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1
00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:04,566
Gum is one of
the weirdest human inventions.
2
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,966
It's not a liquid. It's not
a solid. It's not a food.
3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,033
What is it?
It isn't really anything.
4
00:00:11,066 --> 00:00:14,500
You know, I mean, it's like
a stationary bike for your jaw.
5
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,000
Remember when you were in
school,
6
00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:18,633
and teachers would get
all riled up
7
00:00:18,666 --> 00:00:20,000
if they caught you with gum?
8
00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:22,166
When you're a kid, you think,
"What is the big deal?"
9
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,633
But as an adult,
I can understand it
10
00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:24,966
because when you're chewing gum
11
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,200
you don't look like you're
12
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:28,466
too thrilled with anything
anybody has to say.
13
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,000
"Oh, World War II, that was
an important historical event?
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,133
"Oh, World War II, that was
an important historical event?
15
00:00:31,166 --> 00:00:32,600
"Yeah, I'm sure.
16
00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:40,066
"They landed a man
on the moon in 1969?
17
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:41,833
"Yeah, right.
18
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,233
Yeah, I buy that, teach."
19
00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:53,066
Do you think she's happy?
20
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:54,133
Who?
21
00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,500
The cashier.
22
00:00:56,733 --> 00:00:57,700
Ruthie Cohen?
23
00:00:57,733 --> 00:00:59,033
You know her name?
24
00:00:59,066 --> 00:01:00,300
Sure.
25
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,866
I don't think I've ever
spoken to her.
26
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,533
Maybe that's why
she's happy.
27
00:01:05,033 --> 00:01:07,300
Good morning, gentlemen.
28
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,733
What is this?
29
00:01:08,766 --> 00:01:13,200
Well, it's the latest offering
from the Alex Theater.
30
00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:15,900
That stinky
old movie house?
31
00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:16,630
Yeah, you should smell it now.
32
00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:17,700
Yeah, you should smell it now.
33
00:01:17,733 --> 00:01:19,233
We fixed up the place.
34
00:01:19,266 --> 00:01:20,566
What? Spartacus?
35
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,433
Well, it's
a rare archival print.
36
00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:29,066
Twelve extra minutes,
full wide-screen CinemaScope.
37
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,466
And if you come
to the 1:00 show,
38
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:33,666
you can hear Jeffrey Haarwood.
39
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:34,666
Jeffrey who?
40
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:36,300
Haarwood.
41
00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:39,400
He was the assistant
wardrobe man on Spartacus.
42
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,233
He has some fascinating
insights into the production.
43
00:01:42,266 --> 00:01:46,133
Why would I spend $7 to see
a movie that I can watch on TV?
44
00:01:46,166 --> 00:01:46,630
Well, why go to
a fine restaurant
45
00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:47,866
Well, why go to
a fine restaurant
46
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,400
when you can just stick
somethin' in the microwave?
47
00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:52,800
Why go to the park
and fly a kite
48
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:56,400
when you can just
pop a pill?
49
00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,633
Listen, you guys haven't seen
Lloyd Braun, have you?
50
00:01:58,666 --> 00:01:59,700
I'm meeting him here.
51
00:01:59,733 --> 00:02:01,366
Lloyd? What do you
have to meet him for?
52
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,166
Well, he's using his connections
in the mayor's office
53
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,566
to get the theater
landmark status.
54
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,866
I thought he screwed up
the Dinkins campaign.
55
00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:12,533
Well, he did. After that,
he had a nervous breakdown.
56
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:15,333
Had to spend a few months
in an institution.
57
00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:16,630
Really?
58
00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:16,900
Really?
59
00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:18,733
Yeah, but he's doing
a lot better now.
60
00:02:18,766 --> 00:02:19,966
I've taken him under my wing.
61
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,533
Oh, then I'm not worried.
62
00:02:21,566 --> 00:02:23,700
But he still needs
all of our support.
63
00:02:23,733 --> 00:02:24,866
You know, when he gets here,
64
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,533
treat him like he's
one of the gang, huh?
65
00:02:26,566 --> 00:02:27,966
Breakdown, huh?
66
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:28,966
Hey, Kramer.
67
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,233
Oh, hey, Lloyd.
Hey, buddy.
68
00:02:30,266 --> 00:02:32,033
How you doing?
Hi, Jerry.
Lloyd.
69
00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:33,033
George.
70
00:02:33,066 --> 00:02:35,000
Hello, Lloyd.
71
00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:36,466
How you doin'?
72
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,800
Well, he's doin' fine,
George.
73
00:02:38,833 --> 00:02:39,833
Gum?
74
00:02:39,866 --> 00:02:41,400
That's an interesting package.
75
00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:43,200
Yeah, it's from China.
76
00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:44,500
Go ahead, try a piece.
