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1
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[♪]
2
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,600
[TIRES SQUEAL]
3
00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:11,833
Hey. Big news.
Hey.
4
00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:14,900
The dog problem has been solved.
5
00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:16,000
Really? What happened?
6
00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:18,166
Well, there's this rabbi
in my building--
7
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,333
You've met him.
He's a very nice man.
8
00:00:20,366 --> 00:00:21,966
Isn't he the one
with the show on cable?
9
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,300
Yeah. That's the one.
Right.
10
00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:25,066
Okay, so I spoke to him
about the dog.
11
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,033
He went down,
talked to the owner,
12
00:00:27,066 --> 00:00:29,866
and she agreed to keep the dog
inside from now on.
13
00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:30,000
That's great.
I know!
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,366
That's great.
I know!
15
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,866
[CAR SMASHING]
16
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,366
[TIRES SQUEALING]
17
00:00:48,233 --> 00:00:49,533
That looks pretty good.
18
00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:51,033
He's in.
19
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:55,333
You know,
we haven't even discussed
20
00:00:55,366 --> 00:00:56,833
George's engagement yet.
21
00:00:56,866 --> 00:00:58,133
What's to discuss?
22
00:00:58,166 --> 00:00:59,700
Come on.
George is getting married.
23
00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:00,700
Is he happy?
24
00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:02,566
[♪]
25
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,566
I will never understand
the bathrooms in this country.
26
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,900
Why is it
the doors on the stalls
27
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:08,966
do not come all the way
down to the floor?
28
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,966
Well, maybe so you can see
if there's someone in there.
29
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,066
Isn't that why we have
locks on the doors?
30
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:16,233
Well, as a backup system.
31
00:01:16,266 --> 00:01:19,400
In case the lock is broken,
you can see if it's taken.
32
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,900
A backup system?
33
00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:22,302
We're designing bathroom doors
with our legs exposed
34
00:01:22,302 --> 00:01:24,400
We're designing bathroom doors
with our legs exposed
35
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,400
in anticipation
of the locks not working?
36
00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:28,300
[SNORTING LAUGH]
37
00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:29,633
That's not a system.
38
00:01:29,666 --> 00:01:32,066
That's a complete
breakdown of the system.
39
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,233
Can we change the subject,
please?
Why?
40
00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:36,733
What's wrong with the subject?
This is a bad subject?
41
00:01:36,766 --> 00:01:38,833
No, fine. If you wanna
keep talking about it,
42
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,066
we'll talk about it.
43
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,400
It's not that I wanna
keep talking about it.
44
00:01:42,433 --> 00:01:44,666
I just think that the subject
should resolve itself
45
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,033
based on its own momentum.
46
00:01:46,066 --> 00:01:49,100
Well, I didn't think
that it had any momentum.
47
00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:52,302
How am I gonna do this?
48
00:01:52,302 --> 00:01:52,700
How am I gonna do this?
49
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:54,466
I'm engaged to this woman?
50
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,466
She doesn't even like me.
51
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:59,700
Change the subject?Toilets were the subject.
52
00:01:59,733 --> 00:02:02,566
We don't even sharethe same interests.
53
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,833
[♪]
54
00:02:06,866 --> 00:02:08,333
Yeah, he seems pretty happy.
55
00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:11,433
Well, that's all
that counts, I guess.
56
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,333
What's the matter?
57
00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:17,500
What? Nothin'.
58
00:02:17,533 --> 00:02:19,866
Well, you don't seem too
enthused about the whole thing.
59
00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:22,066
Well, what do you want me to do?
60
00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,866
I thought you'd have
some reaction to it.
61
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,833
Well, I don't.
62
00:02:31,866 --> 00:02:33,700
I think maybe
you're a little jealous.
63
00:02:33,733 --> 00:02:36,800
Oh, what? You think
I wanna marry George?
64
00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:38,033
No, but maybe you wish
65
00:02:38,066 --> 00:02:40,233
it was you who was
getting married, not him.
66
00:02:40,266 --> 00:02:41,333
Oh, please!
67
00:02:41,366 --> 00:02:43,533
That is the last thing
that I want.
68
00:02:43,566 --> 00:02:45,833
Oh, yeah, right.
69
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,500
Yeah. Right.
70
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:48,700
Laney...
71
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,033
Jer-ry!
72
00:02:51,066 --> 00:02:52,302
You don't wanna get married?
73
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:52,366
You don't wanna get married?
74
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,166
That's right.
I don't wanna get married.
75
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,400
Oh, come on!
76
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:57,233
Oh, you come on!
