Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,600
The old-fashioned barbershop is,
unfortunately,
2
00:00:03,633 --> 00:00:05,266
becoming a thing of the past.
3
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:06,266
Now, what went wrong?
4
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:07,266
Well, first of all,
5
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:09,633
he needs a $20,000 chair
6
00:00:09,666 --> 00:00:11,966
to make a $3 tip.
7
00:00:12,962 --> 00:00:14,895
I say cut back on the chair,
8
00:00:14,928 --> 00:00:17,428
update the magazines.
9
00:00:17,462 --> 00:00:20,228
Why do barbers
always display that license?
10
00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:21,928
There's no laws in hair cutting.
11
00:00:21,962 --> 00:00:23,695
But show customers
the back of their head.
12
00:00:23,728 --> 00:00:24,895
That's the one law.
13
00:00:24,928 --> 00:00:26,462
I don't want to see the back
of my head.
14
00:00:26,495 --> 00:00:27,695
Why do I want to see something
15
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,128
that I won't see
at any other time?
16
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:30,000
When I buy pants,
17
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,528
When I buy pants,
18
00:00:30,562 --> 00:00:32,628
two salesmen don't lift me up
by the legs and go:
19
00:00:32,662 --> 00:00:35,128
"How do you like the crotch?"
20
00:00:35,162 --> 00:00:37,595
If I wanted to see everything,
I would've been a fly.
21
00:00:40,495 --> 00:00:43,728
[♪]
22
00:00:43,762 --> 00:00:46,395
Well, George, we here at Sanalac
like to think of ourselves
23
00:00:46,428 --> 00:00:48,028
as a fairly
progressive company.
24
00:00:48,062 --> 00:00:50,562
We have a small, but
prestigious, group of clients.
25
00:00:50,595 --> 00:00:52,728
Well, a lot of people
consider me, uh,
26
00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:54,328
small and prestigious.
27
00:00:55,762 --> 00:00:57,595
That's funny,
George.
28
00:00:57,628 --> 00:00:58,595
You're very quick.
29
00:00:58,628 --> 00:00:59,595
Ah, well.
30
00:00:59,628 --> 00:01:01,462
I feel like I don't--
31
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,262
I don't have to explain
every little thing to you.
32
00:01:04,295 --> 00:01:06,062
You understand
everything immediately.
33
00:01:06,095 --> 00:01:08,956
I enjoy
understanding.
34
00:01:08,956 --> 00:01:09,062
I enjoy
understanding.
35
00:01:10,062 --> 00:01:11,695
I want you
to have this job.
36
00:01:11,728 --> 00:01:12,695
Of course--
37
00:01:12,728 --> 00:01:13,695
Stu Zimmer
line two.
38
00:01:13,728 --> 00:01:15,928
Great.
Thanks.
39
00:01:15,962 --> 00:01:17,095
I've gotta
take this call.
40
00:01:17,128 --> 00:01:18,428
Listen.
41
00:01:18,462 --> 00:01:20,662
I'm really glad
that you came in.
42
00:01:22,728 --> 00:01:25,028
"I want you
to have this job.
43
00:01:25,062 --> 00:01:27,862
Of course..."
44
00:01:27,895 --> 00:01:29,028
Wha... Yeah?
45
00:01:29,062 --> 00:01:30,528
That's it.
46
00:01:30,562 --> 00:01:32,295
What? What do you mean,
"That's it?"
47
00:01:32,328 --> 00:01:33,695
He never finished
his sentence.
48
00:01:33,728 --> 00:01:35,428
He got a call,
ended the interview.
49
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:36,928
"Of course,"
was the last thing?
50
00:01:36,962 --> 00:01:38,262
Maybe he was going to say,
51
00:01:38,295 --> 00:01:38,956
"Of course, I have to check
with my associates."
52
00:01:38,956 --> 00:01:41,062
"Of course, I have to check
with my associates."
53
00:01:41,095 --> 00:01:43,262
"I want you to have this job,
of course...
54
00:01:43,295 --> 00:01:45,128
"the Board of Directors
is under indictment
55
00:01:45,162 --> 00:01:46,728
and will be serving time."
56
00:01:46,762 --> 00:01:48,462
"I want you to have this job,
of course...
57
00:01:48,495 --> 00:01:49,962
sodomy is
a prerequisite."
58
00:01:49,995 --> 00:01:51,962
Oh, all right.
59
00:01:51,995 --> 00:01:54,028
Why don't you just
go ahead and call him?
60
00:01:54,062 --> 00:01:55,462
Because he made a big deal
61
00:01:55,495 --> 00:01:57,595
about how I understand
everything immediately.
62
00:01:57,628 --> 00:01:58,895
That's what impressed him.
63
00:01:58,928 --> 00:02:00,895
So if you call to ask
if you have the job,
64
00:02:00,928 --> 00:02:02,095
you might lose the job.
65
00:02:02,128 --> 00:02:03,128
And if I don't call--
66
00:02:03,162 --> 00:02:04,262
You might have
the job,
67
00:02:04,295 --> 00:02:05,362
but you'll never
know it.
68
00:02:05,395 --> 00:02:06,362
Oh.
69
00:02:06,395 --> 00:02:07,562
What kind
of company is it?
70
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,762
Rest stop supply.
71
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:08,956
Oh. Oh.
72
00:02:08,956 --> 00:02:09,795
Oh. Oh.
73
00:02:09,828 --> 00:02:11,628
Good for you.
74
00:02:11,662 --> 00:02:13,228
Hey. Yup, yup, yup.
