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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,299 My name is Axe Cop. 2 00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:07,462 I live in a house with two invisible doors, 3 00:00:07,499 --> 00:00:10,524 one for my pet dinosaur and one for me. 4 00:00:10,555 --> 00:00:13,337 I only wear underwear that has a picture of me 5 00:00:13,356 --> 00:00:15,447 chopping off a bad guy's head. 6 00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:17,939 When I turn, the picture of me moves 7 00:00:17,977 --> 00:00:20,275 and chops off his head. 8 00:00:20,322 --> 00:00:22,868 In the morning, I usually find a broken window 9 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:25,525 and I see a bad guy getting away in the distance. 10 00:00:28,824 --> 00:00:31,161 I have a rigorous exercise routine. 11 00:00:32,971 --> 00:00:35,599 I can do an infinite amount of reps of everything. 12 00:00:35,624 --> 00:00:37,771 A billion and six, billion and seven, billion and eight... 13 00:00:37,811 --> 00:00:39,974 When I arrive at the Axe Cop station 14 00:00:40,005 --> 00:00:43,646 the first thing I do is print out a list of bad guys to kill 15 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:46,037 and then I kill them all. 16 00:00:48,906 --> 00:00:50,786 At night, after everyone goes home... 17 00:00:50,858 --> 00:00:53,004 - Good night, Axe Cop. - to be with their families, 18 00:00:53,058 --> 00:00:55,067 I go on a night mission. 19 00:00:56,559 --> 00:00:59,560 - I don't work the day shift or the night shift. - Ha! 20 00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:01,364 I work the always shift. 21 00:01:01,408 --> 00:01:02,466 Ha! 22 00:01:02,499 --> 00:01:04,278 Because I'm a hero. 23 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:06,911 One day, at the scene of the fire 24 00:01:06,947 --> 00:01:09,505 the cop found the perfect axe. 25 00:01:09,532 --> 00:01:13,442 That was the day he became... Axe Cop! 26 00:01:15,183 --> 00:01:17,919 So he had tryouts and hired a partner. 27 00:01:21,196 --> 00:01:23,911 I will chop your heads off! 28 00:01:24,004 --> 00:01:26,738 Axe Cop 01x08 - Super Axe 29 00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:33,513 Axe, it's 8:35. 30 00:01:33,543 --> 00:01:35,770 Yeah, you're usually here by 8:30. 31 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,474 What, are you working banking hours now? 32 00:01:37,484 --> 00:01:38,525 Heh heh, nailed it. 33 00:01:38,558 --> 00:01:40,791 No. I was on a night mission. 34 00:01:40,814 --> 00:01:42,572 So what bad guy did you kill last night? 35 00:01:42,599 --> 00:01:44,967 Actually I killed two bad guys. 36 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:47,837 They were 7th graders. Unfortunately their mom... 37 00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:50,141 the evil red-headed woman... got away. 38 00:01:50,203 --> 00:01:52,375 Oh yeah? They don't-they don't sound too bad. What'd they do? 39 00:01:52,407 --> 00:01:54,773 They stole the president's good guy machine 40 00:01:54,797 --> 00:01:56,930 and turned it into a bad guy machine. 41 00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:58,765 Oh! That actually sounds pretty bad. 42 00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:02,343 Sockarang, lock the bad guy machine in the unbreakable vault. 43 00:02:03,846 --> 00:02:05,246 Yellow, Flute Cop here. 44 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:09,215 Oh, Axe Cop! It's the United States' President and he wants to talk to you. 45 00:02:09,324 --> 00:02:11,404 What do you want? 46 00:02:12,597 --> 00:02:14,864 - Okay. - What did the president say? 47 00:02:14,849 --> 00:02:17,451 He thanked me for getting his bad guy machine back 48 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:20,608 and is declaring tomorrow National Axe Cop Day. 49 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,233 Does that mean we get tomorrow off? 50 00:02:22,262 --> 00:02:24,827 Hey, bros, let's all take a vacation together. 51 00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:26,384 I hate vacations. 52 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,142 Have fun, Axe Cop. 53 00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:30,095 You need a break more than any of us. 54 00:02:30,118 --> 00:02:32,283 - Not gonna happen. - What if I told you 55 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:35,480 I happen to have this cake coupon right here. 56 00:02:35,517 --> 00:02:37,910 It's good at any beach resort in the whole world. 