It's such--
77
00:02:57,266 --> 00:02:58,500
Oh, hey.
Hey.
78
00:02:58,533 --> 00:03:00,566
Hey, Elaine, listen.
I was talking to a friend
79
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,133
about this dog business.
80
00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:03,666
Do you realize
this is going to be
81
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:07,666
on our permanent records?
Are you aware of this?
82
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,000
Oh, dear.
83
00:03:09,033 --> 00:03:10,400
It can never be erased.
84
00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:11,566
It'll follow us
85
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,633
wherever we go
for the rest of our lives.
86
00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:15,333
I'll never be able
to get a job!
87
00:03:16,766 --> 00:03:18,233
I mean,
doesn't that concern you?
88
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:21,033
Everything I've worked for,
down the drain
89
00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:22,302
because of one stupid mistake.
90
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:23,033
because of one stupid mistake.
91
00:03:23,066 --> 00:03:24,166
I mean, aren't we entitled
92
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,066
to make one mistake
in our lives, Jerry?
93
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,066
We gotta change the system.
Yes!
94
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,333
Well, I could care less.
95
00:03:30,366 --> 00:03:31,733
I hope it is on our record.
96
00:03:31,766 --> 00:03:33,766
I'm just sorry
they didn't lock me up.
97
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:41,666
[♪]
98
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,133
Oh, hello, Rabbi Kursham.
99
00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:49,866
Elaine.
Always a pleasure to see you.
100
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,302
Thanks again for taking care
of that dog for us.
101
00:03:52,302 --> 00:03:52,400
Thanks again for taking care
of that dog for us.
102
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:56,633
Elaine, oftentimes in life,
there are problems,
103
00:03:56,666 --> 00:03:59,733
and just as often,
there are solutions.
104
00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:02,066
Yeah, yeah, I suppose.
105
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:04,366
Elaine, you don't
seem yourself today.
106
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,700
You seem,
if I may say, troubled.
107
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,566
No, Rabbi,
I'm not myself.
108
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,233
Come upstairs.
109
00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:14,400
We'll have a talk.
110
00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:16,733
[♪]
111
00:04:16,766 --> 00:04:18,166
Hey.
112
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,066
I want your honest opinion
about something.
113
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,733
Have I ever been
less than forthright?
114
00:04:21,766 --> 00:04:22,302
No, you haven't.
115
00:04:22,302 --> 00:04:23,333
No, you haven't.
116
00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:25,000
Well, maybe you have.
What do I know?
117
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,133
Yeah, I probably have.
118
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:28,866
Of course I have.
What am I talking about?
119
00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:30,066
Whatever. Okay.
120
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,366
Tell me what you think
about this idea:
121
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,833
extend the doors
on the toilet stalls
122
00:04:34,866 --> 00:04:37,833
at Yankee Stadium
all the way to the floor.
123
00:04:37,866 --> 00:04:40,833
Extend the doors
on the toilet stalls
124
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:43,833
at Yankee Stadium
to the floor.
125
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,466
Door comes down,
hides your feet.
126
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,400
Yes. I like it.
I like it a lot.
127
00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:50,066
It's good, right?
128
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:52,302
[SNOOTY ACCENT]
I think it's fantastic.
It's a fantastic idea.
129
00:04:52,302 --> 00:04:53,133
[SNOOTY ACCENT]
I think it's fantastic.
It's a fantastic idea.
130
00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:54,633
You do?
Yes, I do.
131
00:04:54,666 --> 00:04:57,066
Well,
I told it to Susan before,
132
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,200
and she didn't like it.
133
00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,866
Hm.
Yeah. Not only that,
134
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,966
This is what she said to me:
"Can we change the subject?"
135
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,000
See? Now, that I don't care for.
Right.
136
00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:07,533
I mean, we're on a subject.
Why does it have to be changed?
137
00:05:07,566 --> 00:05:09,833
It should resolve
of its own volition.
138
00:05:09,866 --> 00:05:11,133
That's exactly what I said!
139
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:12,633
Except I used the word
"momentum."
140
00:05:12,666 --> 00:05:14,366
"Momentum," same thing.
Same thing.
141
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,566
My God!
I'm gettin' married in December.
142
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,966
Do you know that?
Yeah, I know.
143
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,302
I don't see how
I'm gonna make December.
144
00:05:22,302 --> 00:05:22,666
I don't see how
I'm gonna make December.
145
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:24,033
I mean,
I need a little more time.
146
00:05:24,066 --> 00:05:25,400
Look at me.
I'm a nervous wreck.
147
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,333
My-- My stomach aches.
My neck is killing me.