77
00:02:44,533 --> 00:02:45,666
Tell me that's not
78
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:46,630
the most delicious
gum you've ever tasted.
79
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:47,733
the most delicious
gum you've ever tasted.
80
00:02:47,766 --> 00:02:50,166
Yes, yes, we shall all
try a piece
81
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,866
and tell you
how delicious it is.
82
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:53,866
George?
83
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,833
I don't chew gum.
84
00:02:55,866 --> 00:02:57,000
Mmm.
It's different.
85
00:02:57,033 --> 00:02:58,200
Where'd you get it?
86
00:02:58,233 --> 00:03:00,166
A friend of mine in Chinatown
gave it to me.
87
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,966
If you want, I can ask him
where he got it.
88
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,133
Nah, don't bother.
89
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:04,566
It's no problem.
I don't want it.
90
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,000
Jerry, Lloyd says
it's no problem.
91
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:10,866
He's capable
of locating the gum.
92
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,833
All right.
93
00:03:12,866 --> 00:03:15,733
Boy, this is--
This is delicious. Mmm.
94
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,733
[♪]
95
00:03:21,933 --> 00:03:23,233
GEORGE:
You know what?
96
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:25,566
I think this Ruthie Cohen
gave me the wrong change.
97
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,900
Didn't I pay with a 20?
I'm sure I paid with a 20.
98
00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:28,900
Hey.
99
00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:30,300
I think I finally figured out
100
00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:32,566
what the flavor is in this gum.
101
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,966
It's a little lo mein-y.
102
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,000
What kind is that?
103
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,800
It's Chinese gum
Lloyd Braun gave me.
104
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:41,733
Lloyd Braun.
How's he doin'?
105
00:03:41,766 --> 00:03:43,233
After Dinkins
lost the election,
106
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,133
he had a complete
nervous breakdown.
107
00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:46,630
They had to lock him up.
108
00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:47,133
They had to lock him up.
109
00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:49,233
That's around the same time
I broke up with Lloyd.
110
00:03:49,266 --> 00:03:50,566
You-- You don't think that I had
111
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,733
anything to do
with his breakdown, do you?
112
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,333
I remember when
we parted company,
113
00:03:54,366 --> 00:03:56,400
I was babbling
incoherently for months.
114
00:03:56,433 --> 00:03:57,866
Yeah, well, I got
news for you.
115
00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:59,800
The whole time that
I was growing up,
116
00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:01,400
all I ever heard
from my mother was:
117
00:04:01,433 --> 00:04:04,133
"Why can't you be more
like that Lloyd Braun?"
118
00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:05,866
In the end Lloyd
became more like you.
119
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:07,500
[SNAPS FINGERS]
120
00:04:07,533 --> 00:04:08,566
Right. Gotta get going.
121
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,200
You coming with us
to Spartacus?
122
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,533
I gotta deliver Christmas
presents to my parents.
123
00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:13,833
Thought they were
out of town?
124
00:04:13,866 --> 00:04:16,133
Why do you think I'm going now?
125
00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:16,630
[♪]
126
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:17,333
[♪]
127
00:04:19,866 --> 00:04:20,833
Georgie!
128
00:04:20,866 --> 00:04:22,366
Hey, Mr. Lazzari.
129
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,000
Back in
the old neighborhood, huh?
130
00:04:24,033 --> 00:04:26,566
Yeah, yeah, just delivering
some presents to my folks.
131
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,900
Oh, snazzy car.
132
00:04:28,933 --> 00:04:30,133
LeBaron?
133
00:04:30,166 --> 00:04:31,966
Yeah, '83.
134
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,833
It used to belong to Jon Voight.
135
00:04:33,866 --> 00:04:35,033
The actor, right?
136
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,833
Something like that.
137
00:04:36,866 --> 00:04:38,333
Do you mind if I
look under the hood?
138
00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:40,633
No, no, no, go ahead, Pop.
You always knew your cars.
139
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:42,133
Yeah.
140
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:44,533
LAZZARI:
Oh, Deena, Deena.
Deena, look who's here.
141
00:04:44,566 --> 00:04:46,630
George Costanza,
is that you?
142
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:47,166
George Costanza,
is that you?
143
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,733
Hey, Deena, come on,
give us a hug.
144
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:49,900
Oh, my gosh.
145
00:04:49,933 --> 00:04:52,000
You look as pretty
as you did back in high school.
146
00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:54,133
Boy, those were
some crazy times.
147
00:04:54,166 --> 00:04:55,133
Yeah, yeah.
148
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:56,233
Speaking of crazy,
149
00:04:56,266 --> 00:04:58,733
did you hear about Lloyd Braun?
150
00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,033
The Alex was built in 1922
151
00:05:02,066 --> 00:05:05,033
during the golden age
of movie palaces.
