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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,086 Open your mouth. 2 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,150 I don't want to. 3 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,888 Open your mouth. 4 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,733 It's gonna happen, buddy. Don't fight it. 5 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:25,858 But I don't feel safe. 6 00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,233 Eric... 7 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,431 my darts team has a match in two hours 8 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,863 and I need to practice. 9 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,168 Now stop being such a freakin' baby 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,230 and open your mouth. 11 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,267 What if you get one in and I choke? 12 00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:35,872 Classy problem. 13 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,113 Now open up. 14 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,113 Yes! 15 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,182 ERIC: Oh... 16 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,680 It was delicious. 17 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,081 My fear actually heightened my sense of pleasure. 18 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,283 Do another one. 19 00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:48,215 Ooh! Ooh. 20 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,219 That's all right. 21 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,620 Here you go. Try another one. 22 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,051 Oh! 23 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,246 Holy crap. 24 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,557 What? That's where you wanted it, right? 25 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,718 Yeah. 26 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:56,756 Yeah, just keep going. 27 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:57,730 CARYN: Ow! 28 00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:58,728 Right? 29 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,259 Whoa-ho! Hey, hot stuff! 30 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,625 Mm-mmm. 31 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:03,963 I have a third date tonight with that guy Jonah. 32 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,267 And you know what that means! 33 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,369 That Jonah isn't real. 34 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,900 I wasn't talking to you. 35 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,565 And this one is real! 36 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,443 Hey. How do I look? 37 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,942 Fantastic. 38 00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,213 Your bracelet's at war with your necklace. 39 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,442 Make a choice. 40 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,306 Pull that dress down and lose the scarf. 41 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:18,945 Like I care what you think! 42 00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:20,149 (whispers): Hey. 43 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,751 Is he right? Yeah. 44 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,253 (sighs) Hey, by the way, 45 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,315 if any of you guys are in the mood 46 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:26,393 to watch some all-girl 47 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,660 dart action tonight, 48 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:28,958 come by Truck Stop at 10:00. 49 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:29,989 In. 50 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,763 Sorry, I can't make it. 51 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,562 Got my overnight bag packed. 52 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,564 Who is this guy, anyway? Oh, my God, 53 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,926 he is this amazing, successful entrepreneur 54 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,665 that has his very own transport service. 55 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,900 He sends town cars 56 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,674 and limos all over the city 57 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,243 to pick up VIPs and celebrities. 58 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,342 Taxi! 59 00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:47,143 Have a good night, you guys! 60 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,423 (cheering) 61 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,618 Yes! Yes! 62 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:56,579 Yes! That was awesome! 63 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,687 April. 64 00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,148 All we need is a 15 or a 16. 65 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:02,018 So just breathe in... 66 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,585 and visualize your energy 67 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,164 flowing through your hand. And remember... Okay. 68 00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:08,363 the dart throws itself. 69 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:09,226 Okay. 70 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,131 What the hell was that?! 71 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,367 Are you kidding me?! 72 00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:16,142 You said that that dart throws itself. 73 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,170 And it didn't. 74 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:19,365 So your problem really is with the dart. 75 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:20,767 You didn't even practice this week, did you? 76 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,338 I'm a doctor. 77 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,176 I do not have time to throw candy 78 00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,982 into people's mouths! 79 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,353 Now just relax. 80 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,321 (grunts) Have fun. 81 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,779 It's a game. 82 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,217 There you are. 83 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:34,192 Oh... wow. 84 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:36,792 Check out all these fine ladies. 85 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:39,634 And I don't see any dudes in here to compete with us. 86 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,230 You know, cuz, 87 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,962 I got me a good feeling about this. 88 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,397 Tonight... 89 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:48,173 could get interesting. 90 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,202 Indeed it could. 91 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,337 Go get 'em, tiger. 92 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:51,741 Oh, there's Zara. 93 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:52,972 I'm gonna go watch the darts. 94 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,106 All right. 95 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,353 Oh. Date's over already? 96 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:04,293 Guess he was real. Shut up! 97 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,759 Zara, I need to talk to you. 98 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,258 I need you to move. 99 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,760 I just had the worst night of my life! 100 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,861 It's going to get a lot worse if you don't move. 101 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,233 She means it. 102 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,432 Don't learn the hard way. No, no, no. 103 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,333 She's my roommate. She's actually very nice at home. 104 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,495 You are far from home, young one. Very far. 105 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,104 Hey. 106 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,435 How was your night with... my drink? 