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1
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,172
[♪]
2
00:00:10,376 --> 00:00:12,645
So Elaine, are you gonna sleep
with me or what?
3
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:15,982
George, I just got off
a 23-hour plane ride.
4
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:19,152
I'm too tired to even vomit
at the thought.
5
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,320
Fine.
6
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,821
I'll ask again
when you're rested.
7
00:00:21,854 --> 00:00:23,323
I'm sure she'll come around.
8
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,658
Yeah, I hope so, for your sake.
9
00:00:25,691 --> 00:00:27,160
I said I was sorry.
10
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:29,162
You can stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
11
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,000
Would you please
stop saying that?
12
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,364
Would you please
stop saying that?
13
00:00:31,397 --> 00:00:34,167
What's up with you two?
I don't wanna talk about it.
14
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,368
So how was the big trip?
15
00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:36,836
I don't wanna talk about it.
16
00:00:36,869 --> 00:00:38,338
Well, what happened
to your nose?
17
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,873
I don't wanna talk about it.
18
00:00:40,906 --> 00:00:43,175
Well, you gotta
give me something.
19
00:00:43,208 --> 00:00:46,178
Come on, how was the wedding?
Was the bride radiant?
20
00:00:46,211 --> 00:00:47,847
She was.
21
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,049
She found out Elaine
slept with the groom.
22
00:00:50,082 --> 00:00:53,018
Ooh, that sounds juicy.
23
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,520
Listen,
I gotta go to the bathroom,
24
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,889
but I wanna hear all about it.
25
00:00:56,922 --> 00:00:58,523
You know,
I didn't go to the bathroom
26
00:00:58,557 --> 00:01:00,000
the entire time we were India.
27
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,726
the entire time we were India.
28
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,363
I can't believe we went all
the way to India for a wedding.
29
00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:05,898
[♪]
30
00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:11,536
That's it. The wedding's off.
But Sue Ellen--
31
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:12,905
Elaine,
you were my maid of honor
32
00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:14,873
and you slept with my Pinter?
33
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:17,242
No, no. It was years ago,
before you met him,
34
00:01:17,276 --> 00:01:19,244
and I gotta tell you,
it was very mechanical.
35
00:01:20,245 --> 00:01:22,381
I have never been so humiliated.
36
00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:25,084
Idiots. This is all your fault.
37
00:01:25,117 --> 00:01:28,220
Me? Him. His fault.
He betrayed me.
38
00:01:28,253 --> 00:01:29,254
George, I'm sorry.
39
00:01:29,288 --> 00:01:30,000
You can stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
40
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,423
You can stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
41
00:01:31,456 --> 00:01:33,558
I don't know what that means.
42
00:01:33,592 --> 00:01:36,428
Nina, you have to decide
right now: Jerry or me.
43
00:01:36,461 --> 00:01:38,897
All right. Neither.
44
00:01:38,930 --> 00:01:40,732
What?
45
00:01:40,765 --> 00:01:43,401
What are you doing here?
A free trip to India.
46
00:01:43,435 --> 00:01:45,904
And by the way,
you can take off those boots.
47
00:01:45,937 --> 00:01:48,406
Everyone knows you're 5'6".
48
00:01:48,439 --> 00:01:51,743
5'8". 5'7".
ELAINE: See?
49
00:01:51,776 --> 00:01:55,579
See the way they are?
We're still best friends, right?
50
00:01:55,613 --> 00:01:58,917
No. And take that stupid thing
out of your nose.
51
00:01:58,950 --> 00:01:59,918
[ELAINE SCREAMING]
52
00:01:59,951 --> 00:02:00,000
That's got to hurt,
53
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,252
That's got to hurt,
54
00:02:01,285 --> 00:02:03,587
I don't care where you're from.
55
00:02:03,621 --> 00:02:07,926
When is our flight back?
I gotta go to the bathroom.
56
00:02:07,959 --> 00:02:09,627
[♪]
57
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:17,468
Hi.
58
00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:20,138
What happened last night?
59
00:02:20,171 --> 00:02:22,140
Well, you were pretty loaded.
I know.
60
00:02:22,173 --> 00:02:24,308
I woke up with this.
61
00:02:24,342 --> 00:02:26,644
Oh, hello, tetanus.
62
00:02:30,981 --> 00:02:33,150
George, I'd use the bathroom.
It's fine.
63
00:02:33,183 --> 00:02:35,453
No, no, no.
I can walk it off.
64
00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:37,655
It's 120 degrees in here.
I'll sweat it out.
65
00:02:40,824 --> 00:02:42,325
Hey.
66
00:02:42,359 --> 00:02:45,996
Are those Timberlands
painted black?
67
00:02:46,029 --> 00:02:47,998
Is your nose pierced?
68
00:02:49,332 --> 00:02:51,668
I should--
Yeah. Sit down.
69
00:02:53,837 --> 00:02:54,838
Hello, Jerry.
70
00:02:54,872 --> 00:02:57,474
I believe you know Nina.
71
00:02:57,507 --> 00:02:59,142
George, we need to talk.
72
00:02:59,176 --> 00:03:00,000
You've done a lot more
than talk.
73
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,810
You've done a lot more
than talk.
74
00:03:00,843 --> 00:03:01,979
You betrayed me.
75
00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:03,480
All right, I admit it.
76
00:03:03,513 --> 00:03:05,315
I slept with Nina,
but that's all.
77
00:03:05,348 --> 00:03:07,985
That's all? That's everything.
78
00:03:08,018 --> 00:03:10,320
I don't know what the rest
of it is for, anyway.