148
00:05:27,366 --> 00:05:30,333
I can't turn.
Look, look.
149
00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:33,833
You're turning.
Nah. It's not a good turn!
150
00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:35,733
December! December!
151
00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:38,000
Don't you think we should
have a little more time
152
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:40,166
just to get to know
each other a little?
153
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,333
You need more time,
you should have more time.
154
00:05:42,366 --> 00:05:44,133
What, you think
I could postpone it?
155
00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,666
Sure, you can.
Why not?
156
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:47,333
You're allowed to postpone?
157
00:05:47,366 --> 00:05:48,866
I don't see why not.
158
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,033
So I could do that?
159
00:05:51,066 --> 00:05:52,302
Sure, go ahead.
160
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:53,000
Sure, go ahead.
161
00:05:54,866 --> 00:05:56,633
All right.
162
00:05:56,666 --> 00:05:59,300
All right.
I'll tell you what.
163
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:00,900
How about this?
I got the date.
164
00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:03,466
March 21st,
the first day of spring.
165
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:04,966
Spring, of course.
Huh?
166
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,300
You know, spring:
167
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,400
rejuvenation, rebirth.
168
00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:11,700
Everything's blooming,
all that crap.
169
00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:14,166
Beautiful.
170
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,366
She's not gonna like it.
171
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,000
No, she's not.
172
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,500
You know, I think
I'm a little bit scared of her.
173
00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:22,302
She's 5'3", like 100 pounds.
I'm frightened to death of her.
174
00:06:22,302 --> 00:06:25,366
She's 5'3", like 100 pounds.
I'm frightened to death of her.
175
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,566
Well, she's a woman.
176
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,666
They don't
like to be disappointed.
177
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,700
Especially her.
178
00:06:31,733 --> 00:06:34,433
She does not like
disappointment.
179
00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:37,800
Well, I have to do it.
I can't make December.
180
00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:39,900
There's no way.
Right? You can see that.
181
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,700
I mean, look at me.
You can see. Look, look.
182
00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:43,233
Can I make December?
I can't make it.
183
00:06:43,266 --> 00:06:45,466
Right? Look. Look!
184
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,233
Yeah,
you'd better shoot for March.
185
00:06:47,266 --> 00:06:48,966
March 21st. Hey, hey.
186
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,733
So y-you're gonna
back me on this, right?
187
00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:52,233
Oh, all the way.
188
00:06:52,266 --> 00:06:52,302
You are a good friend.
You know what?
189
00:06:52,302 --> 00:06:54,233
You are a good friend.
You know what?
190
00:06:54,266 --> 00:06:57,000
Even if you killed somebody,
I wouldn't turn you in.
191
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,166
Oh, is that so?
192
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,900
Kramer, if I killed somebody,
w-would you turn me in?
193
00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:05,333
[SIGHS]
194
00:07:05,366 --> 00:07:07,866
Definitely.
195
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,133
You're kidding?
196
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:10,866
No, no.
I would turn you in.
197
00:07:12,233 --> 00:07:14,166
You would turn me in?
198
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,566
I wouldn't even think about it.
199
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,966
I can't believe it.
You're supposed to be a friend.
200
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,066
What kind of person are you,
going around killing people?
201
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:22,302
Well, I'm sure
I had a good reason.
202
00:07:22,302 --> 00:07:24,166
Well, I'm sure
I had a good reason.
203
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,633
Well,
if you'll kill this person,
204
00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:27,333
who's to say I wouldn't be next?
205
00:07:27,366 --> 00:07:28,400
But you know me.
206
00:07:28,433 --> 00:07:30,666
I thought I did.
207
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:34,333
[♪]
208
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,366
I really appreciate
209
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,400
your taking time
to talk with me, Rabbi.
210
00:07:38,433 --> 00:07:40,066
You know,
I'm not of your faith.
211
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,533
In fact, I'm not
a very religious person,
212
00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:44,033
but, um...
213
00:07:44,066 --> 00:07:47,200
I do feel as if I'm in need
of some guidance here.
214
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:50,466
Would you care for a snack
of some kind?
215
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,302
I have the SnackWells,
which are very popular.
216
00:07:52,302 --> 00:07:54,166
I have the SnackWells,
which are very popular.
217
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,833
Although I think sometimes
218
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,466
with the so-called
fat-free cookies,
219
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,500
people may overindulge,
220
00:08:00,533 --> 00:08:03,666
forgetting that
they may be high in calories.
221
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:07,833
No. No, thank you.
I'm not very hungry.
222
00:08:07,866 --> 00:08:09,300
Anyway, um...