107 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,612 Help yourself. 108 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,839 Stosh, please don't start with me. 109 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,605 I'm very upset right now. 110 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,453 Okay, all right. I'm-I'm sorry. 111 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,709 Tell me what happened. 112 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,446 I got lumped. 113 00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:35,422 "Lumped"? 114 00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:38,615 Dumped in the middle of getting la... 115 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,722 Oh. 116 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,053 Very traumatic. 117 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,385 At least you had the composure 118 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,434 to give it a clever nickname. 119 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,804 Come here. Give me a hug. 120 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,228 Come on, bring it in. 121 00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,904 Come here. 122 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,632 That's it, that's the stuff. 123 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,297 It's such a humiliating way to get dumped. 124 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,637 Yeah, you deserve better. 125 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,441 He should have waited. 126 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:00,513 Thank you. 127 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:02,375 (cheering) Yeah! 128 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:03,280 Oh! 129 00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,041 (laughs) 130 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,377 Zara! (whoops) 131 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,423 I helped her train for tonight. 132 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,948 Well, you did an awesome job. 133 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,723 Well, thank you. 134 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:12,822 (laughs) 135 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,863 Okay. 136 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,626 Oh, God! I know! 137 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:25,495 I stink! 138 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,773 Well, quit stinking! 139 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,570 Gladly! I quit! What?! 140 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,472 Yeah. You can't quit in the middle of a tournament! 141 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:33,344 I just did. Would you quit in the middle of a surgery? 142 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,614 I would if my patient was being a dick. 143 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,080 What does that mean? 144 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,751 It means you're a dick. 145 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,181 I don't even know why I dated this guy. 146 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,946 It's not that he had a bad personality. 147 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,645 He actually had no personality. 148 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,417 Well, I once dated a girl with multiple personalities 149 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,587 and they were all were terrible. 150 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,934 But luckily, they all had an amazing body. 151 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,460 (laughs) 152 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,795 Feel better? 153 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,769 Is the "pain go bye-bye" juice working? 154 00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,799 Yes. 155 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,103 Thank you, Stosh. 156 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,374 You're welcome, Caryn. 157 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,214 APRIL: Hey. 158 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,368 Hi. 159 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:07,677 The darts are over? Oh. 160 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,678 I quit. Your roommate wasn't even 161 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,510 that much of a bitch while we were breaking up. 162 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,205 And she slashed my bicycle tires. 163 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,476 I'm April, by the way. 164 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,975 I'm Caryn. Stosh. 165 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,486 Do you mind if I join you guys? 166 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,888 Or is this a romantic thing? 167 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,460 Um... 168 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,790 No. No, it's not. No, no, no. No, not at all. 169 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,525 No, no. No, it's not, it's not, never. 170 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,230 Nothing romantic at all. No, absolutely not. 171 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:29,561 (fake retches) Never. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, 172 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:30,957 no, no, no, no... Um, and... 173 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,398 ...no, no no. Okay. 174 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,573 APRIL: All right. 175 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:34,841 That was a... 176 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,398 very thorough answer. 177 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,067 Next round of shots on me? 178 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,144 Look, even if I agreed with you 179 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,635 that April is a festering boil 180 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,807 on the ass of the dart world-- which I don't-- 181 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,376 you still need a partner. 182 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,345 No partner and you're out of the tourney. 183 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,423 She quit, Becky! 184 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:51,821 What am I supposed to do? 185 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,492 What about playing with her? 186 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:54,591 Who? 187 00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,562 I don't know her. BECKY: No. 188 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,430 Your friend. 189 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,388 She seems super into it. 190 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,864 Oh, that... 191 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,096 Oh. 192 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:08,273 Oh, you mean Eric... a. 193 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,401 Erica! 194 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,997 That is a great idea. 195 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,068 I will go ask... her. 196 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:14,944 And, by the way, 197 00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:17,275 her darts name is "Viper." 198 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:19,776 Hey. Let's dance. 199 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,053 * 200 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:27,624 To happiness! 201 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:28,685 Or, as I like to call it, 202 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,622 "sadness in its early stages." 