Original subtitles

There's massive monster activity just below.

Really?

They are just kids.

Hey, guys.

I'm Kirby, your replacement Troop Member

here to save the day.

Oh, hey.

Wow, nice to meet you.

We thought you were coming tomorrow.

I couldn't wait to get started!

Little help?

[straining grunts]

Come on, you gotta help me here a little.

Gotta pull, gotta pull.

My arm!

[straining grunts]

What's that?

It's a transport suit I invented.

It can whisk me between any two locations in mere seconds.

Then, why'd you take the limo?

Because the suit doesn't work.

And I can't really take it off.

I've been in it for 12 hours.

Does it have a bathroom mechanism?

Kinda.

It's good to have you with us.

We've heard great things about your work

with the Tulsa Troop.

Oh!!

That's how that works.

Hayley Steele and Jake Collins!

I've been following your amazing work

with the legendary Felix Garcia

ever since I joined the Troop.

It's an honor to serve with you!

So what's the sitch?

You know, "uation."

Well, there was a massive monster spike just down there.

Cool!

I can't wait to fight side by side with you guys

as we take down the biggest baddest monsters

in the universe.

Or a bunch of ten year-olds.

Kaiju!

Let's go!

Kirby, keep those people back.

We'll take care of the Kaiju!

I'm on it!

[laser fire]

[laser fire]

Gotta get these people back to HQ to figure out

what hypnotized them.

Whew!!!!

I just completed my first mission

with the Lakewood Troop!

And no one got hurt!

One out of twenty's still pretty good.

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[Mr. Stockley]: Heads up for the stairs in there.

Enough action for your first day in Lakewood, Kirby?

Action is my middle name, sir.

Ahhh!!!!!

Really?

No.

It's Aloysius.

But when I'm 18, I'm gonna have it legally changed to Action.

So, I've gotta ask: what was with the limo back there?

I know it's a little much.

No, it's awesome!

Are you super rich or something?

No, no, no, no, not me.

Wait, rich?

Yes.

Yes, I am incredibly rich!

My grandfather is a sock mogul.

You can get rich from socks?!

Well, my PeePaw invented the dissolving sock.

You know how sometimes when you do the laundry,

you can't find one sock?

It dissolved!

I knew it!

It makes people have to buy more socks.

And it made us a fortune.

Alright.

All the people we saved from the Kaiju

are safely contained in the containment unit.

That is until we find out exactly what hypnotized them.

I did find a ton of these in their pockets.

It's a ticket to the Horror Tracker 4 launch party.

Sweet!

Horror Tracker 4, what's that?

It goes on sale today.

It's the sequel to the sequel to the sequel

to the greatest monster-hunting video game ever.

No way, dude!

I love Horror Tracker!!

Since these are only leads,

looks like you guys will have to go to the launch party

and check it out.

Really?

Awesome!

Oh, no, no, no.

They did have one more clue.

One of you will have to check out this flyer for

"Vegan Poetry Night."

No, no, you guys!!

It's not fair!

Do not forget the lentil sherbet.

How do you say, "Hello, Freak" in your language-o?

Do not get between a girl and her accessories.

Aw, c'mon.

She's so easy to make fun of!

Back Off Now!!!!!

No one tells me what to do.

In this case, I'll make an exception!

Boys, let's back off.

Good choice, Scotty.

It was completely my decision!

Gimme that.

You okay?

Yes please thank you.

I am called Babushka.

I am exchanging student from the occasionally

socialist republic of Hekawistan.

Babushka, it's very nice to meet you.

I'm Hayley.

Hayley save Babushka.

In Hekawistan we say, "Ashkala.

Mishka shloof far vivilin mikma lop plotzikit

malaproppentov glack... tarantino."

What does that mean?

Thank you.

That's really long to say thank you.

Entire phrase mean: "thank you.

I am forever indebted to you for protecting of me

and I will oblige your every need for all eternity."

You're welcome.

But you don't need to be obliged to me

because that was just...

[kissing sounds]

Is that the bell?

I should probably get to class now.

You're welcome.

What do you think?

Is that what people wear in Tulsa?

Come on, don't you recognize me?

I am Lupo Tortillian-Pinth!

The guy who discovered America?

No!

From the Horror Tracker games.

For the launch party.

What costume are you gonna wear?

I was just gonna go as me.

I don't think the people there will take you seriously.

I think I'll take my chances.

But it's gonna be fun.

I know, right?

Hard-core gamers galore!

And there's a costume contest,

which means there's usually three girls there

dressed as the Power Twins from Planet Zorga.

