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1
00:00:01,347 --> 00:00:03,014
Remember a few years ago
in New York,
2
00:00:03,047 --> 00:00:04,147
we had the doorman strike?
3
00:00:04,181 --> 00:00:05,881
They have a union
in the fancy buildings,
4
00:00:05,914 --> 00:00:07,081
and they went out on strike.
5
00:00:07,114 --> 00:00:09,014
Now, you would think,
if any group of people
6
00:00:09,047 --> 00:00:10,714
would not want to demonstrate
7
00:00:10,747 --> 00:00:13,047
what life would be like
without them,
8
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,681
it would be doormen.
9
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:18,381
"Let's see how they do
without us."
10
00:00:18,414 --> 00:00:20,714
There's no doorman, people open
the door, they walk in.
11
00:00:20,747 --> 00:00:22,047
You know.
12
00:00:22,081 --> 00:00:23,981
I mean, whose gonna
walk out next?
13
00:00:24,014 --> 00:00:26,381
The guys that clean your
windshield at the traffic light
14
00:00:26,414 --> 00:00:28,247
with the dirty rag?
15
00:00:28,281 --> 00:00:30,000
"We demand shorter yellows
and longer reds."
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,847
"We demand shorter yellows
and longer reds."
17
00:00:34,747 --> 00:00:36,547
[♪]
18
00:00:40,424 --> 00:00:42,657
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
19
00:00:45,490 --> 00:00:46,790
May I help you?
20
00:00:46,824 --> 00:00:49,290
Yeah, I'm just goin' up
to see Elaine Benes.
21
00:00:49,324 --> 00:00:50,390
Benes.
22
00:00:50,424 --> 00:00:53,090
There's no one here
by that name.
23
00:00:53,124 --> 00:00:55,257
Oh, she's housesitting
for Mr. Pitt.
24
00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:57,124
Oh, a housesitter?
Yeah.
25
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,124
What are you, the boyfriend?
26
00:00:59,157 --> 00:01:00,990
Here for a...quickie?
27
00:01:04,490 --> 00:01:05,557
Can I just go up?
28
00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:07,424
Oh, I get it,
why waste time
29
00:01:07,457 --> 00:01:08,990
makin' small talk
with the doorman?
30
00:01:09,024 --> 00:01:11,124
I should just...
shut up and do my job,
31
00:01:11,157 --> 00:01:12,657
openin' the door for ya.
32
00:01:26,624 --> 00:01:27,790
[CLEARS THROAT]
33
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,024
How 'bout those Knicks?
34
00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:34,326
Oh, the sports page.
Yeah.
35
00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:34,424
Oh, the sports page.
Yeah.
36
00:01:34,457 --> 00:01:35,657
What makes you think I wasn't
37
00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:36,957
reading the Wall Street page?
38
00:01:36,990 --> 00:01:38,624
Oh, I know.
I'm the uneducated doorman.
39
00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:46,457
So you think your parents
will get back together?
40
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:49,257
I hope so, I can't take him
livin' with me much longer.
41
00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:51,390
He makes this kasha,
it stinks up the whole house.
42
00:01:51,424 --> 00:01:52,757
Hey, George,
43
00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:53,957
stick 'em up.
44
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:55,957
What?
For these German tourists.
45
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,457
Pretend that I'm robbing you.
46
00:01:57,490 --> 00:01:59,057
Why?
47
00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:00,624
So these people
can go back home
48
00:02:00,657 --> 00:02:03,057
and tell their friends they saw
a real New York mugging.
49
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,326
It'll give them a thrill.
50
00:02:04,326 --> 00:02:04,724
It'll give them a thrill.
51
00:02:04,757 --> 00:02:06,257
All right.
Hands up, porky!
52
00:02:08,424 --> 00:02:10,757
That's it. Now, gimme
your wallet, huh?
53
00:02:10,790 --> 00:02:12,824
You've got it in here,
huh, fat boy?!
54
00:02:14,357 --> 00:02:15,557
Is that all ya got?
55
00:02:15,590 --> 00:02:16,557
Huh, is that all ya got?!
56
00:02:16,590 --> 00:02:17,724
All right, that's enough!
57
00:02:17,757 --> 00:02:18,957
I'll tell ya when it's enough!
58
00:02:20,690 --> 00:02:22,390
All right, you better
not say anything.
59
00:02:22,424 --> 00:02:23,357
Or I'll stalk ya!
60
00:02:26,424 --> 00:02:27,657
ELAINE:
Where have you been?
61
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,624
We're gonna miss
the movie. Let's go!
62
00:02:29,657 --> 00:02:31,724
I am not going
back down there.
63
00:02:31,757 --> 00:02:33,624
I can't face
that guy again.
64
00:02:33,657 --> 00:02:34,326
What guy?
The doorman!
65
00:02:34,326 --> 00:02:35,490
What guy?
The doorman!
66
00:02:35,524 --> 00:02:37,490
I don't wanna play any more
of his mind games.
67
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:38,890
What time does he get off?
68
00:02:38,924 --> 00:02:41,224
Six, but then
the night doorman comes on.
69
00:02:41,257 --> 00:02:42,757
He's much scarier.
70
00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:43,690
Bah!
71
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,224
Well, it's almost 6 now.
72
00:02:46,257 --> 00:02:47,990
Can't we just wait
till he goes home?
