Original subtitles

One day, at the scene of the fire

the cop found the perfect axe.

That was the day he became Axe Cop!

So he had tryouts and hired a partner.

I will chop your heads off!

Axe cop - 01x04 Babysitting Unibaby

This is Rockin' Robin on your 8-0 dial,

music for parking in the dark while in rock creek park.

Seriously, we're out of gas.

So, uh, what do you want to do now?

Wait, what the--

You just chopped my girlfriend's head off!

She was on my list of all bad guys.

- See? - Okay, wait wait wait.

Her real name was Poison Poison?

And her power was Poison Punches?

Wow. Thanks, Axe Cop.

That's why I spy on people.

Axe Cop, this is Flute Cop, do you read me? Come in. Over.

What do you want, Flute Cop? I'm on a night mission.

I'm sorry to bother you, but, uh,

do you know how I've been saving my money to get $100?

Well, guess what? I did it! Yeah.

So I was thinking of taking Anita

on a little romantic getaway for our anniversary.

So...

Could you possibly babysit Uni-Baby for us?

How much are you going to pay me?

Uh, I can pay you $15.

I'll be right there.

Flute Cop's taking me to Hawaii.

- Isn't he romantic? - How would I know?

I mean, can you think of a better place to go on vacation?

- Yes. - Uh, so the baby food is in the fridge

and the fresh diapers are in the dresser.

Oh, and don't mess with Uni-Baby's horn,

um, as it holds great power.

- Okay, see you in a couple days. - Okay, see you later.

Bye-bye, little Uni-Baby. Mommy wuv you.

And don't mess with Uni-Baby's horn. It holds great power.

Gross!

She already pooped.

I'm not feeding you any more food.

You poop too much. From now on

you just get one small meal a day.

What the heck?!

You know what?

I don't like you. I'm gonna hide this

until your parents come home.

Babies are so dumb.

Sockarang on the telephone!

Sockarang, I'm at Flute Cop's house babysitting.

Oooh, I love babies!

I'll be right there.

Aw, man. Flute Cop has the best snacks.

So, ugh, where's the, uh, where's the baby?

I locked her in the closet because she poops and cries too much.

- Oop, smart. - Now let's look around the house

and see if there's anything cool to play with.

Hey, Sockarang, look what I drew.

I call it... Magic World.

- We should go there! - I know.

- But how? - With... this!

Great! Let's go to Magic World!

- Oh wait, what about Uni-Baby? - She won't die.

- She ate a small meal. - We can't just leave her here alone.

No, but we can create cyborg versions of ourselves

to watch over her.

I programmed the cyborgs to watch Uni-Baby

and to punch her if she cries.

See?

When I have a baby, you're babysitting.

Not unless you have $15, I'm not.

Axe Cop Magic World!

Magic World is so magical, I could cry.

Not me, I never cry.

Intruders! Freeze, Magic Police!

Run!

We lost 'em.

Of course we did.

The Magic Police are the slowest police.

Oh... my... gosh.

- Look! - The big magic show is about to start.

- Let's go watch! - I've got a better idea.

Ah!

Cool!

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be amazed

at our amazing magic show!

This is ridiculous. Where are their wands?

And now for our first trick...

Boo-ooo. They tore our historic tent!

Maza lapapell babalel laba lell sabba sell!

Make that hole filly well!

Oh, see, now that's what I expect...

- the unexpected. - And now for our final trick!

Baba-shalell, make $100

appear in every hand.

How did they do that?

I'm saying that rhetorically. I don't want to know.

- I love magic. - Now for our other final trick:

A thousand-pousand- papa-pa-pa-pow!

This is an outrage.

Now they're richer than we are.

- We win! - You lose.

Ha ha!

Ladies and gentlemen, these are fake magicians!

Let's kill them!

And good night.

Ha ha ha ha! What should we do with all this money?

Buy something that makes something invisible.

Yeah, that's a great idea. I know a guy--

Wa-wa-wait, I see something I want.

Awesome!

I chubby wubby you! Ha ha ha ha!

Chubby Doll is the best.

- Yes, he is. - Come in, Axe Cop.

Axe Cop, I just wanted to check in on Uni-Baby.

I'm trying, just give me a second.

No, I hear because you're judging me.

You don't have to say anything. It's that look.

Axe Cop--

Hey, I think we should go back home and check on Uni-Baby.

No. Send Chubby Doll back.

That way we can stay here in Magic World

and have even more fun.

I'm going to blow this baby's head off!

- Do it! - What the heck?!

Axe Cop, the computer brains of those cyborgs

have turned evil! They're gonna kill the baby!

Come on, let's go save the baby.

No, I don't want to!

We're not done having fun yet.

You are under arrest.

Abra-ca-handcuffs.

Fine, we'll go check on Uni-Baby.

Ahh, isn't this great?

So-ooo great. Yeah.

It's amazing what $100 can buy you,

or $100 minus $15. So $85.

Oh look, coconuts!

Watch this.

- It's so beautiful. - Oh man, I love you.

Uh, honey, can't we just try Axe Cop again?

See how Uni-Baby is doing?

I'm sure...

She's fine.

She's with Axe Cop.

What could possibly happen?

Hyah!

Hyah!

Ahhh, Stockarang!

What do you want, Flute Cop?!

I'm babysitting. It's Flute Cop.

Yes, she's fine.

Okay, we will. Bye.

Flute Cop said we should take Uni-Baby to the park.

I hate babysitting.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

- We should rob a bank? - Yes.

Why won't Uni-Baby stop crying? It's so annoying.

Well, she's probably hungry. We haven't fed her all day.

Too bad. I don't want her pooping.

- Oh ho ho, I hear that. - Axe Cop, Axe Cop, come in.

This is the chief of the normal police.

It's the chief of the normal police.

What do you want?

Why are you and Sockarang robbing a bank?

- Hmmmm? - What are you talking about?

We're not robbing a bank.

But I think I know who is.

We are rich now!

Let's go buy more guns to rob more banks.

Yes!

C'mon, Axe Cop, let's go get em'!

I'll chop your head-- oh no.

- I left my axe at the house. - What-- what are we gonna do?

Quiet, baby!

This is no time for eating or pooping!

Shhh, she's trying to tell us something.

This hole in the stroller, it's a cannon.

But there's no trigger. There's no trigger!

Because it's a poop cannon. It's controlled by pooping.

- Oh, we gotta feed her! Aha ha! - Ugh, fine.

Eat, Uni-Baby, eat!

Hey, cyborgs!

Look at this present we got you!

I love presents.

The baby saved the day!

I chubby wubby you!

So, Axe Cop,

do you still think babies are dumb?

Of course I do.

Aloha! We're back.

Oh my gosh, we had such an amazing time.

This volcano was about to erupt

and everyone was like "we're going to die,"

but Flute Cop used his flute

to charm the volcano.

Let's just say it'll never erupt again.

Did you miss daddy? Did you miss daddy?

Yes, you did. Say da-ddy!

- Can you say da-ddy? - Axe Cop.

Yeah, she said daddy!

We all heard it. I heard it-- daddy.

The sound in here is weird.

That'll be $15.

Sync and corr by blue150683 -- addic7ed.com --