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Bethune: Thank you, everyone,
for joining us today at this
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00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:10,825
meetup of the
South Side Business Alliance.
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00:00:10,827 --> 00:00:14,337
And, of course, our thanks
to RTO for hosting us.
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00:00:14,344 --> 00:00:17,554
[ Applause ]
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00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:20,031
Some of you know me,
I'm Adam Bethune.
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Man: Whoo!
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[ Applause ]
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00:00:21,965 --> 00:00:24,025
I'm joined today by Lamar Wilson
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00:00:24,034 --> 00:00:26,344
and Lafe Taylor
from the Wacoinda project,
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00:00:26,344 --> 00:00:28,664
as well as
Jerry Scottadalehauser
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00:00:28,655 --> 00:00:30,785
who's a Crypto entrepreneur.
Now, the Lamar, Lafe --
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00:00:30,793 --> 00:00:33,383
I guess you could say I started
from the bottom, now I'm here.
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00:00:33,379 --> 00:00:34,689
No, Jerry --
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00:00:34,689 --> 00:00:36,099
You know, it's funny,
I used to owe RTO money.
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00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,483
Jerry. We're actually
gonna start over here.
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00:00:38,482 --> 00:00:41,142
Stay tuned.
Press pause.
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00:00:41,137 --> 00:00:42,547
I'll be right back with you
in a minute.
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00:00:42,551 --> 00:00:45,621
Lamar, Lafe, what got
you guys into Bitcoin?
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00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:47,240
Well, there are people right
here on the South Side...
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00:00:47,241 --> 00:00:48,661
Mm-hmm.
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00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:50,855
...that can't participate
in the economy because --
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Because in the words
of Langston Hughes,
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"Life for them ain't been
no crystal stair."
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I was gonna say because
they don't have bank accounts
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or credit cards.Okay, sure, that too.
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00:01:00,206 --> 00:01:01,826
But everybody
has a smartphone,
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and with Bitcoin it's like
you're carrying your bank
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in your own pocket.
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00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:06,830
It's actually
the economic freedom aspect
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that attracted us.
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And, Jerry,
it's my understanding
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that you're the CEO
of something called Litcoin.
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Oh.
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What exactly is Litcoin,
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and how is it different?
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Well, I guess the biggest
difference between
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Litcoin and Bitcoin
is Litcoin is...lit.
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[ Applause ]
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So, what I'm trying to say is,
who wants a free T-shirt?
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[ Laughs ]
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Oh! Oh!
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Yeah!
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♪ I was born on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
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♪ I was raised
on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
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♪ Everybody stick together
like we in a line ♪
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♪ 'Cause it ain't no side
like the South Side ♪
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♪ On the South Side ♪
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♪ South Side! ♪
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So the prices on these lamps
went up just a tad.
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So instead of $4 a week, you're
gonna be paying $13 a week.
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Okay?
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[ Computer beeps ]
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"Pay with Litcoin?"
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Q! This bum-ass store
take Litcoin now?
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Wait, what, we take Litcoin now?
Since when?
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00:01:56,862 --> 00:01:58,662
Hold up. Hold up, brother.
Wait, we got Litcoin?
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00:01:58,655 --> 00:01:59,785
Oh, shit.
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00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:01,313
It's all about
that blockchain.
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00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:03,070
They take Litcoin down the
street. I heard about that.
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00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:06,138
[ Whispering ] Shh!
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00:02:06,137 --> 00:02:07,927
We don't take it...yet.
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00:02:07,931 --> 00:02:09,241
-Come on, now.
-Sorry, sorry.
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00:02:09,241 --> 00:02:10,521
-Hurry.
-Excuse me. Sorry.
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00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:12,027
Excuse me,
fake-ass Questlove.
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00:02:12,034 --> 00:02:14,104
[ Hushed voice ] Okay, look.
We are in possession
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00:02:14,103 --> 00:02:16,523
of insider information
like Martha Stewart.
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My wife made
a tuna casserole, man.
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00:02:17,896 --> 00:02:19,376
It's getting cold.
I'm really hungry.
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00:02:19,379 --> 00:02:20,619
What is this all about?
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00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:22,280
This is about us
getting P-A-I-D.
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RTO is about
to take Litcoin.
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Oh, then other stores will
probably start taking it, too.
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00:02:25,655 --> 00:02:27,755
Exactly. That means
Litcoin is about to pop.
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00:02:27,758 --> 00:02:30,928
Warren Buffett said that
"crypto is rat poisoning."
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That's what he said.
It actually kills actual rats.
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Hey, everybody,
if Bishop thinks it's stupid,
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you know that shit is smart.
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All: Ooh!
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You know what I'm about to do?
I'm about to "ooh" upstairs
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and get all the commission
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00:02:42,034 --> 00:02:43,554
'cause all y'all dumbasses
down here.
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Anyway, anyway,
all right, all right.
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Look, look, look.
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I got five on it.
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-$5?
-Mm-hmm.
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In all honesty, this is a better
investment than your son.
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00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:52,340
-[ Exhales sharply ]
-Oh.
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00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:53,454
I hate doing this to you...
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00:02:53,448 --> 00:02:54,518
[ All murmuring ]
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00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:56,307
But you know what I'm sayin'?
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00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,030
All right, nigga.
Square up.
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I meant for your son.
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00:02:59,172 --> 00:03:00,452
Don't touch me.