79
00:03:10,353 --> 00:03:11,821
I'm really sorry.
80
00:03:11,854 --> 00:03:14,157
You can stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
81
00:03:14,191 --> 00:03:16,993
Where'd you get that one?
It's an expression.
82
00:03:17,026 --> 00:03:18,027
Hey, shh!
83
00:03:22,865 --> 00:03:25,167
Look, we are gonna settle this
right now.
84
00:03:25,201 --> 00:03:26,836
I demand reparations.
85
00:03:26,869 --> 00:03:28,337
I should get to sleep
with Elaine.
86
00:03:28,371 --> 00:03:29,839
That's the only way
to punish you.
87
00:03:29,872 --> 00:03:30,000
That doesn't punish me.
88
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,340
That doesn't punish me.
89
00:03:31,373 --> 00:03:35,512
It punishes Elaine.
And cruelly, I might add.
90
00:03:35,545 --> 00:03:38,715
Funny guy.
91
00:03:39,749 --> 00:03:42,218
Hey, monkeys. Knock it off.
92
00:03:42,251 --> 00:03:44,520
My best friend is trying
to get married up here.
93
00:03:44,553 --> 00:03:48,024
Elaine,
you have to sleep with me.
94
00:03:48,057 --> 00:03:49,525
I'm not gonna sleep with you.
95
00:03:49,558 --> 00:03:50,726
Reparations.
96
00:03:52,561 --> 00:03:55,031
Would you grow up, George?
What is the difference?
97
00:03:55,064 --> 00:03:56,698
Nina slept with him,
he slept with me,
98
00:03:56,732 --> 00:03:57,899
I slept with Pinter.
99
00:03:57,934 --> 00:04:00,000
Nobody cares.
It's all ancient history.
100
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,369
Nobody cares.
It's all ancient history.
101
00:04:00,402 --> 00:04:02,571
You slept with the groom?
102
00:04:08,410 --> 00:04:10,579
[♪]
103
00:04:21,923 --> 00:04:25,393
Thank you, FDR.
104
00:04:25,427 --> 00:04:26,728
All right, now we're even, huh?
105
00:04:26,762 --> 00:04:28,730
I stuck a rock in there too.
106
00:04:28,764 --> 00:04:30,000
I felt that.
All right. Okay.
107
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,767
I felt that.
All right. Okay.
108
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,902
[♪]
109
00:04:33,935 --> 00:04:35,070
KRAMER:
All right, FDR.
110
00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:36,738
This wish is for
all the marbles.
111
00:04:36,772 --> 00:04:39,107
You win, you get your wish,
I drop dead.
112
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:42,243
I win, I don't drop dead
and I get 100 percent
113
00:04:42,277 --> 00:04:44,079
anti-drop-dead protection.
114
00:04:44,112 --> 00:04:45,113
Forever.
115
00:04:46,281 --> 00:04:48,616
All right.
116
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,287
Oh.
Man.
117
00:04:53,621 --> 00:04:55,256
Come on.
There's gotta be something
118
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:56,757
that'll change your mind, FDR.
119
00:04:56,791 --> 00:04:57,792
Something.
120
00:05:00,628 --> 00:05:02,830
What, you want my kidney?
121
00:05:06,334 --> 00:05:08,636
[WHIMPERS]
122
00:05:12,473 --> 00:05:13,808
[♪]
123
00:05:15,976 --> 00:05:18,446
George knows that you
slept with Nina.
124
00:05:18,479 --> 00:05:20,948
That's why he was acting
so weird.
125
00:05:20,981 --> 00:05:22,617
How did he find out?
126
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:25,620
He schnapped me.
127
00:05:25,653 --> 00:05:27,287
You know you're
not supposed to drink
128
00:05:27,321 --> 00:05:28,956
while you're keeping a secret.
129
00:05:28,989 --> 00:05:30,791
[GIGGLING]
130
00:05:30,825 --> 00:05:32,960
Is there anything else?
131
00:05:32,993 --> 00:05:34,128
I can't tell you.
132
00:05:34,161 --> 00:05:35,796
Here, drink this.
133
00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:36,831
Okay.
134
00:05:42,669 --> 00:05:45,139
I slept with the groom.
135
00:05:45,172 --> 00:05:48,642
Pinter?
He used to be called Peter.
136
00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:50,977
So who cares about that?
137
00:05:51,011 --> 00:05:52,979
Sue Ellen!
138
00:05:53,012 --> 00:05:56,650
If she knew, she'd call off
the whole wedding.
139
00:05:56,683 --> 00:05:59,653
Oh, nobody's calling off
any weddings.
140
00:05:59,686 --> 00:06:01,355
All right, it's time to go.
141
00:06:03,357 --> 00:06:05,359
Come on. Up.
142
00:06:07,394 --> 00:06:10,163
You know what Jerry
is in Indian?
143
00:06:10,196 --> 00:06:11,186
No, what?
144
00:06:11,186 --> 00:06:11,498
No, what?
145
00:06:11,531 --> 00:06:12,499
"Jugdish."
146
00:06:12,532 --> 00:06:16,335
Yes, Jugdish.
Hey.
147
00:06:16,369 --> 00:06:19,706
What if I got my nose pierced?
148
00:06:19,739 --> 00:06:22,008
That would be pretty freaky.
149
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:25,845
Ooo-oo-ooh.
150
00:06:25,879 --> 00:06:28,514
Yes. I think it's a fine idea.
151
00:06:28,547 --> 00:06:29,716
Well, good night.