152
00:05:05,066 --> 00:05:12,000
Minor restorations
in 1941, '47, '52, '58, '63
153
00:05:12,033 --> 00:05:16,166
and currently to our
present period of time.
154
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:16,630
You're really gettin'
into this.
Yes, I am.
155
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:18,333
You're really gettin'
into this.
Yes, I am.
156
00:05:18,366 --> 00:05:19,566
The icing on that cake would be
157
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,233
getting that landmark status
from the city.
158
00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:25,566
We're hoping Lloyd Braun
can pull a few strings.
159
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,833
Oh, can Lloyd
really do that?
160
00:05:26,866 --> 00:05:29,500
Lloyd Braun can do anything
he puts his mind to.
161
00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:30,833
He's fine, Jerry.
162
00:05:30,866 --> 00:05:32,500
And you should say
hello to him, Elaine.
163
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,566
Lloyd is here? No,
I'd rather--
Right there.
164
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:35,733
Hi, Elaine.
165
00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:38,666
Lloyd, yes. Hello.
166
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,066
Did Kramer
tell you?
167
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:43,066
We reserved some special seats
so we can all sit together.
168
00:05:44,733 --> 00:05:46,033
Oh, well, ac--
169
00:05:46,066 --> 00:05:46,630
Uh, actually,
Lloyd,
170
00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:47,733
Uh, actually,
Lloyd,
171
00:05:47,766 --> 00:05:50,500
Jerry and I have to sit
in the front row
172
00:05:50,533 --> 00:05:52,066
because, uh-- Because--
173
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:54,300
Because he--
He forgot his glasses.
174
00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:57,466
So thanks
for getting us--
175
00:05:57,500 --> 00:06:00,000
You know, we'll see you
afterwards. Come on.
176
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,900
That was odd.
177
00:06:03,933 --> 00:06:07,000
Am I crazy, or does Jerry
not wear glasses?
178
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,333
You're not crazy.
Jerry does wear glasses.
179
00:06:10,366 --> 00:06:12,733
He just forgot 'em,
that's all.
180
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,666
Not crazy.
181
00:06:17,733 --> 00:06:19,700
We're all the way
in the front row?
182
00:06:19,733 --> 00:06:21,466
Why couldn't we sit
in the special seats?
183
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,133
I'm sorry, but
I didn't want Lloyd
184
00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:24,800
thinking I was
leading him on again.
185
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:27,633
Seeing him made me feel
very uncomfortable.
186
00:06:27,666 --> 00:06:31,200
[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]
187
00:06:32,766 --> 00:06:35,566
No, you don't wanna be
uncomfortable.
188
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,133
Poor Lloyd.
189
00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:40,400
I know.
Completely bonkers.
190
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:44,066
I'm sorry. I can't be so flip
about this kind of thing.
191
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:46,500
You know,
after what happened to Pop?
192
00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:48,566
Pop?
193
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,633
What happened to Pop?
194
00:06:50,666 --> 00:06:52,566
I thought you heard.
195
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,466
He had a nervous breakdown
last year.
196
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,233
That's why I'm
taking care of him.
197
00:06:56,266 --> 00:06:58,733
Oh, I tell you. They don't build
them like this anymore.
198
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:02,900
He-- He doesn't have
the auto shop anymore?
199
00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:04,000
It was too much for him.
200
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,366
Um, I gotta go.
201
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:08,500
What?
202
00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:10,900
I just remembered,
I gotta be some place.
203
00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:13,233
All right, that's enough, Pop.
Put down the wrench.
204
00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:16,630
Ooh!
205
00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:16,866
Ooh!
206
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,566
[ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING]
207
00:07:31,766 --> 00:07:34,700
[ENGINE RASPING]
208
00:07:38,566 --> 00:07:41,866
Pop! Pop!
209
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:44,033
LLOYD:
It's a great movie, huh?
210
00:07:44,066 --> 00:07:45,666
Sorry you forgot
those glasses.
211
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:46,630
I don't know
what I was thinkin'.
212
00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:47,400
I don't know
what I was thinkin'.
213
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:48,700
How did you like that gum?
214
00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:49,700
Ah...
215
00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:51,533
He loved it.
216
00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:52,666
Kramer, you know what?
217
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,400
There isn't a light
in the ladies' room.
218
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,566
Yeah, it's being repaired.
219
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,166
Oh, oh, God.
220
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,166
You all right?
221
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:04,700
Ugh. I sat too close
to the screen.
222
00:08:04,733 --> 00:08:07,166
I just gotta stretch out
in a hot bath.
223
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,533
It was nice see you again,
Lloyd.
224
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,500
[♪]
225
00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:22,833
Officer, officer,
is there some reason
226
00:08:22,866 --> 00:08:25,000
this man has to always
be using a hose.