Oh--
73
00:02:48,024 --> 00:02:49,157
We'll still make the movie.
74
00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:50,424
Okay, okay.
75
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,190
[SIGHS]
76
00:02:58,190 --> 00:03:00,657
GEORGE:
So, what did you do today, Dad?
77
00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:03,490
Today, I went record shopping
in Greenwich Village.
78
00:03:03,524 --> 00:03:04,326
I bought this record, but
I can't seem to find a hi-fi.
79
00:03:04,326 --> 00:03:06,557
I bought this record, but
I can't seem to find a hi-fi.
80
00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:07,757
I don't have a hi-fi.
81
00:03:07,790 --> 00:03:09,490
Didn't I give you
my old record player?
82
00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:10,657
I gave it to Cosmo.
83
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,790
Cosmo? Who's Cosmo?
84
00:03:12,824 --> 00:03:14,124
I'm Cosmo.
85
00:03:14,157 --> 00:03:15,590
Well, I want it back.
86
00:03:15,624 --> 00:03:17,290
I want to listen
to that cha-cha record.
87
00:03:17,324 --> 00:03:19,957
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
88
00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:22,157
All right, all right,
can we go out and eat?
89
00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:23,757
[HUMMING]
90
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:26,290
Lemme change my shirt.
91
00:03:29,190 --> 00:03:30,624
Oh!
92
00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:34,290
ELAINE:
Jerry, it's 6.
93
00:03:34,324 --> 00:03:34,326
Let's go.
94
00:03:34,326 --> 00:03:35,657
Let's go.
95
00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:38,324
Ah, that doorman's still
millin' around outside.
96
00:03:38,357 --> 00:03:40,124
He's very peculiar.
97
00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:42,357
[PHONE RINGS]
98
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:44,990
No, don't--
99
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,090
Hello?
100
00:03:46,124 --> 00:03:47,157
Oh, hi, Mr. Pitt.
101
00:03:47,190 --> 00:03:49,424
Oh! Give that to me.
102
00:03:49,457 --> 00:03:51,990
Hello, Mr. Pitt.
How's Scotland?
103
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,957
Elaine! Are you having a party?
104
00:03:53,990 --> 00:03:57,757
A party? Oh, no, that was
just my stupid friend, Jerry.
105
00:03:57,790 --> 00:03:59,257
All right, he just left.
We can go.
106
00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:01,624
Because there's to be
no entertaining while I'm gone.
107
00:04:01,657 --> 00:04:03,290
Believe me,
we're not entertained.
108
00:04:03,324 --> 00:04:04,290
We were just leaving.
109
00:04:04,324 --> 00:04:04,326
Can you grab those
empty bottles for me?
110
00:04:04,326 --> 00:04:05,990
Can you grab those
empty bottles for me?
111
00:04:06,024 --> 00:04:07,790
I need to know
what's in the mail.
112
00:04:07,824 --> 00:04:10,657
Oh, well, Mr. Pitt, there's
really nothing that can't wait.
113
00:04:10,690 --> 00:04:12,090
We're trying to catch a movie.
114
00:04:12,124 --> 00:04:13,757
Well, you better catchthe later show,
115
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:15,624
because I need to know
what's in the mail.
116
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,590
All right.
117
00:04:18,624 --> 00:04:20,457
[TEARFULLY]
I can't go.
118
00:04:29,190 --> 00:04:32,157
Uh, the new TIME magazine.
119
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:34,326
The new People.
120
00:04:34,326 --> 00:04:34,757
The new People.
121
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,190
PITT:
Oh, who's on the cover?
122
00:04:37,257 --> 00:04:38,324
Hey, buddy.
123
00:04:39,357 --> 00:04:40,824
You?
124
00:04:40,857 --> 00:04:43,290
Wh-what are you doing here?
You work at this building too?
125
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,157
Oh, sure.
126
00:04:45,190 --> 00:04:47,790
Poor doorman has to work
two jobs
127
00:04:47,824 --> 00:04:50,057
to put food on the table
for mother and baby.
128
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,557
No, I live here.
129
00:04:52,590 --> 00:04:53,924
That's okay, isn't it?
130
00:04:53,957 --> 00:04:56,657
So you work all day as a doorman
at one building,
131
00:04:56,690 --> 00:04:58,957
then you come home and stand
outside your own building?
132
00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:00,557
Yeah.
133
00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:01,890
You got a problem with that?
134
00:05:01,924 --> 00:05:04,057
Look, I-I'm not goin'
in your building.
135
00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:04,326
I-I really don't have
to talk to you.
136
00:05:04,326 --> 00:05:05,724
I-I really don't have
to talk to you.
137
00:05:05,757 --> 00:05:07,224
Goodbye.
138
00:05:07,257 --> 00:05:10,424
You really think you're better
than me, don't ya?
139
00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:13,490
GEORGE:
So my father opened his shirt...
140
00:05:14,457 --> 00:05:16,224
Yeah, and?
141
00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:18,757
Tell him, Kramer.
142
00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:20,924
He had breasts.
143
00:05:26,457 --> 00:05:27,824
What do you mean, breasts?
144
00:05:27,857 --> 00:05:29,924
Big breasts.
145
00:05:29,957 --> 00:05:32,290
So what? A lot of older men
have that.
146
00:05:32,324 --> 00:05:33,324
No, not these.