152
00:06:33,887 --> 00:06:35,188
Good night, Jugdish.
153
00:06:35,221 --> 00:06:37,223
[CACKLES]
154
00:06:39,558 --> 00:06:41,186
[♪]
155
00:06:41,186 --> 00:06:41,527
[♪]
156
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,230
Bless you.
Thank you.
157
00:06:44,263 --> 00:06:46,399
[♪]
158
00:06:46,432 --> 00:06:49,235
[SNEEZES]
159
00:06:49,268 --> 00:06:52,238
[♪]
160
00:06:52,271 --> 00:06:53,539
Hello, FDR.
161
00:06:53,572 --> 00:06:56,542
Yeah, I'll have a hot one.
162
00:06:56,575 --> 00:06:57,743
Everything on it.
163
00:06:57,776 --> 00:07:02,047
These things will kill you,
but so what?
164
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,749
You're already gonna drop dead.
165
00:07:03,782 --> 00:07:05,083
Well, guess what, FDR?
166
00:07:05,117 --> 00:07:06,885
I made a wish
on a shooting star last night
167
00:07:06,919 --> 00:07:09,722
and I wished against your wish.
168
00:07:09,755 --> 00:07:11,056
That's funny.
169
00:07:11,089 --> 00:07:11,186
As it happens
I saw the same shooting star
170
00:07:11,186 --> 00:07:13,726
As it happens
I saw the same shooting star
171
00:07:13,759 --> 00:07:16,228
and I double-wished you
to drop dead.
172
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,262
Here's your change.
173
00:07:18,931 --> 00:07:20,766
All right, I'm triple-wishing.
174
00:07:22,434 --> 00:07:26,438
Yeah, fair enough.
I'm quadruple-wishing.
175
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,909
All right. How do you like this?
176
00:07:30,943 --> 00:07:32,410
[CRIES OUT]
177
00:07:32,444 --> 00:07:34,746
I like it a lot.
178
00:07:34,779 --> 00:07:36,281
Go.
179
00:07:41,119 --> 00:07:41,186
[♪]
180
00:07:41,186 --> 00:07:42,420
[♪]
181
00:07:42,454 --> 00:07:44,289
[MAN ON PA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
IN INDIAN]
182
00:07:44,322 --> 00:07:45,623
[AIRPLANE FLIES BY]
183
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:51,596
Oh, God, it's so hot.
184
00:07:51,629 --> 00:07:53,265
What is that smell?
185
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,600
I think it's the stench
of death.
186
00:07:55,633 --> 00:07:59,270
George, you've been wearing
those boots since I met you.
187
00:07:59,303 --> 00:08:01,105
You're not gonna wear them
to the wedding,
188
00:08:01,138 --> 00:08:02,440
are you?
No.
189
00:08:02,474 --> 00:08:04,108
[SNORTS]
190
00:08:04,141 --> 00:08:05,977
I'm gonna wear black shoes.
191
00:08:08,012 --> 00:08:09,814
Oh, boy, there's Sue Ellen.
192
00:08:09,847 --> 00:08:11,186
She didn't want me
at this wedding,
193
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:11,949
She didn't want me
at this wedding,
194
00:08:11,983 --> 00:08:15,452
but here I am with a bunch
of my idiot friends.
195
00:08:15,486 --> 00:08:17,288
This is gonna be great.
196
00:08:17,321 --> 00:08:20,124
Elaine? Oh!
197
00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:22,793
Oh, I am so happy to see you.
198
00:08:22,827 --> 00:08:25,796
You are?
Well, of course.
199
00:08:25,829 --> 00:08:28,299
No one else was even willing
to come to India.
200
00:08:28,332 --> 00:08:31,635
I mean, not even Pinter's
parents and they're Indian.
201
00:08:31,668 --> 00:08:34,305
Come on, Sue Ellen,
you don't wear a bra,
202
00:08:34,338 --> 00:08:36,473
you're tall.
We hate each other.
203
00:08:36,507 --> 00:08:41,145
Elaine, I know.
I know we've had our problems,
204
00:08:41,178 --> 00:08:41,186
but I want you to be my maid
of honor and my best friend.
205
00:08:41,186 --> 00:08:45,649
but I want you to be my maid
of honor and my best friend.
206
00:08:45,682 --> 00:08:47,851
Heh.
All right, I guess.
[GIGGLES]
207
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,990
Oh, this is my fiancé.
Pinter, say hello.
208
00:08:54,024 --> 00:08:55,358
Hello.
209
00:08:55,391 --> 00:08:58,529
Peter.
Oh, no. It's "Pinter."
210
00:08:58,562 --> 00:09:00,531
Does anyone wanna use
the bathroom?
211
00:09:00,564 --> 00:09:04,000
Oh, no, no. We're good.
Let's get going, all right.
212
00:09:04,034 --> 00:09:05,068
Watch it, funny man.
213
00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:07,838
Elaine,
214
00:09:07,871 --> 00:09:10,340
did you notice George was acting
strange the whole flight?
215
00:09:10,373 --> 00:09:11,186
No, what? Like what?
Strange? No.
216
00:09:11,186 --> 00:09:14,344
No, what? Like what?
Strange? No.
217
00:09:14,377 --> 00:09:17,680
Uh-huh. Hey, look what
they had on the plane.
218
00:09:17,713 --> 00:09:19,215
Schnapps.
219
00:09:19,249 --> 00:09:20,383
Ooh.
220
00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:22,185
[♪]
221
00:09:22,218 --> 00:09:25,055
Come on, come on.
