All language subtitles for asWater

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
M_I_SForEver

Get the lead out, Billy.

You need to go over to that
sand trap and clean it out.

Looks like a coyote left
you a fuzzy masterpiece.

At least I think
it was a coyote.

You think it was a coyote?

Things are still a little
vague from last night.

Partied with the
college golf team.

I'm Honky Kong bitches!

And I'm princess pee!

You better run, pussies!

Look at 'em go!

Woke up in the sand trap.

Now get to it!

We're burning daylight.

Your wife was asking for you.

Do ya think?

Rally the troops.

T-Rex havoc is a go.

No way.

Are you serious?

Camel Towing?

Hell yeah, Camel Towing.

I'm very serious.

Put your best foot forward, huh?

Good marketing plan.

Come on, a guy with
a sense of humor.

I got a job.

- Ooh!
- Ooh, yeah.

Can I get your number?
I'll give you my number.

I'll give you a free ride
on me,.. right on me.

We believe there's
some excellent

We've done our research.

We're confident
this will connect

with the demographic
you're aiming for.

What do you think, Jim?

Well, I do like
the logo, I do.

But this don't make me
want to buy my hot sauce.

Uh-uh!

This makes me to buy milk.

"One drop is hot enough
for two," really?

Hold on.

Hey, we have some
tamer suggestions.

I mean Ted came up
with a good one.

"Let the fire loose," boom!

Now that is tamer, for sure.

But unfortunately,
Ted, you're an idiot.

That translates in Portuguese

to suffer from burning diarrhea.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

How about "one hot mother?"

No, I told you boys

I wanted to appeal to
the little millennials.

I wanted something
cool and extreme.

Instead, you give
me big ol' titties?

Now, I appreciate all
your efforts, I do.

But unfortunately,
Doug, it's a no.

Come on Jim, just give
us another 24 hours.

We'll get a winner for you.

All right, I like you boys.

I'll give you another day.

But I want something that
says "summertime extreme!"

I want people to
say, "Hot damn!"

- Hot Damn!
- Hot damn!

Hot damn!

- Damn!
- Hey, we're on it.

We're on it.

Thanks a lot.

The extra time means a lot.

You're very welcome, Douglas.

Now, I appreciate it, and I
want you boys to know something.

She do have a nice rack.

All right, I'll give you that.

And I'm gonna take
this thing home with me

if you don't mind.

I'd like to study
her a little deeper,

if you know what I mean.

Did you see what
I did there, Ted?

Did you see that, Chris?

I said "deeper."

Hey, God bless.

God bless you boys.

Likewise.

God bless, Jim.

That guy's a nimrod.

I don't think
this stuff's food.

I'm dying.

He may be a nimrod,

but he's a useful
nimrod right now.

You know if business
wasn't so slow,

I'd tell him to shove his hot
sauce up his hot damn ass!

Hey, thanks again for lending
me your freestyle ski, Mark.

Absolutely, brother.

I wouldn't miss
this for the world.

Oh man, you are
so getting fired.

Oh yeah, and I'm
going out with a bang.

All right, you ready?

We're live.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

This is future world champion
jet skier Billy Burnett.

Stay tuned, you are
about to see how I roll.

Pin it to win it, baby!

Woo!

Hello.

This is Douglas Burnett.

Just seeing if you
got my car delivered

to the Refuge okay?

Oh, all good, all
good, Mr. Burnett.

Yeah, yeah, I just dropped her
off right underneath the pool

where all the other cars are
on display just like you asked.

Okay, good.

I just wanted to make sure

my baby didn't get
scratched or anything.

Oh, don't you worry, sir.

You are in the best hands
possible, I promise.

- Thank you.
- Hey, thank you.

Woo, let's do this, guys!

T-Rex is hungry for you, Jerry!

Let's go, baby!

Well, that's something
you don't see everyday.

I gotta check this out.

Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Jerry Aldridge,

and this is my wife, Cindy.

Welcome to the Refuge
Golf and Country Club,

Horn Winery charity event.

We're so glad you're here.

Now grab a glass of wine or a
cocktail and enjoy yourselves.

We're going to start the
festivities in just a moment.

Woo, let's go guys!

Big move coming up.

There's a dinosaur jet
skiing in the swimming pool!

Oh, Jerry.

- You're fired!
- Welcome to the party!

Are you a little thirsty?

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh no, my dad's car.

He's gonna kill me.

I can't believe it.

I'm gonna kill him!

It's just a car, Douglas.

It can be fixed.

It's not just a car.

It's a collector's item.

I love this car.

I was gonna pass this
car on to Billy someday,

but that's never happening now.

Can you calm down?

No, no, no.

Every week it's
something new with him,

a new video for his
internet followers,

and a new pain in my ass.

That's it, he's out.

We have been over this before.

You are not kicking him out.

He's 21.

When I was 21, you
know what I did?

I didn't have one job.

I had two jobs, and I was
on my own busting my ass.

Maybe if you were around more.

Talk to him.

At least show an interest.

I find that a little difficult

when he's shooting video of
himself in a dinosaur costume

shooting bottle
rockets out his ass!

Show an interest
in his jet skiing.

He has been talking
about wanting to be

a pro jet skier for years.

He's a quitter.

How are you gonna a pro at
anything when you're a quitter?

I mean, as soon as
the going gets tough,

he moves on to his
next adventure.

I don't ask for
much as a father.

Just once, if he could
just see something through,

one thing, focus on that.

Jet skiing is what
he is passionate about.

Oh, oh.

See? See?

Right there, don't
try to defend him.

What kind of
future's jet skiing?

He's just gonna
get a bitchin' tan,

sell some knockoff sunglasses,

and work out of
some beach shack.

And you know I've
never told you this,

you're an enabler and
you're codependent,

- and you know what...
- Okay...

I cannot talk to you
when you're like this.

Great, my car and my wife.

What a joke.

God.

Yes, sir.

I feel you on that.

When she's not happy,
you're not happy, huh?

My damn kid, what
I'm gonna do with him?

I mean, I called in a huge favor

to get him this job that
he just threw it away.

Forgive me for
eavesdropping Mr. Burnett.

I didn't mean to
overhear anything.

But I actually might
have a solution

that could just solve all
your problems in one shot.

- Yeah, right here.
- Oh, no.

Whoa, that's really morbid.

- No, no, I would not.
- Head area, the head area.

Sir, I would not suggest that.

You own an add agency, right?

Yeah.

Okay, so if you can get
just one of your clients

to sponsor a jet ski team,

you look like the most
supportive dad in the world,

you get rid of your kid
for the entire summer,

and, the missus
there might give you

a little bit of that
newlywed nookie,

if you know what I'm saying.

Well, what kind of nimrod

would sponsor a
screw-up like Billy?

Huh, tell me that.

A useful nimrod.

Ah! Hot damn!

Yeah, I don't know Mr. Burnett,

but I was just checking out
Billy's followers earlier,

he's got a couple
hundred thousand, right?

So you mix those numbers
with your sales skills.

Trust me, I know
talent when I see it.

I used to wrench for the
greatest jet skier of all time,

this guy Jarid Harper, right?

He's a five-time world
champion jet skier.

Trust me when I say your
son Billy, he's really good.

This Jarid Harper, is there
any way you can get him,

you know like, to come onboard

as Billy's personal
one-on-one coach?

You know, at least for name
value or appearance sake?

I like where you're going
with this, Mr. Burnett.

Very smart.

Yeah, yeah, Jarid actually
happens to be my best friend.

Traveled the world with him.

We've done lots of
crazy things together.

We're very close.

So I could get the world's
greatest jet skier of all time

to come out of retirement,
coach your son,

who's like the most badass,
extreme new rider on the planet.

Come on, boom!

Hot damn.

Keep this clipped to your
life vest at all times, okay?

If you fall off, it'll
shut the motor off.

Now, this is the slow area.

You gotta go slow here.

And you can go faster
once you reach the buoy.

Oh, okay, go fast to the buoy.

No, no, no, no, no, no, ah...

No wake in this
area, okay, slow.

