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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:09,851 Oops, missed one. 2 00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:15,152 You know, the first time I chopped a head off, 3 00:00:15,199 --> 00:00:17,167 I was eight years old. 4 00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:18,602 It was a rabbit. 5 00:00:18,636 --> 00:00:20,837 He'd been breaking all the rabbit rules. 6 00:00:20,872 --> 00:00:23,907 Everyone knows rabbits hop and eat carrots. 7 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:26,109 But this rabbit walked 8 00:00:26,144 --> 00:00:28,111 And ate coconuts. 9 00:00:28,146 --> 00:00:29,780 So I chopped its head off. 10 00:00:33,573 --> 00:00:35,641 I knew my mom wouldn't understand, 11 00:00:35,675 --> 00:00:38,277 so I hid his head in my favorite lunch box 12 00:00:38,311 --> 00:00:40,479 and tossed it into the water. 13 00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:44,538 That was my first time being a hero. 14 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:45,779 Good talk. 15 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:46,980 Now bye. 16 00:00:57,786 --> 00:00:59,860 Hey, life vest on. 17 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,694 You know the rules, kiddo! 18 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:04,915 Son!? Where do you think you're going? 19 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,914 One day, at the scene of the fire, 20 00:01:09,954 --> 00:01:12,594 the cop found the perfect axe. 21 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:16,442 That was the day he became Axe Cop! 22 00:01:18,172 --> 00:01:20,891 So he had tryouts and hired a partner. 23 00:01:24,226 --> 00:01:26,945 I will chop your heads off! 24 00:01:27,119 --> 00:01:30,283 Axe Cop - 01x06 The Rabbit Who Broke All the Rules 25 00:01:30,441 --> 00:01:33,391 Oooh chihuahua, Axe Cop, 26 00:01:33,421 --> 00:01:35,797 don't kill the messenger, but I got some bad news. 27 00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:39,539 Our gun bill was through the roof last month. Holy cow. 28 00:01:39,579 --> 00:01:42,500 If we wanna buy more bullets, we're going to have to get second jobs. 29 00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:51,818 Hey, Flute Cop, 30 00:01:52,005 --> 00:01:54,888 what's the kind of dad that gets paid to be a dad? 31 00:01:54,922 --> 00:01:56,638 I think you're talking about a foster dad. 32 00:01:56,671 --> 00:01:58,491 Problem solved, Flute Cop. 33 00:01:58,546 --> 00:02:00,389 I will be your foster dad 34 00:02:00,436 --> 00:02:02,671 and I'll use the money to buy bullets. 35 00:02:02,718 --> 00:02:04,667 Or not. Axe Cop, 36 00:02:04,699 --> 00:02:07,738 as a dad I have to say this, I just have to say it: 37 00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:10,839 raising a child is a huge responsibility. 38 00:02:10,879 --> 00:02:11,748 I know. 39 00:02:11,787 --> 00:02:14,983 That's why I'm going to find him a mom to take care of him. 40 00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:18,148 Oh, Axe Cop! Last year, me and a couple buddies 41 00:02:18,186 --> 00:02:20,968 found out about this place out in the deserts of Las Vegas 42 00:02:21,006 --> 00:02:24,155 where for a small fee, they'll set you up with a girl. 43 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:27,156 - How much does it cost? - $15. 44 00:02:27,198 --> 00:02:30,134 You two stay here and babysit my foster son. 45 00:02:30,168 --> 00:02:32,682 Grey Diamond and I are going to Las Vegas. 46 00:02:32,708 --> 00:02:33,604 Whoo-hoo! 47 00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:36,880 They have a roller coaster on top of a hotel. 48 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,716 And the second-best brunch is at lucky Lucy's saloon. 49 00:02:39,756 --> 00:02:41,681 It's great, but you gotta get there early 50 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,909 'cause they run out of French toast fast. 51 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,465 This is the place. 52 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,100 Whoa! 53 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,762 Hello, welcome to the perfect match machine and wedding chapel. 54 00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:57,551 Before we get started, we're gonna need you to fill out this form. 55 00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:59,631 I don't fill out forms, Todd. 56 00:02:59,668 --> 00:03:01,733 Gimme that! I love paperwork. 57 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,818 One time me and my buddy filled out like 10 forms at once. 58 00:03:04,866 --> 00:03:07,678 - It was like, what? - Now step into the machine. 59 00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:10,685 It will scan your brain and find your perfect match. 60 00:03:16,051 --> 00:03:17,485 What the heck? 61 00:03:17,519 --> 00:03:19,613 In my 20 years of working here 62 00:03:19,651 --> 00:03:21,950 I've never seen anything like this. 63 00:03:22,099 --> 00:03:24,380 You are the ultimate man. 64 00:03:24,411 --> 00:03:27,013 Tell me something I don't know, Todd. 65 00:03:27,047 --> 00:03:30,982 There is literally not a single woman on this planet 66 00:03:31,022 --> 00:03:34,420 - good enough for Axe Cop. - Let's get outta here, Grey Diamond. 