147
00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:34,326
These were real hooters.
148
00:05:34,326 --> 00:05:35,090
These were real hooters.
149
00:05:39,957 --> 00:05:42,324
I was throwin' up all night.
150
00:05:42,357 --> 00:05:45,957
It's like my own personal
Crying Game.
151
00:05:50,824 --> 00:05:53,457
You know, maybe you're gonna
get 'em too, George.
152
00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:57,324
Yeah, that's right.
153
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,957
What--? What if
it's a genetic thing?
154
00:05:58,990 --> 00:06:00,290
You know,
like father, like son.
155
00:06:00,324 --> 00:06:01,824
But your father's not bald.
156
00:06:01,857 --> 00:06:03,890
No, no, no,
that skips a generation.
157
00:06:03,924 --> 00:06:04,326
The baldness gene comes
from your grandfather.
158
00:06:04,326 --> 00:06:05,957
The baldness gene comes
from your grandfather.
159
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,424
Then I suppose the bosom gene
comes from your grandmother?
160
00:06:11,157 --> 00:06:12,957
You know, Frank can't
be too comfortable
161
00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:14,890
with those things
clangin' around.
162
00:06:14,924 --> 00:06:17,990
He should wear
something for support.
163
00:06:18,024 --> 00:06:19,390
You mean, like a bra?
164
00:06:19,424 --> 00:06:21,724
No, no. A bra is for ladies.
165
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,124
I'm talking about
a support undergarment
166
00:06:24,157 --> 00:06:26,524
specifically designed for men.
167
00:06:27,824 --> 00:06:30,790
Boy, that brain
never stops workin', does it?
168
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,457
That's right.
169
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:34,326
I'm gonna go noodle with this.
170
00:06:34,326 --> 00:06:34,590
I'm gonna go noodle with this.
171
00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:38,324
Hey!
172
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:39,424
We're twins.
173
00:06:41,090 --> 00:06:42,824
What?!
174
00:06:43,657 --> 00:06:45,324
Our shirts, they're the same.
175
00:06:45,357 --> 00:06:47,690
Oh, heh. Imagine that.
176
00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:53,724
What? What did you say
to the doorman?
177
00:06:53,757 --> 00:06:55,157
What? Nothing.
178
00:06:55,190 --> 00:06:57,590
He claims that you
followed him home
179
00:06:57,624 --> 00:06:59,724
and started
harassing him?
180
00:06:59,757 --> 00:07:02,157
What, has this guy got
a personal vendetta with me?
181
00:07:02,190 --> 00:07:03,257
What did I do to him?
182
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,326
Because I asked him
about the Knicks?
183
00:07:04,326 --> 00:07:04,824
Because I asked him
about the Knicks?
184
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,057
Hey, did you make
the movie?
185
00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:07,124
No.
186
00:07:07,157 --> 00:07:08,824
You wanna go tonight?
You can pick me up.
187
00:07:08,857 --> 00:07:10,457
All right, can we go
to a later show
188
00:07:10,490 --> 00:07:12,157
so he's off his shift
when I come by?
189
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:14,890
So now we have to
rearrange our lives
190
00:07:14,924 --> 00:07:16,757
to avoid the doorman?
191
00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:19,457
Yes, we do.
192
00:07:22,857 --> 00:07:25,924
What is wrong
with George?
193
00:07:25,957 --> 00:07:29,257
He's...tryin' to get
something off his chest.
194
00:07:30,524 --> 00:07:31,657
All right.
195
00:07:31,690 --> 00:07:33,157
I've gotta try
and talk my mother
196
00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:34,326
into taking him
off my hands.
197
00:07:34,326 --> 00:07:35,257
into taking him
off my hands.
198
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,424
Help you?
199
00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:40,590
[GASPS]
200
00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:43,057
Wh-what are you doing here?
201
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:44,224
You're supposed to be gone.
202
00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:46,157
I traded shifts
with the night doorman.
203
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:48,124
He had some personal
affairs to attend to.
204
00:07:48,157 --> 00:07:50,557
You see, my fellow doormen and I
watch out for each other,
205
00:07:50,590 --> 00:07:53,124
we don't stab each other in the
back like people in your world.
206
00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:56,790
Look, I don't want any trouble.
207
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,390
I don't have a doorman
in my building.
208
00:07:58,424 --> 00:08:01,290
I guess I'm just not used
to talking to them.
209
00:08:01,324 --> 00:08:03,090
I'd really just like
to be friends.
210
00:08:03,124 --> 00:08:04,224
You wanna be friends?
211
00:08:04,257 --> 00:08:04,326
I'd like to be.
212
00:08:04,326 --> 00:08:05,224
I'd like to be.
213
00:08:05,257 --> 00:08:06,990
Then watch the door
for a minute, would ya?
214
00:08:07,024 --> 00:08:08,457
What?
215
00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:10,557
I wanna run and get a beer.
I'll be back in a minute.
216
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,324
Wait, wait, wait a sec.
What do I do?
217
00:08:12,357 --> 00:08:13,390
It's not brain surgery.
218
00:08:13,424 --> 00:08:15,090
Open the door for people
who live here.
219
00:08:15,124 --> 00:08:16,490
If they don't,
don't let them in.
220
00:08:16,524 --> 00:08:17,824
Here.
221
00:08:17,857 --> 00:08:19,524
Wear this.