57 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,418 Yeah, you could think of it as a va-cake-tion. 58 00:02:40,442 --> 00:02:43,152 Hmm. A cake vacation? 59 00:02:43,182 --> 00:02:45,850 Flute Cop, we'll use your miles. 60 00:02:48,530 --> 00:02:50,063 I'll have an apple juice, no ice. 61 00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:52,150 Do you have chocolate milk? 62 00:02:52,337 --> 00:02:53,939 Whoop, this is me. 63 00:02:56,359 --> 00:02:58,031 Just give me my keys. 64 00:02:58,069 --> 00:03:00,229 I'm sorry, your room won't be ready until 4:00. 65 00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:03,190 What am I supposed to do for two hours? 66 00:03:10,534 --> 00:03:12,840 Front desk. How can I assist you? 67 00:03:12,872 --> 00:03:16,271 I need 30 TV sets and 30 VCRs brought to my room 68 00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:18,638 so I can watch movies I made of me fighting. 69 00:03:19,271 --> 00:03:21,517 I like to study all my moves. 70 00:03:21,544 --> 00:03:23,867 I'm also gonna need a birthday cake. 71 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,438 I have a coupon. 72 00:03:25,454 --> 00:03:26,930 Mm mm. 73 00:03:26,946 --> 00:03:28,312 Mmm? 74 00:03:31,031 --> 00:03:33,238 You have got to be kidding me! 75 00:03:33,269 --> 00:03:36,910 Gah! Who makes these machines, bad guys? 76 00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:39,644 - Axe Cop, is that you? - Super Axe? 77 00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:42,839 Man! I haven't seen you since fighting college. 78 00:03:42,871 --> 00:03:45,725 If I'm not mistaken, that was exactly 10 years ago. 79 00:03:45,761 --> 00:03:48,764 Don't you know it. But nothing has changed. 80 00:03:48,819 --> 00:03:50,272 I'm exactly the same. 81 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:53,460 Oh, we used to tear it up back then. 82 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,804 All-night battles, chop-a-thons. 83 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,475 - Remember the punching finals? - How can I forget? 84 00:03:58,498 --> 00:04:01,038 "A kick is a punch from a foot!" 85 00:04:03,225 --> 00:04:04,402 Man! 86 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,551 So what brings you to Hawaii? 87 00:04:06,589 --> 00:04:08,847 My team and I are on va-cake-tion. 88 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,031 - That sounds fun. - What about you? 89 00:04:11,056 --> 00:04:13,289 I'm here celebrating my anniversary. 90 00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:16,272 You've chopped 10 million heads already!? 91 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,858 - Congratulations! - Oh no no no no. 92 00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:21,061 I haven't chopped a head in ages. 93 00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:23,516 - It's my wedding anniversary. - Ha! 94 00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:26,086 You always were super funny, Super Axe. 95 00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:27,586 I'm serious. 96 00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:30,392 But, you should be out killing bad guys. 97 00:04:30,411 --> 00:04:32,415 - You're a hero. - Not anymore I'm not. 98 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:35,298 Now I'm a husband. Ooh! Speaking of which, 99 00:04:35,321 --> 00:04:38,509 the wife and I have this couples spa treatment right about now, so... 100 00:04:38,531 --> 00:04:40,732 I gotta run. See ya later! 101 00:04:41,468 --> 00:04:44,101 I remember that. 102 00:04:44,139 --> 00:04:45,666 That's a good move. 103 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,760 - What the heck? - Hello, Axe Cop! 104 00:04:50,785 --> 00:04:52,783 - Remember me? - Of course I do. 105 00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,490 You're the evil red-headed woman. 106 00:04:54,876 --> 00:04:56,915 I killed your children because they were evil. 107 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,666 Are you enjoying your vacation? 108 00:04:58,677 --> 00:05:01,048 - Now I'm not. - Oh that's a shame, 109 00:05:01,076 --> 00:05:02,220 because I am. 110 00:05:02,251 --> 00:05:05,435 I spent Bational Axe Cop Day stealing back my bad guy machine! 111 00:05:05,602 --> 00:05:08,290 But it was locked in my unbreakable vault! 