[ Sighs ]
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00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,618
I'm not, I'm not.
For. F-O-R.
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00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:05,170
[ Breathing shakily ]
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00:03:05,172 --> 00:03:07,452
Sims...
[ Chuckles ]
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Y'all get Litcoin.
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00:03:09,103 --> 00:03:10,833
Let's work together.
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00:03:10,827 --> 00:03:12,717
Turner: Don't hit me with
the "I ain't no snitch."
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00:03:12,724 --> 00:03:14,244
You know how dumb
you sound talkin' about
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00:03:14,241 --> 00:03:15,481
some "no snitching"?
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That's like going to
the hospital,
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being severely injured,
and when they ask you
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"What's wrong?"
"I can't tell you."
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Oh, what?
You just gonna die, dumbass?
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00:03:22,448 --> 00:03:24,618
What?
You gonna bleed out, bitch?
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00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,690
Stupid. Snitch.
Snitch. Snitch.
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00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:28,659
I want all snitches in here.
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00:03:28,655 --> 00:03:31,235
[ Upbeat music plays ]
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[ Crowd applauds ]
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What is a dollar?
Right?
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I mean, a dollar
is just a promise.
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It's not backed by anything.
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00:03:39,482 --> 00:03:42,452
But Litcoin is about
the promise of you.
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That's why today,
I have huge news.
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I am very proud to announce
the Litcoin Merchant Alliance.
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Featuring all these
amazing merchants and businesses
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00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:55,097
and more now accepting Litcoin.
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00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:56,283
[ Cheers and applause ]
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00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:59,025
Troublemaker.
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00:03:59,034 --> 00:04:01,384
Malcontent.
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00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:02,789
Are you an at-risk youth?
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00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:04,103
I don't know if we...
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00:04:04,103 --> 00:04:06,243
You seem at risk.
But you know what?
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00:04:06,241 --> 00:04:08,971
I like you...sir.
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00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:10,095
Pugilist.
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00:04:10,103 --> 00:04:12,553
Oh, yeah.
Like, yeah, you know.
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00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,381
I know the type.
Quick to fight.
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00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:17,859
Want to settle things with these
ten things right here, huh?
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00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:24,002
What if the next guy that you
want to thrash has one of these?
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00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,590
Yeah.
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00:04:25,586 --> 00:04:27,206
You got to think about that
before you approach somebody.
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00:04:27,206 --> 00:04:29,136
You got to ask yourself,
hey, wait a second,
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00:04:29,137 --> 00:04:31,137
what if...he's...p--
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00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:33,067
Turner: Ooh! Ohh!
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00:04:33,068 --> 00:04:35,518
Oh. Oh, Goodnight,
137
00:04:35,517 --> 00:04:36,787
um, you okay?[ Groans ]
138
00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:38,243
Martinez, call --
Call 9-- Call 911.
139
00:04:38,241 --> 00:04:39,621
-Ooh. He's bleeding.
-Mnh-mnh! Mnh-mnh! Mnh-mnh!
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00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:40,970
Okay, I'm gonna
call 911.
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00:04:40,965 --> 00:04:42,895
[ Clears throat ]I'm gonna call...uh...
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00:04:42,896 --> 00:04:44,686
Oh, my God.
Did you get that 9-1-1?
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00:04:44,689 --> 00:04:45,969
-I'm rich!
-Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:48,275
Sit down. Sit down,
everybody. Sit down.
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00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:49,445
I'm rich!
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00:04:49,448 --> 00:04:51,928
My Litcoin
just blew up, girl.
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00:04:51,931 --> 00:04:55,451
My Litcoin just blew up!
I'm rich and I quit!
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00:04:55,448 --> 00:04:57,168
I quit, girl!
149
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,032
Culpepper, I quit!
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00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:00,934
Okay, I think, uh,
y'all can go now.
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00:05:00,931 --> 00:05:02,451
Okay, and I think it's
best you don't say nothin'
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00:05:02,448 --> 00:05:04,718
about what you saw here.
Because y'all ain't no snitches!
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00:05:04,724 --> 00:05:07,974
[ All cheering ]
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00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:09,275
Simon: I can't look!
I can't look!
155
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:10,685
Just tell me, just tell me,
just tell me!
156
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,099
Dude...
157
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,453
Let's just say you almost
have almost $7,000, man!
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00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,998
[ Indistinct shouting ]
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00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,930
I'm gonna take a weekend trip
to Milwaukee! Ha-ha!
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00:05:20,931 --> 00:05:23,761
Wisconsin, here I come!
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00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,718
Good news, kids.
Y'all are all going to college.
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00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:27,694
I'm looking at three
future college students,
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00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:29,139
one of which needs braces
and will probably
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00:05:29,137 --> 00:05:30,997
go to a junior college
for two years first.
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00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000
But y'all are all going.
Daddy love ya.
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00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,030
You know, it reminds me
of a poem.
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00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:39,344
So what's the plan?
We gonna buy us some Litcoin?
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00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:44,764
Mnh-mnh. We're gonna
kidnap the white dude.
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00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:48,138
Everything Litcoin
runs through you, Jerry.
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00:05:48,137 --> 00:05:51,447
We need you to set up
a Litcoin mine in this house.
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00:05:51,448 --> 00:05:53,028
Only you can do it.
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00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:54,144
Yeah.