222
00:08:22,324 --> 00:08:23,757
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
223
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,990
Hey, hey, wait a second.
224
00:08:34,024 --> 00:08:34,326
Hey, hello!
225
00:08:34,326 --> 00:08:35,957
Hey, hello!
226
00:08:37,757 --> 00:08:39,490
Hey, hey, hey, wait a second,
you live here?
227
00:08:39,524 --> 00:08:40,490
Of course
I live here.
228
00:08:40,524 --> 00:08:42,224
I've lived here
for 20 years.
229
00:08:42,257 --> 00:08:44,490
Now, if you don't let me in,
I'm going to call the police
230
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,224
and have you arrested.
231
00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:47,490
All right, all right.
232
00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:52,124
You think you're better than me?
233
00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:21,257
You gotta sign for it.
234
00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:23,157
Oh, right.
235
00:09:28,624 --> 00:09:30,024
Hey, how 'bout
those Knicks, huh?
236
00:09:33,257 --> 00:09:34,326
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
237
00:09:34,326 --> 00:09:35,257
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
238
00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:37,290
[SIGHS]
239
00:09:42,857 --> 00:09:44,324
Ah...
240
00:09:47,857 --> 00:09:48,957
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
241
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,090
Hey.
242
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,790
I, uh, brought back
your record player.
243
00:09:52,824 --> 00:09:54,090
Oh, thank you, Kramer.
Yeah.
244
00:09:54,124 --> 00:09:55,190
Put it over there.
245
00:09:56,257 --> 00:09:57,824
Oh, boy.
246
00:09:57,857 --> 00:09:58,890
Yeah.
247
00:09:58,924 --> 00:10:00,457
So, how you feelin'?
248
00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:01,724
A little tired.
249
00:10:01,757 --> 00:10:03,424
Uh-huh. Does your back hurt?
250
00:10:03,457 --> 00:10:04,326
How did you know?
251
00:10:04,326 --> 00:10:04,990
How did you know?
252
00:10:05,024 --> 00:10:06,490
Well, it's obvious.
253
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:08,657
You're carrying a lot
of extra baggage up there.
254
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:10,390
Up here?
255
00:10:10,424 --> 00:10:11,957
Oh, yeah, top floor.
256
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,257
You see, Frank...
257
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,790
have you ever considered
wearing something for support?
258
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,257
Now, look at this.
259
00:10:18,290 --> 00:10:20,890
Mind you, this is
just a prototype.
260
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:21,957
You want me to wear a bra?
261
00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:24,724
No, no.
A bra is for ladies.
262
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,924
Meet...the Bro.
263
00:10:30,624 --> 00:10:34,326
So is your father excited
about coming home?
264
00:10:34,326 --> 00:10:34,357
So is your father excited
about coming home?
265
00:10:36,257 --> 00:10:38,657
George.
266
00:10:39,924 --> 00:10:42,724
Hey, Mom, wh-what kind
of woman was Grandma?
267
00:10:42,757 --> 00:10:45,590
All of a sudden you're
interested in your grandmother?
268
00:10:45,624 --> 00:10:47,724
Well, you know,
you get to a certain point
269
00:10:47,757 --> 00:10:49,390
you wanna know
about your roots.
270
00:10:49,424 --> 00:10:52,157
Well, she was
a lovely woman.
271
00:10:52,190 --> 00:10:53,790
Yeah.
272
00:10:53,824 --> 00:10:54,990
What about physically?
273
00:10:55,024 --> 00:10:56,224
Physically?
274
00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:59,124
Yeah, you know,
what did she look like?
275
00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:00,924
Well, you've
seen pictures.
276
00:11:00,957 --> 00:11:02,924
You can't tell much
from those pictures.
277
00:11:02,957 --> 00:11:04,324
Tell what?
278
00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:10,057
Was she a...?
279
00:11:10,090 --> 00:11:11,624
Was she a big woman?
280
00:11:11,657 --> 00:11:15,090
Big? No.
She was my height.
281
00:11:15,124 --> 00:11:16,457
Bosomy?
282
00:11:16,490 --> 00:11:18,257
Bosomy?
283
00:11:18,290 --> 00:11:21,457
You wanna know
if your grandmother was bosomy?
284
00:11:21,490 --> 00:11:23,724
Oh, heh, no.
I was just wondering.
285
00:11:23,757 --> 00:11:25,290
The information
could be relevant.
286
00:11:25,324 --> 00:11:27,990
Where do you get
your genes from?!
287
00:11:28,024 --> 00:11:30,257
[QUIETLY]
That's what I'd like to know.
288
00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:33,957
I can't believe
you left your post.
289
00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:34,326
He left me there.
290
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:35,457
He left me there.
291
00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:37,357
You see?
The mind games?
292
00:11:40,357 --> 00:11:42,624
Hey, what's--? What's--?
What's goin' on here?
293
00:11:42,657 --> 00:11:45,024
Somebody stole the couch
out of the lobby.
294
00:11:47,490 --> 00:11:48,890
Where's the doorman?
295
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:50,790
How come someone
wasn't watching the door?
296
00:11:50,824 --> 00:11:52,857
[WHISPERS]
Jerry, let's get out of here!
297
00:11:56,024 --> 00:11:58,357
[LIVELY CHA-CHA MUSIC PLAYING]
298
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:12,757
Oh, my God.