223
00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:11,066
[CLEARS THROAT]
224
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:14,666
This friend of mine,
George, got engaged.
225
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:15,966
How wonderful.
226
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,833
Yeah, yeah.
Well...
227
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:22,302
for some reason,
um...
228
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:22,366
for some reason,
um...
229
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,666
Well, I find myself
just overcome
230
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:28,966
with feelings of jealousy
and resentment.
231
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,666
Doesn't it give you any joy
to see your friend
232
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:35,800
enter into this holiest
of unions?
233
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,800
No, no.
No, it doesn't.
234
00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,466
No joy. No joy whatsoever.
235
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,900
Just the whole thing
makes me...
236
00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:44,833
sick.
237
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:48,800
You know, Elaine,
very often
238
00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:51,466
we cannot see the forest
for the trees.
239
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,302
Yeah, I don't know
what that means.
240
00:08:52,302 --> 00:08:54,633
Yeah, I don't know
what that means.
241
00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:58,133
Well, for example,
say there's a forest--
242
00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:00,566
See, the thing is, Rabbi,
it--
243
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,700
It should've been me,
you know?
244
00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:06,966
I'm smart. I'm--
I'm attractive.
You know,
245
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,133
my temple has many
single functions.
246
00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:11,666
Oh, no. That's okay.
247
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,366
My nephew Alex
248
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,566
is someone
who's also looking.
249
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,800
Perhaps I could, uh...
250
00:09:16,833 --> 00:09:18,533
No, I-- I don't think so.
251
00:09:18,566 --> 00:09:20,400
He owns a flower store.
252
00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:22,302
Very successful.
253
00:09:22,302 --> 00:09:23,400
Very successful.
254
00:09:23,433 --> 00:09:25,466
[♪]
255
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,566
So you're nothing
but a stoolie. Admit it.
256
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,500
Hey, don't do the crime
if you can't do the time.
257
00:09:30,533 --> 00:09:31,900
Another cafe latte?
258
00:09:31,933 --> 00:09:33,333
Yeah.
You better believe it.
259
00:09:33,366 --> 00:09:35,066
Since when are you so trendy?
260
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:37,066
Hey, baby.
I set the trends.
261
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:39,366
Who do you think started
this whole cafe latte thing?
262
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,800
I don't recall you
drinking cafe latte.
263
00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:44,333
I've been drinking cafe latte
since the fifth grade,
264
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:45,566
and I haven't looked back.
265
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,233
Look at this,
Plan 9 from Outer Space
266
00:09:47,266 --> 00:09:49,400
is playing tomorrow night.
One show only.
267
00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:50,666
I've always wanted
to see it.
268
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,302
I was supposed
to see it five years ago.
269
00:09:52,302 --> 00:09:52,333
I was supposed
to see it five years ago.
270
00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:54,566
I was in a Chinese restaurant
with George and Elaine.
271
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,533
We got screwed up
getting a table and missed it.
272
00:09:56,566 --> 00:09:58,166
Well, let's do it, huh?
All right.
273
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,166
Look at this, Jerry.
274
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,833
Dropping paper on the ground.
275
00:10:01,866 --> 00:10:03,800
See, that's littering.
276
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:06,533
Maybe you ought to call the cops
and turn me in.
277
00:10:06,566 --> 00:10:07,666
Maybe I will.
278
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:13,166
[♪]
279
00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:16,500
Hi.
Hi. How was your day?
280
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,666
Good. Good day. How was--?
How was your day?
281
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,733
Oh, it was okay.
282
00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:22,302
So, what's going on?
283
00:10:22,302 --> 00:10:23,000
So, what's going on?
284
00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:25,366
Oh, nothing much.
You know,
285
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,200
went over to Jerry's,
talked to Jerry.
Oh.
286
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:29,566
Oh, the Lauers
287
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,700
wanna get together
with us on Friday night.
288
00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:33,400
The Lauers? Really?
289
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,566
Do you not want to go?
290
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,666
No. No, I want to go.
291
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:39,200
So, what did Jerry have to say?
292
00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:41,833
Oh, nothing much.
No, we...
293
00:10:41,866 --> 00:10:43,566
Talkin'.
294
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,333
Oh!
295
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:50,400
[LAUGHING]
296
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:52,302
I had an unbelievable
idea today.
297
00:10:52,302 --> 00:10:52,466
I had an unbelievable
idea today.
298
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,733
Oh, yeah, the toilets.
You told me.
299
00:10:54,766 --> 00:10:57,000
Yeah. No, it's not the toilets.
It's not the toilets.
300
00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:58,800
It's something else.
You ready for this?
301
00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:00,500
Yeah.