227
00:08:25,033 --> 00:08:26,833
I mean, he's flooding
the sidewalk.
228
00:08:26,866 --> 00:08:27,833
It's a waste of water.
229
00:08:27,866 --> 00:08:30,000
Couldn't he just
use a broom?
230
00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:32,333
Lady, you sold me.
Hey,
231
00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:33,366
you with the hose.
232
00:08:38,366 --> 00:08:39,900
KRAMER:
Here, put these glasses on.
233
00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:41,066
Oh, what's this for?
234
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,733
Lloyd's going to be
here any minute.
235
00:08:42,766 --> 00:08:43,733
So what?
236
00:08:43,766 --> 00:08:46,133
Well, he thinks
you wear those.
237
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:46,630
They're from the lost and found
at the Alex.
238
00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:49,000
They're from the lost and found
at the Alex.
239
00:08:49,033 --> 00:08:51,566
This is ridiculous.
I'm not gonna put these on.
240
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,000
Oh, okay.
241
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,633
So he'll just think that
the two of you
242
00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:56,366
didn't sit with him
on purpose.
243
00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:00,000
Oh, yeah, that's very nice.
Very nice.
244
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,233
GEORGE:
Excuse me,
245
00:09:02,266 --> 00:09:04,666
I, uh-- I was in here
this morning, and uh--
246
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,900
I believe I paid you
with a $20 bill,
247
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:10,133
but you only gave me
change for a 10.
248
00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:11,200
I don't think so.
249
00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:12,633
Oh, I think so.
250
00:09:12,666 --> 00:09:14,033
And I can prove it.
251
00:09:14,066 --> 00:09:15,966
You see, I was doodling
on the bill and, uh--
252
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:16,630
So if you have a 20
in there with big lips on it...
253
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:19,566
So if you have a 20
in there with big lips on it...
254
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,866
well, that's mine.
255
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,866
Would you mind
opening up the register?
256
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:24,400
Not unless you buy something.
257
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,166
Okay.
258
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,833
Fine, I'll buy a pack of gum.
259
00:09:28,866 --> 00:09:30,666
LLOYD:
Hey, George.
260
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,333
Thought you didn't chew gum.
261
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:33,866
I don't.
262
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:34,900
Take a look.
263
00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:43,133
I know I gave it to you.
264
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,266
George, would you mind?
I'm kind of in a hurry.
265
00:09:47,866 --> 00:09:50,400
Fine. Fine.
Excuse me.
266
00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:52,066
You think
I'm gonna forget about this?
267
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,466
I haven't forgotten about this.
268
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:54,666
I don't forget that easily.
269
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:59,200
KRAMER:
Hey, Jerry, look who's here.
270
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:00,700
Oh, Lloyd.
271
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:01,700
How you doin'?
272
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:03,333
Got some more of that gum.
273
00:10:03,366 --> 00:10:04,666
Oh, the gum.
274
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,700
Yeah, let's all
enjoy a chew, huh?
275
00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:09,033
All right.
276
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,033
Ah, boy.
277
00:10:10,066 --> 00:10:11,400
Sit down.
278
00:10:11,433 --> 00:10:14,533
Yeah, now, see, this is what
the holidays are all about.
279
00:10:14,566 --> 00:10:16,630
Three buddies sittin' around,
chewing gum, huh?
280
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:17,466
Three buddies sittin' around,
chewing gum, huh?
281
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:21,466
KRAMER:
Mm-mm. Yeah.
282
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:25,400
So, you know, Lloyd, he thinks
he can get more of this.
283
00:10:25,433 --> 00:10:28,000
Well, Lloyd is a very
industrious fellow.
284
00:10:28,033 --> 00:10:29,066
I'm sure he can accomplish
285
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,800
anything he sets his mind to.
286
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,800
Actually, the importer's
right in Chinatown.
287
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,733
I'll introduce you to him.
You can get it whenever.
288
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,733
It's not necessary.
289
00:10:38,766 --> 00:10:40,966
Hey, Jerry, you know, Lloyd
wants to do you a favor.
290
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,500
I know that, Kramer.
291
00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:44,700
Well, if you don't want to--
292
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:46,166
No, sure, sure,
he wants to.
293
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:46,630
And it's very kind of you.
Yeah, Jerry, he appreciates it.
294
00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:49,500
And it's very kind of you.
Yeah, Jerry, he appreciates it.
295
00:10:49,533 --> 00:10:50,733
Don't you, Jerry?
296
00:10:50,766 --> 00:10:53,366
Yes, I do, Kramer.
297
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,333
So...
Yeah.
298
00:10:55,366 --> 00:10:57,033
How about
that Elaine today, huh?
