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1
00:00:02,933 --> 00:00:05,133
When are they gonna learn
that any news about China
2
00:00:05,166 --> 00:00:07,366
is an instant page-turner?
3
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,666
What's that?
4
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:10,966
It's a Wizard electronic
organizer for my dad.
5
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,633
I'm goin' to Florida
for his birthday.
6
00:00:12,666 --> 00:00:13,966
How much was it?
Two hundred.
7
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,033
But I'll tell him it's 50.
8
00:00:15,066 --> 00:00:16,333
He doesn't care about the gift,
9
00:00:16,366 --> 00:00:17,866
he gets excited about the deal.
10
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:20,133
Where are you gettin'
a Wizard for $50?
11
00:00:20,166 --> 00:00:21,700
Ah, I'll tell him I got it
on the street
12
00:00:21,733 --> 00:00:22,700
and maybe it's hot.
13
00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:24,500
That's his favorite.
14
00:00:24,533 --> 00:00:27,900
I got a message
from the Rosses at work today.
15
00:00:27,933 --> 00:00:30,000
Susan's parents?
When's the last time you talked?
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,300
Susan's parents?
When's the last time you talked?
17
00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:32,533
At the funeral, give or take.
18
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,366
You know,
deep down I always kinda felt
19
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,233
that they blamed me
for Susan's death.
20
00:00:37,266 --> 00:00:39,866
Why? Because you picked out
the poisoned envelopes?
21
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,433
That's silly.
22
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:46,000
Oh. Um...
23
00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:48,333
Darryl, these are...
24
00:00:48,366 --> 00:00:50,333
people I know.
25
00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:52,366
Jerry, George.
26
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,666
Nice meeting you.
27
00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:55,366
I gotta run, Elaine.
I'll see you later.
28
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,366
Okay.
29
00:00:58,700 --> 00:00:59,900
Still no Puddy?
30
00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:00,000
Ah, I think his
answering machine's broken,
31
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,500
Ah, I think his
answering machine's broken,
32
00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:03,666
so I just gave up.
33
00:01:04,766 --> 00:01:05,966
What do you think?
34
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,466
What, about you datin'
a black guy?
35
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,533
What's the big deal?
36
00:01:08,566 --> 00:01:09,966
What black guy?
37
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,133
Darryl.
38
00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:12,700
He's black, isn't he?
39
00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:14,800
He is?
40
00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:16,500
No, he isn't.
41
00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:17,633
Isn't he, Elaine?
42
00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:18,633
You think?
43
00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:20,200
I thought he looked Irish.
44
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:22,633
What's his last name?
Nelson.
45
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:23,800
That's not Irish.
46
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:24,866
I think he's black.
47
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:26,366
Should we be talkin'
about this?
48
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,466
I think it's okay.
49
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,300
No, it isn't.
Why not?
50
00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:30,000
Well, it would be okay
if Darryl was here.
51
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,133
Well, it would be okay
if Darryl was here.
52
00:01:32,166 --> 00:01:33,633
If he's black.
53
00:01:33,666 --> 00:01:34,633
Is he black?
54
00:01:34,666 --> 00:01:35,800
Does it matter?
55
00:01:35,833 --> 00:01:37,133
No, of course not.
56
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:38,500
I mean, I'd just like to know.
57
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:39,666
So you need to know.
58
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,200
No, I don't need to know.
59
00:01:41,233 --> 00:01:44,133
I just think
it would be nice if I knew.
60
00:01:44,166 --> 00:01:45,466
Shall I take that?
61
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:46,900
Uh, one second.
Oh, here.
62
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,266
Uh, yeah. Hang on.
63
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:53,933
Just...yeah.
64
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,733
[♪]
65
00:01:57,766 --> 00:01:59,066
GEORGE:
Uh, Mrs. Ross, it's--
66
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,333
It's George.
67
00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:01,400
Who?
68
00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:03,200
George Costanza,
69
00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:05,433
Susan's, uh...friend?
70
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,833
GEORGE:
Long time no speak.
71
00:02:09,866 --> 00:02:12,066
We're all out of lime juice.
72
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,166
Told that woman to buy more.
73
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,166
George,
the Susan Ross Foundation
74
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,966
is having an event
this weekend.
75
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,033
Ohh, I just, uh, leased
a house out in the Hamptons,
76
00:02:24,066 --> 00:02:25,324
and I have got to get out there
this weekend
77
00:02:25,324 --> 00:02:26,566
and I have got to get out there
this weekend
78
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,733
and sign the papers.
79
00:02:27,766 --> 00:02:29,500
I'm goin' back to bed.
80
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:31,533
Thank you for calling George.
81
00:02:31,566 --> 00:02:32,866
Oh, sure.
82
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:35,500
I mean, after all,
you were almost my, uh...
83
00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:37,033
Okay, I gotta go.
84
00:02:39,566 --> 00:02:41,333
House in the Hamptons.
85
00:02:41,366 --> 00:02:43,400
Well, I been lying about
my income for a few years.