299
00:12:22,165 --> 00:12:23,626
What were you doing
watching the door, anyway?
300
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,826
He asked me to.
We were gettin' along.
301
00:12:25,859 --> 00:12:28,559
You know, my fingerprints
are all over this.
302
00:12:28,593 --> 00:12:30,459
That doorman knows
you're a friend of mine.
303
00:12:30,493 --> 00:12:31,793
He'll tell
that co-op lady,
304
00:12:31,826 --> 00:12:33,159
she'll tell
Mr. Pitt.
305
00:12:33,193 --> 00:12:34,893
Jerry, I'm in this
too deep.
306
00:12:34,926 --> 00:12:37,526
Don't you find it odd
that as soon as he leaves,
307
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:38,959
the couch gets stolen?
308
00:12:38,993 --> 00:12:40,126
Maybe he's settin' me up.
309
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,293
All right, shut up, shut up,
310
00:12:41,326 --> 00:12:43,526
Just let me think.
I gotta think.
311
00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:45,193
We gotta get
our story straight.
312
00:12:45,226 --> 00:12:46,459
All right,
what if we say--?
313
00:12:46,493 --> 00:12:47,526
All right,
here it is.
314
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,279
This is what
we'll tell 'em.
315
00:12:48,279 --> 00:12:49,059
This is what
we'll tell 'em.
316
00:12:49,093 --> 00:12:50,193
You came
to pick me up.
317
00:12:50,226 --> 00:12:51,426
I came to pick you up.
318
00:12:52,659 --> 00:12:53,859
Yeah, that's what I just said.
319
00:12:53,893 --> 00:12:55,059
No, I was just...
320
00:12:55,093 --> 00:12:56,726
I know you were just,
it's not helping.
321
00:12:56,759 --> 00:12:58,526
All right.
Well, just start again.
322
00:12:58,559 --> 00:12:59,793
Okay, you came
to pick me up--
323
00:12:59,826 --> 00:13:00,726
Right.
324
00:13:03,026 --> 00:13:04,459
You see? Again.
325
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,826
What? I said "right."
326
00:13:07,159 --> 00:13:09,626
All right,
you came right upstairs
327
00:13:09,659 --> 00:13:11,559
without talking to the doorman.
328
00:13:11,593 --> 00:13:13,559
But the doorman's gonna
say that I was there!
329
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,193
So what? No one's gonna
believe a doorman!
330
00:13:16,226 --> 00:13:17,793
But I don't know if this
is gonna work.
331
00:13:17,826 --> 00:13:18,279
Just stick with the story, we'll
be fine! Let me do the talking.
332
00:13:18,279 --> 00:13:20,459
Just stick with the story, we'll
be fine! Let me do the talking.
333
00:13:20,493 --> 00:13:21,459
Okay.
334
00:13:21,493 --> 00:13:23,159
Good, now fix me a drink.
335
00:13:24,526 --> 00:13:25,693
KRAMER:
How's that feel?
336
00:13:25,726 --> 00:13:27,626
This feels
very comfortable.
337
00:13:27,659 --> 00:13:28,626
Ya see?
338
00:13:28,659 --> 00:13:29,959
I feel ten years younger.
339
00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:31,693
Yeah, and your posture's
a lot better.
340
00:13:31,726 --> 00:13:32,793
Look at you!
341
00:13:32,826 --> 00:13:34,326
And I can breathe
easier, too.
342
00:13:34,359 --> 00:13:36,793
I told you! Now, Frank, listen.
Here's what I'm thinking.
343
00:13:36,826 --> 00:13:38,893
Now, you have a friend
in the bra business, right?
344
00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:41,226
Of course, Sid Farkus.
He's the best in the business.
345
00:13:41,259 --> 00:13:43,459
Here's our chance.
What do ya say?
346
00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:46,326
It'll be me, you,
and the Bro, bro.
347
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,493
Let's do it!
348
00:13:48,693 --> 00:13:50,559
Except we gotta do
something about the name.
349
00:13:50,593 --> 00:13:51,893
Why? What's wrong with Bro?
350
00:13:51,926 --> 00:13:53,459
No, Bro's no good.
Too ethnic.
351
00:13:53,493 --> 00:13:54,726
You got something better?
352
00:13:54,759 --> 00:13:57,193
How 'bout, uh...
353
00:13:57,226 --> 00:13:59,559
the Mansiere?
354
00:14:00,759 --> 00:14:01,959
Mansiere.
355
00:14:01,993 --> 00:14:03,059
That's right.
356
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:06,159
A brassiere for a man.
357
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:07,993
The Mansiere. Get it?
358
00:14:08,026 --> 00:14:09,726
Well...
359
00:14:09,759 --> 00:14:11,626
you scared her off.
360
00:14:11,659 --> 00:14:13,893
We may never see Mom again.
361
00:14:13,926 --> 00:14:16,059
Hey, George,
what do ya like better?
362
00:14:16,093 --> 00:14:18,279
The Bro
or the Mansiere?
363
00:14:18,279 --> 00:14:19,726
The Bro
or the Mansiere?
364
00:14:24,659 --> 00:14:27,193
Dad...
365
00:14:27,226 --> 00:14:29,093
we need to talk.
366
00:14:31,059 --> 00:14:32,726
DOORMAN:
I had to use the bathroom,
367
00:14:32,759 --> 00:14:35,493
so I asked this guy to watch
the door for a few minutes.