75
00:02:13,262 --> 00:02:14,928
Hey.
76
00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:15,962
Shower?
77
00:02:15,995 --> 00:02:16,962
Haircut.
78
00:02:16,995 --> 00:02:18,062
I'm very happy
with this.
79
00:02:18,095 --> 00:02:19,095
Who'd you use,
Gino?
80
00:02:19,128 --> 00:02:20,295
Of course.
81
00:02:20,328 --> 00:02:21,962
Wouldn't let that
butcher cut my hair.
82
00:02:21,995 --> 00:02:23,395
What butcher?
83
00:02:23,428 --> 00:02:25,395
The uncle: Enzo.
Jerry uses him.
84
00:02:25,428 --> 00:02:27,195
I've been going to him
for 12 years.
85
00:02:27,228 --> 00:02:29,095
I can't switch.
I'd hurt his feelings.
86
00:02:29,128 --> 00:02:30,728
You never get
good haircuts.
87
00:02:30,762 --> 00:02:32,095
You can get
a good one today.
88
00:02:32,128 --> 00:02:35,195
It's Enzo's day off.
Gino's there all by himself.
89
00:02:35,228 --> 00:02:36,595
Really?
90
00:02:36,628 --> 00:02:38,956
Yeah, you know what? You should
get one for my bachelor auction.
91
00:02:38,956 --> 00:02:39,762
Yeah, you know what? You should
get one for my bachelor auction.
92
00:02:39,795 --> 00:02:41,262
What bachelor
auction?
93
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,095
Oh, it's this thing
where they auction off
94
00:02:43,128 --> 00:02:44,962
dates with bachelors
for charity.
95
00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:46,762
And you didn't
ask me to do it?
96
00:02:46,795 --> 00:02:49,295
I could raise enough
money to cure polio.
97
00:02:49,328 --> 00:02:52,028
I believe they've had a cure
for polio for quite some time.
98
00:02:52,062 --> 00:02:53,828
Polio?
99
00:02:55,562 --> 00:02:56,595
Will you go ahead?
100
00:02:56,628 --> 00:02:58,428
You need a haircut.
101
00:02:58,462 --> 00:03:00,162
Okay.
102
00:03:01,262 --> 00:03:02,628
What are you
all dressed up for?
103
00:03:02,662 --> 00:03:03,728
Had a job
interview.
104
00:03:03,762 --> 00:03:04,862
Yeah? How'd it go?
105
00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:05,895
Good.
106
00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,828
Of course...
107
00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:15,895
[ITALIAN ACCENT]
Ah, Jerry!
108
00:03:15,928 --> 00:03:17,295
Oh. Hi, Enzo.
109
00:03:17,328 --> 00:03:19,228
You come
for the haircut.
110
00:03:19,262 --> 00:03:20,395
Uh, no.
Actually, I was--
111
00:03:20,428 --> 00:03:21,395
It's my day off,
112
00:03:21,428 --> 00:03:23,228
but I take care
of you anyway,
113
00:03:23,262 --> 00:03:25,862
because you my favorite
customer. You been with me
114
00:03:25,895 --> 00:03:27,295
for so long.
115
00:03:27,328 --> 00:03:28,895
You're so loyal.
116
00:03:28,928 --> 00:03:31,895
Well, uh,
if it's your day off--
117
00:03:31,928 --> 00:03:33,395
Eh, what's
the difference?
118
00:03:33,428 --> 00:03:34,462
It takes
ten minutes.
119
00:03:34,495 --> 00:03:35,828
Well, it's...
120
00:03:38,295 --> 00:03:38,956
Jerry, today I'm going to do
something special for you.
121
00:03:38,956 --> 00:03:42,095
Jerry, today I'm going to do
something special for you.
122
00:03:42,128 --> 00:03:43,562
I don't wanna take
too much off.
123
00:03:43,595 --> 00:03:45,762
Hey, who's
your barber, eh?
124
00:03:45,795 --> 00:03:47,195
You tell the joke,
125
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,095
I cut the hair.
126
00:03:50,562 --> 00:03:52,462
Gino, you've outdone
yourself this time.
127
00:03:52,495 --> 00:03:55,395
This is the best haircut
I've ever had.
128
00:04:08,795 --> 00:04:08,956
He massacred you!
129
00:04:08,956 --> 00:04:10,295
He massacred you!
130
00:04:10,328 --> 00:04:11,695
I know.
131
00:04:11,728 --> 00:04:13,762
You look like
you're five years-old.
132
00:04:15,995 --> 00:04:18,462
What if I shampoo?
Sometimes a shampoo helps.
133
00:04:18,495 --> 00:04:20,562
You gotta start
seeing somebody else.
134
00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:22,695
Get out
of this relationship.
135
00:04:22,728 --> 00:04:24,562
I can't.
He loves me.
136
00:04:24,595 --> 00:04:26,195
He says I'm his
most loyal customer.
137
00:04:26,228 --> 00:04:27,762
Plus, he's right there
on the corner.
138
00:04:27,795 --> 00:04:29,895
I'd have to pass him
every day when I go by.
139
00:04:29,928 --> 00:04:31,195
But,
you gotta do it.
140
00:04:31,228 --> 00:04:33,662
I can't, I can't.
I'd break his heart.
141
00:04:34,828 --> 00:04:36,628
Ah.
142
00:04:36,662 --> 00:04:38,956
No way
my Gino did that.
143
00:04:38,956 --> 00:04:38,962
No way
my Gino did that.
