Original subtitles

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Yellin' at my mother...

K, check this out.

A-C-C-O-M-M-O-D-A-T-E.

"Accommodate."

My daughter spelled "accommodate."

Motherfuckers think they can spell "accommodate,"

but motherfuckers can't spell "accommodate."

[ Cellphone vibrates ]Oh, Spike again.

Hey, what's up, Unc?Now, listen.

Nate called me.

He said you ain't deliver his Viagra yesterday.

Yeah, my bad, Unc. We had a late night.

It was K's birthday. Fuck a birthday.

Hey!You should show a little respect, nephew.

'Cause, see, I ain't the Century Springs Man no more,

I'm a nigga with some cash.

The Century Springs Man can't get mad.

The Century Springs Man can't have a bad day.

The Century Springs Man has got to smile.

Well, fuck the Century Springs Man!

Long live Big Money Spike.

You should see this room I'm staying in right now.

Some of the finest amenities a man could ever encounter.

I mean, the walls is red, and this bed,

it feel like the Obamas slept in this mother --

He used to deliver Century Springs water downtown.

That is the hardest fucking job in the world to get money for.

That's dumb as hell.

Simon, did you mute me?!No, no, no, I'm here.

Then how come I ain't hear no background noise?

Because...

"Because..."?

For real?

Once again. Respect.

Tell Nate we'll get to him when we do our afternoon deliveries.

It's no big deal.

Good.

Damn, nigga.

Your ass is high and tight like a good pitch.

Mmm! Wash that thing off

and bring it over -- you know what?

Forget it. Just leave it dirty.

Hang up, hang up, hang up.

♪ I was born on the South Side ♪ South Side

♪ I was raised on the South Side ♪♪ South Side

♪ Everybody stick together like we in a line ♪

♪ 'Cause it ain't no side like the South Side ♪

♪ On the South Side

♪ South Side!

♪ Coffee for my hubby, his favorite morning treat ♪

Mm-hmm. ♪ And here's a lump of sugar

♪ Because he likes it sweet

What's wrong, Butterscotch?

I should still be on the North Side.

I should still be on the path to detective.

You know, I should be solving cases.

That's a lot of "shoulds."

Tone.

All I'm saying is that you will be a detective, you will, okay?

But people just have to forget about your little incident.

Are you serious right now?!

This is not your house, homeboy!

This is my house! "Homeboy"?!

Call my lawyer!You ain't got no lawyer!

Virginia! Call your Crips!

I said stop resisting! Come here!

Good God! Get down there!

That is his house! Professor, are you okay?!

-Ahh! -"Professor"?

That's his house!

People need to get over it.

Sandy, you're taking your lumps,

but you're taking them for our family, for me and for Josh.

Hmm.

How's that history report coming, champ?

Dad, what's a "porch monkey"?

It is bad. Why?

I'd love to have a monkey on our porch.

He's right, you know.

It doesn't have to be a bad thing, you know.

What? What are you saying?

♪ A funny little monkey sitting on a porch ♪

♪ Swinging on a vine, having a good, old time ♪

♪ Ahh, I got laid-off work from a job I hate ♪

♪ 'Cause it make me hurt

♪ Burned all day till my skin turned... ♪

You know, Leah's favorite player is Kyrie.

I was thinking about getting her a pair of his shoes

for regionals tonight. She's dunking on niggas,

she might as well be dressed appropriately.

Mmm, well, Kyrie can dunk, but he's more of a finesse player.

All right, all right, everybody. Settle down.

Stacy, please stop popping that gum.

Bruh, I'ma need you to either pick

that afro all the way out or pat it all the way down.

I don't wanna see it in the middle, okay?

Uh, Keisha let me get you up here, please?

I'll be right back, Pretty Eyes.

Don't go nowhere.

"Pretty Eyes"? I think I just got Me Too'd.

Me, too. What?

I'm saying, I think so, as well. Oh.

Let me get everybody's attention.

Simon, K, sorry I couldn't make it last night.

I went stepping out west

with a couple of cougars at the Foxy Kitten.