In space bikinis!

In space bikinis!

And the game's creator, Declan Patrick

is gonna be there.

Declan Patrick?!

He's a genius!

He created his first game when he was 12

and was a millionaire by 14.

I always wanted to meet him.

Wait.

I've finished all the Horror Tracker games.

I don't remember Lupo Tortellini-whatever-you-are.

If you pause the game at just the right moment,

you can see a portrait

on the south wall of the rumpus room.

Directly below that portrait, a framed photograph

of... Lup Tortillian-Pinth.

Right.

Just promise me you'll lose the hat

when you talk to the girls in Space Bikinis.

I thought it was fashionable.

Cadence, I have a problem!

What's the problem?

You know really sweet girl Babushka from Hekawistan?

The one who keeps livestock in her locker?

It's only a chicken.

And a pig.

And a baby Llama.

Yes, she won't stop doing stuff for me.

Carrying my books or opening doors...

What's wrong with that?

She tried to pre-chew my food, Cadence.

Apparently, Hekawistan is a very bird-centric culture.

Wait a second...

You have a servant?

Urgh!!

Can you make her do my laundry?

No!

Her attention is sweet but inappropriate.

I will not take advantage of her.

If you aren't going to respect her culture, I will:

She can do my book reports.

Hello, Hayley.

Hello friend of Hayley.

Babushka make new clothes for Hayley.

Oh!

Yes!

Uh-huh!

Hayley like it.

It's very beautiful.

What is that?

Just like Princess Kavorkla haaarg.

And she is just as beautiful as her name.

I'm really not sure this is me.

I don't know, I think you look pretty fantastic there, Hayley.

No, Hayley right.

It still needs something.

No lack of something.

Stop.

Kugulah!

Kugulah!

[chicken clucking]

That's a chicken.

No man will resist your feminine charms.

Forget about the book report.

Good luck with that.

[bell ringing]

There's definitely monster activity here.

Oh, I see a whole bunch of monsters.

Let's go find out if anybody has seen anything weird.

Hey Phil.

Morcechai.

Haven't seen you guys since the convention in Duluth.

Anybody seen any monsters?

Check out those kids' eyes.

[hisses and roars]

Wow!

[hisses and roars]

Those aren't costumes.

[hisses and roars]

[laser fire]

They're gone!

[applause]

Nice show.

Declan Patrick!

You're like one of my idols.

Good choice.

My life is full of luxuries you can't even imagine.

Nice special effects, guys.

You are officially deemed cool.

That's my digits.

Call me sometime.

Let's hang.

Deemed!

Totally deemed!

We were 'deemed'.

He invited us.

We totally have to go see his office.

Hanging out with Declan Patrick could be the perfect way

to figure out if there's a connection

between him and the monsters.

Hanging out with Declan Patrick is also the perfect way

to hang out with Declan Patrick.

He happens to be the coolest person on Earth.

Cool people are a dime a dozen.

You realize you are saying that dressed in a cape.

Listen, I know I'm new here,

but back in Oklahoma we had a saying:

"When you walk through a cow pasture"--

Now, why would you walk through a cow pasture?

I dunno.

It's fun.

You relax.

"When you are walking through that cow pasture--

What if there's an angry bull hanging around?

Then, obviously, you don't do it.

I can think of a lot more reasons not to walk through

a cow pasture.

The point is when you're walking through there,

and you suddenly smell something stinky,

there's probably a good reason for it.

That would be my number one reason not to walk through

a field of cows.

What I'm trying to say is

we should be careful when we go to his office.

Totally.

But this is going to be awesome!

Yeah.

But you've got to change first.

Why?

This is so comfortable.

You should feel the lining.

Be prepared to shoot.

Come on, touch the lining!

No.

Touch the lining!

Seriously, what are you doing now?

I follow you in case you drop anything.

I also put cleaning snails in your athletic footwear,

and wove you a small rug for outside your locker.

Thank you.

Listen, I want you to do something...

Shave head?

Babushka get razor?

No, no, no!

You see I lost the chicken.

[gasps]

I know but I heard he might be in the library,

which is way at the other end of the school.

So could you...

Babushka find chicken!

Do you worry!

Thank you.

Babushka and this burlap are driving me crazy.

I wish there was some way I could turn her off.

It's a delicate situation.

You don't want to disrespect the traditions of her culture.

I know that.

But every time I look up Hekawistani culture on the web,

I just get pictures of the Milk and Potato festival.

Wait.

Here's something.