144
00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:41,062
It's an Enzo.
145
00:04:41,095 --> 00:04:43,095
He was in the shop.
You told me he was off.
146
00:04:43,128 --> 00:04:44,228
So what?
147
00:04:44,262 --> 00:04:46,462
So I didn't want
to hurt his feelings.
148
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,862
You can't continue
seeing him.
149
00:04:47,895 --> 00:04:49,195
You're
destroying yourself.
150
00:04:49,228 --> 00:04:50,428
Aah!
151
00:04:51,662 --> 00:04:53,228
I'm not gonna
let you.
152
00:04:53,262 --> 00:04:54,695
Now, if you don't call him,
I will.
153
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,895
No, Kramer,
you can't do that.
154
00:04:56,928 --> 00:04:58,628
No, I'm call Gino.
You'll see him.
155
00:04:58,662 --> 00:05:00,295
We're gonna get
that haircut fixed up.
156
00:05:00,328 --> 00:05:01,562
I don't want you
to call him.
157
00:05:01,595 --> 00:05:03,462
All right. Gee.
158
00:05:03,495 --> 00:05:05,162
You're crazy.
159
00:05:06,762 --> 00:05:07,895
So, uh...
160
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:08,956
I still haven't heard
about that job.
161
00:05:08,956 --> 00:05:09,462
I still haven't heard
about that job.
162
00:05:09,495 --> 00:05:10,562
Yeah,
that's tough one.
163
00:05:10,595 --> 00:05:11,628
What are you gonna do?
164
00:05:12,428 --> 00:05:13,762
I have an idea.
165
00:05:13,795 --> 00:05:15,262
Yeah?
166
00:05:15,295 --> 00:05:16,795
I show up.
167
00:05:19,628 --> 00:05:21,428
What do you mean,
you show up?
168
00:05:21,462 --> 00:05:22,895
I show up.
169
00:05:22,928 --> 00:05:25,262
I pretend
I have the job.
170
00:05:25,295 --> 00:05:26,928
The guy's
on vacation.
171
00:05:26,962 --> 00:05:28,628
If I have the job,
it's fine.
172
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,928
If not, by the time
he comes back,
173
00:05:30,962 --> 00:05:32,662
I'm ensconced.
174
00:05:34,162 --> 00:05:35,262
Hmm. Not bad.
175
00:05:35,295 --> 00:05:37,028
What's the worst
that could happen?
176
00:05:37,062 --> 00:05:38,956
Well, you'd be embarrassed
and humiliated
177
00:05:38,956 --> 00:05:39,395
Well, you'd be embarrassed
and humiliated
178
00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:40,862
in front of a large
group of people
179
00:05:40,895 --> 00:05:42,628
and have to walk out
in shame with your tail
180
00:05:42,662 --> 00:05:43,728
between your legs.
181
00:05:43,762 --> 00:05:45,995
Yeah. So?
182
00:05:47,428 --> 00:05:48,462
Yeah, I see what
you mean.
183
00:05:48,495 --> 00:05:49,895
I forgot who
I was dealing with.
184
00:05:53,328 --> 00:05:54,728
GEORGE:
Good morning.
185
00:05:54,762 --> 00:05:56,128
Good morning.
186
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:58,428
Morning. Hi.
Nice to see ya.
187
00:05:58,462 --> 00:05:59,562
How are ya?
188
00:05:59,595 --> 00:06:01,262
Good morning.
Good morning.
189
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:03,395
Good morning.
190
00:06:03,428 --> 00:06:05,062
How can I help you?
191
00:06:05,095 --> 00:06:06,695
Uh, the name is
George Costanza.
192
00:06:06,728 --> 00:06:08,928
Uh, I'm starting work
here today.
193
00:06:08,962 --> 00:06:10,462
I was wondering
if you could, uh,
194
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,695
tell me where my office is?
195
00:06:11,728 --> 00:06:13,962
I wasn't aware that uh--
Mike!
196
00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:15,862
This is
George Costanza.
197
00:06:15,895 --> 00:06:17,562
He's starting
here today.
198
00:06:17,595 --> 00:06:19,028
Welcome aboard.
199
00:06:19,062 --> 00:06:21,062
Thanks, Mike.
Nice to be aboard.
200
00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:23,628
I didn't know know Mr. Tuttle
was finished interviewing.
201
00:06:23,662 --> 00:06:27,095
Well, he was probably
just getting anxious
to start his vacation.
202
00:06:28,595 --> 00:06:29,795
He wants to find his office.
203
00:06:29,828 --> 00:06:31,695
Oh, well, uh...
204
00:06:31,728 --> 00:06:33,628
All right, let's see...
We've got two.
205
00:06:33,662 --> 00:06:35,295
There's the big one
down the hall there,
206
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,362
and the small one over here.
I should ask Jack.
207
00:06:37,395 --> 00:06:38,956
Oh, leave Jack
alone.
208
00:06:38,956 --> 00:06:39,128
Oh, leave Jack
alone.
209
00:06:39,162 --> 00:06:40,695
Jack's got
enough problems.
210
00:06:40,728 --> 00:06:42,395
I'll just take
the small office.
211
00:06:42,428 --> 00:06:43,428
Really?
212
00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:45,562
Yes, I like to feel cozy.
213
00:06:45,595 --> 00:06:46,862
I have a very small apartment.
214
00:06:46,895 --> 00:06:48,595
I like to feel
tucked in, nestled in.
215
00:06:48,628 --> 00:06:50,262
Love to be nestled.
216
00:06:50,295 --> 00:06:52,795
All right.