No waves until you
reach the buoy.

Oh, wave to buoy?

No, no, no okay,
in this area...

Do you need some help?

Oh, yes, please.

Thank you.

- Konichiwa.
- Oh, konichiwa...

What's up, man?

- Wow.
- Yeah, wow.

- How you doing?
- Doing good.

You got yourself a
new employee there?

Yes, I do.

And, no, you can't.

Oh, come on.

So, what brings you

all the way out
here to Havasu, Dog?

Oh, just your old
wrench bringing you

the best opportunity
you've had in years.

Well, you know,
nothing's changed.

"I'm retired," I
know, I know, I know.

Look, I'm not talking
about you racing.

No, I'm talking about
you coaching a new kid.

I mean, that is, unless
you'd rather stay here

and teach tourists how to
ride through the no wake zone?

Hey, hey, plus, plus, I got
us a full sponsorship deal

from our friends at
Grim Ripper Hot Sauce!

Huh, what does that do for ya?

A new kid with a
full sponsorship?

Is he really that good?

Oh yeah, he reminds
me of you at his age.

He's fast and fearless.

With a little guidance from you,

he could be the
next Jarid Harper.

Look, I can't leave my
business for the whole summer.

Your business?

Come on, your business
is gonna be fine.

Your employees can handle
things for a couple of months.

Plus, you're gonna come
back with so much cash,

you can buy yourself some
new skis, and you need 'em.

Come on.

There's always
a catch with you.

So come on, what is it?

Huh, what, what catch?

There's no catch.

Come on, we're
going on tour again!

That's it, up high!

Sounds grand, but... pass.

All right, well hey, you
know if you don't do this,...

Richard is gonna tie
your record this year.

Are you telling me
nobody's put that jackass

in his place yet?

You know what, never mind.

I'm over it.

- You're over it?
- Yep.

You're over it?

Come on, man, it's me.

Who are you kidding?

That douche bag
ended your career.

You have every
right to hate him.

Now I know, I know,
you went backpacking

through Europe with
a bunch of monks,

you got all zenned out
and you came back saying,

you know, "Things
happen for a reason,"

and "The universe
will make it right."

No, come on!

You know what I say?

I say we open up a
can of whoop-ass on

Champ, you need this
just as bad as I do.

I do not need this.

- You do not need this?
- No.

Come on, I see it.

You're carrying
around this grudge

that's just gonna haunt
you the rest of your life.

Okay, think about it.

How long was it that your last
girlfriend stuck around, huh?

Well, a lot longer than any
girlfriend you've ever had.

Well yeah,
I mean, it's me.

You know, two lap
dances in a row

is a long term
relationship, right?

Huh? Come on!

Come on!

Oh my God, you're
leaving me hanging again?

Champ, think about it this way.

If you do this,

you're gonna keep Richard
from tying your record,

and you're giving something
else back to the sport,

a new champion.

It'll be like old
times, you and me,

racin' and chasin'.

Come on, come on, one
last ride, please.

Come on.

Yeah!

Yeah?

Are we doing this?

Are we going on tour?

- Yeah.
- Yeah!

Well, sound excited
about it, come on.

- Yay!
- Yeah! Tour!

Come on, now.

Well, he's a
half an hour late.

I know, I know, I
know, you hate that.

But look, he drove in super
late last night, okay?

He's a young guy.

He needs his sleep.

Just go easy on
him, okay? Please?

Yeah, all right fine,
I'll go easy on him.

Woo-hoo!

Woo!

Here we are,

Body Beach in Lake
Havasu, Arizona.

Now, this is where
champions are made.

Be nice, be chill.

He's excited, all right?

Speaking of champions,
check this guy out.

The man, the myth, the legend,

Jarid Harper, ladies
and gentlemen!

You're late.

Yeah, yeah, I had a little
video snafu this morning.

Video snafu?

Yeah, yeah, we're
streaming live.

Oh yeah, that's a thing
nowadays, streaming live.

Oh, great, great.

Well, here's my thing.

On time next time.

Now go get your damn gear on.

Nice to meet you too.

What are you doing?

You said, "Okay,
I'll be nice to him."

Yeah, well, I lied.

- All right!
- Woo!

Time to stick it
in and get it wet!

Pin it
to win it, baby!

Do it, baby.

Damn it!

Oh, you gotta love him.

He's just like you were, huh?

You kidding me? I
was never that cocky.

Oh, come on.

Hey, who was that guy

that used to show up to
all those rider's meetings

saying, "Hey, " which
one of you guys

"is getting second place?"

Huh, who was that?

Yeah, well, I was
right, wasn't I?

Woo!

What do you think, huh?

Well he knows how to
squeeze the throttle.

How's he gonna be in
a crowd, any finesse?

Finesse? Come on,
please, look at this guy.

He's like a Picasso out there.

Oh yeah, a Picasso all right,

one eye and three tits.

Yeah!

That thing is a rocket.

I'm having trouble
with the turns.

Yeah, welcome to
the GP ski class.

This thing right here
is like 1,100 cc's

of raw, butt-clinching
horsepower.

You need to scuff up the
bottom and get some bite.

Run it up on the
beach a couple times.

Purposely scratch a new hull?

It's an old speed secret.

Oh, and another thing, set
up for the turns earlier.

Sometimes you gotta
go slower to go fast.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Mr. Burnett, hello.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
Billy's doing great.

Yeah, I was actually
just telling Jarid

he's riding around out there

with like the
finesse of a Picasso.

Oh, that's a bummer.

Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, um...

I'm sorry to hear that.

I will tell them.

All right, you too. Take care.

Well, that was your Dad.

He said something
came up at the office,

but he wanted us to take a bunch
of pictures of the program,

and he's really interested
in seeing those.

He wanted to make sure we
sent them off to him...

Interesting how
Billy's dad hooks him up

with a full sponsorship,

and then just doesn't
show up today.

I mean, yeah, he's
a busy guy, you know.

He runs an add agency.

We're the pros.

He trusts us to
keep him updated.

So that must be
why he called you

to say he couldn't come,
and not his own son?

Yeah, yeah, exactly, right.

And then Billy rams the
ski up onto the beach,

barely apologizes,
and then just bolts.

Well, I mean, you know,

that's probably just
because he was embarrassed

about screwing up in
front of his hero.

You know, "the"
Jarid Harper, huh?

Yeah, yeah, that must
be what it is, yeah.

Time to come clean, Dog!

- Ah! Come on, come on!
- There's always a catch with

- with you. Now, what is it?
- There's no catch, no catch!

There's no catch, get off!

Get off, get off, get off!

I think you bruised
my manaconda.

Well, maybe if you're lucky,
it'll swell up to adult size.

- Now talk.
- All right, all right,

all right, all right,
all right, all right.

Look, the deal is,...

Billy's a pain in
his dad's ass, all right?

So his dad got him a sponsor

to get rid of him on
tour for the summer.

That's it, that's
what's going on.

What are we, a
couple of babysitters?

No.

You know what, this
whole thing is a sham, Dog.

What were you thinking, huh?

- No.
- I'm out.

Come on, champ, no.

You can't quit.

I'm out.

Come on, come on, Champ.

Forget it.

No, come on.

You can't leave.
You saw his face.

If you leave, he's got nothing.

Fine, but you owe me.

Welcome to round one

of the Azeo Distilleries Tour.

There's added excitement
in the air today

thanks to the return of
the greatest champion

of all time, Jarid Harper.

What'd I tell you?

Just like old times, yeah champ?

Love the smell of race
fuel in the morning.

Smells like victory.

Yeah, just like old times.

Jarid!

My goodness, you're
still on tour?

But of course.

Hide the women.

It's too late.

Hey, hey, Billy!

Billy, I want you to
meet Jean Paul Nukette,

also known as Nuke.

Also known as tet-a-peen.

That's French for dickhead.

Tell me, are you
still a virgin?

You guys starting already?

You know, Nuke's a freestyler.

So basically he just competes

for a whopping two
minutes every weekend,

and then he talks to girls
with his fancy French accent

and they all melt.