222
00:09:26,222 --> 00:09:27,857
Yes. There's one.
223
00:09:27,890 --> 00:09:31,861
I wish I don't drop dead!
224
00:09:31,894 --> 00:09:33,196
MAN:
Hey, shut up up there.
225
00:09:33,229 --> 00:09:35,698
You shut up.
Ah, drop dead.
226
00:09:35,731 --> 00:09:37,733
[♪]
227
00:09:41,103 --> 00:09:41,186
GEORGE:
Hello, friend.
228
00:09:41,186 --> 00:09:42,204
GEORGE:
Hello, friend.
229
00:09:42,237 --> 00:09:43,539
Enjoying the flight?
230
00:09:43,573 --> 00:09:46,075
Coach to India.
Only way to go.
231
00:09:46,108 --> 00:09:49,412
Good one. Very funny.
232
00:09:49,445 --> 00:09:50,746
You're very funny, Jerry.
233
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:52,548
That's what I always
tell people.
234
00:09:52,582 --> 00:09:54,083
Jerry Seinfeld's a funny guy.
235
00:09:56,251 --> 00:09:58,553
Are you all right?
Of course I'm all right.
236
00:09:58,588 --> 00:10:02,091
I'm here with my girl. Nina.
237
00:10:02,124 --> 00:10:03,592
And what better way
to pass the time
238
00:10:03,625 --> 00:10:05,928
than gabbing
with my best friend.
239
00:10:05,961 --> 00:10:09,398
With whom there are no secrets.
240
00:10:09,431 --> 00:10:10,765
Like this:
241
00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:11,186
since fourth grade.
242
00:10:11,186 --> 00:10:11,934
since fourth grade.
243
00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:14,103
Hey, didn't I beat you up
in fourth grade?
244
00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:16,738
Funny guy.
245
00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:18,073
Right here.
246
00:10:18,107 --> 00:10:21,743
By the way, you never
said anything to George
247
00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:23,078
about Jerry and me, did you?
248
00:10:23,112 --> 00:10:25,780
Oh, please, it's in the vault.
249
00:10:25,814 --> 00:10:27,416
[GEORGE CHUCKLES]
250
00:10:27,449 --> 00:10:30,585
GEORGE:
Jerry Seinfeld's a funny guy.
251
00:10:30,619 --> 00:10:31,953
[♪]
252
00:10:34,789 --> 00:10:36,958
Hey, what time is it?
253
00:10:36,991 --> 00:10:38,927
You just asked me
two minutes ago.
254
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,929
[♪]
255
00:10:40,962 --> 00:10:41,186
Hey, what time is it?
256
00:10:41,186 --> 00:10:42,764
Hey, what time is it?
257
00:10:42,797 --> 00:10:43,998
I'm not wearing a watch.
258
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:47,602
Is this tooth chipped?
259
00:10:47,636 --> 00:10:50,271
Yeah. How'd you do that?
260
00:10:50,304 --> 00:10:52,306
I have no idea.
261
00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:53,608
[♪]
262
00:10:53,642 --> 00:10:54,643
ELAINE:
Watch this.
263
00:11:01,816 --> 00:11:03,484
Oh, God.
264
00:11:05,486 --> 00:11:07,121
So Jerry and Nina, huh?
265
00:11:07,155 --> 00:11:08,322
Uh-uh.
266
00:11:10,658 --> 00:11:11,186
I'm not gonna tell you
any more things.
267
00:11:11,186 --> 00:11:14,996
I'm not gonna tell you
any more things.
268
00:11:17,531 --> 00:11:19,133
You already told me everything.
269
00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:21,469
Okey-dokey.
270
00:11:21,502 --> 00:11:22,503
[♪]
271
00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:26,307
We had a deal, Newman,
272
00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:28,509
and you were supposed
to give me your birthday wish,
273
00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:29,977
and now you've wasted it.
274
00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:32,646
Did I?
275
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,483
Newman, I'm bored.
276
00:11:35,516 --> 00:11:37,317
Does your girlfriend
have to be here?
277
00:11:37,350 --> 00:11:38,519
Does yours?
278
00:11:41,188 --> 00:11:43,490
I'm just hanging out in this
hellhole because of George.
279
00:11:43,524 --> 00:11:45,492
All right, come on, Newman.
You gotta help me.
280
00:11:45,525 --> 00:11:47,327
What am I gonna do about FDR?
281
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,663
Why don't you just
make another wish?
282
00:11:49,697 --> 00:11:51,765
And how am I gonna do that,
toots?
283
00:11:51,799 --> 00:11:54,601
What about a shooting star?
284
00:11:54,634 --> 00:11:57,770
That's perfect.
NEWMAN: Beauty...
285
00:11:57,805 --> 00:11:59,339
...and brains.
286
00:11:59,372 --> 00:12:00,841
[MURMURING]
287
00:12:00,874 --> 00:12:02,109
JERRY:
Oh, come on.
288
00:12:02,142 --> 00:12:03,977
You know he's a postman,
don't you?
289
00:12:06,279 --> 00:12:07,280
[♪]
290
00:12:07,314 --> 00:12:08,781
ELAINE:
Here's your plane ticket.
291
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,283
JERRY:
What are you talking about?
292
00:12:10,317 --> 00:12:11,186
Sue Ellen sends me an invitation
293
00:12:11,186 --> 00:12:12,919
Sue Ellen sends me an invitation
294
00:12:12,952 --> 00:12:15,788
one week before
her wedding in India.
295
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:16,956
I'll show her.