It's 808, right down there.
217
00:06:52,828 --> 00:06:54,695
Meanwhile, I'll get you
the Pensky file.
218
00:06:54,728 --> 00:06:56,362
You can start
working on that.
219
00:06:56,395 --> 00:06:58,728
Yes, of course.
The Pensky file.
220
00:06:58,762 --> 00:07:01,362
Can't wait to sink
my teeth into that.
221
00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:03,195
Wow, that Pensky.
222
00:07:03,228 --> 00:07:05,395
Well,
we'll straighten him out.
223
00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:42,495
[WHISTLING]
224
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,895
So, what do you do there
all day?
225
00:07:51,928 --> 00:07:54,862
They gave me
the Pensky file.
226
00:07:54,895 --> 00:07:56,562
Oh. So it's a nice
place to work?
227
00:07:56,595 --> 00:07:58,228
You know,
I'm enjoying it very much.
228
00:07:58,262 --> 00:08:01,228
I think my co-workers
are really taking to me.
229
00:08:01,262 --> 00:08:02,595
We're like a family.
230
00:08:02,628 --> 00:08:03,595
In fact,
231
00:08:03,628 --> 00:08:05,928
yesterday was Grace's birthday.
232
00:08:05,962 --> 00:08:07,862
She's such a sweet woman,
233
00:08:07,895 --> 00:08:08,956
so we had a little party
234
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:09,695
so we had a little party
235
00:08:09,728 --> 00:08:12,428
with cake and champagne, and...
236
00:08:12,462 --> 00:08:13,928
I made a toast.
237
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:17,262
What about
your boss,
238
00:08:17,295 --> 00:08:18,395
who
interviewed you?
239
00:08:18,428 --> 00:08:21,128
He'll be back
on Monday.
240
00:08:22,095 --> 00:08:23,062
Hi.
241
00:08:23,095 --> 00:08:24,628
Hey.
Hi.
Hey.
242
00:08:25,795 --> 00:08:27,295
How come
you're wearing a hat?
243
00:08:28,162 --> 00:08:29,428
I got a haircut.
244
00:08:29,462 --> 00:08:31,728
Oh, yeah?
Can I see it?
245
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,928
Nah, there's nothing
to see.
246
00:08:33,962 --> 00:08:35,095
Come on,
let me see it.
247
00:08:35,128 --> 00:08:36,095
Forget it.
248
00:08:36,128 --> 00:08:37,895
Come on!
249
00:08:39,428 --> 00:08:40,795
All right.
250
00:08:58,428 --> 00:08:59,495
JERRY:
All right.
251
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,062
It's very good.
Thank you.
252
00:09:03,095 --> 00:09:04,895
I'm sorry.
253
00:09:04,928 --> 00:09:06,028
I'm sorry.
254
00:09:06,062 --> 00:09:07,095
Did you...?
255
00:09:08,462 --> 00:09:08,956
You can forget about me
going to that bachelor auction.
256
00:09:08,956 --> 00:09:11,262
You can forget about me
going to that bachelor auction.
257
00:09:11,295 --> 00:09:13,795
What? No.
Jerry, you have to go.
258
00:09:13,828 --> 00:09:16,528
Ah, you know, Elaine, I'd do it
but I'm working that day.
259
00:09:16,562 --> 00:09:18,728
Yeah, too bad.
260
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:25,528
This is the worst haircut
Jerry's ever had.
261
00:09:25,562 --> 00:09:26,562
You gotta fix it.
262
00:09:26,595 --> 00:09:28,128
[ITALIAN ACCENT]
Sure.
263
00:09:28,162 --> 00:09:29,228
I fix.
264
00:09:29,262 --> 00:09:31,695
But you gotta make sure
you no tell anybody.
265
00:09:31,728 --> 00:09:33,362
He's a little crazy.
266
00:09:33,395 --> 00:09:36,228
I don't know what he do if he
find out I touch Jerry's hair.
267
00:09:37,428 --> 00:09:38,956
So, I love
that Edward Scissorhands!
268
00:09:38,956 --> 00:09:39,795
So, I love
that Edward Scissorhands!
269
00:09:39,828 --> 00:09:41,628
That's the best movie
I ever seen.
270
00:09:41,662 --> 00:09:45,528
Again with
the Edward Scissorhand?
271
00:09:45,562 --> 00:09:48,528
How can you have a hand
like a scissor, eh?
272
00:09:48,562 --> 00:09:50,762
Show me one person who's got
a hand like a scissor!
273
00:09:50,795 --> 00:09:52,728
Hey,
it's a beautiful dream.
274
00:09:52,762 --> 00:09:54,062
I love to be this man.
275
00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:55,528
Did you ever think
276
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:59,062
about what you're going
to do on the toilet, hmm?
277
00:09:59,095 --> 00:10:01,562
What are you going to
do on the toilet?
278
00:10:02,462 --> 00:10:05,395
I'd like to have
shoehorn hands.
279
00:10:09,562 --> 00:10:10,695
Hey.
280
00:10:10,728 --> 00:10:11,962
Hey.
Hey.
281
00:10:11,995 --> 00:10:13,362
Okay,
now listen to me.
282
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:15,628
I talked to Gino.
He's going to fix the haircut.
283
00:10:15,662 --> 00:10:18,462
Oh, great! Then you can go
to the bachelor auction.
284
00:10:18,495 --> 00:10:20,528
Yeah, but--?
Aah! No buts!
285
00:10:20,562 --> 00:10:22,762
His apartment,
tonight, 8:00.