This is a typical
weekend for Dog.

He just waxes on and
then he whacks off.

So Billy, you're so fast

they had to give you
three number ones?

Yeah, I'll be
peeling two of 'em off

by the end of the season.

- I like your attitude.
- Yeah.

I heard there was a
loose dog running around

in these pits.

Aw, you know it, baby!

Come here, give the dog a bone.

Good to see you.

- Hi, champ.
- Hey.

Oh, it's
been too long.

Look at you.

Little Kelly Weber
grows up to be beautiful

and Hot Water Champion
from what I hear.

- Very nice.
- Ah, Kelly, my dream woman.

Save it Nuke.

Hey, Kelly Weber, I'm Billy.

I've seen you in
all the magazines.

Ah, you must be
Jarid's new protege

everyone's buzzing about.

I am, and it is all true.

There you are.

Oh, guys, this is Summer.

She rides for Team Scream.

Hi, I'm Dog.

Now you know what to team
scream later tonight.

You should save your
breath for your blow-up doll.

I'm sure you'll need it.

Hello, my name is Nuke.

Oh, please keep
your lips off me.

There's no telling
where they've been.

Oh hey, team boobies.

I like her.

I'm sure you recognize Jarid.

Of course, the legend.

Hmm, nice to meet you.

And his new rider, Billy.

Hi.

You must be pretty special
to be teamed up with this guy.

Yes, I am.

Okay, and modest too.

Yeah.

Jarid Harper!

How's the ah,.. how's the leg?

Oh, whoops!

Sorry about that, Richard.

Don't worry, I'm
sure it'll come off

next time you shed your skin.

It's all good, big dog.

You and Jarid
go way back, huh?

Yeah, ever since
I was a little girl.

Him and my dad used to be
friends back in the day.

Kelly, team meeting,... Now.

Whoa.

Hey Richard, might want
to lay off the donuts.

Gettin' a little muffin
top going on there.

Gotta compete in a
different weight class.

Oh yeah, real nice.

Well, that was a nice visit.

So you're racing on
Richard's team now, huh?

I tried to contact
you for some advice

when I got the offer, but no
one could seem to find you.

Yeah, I was on a bit
of an extended vacation.

Does he always boss
you around like that?

Ever since she
went out with him.

You dated that guy?

Well, you know, we
were training together,

and went to dinners, and then...

- Uh-huh
- I know, I know.

yeah.

Thank you Summer for sharing.

Maybe it's just that
bad boy thing we're into.

- I don't know.
- Wow.

You wanna see my tattoo?

- I have a tattoo here.
- No.

Wait, you want
me to follow you?

Ah...

Settle down.

Guys, I've gotta go.

It was great to see you.

Good luck.

The GP ski
pro class is on the line.

All the top names are here,

and a new rider everyone is
excited to see, Billy Burnett.

Expectations are running
high for this young man.

It'll be interesting
to see what he can do.

All right, it's
first race of the year,

so everyone's gonna be
charging into that first turn

way over their heads.

Stay inside. Ride smart.

Time to show 'em your ass.

Settle down, Billy.

Ride smooth.

Newcomer
Billy Burnett is struggling

in the chop, having trouble
negotiating the turns.

Come on, Billy!
Choose your lines.

Burnett's
riding has been erratic,

but his speed is unquestionable.

He's reeling in Richard Hurt,

and is beginning to put
pressure on our leader.

Burnett is closing the gap,
but it looks like Richard Hurt

is just playing with
him at this point.

Stop screwing around.

Burnett's coming
up on you quick.

Richard, he's right
behind you. Come on.

I'm setting him up.

Back off, Billy,
he's setting you up!

Look out,
they're rubbing skis!

Whoa-ho!

And apparently Richard Hurt

is giving Billy his
welcome to the pro class.

Burnett has a few
things to learn,

and Richard Hurt just
gave him his first lesson.

Welcome to Sacramento
for round two

of the Azeo Distilleries Tour.

Once again, it's Kelly Weber

dominating the pro women's class

aboard her Broward
Motorsports Kawasaki,

lapping near the entire
field in the process.

As she crosses the finish line,

she leaves no doubt
in anybody's mind

that she is literally
in a class of her own.

You should take
it easy out there.

You keep lapping all
the girls like that,

they won't want to
race with you anymore.

That's okay.

I want to race against
the men anyway.

Oh, I'm scared.

You should be,

especially after the way
you rode last weekend.

Okay, that's very nice.

He is such a jerk.

He parades different girls
around me like I care,

and now he's giving me dirty
looks for talking to you.

What ever happened
with him and Jarid?

I heard that he
couldn't beat him,

and so he slammed into
his ski and broke his leg.

Yeah, and it happened on
the back side of the wave.

Richard claims it
was an accident,

and since nobody saw it,
that's how it was ruled.

I guess Jarid's right, he
does give assholes a bad name.

Think I'm going
to have a little fun

with Burnett on the line.

See if I can get him
to jump the start.

Focus on winning.

Do what you do best.

Go out there and ride
the way you ride and win.

Don't worry about that stuff.

The
rivalry developing

between Hurt and
Burnett is obvious,

as neither rider
wants to give an inch.

Hurt jumps! Uh-oh!

Burnett reacts and
completely jumps the start,

catching the rubber
band under his neck.

It pulls him off his ski in a
painful lesson of restraint.

And Burnett takes the ride
of shame back to the line.

The official signals
he will now have

a dead engine on the restart.

Burnett will start in
the back of the pack,

and have to deal with the chop

from the rest of the
riders in front of him.

It's a washing
machine out there.

In conditions like this, you
have to find your rhythm,

and Burnett just can't
seem to find his.

Burnett steps off again!

He has to be getting
frustrated at this point.

Burnett attacking
the log jump section,

blowing by two riders.

Oh! He miss-times it,
and goes over the bars!

Burnett is showing promise,

but his go for broke riding
style has cost him again.

It's a beautiful day
here in Huntington Beach

for round three of the
Azeo Distilleries Tour.

Come on, Billy stay low.

If you're in the air,
you're not going forward.

Cut now! Cut now!
Get over the wave!

Burnett and
Hurt are side by side.

Burnett goes big, but Hurt
stays low and pulls away!

Burnett and Hurt are
battling through the surf.

Cut, Billy, cut!

Hurt
stays tight in the turn

and gets over the wave.

Burnett goes wide and
the wave takes him out!

They're off the line
here in Myrtle Beach.

Billy Burnett
catching some big air,

but losing time as Richard
Hurt moves to the front.

Check out the
drive from Burnett,

as he's found some traction
and he blows by Hurt.

Burnett leads the pack into
the first turn, and yes,

it is Billy Burnett with
the holeshot, unbelievable!

Burnett out in front.

But what's this?

He went to the wrong buoy.

Burnett drops two positions.

Where is his head today?

Burnett charging
through the surf.

He flies off a wave
and goes by Motzurus,

moving into second place.

He misses the buoy.

He'll have to circle back!

But he keeps going!

Billy, are you kidding me?

Konichiwa, joudan de shou.

Japanese?

It's worth a shot.

He sure as hell doesn't
understand English.

Don't freewind your
engine like that.

You're gonna blow it up.

Billy
Burnett has been riding

like Charlie Manson.

He has caught Richard Hurt,

and they are battling
through the chop,

heading out to the far buoy.

Hurt on the inside,
Burnett on the outside.

Burnett stays wide
and he gets by Hurt

to take over the lead.

Billy, you can't keep
it pinned like that!

Holy Toledo!

Burnett has a comfortable lead,

but he's still
riding like a madman.

Somebody
better check with NASA.

This could be a moon shot!

Billy Burnett experiencing
mechanical problems,

getting towed in.

No surprise there after he's
been freewinding all day long.

This is not the way you
want to end your weekend.

Yeah, it was disappointing
to say the least.

The guys, they're
kind of pissed.

They're gonna make me
help tear the motor apart

so I can learn how it works.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Happy birthday, Mom.

Did you get the flowers
that I sent you?

The flowers are
beautiful, Billy.

Thank you so much.

