:23:06,612 --> 00:23:09,880 and you had that "Free Tibet" sticker and you put it up on the wall 535 00:23:09,983 --> 00:23:13,818 and we couldn't get it off, remember, because you put it on wallpaper inexplicably. 536 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,587 Hey, Kit-Cat. It's me. Can I come in? 537 00:23:16,689 --> 00:23:18,122 Just you. 538 00:23:20,927 --> 00:23:24,428 - Hey, baby. - Well, yeah. 539 00:23:31,938 --> 00:23:33,471 Wonderful. 540 00:23:33,573 --> 00:23:36,207 - Gan bei! - Gan bei! 541 00:23:37,577 --> 00:23:39,477 And now, let us celebrate 542 00:23:39,579 --> 00:23:42,380 with a traditional Christmas feast. 543 00:23:42,482 --> 00:23:44,815 This is a... 544 00:23:46,953 --> 00:23:50,021 culturally significant and traditional... 545 00:23:50,123 --> 00:23:52,223 - Freedom log. - ...freedom log. 546 00:23:52,325 --> 00:23:56,494 Why don't we slice that up for everyone to enjoy? 547 00:23:56,596 --> 00:24:01,332 You know, we have a statement that is ready for release. 548 00:24:03,369 --> 00:24:05,202 There will be no statement. 549 00:24:05,304 --> 00:24:07,371 These are very delicate issues 550 00:24:07,473 --> 00:24:08,672 and cannot be rushed. 551 00:24:08,775 --> 00:24:09,974 Oh, yes, of course. 552 00:24:10,076 --> 00:24:12,143 I understand that completely. 553 00:24:12,245 --> 00:24:16,881 Although, perhaps when things are as significant as Tibet, 554 00:24:16,983 --> 00:24:22,086 things are accidently leaked to the press 555 00:24:22,188 --> 00:24:25,589 so that the world may know of our accomplishments. 556 00:24:29,662 --> 00:24:32,163 It would be very unfortunate if it also leaked 557 00:24:32,265 --> 00:24:36,300 that you lied to your country about our hacking of your tweets. 558 00:24:36,402 --> 00:24:38,069 That is ridiculous. 559 00:24:38,171 --> 00:24:40,671 We have your emails to prove it. 560 00:24:42,708 --> 00:24:46,644 Okay, well, we can just wait for you guys to release a statement. 561 00:24:46,746 --> 00:24:48,913 - Xiè xie. - Xiè xie. 562 00:24:50,983 --> 00:24:52,049 Minna. 563 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,720 Mr. McLintock? 564 00:24:56,823 --> 00:24:58,856 - Mm-hmm. - Good news. 565 00:24:58,958 --> 00:25:00,791 Your adoption paper has been approved. 566 00:25:00,893 --> 00:25:04,161 You and your wife soon will have a Chinese baby. 567 00:25:04,263 --> 00:25:05,963 Congratulations. 568 00:25:08,367 --> 00:25:09,900 What is happening? 569 00:25:10,002 --> 00:25:11,402 Well, good-bye, Andrew. 570 00:25:11,504 --> 00:25:14,438 Catherine has any questions about the Brazil investment, 571 00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:16,440 - always available. - I have a question. 572 00:25:16,542 --> 00:25:19,743 Is it actually an investment in Brazil? 573 00:25:19,846 --> 00:25:20,978 I can take this if you'd like. 574 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,813 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah, sure. 575 00:25:22,915 --> 00:25:24,815 - Thank you for everything, ma'am. - Oh, you're so welcome. 576 00:25:24,917 --> 00:25:27,952 All right, wheels up in 10 minutes on Marine One. 577 00:25:28,054 --> 00:25:29,353 Pick up the... 578 00:25:29,455 --> 00:25:31,655 - Oh, hi, Catherine. - Really? 579 00:25:31,757 --> 00:25:33,324 - What? - It's official. 580 00:25:33,426 --> 00:25:35,759 At 8:20 this evening, the Widow Sherman conceded. 581 00:25:35,862 --> 00:25:38,429 Oh, H.R. Fucknstuf, Jonah won the election? 582 00:25:38,531 --> 00:25:39,425 It was a small margin. 583 00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:41,523 But still counts as a sign of the apocalypse. 584 00:25:41,601 --> 00:25:45,035 - So Jonah's gonna vote for me and I'm... - Gonna be president! 585 00:25:45,138 --> 00:25:47,004 - I've got to call him. - I got him. He's right here. 586 00:25:47,106 --> 00:25:48,706 Oh, my God. 587 00:25:48,808 --> 00:25:50,374 Congressman Ryan. 588 00:25:50,476 --> 00:25:52,243 Hello, Madam President. 589 00:25:52,345 --> 00:25:54,745 - Or should I call you colleague now? - I wouldn't. 590 00:25:54,847 --> 00:25:56,514 And I just want to let you know that I, 591 00:25:56,616 --> 00:25:58,549 Congressman Jonah Ryan, 592 00:25:58,651 --> 00:26:02,153 will personally deliver you the vote that delivers you the presidency. 