67 00:03:34,451 --> 00:03:36,752 Awesome! That gives us some time to hit the strip 68 00:03:36,787 --> 00:03:38,988 and try our luck on some games of chance. 69 00:03:39,022 --> 00:03:40,689 Wexter! 70 00:03:44,630 --> 00:03:47,770 I lost everything in the casinos of Las Vegas. 71 00:03:47,814 --> 00:03:51,550 Foster kid, I couldn't find you a mom in Las Vegas 72 00:03:51,584 --> 00:03:53,697 so that leaves me with no choice. 73 00:03:53,728 --> 00:03:55,252 I can't be your dad. 74 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,535 Axe Cop, you just can't foster a child 75 00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:59,425 and then decide you don't want him. 76 00:03:59,459 --> 00:04:01,460 You need to take some responsibility. 77 00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:04,499 Hmmm, my tri-annual learn out for kids 78 00:04:04,531 --> 00:04:07,124 - is coming up this weekend. - Oh, that's perfect! 79 00:04:07,156 --> 00:04:10,535 That would really give you two some father-foster son bonding time. 80 00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:12,780 And if I teach him how to be more like me, 81 00:04:12,806 --> 00:04:14,212 the ultimate man, 82 00:04:14,511 --> 00:04:17,394 he could be the ultimate son! 83 00:04:20,652 --> 00:04:23,933 Now if you're here for Sockarang's Sockattacks 101, 84 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,791 follow him to cabin "B." 85 00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:28,502 Who's ready to go nuts?! 86 00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,257 Sockattack! Sockattack! 87 00:04:30,288 --> 00:04:33,406 If you're here for Grey Diamond's "best friend" seminar, 88 00:04:33,438 --> 00:04:34,975 raise your hand. 89 00:04:35,022 --> 00:04:37,840 Now the thing to consider when picking a best friend 90 00:04:37,872 --> 00:04:41,104 is who lives closest to your house. 91 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:44,080 Dinosaurs, follow wexter. 92 00:04:44,112 --> 00:04:46,409 And if you're here for the axe learn out, 93 00:04:46,448 --> 00:04:49,083 pick up your wooden axes and follow me. 94 00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:52,112 I said dinosaurs follow wexter! 95 00:04:53,706 --> 00:04:54,372 Right. 96 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:55,684 Right. 97 00:04:56,053 --> 00:04:57,086 Right. 98 00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,198 - Wrong! - Whoa whoa whoa! 99 00:05:00,231 --> 00:05:02,462 Axe Cop, can I have a quick word with you? 100 00:05:02,509 --> 00:05:04,010 You got to lighten up on that kid. 101 00:05:04,064 --> 00:05:05,937 How about instead of yelling at him, 102 00:05:05,971 --> 00:05:07,744 you show him how to improve. 103 00:05:07,783 --> 00:05:09,829 But he's terrible at everything. 104 00:05:09,863 --> 00:05:12,673 There's no way he could be my foster son. 105 00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,979 The kid just needs some encouragement. 106 00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:17,281 I know you can do it, Axe Cop. 107 00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:24,384 Psst, kid, you asleep? 108 00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:28,904 I wanna tell you something about me that you probably don't know. 109 00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:30,887 I have three world records. 110 00:05:30,918 --> 00:05:33,025 The first is for the most axe blades. 111 00:05:33,126 --> 00:05:35,209 I just pushed a button on my axe 112 00:05:35,236 --> 00:05:37,604 and 1,000 blades came out. 113 00:05:39,296 --> 00:05:42,553 The second is for being the world's fastest chopper. 114 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,349 I pushed a button on my chest 115 00:05:44,406 --> 00:05:46,073 and a robotic arm came out 116 00:05:46,155 --> 00:05:49,310 and fed me an axe star energy drink. 117 00:05:49,373 --> 00:05:51,905 I ran past 1,000 bad guys 118 00:05:51,949 --> 00:05:54,383 super fast. 119 00:05:54,512 --> 00:05:57,462 But it was so fast, my axe was invisible. 120 00:05:57,634 --> 00:05:58,993 Wait, what? 121 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,694 My third world record was the hardest to get. 122 00:06:02,156 --> 00:06:03,657 I went to jump school, 123 00:06:03,705 --> 00:06:05,706 Which was taught by jump man. 124 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,750 He could jump just a little bit into space. 125 00:06:08,790 --> 00:06:09,987 Being the best jumper 126 00:06:10,018 --> 00:06:12,683 is the only thing that gives me 127 00:06:12,709 --> 00:06:15,651 Jo-oooy! 128 00:06:15,869 --> 00:06:17,404 But I made my parents let me 129 00:06:17,427 --> 00:06:19,779 keep going to jump school every year. 130 00:06:19,823 --> 00:06:23,576 I was going to go until I could beat jump man. 131 00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:26,018 And one day, I did it. 132 00:06:26,058 --> 00:06:29,127 I jumped all the way into outer space. 133 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:29,839 No! 134 00:06:29,886 --> 00:06:32,480 That's how I got the world record for highest jumper. 