Oh, your dad's here.

Do you want to talk to him?

I'm on a business
call, I can't.

Fill me in later.

I'm sorry, honey.

He's on a business call.

Okay, talk to you soon, bye.

You two should hook up.

Nope, I'm not dating
another racer again.

I didn't say date.

I said hook up.

You know me better than that.

Okay, then date him.

Look, you know he likes you

and he's not like
these other animals.

He's a good guy.

A good guy maybe,
but not a good idea.

Look, if you don't
date him, then I will.

And by the time
I'm done with him,

he'll need years of therapy.

Excuse me gentlemen,

would you like to
purchase a delicacy

to help support our orphanage?

Sure, yeah.

- How much?
- $20.

$20?

$20.

What are you buying?

I don't know, but
it's for an orphanage.

It's called squeella.

It's pureed squid,
eel, and fish.

It smells bad, but
it tastes delicious.

Um, you said 20?

Yeah.

What if I...

Just give me that, and
I'll give you all this.

Just give me the whole
cooler, everything, okay?

- Thank you, sir.
- Oh, yeah.

- Thank you very much.
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, you're very welcome.
- God bless you!

Oh, God bless you.

Well, it's for an orphanage.

So, you know, beneath
this bad dog exterior,

I got a really big
soft spot for the kids.

Oh, hi girls.

How are you?

Oh! What is that?

Don't look at me.

Dog bought it.

I don't know, it's
for an orphanage.

What are you going
to do, just...

Hey, what are you guys
doing for dinner tonight?

You want to join us?

You know, Jarid's buying.

I can't, guys.

I'm getting heat
from my camp already.

Old Dog can take
care of your teammate.

What do you say?

What can I say,
problem solved, right?

Right.

All right, let's do this.

Miss Summer, after you.

Playing hard to get, I like it.

Ah, come on now.
That's the last one.

Go big or go home.

20 bucks says you
can't do two drops.

Come on, two drops?

How about I do three drops

and loser has to
buy drinks tonight?

That's what I'm talking
about. Let's see it.

- Deal?
- Yeah, deal.

All right, ready for this?

Check this out.

One, two, three.

Free drinks!

You're disgusting.

You know what?

You and I, we've
gotta do something

about this sexual tension
between us, don't you think?

I just
puked in my mouth a little.

I'm still down.

On that note.

Yes, party time.

Let's do this.

Don't worry. I've been
touring with guys for years.

He's not that bad.

Yo, have you seen the pisser?

I got to siphon the
python before I go out.

You know what I'm saying?

It's over there.

So helpful, I love it.

Meet you guys out there.

You were saying?

Never mind.

I'm tired.

I might just call
it an early night,

but you two should hang out.

I'm meeting some
friends down by the lake

for some late night fun.

Do you wanna go?

Sure, yeah.

All right.

All right!

Whoa.

Dude, dude, my stomach's
on fire right now.

I blame you, man.

Blame me?

Why me?

'Cause you were like,
"Do all the hot sauce.

"Do the three drops."

You don't think it
has anything to do with

- the thing you just chugged?
- Mm-mm.

No, it could be a mixture of
it, but it wouldn't happen

if the base of the hot sauce
wasn't there right now.

Mm...

Oh.

Sorry, dude,
bathroom's closed.

Aw, come on, man.

You don't understand.

I'm about to have like a
nuclear assplosion here.

Someone puked.

You've gotta come
back in 10 minutes.

10 minutes?

Mm-mm, this thing's gonna
be over in two minutes.

Sorry, man.

- Oh!
- Hey, this is for women!

Yeah, well, so is this,

but his neighbor's a sick ass
you want no part of, lady.

Ugh.

It burns.

Oh, it burns so good.

All right Billy
hold on, don't go yet.

All right, ready.

Whew!

Whoa, it really cooled down.

You think I'd be
used to that by now.

You trained with Jarid
back in the day, didn't you?

Yeah, he started
helping me when I was 13.

I wouldn't be where I am
today if it wasn't for him.

And he doesn't know it,
but he was my first crush.

So first Jarid,
and then Richard...

sounds like you have
a thing for champions.

So has he shared
his secret yet?

The Jarid "holeshot"
Harper secret.

No.

I mean, that's...

that's some... that's
some legendary stuff.

You want to go back to the
motel and get some sweatshirts?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's cold.

All right.

Someone planning on
getting lucky tonight?

Dog, he put this in my hand
when... at the restaurant.

I swear.

God, I'm gonna kill him.

- Oh my God!
- Oh, oh, God!

What is that?

- Someone die in there?
- Those bastards!

You know what?

Let's get out of
these wet clothes

and put this thing to good use.

Okay, okay, slowly.

That's enough.

Okay, wait just a little bit.

Okay, okay, go slow.

Okay, oh my God.

Okay, okay, okay...

I can't do this anymore.

Okay, okay, okay...

Oh God, we're almost
there, we're almost there.

- Okay, no, no, no, no, stop!
- Come on, just a little more.

- Just a little more!
- It's getting too big!

No, no, no.

That's enough! That's enough!

Okay, we're done.

- We're done, we're done.
- Ooh!

Ooh!

Why am I holding this?

I'm not so sure about this.

Come on, it's gonna be
internet gold, I promise.

Yeah, but I don't want
those guys mad at me.

I'll edit you out, all right?

They'll never even
know you were here.

They are gonna be so surprised.

You can say that again.

Whew, I better
call it a night.

I'm done, I can't
take anything else.

Are you
ready for the number one

exotic dance contest
in the country?

Yeah!

Still heading home?

Nope, this'll wait.

Let's welcome our
first contestant tonight.

This is Summer!

No way!

Oh yeah!

Show us your boobs!

Oh my God, yes.

Oh my God, show us those nips!

Oh yeah.

That's him! He's been
harassing me all night.

Come on, buddy.

Time to go.

No, no, no, no.

What? Come on.

Jarid, Jarid.

Please, please, not right now.

Please, Nuke, please tell him.

Come on, please!

Oh my God.

Well, we could go
with Dog right now,

- or we could...
- Dog who?

Yeah. that's what I'm saying.

Oh!

Come on, so what.

Come on, not tonight, please.

Look at this girl, come on!

Come on, please, please, please.

I didn't do anything wrong.

I had to go to the bathroom.

The guy's bathroom was closed.

- You're done.
- I'm done?

- You're done.
- Done for the night.

All right.

Hey, big guy,
how was your night?

I'm not emotionally at a place

to even talk about it right
now, Jarid. Thank you.

You shoulda seen me
in there, first place.

Oh, hey, Dog, thanks for
the drinks for the night!

And thank you for
cheering me on, champ.

Well, thank you for
throwing me your top.

All right, I'm going
to go take a hot shower,

which is like a normal
shower, but with me in it.

I got nothing.

Hey, why don't you ask her

if she's dressed like a general,

because your privates are
standing at attention.

Shut up Pepe-la-puke!

That laugh drives me nuts.

Well, it's official.

This is the worst
night of my life.

I mean, what else could
go wrong, you know?

I don't know.

Oh!

I think I just sharted my pants.

You know, my team manager
has already warned me

to steer clear of you, and
to stay focused on racing.

Why are you so worried
about what your team thinks?

Any other team would
take you in a heartbeat.

Yeah but if I get fired,

my contract says I can't
race for anyone else

until after this season.

I guess this we'll have to
keep this our little secret.

Okay.

I don't know.

A part of me wants
to be with you,

but, a part of me knows I need
to stay focused on racing.

Well, let's just focus
on the parts of you

that want to be with me.

They say if you have to
keep a relationship a secret,

then you probably
shouldn't be in it.

Yeah well, they also
say you should live life

near the edge because the
view is so much better.

Wow, getting deep.

You sound surprised.

Come on, I have
so much on the line.

If I clinch the women's
title before the tour ends,

they're gonna let me race in
the men's class in the finals.

I mean, I'll make history.

I'll be the first woman to
compete against the men.

Hmm, so we'll be racing
against each other.

Yeah, I wonder
who'll get second?

I wonder
where you learned that?