593 00:26:02,255 --> 00:26:05,623 - That means so much to me. - Ma'am, while I have you on the phone, 594 00:26:05,725 --> 00:26:08,759 New Hampshire is struggling with an epidemic of opiate addict... 595 00:26:08,861 --> 00:26:10,161 Yeah, I'm not gonna... 596 00:26:10,263 --> 00:26:11,695 Oh! Oh, God. 597 00:26:11,797 --> 00:26:14,498 - Oh, good. That goes in my bag. - Yeah. 598 00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:21,572 I can elect anyone in New Hampshire. 599 00:26:21,674 --> 00:26:24,542 - I can elect a Muslim AIDS virus. - Okay, Jeff. 600 00:26:24,644 --> 00:26:27,311 A terrorist fucking AIDS virus 601 00:26:27,413 --> 00:26:30,347 in the tiniest suicide vest ever made, 602 00:26:30,449 --> 00:26:32,149 I could make it governor of New Hampshire. 603 00:26:32,251 --> 00:26:33,551 Okay, Jeff, you're drunk. 604 00:26:33,653 --> 00:26:35,819 New Hampshire, wow. Wow, New Hampshire. 605 00:26:35,922 --> 00:26:37,121 Thank you. 606 00:26:37,223 --> 00:26:40,558 Oh, my God. I did this. 607 00:26:40,660 --> 00:26:43,694 We just elected Jonah to Congress. 608 00:26:43,796 --> 00:26:47,097 Looking around, I see so many familiar faces of people 609 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,334 - that supported me and believed in me. - Yeah. 610 00:26:50,436 --> 00:26:52,503 And I see a few that didn't. 611 00:26:52,605 --> 00:26:54,171 Like Jessica Thompson. 612 00:26:54,273 --> 00:26:57,074 Hey, Jessica. Jessica, I see you there. 613 00:26:57,176 --> 00:26:59,043 Yeah, it's been a long time since high school. 614 00:26:59,145 --> 00:27:00,711 I like what you did with your hair. 615 00:27:00,813 --> 00:27:03,113 - Do you like what I did with my life? - Oh! 616 00:27:03,216 --> 00:27:06,283 Jimmy O'Connor, I've been waiting 20 years to say this to you. 617 00:27:06,385 --> 00:27:09,053 Oh, my God, I did this. 618 00:27:09,155 --> 00:27:11,355 You just elected Jonah to Congress. 619 00:27:11,457 --> 00:27:13,857 I think that you are the spaz. 620 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,626 But through it all, 621 00:27:15,728 --> 00:27:19,763 there was one person who truly believed in Jonah Ryan 622 00:27:19,865 --> 00:27:22,166 and that was Jonah Ryan. 623 00:27:22,268 --> 00:27:23,734 This is my dream, 624 00:27:23,836 --> 00:27:26,470 that you can believe in yourself so hard 625 00:27:26,572 --> 00:27:28,906 that you eventually become a congressman. 626 00:27:29,008 --> 00:27:31,508 Thank you, New Hampshire. Thank you. 627 00:27:31,611 --> 00:27:34,111 Yeah, well, we're thrilled. Thank you, Congressman. 628 00:27:34,213 --> 00:27:36,780 Jonah is gonna be sworn in with the rest of the freshmen. 629 00:27:36,882 --> 00:27:37,891 Yeah. 630 00:27:37,916 --> 00:27:40,942 Mom, I've come to a decision, by the way, 631 00:27:41,020 --> 00:27:42,853 about the Palm Beach house. 632 00:27:42,955 --> 00:27:45,723 - Okay, Catherine, listen... - I'm keeping it. 633 00:27:45,825 --> 00:27:47,891 Oh, Catherine. 634 00:27:47,994 --> 00:27:51,161 And I'm turning it into a sanctuary for rescued farm animals. 635 00:27:51,264 --> 00:27:52,763 What? 636 00:27:52,865 --> 00:27:55,432 - Rescued farm animals. - Yeah, I heard her. 637 00:27:55,534 --> 00:27:56,967 I think it's inspiring, ma'am. 638 00:27:57,069 --> 00:27:58,736 You're taking my daddy's house 639 00:27:58,838 --> 00:28:03,641 and turning it into some Club Med for goats? 640 00:28:03,743 --> 00:28:04,975 Well, it won't be just goats. 641 00:28:05,077 --> 00:28:06,810 I mean, there's so much property 642 00:28:06,912 --> 00:28:08,746 that we were talking about all different kinds of animals. 643 00:28:08,848 --> 00:28:10,481 I mean, you could have ducks or... 644 00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:12,416 - Lame horses. - Pigs. 645 00:28:12,518 --> 00:28:14,618 - Pigs. Potbellied pigs. - Emus. 646 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,087 - Oh. - And we could have horses as well. 647 00:28:17,189 --> 00:28:19,056 - Okay. - We could have peacocks, too. 648 00:28:19,158 --> 00:28:21,592 - Can you do llamas? - Oh, yeah, we could have llamas. 649 00:28:21,694 --> 00:28:24,161 - Llamas. - Maybe a three-legged goat. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 50951

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.