296
00:12:16,989 --> 00:12:18,525
By flying half way
around the world?
297
00:12:18,558 --> 00:12:20,593
Spite never sleeps.
298
00:12:20,627 --> 00:12:24,030
Especially when you got
a layover in Sarajevo.
299
00:12:24,063 --> 00:12:25,865
Hey.
Here.
300
00:12:25,898 --> 00:12:27,600
You're going to India
with us tomorrow.
301
00:12:27,634 --> 00:12:28,868
For how long?
Three days.
302
00:12:28,901 --> 00:12:30,703
Great.
Jerry, I gotta tell you,
303
00:12:30,737 --> 00:12:33,305
I had the best time
with that Nina last night.
304
00:12:33,339 --> 00:12:35,474
I think I'm in love
with her already.
305
00:12:35,508 --> 00:12:36,876
You are a great friend.
306
00:12:36,909 --> 00:12:38,344
A great, great friend.
307
00:12:41,147 --> 00:12:41,186
Kramer. Wanna borrow something?
You wanna eat? Come on in.
308
00:12:41,186 --> 00:12:43,549
Kramer. Wanna borrow something?
You wanna eat? Come on in.
309
00:12:43,582 --> 00:12:44,884
[MUTTERS]
Wanna go to India?
310
00:12:44,917 --> 00:12:47,720
I can't.
I'm gonna drop dead.
311
00:12:47,754 --> 00:12:49,321
Great. Nina could go, huh?
312
00:12:49,355 --> 00:12:50,890
Jerry, this is great.
313
00:12:50,923 --> 00:12:53,325
You and Elaine. Me and Nina.
314
00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:54,894
Kramer, wait up,
I'll go with you.
315
00:12:54,927 --> 00:12:56,862
I'm going to Newman's.
Great, I love Newman.
316
00:12:58,097 --> 00:13:00,466
Jerry seem a little weird
when I mentioned Nina?
317
00:13:00,499 --> 00:13:03,969
Nina? Nina? Nope.
Not weird. No. Nina.
318
00:13:04,002 --> 00:13:07,005
Why do you keep saying Nina?
I don't know. Nina.
319
00:13:07,038 --> 00:13:08,240
Nina!
320
00:13:08,274 --> 00:13:09,208
[GIGGLES]
321
00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:11,186
I'm gonna go grab a bite.
322
00:13:11,186 --> 00:13:12,844
I'm gonna go grab a bite.
323
00:13:12,878 --> 00:13:14,045
I'll meet you down there.
324
00:13:17,883 --> 00:13:19,050
Cereal. Cereal.
325
00:13:20,452 --> 00:13:21,620
Peach schnapps.
326
00:13:23,955 --> 00:13:25,023
Come on, Lomez.
327
00:13:25,056 --> 00:13:27,025
We're gonna be late
for the movie.
328
00:13:29,561 --> 00:13:30,662
You see, my dear,
329
00:13:30,696 --> 00:13:32,831
all certified mail
is registered,
330
00:13:32,864 --> 00:13:37,368
but registered mail
is not necessarily certified.
331
00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:40,605
I could listen to you
talk about mail all day.
332
00:13:40,638 --> 00:13:41,186
Anything you wish.
333
00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:42,440
Anything you wish.
334
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:45,776
I'll tell you a little secret
about zip codes:
335
00:13:45,811 --> 00:13:46,878
they're meaningless.
336
00:13:46,912 --> 00:13:47,879
[LAUGHS]
337
00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:50,048
Wish.
338
00:13:50,081 --> 00:13:51,049
Newman!
339
00:13:54,752 --> 00:13:56,121
Lomez, I'm leaving.
340
00:13:56,154 --> 00:13:57,655
[♪]
341
00:14:01,159 --> 00:14:02,427
[♪]
342
00:14:03,994 --> 00:14:07,365
ALL:
♪ And you smell like one too ♪
343
00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:09,300
[CHEERING]
344
00:14:09,334 --> 00:14:14,372
Make a wish, Newman. We've gotta
get back to work in three hours.
345
00:14:14,405 --> 00:14:16,574
Newman! Wait!
[GAGS]
346
00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:18,809
Kramer. I'm with people.
347
00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:21,646
Yeah, yeah,
and thanks for inviting me.
348
00:14:21,679 --> 00:14:23,313
I did invite you.
349
00:14:23,347 --> 00:14:26,551
Your invitation must have gotten
lost in the mail.
350
00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:27,818
[ALL LAUGHING]
351
00:14:27,852 --> 00:14:28,921
[GRUNTING]
352
00:14:28,921 --> 00:14:29,253
[GRUNTING]
353
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:35,092
Look, Newman, I need your wish
to protect me from FDR.
354
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,928
Can't do. I'm on an unbelievable
birthday-wish hot streak.
355
00:14:37,962 --> 00:14:39,897
My last five birthday wishes
came true.
356
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:42,566
Come on. Look, I'll give you
my next birthday wish.
357
00:14:42,599 --> 00:14:45,402
Your next 50 wishes.
358
00:14:45,435 --> 00:14:46,736
Forty-eight.
359
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:48,238
Forty-nine.
Done.
360
00:14:48,272 --> 00:14:49,406
Sucker.
Sucker.
361
00:14:49,439 --> 00:14:52,109
All right, I'm back,
savages, back.
362
00:14:53,277 --> 00:14:54,778
I haven't made my wish yet.