It's go time.

You need to take a shower
and throw those underwear away.

- I'm sorry, dude.
- Yeah.

This is the worst
night of my life.

I'm so uncomfortable.

I'm probably gonna
have to drive the truck

into the lake.

Yeah well, you might
as well throw me in there

when you do it.

Well, that's just fantastic!

What do you
think you're doing!

Get off of me!

Get off of me!

Smell that, smell that,

- smell that.
- What did you eat?

What are you doing, Harper?

Get off of me!

Kelly?

That's even better!

We're
at the halfway point

of round six in Atlanta.

Richard Hurt has been
riding aggressively

and has lead from the start,

but for some reason, his
lap times have dropped off.

Billy Burnett has worked
his way through the pack,

and is now all over our leader

as they begin to lap the field.

Hurt looks over at Burnett
and leaves the door wide open.

Oh, there's contact and
Burnett almost goes down!

Don't play into it, Billy!

Get away from him!

Going into the
turn and Burnett retaliates.

He puts the nose of his ski

right into the
back of Hurt's leg.

Billy, settle
down and race smart!

These
two are going at it.

And there's contact again.

And again!

Burnett tags him back and they
head into the backstretch.

Burnett and Hurt
are battling it out.

Burnett goes by, but he's
carrying too much speed

and overshoots the turn.

Richard Hurt goes wide too.

Oh, Hurt takes Burnett out!

They're fighting in the
middle of the race course!

I've never seen
anything like it!

An official is trying
to break it up,

but he's having no effect.

The rivalry between these
two is out of control,

and the race director
is already on his way

down to the beach.

Trading fiberglass
is one thing,

but what you two
were doing out there

is gonna get somebody
busted up in a bad way!

One more incident from
either one of you,

and you're off the tour!

Do we have an understanding?

What kind of
amateur crap was that!

You're not listening to a damn
word I'm saying out there!

Why do I even waist my time?

Come on, Billy.

Not good.

Not good at all.

It's not broken, okay?

I'm just in a lot of pain
right now, all right?

I should probably talk
to Dad about this.

Is he around?

He wants to talk to you.

Hey, Billy.

Sounds like you had
a tough weekend.

Yeah, you could say that.

Look, dad, I know you went
to bat getting me a sponsor

and all, but things aren't
really going the way that I

thought that they would.

I mean, I'm pretty much in
a no-win situation here,

so I think I'm going to just
cut it short and come home.

Why would you want to do that?

You got a successful
program going.

Grim Ripper's sales are up 6%,

and Jim Anderson
called me last week

to tell me how happy he is.

You gotta hang in there.

That's great,
Dad, sales are up.

Okay, we'll talk next week.

And um,... we love you.

Oh.

He wanted me to apologize
to Jim for not winning yet.

So you giving up?

Is this where you
give me a pep talk

and tell me that
winners don't quit?

That would be pretty hypocritical of
you, wouldn't it?

Were you that scared?

Afraid the great Jarid
Harper wouldn't win again,

so you quit instead, huh?

So what are you
running home to, huh?

A father who sponsored a team

just to get rid of his
pain-in-the-ass kid for the summer.

Look, I don't need this!

Yeah, you do.

So do I.

Need someone to talk to?

I'm a good listener.

I thought you
couldn't talk to me?

I can't, but I'm here.

Slumming again, Kelly?

We were just talking, Richard.

Do you mind?

Yeah, I do.

We were both told an hour
ago that the truck was...

I know what I was told!

Kelly, your duffle bag's open.

Your shit's not packed.

I swear to God, it looks like
a hand grenade went off...

I'll be
there in a minute!

Okay, here we go.

Hey, hey, hey, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not worth it.

Not worth it, Billy.

Nice try, Richard.

Provoke him into punching you

so he gets kicked off the tour?

You know, if you want to
continue down this road with me,

I'll be happy to
show you the way.

The truck leaves in two
minutes, with or without you.

Promise me you won't quit.

Look, Billy, I owe
you an apology, okay?

I shouldn't have
said what I said.

Well, neither should I.

Listen, Billy, I owe
you an apology too, man.

I mean, this whole
thing was my idea.

But you gotta to know,
regardless of how we got here,

we're in it to
win it, all right?

The monks taught
me this philosophy.

The cure for everything
in life is saltwater,

tears, sweat, and the ocean.

You've cried your tears.

You've had the ocean.

Now it's time to sweat.

Look, if you pace
yourself in the surf,

you won't wear yourself
out and make mistakes.

Well, maybe if you helped
me to get the holeshot,

then I wouldn't have to push
so hard coming from behind.

What do you want,
more horsepower?

You know what I want.

You used to get the
holeshot all the time.

They say you had a secret.

Well, show me you
can do it my way first,

then we'll talk, deal?

Deal.

Round seven of
the Azeo Distilleries Tour,

and Bill Burnett is out in
front, leading Richard Hurt.

Hurt has tried repeatedly
to retake the lead,

but has not been able
to make it happen.

You're doing great, Billy.

Stay consistent.

Burnett has been
fast, smooth and consistent.

Let's take a look
back at the pass

that had the fans cheering.

Burnett worked his way
up through the pack

and remained patient,
pressuring Hurt,

waited for the right moment,

and then made this great
pass to take over the lead.

Hear we go, the
white flag is out!

The final lap!

Hurt turns it loose.

They're side by side.

Burnett holds him off,

but Hurt is trying
everything to get by.

He knows it's now or never.

Hurt squeezes by on the inside,

but Burnett has the
line on the next turn.

Hurt dives inside.

Burnett takes it back again.

What a battle!

Into the backstretch, they're
coming up on lapped traffic.

Just three turns to go

for Billy Burnett to
take home his first win.

He's gonna win it!

Two turns to go.

Burnett gets held up
behind a lapped rider,

but it looks like Hurt
is far enough behind.

Oh! The lapped rider
broke the buoy loose.

Burnett misses the buoy

and has to go back
and pick it up.

Richard Hurt inherits the win,

but what a phenomenal
ride from Billy Burnett.

That a boy Billy!

That's how you use your mind.

Get out of your head

and listen to this guy.

Second place, hey,
that's first loser.

Congratulations, guys.

So proud of you

I want to punch you so
bad my fist has a boner.

Don't worry about that prick.

Ready.

All right.

So there's only one other
person in this world

that I've ever shared
this secret with,

and he's standing
right behind you.

Yesterday, you earned it.

So, if you're ready, I
gonna show you the secret.

Now, when you line up
behind the rubber band,

you want to swing
your arms, okay?

Just like this.

How is that gonna help
me get the holeshot?

Look closely at the
rubber band, grasshopper.

Come on, get in there.

Look close, now focus on
the water droplets, okay?

Let her go, Dog.

You watch the drops.

They start to fall as soon
as the band starts to move.

That's how you get the jump.

Pretty cool, huh?

What is he doing?

Today was a big day for him,
sharing that secret with you.

Right now, he's giving
thanks to the universe.

He is in this deep
spiritual dimension.

I mean nothing could
break his connection.

Really?

Yeah, nothing.

He gets deep in that zone.

Take a video.

Are you serious?

All right, make it
quick, hurry up.

Idiot.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

We are fortunate
today to be witnessing

Jarid Harper becoming
one with the universe.

I'm told that when
he's in this state,

there is nothing can
disturb his chakra.

All right, take it back.

No. What are you doing?

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Oh, that's not funny.

I told him not to do that when
you're in your spiritual...

It was his idea!

I know you were
in your dimension

- and nobody could break it.
- He told me to do it.

Look at him now.
His ass is all wet.

- He told me to do it.
- Oh my God, oh my God.

Don't worry about it.
Just go back to your...

Go back to your, go back to
your connection. It's fine.

- He's an asshole.
- Go back into it.

You'll get back into it.

And I love these shirts
you made for the team.

So you're happy?

Happy?

Is a duck's ass water tight?

Sales figures are coming in

higher than our
best projections.

Oh, that reminds me,

Ted and I on Sunday are
going to this sports bar

that's showing
Billy's race live.