203 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,864 Bleh! Scotch. 204 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,526 They should call it crotch! 205 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,525 Hmm-mm. APRIL: You know, I had a boyfriend 206 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,197 who lived in Glasgow 207 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,474 and he taught me about all the different kinds of Scotches. 208 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,814 There is just so much we can learn from alcoholics. 209 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:47,980 So, I'm sorry, let's go back. 210 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:48,978 You said "boyfriend"? 211 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,479 I did. 212 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,781 Okay, so can one assume that your sexuality 213 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,283 is of the "bi" variety? 214 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,784 APRIL: No, because I don't 215 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,646 like that word. 216 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,085 I like who I like. 217 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,489 And I think that sexuality is a very fluid thing, 218 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,122 and I just like to go with the flow. 219 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,556 So you're bi. Yes. 220 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,292 Great. Yeah. 221 00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,485 Bartender! 222 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,127 Three more shots of crotch! 223 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,661 That was my joke. 224 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:12,167 I wouldn't call it a joke. 225 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:19,439 (cheering) 226 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,643 Yes! Yes! 227 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,644 Sweet shot, Viper! 228 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,475 Thank you! 229 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,010 Yeah! You go, girl! 230 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,014 You go, girl. 231 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,076 (laughing) 232 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,345 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ...Terminator, Aliens... 233 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,753 Do not blow it with this one. 234 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,945 ...half of Titanic. 235 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,656 Half of Titanic? 236 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:35,758 The Jack and Rose love story is... 237 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,489 (imitates buzzer) No, no. 238 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:39,255 It's the screaming, it's the ice, 239 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,532 it's the dead people. 240 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,534 Yes! 241 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,673 Okay, what about When Harry Met Sally? 242 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,698 Oh, give me a break. 243 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,303 Yes! 244 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,474 I love that movie! 245 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,297 Me, too. 246 00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:52,838 (chanting): Viper! Viper! 247 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,643 Viper! Viper! Viper! 248 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,306 Viper! Viper! 249 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,384 (cheering) Yes! 250 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,052 Yes! 251 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:01,881 Boom! 252 00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,275 (shrieking) 253 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,986 That is one badass bitch. 254 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,518 Yeah! (cheering) 255 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,529 Oh, I was just obsessed with horses as a kid. 256 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,529 I used to draw horses all the time. 257 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:15,361 Did you really? Aw... Yes. 258 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,055 You know, I-I actually had a horse when I was a kid. 259 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,497 Really? You did? 260 00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,702 Oh, wow. What was your horse's name? 261 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:21,871 Horst. 262 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:22,872 Horst? 263 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,713 He was a, uh, albino. 264 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,079 He was actually sold to a circus and, um, 265 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,338 he didn't make it. 266 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,147 Heartbreaking story, Stosh. 267 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,579 I know, I still have issues. 268 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,524 About Horst, the albino? 269 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,079 Yeah. 270 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,647 All right, uh, ladies, it's about, uh, 271 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:43,758 six hours past my bedtime, so I'm leaving. 272 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,691 Oh, well, it was fun hanging out with you, Stosh. 273 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,326 Yeah, you, too. You know, we should... 274 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,760 we should do it again. Maybe Saturday night? 275 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,026 I got a couple of tickets to the Yankees game 276 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,234 with your name on it. 277 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,765 And mine. And the Yankees. 278 00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,201 Are you asking me out? 279 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,195 Yeah. 280 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,706 Wow. 281 00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,568 I haven't gone out with a dude in, like, six years. 282 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,038 Oh, you know what? 283 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,705 It's easy, it's just like riding a bike, 284 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,384 except in this case, 285 00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,112 a very large, powerful motorcycle. 286 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,617 You know what? 287 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,749 You're a douche bag, you own it, and I like that. 288 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:11,754 Thank you. So let's do this. 289 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,015 All right. Sounds good. Yeah? 290 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,623 See you then. Awesome. 291 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:18,958 And boom goes the dynamite. 292 00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,032 Huh. 293 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,061 Funny. 294 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,695 When I came over 295 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,571 earlier, it was because I thought you were hot. 296 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,569 Really? Yeah. 297 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,071 I thought I might score a date with you. 298 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,202 Really? 299 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,408 Yeah. 300 00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,809 Interesting. 301 00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,812 Sorry. 