286
00:10:22,795 --> 00:10:23,962
Can he fix it?
287
00:10:23,995 --> 00:10:25,495
I don't know.
288
00:10:26,562 --> 00:10:29,028
[♪]
289
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,728
Boy...
290
00:10:30,762 --> 00:10:33,795
You got a beautiful
head of hair.
291
00:10:33,828 --> 00:10:35,295
Well, thank you.
292
00:10:35,328 --> 00:10:38,728
I bet Uncle Enzo,
he tell you that all the time.
293
00:10:38,762 --> 00:10:38,956
Actually, Enzo hasn't
said that to me in a while.
294
00:10:38,956 --> 00:10:41,795
Actually, Enzo hasn't
said that to me in a while.
295
00:10:41,828 --> 00:10:43,295
Oh.
296
00:10:43,328 --> 00:10:45,762
I don't think
Uncle Enzo realize
297
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:48,528
what a lucky barber
he is.
298
00:10:48,562 --> 00:10:50,428
That's nice of you
to say.
299
00:10:50,462 --> 00:10:51,762
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
300
00:10:51,795 --> 00:10:53,128
Oh. Just a sec.
301
00:10:56,462 --> 00:10:57,628
Yes?
302
00:10:57,662 --> 00:10:59,062
It's your Uncle Enzo.
303
00:10:59,795 --> 00:11:01,595
Oh. It's Uncle Enzo!
304
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,762
Quick! Go in there!
I'll clean up.
305
00:11:05,962 --> 00:11:07,362
Come on up.
306
00:11:07,395 --> 00:11:08,956
[♪]
307
00:11:08,956 --> 00:11:09,795
[♪]
308
00:11:18,128 --> 00:11:19,162
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
309
00:11:21,795 --> 00:11:23,728
Uncle Enzo,
what are you doing here?
310
00:11:23,762 --> 00:11:25,895
I come to apologize.
311
00:11:25,928 --> 00:11:27,062
Apologize?
312
00:11:27,095 --> 00:11:30,262
I rented the movie
Edward Scissorhands.
313
00:11:30,295 --> 00:11:32,628
That Johnny Depp,
he make me cry.
314
00:11:32,662 --> 00:11:35,462
Oh. He make
me cry, too.
315
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,895
You want
something to drink?
316
00:11:36,928 --> 00:11:37,895
Mmm.
317
00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:38,928
Hey!
318
00:11:38,962 --> 00:11:40,662
What's all this?
319
00:11:41,995 --> 00:11:42,962
Nothing.
320
00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:43,995
It's just hair.
321
00:11:45,062 --> 00:11:46,595
You do haircut
in the apartment?
322
00:11:46,628 --> 00:11:47,595
No.
323
00:11:47,628 --> 00:11:49,295
Pizza man was here.
324
00:11:49,328 --> 00:11:50,895
Maybe some fall off.
325
00:11:50,928 --> 00:11:53,128
He's going bald.
326
00:11:53,162 --> 00:11:56,228
It looks very familiar.
327
00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:03,562
[♪]
328
00:12:04,576 --> 00:12:06,176
In the one minute
that he worked on me,
329
00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:07,543
I could tell
he was really good.
330
00:12:07,576 --> 00:12:09,709
Yeah. Slow,
gentle, attentive.
331
00:12:09,743 --> 00:12:11,676
Yeah.
Yeah.
332
00:12:11,709 --> 00:12:13,076
Didn't I tell you?
333
00:12:13,109 --> 00:12:15,176
But Enzo picked up
one of my hairs.
334
00:12:15,209 --> 00:12:16,176
Yeah, so?
335
00:12:16,209 --> 00:12:17,176
I think he knew.
336
00:12:17,209 --> 00:12:18,843
No,
he doesn't know.
337
00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:20,209
He knows my hair.
338
00:12:20,243 --> 00:12:21,776
You're just
imagining things.
339
00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:22,843
He doesn't know
a thing.
340
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,343
Come on.
Pull yourself together.
341
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:25,776
Okay, okay.
342
00:12:29,543 --> 00:12:30,762
What happened?
It looks the same.
343
00:12:30,762 --> 00:12:31,043
What happened?
It looks the same.
344
00:12:31,076 --> 00:12:32,343
He didn't get to finish.
345
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,443
His uncle came in.
We almost got caught!
346
00:12:36,376 --> 00:12:39,409
Jerry, the auction
is in a few hours.
347
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:40,843
Take the K-Man.
348
00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:41,843
Yep.
349
00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:44,376
You can still go.
350
00:12:44,409 --> 00:12:46,009
What?
Are you kidding?
351
00:12:46,043 --> 00:12:47,543
Look at him!
He's grotesque!
352
00:12:47,576 --> 00:12:48,543
Ya think?
353
00:12:48,576 --> 00:12:50,876
Do I think?
He's repugnant.
354
00:12:55,543 --> 00:12:56,543
What would you wear?
355
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,143
Whatever it takes.
356
00:13:01,643 --> 00:13:05,409
See, now, Newman
is a good customer.
357
00:13:05,443 --> 00:13:07,943
Once I find a barber,
I stick with him.
358
00:13:07,976 --> 00:13:10,076
I almost went
to barber school.
359
00:13:10,109 --> 00:13:12,409
I always felt
I had a talent for it.
360
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:15,243
Not everybody like Newman.
So loyal.
361
00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:18,109
NEWMAN:
Yeah, just the way
that I was raised.
362
00:13:18,143 --> 00:13:19,776
I'm special.