368
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,893
Why should I believe you?
369
00:14:38,259 --> 00:14:39,859
Actually...
370
00:14:39,893 --> 00:14:41,726
it was her friend.
371
00:14:42,826 --> 00:14:45,726
I was just speaking
to the doorman, here,
372
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,693
about the couch robbery.
373
00:14:47,726 --> 00:14:48,279
Oh, really?
374
00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:49,026
Oh, really?
375
00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:50,159
The doorman.
376
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:51,226
[CHUCKLES]
377
00:14:51,259 --> 00:14:53,659
And, pray tell,
what did the doorman say?
378
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:57,359
He said he asked a friend
of yours to watch the door.
379
00:14:57,393 --> 00:14:59,826
Oh, my. Well.
380
00:14:59,859 --> 00:15:03,493
The doorman certainly has
a wild imagination, doesn't he?
381
00:15:03,526 --> 00:15:06,359
Well, what do we have here?
382
00:15:06,393 --> 00:15:08,326
Perhaps Ms. Benes can explain
383
00:15:08,359 --> 00:15:12,493
why a Jerry Seinfeld
signed for this package
384
00:15:12,526 --> 00:15:14,526
at the exact same time
the couch was stolen?
385
00:15:17,926 --> 00:15:18,279
He never watched a door before,
Mrs. Payton.
386
00:15:18,279 --> 00:15:20,659
He never watched a door before,
Mrs. Payton.
387
00:15:20,693 --> 00:15:22,159
He didn't know how
to do it!
388
00:15:22,193 --> 00:15:24,226
You know, he's a comedian,
Mrs. Payton.
389
00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:26,693
They don't know
how to do anything!
390
00:15:28,526 --> 00:15:30,393
Don't you see
what's going on here?
391
00:15:30,426 --> 00:15:31,793
He set us up!
392
00:15:31,826 --> 00:15:33,693
He's playing
all these mind games!
393
00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:37,693
JERRY:
They're saying I'm responsible
for the couch?
394
00:15:37,726 --> 00:15:39,126
There was nothing
I could do.
395
00:15:39,159 --> 00:15:41,826
He said he had a Federal Express
slip with your signature on it.
396
00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:43,859
Diabolical!
397
00:15:43,893 --> 00:15:45,359
He thought of everything.
398
00:15:45,393 --> 00:15:46,993
He was setting me up
from day one.
399
00:15:47,026 --> 00:15:48,279
Is it possible
we were victims of a sting?
400
00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:49,626
Is it possible
we were victims of a sting?
401
00:15:49,659 --> 00:15:52,126
I'm sure he's having
a good laugh over this
402
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,626
with his doorman buddies.
403
00:15:53,659 --> 00:15:55,326
[LAUGHTER]
404
00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,826
So you didn't even
want the couch?
405
00:15:58,859 --> 00:16:00,893
No! I was just
messin' with his head.
406
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:02,326
[ALL LAUGHING]
407
00:16:02,359 --> 00:16:05,126
And they think
they're better than us!
408
00:16:05,159 --> 00:16:07,459
[ALL LAUGHING]
409
00:16:07,493 --> 00:16:09,393
ELAINE:
Anyway, Jerry...
410
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,026
Jerry.
411
00:16:11,059 --> 00:16:12,859
We have to replace the couch.
412
00:16:12,893 --> 00:16:14,693
Now we have to buy
a new couch?
413
00:16:14,726 --> 00:16:17,993
Not necessarily.
414
00:16:18,026 --> 00:16:18,279
Why don't you take back
the couch you gave me?
415
00:16:18,279 --> 00:16:19,893
Why don't you take back
the couch you gave me?
416
00:16:19,926 --> 00:16:21,293
The one with the Poppie stain?
417
00:16:21,326 --> 00:16:22,626
Yeah, sure.
418
00:16:22,659 --> 00:16:24,493
Then my father will have
no place to sleep.
419
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,626
He's gotta move out!
420
00:16:26,659 --> 00:16:28,393
But it's got a pee stain on it.
421
00:16:28,426 --> 00:16:29,659
No, the cushion's turned over.
422
00:16:30,726 --> 00:16:32,026
I guess...
423
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,959
Yeah! You get a couch,
I get rid of my father.
424
00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,259
It couldn't be more perfect.
425
00:16:38,093 --> 00:16:39,459
Now, it's called
the Bro.
426
00:16:39,493 --> 00:16:40,526
Or the Mansiere.
427
00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:41,793
Yeah, but I prefer the Bro.
428
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:43,359
I like Mansiere.
429
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,726
Well, I have to tell you...
430
00:16:45,759 --> 00:16:47,793
it's a very interesting idea.
431
00:16:47,826 --> 00:16:48,279
You know, selling bras
exclusively to woman,
432
00:16:48,279 --> 00:16:50,859
You know, selling bras
exclusively to woman,
433
00:16:50,893 --> 00:16:54,226
we're really only utilizing
50% of the market.
434
00:16:54,259 --> 00:16:55,493
That's what
we figured, huh?
435
00:16:55,526 --> 00:16:56,493
I told you.
436
00:16:56,526 --> 00:16:57,726
And to be
perfectly frank...
437
00:16:57,759 --> 00:17:00,659
I've always felt
I could use some support.