363
00:14:55,445 --> 00:14:57,046
[INHALES HEAVILY]
364
00:15:02,619 --> 00:15:03,587
[INHALES HEAVILY]
365
00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:05,289
[♪]
366
00:15:06,790 --> 00:15:10,126
Well, this Mischke mishmash
is just getting worse.
Uh-huh.
367
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,462
I talked to the groom's parents
and it is so obvious
368
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,030
that they don't want me to go.
Sure.
369
00:15:14,063 --> 00:15:16,032
The reason she sent me
an invitation
Uh-huh.
370
00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:17,767
was so I'd send her a gift.
NINA: Jerry?
371
00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:20,469
You know, coffee grinder's nice
or a coffee maker.
372
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,639
Everyone likes coffee.
Maybe you should go get--
373
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:25,809
Oh, hi.
374
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,476
Hi.
375
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,921
I should--
Sure.
376
00:15:28,921 --> 00:15:29,145
I should--
Sure.
377
00:15:32,315 --> 00:15:33,316
Bye-bye.
Bye.
378
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,821
Who else you got back there?
379
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,157
Look, there was an awkward
moment in the conversation.
380
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,458
It never happened before.
381
00:15:42,491 --> 00:15:45,461
You slept with Nina.
What are you gonna tell George?
382
00:15:45,494 --> 00:15:46,995
Nothing. And neither will you.
383
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,497
George can never
know about this.
384
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,999
It'll crush him.
All right, all right,
385
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,168
I'll put it in the vault.
386
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,470
No good. Too many people
know the combination.
387
00:15:54,503 --> 00:15:55,671
What combination?
388
00:15:58,206 --> 00:15:58,921
Don't be ridiculous.
389
00:15:58,921 --> 00:16:00,208
Don't be ridiculous.
390
00:16:01,677 --> 00:16:04,179
Oh, my God, this drawer
is filled with Froot Loops.
391
00:16:04,212 --> 00:16:06,749
So what?
And milk.
392
00:16:06,782 --> 00:16:07,716
[♪]
393
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,155
Oh, jeez.
394
00:16:13,188 --> 00:16:14,189
JERRY:
Hello?
395
00:16:21,864 --> 00:16:23,365
[♪]
396
00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:27,602
ELAINE:
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Ranawat.
397
00:16:27,635 --> 00:16:28,921
Please.
398
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:29,271
Please.
399
00:16:29,304 --> 00:16:31,173
Call us Usha and Zubin.
400
00:16:31,206 --> 00:16:34,009
Well, Usha--
I'm Zubin.
401
00:16:34,042 --> 00:16:37,845
Anyway, your son is marrying
my friend, Sue Ellen Mischke--
402
00:16:37,879 --> 00:16:39,547
You're not going
to the wedding, are you?
403
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,516
Well--
Don't go.
404
00:16:41,549 --> 00:16:44,686
India is a dreadful,
dreadful place.
405
00:16:44,719 --> 00:16:48,022
You know, it's the only country
that still has the plague.
406
00:16:48,055 --> 00:16:50,892
I mean, the plague. Please.
407
00:16:52,226 --> 00:16:53,695
Here's the registry.
408
00:16:53,728 --> 00:16:57,465
Send her a gift and be glad
you did not have to go.
409
00:16:57,499 --> 00:16:58,921
Right. Don't go, send a gift?
410
00:16:58,921 --> 00:17:00,568
Right. Don't go, send a gift?
411
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:01,569
I think I understand.
412
00:17:03,070 --> 00:17:04,872
If I had to go to India,
413
00:17:04,906 --> 00:17:07,241
I wouldn't go to the bathroom
the entire trip.
414
00:17:07,274 --> 00:17:09,243
That's fantastic.
415
00:17:09,276 --> 00:17:11,913
And I'm not so crazy
about Manhattan either.
416
00:17:11,946 --> 00:17:14,849
[♪]
417
00:17:17,451 --> 00:17:19,386
Oh, you were gonna tell me
all about George.
418
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:21,422
Ah, just remember
when you see him tomorrow night
419
00:17:21,455 --> 00:17:22,890
to tell him
the waiter liked him.
420
00:17:22,924 --> 00:17:24,258
Really?
421
00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:26,260
Believe me.
422
00:17:26,293 --> 00:17:28,429
I forgot how much fun
it is hanging out with you.
423
00:17:28,462 --> 00:17:28,921
I know. You know,
we never had a bad conversation.
424
00:17:28,921 --> 00:17:31,598
I know. You know,
we never had a bad conversation.
425
00:17:31,632 --> 00:17:32,899
I know. No awkward pauses.
426
00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:35,202
Probably the reason
we never fooled around.
427
00:17:37,604 --> 00:17:38,805
Yeah.
428
00:17:40,774 --> 00:17:41,875
Probably the reason.
429
00:17:48,815 --> 00:17:50,317
[♪]
430
00:17:52,152 --> 00:17:53,787
Are you dense?
431
00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:57,223
I said,
I wanted you to drop dead.
432
00:17:58,892 --> 00:17:58,921
Now, drop dead.
433
00:17:58,921 --> 00:18:00,661
Now, drop dead.
434
00:18:04,731 --> 00:18:06,299
I knew it.
Stupid Jerry.
435
00:18:06,332 --> 00:18:07,433
[♪]
436
00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:09,302
Kramer,
I know what I'm talking about.
437
00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:11,772
There's no way FDR
wants you to drop dead.
438
00:18:11,805 --> 00:18:15,475
But you have--
Just go back and ask him again.
439
00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:16,977
That's right.
440
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:19,812
My birthday wish
was that you drop dead.
