All language subtitles for The.Troop.S01E24_English

Hayley >> All right,
holding cell check is done.

Felix >> TroopgGrid surveillance
sensitivity set to 'maximum'.

>> I'm almost done cleaning
up the popcorn I spilt.

[elevator clanks]
>> He's here, everybody.

All right, look alive now.
We need to bring our 'A' game.

Jake >> What's the big deal?
We have monsters in here

all the time.
Stockley >> Not like this one.

I know we've fought some of
the most horrific monsters

anyone could image but now we
step through the looking glass

into the black hole of evil.

I just hope your training
is equal to the task of...

Dr. Cranius.

[elevator door rumbles]

***

[music stops]
Jake >> It's just a sponge.

>> It's a sponge that's
also the black hole of evil.

***

[music stops]
>> Okay, dude, seriously,

where is that music coming from?
***

[music stops]
>> Huh?

[music plays]
Oh, sorry guys.

Excuse me.
I have to change my ring tone.

Hey, Mom.
Hi.

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

Stockley >> To review: you're
all going to take turns guarding

Dr. Cranius while International
builds a supermax facility.

Take the utmost precaution.

Do not get too close to him.

Try not to look him in the eye.
And above all,

do not talk to Dr. Cranius.

Is that clear?

>> Can I just ask
a quick question?

>> Of course.
>> He looks like a sponge.

>> That's not a question.

>> Why are we guarding a sponge?
>> Better.

Dr. Cranius is a
manipulative, evil genius.

He once nearly destroyed the
town of Schenectady, New York

using nothing but a diving
mask and a rubber stamp.

Also, he went to Harvard.
>> Cool.

Stockley >> No, not cool.
He's evil.

Even I was once his victim.
>> What happened?

>> He talked me into painting
him black then building

a catapult to launch him onto
a coal truck so he could escape.

I was young and my love of
catapults got the better of me.

***

Cranius >> So, Stockley,
we meet again.

>> It's Mr. Stockley,

and I haven't forgotten
our last meeting.

>> You know, I was almost burned
in that power plant furnace

with the rest of my
anthracite friends.

But it was worth it because
shortly thereafter,

I stopped a government program
to synthesize ice cream

out of thin air.

I'd say America got
its just desserts.

[evil laugh]

>> I'd like to ask
you a few questions.

Cranius >> Ow!
I can feel that, you know.

Stockley >> Good, now what was
your plan when we captured you?

>> You know I can't
tell you that.

One has a code
of evil, after all.

>> Oh, really?
[click, sizzle]

>> A three-way bulb.
I might have guessed.

>> Answer my question!
Tell me what

you were working on!
>> That's not a question.

[click, sizzle]
>> You can't.

>> I'm happy to sit here all
night and watch you dehydrate.

[sizzle]
>> All right, all right!

I'll talk.

Give me water, please.
I beg you.

>> I'm listening.

>> The job I had when
you picked me up...

>> At the spa?
>> A cover to meet a contact.

Info was passed.

The evaporation.

Oh, everything...dizzy.

[groan]

>> Take him away.

***

[whirs and thumps]

Cranius >> Last time I was in
Troop custody was in St. Tropez.

I was going to make it
the base of my ocean empire.

Beautiful girls in St. Tropez.

I remember this one
red-head...well,

let's just say evil
isn't my only weakness.

But you probably know all
about beautiful girls, right?

[chuckle]

No? Well, here's
a little free advice.

If you want a girl
to like you, flatter her.

You like her hair,
your like her earrings.

Don't make it too complicated.
Flattery works.

>> But...
Ahem.

Cranius >> Right, don't
talk to the evil guy.

You're obviously well-prepared.
You're chief security liaison,

I assume.
Top man, top job.

>> Security...liaison?

>> Oh, maybe you're
not the liaison.

Maybe it's someone else.

I guess you wouldn't
tell me either way.

***

Hayley >> Hey, Etienne.

I see you're having a
car wash on Saturday too.

>> Yeah, we're trying
to raise money

for the Temblor speaker system.

It's two times louder than what
hearing experts recommend!

>> Cool, yeah, but we were
having a car wash Saturday.

Etienne >> Can you change it?
We've planned ours for months.

We put a pop-up virus on
the Lakewood High website

and everything.
>> All right.

I'll see if I can
change the date.

>> Ah, dude, you're
a life saver.

[school bell rings]

***

>> Hey, Alicia.