438
00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:05,026
I know when
I'm wearing Ban-Lon...
439
00:17:05,059 --> 00:17:07,893
there appears
to be some jiggling.
440
00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:09,659
I wouldn't be caught dead
in Ban-Lon.
441
00:17:10,559 --> 00:17:12,226
So, what do you see in the back?
442
00:17:12,259 --> 00:17:13,393
Hooks? Velcro?
443
00:17:13,426 --> 00:17:15,026
Uh...
Definitely Velcro.
444
00:17:15,059 --> 00:17:16,693
Oh, yeah. Say you're
445
00:17:16,726 --> 00:17:18,279
getting intimate
with a woman, uh...
446
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:19,026
getting intimate
with a woman, uh...
447
00:17:19,059 --> 00:17:21,426
you don't want her fumbling
and struggling back there.
448
00:17:22,893 --> 00:17:24,559
I think we've all
experienced that.
449
00:17:24,593 --> 00:17:26,726
[ALL LAUGHING]
450
00:17:30,726 --> 00:17:32,226
Summer nights.
451
00:17:35,259 --> 00:17:36,359
[SIGHS]
452
00:17:36,393 --> 00:17:38,859
Well, I still have
to talk about this
453
00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:40,793
to Mr. De Granmont.
KRAMER: Of course, yes.
454
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,559
But barring any unforeseen
developments,
455
00:17:42,593 --> 00:17:44,693
gentlemen, I think
we're sitting on a winner.
456
00:17:44,726 --> 00:17:45,726
All right, good.
457
00:17:45,759 --> 00:17:47,526
Frank...
458
00:17:47,559 --> 00:17:48,279
I want to tell you
how sorry I am
459
00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:49,626
I want to tell you
how sorry I am
460
00:17:49,659 --> 00:17:51,626
to hear about you
and Estelle separating.
461
00:17:51,659 --> 00:17:53,493
Oh, thank you Sid,
but that's all in the past.
462
00:17:53,526 --> 00:17:54,426
I'm ready to move on.
463
00:17:55,693 --> 00:17:58,326
I've always been
very fond of Estelle.
464
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,393
Beautiful woman.
465
00:18:00,426 --> 00:18:04,126
I, uh-- I hope you don't
think this is out of line
466
00:18:04,159 --> 00:18:07,526
but would it be okay with you
if I were to ask her out?
467
00:18:08,526 --> 00:18:10,693
You wanna go out
with my wife?
468
00:18:10,726 --> 00:18:13,159
Where do you get the nerve
to ask me something like that?!
469
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,393
No, Frank,
I'm just saying--
470
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,493
I know what you're saying,
471
00:18:15,526 --> 00:18:16,893
and I know
what you're thinking!
472
00:18:16,926 --> 00:18:18,059
Come on, Cosmo.
No, Frank!
473
00:18:18,093 --> 00:18:18,279
I'm not doing business
with this guy.
474
00:18:18,279 --> 00:18:19,893
I'm not doing business
with this guy.
475
00:18:19,926 --> 00:18:21,426
Frank! Frank!
476
00:18:24,159 --> 00:18:25,626
GEORGE:
Jerry took the couch back.
477
00:18:25,659 --> 00:18:26,826
He took it back?
478
00:18:26,859 --> 00:18:28,326
Didn't you tell him
I was using it?
479
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:30,959
Oh, I pleaded with him.
480
00:18:30,993 --> 00:18:32,159
Where am I supposed to sleep?
481
00:18:32,193 --> 00:18:33,393
Well, I...
I took the liberty
482
00:18:33,426 --> 00:18:34,793
of packing your things.
483
00:18:34,826 --> 00:18:36,359
Mom's coming to get you.
484
00:18:36,393 --> 00:18:38,193
I thought Jerry
didn't want that couch
485
00:18:38,226 --> 00:18:39,826
because of the stain.
486
00:18:39,859 --> 00:18:40,826
What stain?
487
00:18:40,859 --> 00:18:41,826
Oh, you didn't notice?
488
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:42,826
It has a pee stain.
489
00:18:45,059 --> 00:18:47,693
You had me sleeping
on a pee-stained couch?
490
00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:48,279
No. No, no, no.
491
00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:49,793
No. No, no, no.
492
00:18:49,826 --> 00:18:51,159
The cushion
was turned over.
493
00:18:51,193 --> 00:18:53,493
But the very idea,
you had me lying in urine!
494
00:18:56,159 --> 00:18:57,193
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
495
00:18:57,226 --> 00:18:58,926
Ah, there's Mom!
There's Mom.
496
00:19:00,326 --> 00:19:01,726
Is it safe to come in?
497
00:19:01,759 --> 00:19:03,293
Oh, of course.
Of course.
498
00:19:03,326 --> 00:19:06,293
You're not having any
of your transvestite parties?
499
00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:07,559
Will you stop it?
500
00:19:07,593 --> 00:19:09,959
I lived with him for 40 years.
501
00:19:09,993 --> 00:19:12,293
I never saw him
trying on my underwear.
502
00:19:12,326 --> 00:19:14,459
As soon as he leaves the house,
503
00:19:14,493 --> 00:19:16,493
he turns into J. Edgar Hoover.
504
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,226
Here, Cosmo.
Oh, hey.
505
00:19:22,259 --> 00:19:24,126
You can have the hi-fi,
I don't need it, now.