You know what I'm sayin'?You wasn't invited.

Moving along. This is Keisha.

She's gonna be joining our floor team.

[ Jay-mal claps ]Thank you, Jay-mal.

You're a real team player, brother.

Why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself to everybody?

Well, like he said, my name is Keisha.

I know y'all got some questions, so let's just get through it.

Yes, I went to Kenwood.

Yes, I know Eddy Curry.

We used to go together.

Yes, I was at his first and last game.

Yes, it was in the same year.

Yes, I used to braid his hair.

No, I do not wear my wedding ring.

Yes, I am married. Yes, I have a son.

He is an elite basketball player.

Chicago Reader listed him as "15 to Watch

Under 13, South of 22nd Street."

Yes, he is being heavily recruited.

And, yes, we want him to go to Marquette

or DePaul,

worst-case scenario, Iowa State.

Okay?

Says here in your paperwork, you have another son?

Yeah, he likes science.

If you want both end tables to match each other,

that's gonna be extra.[ Ringtone plays ]

One sec. What, boy?!

Boy: Ma, can I go to Norris house and play Fornite?

Coach Weatherby said practice was canceled.

Canceled? Um, practice is never canceled.

Excuse me. Hey, boss!

Yes, ma'am? Uh, yeah, my mama had a stroke.

I gotta go. A stroke?

Yeah, strokes are crazy.

Ooh, okay. Uh, yeah, you know what?

You should get out of here.Thanks, boss.

But if she starts feeling better

and you wanna come back, that's cool, too.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. Hey, boy!

You better meet me at the park in five minutes!

Hey, I'ma need you two underachievers

to stay on the floor today.

Okay. Wait, what? Wait.

But we got a ton of deliveries.

Y'all just gonna have to wait until tomorrow.

Keisha had a severe family emergency.

Let Stacy care for the floor. I think she ready.

No. Stacy is behind on her paperwork.

As usual.What about Greg?

Greg just started working here again.

He's fragile.

I got him doing some spackling in the back.

What about Aaron?

Aaron's doing the store's taxes.

What about J-mal?

I'm firing him in two hours.

Poor bastard. He's a dead man walking.

I know you're not gonna like this,

but Q's keeping us in the store today

and we're not gonna be able to make the drop.

You're joking? [ Scoffs ]

Who's your boss, Simon, me or that Hungry, Hungry Hippo?

I mean, Q's ass is literally our boss.

We don't have a choice.

It sounds like y'all upstairs in the Waterfall Suite.

You best not be lying to me,

'cause I'm down here in the Cupid Suite.

You know what? I'm coming upstairs, man.

We in the bathroom at work, Spike.

Damn. Calm down, Negro.

"Negro"?

Noooo.

You the Negro, Negro.

Now, I know you a member of my family and everything,

but if you play with my money,

I'ma fuck you up from every approach vector.

Spike, you g'on mess up your blood pressure acting crazy.

The fuck?

You think I'm dumb?

Anxiety does not cause long-term hypertension.

You should know that, you dumb-ass science nigga.

Shit. He's right.

I took a big swing and missed.

Hey, Spike, can we just do it tomorrow?

I mean...Tomorrow is not promised!

Time is of the essence!

I'm 52 years old.

I'm a black man!

I got 10 years, maybe.

If that.

Sell my shit tonight or it's gonna be consequences.

Deadly consequences.

Bye, bitches.

He's ex-military, right?

Yeah, uh, Gulf War.

Slight PTSD.

You think Spike would actually hurt us?

I wanna say no.

My gut says no.

But you don't quite know?

No. Not quite. Fuck.

♪♪

Hey. All right, got you a coffee.

I don't drink coffee.Well, now, why didn't you tell me

you didn't drink coffee --But the tea is hot!

So, I heard your goof-ass tried to get transferred.

Denied! You stuck with me, Boo-Boo.

And you know why.

Don't you? Don't you?

Oh, does Professor Dalton ring a bell?

Does that look like a black man or a white man to you?