299
00:10:57,066 --> 00:11:00,666
Oh, baby. What is that
all about, huh?
300
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,633
She was practically undressing
in front of me at the theater.
301
00:11:03,666 --> 00:11:04,833
I didn't see anything.
302
00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:07,833
Yeah, you really missed
a show, buddy. Woo!
303
00:11:07,866 --> 00:11:09,466
Ba-boom, ba-ba-ba-boom-ba.
304
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,333
Yeah.
305
00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:23,900
You're probably wondering
why I wanted to see you again.
306
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,200
Well, you know...
307
00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:26,233
[SCOFFS, SNORTS]
308
00:11:26,266 --> 00:11:30,633
It's understandable.
309
00:11:30,666 --> 00:11:32,166
I'm glad you feel that way.
310
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,866
Because since
my father's breakdown,
311
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:37,366
I've become very sensitive
to the warning signs.
312
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,633
Warning signs?
313
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:42,866
Nervousness, irritability,
paranoia.
314
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:44,966
What?
315
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,166
What are you
talking about?
316
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:46,630
I-I'm not the one
with the problem.
317
00:11:46,630 --> 00:11:48,066
I-I'm not the one
with the problem.
318
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,900
Lloyd Braun was
in the nuthouse, not me.
319
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:54,300
Yeah, taking pleasure
in the misfortunes of others.
320
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:55,800
All my friends do that.
321
00:11:55,833 --> 00:11:57,333
George, I'm only
trying to help.
322
00:11:57,366 --> 00:11:58,866
I'm-- I'm concerned.
323
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,600
[HORSE SNORTS]
George?
324
00:12:03,266 --> 00:12:04,333
Are you
listening to me?
325
00:12:04,366 --> 00:12:05,833
See that woman
on the horse?
326
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,733
She stole $20 from me.
327
00:12:10,766 --> 00:12:13,466
I might have gotten it back,
but Lloyd Braun interfered.
328
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,166
So again it all
comes back to Lloyd.
329
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:16,630
Hey. Hey, you!
Get back here!
330
00:12:16,630 --> 00:12:18,333
Hey. Hey, you!
Get back here!
331
00:12:18,366 --> 00:12:20,700
Don't gallop away!
I'm on to you!
332
00:12:24,066 --> 00:12:25,366
[♪]
333
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,233
JERRY:
So you're saying
she was on a horse.
334
00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:31,066
I'm telling you, that cashier
is riding horses on my money.
335
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,900
Well, here's what I propose.
336
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:35,033
Go down to the stables,
snoop around.
337
00:12:35,066 --> 00:12:36,333
See if any high-flying cashier
338
00:12:36,366 --> 00:12:39,933
has been throwing $20 bills
around with big lips.
339
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,233
Hey.
340
00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:44,333
Well, if it isn't
Chesty Larue.
341
00:12:44,366 --> 00:12:46,366
What?
342
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,866
I was chewing gum
with Lloyd Braun
343
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,533
and he was bragging
about the peepshow
344
00:12:49,566 --> 00:12:50,733
you gave him
at the Alex.
345
00:12:50,766 --> 00:12:53,201
Oh, God.
I lost a button.
346
00:12:53,201 --> 00:12:53,300
Oh, God.
I lost a button.
347
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:55,000
So my blouse was wide open.
348
00:12:55,033 --> 00:12:56,500
I must have left it
at the theater.
349
00:12:56,533 --> 00:12:57,900
Maybe it's in
the lost and found.
350
00:12:57,933 --> 00:12:59,533
Yeah, I know. I have to
go check it out.
351
00:12:59,566 --> 00:13:01,200
It's a beautiful button,
too, you know.
352
00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:03,000
It's antique ivory.
It was my mother's.
353
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,200
You know, the way you were
wolfing down that popcorn,
354
00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:06,400
maybe you ate it.
355
00:13:07,866 --> 00:13:08,900
KRAMER:
Mr. Haarwood,
356
00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:10,533
well, what
an unexpected surprise
357
00:13:10,566 --> 00:13:12,300
to have you back
at the Alex Theatre.
358
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,033
Well, I-I'm in a bit
of a quandary.
359
00:13:14,066 --> 00:13:16,133
I've misplaced my spectacles.
360
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:19,533
Well, let's look in
lost and found, shall we?
361
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,233
They're half-glasses.
362
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:22,866
Brown?
363
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:23,201
Yes. Yes.
364
00:13:23,201 --> 00:13:24,233
Yes. Yes.
365
00:13:24,266 --> 00:13:26,166
Yeah, uh...
366
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,633
Well, if they're
not in the box,
367
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:29,633
I'm-- I'm sure
they'll turn up soon.
368
00:13:29,666 --> 00:13:31,666
Listen, could you keep
an eye on the place?