506
00:19:24,159 --> 00:19:25,193
I got one
at home.
507
00:19:25,226 --> 00:19:26,193
All right,
let's go.
508
00:19:26,226 --> 00:19:28,059
We'll go out for dinner tonight.
509
00:19:28,093 --> 00:19:30,226
I can't tonight.
I'm busy.
510
00:19:30,259 --> 00:19:31,559
What do ya mean, busy?
511
00:19:31,593 --> 00:19:33,359
I'm having dinner with someone.
512
00:19:33,393 --> 00:19:34,593
With whom?
513
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,893
Sid Farkas.
514
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,693
Sid Farkas?
515
00:19:39,726 --> 00:19:41,693
You're not havin' dinner
with a bra salesman.
516
00:19:41,726 --> 00:19:42,859
Hey,
517
00:19:42,893 --> 00:19:44,659
he only sells them.
He doesn't wear 'em.
518
00:19:46,726 --> 00:19:47,893
Okay, that's it.
519
00:19:47,926 --> 00:19:48,279
I'm not comin' home.
520
00:19:48,279 --> 00:19:50,226
I'm not comin' home.
521
00:19:50,259 --> 00:19:53,126
But you can't stay here!
There's no place to sleep!
522
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:55,026
We'll work somethin' out.
523
00:20:03,559 --> 00:20:05,593
[♪]
524
00:20:07,693 --> 00:20:09,026
Stop him!
525
00:20:09,059 --> 00:20:11,226
Ja, ja, ja!
It's him!
526
00:20:11,259 --> 00:20:13,493
Stop that man!
527
00:20:13,526 --> 00:20:14,726
It's him!
528
00:20:14,759 --> 00:20:17,193
Somebody stop him.
529
00:20:17,226 --> 00:20:18,279
Please, quick!
530
00:20:18,279 --> 00:20:19,559
Please, quick!
531
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:20,693
Stop, it's him!
532
00:20:20,726 --> 00:20:22,526
I know! I know!
533
00:20:22,559 --> 00:20:24,459
Help, stop him!
534
00:20:24,493 --> 00:20:27,026
Hey, that record player
is not yours.
535
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,526
No, look, somebody
gave it to me.
536
00:20:28,559 --> 00:20:30,693
You're a thief.
We have proof.
537
00:20:30,726 --> 00:20:32,259
What is that?
538
00:20:33,659 --> 00:20:36,959
It's the first upper-body
support undergarment
539
00:20:36,993 --> 00:20:38,359
specifically designed for men.
540
00:20:38,393 --> 00:20:39,693
How does it connect
in the back?
541
00:20:39,726 --> 00:20:40,693
With a hook?
542
00:20:40,726 --> 00:20:41,726
Oh, no, no, no, no.
543
00:20:41,759 --> 00:20:42,826
Here.
544
00:20:42,859 --> 00:20:44,193
Velcro.
545
00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:47,326
[SPEAKS GERMAN]
546
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:48,279
[LAUGHTER]
547
00:20:48,279 --> 00:20:48,993
[LAUGHTER]
548
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,493
It fits good, huh?
549
00:20:52,526 --> 00:20:56,659
Well, I suppose
it'll have to do.
550
00:20:56,693 --> 00:20:58,493
It's a beautiful couch.
551
00:20:58,526 --> 00:20:59,759
It's hardly
been used.
552
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:03,326
Poppie!
553
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,659
Well, hello, Jerry.
554
00:21:05,693 --> 00:21:06,726
What are you
doing here?
555
00:21:06,759 --> 00:21:08,559
Visiting my friend.
556
00:21:08,593 --> 00:21:09,993
Hey, how ya feelin', Poppie?
557
00:21:10,026 --> 00:21:12,059
Much better, much better.
558
00:21:12,093 --> 00:21:16,293
The doctors say I cannot
have no aggravation.
559
00:21:16,326 --> 00:21:18,279
So I sell the restaurant.
560
00:21:18,279 --> 00:21:18,493
So I sell the restaurant.
561
00:21:18,526 --> 00:21:21,126
I just take it easy.
562
00:21:21,159 --> 00:21:26,393
See, if I get excited,
that's aggravate my condition.
563
00:21:26,426 --> 00:21:30,793
The last time I got aggravated
was in the restaurant.
564
00:21:30,826 --> 00:21:32,893
With your friend.
565
00:21:32,926 --> 00:21:36,259
She started a big fight
about abortion.
566
00:21:37,993 --> 00:21:39,059
It's you!
567
00:21:40,493 --> 00:21:41,626
It's you!
568
00:21:41,659 --> 00:21:42,626
What?
569
00:21:42,659 --> 00:21:44,293
You! I...
570
00:21:44,326 --> 00:21:45,459
I...
571
00:21:45,493 --> 00:21:46,959
I gotta sit down.
572
00:21:46,993 --> 00:21:47,959
No, Poppie! No!
573
00:21:47,993 --> 00:21:48,279
No, Poppie!
574
00:21:48,279 --> 00:21:49,193
No, Poppie!
575
00:21:49,226 --> 00:21:51,326
[♪]
576
00:22:15,593 --> 00:22:17,526
Kasha?
577
00:22:25,659 --> 00:22:27,399
No, thanks, Dad.
578
00:22:27,399 --> 00:22:27,593
No, thanks, Dad.
39310
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