See, this why you not gonna make detective,

'cause you can't detect a white man from a black man.

He looks black to me.

And why does his race matter, anyway?

Because I see a black man

going into a house on the Gold Coast.

And can't no black man afford a house on the Gold Coast.

Not true.Trust me. I tried.

And you of all people should know that,

Miss "I Do Real Estate."

Dwyane Wade got a house on the Gold Coast.

Oh, one person, okay.

Juwan Howard got a house on the Gold Coast.

Steve Harvey got three houses on the Gold Coast.

G Herbo got a house on the Gold Coast. G-who-who?

Andre Dawson got a house on the Gold Coast.

Oh, just -- all right, fine.

I guess all the Cubs have houses on the Gold Coast, huh?

Sammy Sosa got a house on the Gold Coast?

Yep. Okay.

So, all the Viagra customers are coming here now?

Every last one.

How are we supposed to -- Hey, how you doing.

Welcome to RTO.

How are we supposed to tell who's who?

Oh, we'll know.

Sent out that last message.

I think this old man wants to fuck you.

Maybe.

"Maybe"? That's your response?

Hey, man, where the drugs at?

Shh! Be cool, Old School.

Now, if you look behind you on this bunkbed --

"Bunkbed"?!

I ain't come here for no bait-and-switch.

I got a bed. I got all the beds I need.

What I don't have is a hard dick in that bed.

That's where you come in.

Man, look on the bed.

Hey, my man? Can I help you?

Oh, I have a problem with this microwave.

And what's that?

I can't make soup when I need to.

Cream soup.Okay, I got it. Stop.

The white soup, the milkiest soup.

Can't get hard. Stressed?

I do cocaine.Oh, okay. Makes sense.

Turner: Lester Holt got a place on the Gold Coast.

Goodnight: Right. Stedman,

Hosea Sanders from Channel 7.

You made your point.Ozzie Guillen.

Yep. Wait, no.

He's not black, he's just niggerish.

Um, Cheryl Burton, also from Channel 7.

Right. Um, Dusty Byfuglien.

Anyway, let me get this money.

Squirrel house, Squirrel house.

Uh, okay.

That was unsettling.

That was unsettling.

What are you hiding?

♪♪

♪♪

Aha.

Shouldn't open this, right?

Not very cold for a freezer.

[ Coughs ]

♪♪

Regular cotton, huh?

See you next time, Baldhead.

All right, Fake Bro.Wait.

Let me get one more shot.

Come on, I'm feeling lucky, come on, come on.

There you go.

All right.

Steph!

Ah, what the fuck?

That shit is rigged.[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ] Wow.

I'ma have to take that out of your next cut!

Damn it. Mm.

Mmm-mmm.

Yeah, it is regular cotton.Ugh.

Nigga, did you just taste cotton?

Now, hold on. They in here selling crack.

What?!

I know it, that's right. I know it.

I know you.

Simon James.

Yeah.

Did my homework on you.

This guy's got a rap sheet a mile long.

Unpaid child support, illegal use of fireworks,

illegal disposal of hazardous waste materials.

I do oil changes for tractor trailers.

It's one of my side hustles.I get it, Boo.

Oh, oh, "Boo"? Huh.

Well, let me tell you something.

You're not my boo.

Okay?

And I know all about you.

But do you know all about breath mints?

[ Laughs ] And he don't floss.

Okay, let's go.Whose side are you on?

Mine. Detective, come on.

Before you end up on the news again.

Got my eye on you.

Let's go.I'm coming.

♪ Needed to feel, needed the beat of my drum ♪

♪ I know me kicking a snare

Look.

[ Sighs ] That's my girl.

I like the way the K looks like a knife, slashing fools.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]Excuse me, baby.

[ Groans ] Spike.

I'm so proud of you. You g'on kill 'em.

You really can't come tonight?

No, I'm sorry, love.

I gotta do some overtime.

But don't forget, those other kids are weak as hell.

They ain't built like you.

Except for Jeremiah Jackson.

That kid ain't got no daddy. He's motivated.

But beside him, rest of 'em ain't shit.

Death to my enemies.

That's my girl.

Mom, look!

[ Sighs ]

♪ Trap City

♪ Mingle

♪ Mingle

♪ Mingle

♪ Mingle

♪ We came here to mingle

♪ Your girl just told me she was single ♪

♪ Carra-tata

My life sucks.

I have no idea how I'ma sell all this shit in one night.

Unless...

You guys wanna buy a shitload of boner pills?

What do you say, fellas?

Hard dicks for the next few months?

Man, hell, nah.

Capone boys don't need that shit.

Man, we ain't got no problem with getting hard.

'Cause we steer clear of the Illuminati

plan of population control.

Hey, that's what's up. That sounds good.

I think he's talking about porn, K.

Oh, no, that's terrible. I love porn.

Man, we don't go nowhere near that shit.

It make you lose your erection.

Think about it.

You getting all your sexual needs from a computer.

There's this professor on YouTube that I watch

and he just, like, makes me fall asleep right away

and I watch that instead of porn.

A-minor sus 4 at the 9th.

As you know, before I started focusing on music,

I had an expertise in moving product.

So, you g'on help us sell it?

No, no, no, no.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

You don't sell drugs...

you become the drug.

Sell yourself.

Aha.

Okay. I don't understand.

Just go hit up all the old folks' homes.

♪ Look, okay, I came back, stung too hard ♪

♪ I came back, stung too hard ♪

♪ Okay, I came back, stung too hard ♪

♪♪

Hey, Chief? We got a delivery for, uh --

Man, he don't care.

♪♪

♪ Da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da da-da-da

Hey, hey? Over here.

I know where they are.

Let's go catch 'em.

Come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

Come on.

♪♪

Come on, come on, we gotta get 'em.

Is he coming?

Yeah. Listen, this is important.

Come on, come on, keep up with me.

Okay, yeah, yeah, all right.

Hey, hi, Dana!

She's a sweetheart.

There's nobody in this ro--Come on, come on.

These buggers, we gotta get 'em now --

This is important. Come on.

Are you sure they're this way?

Yes, yes.

♪♪

There they are. Right there.

See 'em, see 'em?

There they are.

They steal my crackers every night.

There they are. Look, look.

Look, they're running over there now.

Simon: 75 bucks?!

Not bad. What's next?

Let me see here.

Our Sister of Peace, 45th and Island.

Let's go.

♪ Take that bullshit

♪ And turn it into good shit

♪ Take that bullshit

♪ And turn it into good shit

♪ Take that bullshit

♪ And turn it into good shit

Man: Your word is "drudgery."

"Drudgery."

D-R-U-J-E-R-Y.

Sorry, that is incorrect.

♪ Knock me down

You gotta know, these are V.A. grade.

Oh, great. Are you sure?

Yes.That's a lot of money for --

Freeze!

Let's go! Get on the ground, now!

Assume the felony position, arms behind your back!

Get 'em all the way on the ground!

You heard me, motherfucker! You can hear!

Arms behind your back! Let's go! Let's go!

What the heck is going on here?

You better not move, Plaid Pajamas.

Stay right there.

Right there. Over there!

Over there!

I hate -- stop it! I hate your sandals, don't move.

Stop. Uh-huh.

Hey, son. How you doing, man?

I've been looking for you all night, baby.

Man: It's an illegal search and seizure!

Motherfucker, stop talking to me when I'm talking to him!

I saw you buy drugs off of him, so just back up!

-Oh, really? -Back up!

You saw me?Back up, Glasses.

Which one was it, do you think?

It was that blue one, right there.

Oh, this one? Yeah.

Oh. Mm-mm-mm-mm.

[ Laughter ]

Gonna eat it right in front of my face.

You got no respect for the law, do you?

I don't, I really don't.You got me, yeah.

Okay, good.

You're a very cavalier person.Oh, thank you.

Yeah, you -- cavalier ass to the ground, motherfucker!

Get down!

All right!

Get down! Get down!Okay! Okay!

Anybody else got anything funny to --

Stop filming!

You don't have to film this!

Stop!

Back up!

Woman: What do you think you're doing?!

Back up! You brute!

Man: You're done!

Sandy, you really blew it.

Guess I'm not gonna make detective any time soon, huh?

Worse.

They're shipping you down to the South Side.

[ Bird caws ]

All right. Oh, we're good.

Hey? All right, that's it.

Nobody, uh -- nobody's getting arrested today.

We've, uh -- we've had a little mistake here,

but I think we've got it all cleared up.

Why don't you go ahead and get up for me, Simon.

You're okay. You're okay.

Now, I can see your eyes. You okay, man?

No. My knee hurts and my throat is --

Your knee is hurting? Oh, but you know what?

Here's the good news. We got a nurse right here.

Can you look at him, 'cause I think his knee is feeling...

and then goodbye.

That chump.

Keisha: No days off, boy! We out here every day on the South Side!

This is how we create winners.

Let me see some speed.

Hey, you know, LeBron is faster than that!

Mom? What?!

I converted energy from --

I don't care nothing about now science, boy!

You know what you need to do?

Get me an equation to make your brother faster!

Get on out of here!

This science bull...

You standing around like you ain't got shots to make!

Let me see you make this shot, boy!

Oh, my...

Did you just air ball in my court?

Oh, you tired? You tired?

♪ I know there's a God

♪ There's heaven all around me

♪ There's heaven all around me ♪

Hey!

I had no idea Giordano opens this early.

They do when you know how to talk that "open early"

talk with cash. [ Laughs ]

Hey, you done good.

Thanks, Unc.

And here is a token of my appreciation.

Okay, thanks.Where's my chain?

We ain't related.

Hey, got a Postmates delivery for Spike.

On the note section, it says,

"Deliver straight to the guy dressed as Leon King"?

"Lion King"!

Oh. Man...

You earned yourself a nice, little tip.

You know how to follow directions well, young man.

I'm 42.

You look good for your age, man.

Uh, do a lot of deliveries, you know.

Mm-hmm.I work at a --

I don't workout at a gym, but I work at a gym.

You know what, man? I don't wanna know

your motherfucking life story.

Kick rocks. Thank you. -Time-out.

You just had White Castle delivered to Giordano?

I don't know limits.

This is a little more than you normally used to,

but I think you can handle it.

I can't. Look, man, don't you need money?

I need it bad.

I need $15 for a field trip to Brookfield Zoo,

school supplies, shoes, socks, hats.

Video games, batteries for video game controllers.

Toothbrushes, toothpaste, emergency money

for when they lose those shoes.

But despite the fact that I need that money,

I can't do it no more.

This hustle almost got me locked up.

I didn't even get to see my baby place fourth

at the spelling bee.

Yeah, fuck the word "drudgery."

Give me my motherfucking chain back, man.

I knew you was gonna say that.

So, you cool with being the Century Springs Guy?

The Century Springs Guy gets to see his kids.

Yeah, right. Get the fuck out my sight, man.

Go on, take Honey Bear with you.

Yeah, you the color of honey.

Kick rocks, motherfucker.

So, uh, see you at Grandma's house?

Yeah, yeah. What you bringing?

Uh, I don't know, yams?

Yeah, poor man's caviar.

Well, you know what that means?

Scary Barry, until we find another Simon,

you g'on have to sell that ass.

I know. I know.

♪ I-I-I was born on the South Side ♪♪ South Side

♪ I was raised on the South Side ♪♪ South Side

♪ Good days on the South Side ♪ South Side

♪ Got paid on the South Side ♪ South Side

♪ Went to church on the South Side ♪♪ South Side

♪ Went to work on the South Side ♪♪ South Side

♪ Whole family from the South Side ♪♪ South Side

♪ Couldn't wait to go outside on the South Side ♪

-♪ South Side! -♪ South Side

-♪ South Side! -♪ South Side

-♪ South Side! -♪ South Side

♪ South Side!

♪ I was born on the South Side ♪ South Side

♪ I was raised on the South Side ♪♪ South Side