363
00:13:21,109 --> 00:13:24,409
You know, I don't mind
if somebody's funny,
364
00:13:24,443 --> 00:13:27,276
but I no like
the funny business.
365
00:13:31,876 --> 00:13:33,876
I'm going to go out
for a little bit.
366
00:13:33,909 --> 00:13:34,876
I'll be right back.
367
00:13:34,909 --> 00:13:36,143
Take your time.
368
00:13:42,476 --> 00:13:44,009
You happy
with the haircut?
369
00:13:44,043 --> 00:13:45,276
Hm, it's okay.
370
00:13:45,309 --> 00:13:46,309
A little crooked.
371
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:50,343
How you like a free haircut
for six months?
372
00:13:50,376 --> 00:13:51,609
What's the catch?
373
00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:54,609
You're gonna get me
a sample of Jerry's hair.
374
00:13:54,643 --> 00:13:58,209
Hmm. That job sounds like
it might be worth...
375
00:13:58,243 --> 00:14:00,576
a year's free haircuts.
376
00:14:00,609 --> 00:14:00,762
And a comb.
377
00:14:00,762 --> 00:14:02,543
And a comb.
378
00:14:09,076 --> 00:14:11,076
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
379
00:14:11,109 --> 00:14:13,309
Mr. Costanza, Mr. Pensky'shere to see you.
380
00:14:18,409 --> 00:14:20,009
Mr. Pensky?
381
00:14:20,043 --> 00:14:21,543
Of the Pensky file?
382
00:14:21,576 --> 00:14:22,676
Costanza?
383
00:14:22,709 --> 00:14:24,943
Arthur Pensky.
384
00:14:24,976 --> 00:14:27,076
Mr. Pensky.
385
00:14:27,109 --> 00:14:30,676
I, uh, I was just
working on your file.
386
00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:30,762
I was, uh, transferring
the contents of the file
387
00:14:30,762 --> 00:14:33,909
I was, uh, transferring
the contents of the file
388
00:14:33,943 --> 00:14:37,676
into this, uh, flexible
accordion-style folder to--
389
00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:38,843
Where's Tuttle?
390
00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:40,043
He's on vacation.
391
00:14:40,076 --> 00:14:42,909
He was on vacation
the last time I dropped by.
392
00:14:42,943 --> 00:14:44,076
Gimme my file.
393
00:14:47,743 --> 00:14:50,276
Looks like you put
a lot of work into this.
394
00:14:50,309 --> 00:14:54,009
In college, they used to call me
the Little Bulldog.
395
00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:56,576
Yeah, you are Pensky material.
396
00:14:56,609 --> 00:15:00,762
Would you ever consider
coming to work directly for me?
397
00:15:00,762 --> 00:15:01,409
Would you ever consider
coming to work directly for me?
398
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:02,409
Really?
399
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,009
You are aware--
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
400
00:15:04,043 --> 00:15:05,176
Mr. Costanza?
401
00:15:05,209 --> 00:15:06,243
Not now, Clarisse.
402
00:15:06,276 --> 00:15:07,409
Mr. Pensky should know
403
00:15:07,443 --> 00:15:09,243
they're towing his car.
404
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,076
Damn this city!
405
00:15:11,109 --> 00:15:12,576
I am aware...
406
00:15:12,609 --> 00:15:13,743
I am aware...
407
00:15:16,276 --> 00:15:17,343
He knows about us.
408
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:18,343
How do you know?
409
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,343
Because I know.
He's crazy.
410
00:15:20,376 --> 00:15:24,076
All morning, he looking at the
hair. He staring at the hair!
411
00:15:24,109 --> 00:15:25,343
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
412
00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:26,543
Who is it?
413
00:15:26,576 --> 00:15:27,609
It's Newman.
414
00:15:27,643 --> 00:15:29,343
He was in the shop
with Enzo.
415
00:15:29,376 --> 00:15:30,676
He can't see
me here.
416
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:30,762
Go in the bedroom.
417
00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:31,709
Go in the bedroom.
418
00:15:31,743 --> 00:15:32,943
Use the fire escape.
419
00:15:38,576 --> 00:15:39,543
What do you want?
420
00:15:39,576 --> 00:15:40,876
Could I use
your bathroom?
421
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,743
What's wrong
with yours?
422
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,943
My toilet's clogged.
You can't unclog it?
423
00:15:45,976 --> 00:15:47,609
No.
Did you ask Kramer?
He's out.
424
00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:49,476
Number one?
Yes, yes, yes.
425
00:15:50,109 --> 00:15:51,076
May I go?
426
00:15:51,109 --> 00:15:52,109
Go ahead.
427
00:15:52,143 --> 00:15:53,676
I gotta go very badly.
Flush twice!
428
00:15:53,709 --> 00:15:54,709
Thank you!
429
00:15:59,243 --> 00:16:00,762
No.
430
00:16:00,762 --> 00:16:01,009
No.
431
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,209
Jackpot.
432
00:16:02,243 --> 00:16:03,576
Heh-heh-heh.
433
00:16:03,609 --> 00:16:05,209
I don't believe this.
434
00:16:05,243 --> 00:16:07,343
There's no hair in this thing!
435
00:16:07,376 --> 00:16:08,776
I've never seen a person
436
00:16:08,809 --> 00:16:11,476
that didn't have at leastone hair in a brush.
437
00:16:13,943 --> 00:16:14,909
Unbelievable.
438
00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:15,976
Nothing!
439
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,476
Ah.