302 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,014 (sighs) 303 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,479 You still want one? 304 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,584 Yeah. 305 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,317 Okay. 306 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,162 I want to try being a lesbian. 307 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,761 Can I finish my tea first? 308 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,234 Not right now. That's ridiculous. 309 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,433 On Friday. I have a date with your friend April. 310 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,295 Wait, what? Why are you looking at me like that? 311 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,803 You went out with her. She's great, right? 312 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,065 At the moment, she's dead to me, 313 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,644 but, yeah, she's lovely. 314 00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:10,444 And you know, I was never one of those girls who "experimented." 315 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,077 You know, my freshman year in college, 316 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,782 I had a roommate who went through a lesbian phase, 317 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,684 so I got to hear a lot of what it was like 318 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,176 from under my covers, but that's it. 319 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,687 And now you want to give it a shot? 320 00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:19,689 Yeah. 321 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,490 You know, because, um... 322 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,991 as I get older, I've discovered... 323 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,294 you like who you like. 324 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,985 And sexuality 325 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,257 is a fluid thing, 326 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,095 and you have to go with the flow. 327 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,830 Why are you acting so stunned? 328 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:32,695 I am not acting. 329 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,473 I am stunned. 330 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,041 STOSH: Sorry to barge in. Zara, can I borrow your van? 331 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,709 I've got to go to the Bronx 332 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,538 to pick up tickets for my date with April. 333 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:40,872 Hello, Caryn. 334 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,135 Um, yeah, keys are on the counter. 335 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,847 Great. I hope she doesn't mind the skybox behind home plate. 336 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:47,880 Good-bye, Caryn. 337 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:53,893 So... this is actually not about April at all. 338 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,791 This is about your weird, immature, 339 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,023 unresolved thing with Stosh. 340 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,827 No. As I told you, 341 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,859 it's about going with the fluids, okay? 342 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,904 And-and just... and flowing. 343 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,200 Shut up. 344 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,073 Eric, it's Zara. 345 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,237 ERIC: Just a second! 346 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,575 What are you doing in there? 347 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,079 No, I-I was just Googling a few things. 348 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,351 I just need a second, okay? 349 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,680 Ew. 350 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,886 (panting): Hey. 351 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,118 Yeah, come on in. 352 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,985 Oh, Googling things. 353 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,693 Okay, got it. 354 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:32,885 Still weird. 355 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,056 So, what's up? 356 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,334 Well, um, 357 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,272 I just came to congratulate you. 358 00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,168 Thank you. Yeah, it came in the mail today 359 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,570 from the Googly-Eye Barn. 360 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,372 Now the real work begins. 361 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,914 No, not about that. 362 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:49,109 Eric, how would you like to be my darts partner 363 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,612 for the rest of the tournament? 364 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:51,883 Sounds great; I love darts. 365 00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,612 And I'm not gonna lie. 366 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,176 I really like hanging out with all those hot ladies. 367 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,886 Right, about that. 368 00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,748 Um, let's just not, you know, bring up the girl/boy thing 369 00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,618 or say anything about it 370 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:06,385 or even use words like "he" or "him" or "my penis." 371 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,796 You know? Oh. Yeah. 372 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,198 Just so we don't make a thing of it. 373 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,759 Yeah, no, totally, I get that. 374 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,898 I can keep it on the dillzies for realzies. 375 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,203 Greatzies. 376 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,774 (laughter) 377 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,843 Well, I'm going to let you get back to doing... 378 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,950 Hello, my child. 379 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,954 Oh! 380 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,052 Look who's out of her PJ's 381 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,323 and all dressed up like Mariska Hargitay. 382 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:33,952 I have a hot date tonight. 383 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,057 Oh, yeah, you got a date? 384 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,988 Is he gonna pick you up on a Citi Bike? 385 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:39,134 Huh? Piggyback? Rickshaw? 386 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,559 Hey! 387 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,633 Let me find parking; I'll be right back. 388 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,001 Hey! Hey! 389 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,397 What's she doing here? 390 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,932 The game's not until tomorrow night. 391 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:50,237 Yeah, but Wilco is playing at McCarren Park tonight. 392 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,470 You made a date with April? 393 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,814 I made a date with April. 394 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:53,810 After I made a date with April? 395 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:55,641 After you made a date with April. 396 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:56,835 (gasps) I'm sorry. 397 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,847 I didn't know you guys were exclusive. 398 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,409 That's not the point. 