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00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:57,547
I see you equivocating,
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00:05:57,551 --> 00:06:00,591
but what you don't understand
is, the sooner you start,
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00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:03,306
the sooner we can take your ass
back to Roscoe Village.
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00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:06,660
You understand me?
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00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:07,965
How you feel
about that, Bluto?
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00:06:07,965 --> 00:06:09,685
It was cool,
it was cool.
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00:06:09,689 --> 00:06:11,899
Just don't -- don't
force the anger, man.
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00:06:11,896 --> 00:06:14,306
Let the words
do the work.
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00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:16,660
I like that.
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00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:18,135
[ Inhales sharply ]
183
00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:19,137
You ready?
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00:06:19,137 --> 00:06:20,377
Yeah.
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00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,279
Bring him in.
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00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:22,615
[ Sniffs, clears throat ]
187
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:24,590
Okay, I get it.
188
00:06:24,586 --> 00:06:27,206
Kidnap the crypto CEO, right?
189
00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:28,546
Okay, but look.
190
00:06:28,551 --> 00:06:30,031
Things you don't -- Ay![ Handcuffs click ]
191
00:06:30,034 --> 00:06:32,934
You picked the worst week
to do it, okay?
192
00:06:32,931 --> 00:06:34,211
How about we come back
in a month?
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00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:35,136
Hell, I'll come to you.
194
00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:36,407
We can figure this all out.
195
00:06:36,413 --> 00:06:38,283
Shh.
196
00:06:38,275 --> 00:06:40,405
A dollar is a promise.
197
00:06:40,413 --> 00:06:41,863
Your words.
198
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:44,622
I said that?
That's pretty good.
199
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:47,860
Bars, right?
Isn't that a thing?
200
00:06:47,862 --> 00:06:50,242
Shouldn't I get a telescope
with my new Litcoin money?
201
00:06:50,241 --> 00:06:53,661
Comet 67P is coming and it
only comes every 60 years.
202
00:06:53,655 --> 00:06:54,825
[ Grumbles ]
203
00:06:54,827 --> 00:06:56,617
You'll see the next one.
204
00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:58,140
Keep your money
with me and Spike.
205
00:06:58,137 --> 00:06:59,757
You'll be able to buy
15 telescopes.
206
00:06:59,758 --> 00:07:01,518
-Nephew!
-What up, Spike?
207
00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:04,617
I almost doubted you when you
told me to invest in Litcoin.
208
00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:05,930
[ Chuckles ]
I'm glad you listened.
209
00:07:05,931 --> 00:07:07,761
'Cause I see the skeezes
you be dating,
210
00:07:07,758 --> 00:07:09,238
and I thought you got
syphilis
211
00:07:09,241 --> 00:07:10,971
and the virus finally
went to your brain, but...
212
00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:12,545
I'm glad I took
your advice.
213
00:07:12,551 --> 00:07:14,621
You was right.Yeah, I was right.
I appreciate that.
214
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:16,100
Well, what's the next idea?
Come on.
215
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,283
You know, my best idea
is being able to judge
216
00:07:18,275 --> 00:07:19,335
other people's ideas.
217
00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:20,664
So you know what that means.
218
00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:21,855
We're about to be
venture capitalists.
219
00:07:21,862 --> 00:07:23,312
-Ooh.
-On the South Side.
220
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,280
-Adventure capitalists.
-Venture capitalists.
221
00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,515
My way is better. 'Cause
we're taking people's
money on an adventure.
222
00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:28,657
[ Snaps fingers ]
223
00:07:28,655 --> 00:07:29,585
Come on, man.
I'm always right.
224
00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:30,516
Come on!
225
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,687
Welcome to Spike Tank.
226
00:07:31,689 --> 00:07:35,279
Simon and Spike's
Tank of Sharks.
227
00:07:35,275 --> 00:07:36,685
And K.
228
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:39,859
I present to you extendable
shoes for children.
229
00:07:39,862 --> 00:07:41,382
They new grow out of style.
230
00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:42,829
Big Ass Showerhead.
231
00:07:42,827 --> 00:07:44,517
Liquid condoms.
232
00:07:44,517 --> 00:07:49,167
First you dip it,
233
00:07:49,172 --> 00:07:51,142
then you dip it.
234
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,097
Basics. Cocaine.
235
00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:56,723
We buy 10 keys
of pure Columbian.
236
00:07:56,724 --> 00:07:57,664
I'm listening.
237
00:07:57,655 --> 00:07:58,825
You can't be serious.
238
00:07:58,827 --> 00:07:59,897
So it's basically
239
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,406
a new gym called
Slow Motion.
240
00:08:02,413 --> 00:08:07,973
Where everybody got to work out
as if they is in slow motion.
241
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:10,165
We're gonna sell
a million raffle tickets.
242
00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:12,212
But ain't nobody
gonna win that raffle.
243
00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:13,616
You know what
I'm talkin' about!
244
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,070
[ Laughs ]
245
00:08:15,068 --> 00:08:16,378
All right, brothers.
I'll see myself out.
246
00:08:16,379 --> 00:08:18,309
Just give me a ring
when you're ready. Okay.
247
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:19,760
I have an idea.
248
00:08:19,758 --> 00:08:21,338
The baby shake.
249
00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:24,214
Barry, shaking babies
leads to brain damage.
250
00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:26,719
[ Slurping ]
251
00:08:26,724 --> 00:08:28,074
All: Ohh!