440
00:16:20,543 --> 00:16:22,543
[TOILET FLUSHES]
441
00:16:24,409 --> 00:16:26,309
[SNIPPING SOUND]
442
00:16:27,443 --> 00:16:28,543
You all right?
443
00:16:28,576 --> 00:16:29,543
Yeah, yeah.
444
00:16:29,576 --> 00:16:30,543
See ya later.
445
00:16:30,576 --> 00:16:30,762
What are you doing?
446
00:16:30,762 --> 00:16:31,709
What are you doing?
447
00:16:31,743 --> 00:16:33,576
I'm watching
Edward Scissorhands.
448
00:16:33,609 --> 00:16:35,876
Oh.
Could I watch a little?
449
00:16:35,909 --> 00:16:37,543
It's my favorite movie.
450
00:16:38,309 --> 00:16:39,409
Yeah, all right.
451
00:16:44,109 --> 00:16:45,609
What? You want
something to drink?
452
00:16:45,643 --> 00:16:46,976
No, no.
453
00:16:55,576 --> 00:16:57,009
If you want to watch,
sit down.
454
00:16:57,043 --> 00:16:58,409
You're making
me nervous.
455
00:17:01,909 --> 00:17:03,076
I tell ya,
this...
456
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,843
Scissorhands
is a hell of a barber.
457
00:17:04,876 --> 00:17:05,843
[SNIPS]
458
00:17:05,876 --> 00:17:07,209
Gotta go!
459
00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:10,076
Oh, gee, I--
I dropped a nickel.
460
00:17:11,276 --> 00:17:12,609
Yeah.
461
00:17:12,643 --> 00:17:14,076
See ya, Jerry.
462
00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:15,409
[LAUGHS]
463
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:23,943
[DOOR CLOSES]
464
00:17:29,143 --> 00:17:30,243
Did you get it?
465
00:17:30,276 --> 00:17:30,762
Heh-heh-heh.
466
00:17:30,762 --> 00:17:31,243
Heh-heh-heh.
467
00:17:31,276 --> 00:17:32,876
Huh?
468
00:17:32,909 --> 00:17:34,309
Eh?
469
00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:39,009
Oh, you done good, Newman.
470
00:17:39,043 --> 00:17:40,876
It was a cinch.
471
00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:42,376
Where you going?
472
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,209
Io voglio vendetta!
473
00:17:44,243 --> 00:17:46,276
[♪]
474
00:17:53,776 --> 00:17:55,176
ELAINE:
Nine hundred...
475
00:17:55,209 --> 00:17:56,843
Do I hear 1000?
476
00:17:56,876 --> 00:18:00,762
Ladies, he is
a Harvard graduate.
477
00:18:00,762 --> 00:18:01,409
Ladies, he is
a Harvard graduate.
478
00:18:01,443 --> 00:18:02,409
A thousand!
479
00:18:02,443 --> 00:18:03,409
A thousand.
480
00:18:03,443 --> 00:18:04,776
Okay,
1000 once...
481
00:18:04,809 --> 00:18:06,276
A thousand twice...
482
00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:07,843
A thousand three times.
483
00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:11,709
Sold! To the lucky lady
in the third row.
484
00:18:11,743 --> 00:18:12,709
Congratulations.
485
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:14,043
Thank you
so much.
486
00:18:15,143 --> 00:18:18,576
Okay, our next bachelor
is number, um...
487
00:18:18,609 --> 00:18:19,576
[MUSIC PLAYING]
488
00:18:19,609 --> 00:18:21,776
One twenty-four
on your program.
489
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,276
He--
490
00:18:23,309 --> 00:18:24,743
[APPLAUSE]
491
00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:26,443
He is, um...
492
00:18:26,476 --> 00:18:28,709
He's a
high school graduate.
493
00:18:28,743 --> 00:18:30,209
[MUMBLING]
494
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:30,762
Oh.
495
00:18:30,762 --> 00:18:31,909
Oh.
496
00:18:31,943 --> 00:18:33,609
Equivalency.
497
00:18:33,643 --> 00:18:37,009
A high school equivalency
program graduate.
498
00:18:37,043 --> 00:18:39,509
Um, he's, um...
499
00:18:39,543 --> 00:18:41,409
self-employed.
500
00:18:41,443 --> 00:18:43,176
He's...
501
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,576
I don't know, 6'3",
502
00:18:45,609 --> 00:18:47,909
190 pounds.
503
00:18:48,709 --> 00:18:50,376
He likes, uh...
504
00:18:51,609 --> 00:18:53,576
fruit.
505
00:18:53,609 --> 00:18:56,909
And, uh, he just got
um...a haircut.
506
00:18:56,943 --> 00:18:58,743
So...
507
00:18:58,776 --> 00:19:00,109
K-Kramer! Oh!
508
00:19:00,143 --> 00:19:00,762
Kramer! Oh!
509
00:19:00,762 --> 00:19:01,909
Kramer! Oh!
510
00:19:01,943 --> 00:19:04,676
Okay, um, why don't
we start the bidding?
511
00:19:04,709 --> 00:19:05,743
Um...
512
00:19:06,609 --> 00:19:08,909
Do I hear
five bucks?
513
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:12,243
I don't get
this Scissorhands.
514
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,676
Is he supposed to be
a superhero?
515
00:19:13,709 --> 00:19:16,776
Like Green Lantern or somebody?
What's with this guy?
516
00:19:18,309 --> 00:19:20,109
I'm just asking.