441
00:18:19,845 --> 00:18:20,981
Well, why?
442
00:18:21,014 --> 00:18:22,648
I have my reasons.
443
00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:24,117
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
444
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:26,652
If you make a birthday wish
out loud it doesn't come true.
445
00:18:26,686 --> 00:18:28,921
That's just a silly
superstition.
446
00:18:28,921 --> 00:18:29,255
That's just a silly
superstition.
447
00:18:31,857 --> 00:18:32,758
[♪]
448
00:18:33,993 --> 00:18:38,130
Hey, FDR wants me to drop dead.
449
00:18:38,163 --> 00:18:39,164
FDR?
450
00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:41,000
Yeah, Franklin Delano
Romanowski.
451
00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:42,502
I go to his birthday party
452
00:18:42,535 --> 00:18:44,236
and just before he blew out
his candles
453
00:18:44,269 --> 00:18:46,005
he gives me this look.
454
00:18:46,038 --> 00:18:47,640
Stink eye?
Crook eye?
455
00:18:47,673 --> 00:18:49,208
Evil eye.
456
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,845
Everybody's cranky
on their birthday.
457
00:18:52,878 --> 00:18:55,014
Oh, it's a bad day.
You got everyone in your house,
458
00:18:55,047 --> 00:18:56,816
you're thinking,
"These are my friends?"
459
00:18:56,849 --> 00:18:58,383
Everyday is my birthday.
460
00:19:00,052 --> 00:19:03,355
Well, I can't have this hanging
over my head. It's bad mojo.
461
00:19:03,388 --> 00:19:05,357
[WHIMPERS]
462
00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,192
Hi.
463
00:19:08,727 --> 00:19:11,530
You're not gonna believe
what I got in the mail.
464
00:19:11,563 --> 00:19:14,033
Invitation to Sue Ellen
Mischke's wedding.
465
00:19:14,066 --> 00:19:16,835
At least the wedding gown
will give her some support.
466
00:19:16,868 --> 00:19:18,370
Not the point.
467
00:19:18,403 --> 00:19:22,274
The wedding is in one week.
I got this today.
468
00:19:22,307 --> 00:19:24,876
So you think it's a non-vite.
It's an un-vitation.
469
00:19:24,909 --> 00:19:28,380
Hey, are you getting taller?
Timberlands.
470
00:19:28,413 --> 00:19:28,921
Ah.
471
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:30,282
Ah.
472
00:19:30,315 --> 00:19:33,352
Hey, look at this.
"Pinter Ranawat"?
473
00:19:33,385 --> 00:19:34,386
Wonder if he's related
474
00:19:34,419 --> 00:19:36,054
to the guy I dated,
Peter Ranawat.
475
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,722
It's probably like Smith
over there.
476
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,726
Jerry, would you make the call?
What call?
477
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,128
He wants me to set him up
with this girl Nina Stengle.
478
00:19:44,162 --> 00:19:46,898
Oh, the great conversation girl.
479
00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:48,399
The one you think
can replace me.
480
00:19:48,432 --> 00:19:50,401
I was kidding when I said that.
481
00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:51,636
Told me the same thing.
482
00:19:51,670 --> 00:19:53,571
Nina, hi, it's Jerry.
483
00:19:53,605 --> 00:19:55,539
You're sure you never
slept with her?
484
00:19:55,573 --> 00:19:56,708
Perfect.
485
00:19:56,741 --> 00:19:58,921
Hey, how about my friend George,
quite a guy, huh?
486
00:19:58,921 --> 00:20:00,144
Hey, how about my friend George,
quite a guy, huh?
487
00:20:00,178 --> 00:20:02,246
Something's not sitting right.
488
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,983
I'll have the clams casino.
Get out of here.
489
00:20:05,016 --> 00:20:06,750
Chef recommends.
490
00:20:08,186 --> 00:20:10,254
Do you think she likes me?
Sure.
491
00:20:10,288 --> 00:20:12,756
How come nothing ever happened
between you and Nina?
492
00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:14,825
Is there a problem with her?
Is she a man?
493
00:20:14,858 --> 00:20:16,994
Are you?
494
00:20:17,028 --> 00:20:18,429
Then what's the reason?
495
00:20:18,462 --> 00:20:19,930
We were too compatible.
496
00:20:19,963 --> 00:20:21,999
Our conversations
were so engrossing.
497
00:20:22,032 --> 00:20:24,668
How engrossing?
If we had a problem with Elaine
498
00:20:24,702 --> 00:20:26,537
we could bring in Nina
and not lose a step.
499
00:20:28,138 --> 00:20:28,921
[CHUCKLES]
500
00:20:28,921 --> 00:20:29,440
[CHUCKLES]
501
00:20:29,473 --> 00:20:32,876
You don't have a replacement
lined up for me, do you?
502
00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:37,615
Anyway, like I was saying,
503
00:20:37,648 --> 00:20:40,283
I couldn't make the transition
from conversation to sex.
504
00:20:40,317 --> 00:20:42,620
There were no awkward pauses.
I need an awkward pause.
505
00:20:42,653 --> 00:20:45,288
I'm all awkward pauses.
Fix me up with her.
506
00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:47,290
Well, wait a minute.
507
00:20:47,324 --> 00:20:49,426
Nina just saw me
in my Timberlands.
508
00:20:49,459 --> 00:20:51,962
Now I have to wear them
every time I see her.
Why?
509
00:20:51,995 --> 00:20:53,696
In any other shoe,
I lose two inches.
510
00:20:53,731 --> 00:20:54,965
I can't have a drop-down.