Okay. How about this?
302
00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:01,800
All right.
Okay.
303
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:04,333
We get married...
304
00:11:04,366 --> 00:11:07,066
March 21st,
the first day of spring.
305
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,900
What do you mean? You want
to postpone the wedding?
306
00:11:09,933 --> 00:11:12,366
No, no, no. This has got nothing
to do with postponing.
307
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,300
I think the first day of spring
308
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:15,900
is the perfect day
to get married.
309
00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:18,500
You know, spring:
rejuvenation, rebirth.
310
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:20,166
Everything's blooming.
All the--
311
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,000
If you don't want
to marry me, George,
312
00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:22,302
just say so.
Just say so!
313
00:11:22,302 --> 00:11:25,466
just say so.
Just say so!
314
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,066
No, no. Still marry.
Still marry.
315
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,866
[CRYING]
No, you don't love me.
316
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,866
No, no. Still love.
Still love.
317
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,166
My friends told me
that you were too neurotic
318
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,133
and that
I was making a mistake.
319
00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:38,066
No, no. No mistake.
No mistake.
320
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:40,400
No, listen, we're gonna
get married over Christmas.
321
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,033
It doesn't make
any difference to me.
322
00:11:42,066 --> 00:11:43,200
It's fine, really.
323
00:11:43,233 --> 00:11:44,333
You sure?
Yeah, yeah.
324
00:11:44,366 --> 00:11:45,866
Sure, sure, Christmas.
325
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:50,066
Snow, Santa.
All that...stuff.
326
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,300
[♪]
327
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:52,302
JERRY:
Let me take a guess.
328
00:11:52,302 --> 00:11:53,100
JERRY:
Let me take a guess.
329
00:11:54,033 --> 00:11:56,600
She cried,
and you caved.
330
00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:58,900
How did you know that?
331
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:02,066
I live and breathe,
my friend.
332
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,966
I live and breathe.
333
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,200
I felt terrible.
334
00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:08,400
I thought she was gonna collapse
and kill herself.
335
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:09,900
Yes.
It's very difficult.
336
00:12:09,933 --> 00:12:12,066
Few men have the constitution
for it.
337
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,966
That's why breakups
take two or three tries.
338
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,633
You gotta build up
your immunity.
339
00:12:15,666 --> 00:12:17,200
You see those
tears streaming down,
340
00:12:17,233 --> 00:12:19,500
you don't know what to do.
It's like she was on fire,
341
00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:21,233
I was just
trying to put her out.
342
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:25,500
Well, at least
you probably had some, uh,
343
00:12:25,533 --> 00:12:27,233
pretty good
make-up sex afterward.
344
00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:30,400
I didn't have any sex.
345
00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:32,133
You didn't have make-up sex?
346
00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:34,400
How could you not
have make-up sex?
347
00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:36,900
That's the best feature
of the heavy relationship.
348
00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:39,600
Heh. I missed out
on the make-up sex.
349
00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:43,700
In your situation,
the only sex
350
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:45,533
you're gonna have
better than make-up sex
351
00:12:45,566 --> 00:12:49,033
is if you're sent to prison
and you have a conjugal visit.
352
00:12:49,066 --> 00:12:52,302
Yeah. Conjugal-visit sex.
That is happening.
353
00:12:52,302 --> 00:12:53,233
Yeah. Conjugal-visit sex.
That is happening.
354
00:12:53,266 --> 00:12:56,100
[WOMAN SOBBING]
355
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,666
Look, I can tell
you're very upset,
356
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:03,300
but I'm sorry,
I'm not going.
357
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,033
[LOUD SOBBING]
358
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:08,166
[WHISPERS]
Wow. Did you hear that?
359
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,566
I can't believe this.
Look at this guy.
360
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,066
He's eating a sandwich.
361
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:16,066
Are you gonna eat those fries?
362
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,100
This is amazing.
363
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:25,533
[SOBBING]
364
00:13:25,566 --> 00:13:26,566
Thank you.
365
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,566
Thank you very much.
366
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,033
I'm going back in!
367
00:13:31,366 --> 00:13:33,366
Feel better.
368
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,033
Poor bastard.
369
00:13:35,066 --> 00:13:37,533
[♪]
370
00:13:40,366 --> 00:13:43,000
[♪]
371
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,200
Good evening, Rabbi.
372
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:48,000
Good evening. And how does
this evening find you?
373
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:49,800
Well, Rabbi, well.
374
00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:52,566
I trust you're here
to see your friend Elaine?
375
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:53,866
Yeah. That's right.
376
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,233
I hope she's feeling better.