86
00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:45,733
I figured I could afford
a fake house in the Hamptons.
87
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:48,466
Well.
Hey.
88
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:51,533
Well,
grab a cigar, boys.
89
00:02:51,566 --> 00:02:53,233
Yeah.
It's time to celebrate.
90
00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:54,466
Oh, what are we celebrating?
91
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,324
Uh, you remember
my coffee table book?
92
00:02:55,324 --> 00:02:56,233
Uh, you remember
my coffee table book?
93
00:02:56,266 --> 00:02:57,866
With the little legs?
94
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:00,333
That's the one.
95
00:03:00,366 --> 00:03:02,866
A big Hollywood so-and-so
optioned it
96
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,900
for a movie.
97
00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:10,966
How are they gonna make
that book into a movie?
98
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,700
Remember that photo book
on toy ray guns?
99
00:03:13,733 --> 00:03:14,700
Yeah?
100
00:03:14,733 --> 00:03:16,900
Independence Day?
101
00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:19,666
How much are they payin' you?
102
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,966
Let's just say that I don't
have to worry about working
103
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,266
for a while, a long while.
104
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:28,833
That's funny because
I haven't seen you working
105
00:03:28,866 --> 00:03:30,633
for a while,
106
00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:33,133
a long while.
107
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:35,633
And you're not going to.
Because I'm hanging it up.
108
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:39,133
Boys, I'm retiring.
109
00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:40,633
From what?
110
00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:42,133
From the grind.
111
00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:43,500
I mean, who needs it?
112
00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:46,066
I've accomplished everything
I've set out to do.
113
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,300
What's that?
114
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:51,133
Oh, I bought myself
a little retirement gift.
115
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:52,300
Gold watch.
116
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,000
Ooh!
Ooh!
117
00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,324
[WHISPERING]
Well, it's not really gold.
118
00:03:55,324 --> 00:03:55,866
[WHISPERING]
Well, it's not really gold.
119
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,966
Ohhh.
Ohhh.
120
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,466
[♪]
121
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:03,066
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]
122
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:10,500
Hey.
Hey.
123
00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:11,833
Great music.
124
00:04:11,866 --> 00:04:13,833
Oh, it's my neighbor.
125
00:04:13,866 --> 00:04:16,233
They blast that stuff
24 hours a day. I hate it.
126
00:04:17,433 --> 00:04:19,166
Yo, yo! Turn it down!
127
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,366
Oh, wow.
128
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,324
These are nice.
129
00:04:25,324 --> 00:04:25,633
These are nice.
130
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,500
Do they have any
cultural significance?
131
00:04:28,533 --> 00:04:30,833
They're...African.
132
00:04:30,866 --> 00:04:32,233
Right.
133
00:04:32,266 --> 00:04:33,900
[LAUGHS]
134
00:04:33,933 --> 00:04:35,233
African.
135
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:38,033
Well, not "Africa."
Actually, South Africa.
136
00:04:38,066 --> 00:04:40,500
South Africa.
137
00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:43,066
My family used to live there,
but we got out years ago,
138
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,233
for obvious reasons.
139
00:04:45,266 --> 00:04:46,800
You know how it is.
140
00:04:46,833 --> 00:04:49,566
Maybe.
141
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,233
You must hate
hot dogs, huh?
142
00:04:53,266 --> 00:04:54,566
Or else you, uh--
143
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,324
You really like 'em
and that's why you--
144
00:04:55,324 --> 00:04:56,366
You really like 'em
and that's why you--
145
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,433
You do this.
146
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,733
I tell ya, if I had
one of these things,
147
00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:03,833
I'd be eatin' hot dogs
all the time.
148
00:05:03,866 --> 00:05:05,833
Are you gonna buy
a hot dog or not?
149
00:05:05,866 --> 00:05:07,766
No.
150
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,000
[♪]
151
00:05:11,033 --> 00:05:12,700
[BLENDER WHIRRING]
152
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:17,166
Rise and shine, sleepyhead!
Ha, ha.
153
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,166
It's 5:30 in the morning.
154
00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:24,033
We let you sleep in.
155
00:05:24,066 --> 00:05:25,324
Well, as long as I'm up,
156
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,800
Well, as long as I'm up,
157
00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,333
Dad, I got you
a birthday present.
158
00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:31,033
Here. Happy birthday.
159
00:05:31,066 --> 00:05:32,333
Aw, Jerry.
160
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,966
I should be
buying you presents.
161
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,533
What does that mean?
162
00:05:36,566 --> 00:05:38,800
Leave your father alone.
It's his birthday.
163
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:39,966
Ooh!
164
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000
[CHUCKLES]
165
00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:42,933
It's a radar detector!
166
00:05:44,066 --> 00:05:45,366
Radar detector.
167
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,900
I've never seen you go over
20 miles an hour.
168
00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:51,900
You're like the grand marshal
of the Rose Bowl parade.