>> Hey, Jake.
What's up?

>> I just wanted to say
how much I liked your hair.

I love how it flows like
a beautiful blonde river.

It's so cool.
>> Really?

Thanks.

>> Well, see you around.

>> I hope so.

***

>> Look, there was a conflict
between our car wash

and the AV club's.
It's the same day

so I told that to Etienne
I'd see if I can move it

so, yeah, just let me know.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.
Call me back, bye.

Cranius >> I wouldn't do that

if I wanted to get into Harvard.
>> Hah.

Cranius >> And, I know about
Harvard and it's love

of car wash organizers
in particular

because as you can probably
tell, I went there.

But if you want to sabotage
yourself, be my guest.

>> What's wrong with just
changing the date though?

>> Wonderful.
A copycat car wash.

That'll work.

Do you want to go
to copycat Harvard?

>> Copycat Harvard?
>> You know it as Yale.

Don't back down.
This Etienne is made of pudding.

He'll cave at the
slightest show of force.

Felix >> How's he doing?
>> Ah, super, excellent,

super-spongy.
It's great, yeah, bye.

***

Cranius >> So, you must be
my chief security liaison.

I know what you're thinking,
how do I know it's you

and not the girl?
Or Jake?

Oh, you don't have to be a
three-dimensional sudoku master

to see it.

I mean, Jake may not think
you're tough but I do.

[water sloshes]

>> Wait.

Jake doesn't think I'm tough?

Cranius >> You know, it's
not really my place to say.

If I were you, I'd start
projecting more...duende.

>> Duende?
>> It's a term

I first encounter at Harvard,
where I went.

It means authenticity,
soul...machismo even,

but so much more.
Our old friend Garcia Lorca

said it best: "The arrival
of the authentic

anticipates always
a radical change."

>> Si.

Si.

***

[sizzle]

Stockley >> Two, zero,
eight, zero South Street.

>> And, I got Alicia's number,
and a bunch of other

girl's numbers, and the
grounds keeper's number.

Flattery is obvious
but it works.

Cranius >> You, my friend,
are a smooth operator.

And handsome.
>> Oh, thank you!

I don't know how to repay you.

>> You're happiness
is my reward.

Of course, well, oh never mind.
Jake >> Wait, come on.

Cranius >> Maybe something
beautiful to look at.

>> A girl?
A beach?

>> Harvard.
Harvard Yard, The Coop,

Wigglesworth Hall.
Maybe something on poster board.

>> Ah, I don't
know, Dr. Cranius.

You're suppose to be evil.
>> You're right.

It's better not
to talk to me at all.

You'll find out about Stage Two
for getting the ladies

some other way.
>> Stage Two?

>> Well, if you want to get
Alicia really interested,

text her best friend.

>> That sounds a little sketchy.

>> Human nature is
sketchy, dear boy.

And speaking of sketchy,
I think Felix is in line

for the security
liaison position.

>> My security liaison position?

>> It should be yours.
You're smart.

Maybe not book smart, but...
>> Street smart.

>> Not that exactly.

>> I have emotional
intelligence?

Cranius >> Um, not that either.
But somehow you're smart.

Felix doesn't
think so, but I do.

And I went to Harvard.

[approaching footsteps]
Felix >> Hello, Jake.

Were you talking to Dr. Cranius?

Jake >> No.
Were you?

>> No.
Jake >> Nice day today.

Felix >> Indeed.
[Cranius chuckles softly]

Air is stimulating for
the animal appetite...sss.

>> Is something up with you?
>> I was going to ask you

the same question.
[Cranius laughs]

[coughs]

Felix >> Sorry, what was that?

Cranius >> Nothing, carry on.
Felix >> So what's up

with you, Jake?
[evil laugh]

***

Amy >> Oh, Hayley.
Okay, it took a ton of work

but I moved the car wash
till next week.

>> Great.
Yeah, now change it back.

>> What?
Hayley >> Cheerleaders

do not back down, Amy.
When the team is behind,

do we stop cheering?
>> No.

Hayley >> When a player
is injured or there's a fire,

do we stop cheering?
>> No!

How big a fire?
>> Look, I don't care what

the AV club is doing but we
are going on with this car wash

as if our very future
depends on it.

Yay Wombats...
Yada yada.

Jake >> Hi, Hayley.
>> Hello, Jake.

>> How's the prisoner?

>> I don't know.
I don't talk to him to find out.