112 00:05:08,329 --> 00:05:10,464 A mother with a broken heart can break 113 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,974 any unbreakable vault. 114 00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:15,474 And now that I have my bad guy machine, 115 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,033 I'm gonna go back in time 116 00:05:17,051 --> 00:05:19,372 and I'm going to turn everyone evil. 117 00:05:19,396 --> 00:05:25,849 And that... includes... you! 118 00:05:25,884 --> 00:05:30,588 I miss... my... sons. 119 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,055 We need to go on an important mission! 120 00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:38,648 Axe Cop! I knew you wanted to come down to the beach! 121 00:05:38,684 --> 00:05:40,417 Hey, have you ever had coconut water? 122 00:05:40,461 --> 00:05:42,703 It's the water inside a coconut 123 00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,456 and you drink it! 124 00:05:45,159 --> 00:05:47,711 That's too much potassium. 125 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,436 - Now let's go! - Hey, c'mon, Axe Cop. 126 00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:52,312 I though we were on va-cake-tion. 127 00:05:52,348 --> 00:05:54,717 Fine. You guys stay here. 128 00:05:54,758 --> 00:05:58,314 I know a real hero that can help save the world. 129 00:05:58,353 --> 00:05:59,720 Super Axe! 130 00:05:59,761 --> 00:06:01,275 Oh hey, Axe Cop! 131 00:06:01,331 --> 00:06:04,133 Tracy, this is my old college buddy I was telling you about. 132 00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:07,468 Hey, Axe Cop! I've heard so much about you. 133 00:06:07,504 --> 00:06:09,586 Pull up a chair and join us. 134 00:06:09,621 --> 00:06:12,635 No time. Super axe and I are going back in time 135 00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:15,287 to the year 0000 136 00:06:15,329 --> 00:06:18,627 to stop the red-headed woman from turning everyone evil. 137 00:06:18,681 --> 00:06:20,541 Sorry, Axe Cop, but... 138 00:06:20,563 --> 00:06:23,107 we do not want to miss the luau tonight. 139 00:06:23,278 --> 00:06:25,569 Whoa, buddy! What are you doing? There's kids around. 140 00:06:25,598 --> 00:06:28,000 Don't worry. It's a time-portal gun. 141 00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:33,189 Oh, I forgot to put on sunblock. Grey Diamond, am I red? 142 00:06:33,213 --> 00:06:34,580 Oh, you're getting cooked. 143 00:06:35,493 --> 00:06:36,469 This is weird, 144 00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:39,117 the beginning of time should be teeming 145 00:06:39,158 --> 00:06:41,696 - with talking good animals. - Weird? 146 00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:44,508 What's weird is you can't take a hint, Axe Cop. 147 00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:46,852 I'm not a hero anymore. 148 00:06:46,886 --> 00:06:48,344 Of course you are. 149 00:06:48,378 --> 00:06:51,305 Don't you remember what Professor Teevil taught us? 150 00:06:51,337 --> 00:06:53,811 Once a hero, always a hero. 151 00:06:53,842 --> 00:06:56,623 But I traded my axe for a wedding ring! 152 00:06:56,654 --> 00:06:58,721 Don't you remember what else he taught us? 153 00:06:58,756 --> 00:07:02,180 Always carry a spare axe. 154 00:07:02,436 --> 00:07:03,883 Ugh, fine. 155 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,767 Psst, Axe Cop. Over here! 156 00:07:05,795 --> 00:07:07,493 Talking frog? 157 00:07:07,525 --> 00:07:10,157 Where are all your good brothers and sisters? 158 00:07:10,169 --> 00:07:11,703 The red-headed woman captured them. 159 00:07:11,736 --> 00:07:13,504 She turned them all evil! 160 00:07:14,012 --> 00:07:15,989 I alone have escaped to tell you. 161 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,660 - Where is she now? - She's up there, 162 00:07:18,707 --> 00:07:20,746 at the center of all time. I'll take you. 163 00:07:20,988 --> 00:07:22,429 All right, let's go. 164 00:07:22,464 --> 00:07:24,453 Boy, I'm glad you guys got here when you did. 165 00:07:24,491 --> 00:07:26,023 The only reason I survived this long 166 00:07:26,056 --> 00:07:27,281 is because I buried myself 167 00:07:27,307 --> 00:07:28,999 in the dead carcass of my brother. 168 00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:30,176 But now that you're here, 169 00:07:30,205 --> 00:07:31,562 I know I'm safe... 170 00:07:31,605 --> 00:07:33,461 Oh no, an evil Griffin! 