A debt of gratitude is absolved if you successfully defend

the safety and honor of your protector

in a moment of peril.

That's it!

I have to set up a moment where Babushka can save me.

Then I'm free.

Can you watch Mr. Cluckers?

Sure.

But I think Mr. Cluckers is a Mrs.

Humph!

Here!

Got you the Gold Edition of Horror Tracker IV.

And I signed it.

Thanks!

What's different about the Gold Edition?

It says " Gold Edition" on the box.

Nice.

You guys should play it.

I'll set it up for you.

Level 17 has the most amazing graphics.

You must play level 17.

Got it!

A mind Leech!

I should have known!

It must be controlling Declan.

Woah, careful!

You might destroy Declan if you don't hit the Leech just right!

[laser fire]

What's going on?!

Declan, you have a Mind Leech attached to your head

and I need to shoot it off.

Yeah.

If you could--

Could you turn around and stand really still?

It will be over in a second.

No!

I'm controlling Declan Patrick now!

[laser fire]

Maybe we should test your weapons

before bringing them into battle.

At least I've invented a Donut Crunch Ray.

Oooh, jelly!

Babushka!

These noodles are scalding hot and so heavy.

I just might spill.

The floor is so slippery.

I need help!!!

Let me help you!

Thank you Babushka!

Ahhh!!!

You're welcome!

I had no idea that you knew about the Hekawistani

luxury spa treatment of noodling.

Noodling?!

Yes, noodling.

You are going to be beautiful.

The hair on your skin oh,

soft, supple, luxurious.

It was definitely a Mind Leech.

They attach themselves to a human host

who then lures others to a kaiju-feeding portal.

Well, that explains what hypnotized all those people.

But how did Declan Patrick reach so many victims?

They came from cities all over.

We think it has something to do with his new game.

Where's Jake?

Well, that's just it, sir!

He's at home playing the game.

The answer may be on level 17.

Declan kept insisting that we play it.

Kirby, I finally beat level 17.

I understand so much now.

About the Mind Leech?

I have somewhere to go.

That "somewhere" better be right here.

We're at MonsterCon 3!

Jake, Mr. Stockley wants--

Oh no, he's hypnotized!

The Mind Leech must have made Declan imbed some secret code

that hypnotizes anybody who beats level 17.

Whoooo!!!!!!!!!

I am it!

There!

That good!

We've gotta stop Jake!

Jake!

Jake. come in!

I cant rack him on TroopGrid.

Got him!

And he's heading straight for a Kaiju feeding portal

that just opened up!

You've got to stop him!

Don't worry, sir.

I'm prepared for anything!

This thing have a button.

Got it.

Oh, my.

So, you're clear on the plan, right?

Babushka's has to save me.

Yeah, whatever.

It's your 20 bucks.

Hayley want Hekawistani manicure?

Oh! Hi, Babushka!

Look, Scotty, it's Babushka's!

[laughs]

I guess, you're comin' with me!

Look, Babushka, save me!

I'm getting dragged away.

I'm so proud for you!

It is beautiful!

This is just how my mother met my father!

Babushka!

Congratulations on love connections!

[watch rings]

Hayley, Jake's about to be eaten by the Kaiju.

Meet me at the Battle Cruisers!

I'll be there in a minute, Kirby.

Alright, there's Jake!

Now, Jake said your weapons were a little funky.

Are you sure this one is going to work?

I'm certain.

I'm fairly certain.

The Kaiju.

Get rid of them first,

and then take care of Declan Patrick and the Mind Leach.

[hisses and roars]

Let's go!

Jake!

[laser fire]

Kirby, don't move!!

[laser fire]

You saved my life.

How can I repay you?

Not another one of those.

Stand down!

Come, enter the portal!

Hurry up, shoot the Leech!

I can't get a clear shot!

I might destroy Declan.

Yes, yes...

I believe in you, Kirby.

Just shoot!!!

My belief in you only lasts so long, Kirby.

[laser fire]

[laughs]

What happened?

Where am I?

This is disgusting!!

I believe you'll find all your answers right here:

Hayley!

Babushka,

While I respect Hekawistani culture

with the possible exception of what you consider fashion--

I just can't have you following me all day and night.

It's not how you say 'thank you' here.

If you want to be a real American,

you have to do things the way Americans do.

I know.

You do?

Yes, Babushka find out.

In America, people who do these things

are called personal assistants and get paid $50 an hour

cash money.

What's this?

Babushka make bill.

For $1200!!!

Plus mileage.

Congratulations, Babushka.

You've become a true American.

[bell ringing]

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