252
00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:29,278
Okay.
253
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:30,615
First of all,
let me start off saying that,
254
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,140
congratulations
on all your success.
255
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,687
I mean, good thing you
didn't listen
256
00:08:33,689 --> 00:08:34,969
to dear old Bishop,
you know?
257
00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:37,135
'Cause I was dead wrong.
[ Chuckles ]
258
00:08:37,137 --> 00:08:39,137
'Cause you're doin' well.
Let's cut to the chase.
259
00:08:39,137 --> 00:08:41,927
Now, how do you think
Edgerin here got his waves?
260
00:08:41,931 --> 00:08:44,691
Easy. Wash his hair.
Then apply Dax or Murray's.
261
00:08:44,689 --> 00:08:46,029
Then brush and brush for hours.
262
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:48,104
Put a do-rag on for the night.
Et voilà!
263
00:08:48,103 --> 00:08:49,933
Simple two-day process.
264
00:08:49,931 --> 00:08:52,341
Now, see, that's the old way
of doing things.
265
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:56,724
I'm about to show you guys
a new way of doing things.
266
00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:58,594
I present to you...
267
00:08:58,586 --> 00:09:00,306
Brush Free Waves.
268
00:09:00,310 --> 00:09:02,690
No brush. No do-rag.
269
00:09:02,689 --> 00:09:03,899
Pure Poseidon.
270
00:09:03,896 --> 00:09:05,996
Wow! Oh, my...
271
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,660
[ Hushed voice ]
Come here for a second.
272
00:09:07,655 --> 00:09:11,895
That's right.
Talk about it.
273
00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:13,306
Let's deal a make --
274
00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:14,520
I mean, make a deal.
275
00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:15,967
You also got to pay
these guys, too.
276
00:09:15,965 --> 00:09:17,895
'Cause they're not
working for free.
277
00:09:17,896 --> 00:09:19,756
[ Controllers clicking ]
278
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:21,068
Voltron!
279
00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:23,138
You know, it's kinda nice
to take a break
280
00:09:23,137 --> 00:09:25,897
from Litcoin hype train
for a while.
281
00:09:25,896 --> 00:09:27,066
You ever say the same word
so much
282
00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:28,658
it starts sounding
stupid to you?
283
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,095
Like money.
Money, money.
284
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,663
Money ain't shit but
a damn delusion anyway.
285
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,685
No, man,
money does important work.
286
00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:36,169
Money is a machine.
287
00:09:36,172 --> 00:09:39,522
It transports the value
of your labor into the future.
288
00:09:39,517 --> 00:09:43,717
[ Crowd cheering ]
289
00:09:43,724 --> 00:09:46,244
Brother, you smart as hell
sometimes.
290
00:09:46,241 --> 00:09:48,721
I don't think I really
tell you that enough.
291
00:09:48,724 --> 00:09:51,624
[ Clears throat ]
292
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:54,210
Hmm.
293
00:09:54,206 --> 00:09:56,616
[ Clears throat ]
294
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:58,660
[ Sighs, sniffles ]
295
00:09:58,655 --> 00:10:00,025
And you're losing weight.
296
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:02,384
Mnh!
[ Clears throat ]
297
00:10:02,379 --> 00:10:06,479
♪♪
298
00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:10,412
♪♪
299
00:10:10,413 --> 00:10:12,143
And you know what really
punches my ticket
300
00:10:12,137 --> 00:10:14,617
is that she took my Pyrex.
I know that she did.
301
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:17,070
Because I recognize it 'cause
I put a little "X" on the bottom
302
00:10:17,068 --> 00:10:18,068
so that no one
would get it.
303
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:18,928
Goodnight:
Mnh. Mm-hmm.
304
00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:20,211
-Sandy...
-Hm?
305
00:10:20,206 --> 00:10:22,206
...are you listening
to your police scanner?
306
00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:23,446
[ Smacks lips ]
307
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,658
I am.
308
00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:27,475
As much as I love
my down time...
309
00:10:27,482 --> 00:10:29,792
And I like my down time
like the next man,
310
00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,663
but, you know,
this is hard to admit.
311
00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:32,715
[ Chuckles ]
312
00:10:32,724 --> 00:10:35,074
I miss it down here.
313
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,928
I actually miss the South Side.
314
00:10:37,931 --> 00:10:39,311
A-Am I under arrest?
315
00:10:39,310 --> 00:10:41,590
No, no, no, no. We're just...
[ Chuckles ]
316
00:10:41,586 --> 00:10:43,336
We're just getting to know
each other, you know?
317
00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:44,694
Okay.
318
00:10:44,689 --> 00:10:46,899
Simon: How did y'all come up
with this recipe anyway?
319
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:47,926
Well, it came to me in a dream.
320
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:49,141
Matter of fact, my grandmother
321
00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:50,277
came and told me about it,
right?
322
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,305
I think she was giving me
323
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,660
a baked-chicken recipe,
324
00:10:52,655 --> 00:10:54,095
but I didn't hear what
she was really saying,
325
00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:55,413
so I ended up making
a hair product out of it.
326
00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:57,453
Anyway, she gave me
this recipe, right?
327
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,548
And let me tell you what it is.
328
00:10:58,551 --> 00:11:00,031
It's hot-dog water,
right,
329
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:03,454
MemoryGel, lemon zest,
and bone marrow.