171 00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:37,142 Axe Cop! 172 00:07:37,681 --> 00:07:39,995 Once I put this good frog 173 00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:41,565 through the bad guy machine, 174 00:07:41,588 --> 00:07:45,300 everyone throughout time will be turned evil 175 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,714 forever! 176 00:07:46,746 --> 00:07:49,136 Stop right there, evil red-headed woman! 177 00:07:49,162 --> 00:07:52,651 You're too late, Axe Cop. 178 00:07:52,683 --> 00:07:54,167 Help me, Axe Cop! 179 00:07:55,386 --> 00:07:59,800 Everyone throughout time is now evil. 180 00:07:59,838 --> 00:08:02,153 Who wants to fight? 181 00:08:02,193 --> 00:08:04,513 - I do! - No! 182 00:08:04,537 --> 00:08:07,153 - We do. - Evil animals... 183 00:08:07,184 --> 00:08:09,309 attack! 184 00:08:20,368 --> 00:08:21,500 Ha! 185 00:08:26,033 --> 00:08:28,797 What are we gonna do, Axe Cop? We can't stop her. 186 00:08:28,837 --> 00:08:30,828 - She's riding a gorilla riding a lion. 187 00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:33,598 - Remember our senior thesis 188 00:08:33,644 --> 00:08:35,289 from fighting college? 189 00:08:35,308 --> 00:08:36,875 You mean when you put two axes together 190 00:08:36,906 --> 00:08:39,055 it forms a super blue diamond axe? 191 00:08:39,089 --> 00:08:40,609 But that was just a theory! 192 00:08:40,643 --> 00:08:42,351 Now! 193 00:08:46,966 --> 00:08:48,958 Bye-bye, red-headed woman. 194 00:08:48,997 --> 00:08:51,273 Don't you mean dead-headed woman? 195 00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,094 Man! 196 00:08:54,127 --> 00:08:58,259 - I knew you still had it in you. - This was actually pretty fun. 197 00:08:58,296 --> 00:08:59,913 I can't wait to tell Tracy 198 00:08:59,953 --> 00:09:02,869 that her husband still has a little hero left in him. 199 00:09:02,898 --> 00:09:05,611 - You can't tell Tracy. - What do you mean, Axe Cop? 200 00:09:05,631 --> 00:09:08,103 We've killed everyone at the beginning of time. 201 00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,369 Tracy doesn't exist anymore. 202 00:09:10,407 --> 00:09:11,291 What?! 203 00:09:11,962 --> 00:09:12,977 Oh no. 204 00:09:13,532 --> 00:09:15,728 - This is terrible. - I know, but don't worry, 205 00:09:15,791 --> 00:09:19,259 we can find more bad guys to kill on other planets. 206 00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:21,056 Have you ever killed an alien? 207 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,978 It's different, but still fun. 208 00:09:23,047 --> 00:09:24,783 I can't believe it. 209 00:09:29,473 --> 00:09:32,610 I thought you were a hero, Super Axe. 210 00:09:35,755 --> 00:09:37,889 Super Axe, what's going on? 211 00:09:37,914 --> 00:09:40,082 - Tracy! - Axe Cop showed up 212 00:09:40,109 --> 00:09:41,876 right before the pork was coming out 213 00:09:41,908 --> 00:09:43,821 and transported me here? 214 00:09:43,843 --> 00:09:45,225 He said something about 215 00:09:45,256 --> 00:09:47,483 me and you living at the center of time 216 00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,373 and rebuilding the world. 217 00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:52,524 God, you were right, he is crazy. 218 00:09:52,553 --> 00:09:54,727 He's not crazy. 219 00:09:54,751 --> 00:09:57,019 He's... a hero. 220 00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:02,918 Some people have other things to do. 221 00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:05,464 - Not me. - Hey, honey, I'm home. 222 00:10:05,499 --> 00:10:06,966 Some people have families. 223 00:10:06,991 --> 00:10:08,375 Not me. 224 00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:09,929 - Yah! - Some people even have friends. 225 00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:10,953 - Take that! - Yeah! 226 00:10:10,974 --> 00:10:12,453 - Not me. - Boom. 227 00:10:12,927 --> 00:10:15,085 - Hyah! - My name is Axe Cop. 228 00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:18,203 I don't work the day shift or the night shift. 229 00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:20,093 I work the always shift. 230 00:10:20,131 --> 00:10:22,281 - Hah! - Because I'm a hero. 231 00:10:22,602 --> 00:10:25,004 And everyone else isn't. 232 00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:28,883 Sync & corr by blue150683 for addic7ed.com 17306

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