You guys gotta join us.

Um, Nancy I think made
plans for us on Sunday, but...

Nonsense, a chance to
see your son in action?

Team Grim Ripper is there.

I love it.

I'll talk to her about it.

Hot damn!

Nice watch.

- Oh yeah, you like that?
- Yeah.

I landed us a local sponsor.

- Boom!
- Big Grand Father Clock Shop?

Mm-hmm.

They gave me the Pound Foolish
Hot Water Watch, waterproof.

The thing's worth
more than my life.

And, check this out.

For running that sticker,
they gave me two.

Boom! You're welcome.

Whoa, nice!

I know, I know.

Whoa!

How do you like my new shorts?

Wow, well you definitely
went shopping with Nuke.

Your grandma called me

and said she wanted her
shower curtain back.

Yeah!

Hey do not despair my friend.

I have something for you too.

A book on how to pick up women.

You know, I should write my
own book one of these days.

Yeah right, more
like a leaflet.

No, no it's true.

You've heard of foreplay?

Well, I invented the
five play.

What is that?

Ask your mother.

Here.

Oh man, it's so humid today.

I'm not gonna wear a wetsuit.

At least wear a two
mill for protection.

And hide my new shorts?

Oh, no.

You wouldn't want to
hide those classy things.

You should wear them
to the party tonight.

Oh yeah.

Wait, what's this big party
everybody keeps talking about?

Oh, it's an annual classic.

The owner of Azeo Vodka
likes to throw a big blowout

before we head to the finals.

Should we warn him about Mona,

or let him find out on his own?

Who's Mona?

Mona Lott.

Mona what?

Mona Lott.

That's her name, and
that's her reputation.

Her last name
used to be Little.

But after Nuke, it became a lot.

Oh my God, no, no.

She's just a hot cougar
who owns the club,

and she hosts these
parties every year

so she can scope out
the new fresh meat.

Be careful Billy.

You will be filet
mignon on her menu.

Nice shorts, bro.

They make those for men?

All right
Billy, get focused.

Here we go.

Show 'em your ass.

Look at that
jump by Billy Burnett!

I haven't seen
holeshot like that

since the last time
Jarid Harper raced.

Hot damn!

Billy Burnett
flying out in front,

taking full advantage of the
clean water ahead of him.

Richard Hurt got a bad start

and is well back in the pack.

I like being first, boys.

Richard
Hurt is moving up.

He's now running in sixth.

Burnett catches an
edge and goes down!

He scrambles to get up
and, uh-oh, check it out,

we have a full moon!

Now it's a party.

Houston,
we have a problem.

Well at least he's
finally taking your advice

and showing them his ass.

We've noticed
Burnett's handle poll sticker

is losing letters.

We're not sure what it says now.

All right Billy,
white flag's out.

Richard's coming up behind you.

Stay tight in the turns
and you've got this.

Check
out the sticker

on Burnett's handle poll now.

You know what they say,
everything is bigger in Texas.

Has your boy got a new sponsor

or is he just proud
of his anatomy?

Come on.

That's great.

Just a
few more turns to go.

Billy Burnett is holding
off Richard Hurt,

and on his way to winning
his first national event

with his very own unique style.

There's the checkered flag!

Burnett has done it.

He takes home his first win!

Yeah! Yes!

Yes, we dit it!

That's the
biggest smile we've seen

from Jarid Harper
all season long.

Take a look at the
top 15 finishers,

as we head down to
talk to our winner.

Hey, hey bring it down!

Bring it down!

Um, oh!

Well, as my mechanic
always says,

life is like a bottle of
Grim Ripper Hot Sauce.

What you do today can come
back to burn your ass tomorrow.

Oh, and I also want
to bring this guy in.

I owe a big thanks
to Jarid Harper.

I mean, I wouldn't
be here without him.

And this guy, he's been
like a father to me, so...

Well,
congratulations Billy.

I'm sure Jarid is proud of
you and your team right now.

I know this has been
a hard fought battle

to get you here today.

Billy Burnett's win this weekend

now moves him into second in
points behind Richard Hurt.

Kelly Weber continues
her undefeated season,

and her win today gives her
an insurmountable points lead

going into the finals.

Congratulations.

Congrats to you too.

Another championship
clinched, huh?

Yes, and now I'll get to race
with the men in the finals.

So excited.

Guess I better
train extra hard now.

Yeah, I think so.

Hey, nice ass by the way.

Hmm, I was just trying
to get your attention.

Oh, well, you got it.

Are you gonna go to that
the big party tonight?

Oh, no.

Uh, they banned Richard

after an incident last
season, and our manager says

our entire team is
boycotting, politics.

But it's okay, we're leaving
extra early for Havasu,

and going straight there to
test for the finals, so...

Come on, come help
celebrate my first win.

I wish I could, I'm sorry.

I have to lay low.

Oh, she'll be there.

Gotta go. Bye!

Hey thanks, Jim.

No thank you, Doug.

I'm very excited.

I'm very excited about
everything, okay.

- All right.
- I'm taking these boys out.

I might not bring them back.

All right, have fun, have fun!

Hey, this is Billy.

Leave a message cause I
am going, going, gone!

Welcome to the party.

Enjoy yourselves.

This dog is ready
to hunt tonight!

Yeah, well, did you read
that book Nuke got you?

Nah, I tried.

It was a bunch of crap
about listening to women

and respecting their feelings.

I don't know, it seems
like a lot of work.

Well, could you
at just least try

to use a little subtlety
in your approach tonight?

Sure.

For you, champ, it'll be a
kinder, gentler, Dog tonight,

all right?

Hello.

Welcome to the
Azeo Vodka party.

Well, thank you so much.

That's quite a
grip you got there.

Yeah, I grew up
on a dairy farm,

and that's my tit
squeezing hand.

That's quite a coincidence,
'cause it's mine too.

Eight
seconds, wow, good job.

- Amazing,
this guy's still single?

Hey, Ryan.

Thanks so much for having us.

Hey Billy, this is Ryan Horn,
the owner of Azeo Vodka.

- Ryan, this...
- I know who he is.

Nice ridin' today, Billy.

And the way you gave 'ol Dick
Hurt the brown eye like that,

I nearly pissed myself.

Come on in, boys,
let's get after it.

- All right.
- Sweet.

Jarid Harper!

Mona, how you doing?

Even better if you tell me

you came back to take
me up on my offer.

Oh, you know, Mona,

I've been known to do
a little pinch hitting

for Jarid from time to time.

Speaking of pinch hitters,
young Billy Burnett,

I'm having a hall of fame
ceremony later tonight

and I'm confident
you'll be inducted.

I'll come find you.

Run.

She is going to come find you.

Dude, why are you
doing this to yourself?

Let's go somewhere else.

I've got my reasons.

Look at this guy, sickening.

Oui, oui, I am zee
king of bullshit.

If you don't believe
me, just ask me.

I am zee best. What an idiot.

You know, we may
have to reel Billy in.

He's starting to
party pretty hard.

Don't worry, I'll
keep an eye on him.

Great, I feel a
whole lot better now.

Good, you should.

- Cheers.
- Cheers, gentlemen.

- To victory.
- To...

- Ugh.
- Billy, come on.

Oh, Billy come on.

Yo...

Do you mind
if we take a picture?

Not at all.

Oh, thank you so much.

- Oh, of you guys?
- Yeah, please.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Oh, okay.
- Sorry.

Say, "Doggy style."

Uh-uh.

You are
beautiful, honey.

- There you go.
- Thank you so much.

I am such a fan.

Thank you.

I'm a fan of yours.

Mm!

Man, this is unbelievable.

Billy's in the middle
of a feeding frenzy.

Nuke's got a net full.

You, you've got one on the
hook and just let one go.

Me, I can't even get a nibble.

Maybe if you were
fishing with a bigger worm?

That's hilarious.

Hey, what's your deal anyway?

I mean, you got all
those hot chicks on tour.

Why don't just pluck one out

and make her your trophy
wife or something?

There's more to relationships
than physical attraction.