369
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,900
I wanna go out and get
some paraffin wax
370
00:13:33,933 --> 00:13:36,733
and bring out the luster
of this vintage countertop, huh.
371
00:13:36,766 --> 00:13:37,900
Yes, certainly.
372
00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:40,566
Oh.
373
00:13:43,166 --> 00:13:45,000
Oh, my goodness.
374
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,000
What a spanking button.
375
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,600
[ENGINE STARTS, DIES]
376
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:53,201
[HORN HONKS]
377
00:13:53,201 --> 00:13:55,733
[HORN HONKS]
378
00:13:55,766 --> 00:13:58,700
All right. All right.
379
00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:00,333
[HORN HONKS LOUDER]
380
00:14:00,366 --> 00:14:02,000
Hang on. It's warmin' up.
381
00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:04,000
[HORN HONKING]
382
00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:06,733
You mother--
383
00:14:07,666 --> 00:14:10,333
Hey, what is your problem?
384
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,733
Oh, hello. It's you.
385
00:14:13,766 --> 00:14:16,466
Listen, lady, I've got six
minutes left on that meter,
386
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,666
and I'm not budging until
you admit you stole my $20.
387
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:21,466
Heh-heh-heh!
You're not so tough
388
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:23,201
when you're not on your horse,
are you, Ruthie?
389
00:14:23,201 --> 00:14:23,833
when you're not on your horse,
are you, Ruthie?
390
00:14:23,866 --> 00:14:25,433
Your car's on fire.
391
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,966
Merry Christmas.
392
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,100
Fire!
393
00:14:33,666 --> 00:14:34,900
Your hose!
Where's your hose?
394
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,833
Cop made me
disconnect it.
395
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,033
[GRUNTING]
396
00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:50,466
Jeez.
397
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,266
What happened to your car,
buddy?
398
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,766
The Jon Voight car
is no more.
399
00:14:56,933 --> 00:14:57,966
Well, don't you sweat it.
400
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,400
You can use my car
any time you want to.
401
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,466
No kiddin'?
402
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,233
No kiddin'.
403
00:15:03,266 --> 00:15:05,800
Hey, thanks.
I owe you a big one.
404
00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:08,133
Yeah, merry Christmas.
405
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:10,433
Whatever.
406
00:15:12,866 --> 00:15:14,166
JERRY:
All right. I'm here.
407
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,533
Where's Braun?
What, he's not here?
408
00:15:16,566 --> 00:15:19,500
Look, I'll go to
downtown to Chinatown
with him, but that is it.
409
00:15:19,533 --> 00:15:21,466
I'm gonna need
those glasses.
Why?
410
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,933
They're Jeffrey Haarwood's.
411
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:25,533
Here, try this pair.
412
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,466
Wow,
413
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:31,833
these are really strong.
414
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,066
Hey, gum-buddy.
Nice frames.
415
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,066
You ready to go?
416
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,900
Yeah, yeah.
417
00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:41,166
Oh, yeah,
he's all ready to go.
418
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,033
Anybody see Elaine today?
419
00:15:43,066 --> 00:15:44,700
Oh, yeah,
she called a little earlier.
420
00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:47,633
She's coming over
to check out lost and found.
421
00:15:47,666 --> 00:15:50,733
Maybe I'll stick around and see
what she's wearing today...
422
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:52,733
or not wearing,
if you know what I mean.
423
00:15:52,766 --> 00:15:53,201
Absolutely,
let's just stick around.
424
00:15:53,201 --> 00:15:54,900
Absolutely,
let's just stick around.
425
00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:56,966
I'll tell you what,
they're expecting us.
426
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,033
Let me just
grab a hot dog.
427
00:15:58,066 --> 00:15:59,200
Oh, yeah.
428
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,566
I'd like a hot dog, please.
429
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,366
Are you out of your mind?
430
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,066
Wh-wh-what's the problem here?
431
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:11,833
This hot dog's been
here since the silent era.
432
00:16:11,866 --> 00:16:13,466
You'd have to be insane
to eat it.
433
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,300
No, no, no, this man
is not insane.
434
00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,866
There's nothing wrong
with it or you.
435
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:18,566
Kramer, maybe--
No, no, I'll show you.
436
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,366
One hot dog, please.
437
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,066
Okay.
438
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:23,201
[SNIFFS]
Mm, doesn't that
smell good?
439
00:16:23,201 --> 00:16:24,000
[SNIFFS]
Mm, doesn't that
smell good?
440
00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:26,566
Yeah, here we go.
Oh, yeah.
441
00:16:27,866 --> 00:16:30,500
Mm. Oh, that's delicious.
442
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:33,566
This is a perfectly
sane food to eat.
443
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,700
Mm.
444
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:38,166
Interesting texture.