511
00:20:54,998 --> 00:20:57,034
We're eye to eye.
I can't go eye to chin.
512
00:20:57,067 --> 00:20:58,921
So you're gonna wear them
no matter what the situation?
513
00:20:58,921 --> 00:20:59,436
So you're gonna wear them
no matter what the situation?
514
00:20:59,469 --> 00:21:03,306
In every situation.
No matter how silly I look.
515
00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:05,908
Tastes a little funky.
I'm sure it's fine.
516
00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:09,146
[♪]
517
00:21:09,179 --> 00:21:10,813
ALL:
♪ ...to you ♪
518
00:21:10,847 --> 00:21:12,315
KRAMER:
Woo!
519
00:21:12,349 --> 00:21:14,016
Go on, make a wish,
make a wish.
520
00:21:17,354 --> 00:21:18,255
[INHALES HEAVILY]
521
00:21:19,822 --> 00:21:21,324
[ALL CHEERING]
522
00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,828
[♪]
523
00:21:25,862 --> 00:21:27,497
Ah, this is the kind of day
524
00:21:27,530 --> 00:21:28,921
that almost makes you feel
good to be alive.
525
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,333
that almost makes you feel
good to be alive.
526
00:21:31,367 --> 00:21:32,334
New Timberlands?
527
00:21:32,368 --> 00:21:33,570
Yeah, and a whole new me.
528
00:21:33,603 --> 00:21:35,638
I'm up two inches
on these babies.
Really?
529
00:21:35,672 --> 00:21:37,974
5'8". 5'7".
530
00:21:38,007 --> 00:21:40,009
Jerry.
Nina.
531
00:21:40,042 --> 00:21:41,343
Hi.
It's been years.
532
00:21:41,377 --> 00:21:43,012
Yeah.
George, this is Nina.
533
00:21:43,045 --> 00:21:45,514
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
534
00:21:46,382 --> 00:21:47,549
[♪]
535
00:21:53,222 --> 00:21:54,523
India?
536
00:21:54,556 --> 00:21:55,691
[SCOFFS]
537
00:21:55,724 --> 00:21:56,692
Yeah, right.
538
00:21:56,725 --> 00:21:58,360
I'm going to India.
539
00:21:58,394 --> 00:21:58,921
[♪]
540
00:21:58,921 --> 00:22:00,062
[♪]
541
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:06,302
[♪]
542
00:22:08,404 --> 00:22:10,539
...and they call it
the World Wide Web.
543
00:22:10,572 --> 00:22:12,040
You can e-mail anyone.
544
00:22:12,073 --> 00:22:13,875
What are you, a scientist?
545
00:22:13,909 --> 00:22:16,545
Ah. Gotta go.
Ah.
546
00:22:16,578 --> 00:22:18,414
It was great talking.
Great talking to you.
547
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:21,817
What the hell is e-mail?
548
00:22:23,419 --> 00:22:25,053
How was the date?
Pretty good.
549
00:22:25,086 --> 00:22:26,688
I think she might be the one.
550
00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:29,224
[GEORGE "OOHS"]
551
00:22:29,257 --> 00:22:30,726
Oh, French fries.
George.
552
00:22:30,759 --> 00:22:33,447
Baked potato. Sorry.
553
00:22:33,447 --> 00:22:34,362
Baked potato. Sorry.
554
00:22:34,395 --> 00:22:37,733
Yeah, you stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
555
00:22:37,766 --> 00:22:41,236
Oh, hey, hey.
Yeah. Check it out.
556
00:22:41,269 --> 00:22:44,405
Man, it's packing tight.
557
00:22:44,439 --> 00:22:46,307
Why are you bringing
snowballs in here for?
558
00:22:46,341 --> 00:22:48,709
I need some water.
Ice it up, nice and hard.
559
00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:50,245
Then when you throw it:
560
00:22:50,278 --> 00:22:52,413
Oh, look, there's my friend FDR.
561
00:22:52,447 --> 00:22:54,749
I'm gonna nail him
in the back of the head.
562
00:22:54,782 --> 00:22:55,950
It's gonna be great.
563
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:03,447
Hi, Elaine.
Hey.
564
00:23:03,447 --> 00:23:03,591
Hi, Elaine.
Hey.
565
00:23:03,624 --> 00:23:07,027
Hey. Let's go someplace else.
Okay, Peter?
566
00:23:08,263 --> 00:23:09,630
[♪]
567
00:23:17,805 --> 00:23:18,939
Hey, how you doing?
568
00:23:18,973 --> 00:23:21,942
Oh, hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld.
I'm moving in.
569
00:23:22,004 --> 00:23:24,104
Saw your name on the buzzer.
You must be Kessler.
570
00:23:24,137 --> 00:23:26,470
No, actually, it's Kramer.
Oh.
571
00:23:26,504 --> 00:23:28,637
You need any help or--?
No, thanks.
572
00:23:28,670 --> 00:23:30,470
But I ordered a pizza,
you want some of it?
573
00:23:30,504 --> 00:23:33,137
No, no, no. I couldn't impose.
574
00:23:33,170 --> 00:23:33,447
Why not?
575
00:23:33,447 --> 00:23:34,470
Why not?
576
00:23:34,504 --> 00:23:36,970
We're neighbors.
What's mine is yours.
577
00:23:39,570 --> 00:23:40,537
Really?
578
00:23:40,570 --> 00:23:42,704
[♪]
579
00:23:42,737 --> 00:23:44,337
ELAINE:
Good night, Jugdish.
39299
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