>> Me either.
>> Uh hm.

***

>> You're up, Jake.
>> I know.

I'll be there.
Don't worry about it.

>> Where is the salt
that gives this job savor.

>> I was worrying first.
So don't worry

because I'm already worrying.
>> Maybe so, friend-o.

But you're going to have to get
up pretty early to out-worry me.

I'll tell you what, call it.

Jake >> Tails.

>> That's correct but that
doesn't mean anything.

***

[thud]
Felix >> Ah! Darn!

Jake >> Felix is after
that security liaison job.

Cranius >> You have to prove you
can build a better mousetrap.

>> Yes!
Mice!

>> Not a literal
mousetrap, Jake.

>> Oh.
Cranius >> Top of my head,

but maybe you build a new
surveillance system for me.

Now you have to sit next
to my pen your entire shift.

How could you see me from
any room in headquarters?

What would reflect
my image throughout?

>> I shinny sword?

A silver tray.

Cranius (whispers) >> Mirrors.
>> Mirrors!

Cranius >> Brilliant.
A system of mirrors.

You astound me.
>> Thanks.

I'm pretty good at ideas.
Hey, that reminds me...

Ta-da.

It's Harvard.
Got it off the Net.

It's either Harvard University
or Harvard Pet Training Center.

Cranius >> Either way,
it's perfect.

Jake, I can't tell you
what this means.

[evil laugh]

***

[girls giggle]

[cell phone beeps]

Alicia >> He's texting you?
Friend >> Alicia...

Alicia >> I can't believe
he'd do this to me.

Jake is such a jerk.
I Don't want to talk about it.

Friend >> Alicia, wait up!
Alicia, come on!

>> This Jake, his arrogance
tests my patience.

What are all these
mirror for anyway?

>> I think this is Jake's
idea of a security system.

>> Ha ha, I could do
better in my sleep.

Cranius >> Then you
should, Felix.

The way to win the security
liaison job is to build

a better mousetrap.
>> We have mice?

Cranius >> Oh, come on!

Has no one ever
heard that expression?

>> Oh, you mean build
a better security system?

>> Yes, finally.
Thank you.

What would keep
me from escaping?

>> Fire ants, tacks,
broken glass...

>> No, none of that beams with
the laser pin-point accuracy

worthy of a great inventor
such as yourself.

>> I could always use a laser.
>> Yes.

[Felix chuckles]
Cranius >> Great, look busy.

>> Hey, dude, is it possible
that your mom

brought your baby photo
album to school?

>> What?
No, that's impossible.

Hayley >> I just, you know,
I thought I saw her up

in the hall with some
football players showing

your first potty pictures.
[Felix gasps]

Mom!

Cranius >> Why did you do that?
I'm resting now.

Tell Felix to come back.

>> Okay, Etienne is going
on with the car wash.

I thought you said
he'd back down, huh?

Cranius >> God, a challenge.
You must make something

truly spectacular.
An event!

There must be entertainment,
music, an omelet bar

with fixin's.
>> But that's expensive.

I mean, isn't that
less money for charity?

>> Go to Junior College then.

>> My mother's not up there.
It was just a bunch

of football players who don't
understand a spirit of duende.

>> My bad.

***

>> I thought sponges
were suppose to be clean.

***

Bingo!

Cranius >> Angle it about
20 degrees to the north.

Perfect.
Now I'll never get out of here.

>> What's all this?
>> Security, amigo.

A laser fence.

>> But I've already
got a system.

>> Mirrors?
Mirrors are filled with lies.

But lasers, she's direct
and to the point.

>> Okay, you have to
stop talking like that.

It's really annoying.
>> You're just jealous

of my duende.

Jake >> Take these lasers down.
The mirrors work fine.

>> Mirrors don't do anything.

[machine whirs]

[zaps]

[gasps]
Jake >> Oh, boy!

Felix >> Dr. Cranius.
A little help here, please.

[machine whirs,
water sloshes]

Cranius >> Hee hee,
boys, good job.

I couldn't have
done it without you.

Felix >> But the lasers.
Jake >> And mirrors.

Cranius >> I'm a sponge
in water, idiots.

I'm impervious to lasers.
Can't say the same for you.

Adieu, mes amies!

You run a lovely little
bed and breakfast here.

>> Mr. Stockley's
going to kill us.

>> But he can never kill...
>> Just stop.

***

[fizzle]

Oh no!

[boing!]

CRANIUUUS!

Jake >> He manipulated us.

>> Kudos, mi amigo.

>> You can stop with
all that duende stuff.

It was just a bunch of nonsense.

>> Dr. Cranius may be evil
but in that evil, truth walks,

like a shadow.
>> Oh, man.

Is your hand free?
Call Hayley on your watchcom.

***

>> What do you mean
we're out of fixin's?

Take some money from the petty
cash and go get some more.

>> Okay, okay.
[watchcom beeps]

Hello.
>> Hayley, Dr. Cranius escaped.

Hayley >> Oh, that's bad.
Etienne >> Hey, Hayley,

want to know what
this smells like?

Okay, well this one
smells like eggs

but the rest of it
smells like victory.

>> I'll begin combing the area.
It shouldn't be too hard

to spot a giant, moving jar.
[watchcom beeps off]

>> Ah ha!
Freedom!

Time to rid myself
of this liquid prison.

[thud, splash]

Now, to get to my get-away car.

Ah ha!
My plan, my plan

[muffled speech]
is working perfectly.

***

[power winds down]

>> What happened?
Where's Cranius?

>> He escaped.
>> Oh, good grief.

>> Obviously he's
gone to the car wash.

He is a sponge after all.
>> Or did he?

There is no "obviously"
with Dr. Cranius.

He expected us to think he
was going to the car wash

which gives him time to be
anyplace but the car wash.

>> Unless he knows that's
what we're thinking

and while we're someplace else,
he's at the car wash.

>> Ooh, a paradox.

Ha ha ha, curse you,
Dr. Cranius.

>> Let's check the
car wash anyway.

>> Must get to the driveway!

***

Geronimo!

***

Ha ha!

***

Curse my lack of mass.

Well, if my calculations
are correct,

a skateboarder should be
here in three...two...

onnnnne!

[whack]
You're not going to let him

get away with that?
>> Who's talking?

>> Not important.
What's important,

you can't let a nerd throw
a sponge at a cheerleader.

Sponge fight!

Weee hooo!

***

***

>> I've seen this in my dreams.

>> Dr. Cranius is using
the chaos to escape.

Ingenious.
>> If he gets away,

he'll got to the river
and then to the ocean.

And if he turns the dolphins
against us, humanity is toast.

[detector beeps]
>> Ah, wait.

The scanner says
he's heading out.

I'll see you guys
on the other side.

>> Not if I see you first.

***

Oooaahh!

***

Ooohh!

[Cranius laughs]

***

[screams and shouts]

>> Hello, cinnamon.
Right on time.

Cinnamon >> Hey, baby.

Cranius >> Well done.

I was afraid that in the
confusion, you might miss me.

>> How could I
miss you, Gunther?

You're the handsomest
sponge here.

>> Not for long.
Let's blow this burg, doll.

[student's shouts]

Jake >> Cranius!
Cranius >> Quick!

Get to the river.
Take the highway.

>> My GPS says take
surface streets.

>> GPS, when did you
graduate from Harvard?

That's what I thought.
Take the highway!

>> Stop!
>> Cinnamon, go!

[breaks screech]

[Cranius grunts]

>> No one leaves until I smack
that two-timing Jake Collins!

[Jake grunts]

***

>> Gotcha!
>> Unhand me, vertebrate.

Electric shock!
[zap]

[Jake grunts, pants]

>> Let go of me!
Hayley >> Admission denied.

Cranius >> How dare you.
Jake >> Phew, that was close.

Cranius >> Don't you
realize who I am?

[smack]
[thud]

Jake >> Aw, I guess
I deserved that.

Hayley >> Total disaster.

Between the omelet
station and the band,

we actually lost
money for charity.

>> But we caught Dr. Cranius.

>> Which I can't put
on an application.

[microwave beeps]

[sizzle]

Felix >> Next time we won't
be so easily charmed

by your honeyed words.
>> I'll be back.

And I'll crush you!
Do you hear me?

I'll crush you!

Hey, that's a great shirt, Jake.
>> Really? Thanks.

Stockley >> Jake.
>> Dang it!

Cranius >> Let me out of here!
Let me out of here!

Let me out!

I'm a sponge, I deserve better.

Please, please let me out!

***

I went to Harvard!

***

[zaps, clanks]

>> Seriously, Jake.
>> Huh?

>> That is a nice shirt.

>> Thanks, man.

***