330
00:11:03,448 --> 00:11:06,138
But this is
the most important one.
331
00:11:06,137 --> 00:11:08,377
You see this?
This is our secret weapon.
332
00:11:08,379 --> 00:11:09,589
This Might Help!
333
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,926
-[ Laughs ]
-Wait a minute.
334
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,761
Isn't this the stuff
they use in the commercials
335
00:11:12,758 --> 00:11:14,138
where the old men
date models?
336
00:11:14,137 --> 00:11:15,857
Not only do they date them,
they marry them.
337
00:11:15,862 --> 00:11:17,342
[ Laughs ]
338
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,344
You know what I mean?
But the only problem is...
339
00:11:19,344 --> 00:11:20,974
[ Sighs ]
It's so expensive, man.
340
00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:22,235
This is the one thing
341
00:11:22,241 --> 00:11:23,591
bottlenecking
the whole production.
342
00:11:23,586 --> 00:11:24,476
Yeah, that's
the beautiful thing
343
00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:25,762
about having partners.
344
00:11:25,758 --> 00:11:27,098
'Cause this might help.
345
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,383
-Mm-hmm.
-[ Chuckles ]
346
00:11:28,379 --> 00:11:30,549
-Yeah.
-So there you have it, y'all.
347
00:11:30,551 --> 00:11:32,761
Travy Trav Listening Party.
348
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,208
What you think about that,
Chase?
349
00:11:34,206 --> 00:11:35,586
[ Chuckles ]
That's another hit!
350
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:37,756
Kra-ta-ta! Ha!
351
00:11:37,758 --> 00:11:39,338
See, the world is changing,
y'all --
352
00:11:39,344 --> 00:11:42,694
the way we handle business,
the way we use money,
353
00:11:42,689 --> 00:11:44,719
and the way we make waves.
354
00:11:44,724 --> 00:11:46,934
Let 'em see it, y'all.
355
00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:48,901
See my boys here?
356
00:11:48,896 --> 00:11:50,686
They use Brush Free Waves.
357
00:11:50,689 --> 00:11:52,139
Brush is not included.
358
00:11:52,137 --> 00:11:54,407
Uh...
there's a huge problem.
359
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:55,693
[ Computer beeps ]
360
00:11:55,689 --> 00:11:58,859
50% of our hash power
just fell off the network.
361
00:11:58,862 --> 00:12:01,102
Uh, transactions are
completely stuck,
362
00:12:01,103 --> 00:12:03,033
and we're only validating
like two blocks an hour.
363
00:12:03,034 --> 00:12:06,144
Well, can you make
the blocks larger?
364
00:12:06,137 --> 00:12:08,137
To be honest,
that's all I really did.
365
00:12:08,137 --> 00:12:10,277
You know, the rest is just
copied straight from Bitcoin.
366
00:12:10,275 --> 00:12:13,165
Look, guys.
This has been super fun.
367
00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:15,452
And, Mark, I am gonna try
that climbing gym.
368
00:12:15,448 --> 00:12:17,378
But I need to get back
to my company basically,
369
00:12:17,379 --> 00:12:18,689
like, right now.
370
00:12:18,689 --> 00:12:20,449
I know we share similar
fiscal ideologies,
371
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:24,338
but I will still
break your damn hands.
372
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,524
Anything you need to fix,
you're gonna fix in this house.
373
00:12:26,517 --> 00:12:29,097
You understand me...dawg?
374
00:12:29,103 --> 00:12:31,623
Yeah.
375
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,100
Okay.
376
00:12:33,103 --> 00:12:35,213
I need you to type
exactly what I say.
377
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:39,026
"$Litcoin-CLI
get network info."
378
00:12:39,034 --> 00:12:40,384
-It's gone.
-What's gone?
379
00:12:40,379 --> 00:12:42,899
BrushFreeWaves.com.
Somebody poached it.
380
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,166
I'm about to lose my shit!
381
00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:45,482
God damn it!
382
00:12:45,482 --> 00:12:46,792
We got too big too fast!
383
00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:49,593
I pr-- I prophesized this.
384
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:51,136
It's those damn
domain squatters, man.
385
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:52,657
Just sitting there waiting.
386
00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:54,375
Waiting till something hits,
and then they take it.
387
00:12:54,379 --> 00:12:55,379
Damn squatters!
388
00:12:55,379 --> 00:12:56,759
Hey, guys. Calm down.
389
00:12:56,758 --> 00:12:58,138
Those are champagne problems.
390
00:12:58,137 --> 00:12:59,517
You're not used to that
because you're not used to
391
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,927
this level of success.
It's gonna happen.
392
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:02,931
What other names
did they have?
393
00:13:02,931 --> 00:13:05,101
Um...
394
00:13:05,103 --> 00:13:06,763
What about...
395
00:13:06,758 --> 00:13:11,658
Brush-underscore-FreeWayvez --
with a "Y" and a "Z" -- dot-com.
396
00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:13,165
-Mm.
-Man, what the...
397
00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:14,522
Nobody wants to use that.
398
00:13:14,517 --> 00:13:15,827
Okay, man.
All right, all right.
399
00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:17,237
Okay, what about um...
400
00:13:17,241 --> 00:13:22,171
B-BrushHairCareChi.net?
401
00:13:22,172 --> 00:13:23,662
-Hm.
-That's actually not that bad.
402
00:13:23,655 --> 00:13:24,895
It makes you feel,
don't it?