377
00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:57,733
What do you mean?
378
00:13:57,766 --> 00:13:59,700
She didn't tell you?
No.
379
00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:03,233
Well, it seems the engagement
of her friend George
380
00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:05,833
has left her feeling
bitter and hostile.
381
00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:08,300
Is that so?
382
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:09,610
Oh, yes.
383
00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:09,800
Oh, yes.
384
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:12,033
In fact,
she told me that she wishes
385
00:14:12,066 --> 00:14:14,400
she was the one
who was getting married.
386
00:14:14,433 --> 00:14:16,633
Really?
387
00:14:16,666 --> 00:14:19,300
She came off
as pretty desperate.
388
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,500
I didn't know any of this.
389
00:14:20,533 --> 00:14:22,666
Apparently,
she doesn't think much
390
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,966
of this George fellow, either.
391
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,400
I recall the word "loser"
392
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,800
peppered throughout
her conversation.
393
00:14:29,833 --> 00:14:31,000
Hm.
394
00:14:31,033 --> 00:14:33,000
Well, this all
comes as news to me.
395
00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:35,066
[♪]
396
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:39,000
Hi.
Hi. How was your day?
397
00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:39,610
Good. Good day.
How was your day?
398
00:14:39,610 --> 00:14:41,500
Good. Good day.
How was your day?
399
00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:43,733
Oh, it was okay.
400
00:14:43,766 --> 00:14:45,033
So, what's going on?
401
00:14:45,066 --> 00:14:48,233
Oh, nothing much.
You know,
402
00:14:48,266 --> 00:14:50,733
went over to Jerry.
You know, talked to Jerry.
403
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,233
Um...
404
00:14:56,266 --> 00:14:58,733
Could I--? Could I
talk to you for a minute?
405
00:14:58,766 --> 00:15:00,100
Yeah, sure.
406
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,400
All right.
407
00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:06,000
You see, this is the thing.
408
00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:16,366
[CRYING]
I just feel like
I can't do this in December.
409
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,566
I just feel like I need
a little more time
410
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,233
because I just feel like
I'm not ready yet.
411
00:15:21,266 --> 00:15:23,333
I'm frightened,
and I'm scared.
412
00:15:23,366 --> 00:15:26,700
And I just feel like we need
a little more time
413
00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:28,300
to get to know each other.
414
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:31,566
I'm too nervous.
I'm nervous.
415
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,366
But I-- I can do it in March.
416
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,833
I promise. I promise,
no more postponements.
417
00:15:35,866 --> 00:15:37,133
I just need three more months.
418
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:38,833
Please. That's all.
Just three months.
419
00:15:38,866 --> 00:15:39,610
[SOBBING]
Oh, George.
George.
420
00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:41,300
[SOBBING]
Oh, George.
George.
421
00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:42,633
Oh, of course.
422
00:15:42,666 --> 00:15:44,566
Of course
it can wait until March
423
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,233
if that's what you want.
424
00:15:46,266 --> 00:15:48,900
Yeah?
Oh, don't worry.
425
00:15:48,933 --> 00:15:51,200
Yes, of course.
426
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:53,233
Of course.
427
00:15:56,866 --> 00:15:58,300
[♪]
428
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,300
ELAINE:
I have that
magazine article for you.
429
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,866
You know,
I had a little, uh, talk
430
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:04,000
with the rabbi outside.
431
00:16:04,033 --> 00:16:06,133
Oh, you did?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
432
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,666
Understand, uh,
433
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,166
you had a little talk
with him too.
434
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:09,610
Yeah.
We talked earlier.
435
00:16:09,610 --> 00:16:11,300
Yeah.
We talked earlier.
436
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:14,066
Yes.
I know. I know.
437
00:16:16,866 --> 00:16:18,000
What does that mean?
438
00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:20,666
Nothing.
Nothing.
439
00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:26,366
Ahh.
440
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,733
He didn't mention...?
441
00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:28,833
Yes, he did.
442
00:16:28,866 --> 00:16:30,833
He told you about
the conversation we had?
443
00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:33,133
Oh, we had quite
a little chat.
444
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,833
He told you about--?
Yes.
445
00:16:34,866 --> 00:16:36,800
About how you were
very jealous of George.
446
00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:39,033
How you wish you were
getting married instead of him.
447
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:39,610
He told you that?
How could he?
448
00:16:39,610 --> 00:16:41,166
He told you that?
How could he?
449
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,066
And it didn't take much
prodding, either, I have to say.
450
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,533
Can he do that?
451
00:16:45,566 --> 00:16:47,200
He did it.