Okay, yeah well,
if you leave now,

you can catch the Katherine
Heigl double feature.

No, I mean, I get it.

I could get on that
page, you know.

That's what I'm looking
for here tonight,

just like a deep meaningless
relationship, you know?

No, no, all right,
seriously, seriously,

seriously, I get where
you're coming from.

I would just give anything
to like find a special girl

to just you know, love,
confide in, to cherish,

and just like respect
everything, just

Oh my God, look at the
taters on this little model.

I'm so sick of this crap.

Let's go.

There's the man of the hour.

You haven't had your
Mona Lott shot, have you?

Um...

Open wide, I'm coming
in.

Oops, let me get that.

Kelly?

No, no, Kelly!

Dude, you're losing it.

She's not even worth it.

I'm not losing anything!

Yeah well, we
could lose our jobs.

Are you with me or against me?

All right.

Yeah, let's do it.

All right, cool.

Kelly, Kelly!

Congratulations on getting
in Mona's hall of fame.

- I was...
- Just go, I've got this.

I wasn't kissing her.

I thought you were different
from the rest of these guys!

She was crazy about you!

She was the best thing
that's ever happened to you,

and you just threw it away!

Look, stay away from my friends!

I wasn't kissing...

Hey, Billy, your
ski's on fire!

What?

My ski.

Hey, Jim.

Hey, bud, I just wanted
to call and let you know

I won't be able to wire
you that next payment.

What's going on?

Um, I'm going on vacation.

Vacation?

Sausage was discovered in
the sauce.

Sausage, I don't understand,
why is that a problem?

I mean, you're not advertising
it's kosher are you?

It wasn't kosher with my wife.

It was my sausage in
my secretary's sauce.

She's pissed.

She turned my books
over to the IRS.

The FBI is here now
seizing everything.

Oh God, I'm gonna
probably do 5 to 10, bud.

Oh! Oh!

Avenge me, Douglas!

Jim?

- What's that about?
- Nah,

- Just Jim being Jim.
- Hmm.

Hi, it's Kelly.

Catch me if you can, or
just leave me a message.

Hey, hey, Kelly, it's me.

I don't know if
you heard or not,

but I lost my sponsor
and everything,

so I'm not going to be
seeing you at the finals.

Listen, I really
want to talk to you

and explain everything
that happened.

If you could give me
a call that would,

that would be...

great.

You can crash
here for a while,

until you're ready
to head back to LA.

That's the last
place I want to go.

I can just hear my Dad.

Somehow this is all
gonna be my fault.

Your choice.

I don't know if I'd want
to be here in Havasu

when the championships
are going on.

Just saying.

Kelly!

Kelly!

Shouldn't you get back to LA?

You know, open up your shop?

I can't work like this.

I feel like a jackass, man.

I mean, I'm the one
that talked Billy's dad

into this whole mess.

And now, they aren't
even speaking.

Well, you kind of talked
us all into this mess.

Look, it's not your
fault, all right?

We're in this together.

We'll get through it together.

How?

How are we gonna get
through this, hm?

Ski's destroyed.

We're not seeing a dime of that
money Grimm Ripper owes us.

So much for all that universe
will make it right stuff, huh?

What are we even doing here?

What are we doing here?

The monks, they ah...
pray like everything

depends on the universe.

Work like everything
depends on you.

What is that?

What's the plan?

You can't just say
that and then run away.

I didn't train with the monks.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Hi, you must be Nancy.

Oh, hi.

Jarid Harper.

Hi!

Oh yes, I've heard
all about you.

Come on in.

Lovely to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

I was wondering if I
could speak with Douglas.

Yes, yes, he's in the office.

Douglas, Jarid is here.

Thank you.

I'm just wrapping up a call.

Come on in.

Right.

No, just text me.

Okay, yeah, it'll be there.

Okay, see you, bye.

Nice to finally meet you, Jarid.

You too, Douglas.

I'm sorry about the
sponsorship not working out.

Nobody could've
seen that coming.

Yeah, it's a bummer.

Hey, grab a seat, man.

When did you guys get back?

I haven't heard from Billy.

Oh, well, he's...
staying with a friend.

He must be disappointed.

Yeah, yeah, on a
number of levels.

He knows about
the arrangement?

Yeah, you know,
he's a smart kid.

Hell, he's not a kid anymore.

You'd be surprised.

You know, he's second in points.

He could've won
the championship.

You know, I ah...

I lost my dad when I was 16.

The really sad part is that

we hadn't been getting
along for years.

I actually thought I
hated him at the time.

The reality now is,..

I'd give anything
to have him back.

Don't think that
I don't feel bad...

about my relationship...

not working with my son but,..

I'd do anything to fix it.

Look, I'm sure
you do feel bad.

I mean, anyone who's received
the world's greatest dad award

kind of has to feel bad.

Wow.

You know, I made one hell of
a mistake giving up on myself

when I should've fought through

and finished things
the right way.

Don't give up on your son
when he still has a chance.

Well, so what are you,..
what are you thinking?

Billy.

What are you doing here?

Remember this?

It's been a long time
since I've been that dad.

I want to apologize for
not being there for you,

and I need help
solving a big problem.

I mean, should it be
called team Burnett,

or team Camaro?

What're you talking about?

What are you doing here?

Team Burnett has
a nice ring to it.

Yeah, I like
the sound of that.

Well, it's just too bad

you didn't own an old
classic Ford woody.

We could've been
called Team Woody.

That would've been epic.

Oh okay, Dog,
Team Burnett it is.

Your dad sold his car so you
can go to the championships.

Dad, that was your, your...

My baby.

I sold it for you, man.

I can't believe
you would do that.

Well, are we going to stand
around here yapping about it,

or are we going to go racing?

Everybody in here.

On three, Team Burnett.

This is gonna be
the greatest comeback

in Team Burnett history.

One, two, three.

Team Burnett!

The first woman to
compete against the men

at world finals.

What are you feeling right now?

So many things.

It's quite amazing.

A lot of dreams are coming
true today, so it's big.

That's what she
said.

I've been to the top of this
mountain four times already.

I've got the points lead,

and I only need to
finish 10th or better

to take home the championship.

So, would you bet against me?

My mechanic, he's been
up for three days straight

building my new ski.

My entire team has been amazing.

My message to the competition

is to nut up and
put the wood to it.

Let's get it on.

May the best man win.

Kelly, I've been trying
to call you for weeks.

Look, I promise you I
didn't do anything, I...

Let's just focus on what's
important today, okay?

You can feel
the electricity in the air

and the stage is set.

Billy Burnett's team has
burned the midnight oil

putting together a new Pro
Force 2.0, but it's untested.

And rumor has it that
Broward Motorsports

has upgraded Richard Hurt's
ski with 20 more horsepower

than he's had all season long.

It's going to be interesting.

So how you holding up, pal?

Oh man, I am running
on fumes, but we made it.

Yeah, well, you'll
sleep good tonight, huh?

Mm-hm.

You got this.

What's on your mind, Billy?

How are we gonna
compete against Richard

when he's running on
20 more horsepower?

Even if he does
get the holeshot,

it's not gonna matter.

Once it gets rough out
there, it's all rider.

You can outride him.

Just go out there
and show them your ass.

Frankie
Zapata on his Flyboard Air

doing a flyby, as we
prepare for the race

we've all been waiting for.

Fasten your seat belts, folks.

We're about to go ballistic
here in Lake Havasu.

Blake Corning lights the fuse.

- Here we go!
- It's dead!

- What?
- It's dead, it's dead!

Oh, come on, come on! Help
me get it out! Let's go!

Burnett
has a problem on the line

and they're shutting them down.

He'll have two minutes
to get it sorted out.

The start button
wire's been cut.

Short the solenoid.

I'm trying.

Less
than a minute left,

and I would not want to be

in Billy Burnett's
shoes right now.

Come on, come on, come on!

15 seconds, you
have 15 seconds!

- Come on, Dog!
- I'm trying.

The
two-minute hold has expired.

Burnett's team is frantically
trying to get him going,

but it doesn't look good.

They're off the line

and Billy Burnett is
left dead on the beach.