403
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,406
You know, cold-weather season
is coming up.
404
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,173
We could talk about
all the new gloves, boots.
405
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:31,592
Why do we have to reinvent
the wheel?
406
00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:33,136
This is Chicago. Can't we
just do another shooting?
407
00:13:33,137 --> 00:13:34,547
I got something, guys.
408
00:13:34,551 --> 00:13:36,311
My nephew claims that
all the boys in school
409
00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:38,310
have a new way to get waves
in their head
410
00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:40,520
without brushes or
do-rags.
411
00:13:40,517 --> 00:13:41,717
Woman: Mm, I like it.
412
00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:43,454
That is what local news
is made of.
413
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,138
Well, we're here to talk about
Brush-Free Waves.
414
00:13:46,137 --> 00:13:48,787
Your original formula
is really taking off.
415
00:13:48,793 --> 00:13:50,383
Thank you, Lauren.
416
00:13:50,379 --> 00:13:53,069
And on behalf of all of
our Brush Free Wave customers,
417
00:13:53,068 --> 00:13:55,968
and ourself,
thank you again.
418
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:57,375
Yeah, th--
thank you, Lauren.
419
00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:00,279
And to everybody out there,
um...I'm Bishop.
420
00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:02,755
And I was the one that
created and invented
421
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,138
and had this idea.
422
00:14:04,137 --> 00:14:06,137
And I deserve all the credit
honestly. [Laughs]
423
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:09,237
Well, no good invention
goes anywhere
424
00:14:09,241 --> 00:14:11,031
without the proper
venture capitalists
425
00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:12,864
like myself behind it.
426
00:14:12,862 --> 00:14:15,522
And many investors,
some of us who gave up
427
00:14:15,517 --> 00:14:17,787
a chance of a lifetime
to see a comet.
428
00:14:17,793 --> 00:14:20,143
Ha!
We all made sacrifices.
429
00:14:20,137 --> 00:14:21,787
But the truth is,
we are a small,
430
00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:23,383
black business
doing our best.
431
00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:25,139
And we're excited
about the future.
432
00:14:25,137 --> 00:14:27,137
And what about the bats?
433
00:14:27,137 --> 00:14:28,587
Bats?
434
00:14:28,586 --> 00:14:31,826
Our scientists have found
your product attracts bats.
435
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:35,657
This is the hottest club
in Chicago.
436
00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:36,615
[ Bats screeching ]
437
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:39,170
[ Screaming ]
438
00:14:39,172 --> 00:14:41,242
Lauren: So I'm joined by
chemist Dr. Claribel Nimh.
439
00:14:41,241 --> 00:14:43,211
So, Doctor,
what did you find?
440
00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:45,446
Well, the problem is that
This Might Help
441
00:14:45,448 --> 00:14:46,758
doesn't help at all.
442
00:14:46,758 --> 00:14:48,338
It contains PPD,
443
00:14:48,344 --> 00:14:49,934
which when combined
with bone marrow,
444
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,311
acts as an accelerant.
445
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:53,720
Now, that is what's causing
the novel wave effect
446
00:14:53,724 --> 00:14:55,104
in the proteins of the hair,
447
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:58,833
but it also is completely
irresistible to bats.
448
00:14:58,827 --> 00:15:00,687
So how do you respond
to that?
449
00:15:00,689 --> 00:15:02,589
You asshole. You don't
know nothin', nerd.
450
00:15:02,586 --> 00:15:05,756
This is hair stuff,
and not scientist stuff, and...
451
00:15:05,758 --> 00:15:08,408
Well, he invented it, and he
is ultimately responsible.
452
00:15:08,413 --> 00:15:11,413
This seems likely to generate
a lot of lawsuits.
453
00:15:11,413 --> 00:15:13,283
I'm getting --
I can't do --
454
00:15:13,275 --> 00:15:15,925
Chicago, first of all,
we'd like to apologize.
455
00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:17,591
And as the CEO
of this organization,
456
00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,066
I want to get in front of it
and let you know --
457
00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:20,688
Sorry, guys.
We got to cut you off.
458
00:15:20,689 --> 00:15:23,999
We have breaking news.
Mayhem on the South Side.
459
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,620
Litcoin founder
Jerry Scottadalehauser
460
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:27,900
has been kidnapped,
461
00:15:27,896 --> 00:15:29,376
and is currently
being held hostage
462
00:15:29,379 --> 00:15:30,759
in the Englewood neighborhood.
463
00:15:30,758 --> 00:15:32,828
Word of the kidnapping
is already spreading
464
00:15:32,827 --> 00:15:34,967
on social media,
and the price of Litcoin
465
00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:36,825
is falling as we speak.
466
00:15:36,827 --> 00:15:38,477
[ Indistinct shouting ]
467
00:15:38,482 --> 00:15:40,032
Hurry up!
468
00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:41,344
I need to buy this boom box
469
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:44,594
before my Litcoins
ain't worth shitcoin!
470
00:15:44,586 --> 00:15:50,376
Girl, it feels so good to just
have a nice, easy day for once.
471
00:15:50,379 --> 00:15:52,069
Mariah?
472
00:15:52,068 --> 00:15:53,588
Mariah.
473
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,516
What?
474
00:15:54,517 --> 00:15:55,857
Damn. Can't you listen?
475
00:15:55,862 --> 00:15:57,522
It's easy for us at least.
476
00:15:57,517 --> 00:15:58,657
What you mean?
477
00:15:58,655 --> 00:16:00,715
Girl, you haven't heard?No, I'm late.
478
00:16:00,724 --> 00:16:04,034
Come on, what happened?There's a hostage situation
on 66th and Sangamon.
479
00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:05,764
Hell no.
On 66th and Sangamon?
480
00:16:05,758 --> 00:16:09,098
No lie. And I heard they
might even call out SWAT.
481
00:16:09,103 --> 00:16:10,383
Ooh!
We should go in here.
482
00:16:10,379 --> 00:16:13,519
All right,
I'ma catch you later.
483
00:16:13,517 --> 00:16:15,377
Shit. Um, okay.
484
00:16:15,379 --> 00:16:16,969
-He used us.
-Are you serious?
485
00:16:16,965 --> 00:16:19,095
He basically dictated an SOS.
486
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,413
Pretty smart actually.
487
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,793
Just like the white man --
488
00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,863
trying to stifle
my financial independence.
489
00:16:23,862 --> 00:16:25,142
Dude, you kidnapped me.
490
00:16:25,137 --> 00:16:26,477
Okay, well, look like
you done
491
00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:28,102
outsmarted yourself
this time, dumbass.
492
00:16:28,103 --> 00:16:29,693
Because Litcoin
is taking a major dump.
493
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,969
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
494
00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:33,685
CEO-based crypto...
495
00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:36,379
If you're in trouble,
the coin's in trouble.
496
00:16:36,379 --> 00:16:39,859
We're going back to plan A.
Ransom. $100,000.
497
00:16:39,862 --> 00:16:40,792
Let's roll!
498
00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:42,763
[ Sirens wailing ]
499
00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:43,788
[ Tires screech, radio chatter ]
500
00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:44,973
Damn.
501
00:16:44,965 --> 00:16:48,405
[ Siren chirping ]
502
00:16:48,413 --> 00:16:51,173
Turner, put up perimeter down
the block, over there.
503
00:16:51,172 --> 00:16:52,932
Um, I was thinking I would
just stay over here.
504
00:16:52,931 --> 00:16:54,001
Now.
505
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,900
Okay. Fine.
506
00:16:57,896 --> 00:17:00,756
Hey, hey, somebody give me
a cigarette, will you?
507
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:03,408
I don't know where my badge is.
Do you -- Okay.
508
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:10,073
I don't have a gun.
I don't have a...
509
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:12,278
[ Whispering ] So you kidnapped
some rich white dude?
510
00:17:12,275 --> 00:17:13,755
Now, this is me just
trying to curate
511
00:17:13,758 --> 00:17:15,618
a legitimate income
for myself, Turner.
512
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,280
I thought you out of all people
would be pleased with that.
513
00:17:17,275 --> 00:17:19,335
No. If you get shot today,
I won't be pleased, okay?
514
00:17:19,344 --> 00:17:21,524
Well, yeah. I'm surrounded
by cops right damn now,
515
00:17:21,517 --> 00:17:24,207
so I don't got time
for this drama.
516
00:17:24,206 --> 00:17:30,616
I'm the drama.
Right. Okay.
517
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:31,900
What are you doing here?
518
00:17:31,896 --> 00:17:35,066
Hello. Hey.
This is where the action is.
519
00:17:35,068 --> 00:17:37,138
Josh says "hi"
by the way.
520
00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:41,547
[ Indistinct conversations ]
521
00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:43,861
Come on, come on.
Hey, get low.
522
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:45,282
Going to get
your man, huh?
523
00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:47,855
Yep, I knew that wasn't
gonna last forever.
524
00:17:47,862 --> 00:17:50,142
Well, you know, we all make
bad decisions in life.
525
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,547
I mean, look at me.
The doctor told me,
526
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:53,281
hey man, you need to take
a couple days off.
527
00:17:53,275 --> 00:17:55,065
I was like, "No. Do you want
me to take some days off,
528
00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:56,308
or do you want
safe streets?"
529
00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:59,450
And he didn't have
an answer, so...
530
00:17:59,448 --> 00:18:01,968
So here I am,
doing my part.
531
00:18:01,965 --> 00:18:03,755
Kind of been in these streets
as long as I have,
532
00:18:03,758 --> 00:18:05,448
you realize it's about
fire and ice.
533
00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:07,238
You can't just put
two things together.
534
00:18:07,241 --> 00:18:10,341
It's like chopsticks
and cereal.
535
00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:12,664
It's time for the good guys
to get some action.
536
00:18:12,655 --> 00:18:14,135
That's what
I'm talkin' about.
537
00:18:14,137 --> 00:18:17,967
Wizbowski. Culpepper.
Bootsy.
538
00:18:17,965 --> 00:18:19,095
♪♪
539
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:21,033
Is Martinez going
to his house?
540
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:24,724
Oh, shit.
Turner!
541
00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:27,764
Turner!
542
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:31,688
♪♪
543
00:18:31,689 --> 00:18:35,659
♪♪
544
00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:37,135
No. No way, no way.
545
00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:38,517
Whoo!
546
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:44,447
-Oh!
-Dumbass, out the way!
547
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:47,028
Jerry: Dude got over
the razor wire?
548
00:18:47,034 --> 00:18:50,694
Hey, playboy.
549
00:18:50,689 --> 00:18:52,589
I'm sorry, this might be
out of my purview,
550
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:54,856
but aren't you a cop?
Shouldn't you, like,
shoot him or something?
551
00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:55,762
She ain't like that.
552
00:18:55,758 --> 00:18:56,968
Bluto: They have a thing.
553
00:18:56,965 --> 00:18:58,275
For real, that's hot.
554
00:18:58,275 --> 00:19:00,475
I'm gonna miss you, officer.
555
00:19:00,482 --> 00:19:02,212
Stay friendly for me.
556
00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:03,896
I will do my best.
557
00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:05,716
This guy kidnapped me.
How many people do I
have to tell before --
558
00:19:05,724 --> 00:19:08,074
But if it's all
a big misunderstanding,
559
00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:09,898
Litcoin comes back to life.
560
00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:11,066
Turner!
561
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:13,138
God. Turner! Freeze! Police!
562
00:19:13,137 --> 00:19:15,277
Can't you -- [ Screaming ]
563
00:19:15,275 --> 00:19:16,305
[ Groaning ]
564
00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:18,520
Oh, no!
565
00:19:18,517 --> 00:19:20,717
Oh, come on.
566
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:21,974
Ah! Okay.
567
00:19:21,965 --> 00:19:25,405
[ Screams ]
568
00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:26,833
What the fuck?!
569
00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:28,237
Aah! Turner!
570
00:19:28,241 --> 00:19:30,901
Come here!
571
00:19:30,896 --> 00:19:32,306
Ahh, fuck.
572
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:34,970
Turner! Come here.
573
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,375
[ Groans ]
574
00:19:37,379 --> 00:19:39,859
[ Whimpers ]
Fuck the South Side.
575
00:19:39,862 --> 00:19:41,972
[ Smacks lips ]
576
00:19:41,965 --> 00:19:44,165
♪♪
577
00:19:44,172 --> 00:19:46,692
I'm gonna miss you
most of all, Bluto.
578
00:19:46,689 --> 00:19:51,209
♪♪
579
00:19:51,206 --> 00:19:53,236
You're the captain now.
580
00:19:53,241 --> 00:19:55,031
I still have
so many questions.
581
00:19:55,034 --> 00:19:58,284
[ Car horn beeps ]
582
00:19:58,275 --> 00:20:01,715
You're ready.
583
00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:04,214
Wait!
584
00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:09,236
Just one more flex?
585
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:10,661
[ Sighs ]
586
00:20:10,655 --> 00:20:11,895
Thank you.
587
00:20:11,896 --> 00:20:13,516
Man, I wish I had bought
that telescope.
588
00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:16,587
Comet 67P is passing us
right now.
589
00:20:16,586 --> 00:20:18,896
Yeah, you can still see it.
590
00:20:18,896 --> 00:20:19,786
What?
591
00:20:19,793 --> 00:20:21,173
[ Chuckles ]
592
00:20:21,172 --> 00:20:23,692
My Litcoin was only worth
65 bucks, but, uh,
593
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,999
I found a real good
use for it.
594
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,100
Oh, my God. No...
595
00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:29,453
No, you didn't.
596
00:20:29,448 --> 00:20:32,338
It's Comet 67P, in Chicago.
597
00:20:32,344 --> 00:20:34,104
I told you he'd recognize it
on sight.
598
00:20:34,103 --> 00:20:35,793
2.5 miles wide.
599
00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:38,833
Hurtling through space
at 84,000 miles per hour.
600
00:20:38,827 --> 00:20:40,717
Nothing can stop it.
601
00:20:40,724 --> 00:20:42,524
It reminds me of me.
602
00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:44,617
It makes me feel small.
603
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:47,590
It makes me want to
visit the universe.
604
00:20:47,586 --> 00:20:50,166
♪ That's why I will, I will ♪
605
00:20:50,172 --> 00:20:54,212
♪ Praise his name ♪
606
00:20:54,206 --> 00:20:56,446
♪ Every time I get a chance
I will ♪
607
00:20:56,448 --> 00:21:00,898
♪ Praise his name ♪
608
00:21:00,896 --> 00:21:02,306
♪ Mmm, mmm ♪
609
00:21:02,310 --> 00:21:08,310
♪ Praise his holy name ♪
610
00:21:08,862 --> 00:21:11,902
♪ I-I-I was born
on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
611
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,856
♪ I was raised
on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
612
00:21:13,862 --> 00:21:15,692
♪ Good days on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
613
00:21:15,689 --> 00:21:17,659
♪ Got paid on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
614
00:21:17,655 --> 00:21:19,545
♪ Went to church
on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
615
00:21:19,551 --> 00:21:21,411
♪ Went to work
on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
616
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:23,213
♪ Whole family
from the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
617
00:21:23,206 --> 00:21:25,966
♪ Couldn't wait to go outside
on the South Side ♪
618
00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:28,205
♪ South Side! ♪♪ South Side ♪
619
00:21:28,206 --> 00:21:29,856
♪ South Side! ♪♪ South Side ♪
620
00:21:29,862 --> 00:21:31,412
♪ South Side! ♪♪ South Side ♪
621
00:21:31,413 --> 00:21:33,003
♪ South Side! ♪
622
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,000
♪ I was born on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
623
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,100
♪ I was raised
on the South Side ♪♪ South Side ♪
624
00:21:37,103 --> 00:21:39,483
♪♪
44630
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