445
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,166
It's chewy.
446
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,533
I gotta get some air.
447
00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:55,866
[RETCHING]
448
00:17:05,366 --> 00:17:06,733
Excuse me. Excuse me.
449
00:17:06,766 --> 00:17:09,133
Weren't you told
to stop using that hose?
450
00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:11,000
How would you happen
to know that?
451
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:13,533
Well, um, I--
452
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,866
You're that lady that was
talking to the cops, aren't ya?
453
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:19,233
[STAMMERING]
454
00:17:19,266 --> 00:17:21,633
MAN:
Hey, Joe.
455
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,201
No, wait. You're soaking me.
You're soaking me.
456
00:17:23,201 --> 00:17:23,833
No, wait. You're soaking me.
You're soaking me.
457
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,833
Hey. Hey, everybody.
458
00:17:26,866 --> 00:17:28,866
Whoa, Elaine.
459
00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:33,166
Once again you've managed
to top yourself.
460
00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:36,666
Come on, Jerry,
let's go.
461
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,100
The car's out front.
462
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,866
Lloyd?
463
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,733
Lloyd?
464
00:17:54,766 --> 00:17:56,900
What is Lloyd's problem?
465
00:17:56,933 --> 00:17:58,233
Look, honey,
466
00:17:58,266 --> 00:18:00,300
I know you're trying to get
Lloyd to notice you,
467
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,066
but this is too much.
468
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:05,000
Parading around
in a wet T-shirt.
469
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:06,233
[SIGHS]
470
00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:09,666
I got sprayed with a hose.
471
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:12,000
Yeah, well, I'm sorry, but the
Alex is a family theater,
472
00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:13,833
not one of your swing joints.
473
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,900
So you want my father
to pay for this?
474
00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:23,201
Well, you saw him.
He was fiddling with the engine.
475
00:18:23,201 --> 00:18:25,366
Well, you saw him.
He was fiddling with the engine.
476
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,000
God knows what he did there.
477
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:30,000
And I suppose Lloyd Braun
had something to do with it too?
478
00:18:30,033 --> 00:18:32,166
No, not Lloyd Braun,
but the cashier.
479
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,466
What cashier?
480
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,066
You remember the woman
on the horse?
481
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,800
She wanted my spot.
482
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,366
To park her horse?
483
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,133
No, she wasn't on the horse.
484
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:42,200
So your car caught fire
485
00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:45,466
because of my father
and the woman on the horse.
486
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,366
That's right.
And him.
487
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,666
The man with the flowers?
488
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,666
Yeah, yeah, the flower guy.
Listen,
489
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:53,201
I know this all sounds
a little crazy, but--
490
00:18:53,201 --> 00:18:55,200
I know this all sounds
a little crazy, but--
491
00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:57,166
I can't believe it.
That's Jerry Seinfeld.
492
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,166
Who?
493
00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,700
My best friend.
He can explain this.
494
00:18:59,733 --> 00:19:01,666
GEORGE:
Jerry, Jerry.
495
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:02,700
Over here, Jerry.
496
00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:04,866
GEORGE:
It's me.
497
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:07,200
Where are you going? It's--
What are you--?
498
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,200
That was your best friend?
499
00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,700
Yeah, yeah.
But he doesn't wear glasses.
500
00:19:12,733 --> 00:19:14,166
That man was wearing glasses.
501
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,333
Don't you see? He was doing it
to fool Lloyd Braun.
502
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:19,766
[♪]
503
00:19:21,266 --> 00:19:22,500
[SIGHS]
504
00:19:22,533 --> 00:19:23,201
I'll run in
and get the gum.
505
00:19:23,201 --> 00:19:23,666
I'll run in
and get the gum.
506
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:25,633
All right.
507
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:26,833
Got any money?
508
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:35,500
Here.
509
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,500
I'll be back.
510
00:19:41,033 --> 00:19:44,866
Look, Deena, I know you think
I'm crazy, but I'm not.
511
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:47,833
This is just a-a series
of bad coincidences.
512
00:19:47,866 --> 00:19:49,033
I don't know, George.
513
00:19:49,066 --> 00:19:50,233
I don't know what to believe.
514
00:19:50,266 --> 00:19:52,466
Believe me.
515
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:53,201
I am not crazy.
516
00:19:53,201 --> 00:19:54,400
I am not crazy.
517
00:19:54,433 --> 00:19:56,300
Well...
518
00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:57,833
I guess it's possible.
519
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:03,300
[GRUNTS]
520
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:05,133
Here you go.
521
00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:06,133
All this?
522
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:07,133
Yeah.
523
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,333
A hundred dollars' worth.
524
00:20:08,366 --> 00:20:10,300
I gave you a hundred dollars?
525
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:11,800
You sure did.