135 00:06:32,519 --> 00:06:35,362 No. 136 00:06:35,418 --> 00:06:37,409 The point is I have three world records 137 00:06:37,433 --> 00:06:39,437 when most everyone has none. 138 00:06:39,468 --> 00:06:40,205 But... 139 00:06:40,362 --> 00:06:42,958 I had to work hard to get them. 140 00:06:43,021 --> 00:06:45,283 At least I had to work hard to get one of them. 141 00:06:45,453 --> 00:06:46,954 Good night, foster son. 142 00:06:54,082 --> 00:06:57,426 Oh, not bad, 143 00:06:57,457 --> 00:07:00,121 but you are still kicking a little too high. 144 00:07:00,185 --> 00:07:01,986 Try it again, but lower. 145 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,942 I think you're ready for something more advanced. 146 00:07:05,974 --> 00:07:07,641 Axe Face Kick! 147 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,797 Pouncing tiger kick! 148 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,223 Spinning tornado kick! 149 00:07:16,725 --> 00:07:20,653 I saw a lot of losers turn to winners this weekend. 150 00:07:20,685 --> 00:07:23,476 But there was only one super winner 151 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:27,403 - who learned all the kicks. - Even the flaming falcon kick? 152 00:07:27,439 --> 00:07:29,931 - Mm-hmm. - Even the upside down face kick? 153 00:07:29,962 --> 00:07:32,322 - Yep. - Even the spinning tornado kick? 154 00:07:32,354 --> 00:07:35,427 - With a plum. - Wow. Good job, little guy. 155 00:07:35,463 --> 00:07:38,432 Here's your very own real axe. 156 00:07:38,646 --> 00:07:41,982 I'm proud of you. You're not just my foster son, 157 00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:44,678 you're my ultimate son. Now follow me. 158 00:07:44,702 --> 00:07:47,069 It's time for you to become a hero, 159 00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:49,076 like your ultimate dad. 160 00:07:50,975 --> 00:07:52,609 See that hole? 161 00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:55,346 It's filled with a lot of good rabbits. 162 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:58,481 But there's always one who breaks all the rules. 163 00:07:58,516 --> 00:08:03,518 So, when he strolls out here, casually eating a coconut, 164 00:08:03,557 --> 00:08:06,292 that's when I want you to chop his head off. 165 00:08:08,228 --> 00:08:10,029 It's time. Do it now. 166 00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:14,941 Now! 167 00:08:24,819 --> 00:08:27,687 Ultimate son, what has gotten into you? 168 00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:30,709 I'm not your ultimate son. 169 00:08:30,756 --> 00:08:35,654 I'm your ultimate enemy, the soul of your first kill. 170 00:08:35,694 --> 00:08:39,463 And now I'm back to kill you. 171 00:08:39,498 --> 00:08:42,633 You're the soul of the rabbit that broke all the rules? 172 00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:45,703 I'll chop your head off again! 173 00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:54,791 You can't defeat me! 174 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:57,494 You've taught me all of your kicks, dummy. 175 00:08:57,810 --> 00:08:58,646 Wrong. 176 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,789 There's one kick I didn't teach you 177 00:09:00,836 --> 00:09:03,615 because it didn't exist until now. 178 00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:06,685 Axe Cop soul kick! 179 00:09:12,825 --> 00:09:15,666 All I ever wanted to do 180 00:09:15,838 --> 00:09:17,994 was walk around 181 00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:20,314 and eat coconuts. 182 00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:22,801 Then you shouldn't have been born a rabbit. 183 00:09:22,835 --> 00:09:25,147 Ahhh! 184 00:09:25,177 --> 00:09:26,911 Where am I?! 185 00:09:26,946 --> 00:09:30,315 Hmm. There goes all that foster-dad money. 186 00:09:30,349 --> 00:09:32,917 Ah, I guess I was wrong, buddy. 187 00:09:32,952 --> 00:09:35,420 I'm sorry I told you to take that kid under your wing. 188 00:09:35,454 --> 00:09:38,990 But I still think spending time with him taught you a very valuable lesson. 189 00:09:39,024 --> 00:09:41,025 Right? No? 190 00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:43,261 - Yeah, right? - Yes, it did. 191 00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:45,591 I learned that if you're going to kill something, 192 00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:48,600 you have to make sure you kill its soul too. 193 00:09:48,634 --> 00:09:49,968 Yeah, that sounds about right. 194 00:09:50,486 --> 00:09:52,270 You were my foster son, 195 00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:54,973 but I never gave you a name. 196 00:09:55,007 --> 00:09:57,008 Now I can. 197 00:09:57,042 --> 00:09:58,810 Last name "Rabbit," 198 00:09:58,844 --> 00:10:00,578 First name... 199 00:10:00,613 --> 00:10:02,280 "Dead." 200 00:10:11,918 --> 00:10:13,961 Ah, hold on. 201 00:10:20,132 --> 00:10:21,898 It sounds wrong. 202 00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:23,898 It's like off tune, right? What is that? 203 00:10:24,102 --> 00:10:27,805 Sync & corr by blue1506 -- for addic7ed.com -- 15211

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