399 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,947 You're not gay and you know it. 400 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,253 I am gay for April, 401 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,955 and I have never felt more alive. 402 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,788 You know, maybe you should try being gay. 403 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,663 Based on your clothes and grooming habits, 404 00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:14,091 the transition should be relatively easy for you. 405 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,257 I know what you're doing, and it's not gonna work. 406 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,356 You can't win. 407 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,097 It is not a contest, Stosh. 408 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,872 It's a matter of the heart. 409 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:24,471 It's about finding true love, and I will win. 410 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,014 Caryn, I can't find parking anywhere. 411 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,839 Get in. Let's go. 412 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,009 Bam goes the dynamite. 413 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,884 Boom. It's "boom goes the dynamite." 414 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:34,854 You look cute. Hi. 415 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,722 Thank you. Hi, Stosh. 416 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,418 * 417 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,233 (indistinct chatter) 418 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,580 * 419 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,363 (cheering) 420 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,539 Oh, yes. 421 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:42,152 Boob. 422 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,794 (cheering) 423 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:56,929 Hi. I would like two tickets to the Sunday matinee. 424 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,134 Upper balcony is perfect. 425 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,466 Caryn Goldfarb. 426 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,071 Yes. 427 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,203 Thank you. 428 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,537 Oh, Caryn? 429 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,972 You wouldn't, by chance, 430 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,977 be buying those two Sunday matinee tickets 431 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,409 for you and April, would you? 432 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,283 Yeah, we're gonna go see the Spider-Man musical, 433 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,982 which I hear is very good 434 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,484 now that none of the performers are getting killed. 435 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,985 Well, I'll try to have April back in time. 436 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,918 Back from what? 437 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:21,123 Oh, right. 438 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,624 How could you know? 439 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,385 We're going to the Hamptons on Saturday. 440 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,234 We'll be staying in a hotel room, 441 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,729 together, if you catch my drift. 442 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,132 By drift, 443 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,974 I mean sex. 444 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,970 Boom goes the dynamite. 445 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,040 Not if it goes boom on Friday. 446 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,844 Hey, April. 447 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,135 Yeah, it's me. 448 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,147 What are you doing 449 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,408 Friday night? 450 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,417 Oh, right, that's Zara's dart tournament. 451 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,450 You want to get plastered and watch it together 452 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:55,015 and then go home and have a great deal of sex? 453 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,455 What do you mean, am I ready? 454 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,189 Of course I'm ready, yes. Give me that. 455 00:15:58,225 --> 00:15:59,325 Oh, my God, I can't wait. Bye! Give me that phone. 456 00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:00,989 Boom. 457 00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:03,598 You trying to turn this into some kind of sex competition? 458 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,970 Yep, and I'm gonna win, 459 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,339 'cause I am a woman, 460 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,638 and I know what feels good down there, 461 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,040 and I am going to arrive to down there 462 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,713 24 hours before you, so boom! 463 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,646 Bam! Boom! 464 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,278 It's boom. (imitates explosion) 465 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,023 Emergency. Help. 466 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,279 What? I committed 467 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,016 to having lesbian sex soon, very soon, 468 00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,023 so I need some tutoring. 469 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,364 I have to give April the best orgasm 470 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,058 she's ever had in her life, 471 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,820 or at least better than Stosh can. 472 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,058 Of her life. 473 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,063 This has nothing to do with Stosh. 474 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,204 Will you please help me? 475 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,628 Um, let me think about that. 476 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,003 Uh, no. 477 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,201 I don't want any part of this. 478 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,702 April is a human being, 479 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,243 and she deserves better than to be caught up 480 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,869 in some twisted little game between you and Stosh. 481 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,474 This is not about me and Stosh, okay? 482 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,007 This is about me and, um... 483 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,583 April. 484 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,051 This is about me and April. 485 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,810 Caryn, enough. 486 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,417 You can't parade around trying to pass yourself off 487 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,589 as a lesbian just because there's something in it for you. 488 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,048 It's disrespectful to gay people. 489 00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,247 It's wrong, and frankly, 490 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:03,018 you should be ashamed of yourself. 491 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,486 ERIC: So, 492 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,064 how do I look for the finals? 493 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,933 I'm wearing everything you gave me. 494 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,255 Totally different situation. 495 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,298 Awesome? 