526
00:20:11,833 --> 00:20:13,566
Am I crazy,
or is that a lot of gum?
527
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,300
It's a lot of gum.
528
00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:17,966
[♪]
529
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,233
KRAMER:
Mr. Haarwood,
I found your glasses.
530
00:20:20,266 --> 00:20:23,201
Oh, splendid, welcome
to the Institute
531
00:20:23,201 --> 00:20:23,866
Oh, splendid, welcome
to the Institute
532
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:27,866
for the Preservation of Motion
Picture Costumes and Wardrobes.
533
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,433
Ah, the I.P.M.P.C.W.
534
00:20:31,033 --> 00:20:33,400
We prefer to call it
the Institute.
535
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,500
Is that from Henry VIII?
536
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:35,566
Yes, yes, it is.
537
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,366
Well, you know,
we're screening that
538
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,733
tonight at the Alex.
539
00:20:38,766 --> 00:20:41,466
You think that I could wear
that to promote the theater?
540
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:42,866
Well, I'd love
to lend it to you,
541
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:44,733
but I doubt if it
would fit a man
542
00:20:44,766 --> 00:20:48,533
of your impressive
Raymond Massey-like physique.
543
00:20:48,566 --> 00:20:51,900
The only person who could
really fit into this costume
544
00:20:51,933 --> 00:20:53,201
would have to be
a short, stocky man
545
00:20:53,201 --> 00:20:54,066
would have to be
a short, stocky man
546
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:56,533
of somewhat
generous proportion.
547
00:20:56,566 --> 00:20:59,666
You don't say.
548
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,033
You're really helping
me out with this, buddy.
549
00:21:04,066 --> 00:21:05,366
Kids are gonna
be so thrilled.
550
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,366
Yeah, yeah.
551
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,033
You really cashed in
on that favor pretty quick.
552
00:21:10,066 --> 00:21:11,133
Remember, you are a king.
553
00:21:11,166 --> 00:21:13,300
You must project
a royal bearing.
554
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:16,133
Oh, I'm going to give you
a royal bearing.
555
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:17,633
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
556
00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,066
Let me get
a pack of gum.
557
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:23,201
Can I get
a pack of gum, please?
558
00:21:23,201 --> 00:21:23,400
Can I get
a pack of gum, please?
559
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,566
I beg your pardon,
Your Majesty,
560
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,566
but we don't accept bills
with lipstick on the president.
561
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,900
What?
562
00:21:33,933 --> 00:21:36,900
So I had it all along.
How do you like that?
563
00:21:36,933 --> 00:21:39,900
[SNORTS]
I guess I owe that cashier
an apology.
564
00:21:43,433 --> 00:21:45,900
Oh, my God.
565
00:21:45,933 --> 00:21:49,066
No, no, Deena, it's not
what you think.
566
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:50,200
This isn't mine.
567
00:21:50,233 --> 00:21:51,833
I got it from
the Institute.
568
00:21:51,866 --> 00:21:53,201
The Institute.
569
00:21:53,201 --> 00:21:54,066
The Institute.
570
00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:55,666
Dee--! Deena!
Deena!
571
00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:57,700
[♪]
572
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:07,625
Ah! Mr. Haarwood.
573
00:22:07,658 --> 00:22:10,291
Well, you certainly know
how to dress for a premiere.
574
00:22:10,325 --> 00:22:11,658
Well, thank you.
575
00:22:11,691 --> 00:22:14,091
Where--? Where is your friend,
King Henry?
576
00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,758
Oh, he ran away.
577
00:22:15,791 --> 00:22:17,291
Hey, Kramer.
578
00:22:17,325 --> 00:22:19,091
Let me talk to you.
579
00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:21,925
You know, that button
looks very familiar.
580
00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:24,191
Yes, it's-- It's antique ivory.
581
00:22:24,225 --> 00:22:25,758
I-I think that's my button.
582
00:22:25,791 --> 00:22:27,591
You know, I've been
looking all over for it.
583
00:22:27,625 --> 00:22:28,858
Did--? Did you find it here?
584
00:22:28,891 --> 00:22:30,425
Yes, it was in
the lost and found.
585
00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:31,425
Shall I undo it?
586
00:22:31,458 --> 00:22:33,191
Of course.
Thank you.
587
00:22:33,225 --> 00:22:33,739
HARWOOD:
I'm a little ticklish.
588
00:22:33,739 --> 00:22:35,358
HARWOOD:
I'm a little ticklish.
589
00:22:35,391 --> 00:22:37,658
[LAUGHS]
Tickle, tickle.
590
00:22:37,691 --> 00:22:40,158
We really gotta get
that Elaine a boyfriend.
591
00:22:40,191 --> 00:22:42,325
Oh, tell me about it.
40972
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