It's a drag race to the
first turn, and check it out,

Kelly Weber has the holeshot.

Can you believe it?

The first woman to
race with the men,

and she's out in front.

Come on, come on!

Kelly Weber
leading the pack on lap one.

On the beach, Billy
Burnett's team

is still trying
to get him going.

He may be able to
get into the race,

but him dream for a
championship is long gone.

Richard Hurt is
now in second place

and putting the
pressure on Kelly Weber,

but she is standing strong.

Come on, come on, come on!

- Come on, come on.
- Oh, I need sleep, guys.

- Come on, come on!
- Stay ready!

Stay ready!

Stay ready! Stay ready!

- Come on!
- Come On!

Yes!

Oh my God. Go. Go. Billy.

They've got
Billy Burnett's ski fired up.

He is up and running.

- Go!
- That's it, baby!

This thing is not over,
Billy. It's not over!

Kelly
Weber out in front

holding off Richard Hurt.

Hurt gets by.

Weber dives back inside
and retakes the lead!

She is one tough competitor,

tougher than a $2 steak,

and determined to make
history this weekend.

Take your time, Richard.

Ride smart.

Get
her out of my way!

Richard Hurt
trying everything in his arsenal

to get by his teammate.

Hurt pulls next to Kelly Weber.

They're side by side.

I warned you!

He bumps her, oh!

Hurt sends Kelly Weber
right into the buoy.

Unbelievable!

He just took out
his own teammate!

And the crowd can't
believe what just happened.

Billy Burnett has caught
the back of the pack

and is starting to
pick riders off.

And attrition begins
to take it's toll,

as riders are dropping out
with mechanical problems.

Kelly Weber has
remounted her ski.

She signals she's okay,

but she no doubt had her
bell rung on that get off.

Back on our leader Richard Hurt,

out in front and he's
absolutely flying.

Billy Burnett continues to
battle his way through the pack.

He is currently in 12th.

The halfway mark,

and Richard Hurt still
has a commanding lead

over the rest of the field.

How we looking?

Well, Richard's slowing down.

He's probably saving his motor.

We're gaining, but it's
not going to be enough.

We're gonna need a miracle.

You smell that?

Smell what?

A miracle.

Richard just went by.

I smell burning rubber.

He's not slowing down
to save his engine.

He's burning an exhaust hose.

Billy, listen.

You're running a great race
just like we practiced,

but we're changing plans.

I want you to ride
like the old Billy.

Pin it to win it, baby.

Pin it to win it!

Burnett has
turned on the afterburners

and is on the ragged edge.

He's blowing by
riders, left and right.

He cuts off a rider
just before the log jump

and sends him into it!

The crowd is loving it,

as Billy Burnett has
pulled out all the stops.

You think that helps?

Yes.

Burnett is flying!

He's in third place, and
is reeling in second!

We've gotta get
closer, come on.

Richard
Hurt remains in front,

but his lead has dropped
to just four seconds.

At this point, I'm
sure he's aware

that Burnett is coming up quick.

Burnett gets by Kole
Cramer for second!

That's what I'm talking about!

Bump it right there!

B-burn now!

Okay, Billy, here's the plan.

Do not pass Richard.

What?

What kind of plan is that?

What kind of plan is that?

Just trust me on this.

Push him as hard as you
can without passing him.

Richard
Hurt in front,

but Billy Burnett is
rapidly closing the gap!

Burnett takes the inside line!

He tries again!

They're side by side!

The crowd is going crazy!

Richard Hurt is doing
everything he can

to hold onto his lead,

but Burnett is on him like
a dog on a piece of meat.

Richard, be smart.

You don't need to win this.

There's no
way he's beating me!

The
white flag comes out.

One lap to go!

Come on.

Burn, you son of a gun, burn.

All right, Billy,
take us home.

Burnett sets him up.

He dives inside,

trying to get the drive
down the backstretch.

And Burnett goes by!

Richard Hurt is slowing.

He's got a problem.

His ski has died.

Hurt is down!

Hurt is down!

Billy
Burnett is going to do it.

From dead last to first,

what an amazing ride
for this young man.

Here it is, the checkered flag!

Billy Burnett has overcome
an incredible setback

on the start and done it.

He has won the battle,

but it looks like Richard
Hurt will win the war.

He's up and running and
going to nurse it home

for at least a
10th place finish.

Whoa, what's that all about?

If Richard finishes
in the top 10,

he wins the championship.

What's that?
What's that? What?

I'm gonna go
grab the ski, okay?

Hurt's ski dies
again and he drops to fourth.

He gets it re-lit, but it's
not firing on all cylinders.

Two more riders go by,
dropping Hurt to sixth,

and the crowd has
picked up on it,

as he continues
to drop positions.

Seventh!

Hurt is limping
toward the finish line

30 feet away and
his ski dies again!

He's down!

He's down in the water again!

Here comes another rider.

Eighth!

Hurt's
ski is completely dead.

He's trying to swim it
across the finish line.

He looks back, and here
comes another rider.

He'll drop down to ninth.

Ninth!

Hurt is a mere
20 feet from the finish line.

Here comes another rider

putting him on the
bubble in 10th place.

10th!

He
could lose it all!

Hurt looks exhausted.

Here comes another rider,

and it's his
teammate Kelly Weber!

Kelly, do
not pass Richard!

Do you understand?

Do not pass Richard!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no...

Kelly
Weber is slowing down.

She's stopping
behind Richard Hurt.

And look at this, there's no
one else left on the course!

Richard Hurt is gonna
win the championship

by the skin of his teeth.

Billy Burnett rode the
race of a lifetime,

but the championship wasn't
in the cards for him today.

That's perfect, Kelly.

Great job. Just sit tight.

Come on, Kelly.

Come on, come on, come on.

Richard
Hurt is just 15 feet

away from victory!

Kelly, great
teamwork out there.

Do you read me?

Kelly, do you read me?

Kelly?

Come on, Kelly.

You know what to do. Come on.

Come on.

Do it for love, baby.

Richard
Hurt is just 10 feet away

from making history.

Kelly, using team strategy

to allow Richard Hurt to
take home the championship.

But wait, Kelly
Weber goes for it!

She drops Richard
Hurt to 11th place!

I don't believe this!

11th, yeah!

Billy Burnett
wins the championship!

He wins the championship!

I guess I do have a
thing for champions.

You did it!

This is my son!

This is my son!

This is your son.

I'm so proud of you, man.

Coach come here, man.

Come here.

Team Burnett, baby! Team
Burnett! Team Burnett!

Woo!

Don't think you're getting
out of here unscathed.

Come on, what did I do now?

I hear you're the
reason got Billy here.

You done good.

No, you're nuts.

I'm not falling for
whatever you're up to.

You need help.

You're the one
that's gonna need help.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Sam, take a look at this.

She was taking pictures

during the starting
line National Anthem.

Looks like Richard was
a little distracted.

Are you kidding me?

Seriously, Richard?

You're suspending for a year.

This is Broward Motorsports.

We don't cheat.

You're fired, go find
yourself another sponsor.

Ready or not, here I come.

Are you ready for me?

Jarid,
do you have the line,

or do you want me to feed you?

I got this.

All right.

Shoot.

That's
what I like to hear.

- And action.
- All right, be heads up now.

Jarid's gonna be out for blood.

Show 'em your ass.

Richard's
gonna be out for blood.

- Yep, not me.
- Not you.

See, I got this.

How are we looking?

Well, Richard's slowing down.

He's probably saving his motor.

Shit.

You want to try that again?

Sorry.

Did you want to say something?

Hey Billy, what'd you
want from Burger King?

All right, so listen, I
tried that five play thing

and I can't quite get the thumb.

- I need something.
- Dog, dog...

Give me something.

Dog, you're not supposed
to try it on yourself.

Oh, okay.

You're supposed to
meet a woman first.

Very funny.

Hey, I tell you
a secret, okay?

Do not tell anyone.

All right.

I'm not French.

Wait, wait, wait.

Are you serious?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Son of a bitch!

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull