Original subtitles

YOU BECKONED?

I DID.

A LITTLE MID-DAY RENDEZVOUS.

VERY SEXY.

SO WHAT WILL IT BE?

ROMANTIC LUNCH OVER AT THE TACO TRUCK

OR SOMETHING NAUGHTIER LIKE 3 PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES FOR 10 BUCKS?

NEITHER. COME ON, FOLLOW ME.

WELL, THIS ISN'T VERY SEXY.

OH, YOU WANT TO GET KINKY.

[LAUGHS]

JOYCE.

IZZY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME.

THIS IS THE MAN I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

JOYCE WEATHERBY, MEET WALTER SHERMAN.

SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

SORRY IF IT'S A LITTLE DEAD AROUND HERE.

JOYCE AND I GO TO CRIMINAL PROCEDURES

NIGHT SCHOOL CLASS TOGETHER.

ONLY SHE'S ABOUT 100 CREDITS AHEAD OF ME.

YEP. LOOKING TO MAKE A CAREER CHANGE.

I KNOW, WHO WOULD WANT TO LEAVE ALL THIS, RIGHT?

DO YOU WANT ME TO FIND YOU A NEW CAREER?

OH, NO, I'M GOING TO BE A LAWYER.

SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO FIND?

WALTER, JOYCE RECENTLY LOST HER FATHER.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF A DOWNER, BUT...

SHE THINKS THAT HE WAS MURDERED.

I DO THINK THAT.

TELL WALTER WHY.

MY FATHER CALLED SEVERAL DAYS AGO,

VERY EXCITED, INSISTING THAT I MEET WITH HIM.

IT WAS STRANGE BECAUSE, WELL, DAD AND I DON'T REALLY DO THAT.

BUT I AGREED TO GO BY AND SEE HIM ON MY LUNCH HOUR.

AND WHEN I GOT THERE...

WHAT'S GOING ON?

SOME GUY JUMPED FROM A FOURTH FLOOR WINDOW.

BAM!

MA'AM, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO STEP BACK.

THAT'S MY FATHER.

FATHER.

WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS...

YES.

OH. THIS IS A LITTLE ODD.

THIS IS YOUR FATHER?

WALTER, TAKE IT EASY.

CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S UPSET?

THE POLICE SEARCHED MY FATHER'S APARTMENT

AND SAID THERE WAS ZERO EVIDENCE OF FOUL PLAY.

I CHECKED IN WITH METRO POLICE

AND THEY SAID STAN'S DEATH WAS RULED A SUICIDE.

SO YOU WANT ME TO FIND A NOTE, EVIDENCE OF FOUL PLAY,

OR A REASON YOUR FATHER KILLED HIMSELF?

MR. SHERMAN, MY FATHER WAS AN ETERNAL OPTIMIST.

HE BROUGHT ME UP TO BELIEVE THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS GET,

IF YOU HOLD YOUR MOUTH THE RIGHT WAY,

BETTER TIMES ARE AROUND THE CORNER.

DOES MY DAD LOOK DEPRESSED TO YOU?

I USED AN OPAQUE MAKEUP AND SPECIAL TONER ON HIS SKIN.

HE LOOKS GOOD, RIGHT?

WHAT DOES SHE WANT ME TO FIND?

I WANT YOU TO FIND WHOEVER KILLED MY FATHER.

SORRY. I DON'T FIND MURDERERS.

GOOD LUCK, THOUGH.

I'M SORRY.

OH, IT'S FINE. REALLY.

YOU TRIED, AND THAT IS AWESOME.

LUCK ELIMINATES EFFORT. IT'S LIKE A SUPERPOWER.

GOOD COMES FROM PRACTICE AND HARD WORK.

IT IS ITS OWN REWARD.

HEY, CODGERS. ACCORDING TO MY PERSONALITY SCORE,

I SHOULD BE AN OCEANOGRAPHER OR AN OBSTETRICIAN.

WELL, YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY ONLY READ UP TO THE Os.

AH. BEFORE YOU START YELLING, I DO NOT FIND MURDERERS.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IF I START LOOKING FOR MURDERERS, I'M GONNA SPEND

THE REST OF MY LIFE DOING IT. NO THANKS.

YOU ASKED WALTER TO FIND A MURDERER?

FOR A FRIEND OF MINE.

IF SOMEONE MURDERED ME, WOULD YOU FIND WHO DID IT?

DON'T PUT THAT OUT IN THE UNIVERSE.

MY COUSIN ERNESTO AT MIAMI METRO

SAID THEY CLOSED THE FILE ALREADY.

TRYING TO GUILT ME INTO IT.

IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

IT'S JUST THAT JOYCE IS A NICE PERSON.

SHE'S GOING THROUGH A REALLY ROUGH TIME RIGHT NOW.

THAT EXPLAINS WHY SHE SMILES SO MUCH.

IT'S A DEFENSE MECHANISM.

CAN'T YOU GET BY THAT RULE ON A TECHNICALITY?

Leo: WHAT? LIKE WHAT?

SAY WALTER WAS TO LOOK FOR THE MURDER WEAPON

AND FINDING THE MURDERER IS JUST A BY-PRODUCT.

MURDER WEAPON IS A STREET.

HE JUMPED? PUSHED.

BUT I LIKE THE WAY WILLA'S THINKING.

NO, NO, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY SHE'S THINKING.

SHE'S TRYING TO CON WALTER INTO SOMETHING.

FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT, STAN WAS KIND OF A LOSER.

IT'S NOT LIKE HER INHERITANCE WOULD MEAN ANYTHING.

SHE CAN'T FIND HER INHERITANCE?

THAT'S WHY HER FATHER CALLED HER.

ABOUT HER INHERITANCE.

WELL, I CAN FIND HER INHERITANCE.

Leo: AND THERE WE ARE.

AFTER MY MOTHER DIED,

MY DAD FOUND HIS BLISS AT THE TRACK.

I WAS 16 AND WENT TO WORK PUTTING MAKEUP ON DEAD PEOPLE.

THAT'S NOT EVEN IN THIS BOOK.

IT KEEPS BODY AND SOUL TOGETHER.

ENOUGH WITH THE DEAD PEOPLE.

JOYCE IS GOING TO LAW SCHOOL AT NIGHT.

SHE'S GOING TO GRADUATE THIS YEAR.

AND START MY OWN PRACTICE.

AN INHERITANCE WOULD HELP WITH THAT.

WHAT IS YOUR INHERITANCE?

I DON'T REALLY KNOW, BUT THIS IS EVERYTHING DAD OWNED.

THAT IS ONE UGLY-ASS WALLET.

I MADE THAT FOR MY FATHER IN SECOND GRADE.

CLEARLY YOUR FATHER LOVED YOU.

A LOT.

OTHERWISE HE'D HAVE THROWN THAT THING AWAY.

THANK YOU.

JOYCE, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW WALTER THE WITHDRAWAL SLIP.

MY FATHER WITHDREW $4,256 JUST BEFORE HE DIED.

THAT IS HER INHERITANCE.

I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT MY INHERITANCE.

WELL, WALTER DOES.

I'LL FIND THE MONEY.

I HAVE TO BE HONEST.

NO, YOU REALLY DON'T.

MY FATHER WAS ALWAYS IN DEBT.

WHEN HE COULD, HE BOUGHT ME STUFF,

BUT THAT MONEY IS PROBABLY--

I'LL FIND IT. HE WILL.

AND IF IT HAPPENS TO BE IN THE POCKET OF HIS KILLER,

ALL THE BETTER.

I THOUGHT OUR FIRST STOP WOULD BE STAN'S BANK.

I FOUND THIS IN STAN'S BOX OF JUNK.

A BETTING SLIP?

TAKE A LOOK AT THE BET.

$4,256.

STAN BET JOYCE'S INHERITANCE ON A HORSE.

DID THE HORSE WIN?

NO, IT DID NOT.

SO STAN LOST THE MONEY AND THE INHERITANCE IS GONE.

JOYCE SAID THAT WHEN STAN CALLED HER

HE WAS EXCITED TO TALK TO HER ABOUT HER INHERITANCE.

THAT WAS AFTER THE RACE.

NOW, DOES THAT SOUND LIKE SOMEBODY WHO LOST MONEY?

GAMBLERS LIVE IN CONSTANT HOPE.

CAN I GET YOU GENTLEMEN A SEAT?

COCKTAIL?

WE WANT SOME INFORMATION.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN HERE, WHAT, 30 YEARS?

TRY 40.

40 YEARS? THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.

NO, INFORMATION WILL COST YOU 40 BUCKS.

HERE'S 10.

CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT MY TIPS WILL RESULT IN A WIN.

WE DON'T WANT A TIP.

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS MAN?

THAT'S STAN.

HEARD HE PASSED AWAY.

DID YOU KNOW HIM WELL?

HE SAT IN MY SECTION FOR 20 YEARS.

20 YEARS, SAME SECTION.

20 YEARS, SAME SEAT. RIGHT HERE.

STAN LIKED TO GET HERE EARLY, WATCH THE HORSES WORKOUT.

WON'T SEEM RIGHT, HIM NOT COMING AROUND HERE ANYMORE.

DID STAN HAVE ANY ENEMIES?

NAH. EVERYBODY LIKED HIM.

ALTHOUGH HE WAS A TALKER.

ALWAYS YAPPING ABOUT HIS SYSTEM.

THEY ALWAYS GOT A SYSTEM.

[CHUCKLES] RIGHT HERE.

IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY CLOWN CAME THROUGH HERE

CLAMING THEY HAD A SYSTEM,

I'D BE RETIRED ON A BEACH IN THE BAHAMAS.

SO YOU DON'T THINK IT'S POSSIBLE

TO DEVELOP A SYSTEM TO PICK WINNERS?

HORSES ARE LIKE WOMEN.

HOW'S THAT?

YOU GO BROKE BEFORE YOU EVER FIGURE OUT

WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE THEIR HEADS.

[CHUCKLES]

WHERE ELSE DID STAN HANG OUT?

I DO NOT APPRECIATE HORSES.

THEY TEND TO STINK.

THINK OF IT AS WALKING THROUGH A MINEFIELD. WHOA.

SO YOU THINK STAN'S SYSTEM COULD BE THE INHERITANCE?

COULD BE.

THAT'S A PRETTY USELESS INHERITANCE.

YOU KNOW I DON'T PUT A VALUE ON THE THINGS I FIND, LEO.

I JUST FIND THEM. HI.

HI.

DO YOU MIND IF I TALK TO LUCY FOR A SECOND?

NOT IF YOU GIVE HER A PHONE NUMBER.

HEY, LUCY.

WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?

WALTER, YOU ARE NOT A HORSE WHISPERER.

THE FACT THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY WHISPERING TO A HORSE'S EARS

PROVES YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF THE TERM.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

THANKS, LUCY.

OH, ONE MORE THING.

LUCY, HOW DO YOU SAY HELLO IN HORSE?

[NICKERS]

LUCY DOESN'T TRUST THOSE GUYS.

WHAT?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[IMITATES HORSE]

[NEIGHING]

[NEIGHS]

SORRY.

HE SPOOKS EASY. COME ON.

SO ALL THAT ARGUING, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

THE FAT GUY CALL THE SHORT GUY SHORT,

OR THE TALL GUY CALL THE FAT GUY FAT?

WHAT'S IT TO YOU?

EASY NOW. THERE'S NO NEED TO BE RUDE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR HELP.

GENTLEMEN, ANY OF YOU RECOGNIZE THIS MAN?

SORRY, DOESN'T LOOK FAMILIAR.

HEY, ANGRY SHORT GUY. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

DO YOU WANT A POP IN THE NOSE?

'CAUSE I CAN GIVE YOU A POP IN THE NOSE.

EX-JOCKEY, RIGHT? QUIP WITH THE WHIP. HORSES HATE YOU.

YOU REALLY WANT A POP IN THE NOSE.

OH. YOU THINK I'M AFRAID OF YOU, HUH?

I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU.

THEN YOU'RE FOOLISH.

AND YOU.

I'M GUESSING TRAINER, RIGHT?

HOW'D YOU KNOW?

HORSES AND BOWLEGS, THEY DON'T LIE.

WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

ME? NO STORY. I'M A FRIEND.

I'M GOOD WITH HORSES.

WELL, THEN I'M GUESSING THAT YOU NOTICED

THAT THIS HORSE HAS A SWOLLEN KNEE.

I TOLD YOU, SWEET STAKES NEEDS TO BE RESTING.

SHUT YOUR TRAP, PORKY.

SAY CHEESE.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE US? WE GOT A WORKOUT TO FINISH.

YOU BET.

HEY, SHOW ME HOW TO COMPUTER-MA-JIGGY A PHOTO OVER TO ISABEL.

TELL HER TO RUN A BACKGROUND CHECK ON THESE GUYS.

LUCY WAS RIGHT. THERE'S SOMETHING OFF ABOUT THEM.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

HEY, WILLA.

WHAT'S UP?

DOING A FAVOR FOR WALTER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

DOING A FAVOR FOR WALTER.

TWO GYPSIES DOING FAVORS FOR A STRAIGHT.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

TIMO AND I ARE HEADING OVER TO THE TRACK.

YOU'RE NOT BANNED THERE OR ANYTHING, ARE YOU?

I TOLD YOU, I DON'T GET CAUGHT.

I WANT TO GO TO THE TRACK.

WHY CAN'T I GO TO THE TRACK?

MMM. YEAH, I NEED YOU HERE.

HE NEEDS YOU HERE.

I'M SIFTING THROUGH ALL THIS JUNK

AND YOU GUYS GET TO DO ALL THE EXCITING STUFF.

THE TRACK IS MY OLD STOMPING GROUND.

THE TRACK IS HIS OLD STOMPING GROUND.

Leo: STATUTE 8.0.18.

ILLEGAL TRESPASS. UP TO 60 DAYS IN JAIL.

Timo: THERE'S ONE GUARD AT THE GATE

AND THERE'S CAMERAS IN THE STALLS WITH THE HORSES.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

TIMO SPENT HIS BOYHOOD

PICKING UP BETTING SLIPS OFF THE GROUND

AND SELLING THEM TO IDIOTS FOR 10 CENTS ON THE DOLLAR.

PEOPLE FELL FOR THAT?

PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND I WAS REALLY CUTE.

THERE'S NO CAMERAS IN THE TACK ROOM?

NO.

ALL RIGHT, WORK YOUR GYPSY MAGIC.

THAT WAS FAST.

WAS IT EVEN LOCKED?

WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

SOMETHING HIDDEN.

WHOA.

CHECK THIS OUT.

IS THAT COKE?

IT'S NOT MY THING, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT.

THINK STAN STUMBLED UPON SOME TYPE OF DRUG RING?

[SNIFFS]

[COUGHS]

WALTER.

DO NOT...

DO THAT.

I'M GONNA BARF. THAT'S...

HMM. THE POWDER'S BAKING SODA.

THE URINE IS SOME KIND OF ENERGY DRINK.

TOOK A BIG CHANCE FINDING THAT OUT.

BAKING SODA, ENERGY DRINK.

YOU MIX THEM TOGETHER, POUR THEM DOWN THE HORSE'S THROAT

RIGHT BEFORE THE RACE, IT INCREASES CARBON DIOXIDE AND BLOOD

AND LESSENS LACTIC ACID BUILDUP.

THE HORSE RUNS FAST.

YOU DIDN'T JUST SELL BETTING TICKETS, AM I RIGHT?

I COURIED MESSAGES BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK TO EACH OTHER.

I PAID ATTENTION.

OW!

OHH.

NOW I'M GONNA BARF.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, STICKING YOUR HAND

WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG.

WALTER.

WALTER, YOU OK?

WHY ISN'T HE MOVING?

I THINK HE'S PARALYZED.

Isabel: YOU LOOK LIKE QUASIMODO.

I CALLED AHEAD AND ASKED WILLA

TO LOOK UP POSSIBLE PARALYTICS JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

AHH.

[SLURRING WORDS] THIS EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE

IN INDONESIA.

I THINK YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL

BECAUSE YOU WERE BREAKING THE LAW.

IT WAS ON A PARACHUTE MISSION. VERY HUSH-HUSH.

I BROKE MY LEG ON THE LANDING.

PYGMIES HAD TO CARRY ME 4 MILES TO A JUNGLE WITCH DOCTOR.

I PRINTED OUT A LIST OF DRUGS WITH SIMILAR SYMPTOMS,

BUT I WARN YOU, THERE'S A BUTTLOAD.

I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN,

BUT AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M FINE.

[GROANS]

DID YOU GET ANYTHING ON THE 3 STOOGES?

THE TALL MAN IS SWEET STAKES' TRAINER.

HIS NAME'S ED BEIDERMAN.

HE USED TO WORK FOR A BIG-TIME BREEDER.

LAST YEAR THE GUY GOES BANKRUPT.

THE TALL MAN ENDS UP GETTING SWEET STAKES IN LIEU OF BACK PAY.

WHY WOULD AN OWNER GIVE AWAY A WINNING HORSE?

SWEET STAKES HAD A HURT KNEE.

NOBODY THOUGHT HE WOULD MAKE IT BACK.

BUT HE ENDED UP WINNING TWO RACES IN THE LAST 6 WEEKS.

WHAT ABOUT THE SHORT MAN?

NAME'S LASZLO LEVY.

HE'S A JOURNEYMAN JOCKEY,

ARRESTED TWICE ON ASSAULT CHARGES.

A TRAINER WITH A LAME HORSE HOOKS UP

WITH A JOCKEY WHO'S NEVER RODE A WINNER.

- AND THE FAT MAN? - GARY ANTHONY JONES.

HE WAS ARRESTED LAST YEAR FOR SMUGGLING EXOTIC ANIMALS.

- WHAT KIND OF ANIMALS? - REPTILES, MOSTLY.

SNAKES? ALL SNAKES ARE REPTILES,

BUT NOT ALL REPTILES ARE SNAKES.

COBRA VENOM.

THE WITCH DOCTOR GAVE ME COBRA VENOM.

"COBRA VENOM. A POWERFUL PAIN KILLER.

SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE PARALYSIS."

WHAT WOULD THEY NEED THE COBRA VENOM FOR?

SWEET STAKES HAS A BAD KNEE.

COBRA VENOM WOULDN'T SHOW UP IN BLOOD OR URINE TESTS.

COBRA VENOM DULLS THE PAIN

AND THE BUZZ FUEL AND BAKING SODA INCREASE THE STAMINA.

THEY WERE DOPING THE HORSE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

ISABEL TOLD ME TO COME HELP.

WHY, IS SHE AFRAID I'M GOING TO STEAL YOUR INHERITANCE

FROM YOUR SHOEBOX?

I'M SURE ISABEL NEVER HAS THAT KIND OF SUSPICIOUS THOUGHT.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YOU ARE. YOU'RE SERIOUS.

DON'T YOU FIND IT EXHAUSTING

ACTING ALL PROZAC PRINCESS ALL THE TIME?

IT'S NOT HEALTHY.

I FOCUS ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

TO KEEP FROM GETTING SWALLOWED UP BY THE DARKNESS.

HOW CAN I HELP?

SEEMS LIKE MAYBE YOUR DAD OWED $200,000 TO SOMEONE.

OH, NO. NO, THIS IS MY STUDENT LOAN STATEMENT.

WAS YOUR DAD PAYING YOUR STUDENT LOANS?

NO. I'M NOT EVEN SURE HOW HE KNEW ABOUT THEM.

$200,000. THAT'S LIKE, WOW.

WITHOUT STUDENT LOANS, I'D BE STUCK PUTTING MAKEUP ON DEAD PEOPLE

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A BUSINESS CARD.

"GARY ANTHONY JONES. EVERGLADES EXOTICS."

YOUR FATHER WAS DATING A GAY STRIPPER.

OH, THIS IS ANIMAL EXOTICS,

LIKE A SHIH TZU.

IT'S A KIND OF DOG. YOU CAN LOOK IT UP.

I'M GONNA TELL WALTER.

ATTENTION, NAKED OLD PEOPLE. JUVENILE ENTERING.

YOU CAN UNCOVER YOUR EYES, WILLA.

NOBODY'S NAKED.

OH, I FOUND FAT MAN'S BUSINESS CARD

IN STAN'S BOX OF TREASURES.

THEY KNEW EACH OTHER?

[NORMAL VOICE] WILLA AND FAT MAN?

FAT MAN AND STAN.

FAT MAN DENIED KNOWING STAN.

LIAR. YOU WANT TO PAY HIM A VISIT?

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DRIVE.

[SCREECHING]

HELLO. ANYONE HOME?

UH-OH. WALTER, HE'S IN THERE.

YEAH. COME ON.

[GRUNTS]

Walter: NO, DON'T MIND ME.

YOU OK?

NOT REALLY.

WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?

HEY.

OH, SORRY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

GINGER BIT ME ON MY INNER THIGH.

OOH, KINKY. WHO'S GINGER?

MY PET COBRA.

I MUST HAVE LEFT THE CAGE OPEN.

SHE GOT OUT AND CURLED UP ON MY CHAIR.

THIS IS DEPUTY MARSHAL ISABEL ZAMBADA.

I'M GOING TO NEED AN AMBULANCE AT 4248 OCEAN DRIVE, MIAMI.

VICTIM IS SUFFERING FROM A SNAKE BITE.

COME ON, I'M GONNA GET YOU UP.

DON'T MOVE HIM. IT'LL JUST MAKE IT WORSE.

IT'S TOO LATE. I GOT BLURRY VISION, PARTIAL PARALYSIS.

IN A FEW MOMENTS, I'M GOING TO SUFFER

A TOTAL CARDIOVASCULAR COLLAPSE.

HANG ON, OK. THE AMBULANCE IS GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE, OK.

NO. I'M 100% DOOMED.

BEFORE YOU DIE,

WANT TO RID YOUR SOUL OF THE LIES AND STAIN

SO YOU DON'T BURN IN HELL?

WALTER.

HE KNEW STAN.

STAN FOUND OUT WE WERE DOPING SWEET STAKES.

SEE, DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER TO HAVE TOLD US?

STAN THREATENED TO TURN US IN.

WHAT, SO YOU KILL HIM?

NO, WE PAID HIM OFF.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PAID HIM OFF?

$51,072.

WALTER. 51,000.

DON'T MOVE.

UH, THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.

[HUMMING]

SNAKES ARE DEAF. THAT DOESN'T WORK.

AWESOME.

OH, GOD.

[ANIMALS SCREECHING]

OH, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO KILL HER?

SHE NEVER MEANT ANY HARM.

[GASPING]

FAT MAN. HEY.

YOU LIKE THIS, RIGHT? LIKE WHAT?

BEING ALMOST LIKE A REAL COP

INSTEAD OF A MARSHALL.

YOU KNOW, I CAN GET YOU IN AS A DETECTIVE.

SAY THE WORD.

IS THERE ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THE WAY THE GUY DIED?

WE GOT TWO DOZEN RARE SPECIES

IN A PRIVATE RESIDENCE WITH NO LICENSE.

I'D SAY THE POOR SLOB WAS ASKING FOR IT.

SO YOU THINK IT WAS AN ACCIDENT?

I HAVE A WITNESS, FAIRLY CREDIBLE.

I'M REFERRING TO YOU.

OH, YEAH, I GOT IT.

HE FORGOT TO LATCH THE DEADLY COBRA'S CAGE.

SNAKE BIT HIM. SEEMS PRETTY OPEN AND SHUT TO ME.

EH, IT WAS MURDER.

MURDER? HOW YOU FIGURE?

OH, THIS IS THAT GUY, HUH?

WALTER HAS HIS OWN... PROCESS.

FLOOR'S COLD, HUH?

I HEAR YOU.

THE FLOOR IS COOL. SNAKES ARE ATTRACTED TO HEAT.

GINGER WOULD HAVE STAYED OVER NEAR THE HEATER,

NOT SLITHER ACROSS A COLD FLOOR TO A CHAIR.

WHICH MEANS THAT SOMEBODY PUT THE SNAKE IN FAT MAN'S CHAIR.

WELL, I CANNOT PUT THAT IN A GROWN-UP POLICE REPORT.

YOU GOT A MOTIVE?

MY COUSIN AT THE PARI-MUTUEL COMMISSION CALLED

AND SAID THE FAT MAN ASKED ABOUT A PLEA DEAL.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN OVER FOR SOMEONE WHEN THE FAT MAN SANG.

WHO? TALL MAN AND SHORT MAN.

I FIGURE THEY WERE AFTER JOYCE'S INHERITANCE.

OOH, HEY, CAN I KEEP THE RATS?

THEY'RE NOT EVIDENCE, THEY'RE JUST GINGER SNACKS.

GINGER'S THE NAME OF THE COBRA.

FINE BY ME.

LISTEN, CALL ME.

REAL JOB.

OH. HEY.

YOU'VE BEEN BUSY?

YEAH, I THOUGHT I'D GIVE YOU A HEAD START ON YOUR CRAZINESS.

WHAT'S IN THERE?

OH, RATS FOR THE SNAKE.

WHAT SNAKE?

THE ONE ISABEL SHOT.

DON'T ASK.

HEY, WHY ARE YOU BEING SO HELPFUL ALL THE SUDDEN?

MAYBE I LIKE JOYCE.

NO, SERIOUSLY.

OK, SHE'S WEIRD, RIGHT,

SPENDS ALL HER TIME PUTTING MAKEUP ON DEAD PEOPLE,

MAKES A TERRIBLE LIVING,

AND STILL SHE MANAGES TO CON SOMEBODY

INTO LENDING HER $200,000.

I FIND THAT VERY INTERESTING.

WHOSE GLASSES ARE THESE?

THEY WERE JOYCE'S DAD'S.

SO WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF?

I PRETENDED I WAS YOU AND MADE A BIG MESS.

UH-HUH. AND?

IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL.

UH, "WINDMILL TILTER, AUGUST 12.

QUARTER MILE. EARLY SPEED. FOURTH PLACE. 5 TO 1."

TIMO SAYS IT'S RACE JARGON.

AND THIS IS CALLED SNUFF. IT'S NOT LIKE KILL,

BUT APPARENTLY OLD DUDES USED TO SNIFF IT IN CAVEMAN TIMES.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT?

I KNOW WHAT THIS STUFF IS.

CALL ME IF YOU WANT TO GO OVER THE TEST CASE. I'LL BE STUDYING.

JOYCE, I JUST HAVE TO SAY,

IT'S INCREDIBLE HOW YOU'RE ABLE TO STAY FOCUSED

EVEN THOUGH YOUR FATHER DIED

AND YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON DEAD PEOPLE ALL DAY.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER. YEAH.

JOYCE.

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M A FRIEND OF YOUR FATHER'S.

FROM THE TRACK?

WELL, HE OWES ME 50 GRAND.

YOU LENT MY FATHER $50,000?

WELL, IT WAS MORE OF AN INVESTMENT REALLY,

BUT HE DIDN'T COME THROUGH AND NOW I WANT IT BACK.

YOU JUST HOLD ON THERE, MISTER.

MY FATHER NEVER CHEATED ANYONE IN HIS LIFE.

SORRY TO BE SO ADAMANT.

YOUR FATHER CALLED YOU JUST BEFORE HE DIED

AND TOLD YOU WHERE HE HID THE MONEY.

YOU TALKED TO MY FATHER JUST BEFORE HE WAS MURDERED?

GOOD! SEE, YOU'RE STARTING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S AT STAKE HERE.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

AND I AM GOING TO SCREAM.

NO! [GASPS]

YOU'RE GONNA KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

FREEZE! DEPUTY MARSHAL!

JOYCE, YOU ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S THE FIRST TIME MY LIFE HAS EVER BEEN THREATENED.

I GUESS IT'S A VALUABLE LIFE EXPERIENCE, RIGHT?

YOU OK? YES. GOOD.

SO THIS IS HOW YOU PICK A WINNING HORSE?

EXACTLY.

IF THAT'S TRUE, THEN MAYBE THIS IS JOYCE'S INHERITANCE.

I THOUGHT THE $4,256 WAS HER INHERITANCE.

STAN BET THAT MONEY ON A HORSE THAT LOST.

JOYCE'S INHERITANCE IS OBVIOUSLY THE $50,000

THE THREE STOOGES GAVE HIM AS A PAYOFF.

OOH.

WHAT? WHAT?

MATH.

NUMBER ONE ON THE LIST OF "THINGS I HATE."

STAN BET $4,056 TO WIN ON 11 TO 1 ODDS.

AND LOST HIS MONEY.

OH, HE WOULD HAVE WON $51,072.

EXACT AMOUNT HE GOT FROM THE THREE STOOGES.

STAN ONLY TOOK THE AMOUNT OF MONEY HE SHOULD HAVE WON.

STAN'S SYSTEM WORKS.

WHEN HE LOST, HE KNEW IT WAS

BECAUSE SWEET STAKES WAS DOPED.

SO THE $51,072 IS JOYCE'S INHERITANCE.

WELL, FOR THE TIME BEING.

ONCE WE FIGURE OUT HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS,

THEN THAT WILL TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MONEY.

[MICE SQUEAKING]

HEY, JOYCE WAS ATTACKED BY TALL MAN.

I'M FINE. ISABEL WAS THERE.

I BET YOU GOT SOMETHING WONDERFUL OUT OF IT.

YES. A WOMAN ALONE SHOULD NOT TARRY IN A PARKING GARAGE.

I FILED A REPORT AND I PUT OUT AN APB.

JOYCE SHOULD STAY HERE WHERE WE CAN KEEP AN EYE ON HER.

I WAS HOPING YOU'D SAY THAT.

COME ON, I'LL MAKE YOU A CUP OF TEA.

ARE THOSE THE RATS FROM FAT MAN'S HOUSE?

THEY ARE MY THOROUGHBREDS.

STAN ESTIMATES EACH RAT'S CHANCE OF WINNING

BASED ON 5 FACTORS--

CLASS, SPEED, CONNECTION, BREEDING, AND FORM.

HE STAYS AWAY FROM HORSES THAT ARE SWITCHING SURFACES

OR RACES WITH MORE THAN TWO FIRST TIME STARTERS.

NOW, YOU READY? START THIS?

[GUNSHOT]

STAN ONLY BET ON RATS AT A PROVEN DISTANCE

WHO HAD 45 TO 60 DAYS OFF BETWEEN RACES

AND AN AVERAGE OF LESS THAN 6 STARTS PER YEAR.

HORSES WHOSE ODDS ARE BETWEEN 2 TO 1 AND 6 TO 1 AT THEIR LAST START

AND HAD SHOWN EARLY SPEED IN RECENT RACES.

PLUS, STAN WENT TO ALL THE WORKOUTS,

SO HE KNEW WHICH RATS WERE LOOKING GOOD FOR THEIR NEXT RACE.

A-HA!

IT WORKS.

COME HERE, YOU LITTLE WINNER.

WHAT EXACTLY DOES THIS ALL PROVE?

ACCORDING TO STAN'S SYSTEM,

SWEET STAKES SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN FIFTH, NOT FIRST.

IF HE HADN'T HAVE BEEN DOPED,

STAN'S RAT WOULD HAVE WON.

AND HE DID. TA-DA.

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER P.A.]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU SAID WALTER HAS A SYSTEM.

YEAH.

SO I SCRAPED TOGETHER EVERYTHING I COULD.

2 GRAND. WHAT?

YOU'RE GOING TO BET?

IT DOESN'T HURT ANYONE.

YOU, TIMO PROUD, ARE GOING TO BET

ON A SYSTEM FOUND BY WALTER SHERMAN?

YOU SAID THAT HE SAID THAT THIS IS A SURE THING.

YES, BUT WALTER ALSO THINKS HIGH DEFINITION TV

IS THE GOVERNMENT'S WAY TO SPY ON US.

WILL YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT HORSE TO BET ON?

IT'S NOT GONNA HURT ANYONE.

I GET A 25% FINDER'S FEE.

FINE. WHICH HORSE?

PHARAOH'S FAVORITE.

(Commentator, Indistinct)

(Commentator, Indistinct)

COME ON. MAMA NEEDS A NEW CONVERTIBLE.

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

THEY'RE TURNING FOR HOME, IT'S JUMPIN' JELLYFISH.

COMING DOWN THE OTHER RAIL IT'S LUCKY'S CHARM.

LUCKY'S CHARM DRIVING THROUGH WITH AN 1/8 OF A MILE TO GO.

- IT'S LUCKY'S CHARM, JUMPIN' JELLYFISH... - WHAT THE--?

BUT ON THE OUTSIDE, IT'S PHARAOH'S FAVORITE!

IT'S PHARAOH'S FAVORITE, PULLING AWAY BY A HALF A LEG!

OH! AAH! WE WON! WE WON!

YES!

OH, MY GOSH.

HEY, TAKE SMALLER BITES.

YOU SHOULD TRY TO CONTROL YOURSELF.

HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM RIGHT NOW? WE JUST WON.

THAT MEANS THE SYSTEM WORKS.

WE'RE GONNA BE RICH, WALTER.

HMM, YOU DIDN'T WIN ANYTHING, ISABEL. THAT WAS MY MONEY.

OH, COME ON, DON'T RUIN EVERYTHING.

CAN'T YOU LEARN FROM JOYCE AND SEE THE SUNNY SIDE OF THINGS?

AND I'M THE CRAZY ONE?

BUT THE UPSIDE IS,

I FOUND OUT WHAT JOYCE'S INHERITANCE IS.

THE $51,072, RIGHT?

IT'S WHAT THE $51,072 TURNED INTO

AFTER HE BET IT ON A HORSE.

WHICH HORSE?

STAN TOOK HIS LIFE SAVINGS AND BET IT ON A HORSE.

NOW, THAT HORSE LOST BECAUSE ANOTHER HORSE CHEATED.

STAN THREATENED TO EXPOSE THOSE CHEATERS

AND THEY GAVE HIM $51,072 AS HUSH MONEY.

MY FATHER BLACKMAILED SOMEONE?

NOT IN A BAD WAY.

NOW, STAN TOOK THAT MONEY

AND HE BET IT ON ANOTHER HORSE.

EXCUSE ME.

UM, MY DAD LIKED TO GAMBLE,

BUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WHEN HE WON,

HE BOUGHT ME SOMETHING.

I DON'T MEAN CARS AND HORSES. THIS WATCH.

THESE EARRINGS.

ONCE HE GOT ME 3 FUN-FILLED DAYS IN ORLANDO,

WHICH WAS AWESOME.

IF MY DAD WON THAT KIND OF MONEY,

HE'D BUY ME A PRESENT, BUT HE DIDN'T.

THIS TIME HE SET HIS SIGHTS A LITTLE HIGHER, JOYCE.

OH, MY GOD.

HE WAS PAYING OFF JOYCE'S STUDENT LOANS

SO SHE COULD START HER LIFE FRESH.

THAT'S A PRETTY GREAT INHERITANCE.

IN ORDER FOR MY DAD TO WIN THIS KIND OF MONEY,

HE'D HAVE TO HAVE A SURE THING AT 4 TO 1 ODDS.

STAN'S SYSTEM SAYS THAT THE BEST BET

WOULD HAVE BEEN THE NUMBER TWO RAT IN THE SIXTH RACE TODAY.

RAT? WALTER MEANT HORSE.

OH.

PHARAOH'S FAVORITE.

THAT'S THE HORSE THAT WON EARLIER TODAY.

AT 4 TO 1 ODDS, STAN'S PAYOUT WOULD BE...

$255,360.

THAT IS YOUR INHERITANCE.

AND THAT'S WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.

A BETTING SLIP OF A WAGER

PLACED BY YOUR FATHER BEFORE HE CALLED YOU

WORTH OVER 250 GRAND.

SO WHERE IS IT?

I JUST FIGURED OUT WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

I MEAN, GIVE ME A MINUTE, WILL YOU?

SORRY.

AHEM.

HORSE CAME IN AT 4 TO 1.

2,000 BUCKS BECOMES 8.

IT'S A NICE, SHINY TROPHY.

YOU KNOW, SHAD'S GOT EYES AT THE TRACK.

HE PROBABLY KNOWS EXACTLY HOW MUCH WE SCORED.

MATTER OF RESPECT. YOU GIVE HIM HIS DUE,

MAYBE HE SELLS YOU THE RIGHT TO MARRY MAGDALENA.

WE ALREADY GAVE SHAD A PAIR OF DIAMOND EARRINGS WORTH 10 GRAND.

AND WHAT DID WE GET OUT OF THAT?

NOTHING IS WHAT.

TIMO, SHAD'S GOT A NUMBER IN HIS HEAD.

MAYBE IT'S YOUR AGE OR MAYBE IT'S AN ADDRESS OR YOUR IQ.

WHEN YOU HIT THAT NUMBER, WHATEVER IT IS,

HE'LL LET YOU MARRY MAGDALENA.

I GOT SOMETHING IN MY HEAD, TOO.

YOU CAN'T GIVE UNCLE SHAD STAN'S BETTING SYSTEM.

RIGHT. I FORGOT,

YOU GOT SCRUPLES WHEN IT COMES TO WALTER.

WALTER SAYS THE SYSTEM IS SPECIFIC TO THE DEAD GUY'S EXPERIENCE.

IT WON'T WORK AGAIN. THAT'LL PISS SHAD OFF.

WELL, EXCUSE ME IF I DOUBT YOU,

BUT DO YOU THINK I MISSED THE FACT

THAT YOU TOLD ME WALTER'S VAULT WAS FULL OF WORTHLESS JUNK?

AND HE POKES HIS HEAD OUT LIKE A GOPHER

WEARING 10 GRAND WORTH OF DIAMONDS.

I DID NOT MISS THAT FACT.

I MISSED THE DIAMONDS IN THE JUNK.

THAT'S ALL.

STOP AT THE POST OFFICE.

WHY?

'CAUSE I'VE GOT SOMETHING ELSE GOING

THAT COULD SCORE BIG AND SHUT YOU UP

ABOUT WALTER'S VAULT FULL OF DIAMONDS.

YOU CAN APOLOGIZE TO ME WHENEVER YOU WANT.

I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING TO HELP ME.

SO DOES MAGDALENA.

MAGDALENA'S AN IDIOT AND SO ARE YOU.

TOO BAD I BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE.

RIGHT.

ANYTHING INTERESTING?

UM, JUST THE USUAL.

BILLS AND SUCH.

WHAT'S ALL THAT?

OH, IT'S JUST SOME LETTERS FOR ME.

YOU KNOW, GENERAL CORRESPONDENCE.

SINCE WHEN DO PEOPLE FROM YOUR GENERATION WRITE LETTERS?

UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI.

FLORIDA STATE.

WILLA, ARE YOU--

I'M JUST EXPLORING MY OPTIONS.

YOU KNOW, IN CASE I DECIDE TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

SCHOOL OF OCEANOGRAPHY.

I'M IMPRESSED. DON'T BE.

TO BE HONEST, I'M NOT EXACTLY A FISH GIRL,

BUT I DO LIKE THE BEACH.

I SEE THIS AS A VERY POSITIVE SIGN.

IT'S REALLY NO BIG DEAL.

YOU KNOW, AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE ACTUALLY TEACHES--

DON'T DO THAT.

DO WHAT?

TRY AND HELP ME.

I MEAN, IF I'M GONNA DO THIS,

I WANT TO DO IT ON MY OWN.

I DON'T NEED YOU HOVERING OVER ME,

PRESSURING ME TO MEET PROFESSOR DINKLEDORF

OR TO JOIN KAPPA BETA BLONDE BORE SORORITY.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY EARNED THE RIGHT

TO THINK FOR YOURSELF WITHOUT ME NAGGING.

MR. SHERMAN.

I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN.

NO. UM...

I CAME TO SAY I FEEL LIKE YOU ALREADY FOUND MY INHERITANCE.

THE BETTING SLIP IS YOUR INHERITANCE.

I JUST HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT WHERE YOUR FATHER HID IT YET.

MY REAL INHERITANCE IS THE KNOWLEDGE THAT MY FATHER LOVED ME SO MUCH

HE PUT HIS WHOLE LIFE'S WORK INTO GIVING ME A GOOD LIFE.

[CHUCKLES]

WHY IS THAT FUNNY?

USUALLY WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME TO FIND SOMETHING,

THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, THEY DO.

DID YOU NOT KNOW YOUR FATHER LOVED YOU?

NO. NO, NOT SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

HOW?

I GOT MY SUNNY DISPOSITION FROM HIM.

HE GAVE IT TO ME IN A STORY.

WHAT STORY?

THE STORY OF ST. DUNSTAN.

ST. DUNSTAN WAS A BLACKSMITH.

ONE DAY THE DEVIL CAME TO TEMPT HIM

DISGUISED AS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

BUT ST. DUNSTAN SAW THROUGH THE DISGUISE

AND SENT THE WOMAN AWAY.

YEAH, I NOTICE THAT SAINTS

OFTEN MAKE SOME VERY BAD DECISIONS.

NEXT TIME, THE DEVIL SHOWED UP AS A TRAVELING SALESMAN,

BUT ST. DUNSTAN WASN'T FOOLED

AND HE CHASED THE DEVIL AWAY WITH A RED HOT POKER.

THAT'S PRETTY BAD ASS FOR A SAINT.

AFTER THAT, SATAN SWORE HE WOULD NEVER AGAIN GO

INTO ANY BUILDING THAT HAD A HORSESHOE ABOVE THE DOOR,

WHICH IS WHY HORSESHOES ARE STILL CONSIDERED LUCKY TODAY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

NOTHING.

LET'S GO GET YOUR INHERITANCE.

[MUFFLED SCREAMS] SLEEP.

AAH! OH, GOD, NO!

HELP! HELP!

HELP! SOMEBODY! SHH!

SHH! NO!

Tall Man: IF HE DIES, WE NEVER FIND THE MONEY.

Short Man: WELL, FOR A BIG GUY, HE WENT DOWN PRETTY EASY.

AHH, SEE, HE'S FINE.

WELCOME BACK.

WHAT'D I MISS?

BAD GUYS ARE BACK.

THE KNOW ABOUT THE BETTING SLIP.

YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH CAUGHT UP.

YEAH, SO IF YOU GIVE US THE BETTING SLIP,

WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY.

YEAH. THIS IS WHY I DON'T FIND MURDERERS.

COME ON, THE BETTING SLIP,

OR HE STARTS SHOOTING PEOPLE IN THE KNEECAPS.

GOOD. THEN YOU'LL HAVE A NICE EYE LEVEL VIEW.

Leo: WILLA.

YOU KNOW, JUST FOR THAT,

YOU'RE GONNA BE THE FIRST ONE SHOT.

JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA SHOOT A GIRL.

OH, MAN. CAN YOU AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE TOUGH

AT THIS PHASE OF THE OPERATION?

HEY, RELAX.

JOYCE ALREADY SAID SHE FEELS LIKE SHE FOUND HER INHERITANCE.

I DO. I DO TOTALLY THINK THAT.

GOOD. THEN HAND OVER THE BETTING SLIP.

YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN RIGHT HERE UNDER OUR NOSES THE WHOLE TIME.

NO WAY. I WENT THROUGH EVERYTHING.

WELL, DID YOU LOOK IN HERE?

EW. GROSS. NO.

GIVE IT HERE. BRING IT HERE.

OPEN IT.

JEEZ.

[BLOWS] [COUGHS]

AT!

[SPITS] REAL FUNNY.

AH-CHOO!

OOH!

NOW, THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF I HAD THE GUN.

- THANK GOD IT'S OVER. - OH, IT AIN'T OVER.

[CLANK]

JUST ME AND YOU, PAL.

NOW. HAND TO HAND. WINNER TAKES ALL.

WHAT?

- DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOOT HIM? - NO, IT'S OVER.

ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SHOOT HIM?

YOU WANT ME TO TAKE HIM, LEO?

I ENJOY FIGHTING BIGGER GUYS.

I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE. NOW, DEFEND YOURSELF.

- AGAINST WHAT? - AGAINST THIS.

[GRUNTS]

NO VIPER SO LITTLE BUT HATH ITS POISON.

AAH!

OH!

I'M NOT PROUD OF THAT.

HE'S NO BIGGER THAN A CHILD.

HE GAVE YOU NO CHOICE.

YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST STEPPED ON HIM.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY

THAT YOU WERE A BULLY.

Detective: ALL RIGHT, TAKE HIM AWAY.

[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]

[GROANS]

THEY'RE SO CUTE WHEN THEY'RE ASLEEP.

I TRIED TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK.

PRINTS ON THE COBRA CAGE WILL MATCH THE LITTLE FELLA'S.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

WHO ELSE COULD FIT THROUGH THE DOGGY DOOR?

YOU FOUND MY FATHER'S MURDERERS.

NOT ON PURPOSE.

A BY-PRODUCT OF FINDING YOUR INHERITANCE.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE BETTING SLIP IS?

YES, I DO.

WOW.

I LOOK BEAUTIFUL, RIGHT?

YOU LOOK LIKE COSMO'S MOM.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I BROUGHT YOU 25% OF MY PHARAOH'S FAVORITE WINNINGS.

4 TO 1. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

TAKE MY PICTURE.

WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPIER ABOUT OUR WINNINGS?

SMILE.

NO, I'M TRYING TO LOOK MATURE AND RESPONSIBLE.

WHY?

BECAUSE I'M GOING TO APPLY FOR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS

WORTH OF STUDENT LOANS.

BUT THANKS FOR THE SPARE CHANGE.

WHAT?

I JUST REALIZED COSMO'S MOM IS A BIT OF A MILF.

UGH. YUCK. TIMO.

SEE YOU LATER.

WALTER, THIS SYSTEM OF STAN'S,

HOW MANY MORE TIMES WILL IT WORK?

NONE. WHY?

'CAUSE THE SYSTEM IS BUILT ON A NUMBER OF VARIABLES

THAT DEPEND ON STAN'S KNOWLEDGE

AFTER HANGING OUT HERE AT THE TRACK FOR ALL THE YEARS.

YOU MEAN MY DAD DIDN'T WASTE HIS LIFE?

NO, HE DIDN'T.

HE SAT IN THE EXACT SAME SEAT EVERY TIME.

HE EVEN CARVED A HORSESHOE INTO THE SEAT. SEE?

ST. DUNSTAN.

IT'S THE NUMBER TWO HORSE IN THE SIXTH RACE THAT RAN YESTERDAY.

PHARAOH'S FAVORITE.

THAT TICKET IS WORTH $255,360.

MAN, I WISH LEO WAS HERE.

WHY?

WELL, BECAUSE HE'D PROBABLY SAY

THAT WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE

AND WHO OBVIOUSLY LOVED YOU,

IT'S ALL RIGHT NOT TO SEE THE BRIGHT SIDE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT TO BE SAD.

HE DID IT.

MY FATHER FINALLY CAME THROUGH FOR ME

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

WELL, TECHNICALLY, I FOUND THE TICKET.

BUT YES. RIGHT NOW IT'S ABOUT YOUR FATHER.

YOU KNOW, LEO'S RIGHT.

IT'S OK TO BE SAD.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU BOTH FOR EVERYTHING.

[SOBBING] OH, MY GOD.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S STILL ONE THING I'M CURIOUS ABOUT.

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

TO THE MONEY I WON AT THE TRACK.

THE MONEY WE WON.

I'M THE ONE THAT PLACED THE BET, REMEMBER?

IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I WAS BANNED FROM THE SPORT.

OK, SPILL IT. WHAT'D YOU DO WITH IT?

I SPENT IT.

YOU SPENT IT?

ON WHAT?

COME ON.

YOU GOT A HORSE.

AAH!

WALTER, I DO NOT LIKE HORSES.

SWEET STAKES NEEDED A GOOD HOME.

BE CAREFUL. HE'S A METHANE-PRODUCING BEHEMOTH.

YOU KNOW THAT MANURE'S ACTUALLY A NATURAL FERTILIZER.

DO I LOOK LIKE A GARDENER TO YOU?

LOOK AT MY SHOES.

THIS HORSE OWES ME ABOUT $900.

IT'S ONLY GONNA BE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS

UNTIL THE RESCUE AGENCY CAN PICK HIM UP.

WELL, IT CAN'T BE SOON ENOUGH IF YOU ASK ME.

WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE?

YOU KNOW HOW?

YEAH. I'VE BEEN RIDING SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

COME ON.

YOU ARE FULL OF SURPRISES.

YOU KNOW, I CAN ALSO YODEL AND TWIRL A BATON.

CAN YOU TURN YOUR EYELIDS INSIDE OUT?

CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR TONGUE TO YOUR NOSE?

[LAUGHS]

WHAT--WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HOLD ON TO?

NOT THAT.

[LAUGHS]

WHAT'S THAT MEAN?