496 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:22,478 (cheering) 497 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,752 You are strong, you are fearless, 498 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,254 you are Batman. 499 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,987 I'm Batman. 500 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,286 (cheering) 501 00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:40,426 Yes! 502 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,100 That was amazing! 503 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,199 Did you see that? 504 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,300 Amazing. 505 00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:45,771 Thank God you were replaced. 506 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,198 Oh, shut up. You shut up. 507 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,974 Shut up. 508 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,201 Super excited for later. 509 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,367 Ha! 510 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,774 Later, exciting stuff! 511 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,206 Exciting stuff? 512 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,082 Is something exciting happening tonight? 513 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,310 Hey, Stosh. Hi. 514 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,975 What are you doing here? Oh, come on. 515 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,883 Is my love for darts not well documented at this point? 516 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,386 Okay, well, maybe you should just... 517 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,548 Join you guys for the next game? 518 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,116 I'd love to. Yay! 519 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,715 Can we get another round of shots, please? 520 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,686 Crotch shots. Crotch shots. 521 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,170 (cheering) 522 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,901 Did you see that? 523 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,765 All right. I got it. Thank you. 524 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,144 Come on, I got it. I got it. I think I can pay for my date. 525 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,144 I got it, I got it. Just take mine, take mine. I got it. I got it. 526 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,506 Okay. Take my card. 527 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:33,153 Guys, it's cash only. I got it. 528 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,180 I got it. No, I got it. I can pay... I got it, I got it. 529 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,475 WOMAN: Here we go, everybody. 530 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:37,616 The final two darts 531 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,220 for the championship. 532 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,461 (cheering) 533 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,687 Yeah! 534 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:46,955 We did it! 535 00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,363 Oh! 536 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,355 WOMAN: Oh, this is it. 537 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,197 This is the big one. 538 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,573 Oh. 539 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,937 Okay. 540 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,811 (chuckles) 541 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,540 Okay. Okay. 542 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,788 (cheering) 543 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,785 (laughter) 544 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,827 * 545 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:27,268 Yeah! 546 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,565 Eric, I love you! 547 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:32,544 Me, too! 548 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,742 Hey, come on, let's dance. 549 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,213 Oh, wait, wait, oh, wait, uh-uh. 550 00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:38,553 A silly misunderstanding needs to be cleared up here. 551 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,548 Hey, do you like puppets? 552 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,180 Yeah. 553 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,245 A lot. 554 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,683 Oh! Okay. 555 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,856 Have fun, girls. 556 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,258 * We'll put all other things aside * 557 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,431 (grunting) 558 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:56,760 * Get in this time and show me some affection * 559 00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:01,826 * We're going for those pleasures in the night * 560 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,768 * I want to love you 561 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,374 * Feel you 562 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,006 * Wrap myself around you 563 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,610 * I want to squeeze you Hey. 564 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,212 * Please you 565 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,414 * I just can't get enough 566 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,876 * And if you move real slow 567 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,524 * I'll let it go Oh. 568 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,120 * I'm so excited (clears throat) 569 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:21,392 * And I just can't hide it... 570 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,091 Oh, okay. 571 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,422 Oh, guys. 572 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,257 * I'm about to lose control 573 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:28,703 * And I think I like it 574 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,428 * I'm so excited I'm out of here. 575 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,574 * And I just can't hide it 576 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,804 * And I know, I know 577 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,135 * I know, I know, I know 578 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,369 * I want you... Oh, boy. 579 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,636 Well said. 580 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:44,483 * We shouldn't even think about tomorrow * 581 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:47,481 * Sweet memories will last a long, long time... * 582 00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:48,824 I'm sorry. 583 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,118 Thank you! 584 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,619 * We'll have a good time, baby 585 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:55,122 * Don't you worry 586 00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,624 * And if we're still playing around * 587 00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,827 * Boy, that's just fine 588 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,329 * Let's get excited 589 00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:05,632 * We just can't hide it 590 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,095 * I'm about to lose control 591 00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:10,844 * And I think I like it 592 00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:13,310 * I'm so excited 593 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,270 * And I just can't hide it. 594 00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:37,431 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 595 00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,374 (Eric and woman screaming) 596 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:46,014 WOMAN: Wait, why are you screaming? 597 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,368 Good night. 598 00:21:47,407 --> 00:21:49,177 Hmm. 38701

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