169
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,324
It's a Wizard organizer!
170
00:05:55,324 --> 00:05:55,400
It's a Wizard organizer!
171
00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:56,900
This looks like too much money.
172
00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:58,633
Nah, I got it
from a guy on the street.
173
00:05:58,666 --> 00:05:59,833
It was like 50 bucks.
174
00:05:59,866 --> 00:06:00,900
You think it's hot?
175
00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:03,333
Could be.
Attaboy!
176
00:06:03,366 --> 00:06:06,400
Helen! Jerry got me
a hot Wizard computer!
177
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:09,166
I'm right here.
178
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,633
And you can do everything
with it.
179
00:06:10,666 --> 00:06:12,833
You can get e-mail, fax.
There's a calculator.
180
00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:15,166
So I can use it in a restaurant
to figure out the tip?
181
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,500
Yeah, I guess.
182
00:06:16,533 --> 00:06:18,500
But the really cool thing
is the daily planner.
183
00:06:18,533 --> 00:06:19,966
Helen,
we can go into restaurants
184
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,166
and figure out the tips!
185
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,400
Jerry, you're getting
your father too excited.
186
00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:27,500
Hey, buddy.
187
00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:29,333
When did you get in?
188
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,700
Kramer, what are you doing here?
189
00:06:32,733 --> 00:06:35,733
I told you I was retiring.
I moved in next door.
190
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:40,500
Mr. Cornstein died,
and it's a beautiful apartment.
191
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,633
Yeah, your folks said
it was for rent,
192
00:06:42,666 --> 00:06:44,033
so I jumped on it.
193
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,700
Kramer, you can't live
down here,
194
00:06:47,733 --> 00:06:50,566
this is where people
come to die!
195
00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:54,333
Not you.
196
00:06:54,366 --> 00:06:55,324
Older people.
197
00:06:55,324 --> 00:06:56,033
Older people.
198
00:06:56,066 --> 00:06:59,066
Don't eat cookies
for breakfast!
199
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,466
I'll fix you
something.
200
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:03,000
How about a feta cheese omelet?
201
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,700
Mmm. That sounds great, Mom.
202
00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:06,833
If you feed him,
he'll never leave.
203
00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:07,833
I don't have any feta.
204
00:07:07,866 --> 00:07:10,833
How about cottage cheese
and Egg Beaters?
205
00:07:10,866 --> 00:07:13,566
I guess.
206
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,900
I don't believe this.
207
00:07:14,933 --> 00:07:17,733
I know. I know.
Don't I look more relaxed?
208
00:07:17,766 --> 00:07:20,333
[♪]
209
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,000
Wow!
210
00:07:23,033 --> 00:07:24,233
Yeah!
211
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,166
Whoo!
212
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:31,233
Whoo!
213
00:07:44,066 --> 00:07:46,000
[SIREN WAILS]
214
00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:52,200
ELAINE:
So, George,
do you have any thoughts
215
00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:54,466
on this Darryl situation?
216
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,324
Actually,
I did have a thought.
217
00:07:55,324 --> 00:07:56,033
Actually,
I did have a thought.
218
00:07:56,066 --> 00:07:57,500
Oh.
219
00:07:57,533 --> 00:08:00,100
Why don't you just ask him?
220
00:08:01,266 --> 00:08:03,366
Because if I ask him,
221
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,333
then it's like
I really want to know.
222
00:08:08,066 --> 00:08:11,033
Maybe he's, um...
223
00:08:11,566 --> 00:08:13,500
mixed.
224
00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:15,666
Is that the right word?
225
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,966
I don't think we're supposed
to be talkin' about this.
226
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,166
I'm just, uh, gonna go
to the bathroom.
227
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,366
You know what? I'm leavin'.
228
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,566
I'll just talk to Jerry
when he gets back.
229
00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:26,866
Oh!
230
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:30,000
Mrs. Ross, Mr. Ross.
231
00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:31,666
Oh, you're George's friend.
232
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,166
We saw him in the city
this weekend.
233
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,333
What happened to his place
in the Hamptons?
234
00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:38,866
The Hamptons?
235
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:40,333
[LAUGHS]
236
00:08:40,366 --> 00:08:42,500
George Costanza?
237
00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:43,500
Uh, I--
238
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:46,500
[LAUGHS]
239
00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:48,166
I don't think so.
240
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,833
[LAUGHS]
241
00:08:49,866 --> 00:08:51,700
Have a good one.
242
00:08:51,733 --> 00:08:53,700
[LAUGHING]
243
00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:57,800
Rosses.
244
00:08:57,833 --> 00:08:58,800
George.
245
00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:01,166
We were just talking about you.
246
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,400
GEORGE:
Oh.
247
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:04,833
Well, sorry I missed that,
uh, charity thing,
248
00:09:04,866 --> 00:09:08,000
but this was one of those
truly glorious Hampton weekends
249
00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:09,700
that you always
hear about.
250
00:09:09,733 --> 00:09:10,833
Really.
251
00:09:10,866 --> 00:09:12,600
Yeah, I may move out there.
252
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:17,033
I mean it. I'll do it.
253
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,800
Okay, I'll see you later.
254
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:22,233
Keep it real!
255
00:09:22,266 --> 00:09:25,324
[♪]
256
00:09:25,324 --> 00:09:25,466
[♪]
257
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:26,800
MORTY:
Another fine meal.
258
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,666
And now for my Wizard
tip calculator.
259
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:32,133
Dad, it's got lots
of other functions.
260
00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:34,966
Don't worry. I'll get
to the other functions.
261
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,100
I can't get it open.
262
00:09:38,566 --> 00:09:41,100
Yay! Jerry got it open.
263
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,333
The service was slow,
264
00:09:45,366 --> 00:09:47,800
and God forbid
they should refill the water.
265
00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:50,533
How does, uh,
12.4 percent sound?
266
00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:53,800
Well, your tip is $4
267
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,324
and 36.6666 cents.
268
00:09:55,324 --> 00:09:56,766
and 36.6666 cents.
269
00:09:57,766 --> 00:09:59,533
We'll round down.
270
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,366
Jerry, it was so nice of you
to come down here
271
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,133
on your father's birthday.
272
00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,566
You've helped take his mind
off the condo election.
273
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,866
Oh, right. You can't run
for condo president
274
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,866
because you were impeached
at the other condo.
275
00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:14,333
I was never impeached.
I resigned!
276
00:10:14,366 --> 00:10:16,833
Even so,
the press would bury him.
277
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,066
What press?
278
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:22,700
The condo newsletter.
The Boca Breeze.
279
00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:25,266
Pinko commie rag.
280
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,633
Hey, Morty,
281
00:10:28,666 --> 00:10:30,300
your boy here,
282
00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:33,400
he just got a date with
that young aquacise instructor.
283
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,466
She's 50.
284
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,400
You know
what he's got?
285
00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:40,233
He's got charisma.
That's my man.
286
00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:41,766
All right,
I'll see you guys.
Yeah.
287
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:46,000
Yeah.
288
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:51,700
Morty,
what are you lookin' at?
289
00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,466
I'll tell you
what I'm looking at.
290
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,324
The next condo board president
of Del Boca Vista,
291
00:10:55,324 --> 00:10:57,066
The next condo board president
of Del Boca Vista,
292
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,766
phase three.
293
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,900
[♪]
294
00:11:03,933 --> 00:11:07,033
DARRYL:
Elaine, thank you
for the Wizard!
295
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,300
[LAUGHS]
296
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,866
Wow, it's got
so many functions.
297
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,800
Yeah, yeah.
Forget about all that.
298
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:13,500
First thing is first.
299
00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:15,833
Warranty information.
300
00:11:15,866 --> 00:11:17,333
Name. We know that.
301
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:20,533
Uh, hobbies.
Skiing, racquetball--
302
00:11:20,566 --> 00:11:21,533
I don't do that stuff.
303
00:11:21,566 --> 00:11:22,633
It doesn't matter.
304
00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:25,324
Um...
Oh! Here's one.
305
00:11:25,324 --> 00:11:25,366
Um...
Oh! Here's one.
306
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,000
Race.
307
00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:28,833
Isn't that optional?
308
00:11:28,866 --> 00:11:31,166
It certainly should be.
309
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,366
It's nobody's damn business!
310
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,366
But they really
would like to know.
311
00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:39,733
All right. Asian.
312
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:40,733
What?
313
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,166
Just to mess with 'em.
314
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,166
[BOTH LAUGHING]
315
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,066
Oh, right.
316
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,066
Good one.
317
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,500
"Average income."
Uh...
318
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:49,800
over 100,000.
319
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,833
Really?
320
00:11:51,866 --> 00:11:52,833
Does that matter?
321
00:11:52,866 --> 00:11:54,633
No.
322
00:11:54,666 --> 00:11:55,324
But it is very nice to know.
323
00:11:55,324 --> 00:11:57,700
But it is very nice to know.
324
00:11:57,733 --> 00:11:59,566
[LAUGHS]
325
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,000
[♪]
326
00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:03,166
JERRY:
So did you figure out
327
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,866
Darryl's...
328
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:07,533
You know.
329
00:12:07,566 --> 00:12:08,866
Ah, I've given up.
330
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:11,733
So now we're going to a bunch
of Spanish restaurants.
331
00:12:11,766 --> 00:12:13,700
Figure that'll cover us
either way.
332
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,700
You're a master
of race relations.
333
00:12:17,733 --> 00:12:21,133
Hey, so Kramer's running
for president of the condo?
334
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:23,533
Yeah, it's all
my father's doing.
335
00:12:23,566 --> 00:12:25,324
[GIBBERS]
336
00:12:25,324 --> 00:12:25,633
[GIBBERS]
337
00:12:25,666 --> 00:12:27,866
He wants to install Kramer
in a puppet regime
338
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,300
and then wield power
from behind the scenes,
339
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,166
preferably from the sauna
in the clubhouse.
340
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,166
[ELAINE LAUGHS]
341
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,200
Who are they running against?
342
00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:38,200
Common sense
and a guy in a wheelchair.
343
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,200
Jerry?
344
00:12:40,233 --> 00:12:41,633
He's still down
with his folks.
345
00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:43,133
What are you doin' here?
346
00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:44,166
Elaine, Elaine--
347
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,166
I'm gettin' his mail.
348
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,300
Oh, no.
349
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,033
He asked you
to get the mail?
350
00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:49,366
Mm-hm.
351
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,333
Jerry, why is Elaine
getting your mail?
352
00:12:51,366 --> 00:12:53,066
George, listen to me.
353
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,324
I have a very important job
for you.
354
00:12:55,324 --> 00:12:55,400
I have a very important job
for you.
355
00:12:56,933 --> 00:12:58,366
I want you to come by
twice a day
356
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,633
and flush the toilet
357
00:12:59,666 --> 00:13:02,000
so the gaskets
don't dry out and leak.
358
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:04,866
What?
359
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:07,133
Well, what about the mail?
360
00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:08,866
This is far more important.
361
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:12,266
You must exercise the gaskets,
George.
362
00:13:13,733 --> 00:13:15,733
All right, Jerry.
I'll do it.
363
00:13:15,766 --> 00:13:16,733
See ya.
364
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,800
So, I ran into
the Rosses again.
365
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,466
Oh, right,
at the coffee shop.
366
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,324
Where did they get the idea
that you have a place
367
00:13:25,324 --> 00:13:25,533
Where did they get the idea
that you have a place
368
00:13:25,566 --> 00:13:27,166
in the Hamptons?
369
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:31,866
From me.
370
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:33,000
What did you say?
371
00:13:33,033 --> 00:13:36,566
I told them I have a place
in the Hamptons.
372
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,733
What did you say?
373
00:13:37,766 --> 00:13:39,366
I told them you didn't.
374
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:43,866
And I laughed,
and I laughed.
375
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:45,033
[LAUGHS]
376
00:13:46,266 --> 00:13:48,200
So they knew?
377
00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:49,800
Those liars!
378
00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:51,033
But you lied first.
379
00:13:51,066 --> 00:13:52,466
Yeah, but they let me
go on and on,
380
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,466
all about the Hamptons!
381
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,733
They never said a thing!
382
00:13:54,766 --> 00:13:55,324
You don't let somebody lie
383
00:13:55,324 --> 00:13:55,866
You don't let somebody lie
384
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,066
when you know they're lying.
385
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,166
You call them a liar!
386
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,233
Like you're a liar!
387
00:13:59,266 --> 00:14:01,400
Yes, thank you!
Was that so hard?
388
00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:04,333
So this is over?
Not over?
389
00:14:04,366 --> 00:14:05,866
I'm bettin'...not over.
390
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:08,200
Not by a long shot.
391
00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,200
I'm callin' up the Rosses
and inviting them out
392
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,166
to my nonexistent place
in the Hamptons.
393
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,833
Then we'll see
who blinks first!
394
00:14:14,866 --> 00:14:17,733
Haven't you done enough
to these people?
395
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:21,833
This is not about them.
396
00:14:21,866 --> 00:14:23,733
Now, if you'll excuse me,
397
00:14:23,766 --> 00:14:25,324
I have to exercise
Jerry's gaskets.
398
00:14:25,324 --> 00:14:25,600
I have to exercise
Jerry's gaskets.
399
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,800
[♪]
400
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:32,878
KRAMER:
Vote for Kramer.
401
00:14:32,912 --> 00:14:35,078
Cosmo Kramer,
running for condo president.
402
00:14:35,112 --> 00:14:36,612
Like your vote.
Thanks.
403
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:41,945
Remember, ma'am, a vote for me
is a vote for Kramer.
404
00:14:41,978 --> 00:14:43,745
Can you cut my meat?
405
00:14:43,778 --> 00:14:45,378
Gladly.
406
00:14:45,412 --> 00:14:47,312
[♪]
407
00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:13,478
[♪]
408
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,312
Coffee?
Sure.
409
00:15:15,345 --> 00:15:16,478
Are you black?
410
00:15:18,978 --> 00:15:20,412
Or should I bring some cream?
411
00:15:20,445 --> 00:15:22,712
I'm black. Oh, you know what?
412
00:15:22,745 --> 00:15:24,578
Bring a little cream.
413
00:15:26,112 --> 00:15:27,078
Look at that.
414
00:15:27,112 --> 00:15:28,245
Did you hear that?
415
00:15:28,278 --> 00:15:29,118
What?
416
00:15:29,118 --> 00:15:29,278
What?
417
00:15:29,312 --> 00:15:31,045
There are still people
who have trouble
418
00:15:31,078 --> 00:15:32,245
with an interracial couple.
419
00:15:33,245 --> 00:15:34,945
Interracial? Us?
420
00:15:34,978 --> 00:15:37,578
I mean, isn't--
Isn't that unbelievable?
421
00:15:37,612 --> 00:15:41,145
Yes, it's awful!
422
00:15:41,178 --> 00:15:45,312
They're upset because
we're an interracial couple?
423
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,945
Ha, that is racism!
424
00:15:47,845 --> 00:15:48,912
I don't feel like eating.
425
00:15:48,945 --> 00:15:50,045
Agh, me neither.
426
00:15:50,078 --> 00:15:53,012
Well, maybe this turkey club.
427
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,145
So,
428
00:15:55,178 --> 00:15:56,945
here I am
429
00:15:56,978 --> 00:15:59,118
ready to take you
to the Hamptons.
430
00:15:59,118 --> 00:15:59,812
ready to take you
to the Hamptons.
431
00:15:59,845 --> 00:16:01,978
Sounds grand.
432
00:16:02,012 --> 00:16:03,612
Do you have
your bathing suits?
433
00:16:03,645 --> 00:16:04,845
It's March.
434
00:16:07,478 --> 00:16:10,412
Speak now, or we are headed
to the Hamptons.
435
00:16:12,912 --> 00:16:14,812
It's a two-hour drive.
436
00:16:14,845 --> 00:16:16,245
Once you get in that car,
437
00:16:16,278 --> 00:16:19,178
we are going all the way...
438
00:16:20,178 --> 00:16:22,145
to the Hamptons.
439
00:16:25,845 --> 00:16:28,045
All right.
You want to get nuts?
440
00:16:28,078 --> 00:16:29,118
Come on.
441
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:29,645
Come on.
442
00:16:29,678 --> 00:16:31,312
Let's get nuts!
443
00:16:33,645 --> 00:16:35,078
[♪]
444
00:16:35,112 --> 00:16:36,112
JERRY:
Hey, Dad?
445
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,612
You can program
this thing to beep
446
00:16:37,645 --> 00:16:39,345
every time you need
to take a vitamin!
447
00:16:41,745 --> 00:16:43,478
Dad, you look so different.
448
00:16:45,312 --> 00:16:47,112
No, we're campaigning, Jerry.
449
00:16:47,145 --> 00:16:50,312
To rule the people,
one must walk among them.
450
00:16:50,345 --> 00:16:52,612
This is the homestretch.
Tomorrow's the election!
451
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:53,612
Right. Yeah.
452
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,478
Polls close after dinner, 3:00,
453
00:16:55,512 --> 00:16:57,312
but then when we win,
454
00:16:57,345 --> 00:16:59,118
the celebration goes all night
455
00:16:59,118 --> 00:16:59,312
the celebration goes all night
456
00:16:59,345 --> 00:17:01,378
until the break of 8 p.m.
457
00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:02,645
[LAUGHS]
458
00:17:02,678 --> 00:17:04,412
You know, you can put
that whole schedule
459
00:17:04,445 --> 00:17:05,612
right in your daily planner.
460
00:17:05,645 --> 00:17:06,912
Daily what?
461
00:17:06,945 --> 00:17:09,445
Have you read
today's Boca Breeze?
462
00:17:09,478 --> 00:17:12,878
Hey, look at that
picture of me, huh? Yeah.
463
00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:15,812
"Candidate Cosmo Kramer
caught barefoot in clubhouse."
464
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,478
What?
465
00:17:18,512 --> 00:17:19,912
Barefoot
in the clubhouse?
466
00:17:19,945 --> 00:17:22,578
Kramer, don't you realize
this is against the rules?
467
00:17:22,612 --> 00:17:25,645
Well, I couldn't find my shoes.
468
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,112
Kramer, these people work
and wait their whole lives
469
00:17:28,145 --> 00:17:29,118
to move down here,
sit in the heat,
470
00:17:29,118 --> 00:17:30,245
to move down here,
sit in the heat,
471
00:17:30,278 --> 00:17:31,578
pretend it's not hot,
472
00:17:31,612 --> 00:17:33,745
and enforce these rules.
473
00:17:33,778 --> 00:17:35,745
Who wants
hot chocolate?
474
00:17:35,778 --> 00:17:38,078
This is
a huge scandal!
475
00:17:38,112 --> 00:17:39,545
We need damage control.
476
00:17:39,578 --> 00:17:40,578
All right, look.
477
00:17:40,612 --> 00:17:42,712
People seem to like
those tip calculators.
478
00:17:42,745 --> 00:17:44,878
Wizards!
How about if we give one out
479
00:17:44,912 --> 00:17:47,245
to every member
on the condo board?
480
00:17:47,278 --> 00:17:48,778
Kramer...
481
00:17:48,812 --> 00:17:50,545
There are 20 people
on the board.
482
00:17:50,578 --> 00:17:52,912
Thank God
you can get that deal.
483
00:17:52,945 --> 00:17:55,545
Payoffs.
Now we're playin' politics!
484
00:17:55,578 --> 00:17:57,278
All right, what do we do next,
Morty, huh?
485
00:17:57,312 --> 00:17:59,118
Wire taps? Slush funds?
486
00:17:59,118 --> 00:17:59,212
Wire taps? Slush funds?
487
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,545
First I need a nap.
488
00:18:00,578 --> 00:18:03,578
Ooh, I'll get
your electric blanket.
489
00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:08,212
Kramer, I can't get
that many Wizards.
490
00:18:08,245 --> 00:18:09,212
What about your deal?
491
00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:10,378
I didn't have a deal!
492
00:18:10,412 --> 00:18:12,412
They're $200 a pop.
What do I do?
493
00:18:12,445 --> 00:18:13,912
Don't worry about it.
I know a guy.
494
00:18:13,945 --> 00:18:14,912
Down here?
Yeah,
495
00:18:14,945 --> 00:18:16,712
Bob Sacamano's father.
496
00:18:16,745 --> 00:18:18,612
[♪]
497
00:18:18,645 --> 00:18:21,945
And that leads into
the master bedroom.
498
00:18:21,978 --> 00:18:23,545
Tell us more.
499
00:18:23,578 --> 00:18:26,445
You want to hear more?
500
00:18:26,478 --> 00:18:28,978
The master bedroom opens
into the solarium--
501
00:18:29,012 --> 00:18:29,118
Another solarium?
502
00:18:29,118 --> 00:18:30,278
Another solarium?
503
00:18:30,312 --> 00:18:33,245
Yes, two solariums.
Quite a find.
504
00:18:34,445 --> 00:18:36,478
And I have horses too.
505
00:18:36,512 --> 00:18:37,745
What are their names?
506
00:18:41,678 --> 00:18:43,978
Snoopy and Prickly Pete.
507
00:18:46,245 --> 00:18:47,878
Should I keep driving?
508
00:18:47,912 --> 00:18:50,312
Oh, look, an antique stand.
509
00:18:50,345 --> 00:18:53,378
Pull over. We'll buy you
a housewarming gift.
510
00:18:53,412 --> 00:18:54,878
[CHUCKLING]
511
00:18:54,912 --> 00:18:57,245
Housewarming gift.
512
00:18:57,278 --> 00:18:59,118
All right,
we're taking it up a notch!
513
00:18:59,118 --> 00:19:00,045
All right,
we're taking it up a notch!
514
00:19:00,078 --> 00:19:02,112
[♪]
515
00:19:02,145 --> 00:19:03,612
Here you go.
516
00:19:03,645 --> 00:19:04,612
Long day?
517
00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,478
Yeah. I just worked
a triple shift.
518
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,312
I hear ya, sister.
519
00:19:08,345 --> 00:19:09,745
Sister?
520
00:19:09,778 --> 00:19:11,978
Yeah. It's okay.
My boyfriend's black.
521
00:19:12,012 --> 00:19:13,278
Here he is. See?
522
00:19:13,312 --> 00:19:15,445
Hi, Elaine.
Hey.
523
00:19:15,478 --> 00:19:16,545
He's black?
524
00:19:16,578 --> 00:19:17,478
Yeah.
525
00:19:18,945 --> 00:19:20,078
I'm black?
526
00:19:20,112 --> 00:19:21,478
Aren't you?
527
00:19:21,512 --> 00:19:24,678
I'll give you
a couple minutes to decide.
528
00:19:25,678 --> 00:19:27,145
What are you talking about?
529
00:19:27,178 --> 00:19:28,278
You're black.
530
00:19:28,312 --> 00:19:29,118
You said we were
an interracial couple.
531
00:19:29,118 --> 00:19:30,078
You said we were
an interracial couple.
532
00:19:30,112 --> 00:19:32,478
We are because you're Hispanic.
533
00:19:36,445 --> 00:19:37,578
I am?
534
00:19:37,612 --> 00:19:38,578
Aren't you?
535
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,578
No. Why would you think that?
536
00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:43,078
Your name's Benes.
Your hair.
537
00:19:43,112 --> 00:19:45,412
And you kept taking me
to those Spanish restaurants.
538
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:48,078
That's because I thought
you were black.
539
00:19:49,512 --> 00:19:51,412
Why would you take me
to a Spanish restaurant
540
00:19:51,445 --> 00:19:52,745
because I'm black?
541
00:19:52,778 --> 00:19:55,912
I don't think we should
be talking about this.
542
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,078
So what are you?
543
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,212
I'm white.
544
00:19:58,245 --> 00:19:59,118
So we're just a...
545
00:19:59,118 --> 00:20:00,445
So we're just a...
546
00:20:00,478 --> 00:20:01,845
couple of white people?
547
00:20:03,145 --> 00:20:04,878
I guess.
548
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,778
Oh.
549
00:20:06,812 --> 00:20:09,612
Yeah.
550
00:20:09,645 --> 00:20:10,912
So do you want to go
to the Gap?
551
00:20:10,945 --> 00:20:11,845
Sure.
552
00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:16,212
[♪]
553
00:20:16,245 --> 00:20:18,212
Oh, well.
554
00:20:18,245 --> 00:20:19,912
I handed out
all the Wizards.
555
00:20:19,945 --> 00:20:21,245
The polls close
in one hour.
556
00:20:21,278 --> 00:20:22,412
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
557
00:20:22,445 --> 00:20:25,245
I think we got this baby
all sewn up, huh?
558
00:20:25,278 --> 00:20:27,112
Yeah. Oh, uh--
559
00:20:27,145 --> 00:20:29,118
There was an extra one.
Norman Bergerman.
560
00:20:29,118 --> 00:20:30,212
There was an extra one.
Norman Bergerman.
561
00:20:30,245 --> 00:20:33,212
He won't be leavin'
any tips where he is.
Aw.
562
00:20:33,245 --> 00:20:34,978
Congratulations,
Mr. President.
563
00:20:35,012 --> 00:20:37,478
Congratulations,
Mr. Puppet Master.
564
00:20:37,512 --> 00:20:39,478
Ha-ha.
Hey, Morty.
565
00:20:39,512 --> 00:20:41,545
What's wrong with these
tip calculators?
566
00:20:41,578 --> 00:20:42,978
What are you
talking about?
567
00:20:43,012 --> 00:20:43,978
It's overtipping.
568
00:20:44,012 --> 00:20:46,445
I just left 5 bucks
for a BLT.
569
00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:47,412
Let me see that.
570
00:20:48,778 --> 00:20:51,045
This isn't a Wizard,
it's a Willard.
571
00:20:51,078 --> 00:20:53,078
A Willard?
572
00:20:53,112 --> 00:20:55,212
Sacamano Sr. screwed me!
573
00:20:55,245 --> 00:20:56,978
Mine doesn't have a seven.
574
00:20:57,012 --> 00:20:58,245
I'm ruined!
575
00:20:58,278 --> 00:20:59,118
Jerry,
why didn't you get them Wizards?
576
00:20:59,118 --> 00:21:00,478
Jerry,
why didn't you get them Wizards?
577
00:21:00,512 --> 00:21:02,545
Because
a real Wizard's $200!
578
00:21:02,578 --> 00:21:03,712
You didn't have a deal?
579
00:21:03,745 --> 00:21:05,778
No deal, not hot.
580
00:21:05,812 --> 00:21:08,645
Morty, you and Kramer,
you're finished.
581
00:21:08,678 --> 00:21:10,078
What?
582
00:21:10,112 --> 00:21:13,145
SID:
Everyone vote for the guy
in the wheelchair.
583
00:21:13,178 --> 00:21:16,278
The people have spoken.
584
00:21:16,312 --> 00:21:19,012
Well, that's it for me. I'm--
I'm headin' back to New York.
585
00:21:22,078 --> 00:21:23,712
Dad, I'm sorry.
586
00:21:23,745 --> 00:21:24,978
You should be!
587
00:21:25,012 --> 00:21:28,712
How could you spend $200
on a tip calculator?!
588
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:29,118
It does other things!
589
00:21:29,118 --> 00:21:31,312
It does other things!
590
00:21:31,345 --> 00:21:34,312
[♪]
591
00:21:37,845 --> 00:21:40,812
[♪]
592
00:21:44,078 --> 00:21:46,212
Where are we, George?
593
00:21:46,245 --> 00:21:47,878
Almost there.
594
00:21:47,912 --> 00:21:50,578
This is the end
of Long Island.
595
00:21:50,612 --> 00:21:52,812
Where's your house?
596
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:56,212
We, uh, go on foot from here.
597
00:21:56,245 --> 00:21:57,145
All right.
598
00:22:09,145 --> 00:22:11,545
There's no house!
599
00:22:11,578 --> 00:22:12,912
It's a lie!
600
00:22:12,945 --> 00:22:15,812
There's no solarium.
There's no Prickly Pete.
601
00:22:15,845 --> 00:22:17,945
There's no other solarium.
602
00:22:17,978 --> 00:22:19,345
We know.
603
00:22:21,912 --> 00:22:23,445
Then why?
604
00:22:23,478 --> 00:22:24,945
Why did you make me
605
00:22:24,978 --> 00:22:27,378
drive all the way out here?!
606
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:29,212
Why didn't you say something?
607
00:22:29,245 --> 00:22:31,945
Why? Why? Why?!
608
00:22:32,912 --> 00:22:35,478
We don't like you, George.
609
00:22:37,245 --> 00:22:40,478
And we always blamed you
for what happened to Susan.
610
00:22:43,245 --> 00:22:45,745
Oh.
611
00:22:45,778 --> 00:22:47,478
All right.
612
00:22:47,512 --> 00:22:50,245
Let's head back.
613
00:22:50,278 --> 00:22:52,945
[♪]
39949
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