452
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:48,966
But he's a rabbi.
453
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,133
How can a rabbi
have such a big mouth?
454
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:53,000
That's what's so fascinating.
455
00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:55,200
[♪]
456
00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:57,366
Hey, you'd better finish
your cafe latte.
457
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,633
They'll never let you
in with it.
Why not?
458
00:16:59,666 --> 00:17:00,733
Because they don't allow
459
00:17:00,766 --> 00:17:02,866
outside drinks
into the movie.
460
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,200
Well, that's stupid.
461
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:05,966
That's the rule.
462
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,366
Yeah, well, we'll just see
if we can't get around that.
463
00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:15,466
[♪]
464
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,966
Oh, Elaine.
Come in, come in.
465
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,133
So nice to see you again.
466
00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:21,666
Yeah.
Can I offer you
467
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:24,300
some kasha varnishkes?
468
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:26,066
No, no.
Listen, Rabbi,
469
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,000
I'd like to ask you
a question.
470
00:17:28,033 --> 00:17:30,333
Why? Why did you tell
my friend Jerry
471
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,066
what I talked to you about?
472
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:33,966
Was that a problem for you?
473
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,066
Of course it was a problem
for me!
474
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:38,366
You-- You didn't--
475
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,610
You didn't tell anyone else
about this, did you?
476
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:40,666
You didn't tell anyone else
about this, did you?
477
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:43,400
Well, let's see.
478
00:17:43,433 --> 00:17:48,366
I seem to recall a conversation
with Mrs. Winston in 1-F.
479
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,733
Mrs. Winston?
480
00:17:49,766 --> 00:17:52,566
Yes. We were waiting
for our mail to arrive,
481
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,066
and I happened to mention to her
482
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:58,166
how you felt it was
never going to "happen" for you.
483
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,233
What about Don Ramsey?
484
00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:04,133
You didn't mention
anything to him, did you?
485
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,733
Don Ramsey?
You know,
486
00:18:05,766 --> 00:18:07,400
that tall,
really good-looking guy.
487
00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:08,833
He lives on the fifth floor.
488
00:18:08,866 --> 00:18:09,610
Oh, him.
489
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:10,666
Oh, him.
490
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:13,533
Well, this morning,
I happened to find myself
491
00:18:13,566 --> 00:18:15,300
in the elevator with him.
Oh, my God.
492
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,500
You didn't.
493
00:18:16,533 --> 00:18:18,566
[♪]
494
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,133
Excuse me.
495
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,000
Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Excuse us.
496
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,366
Ooh!
497
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,200
[SCREAMS]
498
00:18:26,233 --> 00:18:29,100
Coffee--
Arhh!
499
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,610
Hey! Hey, what's going on?
What just happened here?
500
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:40,033
Hey! Hey, what's going on?
What just happened here?
501
00:18:40,066 --> 00:18:41,366
Nothing. Nothing.
502
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,633
What do you got?
One of those
503
00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,366
cafe lattes in your shirt?
504
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,033
I don't have anything.
What? Ask him.
505
00:18:49,433 --> 00:18:51,366
All right. Come on,
coffee boy, bring it out.
506
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,066
What? What are--?
Come on, stand up.
507
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,100
Here we go.
508
00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:56,200
Ahh!
509
00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:57,233
[♪]
510
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,900
ELAINE:
The whole thing is a mess.
511
00:18:58,933 --> 00:19:01,500
He told everyone
in the building.
512
00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:03,666
I ran into that cute guy
on the fifth floor,
513
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:06,100
I mean, he could barely
bring himself to nod.
514
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,033
Elaine,
if I could say a word here
515
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:09,610
about the Jewish people.
516
00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:12,033
about the Jewish people.
517
00:19:12,066 --> 00:19:15,066
That man in no way
represents our ability
518
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,000
to take in a nice piece
of juicy gossip
519
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,000
and keep it to ourselves.
520
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:21,000
You didn't say anything
to George, did you?
521
00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:23,366
No.
About how you wished it was
522
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,633
you who was getting married
instead of him?
523
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:27,666
Feelings of resentment,
hostility.
524
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,000
Yeah, yeah.
So what?
525
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,800
Hey, all.
526
00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:36,000
Georgie!
Congratulations!
527
00:19:36,033 --> 00:19:37,866
Oh, my God!
528
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,610
I haven't seen you
since it happened.
529
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:40,066
I haven't seen you
since it happened.
530
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:42,800
I couldn't be happier for you.
531
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,666
Well, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
532
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,466
Oh, come on.
Come on.
533
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,766
You really,
really deserve it.
534
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,966
Deserve. I don't know
about "deserve."