517
00:19:20,143 --> 00:19:22,109
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
518
00:19:22,143 --> 00:19:23,109
Who is it?
519
00:19:23,143 --> 00:19:24,576
Enzo Manganero!
520
00:19:24,609 --> 00:19:25,909
Oh, my God!
521
00:19:25,943 --> 00:19:27,709
[♪]
522
00:19:27,743 --> 00:19:28,776
One second!
523
00:19:28,809 --> 00:19:30,443
Go.
Go in the bedroom. Go.
524
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:41,076
It was you that was at Gino's
apartment the other night!
525
00:19:41,109 --> 00:19:42,376
No, I wasn't there!
526
00:19:42,409 --> 00:19:44,043
Don't lie!
527
00:19:44,076 --> 00:19:45,543
I know it was you!
528
00:19:45,576 --> 00:19:47,043
I get a sample of your hair.
529
00:19:47,076 --> 00:19:48,209
I match them up!
530
00:19:48,243 --> 00:19:49,309
Sample?
531
00:19:49,943 --> 00:19:51,109
Newman!
532
00:19:53,576 --> 00:19:54,943
Well, I was there,
533
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,709
but I was just
dropping off a book.
534
00:19:56,743 --> 00:19:57,843
Don't, Jerry.
535
00:19:57,876 --> 00:20:00,243
So! It's true!
536
00:20:00,276 --> 00:20:00,762
Yes.
537
00:20:00,762 --> 00:20:01,743
Yes.
538
00:20:01,776 --> 00:20:02,976
Is true.
539
00:20:04,609 --> 00:20:06,843
I'm gonna kill the both of you!
540
00:20:06,876 --> 00:20:07,876
[SNIPPING SOUND]
541
00:20:22,243 --> 00:20:23,509
Mr. Tuttle!
542
00:20:23,543 --> 00:20:24,509
You're back.
543
00:20:24,543 --> 00:20:26,409
George.
544
00:20:26,443 --> 00:20:28,776
I'm surprised
to find you here.
545
00:20:28,809 --> 00:20:29,843
You are?
546
00:20:29,876 --> 00:20:30,762
Oh, I thought
you would've taken
547
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:31,676
Oh, I thought
you would've taken
548
00:20:31,709 --> 00:20:32,843
the larger office.
549
00:20:32,876 --> 00:20:34,209
Oh.
550
00:20:34,243 --> 00:20:35,843
Oh. Really?
551
00:20:35,876 --> 00:20:37,776
I guess I didn't
make that clear
552
00:20:37,809 --> 00:20:38,776
when I hired you.
553
00:20:38,809 --> 00:20:39,843
Well...
554
00:20:39,876 --> 00:20:42,509
So where's that Pensky file?
555
00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:44,343
Let's see what
you've been up to
all week.
556
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:45,709
Well, here it is.
557
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,009
What have you been
doing all week?
558
00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,843
Well, you missed a lovely party
we had for Grace.
559
00:20:56,876 --> 00:20:59,009
You haven't done
anything with this.
560
00:20:59,043 --> 00:21:00,762
Well, bear in mind,
I am in the smaller office.
561
00:21:00,762 --> 00:21:02,776
Well, bear in mind,
I am in the smaller office.
562
00:21:04,243 --> 00:21:07,376
I'm beginning to wonder
if you understand anything.
563
00:21:07,409 --> 00:21:08,776
You are aware
564
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:11,209
that, uh, Pensky
is interested in me.
565
00:21:11,243 --> 00:21:13,743
You're not
Pensky material.
566
00:21:13,776 --> 00:21:15,509
Really?
567
00:21:15,543 --> 00:21:18,576
Well, we'll just see
about that.
568
00:21:19,576 --> 00:21:21,276
Ta-ta!
569
00:21:21,309 --> 00:21:22,576
Tut-tle.
570
00:21:23,743 --> 00:21:26,209
[MEN SOBBING]
571
00:21:35,476 --> 00:21:38,276
[♪]
572
00:21:38,309 --> 00:21:39,409
[GASPS]
573
00:21:40,476 --> 00:21:41,643
Jerry.
574
00:22:02,824 --> 00:22:03,785
MR. PENSKY:
Gee, George.
575
00:22:03,818 --> 00:22:06,451
I'm sorry I gave you
the wrong impression.
576
00:22:06,485 --> 00:22:08,451
What I was
going to say was,
577
00:22:08,485 --> 00:22:09,951
"Now, you are aware
578
00:22:09,985 --> 00:22:11,485
"that our Board of Directors
579
00:22:11,518 --> 00:22:12,851
"has been indicted.
580
00:22:14,151 --> 00:22:15,618
"Myself included.
581
00:22:15,651 --> 00:22:17,618
"And we're prohibited
582
00:22:17,651 --> 00:22:18,751
"from doing business
583
00:22:18,785 --> 00:22:20,951
until the investigation
is completed."
584
00:22:20,985 --> 00:22:24,751
So, obviously, we would
have no use for you.
585
00:22:24,785 --> 00:22:27,551
Obviously.
586
00:22:27,585 --> 00:22:28,585
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
587
00:22:28,618 --> 00:22:29,585
Yes?
588
00:22:29,618 --> 00:22:30,277
Excuse me,
589
00:22:30,277 --> 00:22:30,785
Excuse me,
590
00:22:30,818 --> 00:22:32,785
but Mr. Costanza's caris being towed.
591
00:22:42,118 --> 00:22:43,985
So when you gonna
be able to go out?
592
00:22:44,018 --> 00:22:45,418
Not for a while.
38339
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese