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1
00:00:01,433 --> 00:00:03,300
[♪]
2
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:05,466
Ahem. Maura, I, uh--
I want you to know
3
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,500
I've given this
a lot of thought.
4
00:00:07,533 --> 00:00:10,000
I'm sorry, but, we, uh--
5
00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:11,333
We have to break up.
6
00:00:12,066 --> 00:00:12,833
No.
7
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,666
What's that?
8
00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:19,266
We're not breaking up.
9
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:23,633
W-we're not?
10
00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:24,600
No.
11
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,066
All right.
12
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,033
[♪]
13
00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:39,033
[♪]
14
00:00:39,066 --> 00:00:40,133
JERRY:
She said no?
15
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,500
She said no.
16
00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:42,800
What did you do?
17
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,000
What could I do?
18
00:00:45,066 --> 00:00:46,566
We fooled around
and went to a movie.
19
00:00:48,233 --> 00:00:51,133
George, both parties don't
have to consent to a breakup.
20
00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:53,500
It's not like you're launching
missiles from a submarine
21
00:00:53,533 --> 00:00:55,166
and you both have
to turn your keys.
22
00:00:56,366 --> 00:00:58,400
Obviously, you didn't
make a convincing case.
23
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,733
Let me hear
your arguments.
24
00:00:59,766 --> 00:01:01,166
Well, I don't
really like her.
25
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,366
That's good.
26
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:03,633
I don't find her attractive.
27
00:01:03,666 --> 00:01:04,633
Solid.
28
00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:05,500
I'd like to sleep with
29
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:06,578
a lot of other women.
Always popular.
30
00:01:06,578 --> 00:01:07,466
a lot of other women.
Always popular.
31
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,566
Sometimes at restaurants
she talks to her food.
32
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,500
[MIMICKING]
Ooh, Mr. Mashed Potatoes,
you are so good.
33
00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:15,300
You have
an airtight case.
34
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:17,500
And in bed--
I'm afraid we're out of time.
35
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,466
Hey.
What?
36
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:22,633
Check these out.
37
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,366
These are Jerry Lewis'
old cuff links
38
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,466
that he actually wore in
the movie Cinderfella.
39
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:27,466
I got 'em at an auction.
40
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,466
I got some cuff links
I could've loaned you.
41
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,033
No. Jerry Lewis
is gonna be at this
42
00:01:32,066 --> 00:01:33,466
Friar's Club roast
I'm going to.
43
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,633
Now I have an in to strike up
a conversation with him.
44
00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:36,578
You already have an in.
45
00:01:36,578 --> 00:01:38,200
You already have an in.
46
00:01:38,233 --> 00:01:40,166
You have
the same first name:
47
00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:43,100
Jerry.
48
00:01:44,266 --> 00:01:45,733
Oh, that'll
intrigue him.
49
00:01:45,766 --> 00:01:49,333
Well, it worked when I met
George Peppard last week.
50
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:53,533
George Peppard
has been dead for years.
51
00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:56,466
Well, whoever he was,
52
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,033
he knew a lot about
The A-Team.
53
00:01:58,066 --> 00:01:59,466
[♪]
54
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,033
So you would choose
your last meal
55
00:02:01,066 --> 00:02:02,800
based on the method
of execution?
56
00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:05,033
Right. Right. I mean,
if I was getting the chair,
57
00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:06,578
I'd go for something
hot and spicy.
58
00:02:06,578 --> 00:02:06,800
I'd go for something
hot and spicy.
59
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:09,333
You know, Thai,
maybe Mexican.
60
00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:14,033
Lethal injection
feels like pasta, you know?
61
00:02:14,066 --> 00:02:16,500
It's painless.
Don't want anything too heavy.
62
00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:19,200
So, um, why don't we
get together some time?
63
00:02:19,233 --> 00:02:21,466
Oh, sure. Why don't you
give me your number?
64
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,466
I think it'd be better
if I called you.
65
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,500
Oh. Okay. Maybe we could
grab some lunch sometime...
66
00:02:26,533 --> 00:02:28,166
Do--? Do you work
around here, or--?
67
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,800
Mm-mm. No.
Not really.
68
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:33,200
So is there anything
you can tell me about yourself?
69
00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:35,200
I think you're
very beautiful.
70
00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:36,578
Oh. Ha, ha.
That'll do.
71
00:02:36,578 --> 00:02:37,466
Oh. Ha, ha.
That'll do.
72
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,000
[LAUGHS]
73
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,133
[♪]
74
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:41,366
JERRY:
What about Puddy?
75
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,000
I haven't talked to him
in like three weeks.
76
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,700
I think
it might be over.
77
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,366
So, what's
this guy about?
78
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,633
I don't know.
79
00:02:50,666 --> 00:02:52,233
Wouldn't tell me
his phone number,
80
00:02:52,266 --> 00:02:53,366
where he worked...
81
00:02:54,566 --> 00:02:57,333
I'll bet he's
in a relationship.
82
00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:58,400
Or he's
a crime fighter
83
00:02:58,433 --> 00:03:00,400
safeguarding his
secret identity.
84
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,633
Elaine, you could be
dating the Green Lantern!
85
00:03:04,666 --> 00:03:05,666
Which one is he?
86
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:06,578
Green suit,
power ring.
87
00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:07,400
Green suit,
power ring.
88
00:03:07,433 --> 00:03:09,566
I don't care
for jewelry on men.
89
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,133
Hey.
90
00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:13,500
It happened again.
91
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,233
Another robbery
in the building.
92
00:03:15,266 --> 00:03:18,133
So you bought
a cooler?
93
00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:21,366
It's a strongbox
to protect my irreplaceables.
94
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,733
And what
would those be?
95
00:03:23,766 --> 00:03:27,400
Some taxidermy that's been
in my family for generations.
96
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:30,633
My Tony,
my military discharge.
97
00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:32,166
You were
in the Army?
98
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:35,066
Eh...briefly.
99
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,578
Now I gotta find a good
place to hide this key,
100
00:03:36,578 --> 00:03:37,633
Now I gotta find a good
place to hide this key,
101
00:03:37,666 --> 00:03:39,233
because if
somebody finds this,
102
00:03:39,266 --> 00:03:41,466
they hold the key
to all my possessions.
103
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,433
Literally.
104
00:03:43,166 --> 00:03:44,566
Literally?
105
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,233
What's that
supposed to mean?
106
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:49,633
You mind if
I hide this somewhere?
107
00:03:49,666 --> 00:03:50,666
No. Go ahead.
108
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,000
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
109
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,500
A little privacy, huh?
110
00:03:57,533 --> 00:03:58,466
Oh, come on!
Oh.
111
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,466
Come on, Jerry.
This is a security issue.
112
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:03,066
Boy, you wouldn't last
a day in the Army.
113
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,400
How long did
you last?
114
00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:05,366
That's classified.
115
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,466
Hey, what if
he's married?
116
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,666
Kramer?
117
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:13,666
No, the Green Lantern.
118
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,200
KRAMER:
Okay!
119
00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:18,633
So you would date
a married guy?
120
00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:20,300
That's
so hacky.
121
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:22,400
Well, I don't know.
I may never marry.
122
00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:24,366
This might be
the closest I get.
123
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,200
[UTENSILS CLINKING IN DRAWER]
124
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,200
You peeked!
125
00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:32,266
This is your
hiding place?
126
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,733
It was
under a spoon!
127
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:36,578
[♪]
128
00:04:36,578 --> 00:04:38,633
[♪]
129
00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:40,633
GEORGE:
And so, for all these reasons,
130
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:42,600
we are officially
broken up.
131
00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:45,200
Thank you...
132
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,800
and good night.
133
00:04:47,833 --> 00:04:49,333
No, George, we're not.
134
00:04:49,833 --> 00:04:51,800
But I proved it!
135
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,166
I refuse to give up
on this relationship.
136
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,133
It's like launching missiles
from a submarine.
137
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,066
Both of us have
to turn our keys.
138
00:05:01,166 --> 00:05:05,133
Well, then, I am gonna have
to ask you to turn your key.
139
00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:06,578
I'm sorry, George.
I can't do that.
140
00:05:06,578 --> 00:05:07,266
I'm sorry, George.
I can't do that.
141
00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:10,466
Turn your key, Maura!
142
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,800
Turn your key!
143
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,700
[♪]
144
00:05:14,733 --> 00:05:17,633
So how is a guy like you
not involved?
145
00:05:17,666 --> 00:05:19,533
I might ask you
the same thing.
146
00:05:19,566 --> 00:05:22,100
ELAINE [THINKING]:
That's true.Maybe he's not married.
147
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:26,066
Oh, that is so sweet.
148
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,333
How long do Ihave to hold this?
149
00:05:30,566 --> 00:05:31,666
Oh, no.
150
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,300
Who is it?
Uh...
151
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,433
Uh, no one. No one.
152
00:05:36,766 --> 00:05:39,300
Here. Uh, let me show you
a shortcut. Come on.
153
00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:42,300
Married. That's it.I'm chuckin' the flower.
154
00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:44,266
[♪]
155
00:05:45,433 --> 00:05:47,066
Jerry!
156
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,500
Jerry!
157
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,666
Elaine, what are you
doing down there?
158
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,666
You didn't hear me buzzing?
159
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,300
Oh, I guess it's broken.
160
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,400
Well, throw down
your key.
161
00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:01,133
It's liable to bounce
and go into a sewer!
162
00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:02,533
I'll catch it!
163
00:06:02,566 --> 00:06:05,166
You'll chicken out
at the last second.
164
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,578
Yeah, you're right.
165
00:06:06,578 --> 00:06:07,500
Yeah, you're right.
166
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,466
Well, will you at least
167
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:12,300
keep me company until
somebody comes out?
168
00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:13,733
[ANNOYED]
All right.
169
00:06:18,266 --> 00:06:20,133
Hey, you know
what's weird?!
170
00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:21,133
Huh?
171
00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:22,133
I used to be able
172
00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:23,233
to have a huge meal,
173
00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:26,300
go right to sleep,
but I can't anymore.
174
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:28,000
Nodding off!
175
00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:33,366
Well, I was right.
He's an adulterer.
176
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,666
And he's cheating
on his wife with me!
177
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,166
We haven't
done anything yet.
178
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:45,300
I'm hungry! Can you
throw something down?
179
00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:46,633
All right!
180
00:06:46,666 --> 00:06:49,433
Here! I'm gonna try
and fix the buzzer.
181
00:06:51,733 --> 00:06:53,366
ELAINE:
It went in the sewer!
182
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,233
Hey!
What are you doing?
183
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,666
You jammed
your key in here?
184
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:06,578
You shorted out
my intercom!
185
00:07:06,578 --> 00:07:08,200
You shorted out
my intercom!
186
00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:10,666
You just had to go
lookin' for it, didn't you?
187
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,733
See, you hate it that
I have a little secret.
188
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:16,566
Anything I do: ooh, ooh!
You gotta know all about it!
189
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,633
You're so
obsessed with me!
190
00:07:18,666 --> 00:07:20,800
I'm gonna
go let Elaine in.
191
00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:22,200
What are you
doing with her?
192
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,166
[BANGING]
193
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,166
Kramer!
194
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,500
KRAMER:
Security issue!
195
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,033
Oh, hey, you got in.
Yeah.
196
00:07:32,066 --> 00:07:33,533
Flirted with
the menu guy. Here.
197
00:07:33,566 --> 00:07:35,066
Oh. Thanks.
198
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,578
KRAMER [BANGING]:
That wasn't me!
199
00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:36,666
KRAMER [BANGING]:
That wasn't me!
200
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,533
So he's definitely
married, huh?
201
00:07:40,566 --> 00:07:41,400
Ugh.
202
00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:43,300
Boy, would have
loved to have been there
203
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:44,633
when you told him off.
204
00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:47,133
[CLEARS THROAT NERVOUSLY]
205
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,400
Oh, come on.
206
00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:50,566
Well, he could be
a superhero!
207
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,733
You should've
seen him run.
208
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,533
KRAMER:
Okay!
209
00:07:55,566 --> 00:07:57,166
All right,
Jerry.
210
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,633
Let's see if you can
get it in your head
211
00:07:58,666 --> 00:08:00,233
that this is not
an Easter egg hunt
212
00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:02,233
for your childish
amusement.
213
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:05,200
Jerry!
214
00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:06,578
[TRYING TO WHISTLE]
215
00:08:06,578 --> 00:08:07,466
[TRYING TO WHISTLE]
216
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,533
George, the buzzer's
broken. I'll come down!
217
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,133
I believe
this belongs to you.
218
00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:23,000
[YELLS]
219
00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:25,000
[♪]
220
00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:33,000
Where did you
get that?
221
00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:34,566
I bought it.
222
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,500
Thanks.
223
00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:39,633
I'm sorry. I--
224
00:08:39,666 --> 00:08:42,000
I don't know you.
What?
225
00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:43,800
There's been some robberies
in the building.
226
00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,666
I-- I can't
let you in.
227
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:48,133
But I live here. I ran out
to buy some birdseed,
228
00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:49,500
and-- And I
forgot my key.
229
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:51,100
Sounds like
a scam.
230
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,166
I'm very sorry.
231
00:08:58,566 --> 00:08:59,633
So I broke up
with Maura.
232
00:08:59,666 --> 00:09:01,000
It's done.
I'm out.
233
00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:02,800
Great. You're lonely
and miserable again.
234
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:03,733
Feels right.
235
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:06,533
Is that guy
still there?
236
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,200
He's staring
at us.
237
00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:10,500
Don't look at him.
238
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:12,200
[KNOCKING]
[ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS]
239
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,266
We don't hear that.
240
00:09:15,666 --> 00:09:17,133
Want a bite?
241
00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,133
No, I don't.
242
00:09:19,166 --> 00:09:21,100
[♪]
243
00:09:23,533 --> 00:09:26,233
GEORGE [THINKING]:
I think that ginger aleat the coffee shop
244
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,000
is just Coke and Spritemixed together.
245
00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:29,000
How can I prove it?
246
00:09:29,666 --> 00:09:32,400
Ah! I can't! Damn it!
247
00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:34,166
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
248
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:39,666
Hi, honey.
249
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:43,666
What?
250
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,300
M-Maura, what are
you doin' here?
251
00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:48,066
I ended this
relationship twice.
252
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,666
George, you didn't mean that.
That was just a fight.
253
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,066
Why does it
always seem like
254
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:57,233
I'm the only one
working at this breakup?
255
00:09:57,266 --> 00:09:59,400
George, I listened
to your arguments,
256
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,000
and they were rambling
and flimsy.
257
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:03,066
I'm not convinced.
258
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,166
Come on. Get dressed,
and let's get some dinner.
259
00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:09,566
All right.
260
00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:14,600
[BABY-TALK VOICE]
Ew, Mr. Apple!
You have a brown spot!
261
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,366
[♪]
262
00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:24,233
ELAINE:
So this is your little...
love nest?
263
00:10:24,266 --> 00:10:27,500
It's nothing special,
just a little place I keep.
264
00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:29,000
Oh.
265
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:30,533
Uh, shall I light a fire?
266
00:10:30,566 --> 00:10:34,066
Oh. That sounds...
romantic.
267
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,700
I'm having a little
problem with the heat.
268
00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:36,578
Um, I got some
cardboard out here.
269
00:10:36,578 --> 00:10:37,700
Um, I got some
cardboard out here.
270
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:42,300
ELAINE [THINKING]:
This is wrong!I should go!
271
00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:43,566
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
272
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,200
Can you
get that, please?
273
00:10:45,233 --> 00:10:46,566
ELAINE:
Oh, sure!
274
00:10:48,766 --> 00:10:49,733
[GASPS]
275
00:10:49,766 --> 00:10:50,733
Where's Glenn?
276
00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,233
You're the woman
from the street,
277
00:10:53,266 --> 00:10:54,733
and I am so sorry.
278
00:10:54,766 --> 00:10:57,000
You know, I'm not
really a homewrecker.
279
00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:59,633
I-I-I-I thought
he was a superhero.
280
00:10:59,666 --> 00:11:01,533
I swear!
281
00:11:01,566 --> 00:11:05,000
Lady, I'm not his wife.
I'm his welfare caseworker.
282
00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:06,000
Is he home?
283
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,400
This is his home?
284
00:11:08,433 --> 00:11:09,400
Yes.
285
00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:10,666
So he's...
286
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:11,733
Poor.
287
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:13,666
[BANGING]
288
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,666
I think this
will burn!
289
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,000
[♪]
290
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,666
So you do
live here.
291
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,033
Yeah.
292
00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:44,800
You live
on this floor?
293
00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:45,733
Yeah.
294
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,133
So you live right...
295
00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:54,266
there.
Yeah.
296
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:56,633
So I guess I'll s--
297
00:11:56,666 --> 00:11:57,600
[SLAMS]
298
00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:01,033
[♪]
299
00:12:06,322 --> 00:12:07,922
ELAINE:
He wouldn't give me
his number,
300
00:12:07,955 --> 00:12:09,922
because he doesn't
have a phone.
301
00:12:09,955 --> 00:12:12,455
He's not married.
302
00:12:12,488 --> 00:12:13,555
He's poor.
303
00:12:14,788 --> 00:12:17,755
Is he wretchedly poor?
304
00:12:17,788 --> 00:12:20,355
Does he wear one of those
barrels with the straps?
305
00:12:23,288 --> 00:12:26,122
He probably busted it up
and burned it for heat.
306
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,255
So when are you givin'
Boxcar Willie
307
00:12:29,288 --> 00:12:30,622
his walkin' papers?
308
00:12:30,655 --> 00:12:32,788
How can I end it
over money?
309
00:12:32,822 --> 00:12:33,932
I feel bad.
310
00:12:33,932 --> 00:12:34,622
I feel bad.
311
00:12:34,655 --> 00:12:36,255
Well, let's think.
312
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:38,588
Have you ever dealt with
the poor in any other situation?
313
00:12:38,622 --> 00:12:40,855
Yes. There was
this homeless guy
314
00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:43,188
who used to urinate
on our garbage cans.
315
00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:44,722
Good. How did
you handle that?
316
00:12:45,788 --> 00:12:47,188
Well, we gave him
a few bucks,
317
00:12:47,222 --> 00:12:49,355
and now he goes in
the alley across the street.
318
00:12:49,388 --> 00:12:50,455
Same situation.
319
00:12:50,488 --> 00:12:52,188
Pay him off,
and you're clean.
320
00:12:52,222 --> 00:12:54,755
Well, I am not
paying Glenn off
321
00:12:54,788 --> 00:12:57,188
to get out of
this relationship.
322
00:12:57,222 --> 00:12:58,455
Wh--? What am I
supposed to do,
323
00:12:58,488 --> 00:13:01,822
just walk into his hovel
and hand him...?
324
00:13:01,855 --> 00:13:03,788
Well, how much do you
think it would be?
325
00:13:05,155 --> 00:13:06,022
Hey.
326
00:13:06,055 --> 00:13:07,588
Hey, where have
you been?
327
00:13:07,622 --> 00:13:09,355
Seeing Maura.
328
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,255
Apparently, I was
unable to break up
329
00:13:11,288 --> 00:13:12,822
beyond a reasonable doubt.
330
00:13:14,488 --> 00:13:16,922
If only he could have been
cheating on his wife.
331
00:13:16,955 --> 00:13:19,255
You know, things would have
been so much simpler.
332
00:13:19,288 --> 00:13:20,588
Who is this,
Blue Arrow?
333
00:13:20,622 --> 00:13:21,588
Green Lantern.
334
00:13:21,622 --> 00:13:25,322
We found out his super-power
was lack of money.
335
00:13:25,355 --> 00:13:26,322
All right.
336
00:13:26,355 --> 00:13:27,588
He's invulnerable
337
00:13:27,622 --> 00:13:29,688
to creditors.
We get it.
338
00:13:29,722 --> 00:13:31,788
He's the
Got-No-Green Lantern.
339
00:13:31,822 --> 00:13:32,788
Thank you.
340
00:13:33,722 --> 00:13:33,932
Hey, Elaine.
341
00:13:33,932 --> 00:13:34,688
Hey, Elaine.
342
00:13:34,722 --> 00:13:36,188
Maybe his
girlfriend
343
00:13:36,222 --> 00:13:37,322
is Lois Loan.
344
00:13:38,455 --> 00:13:40,122
Well-crafted.
345
00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:42,122
Hey, maybe this
cheating thing
346
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,922
is what I could use
to ditch Maura.
347
00:13:43,955 --> 00:13:47,288
Sure. Just tell Maura
you're having an affair.
348
00:13:47,322 --> 00:13:48,622
She's like a
district attorney.
349
00:13:48,655 --> 00:13:51,122
If it's not the truth,
I'll break under the cross.
350
00:13:51,855 --> 00:13:53,455
I actually
have to do it.
351
00:13:55,322 --> 00:13:56,688
Could you move
over there?
352
00:14:02,455 --> 00:14:03,932
Hey, you know,
there's this secretary at work
353
00:14:03,932 --> 00:14:04,622
Hey, you know,
there's this secretary at work
354
00:14:04,655 --> 00:14:05,922
that always had
a crush on me.
355
00:14:05,955 --> 00:14:08,355
Really? How come you
never pursued her before?
356
00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:10,188
She's too tanned.
357
00:14:10,222 --> 00:14:13,122
It's the middle of the winter.
She's like a carrot.
358
00:14:13,155 --> 00:14:14,922
Did I leave
my glasses here?
359
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,622
He could wipe out his
checking account
360
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:17,822
in a single bounce!
Keep 'em.
361
00:14:18,688 --> 00:14:20,622
[♪]
362
00:14:22,955 --> 00:14:24,522
[DOOR OPENING]
[PARROT SQUAWKS]
363
00:14:25,355 --> 00:14:26,455
[CHUCKLES]
364
00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:29,522
There's a giant parrot
in the hallway.
365
00:14:29,555 --> 00:14:31,188
It's Phil's.
Who?
366
00:14:31,222 --> 00:14:33,522
Our neighbor that
you turned against.
367
00:14:34,888 --> 00:14:36,755
Anyway, I told him
it would be fine with us
368
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,455
if he wanted to let it stretch
its wings out in the hallway.
369
00:14:39,488 --> 00:14:41,255
What'd you
tell him that for?
370
00:14:41,288 --> 00:14:43,622
Because since you've been
playing God with the front door,
371
00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:46,255
I've been tryin' to
smooth things out, Jerry.
372
00:14:46,288 --> 00:14:48,255
In fact, I was just
hangin' out at his place.
373
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,322
Really? What's it like?
374
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:51,588
Is it nicer than mine?
Where does he have the couch?
375
00:14:51,622 --> 00:14:54,255
Well, I don't know,
but the key problem is solved.
376
00:14:54,288 --> 00:14:55,488
I hid it at Phil's.
377
00:14:55,522 --> 00:14:57,255
He let you?
No. He doesn't know.
378
00:14:57,288 --> 00:14:59,522
See, I hid it
without telling him.
379
00:14:59,555 --> 00:15:02,655
So, uh, Phil won't be
compulsively looking for it,
380
00:15:02,688 --> 00:15:03,932
like some people.
381
00:15:03,932 --> 00:15:04,355
like some people.
382
00:15:05,455 --> 00:15:06,388
You.
383
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:08,755
[DOOR CLOSES]
384
00:15:08,788 --> 00:15:10,255
[PARROT SCREECHING]
385
00:15:10,288 --> 00:15:11,622
[BANGING, YELLING]
386
00:15:15,222 --> 00:15:17,188
[♪]
387
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:22,922
So you-- You say you've been
in the city all winter?
388
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,488
I was in Maine
for a couple days.
389
00:15:28,288 --> 00:15:29,422
Well...
390
00:15:29,455 --> 00:15:31,322
here we are.
391
00:15:31,355 --> 00:15:32,322
[CHUCKLES]
392
00:15:32,355 --> 00:15:33,455
George...
393
00:15:33,488 --> 00:15:33,932
I've always fantasized about
jumping into bed with you.
394
00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:36,588
I've always fantasized about
jumping into bed with you.
395
00:15:36,622 --> 00:15:39,255
Ho-ho!
396
00:15:39,288 --> 00:15:40,222
But...
397
00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:42,755
I don't want
to spoil things
398
00:15:42,788 --> 00:15:44,688
by sleeping
with you too soon.
399
00:15:44,722 --> 00:15:45,622
Are you sure?
400
00:15:45,655 --> 00:15:47,788
'Cause it could really
help me out of a jam.
401
00:15:49,455 --> 00:15:51,588
I wanna build something
with you, George.
402
00:15:51,622 --> 00:15:52,788
Oh, not more building.
403
00:15:54,322 --> 00:15:56,188
And I won't take "no"
for an answer.
404
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:57,755
No?
405
00:15:57,788 --> 00:15:58,722
No.
406
00:16:03,288 --> 00:16:03,932
All right.
407
00:16:03,932 --> 00:16:04,922
All right.
408
00:16:04,955 --> 00:16:07,255
[♪]
409
00:16:07,288 --> 00:16:10,255
Eh, what are we doing
in this alley, anyway?
410
00:16:10,288 --> 00:16:11,588
It's a surprise.
411
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:13,155
[GIGGLING]
Oh.
412
00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:17,488
What are you doing?
What is that?
413
00:16:17,522 --> 00:16:18,755
It's a bag
of doughnuts.
414
00:16:18,788 --> 00:16:20,488
It's garbage.
No, no, no, no.
415
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:21,655
When they make
the new ones,
416
00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:23,588
the old ones
come out right here.
417
00:16:23,622 --> 00:16:25,688
All right. That's it.
418
00:16:25,722 --> 00:16:27,355
How do you spell
your last name?
419
00:16:27,388 --> 00:16:28,588
It's a bear claw!
420
00:16:28,622 --> 00:16:30,788
You have no idea
how rare this is.
421
00:16:30,822 --> 00:16:33,122
I'll make it out
to cash.
422
00:16:33,155 --> 00:16:33,932
How about 200 bucks?
423
00:16:33,932 --> 00:16:34,522
How about 200 bucks?
424
00:16:34,555 --> 00:16:36,122
Two-fifty?
425
00:16:36,155 --> 00:16:37,255
Mm!
426
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:38,922
Make it 300.
427
00:16:38,955 --> 00:16:41,255
You know, Elaine,
428
00:16:41,288 --> 00:16:42,688
you're the bear claw
429
00:16:42,722 --> 00:16:44,455
in the garbage bag
of my life.
430
00:16:48,222 --> 00:16:49,788
Aw, Glenn...
431
00:16:53,822 --> 00:16:55,788
[♪]
432
00:16:57,688 --> 00:16:59,255
Hi. Is Phil here?
433
00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:00,255
Yeah, I'm here.
434
00:17:00,288 --> 00:17:01,788
[PARROT SQUAWKS]
435
00:17:01,822 --> 00:17:03,522
Phil, hi.
436
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:03,932
I-I know we got off
to kind of a bad start,
437
00:17:03,932 --> 00:17:05,522
I-I know we got off
to kind of a bad start,
438
00:17:05,555 --> 00:17:06,655
but your bird--
439
00:17:06,688 --> 00:17:09,255
Which is lovely,
by the way.
440
00:17:09,288 --> 00:17:11,188
--made a mess
on my door.
441
00:17:11,222 --> 00:17:12,488
And?
442
00:17:12,522 --> 00:17:14,122
I thought maybe
you'd clean it up,
443
00:17:14,155 --> 00:17:15,488
or your maid there.
444
00:17:15,522 --> 00:17:17,122
That's my wife.
445
00:17:21,555 --> 00:17:23,122
All right.
I think we're done here.
446
00:17:23,655 --> 00:17:25,622
[♪]
447
00:17:27,488 --> 00:17:30,255
JERRY:
So you're in a relationship
with a woman you don't like,
448
00:17:30,288 --> 00:17:31,755
and you're having
an affair with a woman
449
00:17:31,788 --> 00:17:33,422
that won't
have sex with you.
450
00:17:33,455 --> 00:17:33,932
This isn't going well.
451
00:17:33,932 --> 00:17:36,122
This isn't going well.
452
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,755
I cannot find my
Jerry Lewis cuff links.
453
00:17:38,788 --> 00:17:40,488
Without 'em,
I have no in!
454
00:17:40,522 --> 00:17:42,322
You don't need
the cuff links!
455
00:17:42,355 --> 00:17:43,688
You have the same name!
456
00:17:44,888 --> 00:17:46,388
Jerry!
457
00:17:49,188 --> 00:17:50,822
Where you goin'?
Help me look!
458
00:17:50,855 --> 00:17:52,622
It's a big night.
I'm, uh...
459
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:53,955
ice-skating with one,
460
00:17:53,988 --> 00:17:57,488
and going to a staged reading
of Godspell with the other.
461
00:17:58,288 --> 00:18:00,122
Which is with who?
462
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:01,855
It doesn't matter.
463
00:18:04,622 --> 00:18:06,322
Whoo! Boy.
464
00:18:06,355 --> 00:18:07,822
Yeah, you
clean up nice.
465
00:18:07,855 --> 00:18:10,188
I can't go until
I find my cuff links.
466
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:11,755
Yeah, see? I knew
you would lose 'em.
467
00:18:11,788 --> 00:18:13,755
That's why I took 'em
outta your dresser drawer
468
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,622
and put 'em
in my strongbox.
469
00:18:15,655 --> 00:18:17,122
[FLATLY]
You're a lifesaver.
470
00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:18,488
Would you get them, please?
471
00:18:18,522 --> 00:18:20,788
Yeah. We'll stop by Phil's.
We'll pick up the key.
472
00:18:20,822 --> 00:18:22,355
[WOMAN SOBBING]
473
00:18:24,355 --> 00:18:25,488
Hey, what's
goin' on?
474
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,688
Fredo is dead.
475
00:18:27,722 --> 00:18:29,188
That strange
Portuguese guy
476
00:18:29,222 --> 00:18:30,822
that lives next door
to the incinerator?
477
00:18:30,855 --> 00:18:32,588
No! My bird.
478
00:18:32,622 --> 00:18:33,932
We just got back
from the pet cemetery.
479
00:18:33,932 --> 00:18:34,922
We just got back
from the pet cemetery.
480
00:18:34,955 --> 00:18:36,488
Oh...Phil.
481
00:18:38,188 --> 00:18:39,455
Mrs. Phil.
482
00:18:39,488 --> 00:18:41,922
I'm so sorry.
483
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,755
Oh, I'll bet you are!
484
00:18:43,788 --> 00:18:46,188
They told us
he was poisoned!
485
00:18:46,222 --> 00:18:48,188
Something in his food.
486
00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:49,288
But I--
I didn't-- I--
487
00:18:49,322 --> 00:18:50,655
[DOOR SLAMS]
488
00:18:50,688 --> 00:18:52,855
Kramer, they think
I killed Fredo!
489
00:18:52,888 --> 00:18:54,422
And who buries
a bird?
490
00:18:54,455 --> 00:18:56,622
Yeah. Just give it
to the Portuguese guy,
491
00:18:56,655 --> 00:18:59,322
and he puts it
in the incinerator.
492
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:00,455
Just get the key,
493
00:19:00,488 --> 00:19:02,422
and let's get outta here.
Yeah, yeah.
494
00:19:02,455 --> 00:19:03,622
You know, it's a--
495
00:19:03,655 --> 00:19:03,932
It's a funny thing
about that bird dying.
496
00:19:03,932 --> 00:19:05,855
It's a funny thing
about that bird dying.
497
00:19:05,888 --> 00:19:08,155
I hid the key
in Fredo's food dish.
498
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:10,822
Whew! That's a weird
coincidence, huh?
499
00:19:10,855 --> 00:19:12,588
Kramer.
What?
500
00:19:12,622 --> 00:19:14,255
You killed Fredo!
501
00:19:14,288 --> 00:19:16,155
Well, Fredo was
weak and stupid.
502
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:17,522
He shouldn't have
eaten that key.
503
00:19:18,522 --> 00:19:20,122
Kramer, I need
those cuff links,
504
00:19:20,155 --> 00:19:22,755
but now they're in the box,
and the key is in the bird.
505
00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:23,688
What are we gonna do?
506
00:19:24,855 --> 00:19:26,688
You just answered
your own question.
507
00:19:27,388 --> 00:19:28,355
Oh, no.
508
00:19:28,388 --> 00:19:29,555
I'll get the shovel.
509
00:19:30,322 --> 00:19:32,288
[♪]
510
00:19:33,322 --> 00:19:33,932
The, uh, actor
that played Jesus
511
00:19:33,932 --> 00:19:35,622
The, uh, actor
that played Jesus
512
00:19:35,655 --> 00:19:37,388
made some odd choices.
513
00:19:39,288 --> 00:19:40,088
What?
514
00:19:40,122 --> 00:19:43,455
I mean, uh,
I had fun ice-skating.
515
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,822
George?
516
00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:52,588
Maura.
517
00:19:52,622 --> 00:19:55,422
Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?
518
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,122
You told me
to meet you here for lunch.
519
00:19:57,155 --> 00:20:01,588
Oh! I'm caught
in my own web of lies!
520
00:20:01,622 --> 00:20:02,588
I'm Maura.
521
00:20:02,622 --> 00:20:03,932
I'm Loretta.
You wanna join us?
522
00:20:03,932 --> 00:20:04,422
I'm Loretta.
You wanna join us?
523
00:20:04,455 --> 00:20:07,188
Oh! This is all
blowing up in my face!
524
00:20:07,222 --> 00:20:10,755
My-- My serious girlfriend
and my torrid love affair
525
00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:12,622
have accidentally
crossed paths.
526
00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:15,622
I have ruined
three lives!
527
00:20:15,655 --> 00:20:19,822
Well, I understand if you
never wanna see me again.
528
00:20:19,855 --> 00:20:21,255
So...
529
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,788
George, what we have
is too important.
530
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,122
We can work
through this.
531
00:20:24,155 --> 00:20:25,122
So can we.
532
00:20:27,188 --> 00:20:28,122
What?
533
00:20:29,355 --> 00:20:30,922
So this is still
not over?
534
00:20:30,955 --> 00:20:32,255
No.
535
00:20:32,288 --> 00:20:33,522
You?
536
00:20:33,555 --> 00:20:33,932
No.
537
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:34,622
No.
538
00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:40,122
All right.
539
00:20:41,655 --> 00:20:43,622
[♪]
540
00:20:44,888 --> 00:20:46,355
GLENN:
Elaine, wow.
541
00:20:46,388 --> 00:20:48,488
A TV, a stereo.
542
00:20:48,522 --> 00:20:50,188
Yeah, and I got you
a cord of wood
543
00:20:50,222 --> 00:20:51,688
so you won't
have to burn 'em.
544
00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:56,288
Oh, my God. Alison.
545
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:57,588
You're home early.
546
00:20:57,622 --> 00:20:58,822
Who is this?
547
00:20:58,855 --> 00:20:59,622
His wife.
548
00:21:01,222 --> 00:21:03,932
You're poor and married?
549
00:21:03,932 --> 00:21:04,455
You're poor and married?
550
00:21:04,488 --> 00:21:05,822
Looks like it.
551
00:21:05,855 --> 00:21:07,322
Who the hell are you?
552
00:21:07,355 --> 00:21:10,422
I guess I'm Lois Loan.
553
00:21:10,455 --> 00:21:12,388
[♪]
554
00:21:13,788 --> 00:21:15,855
Kramer, I can't believe
we're graverobbers.
555
00:21:15,888 --> 00:21:18,355
"Man's best friend."
556
00:21:18,388 --> 00:21:20,788
Jerry, I want something
like that on my tombstone.
557
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,755
Oh, my God.
Here he is.
558
00:21:24,788 --> 00:21:26,622
I don't wanna
dig him up.
559
00:21:26,655 --> 00:21:28,822
All right.
Then you're the one
560
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:30,122
getting the key
out of him.
561
00:21:31,655 --> 00:21:32,522
I'll dig.
562
00:21:34,322 --> 00:21:36,155
Listen, I heard that
Lassie number three's
563
00:21:36,188 --> 00:21:37,155
buried around here.
564
00:21:37,188 --> 00:21:38,555
I'm gonna go
check it out.
565
00:21:46,688 --> 00:21:47,822
[CLINK]
566
00:21:47,855 --> 00:21:50,322
Well, that was easy.
567
00:21:50,355 --> 00:21:51,122
[♪]
568
00:21:51,155 --> 00:21:53,155
All right, honey.
One last look.
569
00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:55,722
Then you have to let Fredo
rest in peace.
570
00:21:58,355 --> 00:22:00,622
Hey, Kramer,
I dug Fredo up.
571
00:22:00,655 --> 00:22:02,422
Now let's
cut him open.
572
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:03,922
Oh, my God!
573
00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:05,455
[MUFFLED YELL]
574
00:22:07,855 --> 00:22:08,822
Hey, neighbor.
575
00:22:08,855 --> 00:22:10,822
[♪]
576
00:22:16,455 --> 00:22:17,855
[♪]
577
00:22:17,888 --> 00:22:18,822
All right.
578
00:22:20,522 --> 00:22:23,188
I'm gonna try
giving them $55 each.
579
00:22:26,622 --> 00:22:27,455
What do you think?
580
00:22:27,488 --> 00:22:30,155
Give me 40,
you'll never see me again.
581
00:22:31,788 --> 00:22:33,122
[SUCKS TEETH]
582
00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:36,588
So what're you gonna do?
You gonna live here,
583
00:22:36,622 --> 00:22:38,188
are you gonna move out,
or what?
584
00:22:38,222 --> 00:22:40,122
I'll just take
the fire escape
585
00:22:40,155 --> 00:22:41,555
to get in and out
of the building.
586
00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:44,708
So, what's in
the cooler?
587
00:22:44,708 --> 00:22:45,288
So, what's in
the cooler?
588
00:22:47,522 --> 00:22:48,455
[GASPS]
589
00:22:50,222 --> 00:22:52,422
Well, will you
look at that.
590
00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:53,822
I guess I forgot
to lock it.
591
00:22:56,288 --> 00:22:58,822
You mean
it was open?
592
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:02,288
We desecrated
a pet cemetery for nothing?!
593
00:23:02,322 --> 00:23:03,188
Well,
594
00:23:03,222 --> 00:23:05,422
this is one for the books,
huh, Jerry?
595
00:23:05,455 --> 00:23:07,388
[♪]
596
00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:11,122
KRAMER:
Really one for the books.
39602
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