535
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,066
Are you kidding?
I have seen the changes in you
536
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,400
the past couple of years.
537
00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:59,366
Man, you have grown.
You've matured.
538
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,466
[CHUCKLES]
539
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,300
Yeah,
I guess I'm getting older.
540
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:05,966
Oh. Well, I just think
it's wonderful.
541
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,066
Honestly.
I've gotta run.
542
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,610
But please, please,
give my best to Susan.
Yeah.
543
00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:11,633
But please, please,
give my best to Susan.
Yeah.
544
00:20:11,666 --> 00:20:12,866
My most just...
545
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:15,466
heartfelt congratulations.
Yeah, thanks.
546
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,966
Hey, listen,
if you ever get a date,
547
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,200
maybe the four of us
could go out together sometime.
548
00:20:21,566 --> 00:20:23,733
Yes.
Yes, yes. Sure.
549
00:20:23,766 --> 00:20:26,633
Wasn't there some guy in your
building you said you liked?
550
00:20:26,666 --> 00:20:29,133
He lived up
on the fifth floor or something?
551
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:31,400
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah.
552
00:20:32,933 --> 00:20:34,400
Boy, she is something,
isn't she?
553
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:35,900
Yeah, she's something else.
554
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:37,233
Hey, so, what happened?
555
00:20:37,266 --> 00:20:38,666
Did you hold your ground?
Or...?
556
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:39,610
Nope. I wept like a baby.
557
00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:41,866
Nope. I wept like a baby.
558
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,133
What?
559
00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:45,700
Well, I started to tell her,
and then all of a sudden
560
00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:48,533
for some reason,
I just burst into tears.
561
00:20:48,566 --> 00:20:51,366
You cried?
I bawled uncontrollably.
562
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,500
I-I just poured my guts out.
And I'll tell you,
563
00:20:53,533 --> 00:20:55,033
Jerry, it was incredible.
564
00:20:55,066 --> 00:20:57,833
I never realized
how powerful these tears are.
565
00:20:57,866 --> 00:20:59,800
I could've postponed it
another five years
566
00:20:59,833 --> 00:21:01,866
if I wanted to.
567
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:03,166
Hey.
Hey.
568
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,533
Sorry about that movie thing.
569
00:21:04,566 --> 00:21:05,733
I was joking around.
570
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:07,566
Sorry? Are you kidding?
571
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,366
You did me the biggest
favor of my life.
572
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:09,610
I spoke to a lawyer.
We're suing for millions.
573
00:21:09,610 --> 00:21:13,366
I spoke to a lawyer.
We're suing for millions.
574
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,966
Suing? What for?
575
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,500
The coffee was too hot.
576
00:21:18,533 --> 00:21:19,700
It's supposed to be hot.
577
00:21:19,733 --> 00:21:20,866
Not that hot.
578
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:23,900
[♪]
579
00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:33,833
The prophet Isaiah
tells us that without friends
580
00:21:33,866 --> 00:21:36,966
our lives are empty
and meaningless.
581
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,000
Don't--
Wait a minute. No. Whoa.
582
00:21:39,033 --> 00:21:40,800
That's the rabbi
from Elaine's building.
583
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,333
I just met this guy
the other day.
584
00:21:43,366 --> 00:21:46,466
A young lady I know--
585
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:47,933
Let's call her Elaine.
586
00:21:51,266 --> 00:21:53,033
--happened to find herself
587
00:21:53,066 --> 00:21:57,300
overwhelmed with feelingsof resentment and hostility
588
00:21:57,333 --> 00:21:58,500
for her friend.
589
00:21:58,533 --> 00:21:58,579
Let's call him George.
590
00:21:58,579 --> 00:22:00,233
Let's call him George.
591
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:05,633
She felt that Georgewas somewhat of a loser
592
00:22:05,666 --> 00:22:08,733
and that she was the onewho deserved
593
00:22:08,766 --> 00:22:11,166
to be married first.
594
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,966
She also happenedto mention to me
595
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,800
that her friendhad wondered
596
00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:19,533
if going to a prostitutewhile you're engaged
597
00:22:19,566 --> 00:22:21,333
is considered cheating.
598
00:22:24,933 --> 00:22:26,700
His feeling was,
599
00:22:26,733 --> 00:22:28,579
they're never goingto see each other again,
600
00:22:28,579 --> 00:22:28,966
they're never goingto see each other again,
601
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,866
so, what's the difference?
602
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,800
But that is a subjectfor another sermon.
603
00:22:35,833 --> 00:22:39,766
And now I'd like to closewith a psalm.
42573
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